Obsessions and the Monkey Mind: Help for People on the Autism Spectrum
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- čas přidán 21. 08. 2024
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--- Recovery from Cassandra Syndrome - Counseling for Neurotypical Spouses: www.cassandrasyndromerecovery.com/2021/08/recovery-from-emotional-deprivation-for.html
--- ASD Men’s MasterClass: www.asdmasterclass.com/2022/02/asd-mens-masterclass.html
Parenting resources:
--- Preventing Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: www.autism-meltdowns.com/
--- Discipline for Defiant Teens on the Autism Spectrum: www.myaspergersteen.com/
--- Launching Adult Children with ASD Level 1: How to Promote Self-Reliance: www.launchingadultchildren.com/
--- Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Kids on the Spectrum: www.social-skills-emotion-management.com/
--- Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: aspergers-mystery.blogspot.com/
--- Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: www.high-functioningautism.com/
--- Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children and Teens with ASD Level 1: www.myaspergerschild.com/2019/07/parenting-system-that-reduces.html
I've pushed myself to tears with repetitive thoughts many times :(
Truly is torture, but in a strange way since part of you wants to explore the idea over and over even though you know it's bad for you every time you think about it.
I really appreciate the material in this video but I found it difficult to absorb as there is no visual input. Would you be able to re record this with you on the screen?
Meditation, breathing helps.
This nails it. I have had obsessions for as long as I can remember that I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about, and it sucks. Eventually, those obsessions go away but it's a torturous long time before they do.
Are your thought also negative? Thinking about negative event in your life?
Is it a constant ruminating of thinking?
So, in other words, stimming and intense special interests in autistic individuals are an absolutely healthy mind-body response to stress and negative experience caused obsessive thinking. They are a way for the autistic individual to self-regulate, fill their needs, find their inner strength, and move forward with renewed energy and a more positive outlook.
I sadly am cursed with Asperger's Syndrome. Every word I say to people they think I'm being rude. It's a nightmare, and a lonely path. :'(
I got Asperger's and exept for the odd time, I love it! It's something to be celebrated not to feel sad about. Focus on your strengths bro!
+Angelo Parkour Thank you. I have started doing stuff that makes me happy, I found a best friend and I started drawing which makes me feel better. As long as we're focused on the good stuff, we aspies will be fine.
T-ZER0 this comment surprised me cuz I love being autistic and as for friends I just tell a lot of half baked jokes and ppl (some people) like me I also know how to talk and how to act with different groups of ppl to the point I'm almost a completely different person depending on who I'm with its not hard to be a certain way when your with other ppl just don't put much thought into it seriously that's it
T-ZER0 I can totally relate.
I'm sorry T-zero. Have you sought therapy to work on social behavior and development? It would take time but it would help.
All the best for you take care.
call a friend? 1. have no friends 2. Can't speak to people properly.
Hannah Cherry I find it really hard to believe it's that hard to find one or two people who are fluent in aspie language.
Remember when it comes to friends it's quality over quantity.
No one can,they just think they can,most people have nothing to say either
Most people speak a whole lot about nothing. I guess I engage in what this video talks about and I don't even know it. My friends do the same.
I can relate to this very well. Pushing myself to do things like going to the gym get me out of the house. Gardening, cutting the lawn and house work are a temporary fix. Being creative, planning and having a good laugh is something that can push away the blues.
This has been the most helpful video clip I've watched in some time. Amazing to finally have someone explain exactly how my AS obsessive mind works and explain in terms to differentiate it from OCD, and what steps help to correct this thinking pattern. I've never been able to put my finger on why the OCD didn't sound like the correct condition. Thank you.
Obsessions can be absolute hell, it can actually be scary, but I think I have a better hold on my obsessions now than I did before, or, at least, I hope.
I used to have an obsession with a denim jacket that when I took off I felt like I was gonna be stared at and made fun of. So I wore it for years and even on a boy scout 9 mile hike in 109 degree weather, till I passed out from idr some heat thing name. This was when I had no idea I had Asperfer's and Autism though, so yeah...
Wow, I've never heard of suchan obsession. When did you find out that you had autism/asperger's syndrome?
About a month and a half ago now
Oh, I see. How old are you?
Rhailee Briggs 21
Omg this is my Son to a tee...Wow I have suspected that he has Aspergers for a while now and this just confirmed it...Thx for putting these videos out there.
cathy roncetti take notes about the family. You might find more family on spectrum.
HFA has never been explained to me more perfectly as how my mind words words.
This is exactly the same story right out of my thirty-seven year old brain but never been explained in "normal" words so well.
EXCELLENT - NO ONE COULD EXPLAIN THIS BETTER. Thanks
thank you! I have this issue all my life and it is torture. Putting it into words helps me address my issues.
Well written and spoken. Thank you.
I have watched alot of your videos. I am so grateful for finding your channel.
Thank you for all your engagement, God bless you!
Believe it or not but this works in case when You obsessively thinking about someone who told You something painful/rude/strict/making you feel worsles etc. - while replaying situation imagine that person naked, with baby nappy(Pamper) and big stupid fresh fruit hut on head telling you same staff.
You will lose importance for you of message he/she told and your brain will get off circle.
In case off "bad thoughts" - just tell yourself with confidence " it is not my thoughts" and brain go further.
And then use repetitive obsessive thinking for You - push yourself think 1) great situations from your real life (feed yourself with positive from it) 2) imagining fantasy episodes regarding you or someone you care(feeding positive)
Try it work after some repeat/training so brain get idea.
I call the intense special interests obsessions, this video seems to be about fixations with thoughts, not intense special interests. I just used the label "obsessions" as a kid to describe these intense special interests. It was the best way I could describe it. Nobody knew about aspergers back then. I also noted " the other kids" didn't seem to have this at all, and I knew I was way different than them. Like the video however, I fixation obsessed over the other kids and how mean they were to me. My first "obsession" was apparently with merry-go-rounds at age 3. I've had a whole line of them- birds/bird watching at 8-9 ( I probably talked for days about that goldfinch I saw), the Aztecs and Mesoamerica at 11-12, Uzis at 17 ( this is my silliest I think- it was just about just Uzis for like 2 years), and a more typical aspie one with the Titanic LOL, where I learned darn near everything about it, then got bored and dumped the interest just like that. Then there is that one with open carry, I mean YEARS of obsessing with that! In general, obsession with guns and gun politics...and I have the "thought OCD" as I call it, which this video seems to be about. I am constantly thinking, analyzing, picking things apart, ruminating over past events and imagining how to change them if that could be done. I have intense visual and detailed memory of much of my childhood, and I ruminate over it all the time, obsessing with different time frames. I have been on/off obsessing over why this one "friend" of mine dumped me suddenly, not wanting to have anything to do with me from the 1st day of 3rd grade and on. Was she just really mean, or did I do something? Did it have to do with when I had a separation anxiety and a partial meltdown when doing a sleepover at her house? I had to have my parents get me at like 11pm. I could not tolerate the strange surroundings. I can recall visually wood floors and when I was in her bathroom brushing my teeth. I'm 43 now and that was when I was 7.I have regular fixations too, these are like mini obsessions I guess? Floor plans, attics, spring seeps and old spring houses, old dry stacked stone walls, streams and creeks, and lately house fires/flashovers/ Station Nightclub fire. I keep watching all these fire videos. I dunno what happened there. I don't choose these dang things, they choose me. I was traumatized at age 11 about fires ( and I was obsessed with Ghostbusters then too). I guess it's time to overcome another fear.
Could you explain the difference between what the aspie experiences with obsessions and what the neurotypical experiences with obsessions and compulsions. Whether there are significant differences or not. Thank you.
good question!
I want to know that too
Why do aspergers u date spy on you? He doesn’t want to be with me for weeks at a time or call or text. I find him keeping an eye on me on my iPhone and following the places I go. He admitted after months he had aspergers on the internet but never talked to me in person about this? It’s going on 2 years. I love him with all my heart. I don’t know how to talk to him about this? He is divorced 15 years and lives under his mother. I asked her if he was bipolar when I first started seeing him? She lied to me. I think she has a huge influence on him?? I don’t know what to do? I tried dating other people and he got so angry with me. He thinks I’m his but won’t talk to me about this and tells me he doesn’t want a relationship? Why was he so upset when I was dating then? I don’t understand?
Omg I hope he doesn’t read this
One of the best video I have seen.I can relate it vvery much to me.Thanks for your efforts dude.people like you try to help poor guys like me.I request for more videoes like this.Thanks and Regards
Very helpful. Thank you for taking time to share your knowledge with the public. : )
The problem for me is that I don't have anyone to recruit to assist in problem solving, etc....Oh, and I KNOW I'm doing this.....my mind is non-stop.
Are you on the spectrum? If you'r mind is going non-stop, try this: Think of the STOP sign down the street. Keep thinking about stopping your "special interest" then visualize the STOP sign again. Repeat as necessary. Keep doing until the brain gets the message. The STOP sign technique works on some people. Try it.
Hi John, I have Asperger's (diagnosed at 47). I will give your STOP sign technique a try. Thanks!
Mary G just so you know, you DID make it to 47 ok, mostly. If anything having a label for this problem makes your decisions easier
Thank you thank you thank you I thought I was the only one or part of a very small group
Kasandra it's small but growing fast
Thanks so much, Mark. I will be implementing the strategies youve mentioned to help me with ny own obsessive thinking!
I like being obsessive... I think its beautiful
It depends what obsessions you have though, I wouldn't class some of mine as beautiful 🤐
Very helpful for me as an NT to understand my hubby better
If only i'd seen this when i was 15. better late than never i guess.
I get interested in pretty weird things like sirens or trains, but my most intense "obsessions" are with PEOPLE. It's awful. I'll stalk Facebook profiles of people who a lot of times I've talked to once or twice but don't really know that well otherwise. One time I found out so much about one person. I found their kids names and ages, their husband's name and age, their age, their parent's name, their pets names, etc. I feel like such a creep and I'm afraid that I'm accidentally going to send them a friend request or like one of their posts and then the police will get involved but I CANT STOP STALKING THEM! ARGHHHHH
Elizabeth_958 police dont know you stalk them and neither do they
Most people wont call cops because 1st they dont know your intent 2 cant prove your intent 3 your not harming them
@Birdcage Wisdom it's not that it's OK to do as such it's like a driving force that dominates a part of your life. there is no on and off switch it becomes your main thought process and not to excuse it but the majority who stalk people's Facebooks are doing so because they are living the life they want but just can't seem to have and it's interesting to see it and wonder what it feels like to be in their shoes
Dude im obsesed with finding out if i have aspergers or not but as i see more videos and more proof my obsesion is even harder and it just keeps coming back and back and i cant stop thinking about it whyy me whhyyy now i definitly think i have aspergers so yea
Xpert_Destroyer 4 stop stressing out about it. I hope I can help but here's what I know.
Nobody cares if you take the title or not. Nobody needs to know about this part of your struggle. That decision is yours alone.
BUT logically, you do share some lens with people who identify as aspies. You can say you are. Say you aren't. But either way you have that personality type.
And no matter what, someone is further down the spectrum than you, it's the nature of the spectrum. You can be an aspie, but your boss at your tech job is ten times as intense, so what do you think of yourself?
Try writing the thought down including the solution, it might reduce the overthinking
I thought I was the only one... I'm afraid to talk about my mind obsessions with anyone. At first, they told me it was gonna be ok and it will go away. But after only a few weeks my family was getting sick of me and even threatened to take me away for months on end without seeing my family. And that didn't help at all, if anything, it made it worse. It made me think that I was insane and that no one else could relate to me. I felt so lonely. And then after school came back, I felt so much better because I had something else to think about other than being miserable in the summer. After these past few months I have been succeeding in the battle of the mind. God has really helped me. The only weird thing about it is it came out of no where. If you are going through the same thing I am and are tired of being told to shut up, then that would really help.
Thanks for this. I found it very interesting.
thank you. good for all but remember co aspie's we can solve on our own on many things that we can use our logic on but if handy i always can use help, for us logic is a fast think so if it is not working as a fast fix then thats when clear thinking outside help you can get, not just a good ear or someone close but rubs like a tag..wonderful video
My son, who has been diagnosed with ADHD, was obsessed with pirates, Thomas the tank engine, then dinosaurs. Then, when he turned was in kindergarten, it was rocks and leaves. The teacher called me and said it was seriously affecting her teaching the class. I asked the neurologist for a referral to psychiatry. She diagnosed him with OCD. She added Paxil to his dexadrine, it just made him totally whacked out! He jumped from the top bunk onto the open secretary desk and broke it, scraping up his back. I have asked several times it either of my kids had Asperger's, only to have it dismissed. I have always thought that something besides ADHD was going on. My older son had terrible motor skills! He was given a word processor in fourth grade his handwriting was so bad. It still is and he's 27.
I was diagnosed with aspergers when I was 19 and am 23 now. I was also obsessed with Thomas the tank engine and when I got into my toddler years I was apparently obsessed with logs even going as far to ask for one for Christmas. I can speak fine and understand people speaking but I'm very literal and take tones of speech and facial expressions the wrong way because I simply have trouble reading them. I am also very clumsy and drop things a lot and seem to stub my toes all the time. The obsessions are quite strong and can range from a serial killer documentary to sealife and they last for months at times. Best wishes to your sons and you in the future and hopefully they get the right diagnosis if they are autistic
Thanks for the information.
obsessions are strong for me there's one thing im highly obsessed with but i wish to not discuss what it is.
This makes so much sense to me. In the end I’m always feeling suicidal
Or messing up every relationship and the person never tells you why
Can't start a relationship 😭
Jessica Berry same lmao i dated a chick FOR A DAY and she was cute
Buuut yo boi is awkward and in her words "not ready for a relationship"
@@LORDMICKEY her loss man lol
Thank you for this video.
Thank you so much for this
Here I am obsessing over obsession
Now I'm obsessing over you obsessing over obsession
I have obsessions and this is good to show people.
Wow this helps nothing ever helps but this does
My husband fixates on the many negative jobs he has had. Some of his bosses have really been horrible. I might believe that the issues were my husband's only, but I have met some of these past bosses and they were truly horrible, or his past boss had known issues with others including a good friend who worked with my husband. The point is, he has fixated for years and years.
Hi. I have ASD and didn't find out about it until the 30th year of my career. I can identify with him and the obsessing over horrible bosses. I had many. Thank God, I was able to retire in 2015!
If only my husband could retire. He's 57, and due to a layoff four years ago, are still digging out. We moved and had to sell our home. We moved back, to our former town, but had to get a larger home to accommodate an adult child and her family who have been living with us. He will never retire. He thinks his only hope is to win the lottery, or God intervenes. He works with wonderful people, but gets very discouraged when he sees them retire with huge pensions due to military, and playing the stock market, things like that. When he hears that, he just gets discouraged and at times depressed. I'm so tired of hearing about the past, and reliving it.
I am happy for your retirement!
Thanks for upload.
I have a friend who has Autism/aspergers. He is absolutely obsessed with the Army. He wasn't aloud to join due to his mental health and is now planning to travel to Syria to fight with the YPG. I'm trying to talk him out of it but due to his obsession he keeps talking about it and planning. What should I do?
Call the police
This is me all over I am high function classic autism I collect figures
thank you so much for the information I have a 13yr son and its very difficult
I think that normal people can just ignore a problem for a couple weeks and their life will change so radically in that time they won't know what happened, so they just shrug and say that they decided to have a positive attitude and to stop worrying and that things tend to work out.
That doesn't work for me. I can't just relax for a bit and let my social relationships relax.
How do these obsessions manifest? Mine are weird. It can be a part of a song I just heard, constantly replaying in my head, stopping me from sleeping. It can be an object that I keep reading about until I buy it, even if I do not need it. It can be a place in the world or a hobby to do. These do not seem to be pathological to me as rarely are there compulsions to it... I never end up buying that thing!
What if it's things you can't control like repeating the same thing a million times over
Jessica Berry well tell people to shut the fuck up when you talk i know i stutter and restart whole sentences complusively when i get interrupted
Use a thesaurus
all relies on TRUST that's the PROBLEM
My video in my head is my mother and when I'm away I don't have those thoughts but how can problem solved when she wont let me do things on my alone away from her. It's stay at home and do chore while she in my personal space breathing down my neck.
Christina B. try 2 sit her down & tell her how u feel. If it's 2 hard in person then write her a letter :)
Now days she not on my team. You only as good as your weakest link. She is just a roommate
This is me!! But i'm obsessed with the thought of being obsessed. The ruminating is me! The; why do people do this to me... this and that.
But is there more information on Asperger's and OD?
Is this an official combo with asperger's?
Please answers, or I'll get more obsessed.
What if an aspie is obsessed with aspergers? LOL
Then that aspie has a need to know about who they are and how they function, and I'd think that is a good thing, as long as s/he uses that obsession to inspire themselves to find their strength, and move forward as an able individual -- and not use their own autism/asperger's as an excuse not to try, and not to fight for themselves.
Yeah, can that happen? Is it possible
Sure, I am.
I dated a guy with Aspergers. He didn't tell me he had it until he started having meltdowns at me for silly things that would be insignificant to most neurotypical people. I continued dating him for a few more months and tried to learn as much about Aspergers and autism as I could so that I could understand him, but I ultimately ended it because I couldn't deal with how self-centered he was. I was willing to do so much for him to accommodate his needs and go along with him to do the activities HE wanted to do, but was never given that same level of reciprocity aside from when we were in the first few weeks of dating when he was working hard at "passing" as NT and mimicking normal social behaviour. I would never, ever, ever, EVER date another Aspie again. They are like aliens. All the repetitiveness and obsession. I know people will say "don't let the experiences with one turn you against them all" - but I believe that neurotypical people and Autistics are too different in their style of relating to each other to have mutually satisfying, reciprocal relationships. Relationships with them will always be one-sided. And they won't ever change, because they aren't capable of it. And that's the sad reality.
It's a spectrum, if you have met one person with autism, you have met ONE person with autism. If you end up dating a self centered neurotypical will you give up dating neurotypicals? If you haven't met one, I assure you they are out there!
Cobra Prince I'm sorry to say that if aspies don't try in relationships "because their syndrome dictates their behavior" then it is infuriating! If an aspie is born that way, it's not their fault BUT it's still infuriating! Aspies are just dealt a shitty card in life by being born with a different brain that NT people. As an NT female dating a man with Asperger's with a very strong understanding of the disorder, it does become infuriating. It's just as much the aspies job to accept the NT as much as the NT accepts the aspie and honeslty they don't act like they give a damn. If it's one-sided then it's one-sided, syndrome or not.
Veronica Renee if they're being one sided they dont realize it. You need to communicate where they fall short because they arent aware of it. Its helped me alter my behavior in the past.
It never occurs to nt's that aspies are a tiny minority and live their entire lives in a one sided world that rarely reciprocates and acts like they don't give a damn..and its inescapable.
Aspies have different personalities you know. Like NTS are also sometimes self obsessed. I've been in over 2 year long relationships but I probably wasn't obsessed with my self because I didn't know I had it. I think what really bothers you is the fact that you're a girl/ woman and you're not used to not being the one obsessed over by others and by yourself. You are innately self centered and can't deal with it the other way round.