Do you hate making certain phone calls? You may not know that this could be connected to your hidden ADHD. Learn about how phone anxiety affects those with Hidden ADHD.
The judgement from relatives is overwhelmingly. If I want to withdraw for a few days they can’t tolerate it. Get angry and keep calling. I don’t answer because I don’t want to think or speak after a stressful exhausting week. I sleep for two days straight just to recover enough to get through another week. I don’t have the energy or brain power to pretend that my life is going great when it isn’t. I can’t complain because they try to nullify my feelings and experiences instead of simply listening and just being supportive. It’s annoying so I put off returning their call until I have the energy to deal with the chastisement and pretend like everything is wonderful. If I could just text them I’d be happy, but they’re old school and like calling. 🤦🏾♀️
Thank you , Thank you, Thank you! I can’t even believe I came across this video😧🤭 45 years old. Phone phobia 💯 Never would have correlated it with ADHD. Never… ⭐️
Even though I have inattentive type, I am the star phone person at our house. It is my spouse who has issues with business type calls. I am pretty sure he either has Aspbergers, ADD or both. I do have trouble getting around to calling friends. Once I am on the phone I could talk all day, but I tend to put off casual calling. I dread hearing from friends and family sometimes because there is always some kind of drama in their lives that is overwhelming to me. And yet I am a good listener and enjoy helping them in another way. I am social in one way but very reclusive in another. I have learned to say no to things I can't handle or have no interest in. I have learned also to let things go through years of spiritual practice.
At first I was like..phone calls related to those I love..nah I’m good. Then he gave the example about the restaurant...literally nothing has been more relatable than this. 😂😭
I don't know what causes the issue for me but what makes it worse for me is my dad knows I have this issue but several times now when people phone like family members - aunties/uncles/older cousins (I don't have cousins my age, some of my cousins are old enough to be my parents, and some live abroad (my dad is from a different country) and I don't know them too well) and they aren't even phoning to talk to me he has done the following: 1) if they do ask him how I am on the call he has said "oh she's here, do you want to talk to her..?" and then TOLD me to talk to them. I always refuse. Which then makes me feel bad, I feel they think I've rejected them, I'm a bad person, rude, or weird. 2) even if they don't ask about me he has told them I'm in the room and told me to talk to them, I refuse. Same as above... 3) when I leave the room when the house phone rings, or when he tried to suddenly force me to talk to them he will tell the person on the phone (who did not even call to speak to me) "Ohh she's left the room", "she's running away", "Ohh she doesn't want to talk to you" and (when I'm not even there, I've gone upstairs he'll say to them in the phone but like he's talking to me/shouting to me)"you could've taken the opportunity to talk but you're running off", mocking me, laughing, being sarcastic, tutting, using "disappointed" tone. 4) again, when this person has not called for me, and has not asked to speak to me he suggest it and then when I shake my head or leave the room he told them I've got phone phobia and laughs about it. All these things cause huge rows afterwards and make me so upset and angry. It happened 2 days ago him telling them I'm running away, when they didn't even phone for me and I was already leaving the room to get away from him because I was in a bad mood that day and he was annoying me. I cried and really hated him for that, because I really love the cousin that was on the phone and as well as him causing fear and humiliation in me, I don't want her feelings toward me/relationship with me to be damaged by his A-Hole behaviour. So upsetting when he knows about how I feel, I guess he doesn't understand it and wants to force me but I have paralyzing fear and I don't know what I'd talk to them about anyway, I have nothing to talk about. If they invite me to go somewhere I don't want to go I can't say no. They'll ask me what I've been doing and I've been doing nothing, or what I've been doing will be boring to them. Or they'll ask if I have a job and I don't atm. It's just embarrassing. I feel like I don't know how to have like a phone chat, I could talk endlessly (only face-to-face, or text/email) about serious or interesting topics that I personally have an interest in.
I am sorry that you have to stand such a non supportive behavior from your dad. Explain your situation to the people you care about most and try texting instead. Bare in mind that not everyone is going to understand, just keep near you the ones who do. Nobody is coming to save you, that's the ugly truth you have to do it for yourself because you deserve it. Love yourself, be kind to yourself and listen to yourself. It's ok if others don't understand (especially your family) It's your life, your story so go and make the best of it 😉🙃
thank you for this video...it makes me feel so much better !! i got yelled at and called dumb so many times in my life for exact this issue, which always made me even more avoidant. (yelling at me never worked to better myself). your tips are very helpful, thank you :)
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I exactly have this problem phone anxiety. Not only phone anxiety but asking for favor I cannot do it it makes me nervous. I always worried to be humiliated and rejected. If I said something to someone that for me is a favor or fighting for my self I get so paranoid and cannot stop thinking if what I ask or what I said is bad.
I have this problem really acutely. But I don't think I am afraid of criticism. It's more that I'll be blindsided by a curveball and won't know how to make decisions on the fly. Or something like that.
For me this goes way beyond phone calls, I have a completely irrational phobia of any judgment anyone could do at any of me, which avoid me from talking to people and I end up isolating myself and having a lot of FOMO from everything. I wanna do so many things people is doing, I wanna easily relax and have fun and enjoy de the moment like them but I'm terrified of what people might think of me. Is this social Anxiety instead or Innatentive AHAD, I'm confused because al of the symptoms of both match so much with me.
@@JohnAdams-ks4qo What it is is rejection sensitive dysphoria, which looks very similar but is specifically linked to ADHD. The means of coping commonly ends up becoming avoidant personality disorder.
I just started a new job and have to call policy holders to make appointments for certain cases, 3 now have gone overdue because of my hesitation, I have 10 calls I need to make and just can't bring myself to do it. Playing the convo out in my mind helps, and a push from my boss (a friendly push lol) got me to do one so far, but jfc idk why it's so difficult to do this. I'm trying to seperate my personal self and go into "Business mode" but it's not working...maybe if I had an actual office and got into a uniform or something. Wear the part ya know?
For me my problem is professional phone call and voice mail I get so scared I can't even speak proper sentences half the time personal phone calls depending on how well I know the person aren't so bad and I'm really bad with applying to jobs and job interviews I would have full blown break downs b4 job interviews and then when I got there I would say either something stupid or I wouldn't be able to talk straight I'm not as bad now since practice makes perfect and I've had a few jobs but when I was younger it was horrible
Omg I thought I was the only person in the world that had this problem ! Thankyou i’m not alone !
The judgement from relatives is overwhelmingly. If I want to withdraw for a few days they can’t tolerate it. Get angry and keep calling. I don’t answer because I don’t want to think or speak after a stressful exhausting week. I sleep for two days straight just to recover enough to get through another week. I don’t have the energy or brain power to pretend that my life is going great when it isn’t. I can’t complain because they try to nullify my feelings and experiences instead of simply listening and just being supportive. It’s annoying so I put off returning their call until I have the energy to deal with the chastisement and pretend like everything is wonderful. If I could just text them I’d be happy, but they’re old school and like calling. 🤦🏾♀️
This helped immensely! I have had anxiety about making and receiving calls for many years and couldn’t understand why, thank you so much.
I have been wondering what my problem is.. maybe this is why?? Wow..I just get anxiety and have to try to get in the right frame of mind.
Thank you , Thank you, Thank you!
I can’t even believe I came across this video😧🤭
45 years old. Phone phobia 💯 Never would have correlated it with ADHD.
Never…
⭐️
Because it seems So irrational, even for me.
Even though I have inattentive type, I am the star phone person at our house. It is my spouse who has issues with business type calls. I am pretty sure he either has Aspbergers, ADD or both. I do have trouble getting around to calling friends. Once I am on the phone I could talk all day, but I tend to put off casual calling. I dread hearing from friends and family sometimes because there is always some kind of drama in their lives that is overwhelming to me. And yet I am a good listener and enjoy helping them in another way. I am social in one way but very reclusive in another. I have learned to say no to things I can't handle or have no interest in. I have learned also to let things go through years of spiritual practice.
I have phone anxiety! I did not know it was associated with my ADHD!
I had this exact problem... but once on meds, it became soooo, much easier. It was amazing.
I am having a serious problem with this at work atm, it’s really spiralled and I needed to hear this. I cried at the end, ffs
At first I was like..phone calls related to those I love..nah I’m good. Then he gave the example about the restaurant...literally nothing has been more relatable than this. 😂😭
I don't know what causes the issue for me but what makes it worse for me is my dad knows I have this issue but several times now when people phone like family members - aunties/uncles/older cousins (I don't have cousins my age, some of my cousins are old enough to be my parents, and some live abroad (my dad is from a different country) and I don't know them too well) and they aren't even phoning to talk to me he has done the following: 1) if they do ask him how I am on the call he has said "oh she's here, do you want to talk to her..?" and then TOLD me to talk to them. I always refuse. Which then makes me feel bad, I feel they think I've rejected them, I'm a bad person, rude, or weird. 2) even if they don't ask about me he has told them I'm in the room and told me to talk to them, I refuse. Same as above... 3) when I leave the room when the house phone rings, or when he tried to suddenly force me to talk to them he will tell the person on the phone (who did not even call to speak to me) "Ohh she's left the room", "she's running away", "Ohh she doesn't want to talk to you" and (when I'm not even there, I've gone upstairs he'll say to them in the phone but like he's talking to me/shouting to me)"you could've taken the opportunity to talk but you're running off", mocking me, laughing, being sarcastic, tutting, using "disappointed" tone. 4) again, when this person has not called for me, and has not asked to speak to me he suggest it and then when I shake my head or leave the room he told them I've got phone phobia and laughs about it. All these things cause huge rows afterwards and make me so upset and angry. It happened 2 days ago him telling them I'm running away, when they didn't even phone for me and I was already leaving the room to get away from him because I was in a bad mood that day and he was annoying me. I cried and really hated him for that, because I really love the cousin that was on the phone and as well as him causing fear and humiliation in me, I don't want her feelings toward me/relationship with me to be damaged by his A-Hole behaviour. So upsetting when he knows about how I feel, I guess he doesn't understand it and wants to force me but I have paralyzing fear and I don't know what I'd talk to them about anyway, I have nothing to talk about. If they invite me to go somewhere I don't want to go I can't say no. They'll ask me what I've been doing and I've been doing nothing, or what I've been doing will be boring to them. Or they'll ask if I have a job and I don't atm. It's just embarrassing. I feel like I don't know how to have like a phone chat, I could talk endlessly (only face-to-face, or text/email) about serious or interesting topics that I personally have an interest in.
I am sorry that you have to stand such a non supportive behavior from your dad.
Explain your situation to the people you care about most and try texting instead.
Bare in mind that not everyone is going to understand, just keep near you the ones who do.
Nobody is coming to save you, that's the ugly truth you have to do it for yourself because you deserve it.
Love yourself, be kind to yourself and listen to yourself.
It's ok if others don't understand (especially your family)
It's your life, your story so go and make the best of it 😉🙃
This is so real.
thank you for this video...it makes me feel so much better !! i got yelled at and called dumb so many times in my life for exact this issue, which always made me even more avoidant. (yelling at me never worked to better myself). your tips are very helpful, thank you :)
I exactly have this problem phone anxiety. Not only phone anxiety but asking for favor I cannot do it it makes me nervous. I always worried to be humiliated and rejected. If I said something to someone that for me is a favor or fighting for my self I get so paranoid and cannot stop thinking if what I ask or what I said is bad.
THANK YOU ... now i understand why making seemingly easy phone calls are such a pain in the ass to get started on .... on my way to the psychiatrist
I seldom make any calls unless extremely important, family phone calls or even visiting, not because I have any negative issues with them at all…
I have this problem really acutely. But I don't think I am afraid of criticism. It's more that I'll be blindsided by a curveball and won't know how to make decisions on the fly. Or something like that.
I know this so well!! 😅 Very helpful, just discovered your ADD related videos today, they are brilliant! 👌
For me this goes way beyond phone calls, I have a completely irrational phobia of any judgment anyone could do at any of me, which avoid me from talking to people and I end up isolating myself and having a lot of FOMO from everything. I wanna do so many things people is doing, I wanna easily relax and have fun and enjoy de the moment like them but I'm terrified of what people might think of me. Is this social Anxiety instead or Innatentive AHAD, I'm confused because al of the symptoms of both match so much with me.
Daniel Castillo Reynoso it’s more social anxiety symptoms my dude
@@JohnAdams-ks4qo What it is is rejection sensitive dysphoria, which looks very similar but is specifically linked to ADHD. The means of coping commonly ends up becoming avoidant personality disorder.
Sounds like me
Sounds like me
I just started a new job and have to call policy holders to make appointments for certain cases, 3 now have gone overdue because of my hesitation, I have 10 calls I need to make and just can't bring myself to do it. Playing the convo out in my mind helps, and a push from my boss (a friendly push lol) got me to do one so far, but jfc idk why it's so difficult to do this. I'm trying to seperate my personal self and go into "Business mode" but it's not working...maybe if I had an actual office and got into a uniform or something. Wear the part ya know?
Rejection sensitivity dysphoria 😢
Courageous living.
For me my problem is professional phone call and voice mail I get so scared I can't even speak proper sentences half the time personal phone calls depending on how well I know the person aren't so bad and I'm really bad with applying to jobs and job interviews I would have full blown break downs b4 job interviews and then when I got there I would say either something stupid or I wouldn't be able to talk straight I'm not as bad now since practice makes perfect and I've had a few jobs but when I was younger it was horrible
Same
Thank you so much😞
Wow! I was just diagnosed I’m 57!
Accurate.