coffee with gloom | ep. 1 ✸ answering a lot of autism questions lol
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- čas přidán 2. 03. 2023
- open me for info/links! ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ
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✸ links:
www.megan-rhiannon.com/shop
twitter & ig: @petite_gloom
/ petite_gloom
✸ contact: meganrhiannonillustration@gmail.com
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✸ music:
damien sebe - cherries - thmatc.co/?l=FF2EB755
a question i forgot to mention was a request for other cosy autistic channels- i don’t think i know any off the top of my head, but if you do please comment them below! 🙇🏻♀️
Allisonpaiges is one of my favourite channels! She’s also talks about the tumultuous journey of her chronic migraines
Allisonpaiges is one of my favorite cozy creators! She does book / reading content 🥰 she was also late diagnosed ❤️
Darling Desi if you're into books cottagecore and the Gilmore Girls. She identifies as neurodivergent.
For people with a special interest in journalling/stationery/fountain pens, Justus Space is always a go-to for me!
I just checked Allisonpaiges and Desi and if anyone interested I can say that they are far from "chill" and very overly positive and active and "cheery". Ain't exactly "cosy autistic" imho. Just saying it here so u won't have to waste ur time if that's not ur cup of tea
Megan's exceptionally cool Dad…👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
he’s literally the best
nice video, i'll love to have more coffees together ❤🩹. also, your dad telling you "austism? please, elaborate your theory" instead of not listening or denying it, he is the authentic hero ✨. support from parents as a child is very important, it has so much repercussion in our adult life. finally, sharing that same wish as yours 🏡
Being scared of teenagers is incredibly relatable. I'm 19 and autistic and I get extreme dread and anxiety around teens, but this even extends to most children. I think most of my trauma from growing up undiagnosed started all the way in preschool, but around age 7 is where mistreatment from other kids really picked up. I'm an adult who feels threatened by... younger people. I guess I am stuck in the loop of thinking I'm that age and that I can be hurt still. Doesn't help that I have so many issues with age regression.
I really appreciate you doing this kind of Q&A. As someone who is neurodivergent but not diagnosed until 24, I think its really important for people to share their real life experiences so people can recognize themselves in it instead of the colder clinical descriptions. You're channel has actually really helped me with my own understanding of my brain and is such a huge comfort channel for me. I'm pretty sure I've watched all your videos over 10x. They make me feel less crazy in my own experiences because I get to see someone walk through life the same way I do. All that being said, I can tell this is going to be a v tough video for me to watch because of how relatable it is for me so I'm probably going to take it in chunks.
Thank you for continuing to post and be so open about your experiences!
The “I was a dog so I was being a dog” is so real 😂 In primary school I got in trouble for kicking my classmate because I was playing being a ninja (he actively told me to kick him too lol)🤷♂️ Teacher saw and wouldn’t hear me out :/
Okay but also I love that your dream is to have a calm punk house
I relate so much to the « not having that many real life friends » thing… I’m always scared that if I lose the few friends I have I will end up alone… but it’s so hard to maintain, and especially to make new friends as you get older! I also have a very short social battery and just don’t need to socialize that much.
I relate so much to your diagnosis journey and struggles. I got diagnosed this year, 18 years old, with ADHD and autism.
It’s an insane experience, especially in a family of neurotypicals/not getting checked because they don’t need to.
I was assessed in the late 2000s and was told the same as you, she’s shy, bookish, can’t read social cues, although I was extremely talkative, still am most of the time. I got diagnosed with a panic disorder that I didn’t have, menstrual migraines that were actually stress based and saw 3 therapists, the last of which was the only to suggest getting assessed for neurodiversity.
I’m in a much better place right now, (first day with ADHD meds actually) and I’m lucky to have an amazing friend group (mainly fellow queer or neurodiverse people) and I’m hoping to move to uni next year. Thanks for sharing your story, it really made me feel seen.
Wow extremely relatable (except being 18 lol)
I'm 21 now but I also went through the same thing at 18
The thing about it being difficult to make friends as an adult is very, very true. For a time after school I lived in Washington DC because I was a Big Kid Journalist out there and the publication was incredibly teeny tiny. So I kinda futzed around for 8/9 months with all my friends halfway across the country in Iowa and one girl I met midway through my time there at a networking event.
Ultimately, I moved back to Iowa to be closer to friends that are family to me and I don't regret it. Sometimes my gremlin brain wants to admonish me for giving up ~the life~ I was leaving in DC for moving back to Iowa, but it's taken a long time for me to come to terms with the fact that I was profoundly, deeply unhappy while I lived there. Things aren't perfect now, things will never be perfect, but they're certainly leaps and bounds better and I feel like that's all we can hope for.
I started my autism diagnosis journey after watching your videos. I didn't even know what it could be like for an adult, especially female, so it wasn't anywhere on my radar for all the issues I grew up with. Then I saw your videos and thought "wait, this sounds really familiar."
So thank you for the vibes, thank you for all of your content, I love them all and they are a great comfort. 💞
Megan is the first person that I related to on like a deep level. Turns out it was because I was autistic too. So, thank you Megan for being the person that made things “click” for me. ❤️
I got diagnosed in 2021 by the way. So, I got a lot of stuff to learn about lil
Ooooh my god, the e-mail thing. I relate so much. The fact that you work up the courage to reply to an e-mail and if you're really unlucky the answer comes immediately and you have to write another e-mail - awful. It's like a hydra.
I found this so interesting and insightful. Thank you for sharing. My daughter is 5 and was just diagnosed with autism through her school and they have helped her so much. Everyday I’m so proud of everything she has accomplished. I love your wish and it made me think maybe I should make a sensory corner in her bedroom. Again, thank you for sharing. 💕
Thank you this was really comforting I appreciate you taking the time to make this :-)) I have the same ultimate dream of just getting to have a space that is stress free of the hanging specter of financial obligations, so it was nice to hear that someone else understands the struggle that would be alleviated by just getting to have a place that is truly your own. I hope you have a good week!
Literally sitting down right now to update my books and looking for a video to keep as company when the most blessed notification popped up 😩🙏✨
Thank you for putting this together and just telling parts of your journey. I'm not autistic, but I appreciate getting a more candid perspective of what others went through. If only just to learn and understand others better in the future.
I don't think you ever overshared.
The concept of "oversharing" is something I do not understand. It is just your truth, you tell something how it is for you. It's honest. I like "oversharing" more than some hollow words/sentences that were a waste of my time. I get so mad when somebody asks me "How do you do?" 🤬 A "hello" is enough, it's nice enough - more than that is most likely not honest or you would not have the time to really talk with me about how I am 😮💨
I love your honesty!😊
Thank you. Another person who feels the way I do.
Elementary is literally my special interest and i am so happy that you like it
The most superior Sherlock adaptation
trying to redirect my life after struggling with college. I have autism/adhd (late diagnosed last year) and bipolar disorder. My manic and depressive episodes and social isolation got me hospitalized a year or two into college and it’s just been a down hill life since then… Thankfully I am now fully aware of all my diagnoses at 23.. just getting back into life and deciding what to do while staying stable is the hard part.
So excited for this one! 💕💕
Megan, thank you very much for answering my question. You are such a lovely human and I apologize if my question was a tough one. I really appreciate what you had to say and I hope you have a lovely day/week. ❤ 👻
fuck. its so difficult. hearing you talk about struggling keeping a job, the lack of support...its so hard to survive here.
i have the same thing in jobs where i work and work until im overcome with panic, dread, thoughts of suicide and physical signs of stress. if i look at it objectively its because i get so overwhelmed that my body and mind starts shutting down.
it helps to hear you talk in that it gives me a sense of solidarity. it shouldn't be this way and its terrifying that it is. most of us struggling don't speak in a public setting, i appreciate that you do. just so these common experiences autistic people have don't seem so totally alien and it also eases the feelings of guilt for not keeping up.
Sorry if i'm really inarticulate, im on my period and typing through fuzzy brain.
Omg if I wasn’t on the other side of the world, I would do your emails for you! I would ask you to make all the decisions, then do all the actual emailing for you
I had missed the coffee with gloom videos so much!!!
Daffodils just give me so much reassurance in spring! 😊💛
OMG coffee with gloom! taking me back, I always loved this series back in the day, just comfy chat times
So happy you posted 💕
just before I even watch: I appreciate every single video you upload, no matter what form it takes ❤
I am 25 and was only diagnosed with ADHD late last year, and I also am now thinking that I am autistic as well. I know that for a really long time you couldn’t get both diagnosed, and unfortunately where I live getting a proper autism diagnosis just like, wouldn’t do anything? My psychiatrist was like “the only way to get a real adult diagnosis would be this super expensive neurotherapy that isn’t covered by insurance, and then you won’t actually get any government benefits” so we’ve both agreed to just work with my self-diagnosis and just deal with the things that can be dealt with, like my ADHD and migraines (it’s like we’re trauma twins I love it 😬) but it’s still super overwhelming to look back at my childhood with a new lens and see all of the super clear signs that I’m autistic and them all just being swept under the rug because I was quiet and also Gifted™️ so all of my ND issues weren’t addressed until I was having crippling anxiety attacks in my early teens. I was very lucky to graduate high school because I missed so many days from my migraines that I was in serious danger of being held back to repeat a couple of years, I always scraped by through the skin of my teeth because I had very severe academic anxiety and couldn’t deal with the idea of failure 😅 so yeah, there’s my trauma dump lol. I really love your videos, they help me a ton with recognizing and understanding my tics and triggers. I love that you have this outlet and that you’re able to speak about this kind of stuff, even though it’s hard sometimes. You give me hope that I can get to where you’re at!
It's just amazing the courage you have to put so much of you into the world. thank you ❤❤
this is such a good comforting video! thanks for sharing your journey
sick and quite stressed right now, this video was just what I needed (and I could listen to you even for longer tbh), so thank you very much for being the little spot of comfort in these trying times
I’m so grateful you posted a really long video today. I needed 45 minutes of quiet time with my noise canceling headphones.
so excited to get cozy and journal while i listen to this, i love your videos so much, they're so comforting!
I just got home from a long day at work and was so happy to see this little present at the top of my feed. Thank you for your honesty, I look forward to all of your videos but the talking segments and videos are always a treat ❤
This video unexpectedly hit hard!! Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! It's rough but it does help to know others have made it through. Take care. LOVE your videos
thank you so much for answering my question, when you made the post asking for them I had just had one of my Bad Days where I actually managed to drive to work then couldn't get out of my car. finding your channel has been a blessing honestly, I come here whenever I can for comfort. so thank you for making the videos you do.
the sherlock is garbage video is also a great one to watch I'm so glad you brought it up! when my boyfriend recommended it too me I was super unsure about watching it as a fan of the show but I actually agree with what he had to say (for the most part)
anyway, I wish a wonderful day or night on whoever actually reads this!
So many emotions watching this! Especially when you were talking about school ( the mummification vs Spice Girls was so relatable, it was like you read my mind) . I found your videos when I was researching autism after I got a diagnosis for another condition and that + the Stationery kept me watching and it's helped me understand a lot and feel less uncomfortable with myself. ❤️🩹
this set-up is actually so nice and i had a lot of fun listening to you talk. also, you answered my question!
I appreciate you, thanks for sharing with us. I struggle with unmasking & listening to your vulnerability gives me courage.
this video was exceptionally helpful and informative, as someone who suffers alot with mental health issues it really helped especially on burnout and looking after yourself...thank you so much for putting this together Megan 🦇
Thank you for sharing so much with us. I find your videos so comforting and so relatable that my spouse had to ask how you were doing this week, even though he doesn’t watch your videos. I find I relate a lot to people who are autistic, and sometimes I wonder if I’m autistic myself (along with my daughter). I’ve been told by therapists that my symptoms of autism are probably from trauma rather than autism, but I still wonder sometimes. Either way, your channel is so relatable to me and I find it so comforting to have someone to watch and listen to that I can relate to. Thank you for being real with us and sharing so much of your life. I truly, sincerely appreciate it so much.
I’ve been in a season of burnout and your videos have been helping me so much! I’ve been through a lot of change recently and I really resonated with your desire for a home. Whenever people ask me what I want in the future I always say I home too. A place that’s my own. Sending you love and rest 💕
as a fellow autistic person this was so comforting and really appreciate this video - as beautifully put by others, it was so relatable and feels so soul fulfilling to feel seen. thank you
cant believe ive been following you around on the internet for so long, just remembering the coffee with gloom videos :)
The entire aesthetic of your desk 👌🏻👌🏻✨
Appreciate the candid answers☺️ also I feel like I hear a lot of stories revolving around a kind of moral degrading of one’s character out of a complete misunderstanding of the way you function (by adults and teachers), perhaps not always with ill intend but still.. the damage it can do is absolutely huge
Bring on the gloom! I'm working (badly) on my PhD today & this video is just what I need. (Autistic ADHD here ☺️🌿)
hey friend! also autistic and ADHD PhD student here
AuDHD studying for LSAT while working full-time! We've got this! 🙌
good luck!!
very likely autistic and also working on a PhD. We can do this!
I am fond of your honesty and it hits home, it's not that we don't want achievements and goals, it's that our energy is inconsistent, finding accommodation for that is a task, and communicating it just as difficult
I relate to struggling with friends/games/rules in early primary school and then more or less hitting my stride in later primary school. In early primary school, other girls would alternately try to include/exclude me from their little clubs and games depending on whether I was fitting in well enough, and I had trouble recognizing when either one was happening (which was also part of the problem).
Also relate to being terrified of emails and other work-related correspondence (and social).
Thank you for sharing your experience realizing it was autism all along. I’m chronically ill, late diagnosed adhd, and pursuing the elusive adult autism diagnosis currently. I had never connected the migraines I experienced in high school and university with autism but I knew personally it was sensory so thank you for helping me connect those dots more clearly!
Wow - wonderful video. So many things to think about. Thank you Megan! ❤
I've just been diagnosed, at the age of 38, watching your videos for the past several years have helped me getting clear on wanting to get an evaluation. Thank you for being honest about your condition and sharing, it really helped me along the way
it's really interesting to hear you talk about your childhood and autism journey from someone else who is also in the uk and has to suffer with dealing with the nhs and how incompetent they are, as well as the school system. Looking back on my childhood there are so many red flags that should of been picked up on but never were, but at least with getting older it becomes a bit easier to manage and accept being neurodivergent. also your dad sounds amazing!
Thank you for a nice and wholesome video. I was listening while illustrating, and I can with certainty say that I might be an undiagnosed autistic, as an adult. The similarities and struggles resembles so much, and I have a hard time coping some days. I will take some of these advices you share with me, and maybe it will feel less lonely knowing there are more people out there experiencing the same things.
i dont often comment on youtube videos (i get shy! lol) but i just had to let you know that you had me laughing out loud when you were talking about rdj and jude law's sherlock and john, going "i would like to see them kiss". i also got deep into bbc sherlock and was involved on tumblr (thank god, not part of That Side, but i sure did see quite a lot of drama) and loved the drawings you did of autistic sherlock. loving your videos and so excited for your continuing progress in life
loved this video you inspire me to be a neurodivergent content creator and I swear listening to your life story feels like hearing very similar things to what I experienced growing up so thank you for sharing it makes me feel less alone in a world I feel very isolated in
I'm not done watching the video yet, but I'm relating really strongly to what you've been saying about everything but specifically migraines. It was more short-lived in my life than yours but affected me so much. I don't have an autism diagnosis (yet?) but am definitely neurodivergent and have PTSD, and I am still figuring that out. Appreciate all that you're talking about. :)
Coffee is the very best drink in the world, I probably medicate my adhd traits with the stuff. This is excellent content.
the fear of the emails is *the most relatable thing*. This is literally how I was just before I burnt myself out and got signed off for 3 months. Couldn't even open my inbox without panic attacks.
"always operating in minus" 😅. see you. feel you. thanks for sharing so much about yourself and your experience Megan.
As someone who has a lot of shame around my past, autistically-fueled outbursts or "ghosting", you candor comes across as extremely courageous.
Thanks for always bring your experience to the forefront for people unfamiliar with this experience, or only having a negative view of autistic people.
Thanks megan😊 this is really good and I appreciate the video and the detail you shared about your experiences…it meant the world for me today. You really inspire me in my everyday..currently doodling my gratitudes daily hoping to one day make something to share a bit like you have created somehow.
Future suggestion. For a video: I’d be interested in how you film and edit and what equipment you use for someone with no experience.
I genuinely loved this video, thank you for answering my question about friendships! Also we share exactly the same dream about having a permanent home ✨️ Sending you love ❤️
Thanks for the great Q and A and sharing your expriences and insights. The video was very informative and helpful. Liked what you said about having a home we can call all our own at the end.
This was relaxing and interesting. Thank you
Thanks for doing this Q&A. I adore bbc Sherlock I’ve rewatch it all the time but I’ll have to check out elementary. 🖤
loving the hbomb shoutout i've watched that video so many times haha
Your channel is so comforting. I could listen to you for hours.
I got diagnosed with autism at the age of 34, am now 41 and still struggling.
Love the Sisters of Mercy, too ❤❤❤
My parents didn’t or don’t really validate my mental health so now I’m stuck undiagnosed with adhd and most probably being autistic too which sucks cos I just really wanna get clarity and I tried funding my own diagnosis like you did and failed. I relate with the sensory issues especially headaches, eye stuff and more and I also have dyscalculia but I also saw that recently that was connected to be autistic and so many things from my childhood scream being autistic. Manifesting I get clarity and an adult diagnosis, also when I was a kid my parents didn’t even clock how I used to make zines about everything about cats like literally so much information about them and my meltdowns were the worst too
I was not expecting this when I opened my yt :"""") a
bless
That joy of hearing the familiar beat set in c:
We wish you all the best, Megan. May God bless you each step of the way.
Great video and thank you for all the sharing, it's so helpful for many of us. What you said about your migraine disorder was so validating. I was also Sick (tm) as a teenager with frequent migraines. I did grow out of it in my twenties thankfully but started again during the second trimester of pregnancy! Close to the birth now so hopefully it'll stop again... I think I am neurodivergent as well but only really realising it now in my thirties...
Such a great video, thanks for sharing
yesss BBC Sherlock!!! I kind of thought that would be your answer, even though i didn't KNOW know. Haven't seen the 'why its bad' video, bc its too long and I doubt anything would be able to convince me that my favourite show and special interest is bad. I agree that its not perfect, there are loose ends and inconsistencies and stuff, but still, its witty, its funny, it has great characters that undergo development, it has great visuals, its emotional, has fantastic actors, and tv wouldn't be the same without it. I get the resentment that some people have, but I don't think it deserves the hate it gets for example on tumblr. But anyway, doesn't matter, I am glad you've mentioned it and think about it with sentiment :)
you skate! me too!! i agree that kids/teens are scary. i like to go during school hours to avoid kids and occasionally meet with girl groups/queer groups. however, skating alone can be really fulfilling and its a sport which can easily be done alone. Rodney Mullen pretty much exclusively skates alone and that seems to be all he needs.
thank you for talking about your experiences. Growing up undiagnosed is so difficult as is living in the world.
I'm a bit sad that you didn't answer my question but the other were useful so thank you for answering those
i feel the exact same about teenagers lol
You reminded me that I've been wanting to watch Elementary for a long time, so here I am watching it. Somehow, I thought that Lucy Liu was going to be Sherlock!
Thanks Megan. Having been with you since the Cambridge days a lot of your biography isn't exactly new to me, but there it is, in one video. Upsetting stuff, but I have to say that between you, your dad and your brother you're a very cool self-supporting bubble in an unsympathetic world.
Now, on to your funny ideas about Sherlock Holmes. :-) For me Jeremy Brett is definitive on TV, but I think Clive Merrison is his equivalent on radio, with Michael Williams and then Andrew Sachs as Dr Watson. Happily most if not all of the episodes are available on CZcams, and I recommend them unreservedly to anybody. BBC Sherlock ... well, you've got your reasons, and Una Stubbs was the best Mrs Hudson ever.
Im Very Overstimmulated atm so im glad i can listen to your voice while i sufferTM.
Lol this kind of cheered me up, I just got out of my triaging (it was terrible and i broke down crying)
BBC and Granada Holmes!!! The one Granada screencap where John is just chillin in the window and smellin the flowers kills me😭I love finding people with the same special interests... it's hard not to be able to chat with people about it. 🤝🔍I've never seen Elementary or the RDJ movies, so I'll have to do that. But I am not a fan of change lol so we'll see how it goes. Anyways, thanks for making me immediately happy-stim at the sound of his name lol
as mikey way once said, "teenagers scare the living shit out of me". And as a someone who is in their last year of 'teenage-dom', that will always stick with me.
I’m on parcials week in uni and I need to unwind but it makes me feel guilty because the time I spend in my special interests could be used to study, any tips on how to balance it?
(I’m autistic and majoring in Microbiology btw)
i've had the most horrible week/day and i've been waiting all day to get home and settle down while watching this video because i know it'll soothe me ❤️🩹 thank you for putting all the hard work!
This broke my heart
Your ASD story is mirroring my current situation at 30. Chronic migraines and illness, and accidental article finding. Now I’m struggling to find a psychiatrist who can diagnose adults in the US. It’s unbelievably difficult.
Omg yes 100% relate to the fear of the youth™️
I’ve realised I’m autistic in the last year or so and am awaiting assessment. My dad is definitely autistic too but don’t think he will ever accept that he is. The waiting list is 4 years at the moment so I’m having to pay privately 😢
I’m so sorry for everything you went through and I can totally relate to what you said about the family feeling guilt for not catching it sooner. I have also only just been diagnosed/ had an operation for endometriosis which I feel should’ve been caught sooner. That presented its own set of challenges over the years, being neurodivergent and not knowing. I still have a lot of resentment but I know that that the signs in AFAB people just weren’t known about back then.
where is your blue jacket from? looks super cute
Im currently in a burn out and CZcams is my big special interest 😩😖 I’m not diagnosed yet and idk how to go about it as an adult :( I had a lot of trouble with school and eating tooo and then I got patronised by cahms for masking so I’m still undiagnosed 😊
Ooh, before I forget, I saw on Jet Pens that Pilot are changing the formula of the Frixion ink to make it darker. I thought you might want to know.
I literally started learning italian bc of maneskin😂. I found them through eurovision when zitti e buoni came on my explore page.
having my own home is my main aspiration in life too. it would be so wonderful. i live in ireland where the housing situation is also dire so as an unemployed autistic person i have no idea how i will ever be able to buy a house.
❤️
There are so much similar things to me. I got the autism diagnosis when we searched for a reason to my health issues. Sometimes when I say I'm autistic, they wondering because I didn't act like the stereotypical autistic human. 😅
Lol, relate so much to the fear of youths. I’m literally 18 but I get spooked out by 13-16 year old haha
I have the same thing with emails and messages through messaging apps. I have not gone into Whatsapp and Signal for over a month and I know I have messages there. I'm just not ready. I have ADHD and an "invisible" disability and all I can say is that they overwhelm me. They feel like a long 'to do' list that I didn't consent to.