If anyone apologised like that to me I would immediately start bawling because there's such a deep understanding and I do have yelling trauma 😭 hit too close to home
This is so sweet, you can tell the how much she cares. Lots have moments where we need time to let anger be let out before they accidentally hurt someone else’s feelings… I always worry if I get super mad I’ll end up doing that. Hate myself so much when it has happened before. I don’t mind if people don’t forgive for me. Amazing audio as always Kat. ❤
The worst part is when the listener feels stuck in a catch-22. When someone else makes a mistake, a person like the listener doesn't knowingly try to shift the blame onto themself. They have learned to genuinely feel that they themself are to blame. So they feel that they have to apologize, or they're a bad person. But they also know that the person they're apologizing to doesn't blame them, and thus they're slowly pissing the speaker off by trying to apologize. The inner monologue of the speaker knowing exactly what the listener is doing is also going through the Listener's head. They know full well that the speaker is thinking "here we go again" and that breaks them down even more because there is no winning in this situation anymore. If they don't apologize, they can't feel safe or comfortable or feel that the conflict is resolved. If they do apologize, they feel that they are making a new conflict that they need to again apologize for, which creates a new conflict, which they need to again apologize for, which creates a new conflict...
My simple way to resolve would be to hold then close stop the talking and go straight to action. Basically kiss the girl so much they have to giggle or at the very least that mouth of there's would be busy. But I would get permission first of course.
So I had a period in my life where my father would yell all the time and be super angry for small things over all he was abusive he was really depressed and had a ton of mental issues but now he is much better and he is the best person I know however there still is a part of me that results back to those days when I hear someone yelling at me I physically jump back out of fear and shut down mentally to defend myself from getting hurt this autio strikes really close to my heart and I just want to thank you for making me feel seen and that it's ok to have those lingering feelings. So... thanks, great autio btw❤
"I know you loved those plants, and you took such good care of them!" What do you mean I love plants? I'm allergic to pollen and most non-pollen plants! Plants are legit slowly killing me, girl!
Had a solid cry listening to this one, thank you so incredibly much for posting such calming, and spiritually uplifting content. Makes dark just just a little brighter.
@@PineKatAudio great video to be honest I got bullied a lot as a kid for being autistic and a lot of things that happened in my life so to be honest this one hit a lot of close to home and it was relatable and great it gave me a little bit of comfort in a weird way I don't know why but it just did cuz it made me think that maybe there would be someone that would have been that way for me I don't know sorry
I often find that yelling is looked over as a trigger, especially since it's the case for me. It's really nice to hear conversation about it! Thank you!
thank you for this, Kat! I think it's really important that you're depicting a healthy way to apologize and showing that there are constructive, non-aggressive ways to come out of an argument. Have a wonderful weekend. 💜
This has helped me so much especially with addressing my suppressed PTSD. My Kira approaches not so good moments in the same way you do here so it helps immensely when I hear these.. Thank you, Pine Kat! 🍻
This video perfectly summed up the experiences my wife and I go through. She grew up in a household that encouraged her to learn yelling as a defensive tool, and I'm on the autism spectrum so my brain always assumes any negative emotions in my vicinity must be my fault. It created a big rift in our relationship. It took us a long time to reach the level of understanding you demonstrated in the video, but we've both grown to understand the way each other's mind works, and you perfectly described the thought processes we both go through. Thank you for making this. I'm sure it will help others learn to understand their partners as well.
I love the beginning. Like, clarifying that Kat is not mad at us/the listener. I had an argument with my boyfriend a while ago and it didn't go very well. But later we talked about it again and came to the conclusion that neither of us was mad at the other person but just at the situation. Learnt a great lesson that day
This one really hit home for me, and I... Well, just thank you, honestly. It meant a lot to hear so many things that were said in it. Really, thanks, Kat.
Honestly, I don't even like plants, but been in this kinda situation before and less than 2 minutes in I started crying, just so used to being the outlet. Thank you for this I feel like getting some form of context from a more normalized other perspective is really therapeutic.
This jus shows how much Kat care's she really does have a heart of gold 💕 & these audios really show and prove it thank you Kat for the heartwarming audios 💖
I felt this because I grew up around my abusive friends and family and toxic teachers a lot whenever they’d yell at me I got scared after the many times I was blamed and when fights happen I feel sorry because I always believe it’s my fault and I would apologize because I’d be convinced that I messed up the situation that caused the fight to start. But now I’m dealing with my angry response to most fight yelling related situations conflicts cause me now to get angry but I’m working on it I’m trying not to get angry and yell like my abusive parents did I’m trying to learn not to be like that I’m just scared and panic with anger inside whenever someone yells because I get shaky emotional this hit so close to home for me too
i got so emotional cause my sister said she would give me a sticker of my favorite Pokémon then 15 minutes later said she wanted it back i explained to her she made a promise and she broke my trust but she still continued with the fight saying that i had already got something from the mini con which had nothing do with this and she should have it back since she didn't get something the same worth which made no sense still thank you this is the apology i wanted from her
I absolutely hate loud noises so when ever I come across these kind of videos I'm literally so happy. Loud noises just scare me like really bad. It could be something as simple as dropping something and I will get scared.
I wonder if there is the opposite response. I get yelled at I tell back in the beginning I stay quiet muming to myself. But they always demand I tell them over & over. Now I just yell as loud as I can what I said after all “you know I can’t hear you when you mumble like that”. Starting a the fight then I’m punished I’m angry at them. Then myself for not behaving then I become self deprecating. Then they tell me to stop with the pity party. When I say it’s all my fault not like (they don’t tell me that). Plus don't know completely why but I am not good at apologizing. I used to apologize for every little thing I did wrong but my mom just went “why are you apologizing do you even know what your apologizing for.” Then after that I stopped after a while the family screw-up. Maybe someone told me “you’re not sorry just sorry you were caught”. Or “you’re not sorry this is the third, fifth time you’ve done it. You never listen to me but that’s fine..” Either way I realized an apology is worthless but I can’t stop screwing up so I hide. I’m fine though. I have an easy life with a roof over my head and a loving family. Most people would die for. I just need to stop ruining things hehehe yah know.
I went through the same thing with my girlfriend and I almost passed out because of her yelling but now she understands that she can't yell at me because of my ex and my step mom
yep, if by some divine intervention i get a girlfriend, this listener would exactly be me lmao. i say "sorry" even though i shouldn't. i grew up being scolded a lot, so i really feel this
Honestly I just mentally shut down take whatever is being yelled at me about apologize then try to leave the environment and be alone I haven't dated anyone like that due to only being in one relationship so far but my mom yells alot doesn't really threaten and doesn't do anything to me physically but my family has in the past threatened to (and this is pretty much a quote by the way) sell me to gypsies as a joke when u was like between the ages of like 3-7 only happened twice maybe 3 times but otherwise my mom will say thay we can do something then say she never said that so I've just learnt to never ask people if they've said that they'd do something as I feel like I'm manipulating them and it feels selfish
This has me tearing up omfg both because I've been in 2 highly abusive relationships and becuase while it's super humiliating my plants have been dying left and right partially cause of my mental health and very very poor judgement calls as well as pests and I love gardening and always have been praised for my plants and I've definetly shed tears over it because I'm to ashamed to ask to go back to the store and get more and some other supplies. Plus I have very bad ADHD, dissosciation and emotional dysregulation so whenever I fail to do things when someone asked me to I feel terrible. I can set all the alarms in the world, I can write notes to myself, I can get reminders from people but I still fail a lot. And subsequently people get really mad about it. It's not like I'm not trying, or I don't care my brain just doesn't have the proper short and long term memory connection I need and I forget, and then get very sensetive about it.
![ASMR| I Would Never Hurt You [TW: Abuse] [Comfort for Past Abuse]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dW2J-i1XYaw/mqdefault.jpg)
![ASMR| I Would Never Hurt You [TW: Abuse] [Comfort for Past Abuse]](/img/tr.png)
![[f4a] GF walks in on you packing a bag [fight][I can explain][I'm not cheating on you!]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/PW_IJsGDZ68/mqdefault.jpg)
![[f4a] Wife Comforts You - Stressful Day [cuddles] [playing with hair] [listener request]](/img/n.gif)
If anyone apologised like that to me I would immediately start bawling because there's such a deep understanding and I do have yelling trauma 😭 hit too close to home
I’d probably cry my eyes out to.
Same
I don’t even have yelling trauma, and I would be crying. I’ve never had anyone apologize like that to me before.
Same
I have been yelled at and threatened by an ex, and this video was a bulls eye in the hart
'My emotions are not your responsibility."
So many of us needed hear that. Thank you for bringing this up and handling it with such care.
Absolutely no CZcamsr:
Kat: casually teaches us to be better people
Best teacher ever
ye 👍
Lmao not even
My father, about as loud as the beginning of this: I'M NOT YELLING!
Yelling “IM NOT YELLING” is peak
Me: Yeah, I can definitely handle listening to this.
Also Me: *already crying 60 seconds in*
Seriously, though, thank you so much for this audio, Kat.
Let's face it. We are all just a bunch of people who secretly wishes for someone like her
Yes
Yeah. Though it's a pretty open secret.
we should be the ones who will be these people, instead of waiting for somebody like that to come to us
@@pacificnebula4899 Yeah, we shoul and I am trying
@@pacificnebula4899 we are already, but the person to give her this love dont exist.
This is so sweet, you can tell the how much she cares. Lots have moments where we need time to let anger be let out before they accidentally hurt someone else’s feelings… I always worry if I get super mad I’ll end up doing that. Hate myself so much when it has happened before. I don’t mind if people don’t forgive for me. Amazing audio as always Kat. ❤
The worst part is when the listener feels stuck in a catch-22. When someone else makes a mistake, a person like the listener doesn't knowingly try to shift the blame onto themself. They have learned to genuinely feel that they themself are to blame. So they feel that they have to apologize, or they're a bad person. But they also know that the person they're apologizing to doesn't blame them, and thus they're slowly pissing the speaker off by trying to apologize. The inner monologue of the speaker knowing exactly what the listener is doing is also going through the Listener's head. They know full well that the speaker is thinking "here we go again" and that breaks them down even more because there is no winning in this situation anymore. If they don't apologize, they can't feel safe or comfortable or feel that the conflict is resolved. If they do apologize, they feel that they are making a new conflict that they need to again apologize for, which creates a new conflict, which they need to again apologize for, which creates a new conflict...
My simple way to resolve would be to hold then close stop the talking and go straight to action.
Basically kiss the girl so much they have to giggle or at the very least that mouth of there's would be busy. But I would get permission first of course.
So I had a period in my life where my father would yell all the time and be super angry for small things over all he was abusive he was really depressed and had a ton of mental issues but now he is much better and he is the best person I know however there still is a part of me that results back to those days when I hear someone yelling at me I physically jump back out of fear and shut down mentally to defend myself from getting hurt this autio strikes really close to my heart and I just want to thank you for making me feel seen and that it's ok to have those lingering feelings. So... thanks, great autio btw❤
"I know you loved those plants, and you took such good care of them!"
What do you mean I love plants? I'm allergic to pollen and most non-pollen plants! Plants are legit slowly killing me, girl!
Had a solid cry listening to this one, thank you so incredibly much for posting such calming, and spiritually uplifting content. Makes dark just just a little brighter.
You are welcome 💕
@@PineKatAudio great video to be honest I got bullied a lot as a kid for being autistic and a lot of things that happened in my life so to be honest this one hit a lot of close to home and it was relatable and great it gave me a little bit of comfort in a weird way I don't know why but it just did cuz it made me think that maybe there would be someone that would have been that way for me I don't know sorry
@@PineKatAudio thank you for the great audio
I often find that yelling is looked over as a trigger, especially since it's the case for me. It's really nice to hear conversation about it! Thank you!
thank you for this, Kat! I think it's really important that you're depicting a healthy way to apologize and showing that there are constructive, non-aggressive ways to come out of an argument. Have a wonderful weekend. 💜
Kat puts an extraordinary amount of effort and research into her videos~
This made me cry because it really hits hard having trauma with being yelled at and etc so ty for this. It’s very comporting :]💜
I don’t think I’d ever say this, but thank you for making me cry, I needed it.
This has helped me so much especially with addressing my suppressed PTSD. My Kira approaches not so good moments in the same way you do here so it helps immensely when I hear these.. Thank you, Pine Kat! 🍻
I love that you have a focus on healthy relationships and strategies
This video perfectly summed up the experiences my wife and I go through. She grew up in a household that encouraged her to learn yelling as a defensive tool, and I'm on the autism spectrum so my brain always assumes any negative emotions in my vicinity must be my fault. It created a big rift in our relationship.
It took us a long time to reach the level of understanding you demonstrated in the video, but we've both grown to understand the way each other's mind works, and you perfectly described the thought processes we both go through.
Thank you for making this. I'm sure it will help others learn to understand their partners as well.
Thank you for giving a perfect example of what a mentally stable partner is, wish i could've heard these words sooner
This hit really close to home for me but you executed it greatly thank you so much great work
Thank you for listening :)
I love the beginning. Like, clarifying that Kat is not mad at us/the listener. I had an argument with my boyfriend a while ago and it didn't go very well. But later we talked about it again and came to the conclusion that neither of us was mad at the other person but just at the situation. Learnt a great lesson that day
This one really hit home for me, and I...
Well, just thank you, honestly. It meant a lot to hear so many things that were said in it. Really, thanks, Kat.
This is so sweet! I hope that one day I will find someone who loves me like that. ❤
u have more affective responsibility than my father lol, i cried
Honestly, I don't even like plants, but been in this kinda situation before and less than 2 minutes in I started crying, just so used to being the outlet. Thank you for this I feel like getting some form of context from a more normalized other perspective is really therapeutic.
Even after 8 months this is still my no.1 comfort audio thank you for your amazing work
This jus shows how much Kat care's she really does have a heart of gold 💕 & these audios really show and prove it thank you Kat for the heartwarming audios 💖
GRAAAAAAH another great audio Kat thank you sm
Thank you Kat, as always, for these awesome and unique audios!
Idk why my hands are shaking after listening to this
These audios are always great! So comforting :)
Each of those plants had families :/
real :/
god i hope i have someone like her. at least in my dream
im crying...no one have apologized to me like this...thank you 😢
I learnt more from this than from a whole month of school no joke
I felt this because I grew up around my abusive friends and family and toxic teachers a lot whenever they’d yell at me I got scared after the many times I was blamed and when fights happen I feel sorry because I always believe it’s my fault and I would apologize because I’d be convinced that I messed up the situation that caused the fight to start. But now I’m dealing with my angry response to most fight yelling related situations conflicts cause me now to get angry but I’m working on it I’m trying not to get angry and yell like my abusive parents did I’m trying to learn not to be like that I’m just scared and panic with anger inside whenever someone yells because I get shaky emotional this hit so close to home for me too
You know it’s bad when you listen to this at midnight to comfort you
I felt like I need to take notes lol
I've been here before... I definitely need help from trauma from yelling or something probably lol
❣️I love this audio
As someone who blames/beets himself down a lot and is trying to be better/get better this made me feel good Tnx for making this.
A great way to end a fight
the plants tho💔💔
In a parallel universe somewhere, they are still thriving! 🌿🌱
@@PineKatAudio 🎶in another liife🎶
Loved and appreciated😊🙏❤
green flags: when they do that thing we’re they care about you
Def one of my fav asmr channels. You sound so natural. It always makes my day when you post
Thank you so much
I am gonna cry (good) tears
8:07 shaking part
🤙🏻💯💚like always kat
i got so emotional cause my sister said she would give me a sticker of my favorite Pokémon then 15 minutes later said she wanted it back i explained to her she made a promise and she broke my trust but she still continued with the fight saying that i had already got something from the mini con which had nothing do with this and she should have it back since she didn't get something the same worth which made no sense still thank you this is the apology i wanted from her
I was beaten really badly by my old girlfriend so hearing the opposite helps alot
This is too real and honestly I appreciate it
I absolutely hate loud noises so when ever I come across these kind of videos I'm literally so happy. Loud noises just scare me like really bad. It could be something as simple as dropping something and I will get scared.
Is it wired I'm crying for no reason 😢
No, not weird, lucky that you can
These videos are so comforting I’m definitely subbing
I love it
And i’m so tired
I wish people were actually like this.
Don't yell at your Listener!
I watched a 3 minute Ad of Gordon Ramsay cooking a burger just to watch this...
That would make me hungry! 🍔 Thank you for your dedication!
OKAY, I’M SORRY, I JUST GOT FLASH BANGED BY A FREE THERAPY SESSION?? WHY THE HECK AM I GETTING GENUINELY GOOD ADVICE FROM A COMFORT AUDIO- 😐
I need me someone to love.
Very nice
I wonder if there is the opposite response.
I get yelled at I tell back in the beginning I stay quiet muming to myself. But they always demand I tell them over & over.
Now I just yell as loud as I can what I said after all “you know I can’t hear you when you mumble like that”.
Starting a the fight then I’m punished I’m angry at them. Then myself for not behaving then I become self deprecating.
Then they tell me to stop with the pity party. When I say it’s all my fault not like (they don’t tell me that).
Plus don't know completely why but I am not good at apologizing.
I used to apologize for every little thing I did wrong but my mom just went “why are you apologizing do you even know what your apologizing for.”
Then after that I stopped after a while the family screw-up.
Maybe someone told me “you’re not sorry just sorry you were caught”. Or “you’re not sorry this is the third, fifth time you’ve done it. You never listen to me but that’s fine..”
Either way I realized an apology is worthless but I can’t stop screwing up so I hide.
I’m fine though. I have an easy life with a roof over my head and a loving family.
Most people would die for. I just need to stop ruining things hehehe yah know.
Write this down people take some notes
I went through the same thing with my girlfriend and I almost passed out because of her yelling but now she understands that she can't yell at me because of my ex and my step mom
Suddenly self insert is standing beside me. Lol
yep, if by some divine intervention i get a girlfriend, this listener would exactly be me lmao. i say "sorry" even though i shouldn't. i grew up being scolded a lot, so i really feel this
I dont have yelling trama but it still made my heart ache
Honestly I just mentally shut down take whatever is being yelled at me about apologize then try to leave the environment and be alone I haven't dated anyone like that due to only being in one relationship so far but my mom yells alot doesn't really threaten and doesn't do anything to me physically but my family has in the past threatened to (and this is pretty much a quote by the way) sell me to gypsies as a joke when u was like between the ages of like 3-7 only happened twice maybe 3 times but otherwise my mom will say thay we can do something then say she never said that so I've just learnt to never ask people if they've said that they'd do something as I feel like I'm manipulating them and it feels selfish
This has me tearing up omfg both because I've been in 2 highly abusive relationships and becuase while it's super humiliating my plants have been dying left and right partially cause of my mental health and very very poor judgement calls as well as pests and I love gardening and always have been praised for my plants and I've definetly shed tears over it because I'm to ashamed to ask to go back to the store and get more and some other supplies. Plus I have very bad ADHD, dissosciation and emotional dysregulation so whenever I fail to do things when someone asked me to I feel terrible. I can set all the alarms in the world, I can write notes to myself, I can get reminders from people but I still fail a lot. And subsequently people get really mad about it. It's not like I'm not trying, or I don't care my brain just doesn't have the proper short and long term memory connection I need and I forget, and then get very sensetive about it.
DAMN these onions are strong. 😥
Tried so hard to keep it together but ended up crying by the end of it ;-;
Idk why but I like to imagine this was my abusive online sister. I don’t think it’s healthy tho.
Hi! Kat! How have you been?😊
This is what you get for buying houseplants or annuals for the wrong climate.
This is definitely not real, nobody in my life has ever apologized or admitted fault
I wish people apologized to me
Wow, I guess trauma unlocked, I should stop listening to those but it still was very good, also you have a very nice voice
Bro this is a thing? Though that was just me huh
To anyone out there who could help me with my thoughts of death plz reply im feeling very lonely without support
I have plenty of time to talk
Where are these women that can actually admit when they are wrong
Who's them?
Us
us, obviously. this is f4a which means anyone can listen
Yeah. New daisies. Flowers are replacable
This F4a script sucks. Every other word is they lol. Like that's 30% of the script.
itd be that way with he or she too lmao.
@@smokewthedevil true but for like90%
Well its not that big of a deal is it? Like you can just search F4M or something and other good audios will pop up. Chill.
@@screamingpotato5568 you do you. Just don't tell me what to do.
@@ScaryTimeTravel 👁👄👁
I have yelling trama this hit too close to my childhood
hi