He legally abandoned his child, didn't support him at all for 8 years, the boy was legally adopted by another man. He has no rights to the kid just because NOW he's not with his ex. Deadbeat
“Maybe I was a bit harsh….” Gees. Why are Americans so obsessed with appearing to be so moralistic…? What Nathan did was horrific. What she did back to him was absolutely NOTHING in comparison to what he did and yet, she’s torturing herself thinking that “she went too far”…(?) Honestly…? 🤦🏻♂️
I wouldnt have "confirmed" his delusion as revenge, i wouldve sent the picture and said something like "dont worry a bigger man than you is taking way better care of your son that you ever could"
EVERYONE has the right to give OP advice on how to handle her emotions. No one has the right however, to force OP to act on that advice… Two completely different things…
@@sinpourmoi2765 You just brought the “without THEIR affirmative consent” point INTO the argument. That was never even an issue in the original argument - whether someone can give advice or not, regardless of whether the person acts upon it or not. What you’re doing is called the “Red Herring Fallacy” babe… (when someone jumps on a minor/irrelevant detail and acts like that invalidates the main point)…
so bro was cheating on her, but took the advice of the girl he was having an affair with to believe his faithful wife was cheating?? 😭 guilty people are usually the ones who accuse ig
I do not get why she has to do more reflection on letting go of the past and the anger. She did that already. She moved past it by taking care of her son and getting remarried. It was the ex-husband that came back into her life. Why doesn't he reflect more on his life and let go of the past by leaving her and her family alone?
The only foreseeable issue is if the OP's son does an Ancestory test and goes looking for his bio dad in the future. At some point she's going to have to come clean with her son about what shook down surrounding the divorce and his birth.
You can't control anyone else. She did that reflecting so she can get past it and not hate him because that will drain you physically and mentally. Yes he was the one who tried to contact her but she can't keep him from not trying to talk to her in the first place. Yes she can block him but he's still gonna find a way to try to talk to her. She can't change that. Only thing she can work on is herself Reflecting on it once doesn't mean it's over. It's a long process. Even if you get remarried and seem like you moved on, you can have mixed feelings ESPECIALLY when the other person comes back into your life My ex was an abusive narcissist. I can't say that I completely hate him but I still have issues when he is mentioned. It's been over 3 years since we separated but it's still bugging me It's still a process. You really don't have the right to tell anyone that they should be past anything because you don't know what's going on on the inside. I doubt you've been married or dealt with the same kind of pain OP has dealt with because if you did, you would understand A marriage is a union. Divorce can be extremely painful. I felt like I was literally being ripped in half sometimes. It was emotional and mental yes but the pain was also physical. Don't tell anyone they should be healed or done with a situation. Don't tell them to "get over it" or that you don't see what the big deal is. Or to ask them what's wrong with them that they can't get over it Those questions need to be dealt with in therapy
He made his choice; he knew that was his child and he walked away for years. Her son has a father and its not Nathan. If he wants to know his sperm donor in the future that's one thing, but he already knows his father.
I absolutely understand why she chose to keep her son away from that monster. He doesn’t deserve the time of her son or her family in general. But genuine question here, couldn’t she be in legal trouble if he decided to have visitation rights with the court? I mean a paternity test would prove he’s the dad. It’s a horrific thought but I’m just curious
True but I think there are other factors to consider. He never even believed that was his son to begin with and never signed his name on the birth certificate. Op’s husband adopted her son, so legally speaking, he is the father and guardian while the ex is just the sperm donor. On top of that,if the courts do rule him as the biological father, he still abandoned his son and didn’t pay any child support when they were divorce. So I think those would be used against the ex if he did try to go after his son. I don’t know if this is enough because every country has their own opinions and laws of child support and divorce but I would think it’s enough reason for the courts not to just give him parental rights without OP’s consent. I do think OP should be open with her son though, and tell him the truth of his father. If she doesn’t, then the bio dad could find his son and spin the story. It’s better to be honest now, than let him fall into lies later on.
Asking about his son after years of no contact because he is lonely. This guy is nuts. Not a father material and cannot be trusted. As a mother she did what she had to. The boy can contact his father when he is old enough to understand the situation.
Problem with telling kids lies about their parentage is once they find out usually from another relative or a dna test for ancestry things blow up. People have a way of romanticizing what might have been. So even if the other parties are garbage theres this draw to them. Often happens with adopted kids too. A real chance this could bite her in the ass 20 years down the road.
When you know you are without such toxicity in your life no longer and nd feel absolutely 💯 nothing when a grown man comes crying I'm sorry. For causing headaches
So she is an asshole, but not to nathan. The dude 100% got what he deserves. Her ex shouldn't have any rights. The reason she is an AH, if for her son. Her son deserves to know where he comes from. He deserves to know how much badassyouru current husband is for stepping where he didn't have to. If godforbid something happened medicall, that could have prevented knowing his real med history. That would be on the poster here.
No, she isn't. Nathan would truly deserve "getting that phone call" where he has to "donate (insert fluid/part here" to a child he would never have a part in raising and such.
@@jaylonallen8423 , so him falling for blatant and obvious lies shouldn't be penalized.. would you be as forgiving if the genders were reversed.. and the wife was convinced that her then husband fathered another woman's child?
@Panwere36 yes if the roles were reversed people would react the same and if the roles were reversed there would be no sympathy it would just be comments saying if the roles were reversed
The way the OP handles the reaction of the EX is not how she should wether she was upset or not ypu kind of manipilated him they are genuine concerns and you cant be upset abt them you should have js let him have space but he also should have js left you alone after the whole ordeal
From the son pespective, honestly I think that if my mom didn't allow my biological father be part of my life because of grudges she has, i would get really pissed at her.
From the op's perspective, the "dad" Aka nathan was f--king cheating and didn't wanted anything to do with the child at the time because his ex brainwashed him like a freaking washing machine on gentle mode
@victoriacristina9610 She offered him a paternity test and he refused. He even told her he'd leave if she didn't abort the baby. His baby, just imagine if your "father" told your mother to kill you because he was too lazy and impatient to get a paternity test. Sorry but he is a terrible man and a horrible father.
I feel bad for her son. I mean one day he's gonna ask about his biological son and she's gonna have to tell him all this. OP used her son as a tool of revenge against her ex and it not okay.
She's right to be concerned tho, he knew the child was his and only got in contact after his affair relationship ended. The kid doesn't need such a fickle influence in his life. Revenge is just a sweet side effect.
She kept the son away from a man who wanted her to abort her son because he couldn't be arsed to wait for a paternity test result. Would you really want to meet a man that wanted to end your existence before you were even born?
One day the kid will want to know his real father, and if he succeeds in talking to him and your ex tells him what happened he will leave you best case is he hates you and your relationship is missed up. the reason i say that is, his father did try to come back to be part of his life but not only did you send him away you also lied and said he is not the father, which is something way worse than what he did to you, reason is you used your son to get back at him and the choice wasn't yours and it will f your son up when he does find out.
And then OP could tell how Nathan wanted son aborted, how he didn't want anything to do with him, how he didn't even agree to a paternity test and tried to crawl back into their lives only because his relationship with Jessica fell apart
I get being petty but there is such thing as going to far. Really should have let the man know that was his kid. Rub it in his face that he had but more trust into someone that dumped him then someone who was always trying to be there for him. Lying to him wasn't the play in my opinion. At least let him know that is in fact his son.
He legally abandoned his child, didn't support him at all for 8 years, the boy was legally adopted by another man. He has no rights to the kid just because NOW he's not with his ex. Deadbeat
“Maybe I was a bit harsh….”
Gees.
Why are Americans so obsessed with appearing to be so moralistic…?
What Nathan did was horrific.
What she did back to him was absolutely NOTHING in comparison to what he did and yet, she’s torturing herself thinking that “she went too far”…(?)
Honestly…?
🤦🏻♂️
I wouldnt have "confirmed" his delusion as revenge, i wouldve sent the picture and said something like "dont worry a bigger man than you is taking way better care of your son that you ever could"
Ironic. The deadbeat says that he hopes his amazing, trusting and supportive wife didn't 'sleep' with a deadbeat. The copium is insane...
No one has the right to give OP advice on how to handle her emotions. Her ex is exactly where he belongs.
EVERYONE has the right to give OP advice on how to handle her emotions.
No one has the right however, to force OP to act on that advice…
Two completely different things…
@@Carehuea ACTUALLY, no one has permission to give someone advice without their affirmative consent. Basic interpersonal communication theory, babe.
@@sinpourmoi2765
You just brought the “without THEIR affirmative consent” point INTO the argument.
That was never even an issue in the original argument - whether someone can give advice or not, regardless of whether the person acts upon it or not.
What you’re doing is called the “Red Herring Fallacy” babe… (when someone jumps on a minor/irrelevant detail and acts like that invalidates the main point)…
@@Carehuea yea, I just got my degree in communication. What do I know lol
@@sinpourmoi2765
Waste of money and resources, I’m afraid….
so bro was cheating on her, but took the advice of the girl he was having an affair with to believe his faithful wife was cheating?? 😭 guilty people are usually the ones who accuse ig
I do not get why she has to do more reflection on letting go of the past and the anger. She did that already. She moved past it by taking care of her son and getting remarried. It was the ex-husband that came back into her life. Why doesn't he reflect more on his life and let go of the past by leaving her and her family alone?
Seems you just want her to let these feelings grow so there’s more drama for you to feed off of.
But if her son finds out the truth he probably will react negatively
The only foreseeable issue is if the OP's son does an Ancestory test and goes looking for his bio dad in the future. At some point she's going to have to come clean with her son about what shook down surrounding the divorce and his birth.
You can't control anyone else.
She did that reflecting so she can get past it and not hate him because that will drain you physically and mentally.
Yes he was the one who tried to contact her but she can't keep him from not trying to talk to her in the first place. Yes she can block him but he's still gonna find a way to try to talk to her. She can't change that. Only thing she can work on is herself
Reflecting on it once doesn't mean it's over.
It's a long process.
Even if you get remarried and seem like you moved on, you can have mixed feelings ESPECIALLY when the other person comes back into your life
My ex was an abusive narcissist. I can't say that I completely hate him but I still have issues when he is mentioned. It's been over 3 years since we separated but it's still bugging me
It's still a process.
You really don't have the right to tell anyone that they should be past anything because you don't know what's going on on the inside.
I doubt you've been married or dealt with the same kind of pain OP has dealt with because if you did, you would understand
A marriage is a union. Divorce can be extremely painful. I felt like I was literally being ripped in half sometimes. It was emotional and mental yes but the pain was also physical.
Don't tell anyone they should be healed or done with a situation. Don't tell them to "get over it" or that you don't see what the big deal is. Or to ask them what's wrong with them that they can't get over it
Those questions need to be dealt with in therapy
He made his choice; he knew that was his child and he walked away for years. Her son has a father and its not Nathan.
If he wants to know his sperm donor in the future that's one thing, but he already knows his father.
So nathan wants to be the father to the baby he told her to abort!
I hate those preachy AI endings
Me too.
Moralistic phuqs
I absolutely understand why she chose to keep her son away from that monster. He doesn’t deserve the time of her son or her family in general. But genuine question here, couldn’t she be in legal trouble if he decided to have visitation rights with the court? I mean a paternity test would prove he’s the dad. It’s a horrific thought but I’m just curious
True but I think there are other factors to consider. He never even believed that was his son to begin with and never signed his name on the birth certificate. Op’s husband adopted her son, so legally speaking, he is the father and guardian while the ex is just the sperm donor. On top of that,if the courts do rule him as the biological father, he still abandoned his son and didn’t pay any child support when they were divorce. So I think those would be used against the ex if he did try to go after his son. I don’t know if this is enough because every country has their own opinions and laws of child support and divorce but I would think it’s enough reason for the courts not to just give him parental rights without OP’s consent.
I do think OP should be open with her son though, and tell him the truth of his father. If she doesn’t, then the bio dad could find his son and spin the story. It’s better to be honest now, than let him fall into lies later on.
Asking about his son after years of no contact because he is lonely. This guy is nuts. Not a father material and cannot be trusted. As a mother she did what she had to. The boy can contact his father when he is old enough to understand the situation.
Honstely say the truth it can be in legal trouble in the future espiecally that u see his really random send him a paternity test and change ur number
Well he was unfortunetly right about the kid having a deadbeat dad...
Problem with telling kids lies about their parentage is once they find out usually from another relative or a dna test for ancestry things blow up. People have a way of romanticizing what might have been. So even if the other parties are garbage theres this draw to them. Often happens with adopted kids too. A real chance this could bite her in the ass 20 years down the road.
Why would she "admit" she cheated? That's weird.
When you know you are without such toxicity in your life no longer and nd feel absolutely 💯 nothing when a grown man comes crying I'm sorry. For causing headaches
So she is an asshole, but not to nathan. The dude 100% got what he deserves. Her ex shouldn't have any rights. The reason she is an AH, if for her son. Her son deserves to know where he comes from. He deserves to know how much badassyouru current husband is for stepping where he didn't have to. If godforbid something happened medicall, that could have prevented knowing his real med history. That would be on the poster here.
No, she isn't. Nathan would truly deserve "getting that phone call" where he has to "donate (insert fluid/part here" to a child he would never have a part in raising and such.
Oh my god please what are the chances that her own damn ex has some sort of serious mystery disease she isn't aware of??? Yall just make shit up
@@Panwere36Yes she is because she is willing to keep secrets from her son about his bio dad
@@jaylonallen8423 , so him falling for blatant and obvious lies shouldn't be penalized.. would you be as forgiving if the genders were reversed.. and the wife was convinced that her then husband fathered another woman's child?
@Panwere36 yes if the roles were reversed people would react the same and if the roles were reversed there would be no sympathy it would just be comments saying if the roles were reversed
The way the OP handles the reaction of the EX is not how she should wether she was upset or not ypu kind of manipilated him they are genuine concerns and you cant be upset abt them you should have js let him have space but he also should have js left you alone after the whole ordeal
Hey, where the hell is the last of the recording of the video four hours ago?
I ruined the perfect 100 likes and made it 101.
From the son pespective, honestly I think that if my mom didn't allow my biological father be part of my life because of grudges she has, i would get really pissed at her.
He had a chance but wanted the Ex back. He is just the sperm donor.
From the op's perspective, the "dad" Aka nathan was f--king cheating and didn't wanted anything to do with the child at the time because his ex brainwashed him like a freaking washing machine on gentle mode
First thing he is not the father of the child. He is just a sperm donor.
A child never know he is his sperm donor so it's not matter.
Just to clarify i m not defending his actions. But since he change his mind ,he has the right to fight for his son and the deserve to meet his father.
@victoriacristina9610 She offered him a paternity test and he refused. He even told her he'd leave if she didn't abort the baby. His baby, just imagine if your "father" told your mother to kill you because he was too lazy and impatient to get a paternity test. Sorry but he is a terrible man and a horrible father.
21 savage is British idk what this lady is saying
12:16 - "He went wherever I guess."
I guess I know where he went.
13:27 - Nailed it!
I feel bad for her son. I mean one day he's gonna ask about his biological son and she's gonna have to tell him all this. OP used her son as a tool of revenge against her ex and it not okay.
She's right to be concerned tho, he knew the child was his and only got in contact after his affair relationship ended. The kid doesn't need such a fickle influence in his life.
Revenge is just a sweet side effect.
She kept the son away from a man who wanted her to abort her son because he couldn't be arsed to wait for a paternity test result. Would you really want to meet a man that wanted to end your existence before you were even born?
One day the kid will want to know his real father, and if he succeeds in talking to him and your ex tells him what happened he will leave you best case is he hates you and your relationship is missed up. the reason i say that is, his father did try to come back to be part of his life but not only did you send him away you also lied and said he is not the father, which is something way worse than what he did to you, reason is you used your son to get back at him and the choice wasn't yours and it will f your son up when he does find out.
And then OP could tell how Nathan wanted son aborted, how he didn't want anything to do with him, how he didn't even agree to a paternity test and tried to crawl back into their lives only because his relationship with Jessica fell apart
why would kid wanna also know that his dad wanted his mom to get rid of his existent?
Can you take a breath after a sentence 😂
Op was a ISI doormat....
I get being petty but there is such thing as going to far. Really should have let the man know that was his kid. Rub it in his face that he had but more trust into someone that dumped him then someone who was always trying to be there for him. Lying to him wasn't the play in my opinion. At least let him know that is in fact his son.
The child has a right to know his dad, yes Nathan sucks but its not about him or her its only about the child
Eh, the kid is better off without this bad influence.
He's only back because Jessica left him, he knew the kid was his long before he abandoned him.
So screw your kid who has a right to know their father?
Sounds like a problem for the father that literally ran away from being a father cause he wanted his ex back.
To be honest I kinda side with her.
The guy did fuck around in the past and clearly said that the kid wasn't his
Dude had no reason to not trust her. Being objective, he’s in the wrong here
@@joeysonofjohn So screw the kid.
@@JustALouDude Not saying he’s not wrong, but so is she.