AITA for CANCELLING my BROTHER'S WEDDING?! | Wedding Planner REACTS
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- čas přidán 16. 10. 2023
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You missed the update on the first story. Wedding is off, she was not going to repay, parents were not going to write a check, and the fiance was going to use the wedding to pressure op to just gift them the money, since she already paied. Brother foud out and was furious, and had started to notice her toxic behavior, so ended things. Op has a new puppy.
Thanks for the update!
I would NOT be okay with someone else proposing at my wedding/reception.
Especially during a speech that was supposed to be about the love of the married couple and the relationship between the two brothers. I find the timing extremely inappropriate. I'm also guessing that he definitely didn't have permission. I would still be upset if it was after all of the wedding traditions, but less upset than doing it in the middle of a speech that was supposed to be about something entirely different
agreed@@akreeger7742 very few things would make me lose it as a bride but that would be up there
My husband proposed at my sisters wedding reception. Wanted to announce it but I said NO. Not the time. Glad I did
When my brother was getting married, he specifically nicely asked me not to get engaged - I said of course not, it's your wedding, I wouldn't do that to you. Now, for some people, if it's special to you and there is permission, that's awesome (I did see one where the bride, and the other ladies, set it up for bouquet toss, but she walked it to her best friend (or sister) and then it led to a proposal - and everyone genuinely seemed really happy, including the bride.
Yeah, if you want to do that, run it by the bride AND groom first.
I’ve seen sweet proposals at weddings because they were best friends with the bride and the bride helped plan it. Super sweet story, and no hurt feelings.
DO NOT propose at a wedding if the bride and groom have not said it is okay first.
Same goes for pregnancy announcements.
The nerve of the first bride. You should never expect you to make down payments on anything, and the brother is a fool if he stays with her. How incredibly selfish!!
Lol my sister in law’s sister announced her pregnancy in her speech at my brother’s wedding. Meanwhile, I was sitting there pregnant as well. Further along than she was I might add 🙂 But my entire family was at this wedding. I would’ve loved to tell them all prior to my brother’s wedding so they could be included on our joy too. I would’ve NEVER announced it or even told anyone big news like that at a wedding. So needless to say I was absolutely pissed 😅
For the second one. It wasn’t a five minute part. It affected the whole rest of the wedding and depending on when they did his toast, that could include other toasts, all of dinner, first dance, parent dances, and definitely all of the party time.
That being said, yeah it wasn’t handled well.
On the last one, the fact the sister didn't tell OP that the announcement at the wedding seems to be a bad time until OP actually asked directly about it is a huge red flag to me. I have to kind of wonder if the sister is the type of person that said she should keep the pregnancy a secret because it would overshadow the months leading up to her wedding. I've met people that get mad at others announcing their engagements or pregnancies before their wedding because they feel it is taking attention away from their 'special time'. And looking at how petty she reacted after finding out from her father, makes her seem like that kind of person to me at least.
For the best man proposal I think the thing that makes it worse for me was that his proposal was part of his best mans speech. Typically a best man speech is about the couple and the groom best man relationship and he flipped this to being about him and his partner. If someone proposed at my wedding it wouldn’t bother me as much if it was just another part of the evening separate to any key events on the timeline. The only part of my wedding being filmed is the speeches as I am sure I will be too swept up in the moment to fully appreciate the sentiment of these speeches. Having the proposal be a part of that would make it a very sour moment that should have been sweet.
How about, I would not be okay being proposed to at someone else’s wedding. Like…I don’t want to take the focus away from someone else and also…be creative and create our own moment.
My partner and I ended up having the most unoffical proposal- I told him its not enough to just say you see us being together together, you habe to ask me. So he did, in our living room, with a hug. He is very introverted, I do not like surprises. If someone proposed to me at a wedding, I would be mortified! And it would show he doesnt know me at all
I've heard all these stories before but its nice to hear a wedding planners take on them. Its never ok to announce any big news or propose at someone else's wedding unless there is permission. The 3rd story is the exception since the plan was her pregnancy at the wedding. I think the sister was the asshole and never planned on sharing OP's pregnancy news at her wedding, she just wanted the spotlight on her that whole 3 months and didn't want to share it with the impending first grandchild. She has zero reason to be mad at OP.
Definitely seems like sis is the kind of bride who forbids anyone getting any attention the months before or after her wedding. I doubt she was fine with it being announced a week after the wedding.
It depends on who is doing the proposing and did they clear it with the bride and groom first. If they just whip out a ring and drop to one knee in the middle of a wedding, then no. But if it’s cleared and okay, it’s fine. There was a video floating around where the brother not only cleared it, but the bride kicked it off by, instead of tossing the bouquet, turning at the last minute to handing it to the girlfriend as part of the proposal.
That might be the wedding I went to!
The bride handed the bouquet to one girl in the group, turned her around, and the girl's boyfriend was on one knee with the ring.
It had been cleared with the newlyweds ahead of time, and didn't step on any toes.
Bonus: the girl then handed off the bouquet to another woman who had really wanted it.
@@petrastedman669 that's a really sweet story :)
He obviously didn't propose at the wedding with malicious intent, but the clear lack of thought is selfish and disrespectful. Proposing at someone else's wedding without asking is an objectively shitty thing to do. You don't get a pass to be shitty because you are didn't put the extra thought in and had no malicious intent.
I commend the sister for putting her foot down. Good job to her!!
At the same time its not the brother's fault, so I feel bad for him. I feel like she should've spoke to him about it first, but I see why some people think she did the right thing.
Theory. The sister who wanted the other sister who was pregnant to wait to announce the baby so she can do it at her wedding. Didn't want any of the wedding planning/leadup to have any of attention on a baby. So she made up the bogus thing of I want to announce it at my wedding when she always intended to not announce it.
I love Jamie she held plan my wedding without her even knowing it
She helped plan mine too! I referred to her videos a lot during the process!
@@akreeger7742she was super helpful. 😊 I even refer to her videos for other brides to be especially my super low budget couples
Yaaaas! I've recommended theese videos in the budget wedding planning or diy bride Facebook groups I'm in. Has helped me and many others, still is!
Mine too. I binge watched her videos while on night shift and loved my wedding!
If I had a heads up about the proposal or baby I would have helped set the stage for a fun way to do it!
I like these AITA videos. Now that it’s past the wedding, I still enjoy listening to your videos but I often wonder what’s the point. These videos make it worth it to stay subscribed! Thank you for all your helpful advice and entertainment Jaime. 😁😊🤗🌸
#2 is a great example of something I learned from a Shar Henley video - men "don't really express emotions as a way of demonstrating their unhappiness most of the time", they just act. I agree with your assessment. ESH.
I feel like in the third story, maybe the sister just did not want anyone to know about OP's pregnancy so that there would be no "theft of spotlight", because maybe if OP had told her mom before the wedding, then the mum would have spread the news of the prospect of her first grand child and a lot of family members would have come to OP to congratulate her during the sister's wedding, making this special day a little less about the bride ? It might not have been the first intention, but the idea behind changing her mind about the announcement...
"Pour grace over the situation" wow thats such beautiful phrasing, putting that in my pocket for future use.
My jaw is always on the floor whenever these AITAs come out. The AUDACITY some people have!!!
I think I agree with the whole proposal at weddings. As long as it’s cleaned with me and someone I feel close with - fine by me! If it’s done unbeknownst to me I will, in fact, be quite pissed 😂
I think you are right, it depends on the person. I would do anything for my close friends, if one of them wanted to propose I would just ask to incorporate it into one of the quieter moments in the evening or the bouquet toss and help plan it so it doesn't outshine my day. But it would depend on who asked me and so long as they asked me first as well. If someone just proposed without asking I would be outraged Xx
I agree with you Jamie. Pour grace on the brothers!!
I really like your hair in this!
I love your rose print top! That's SO cute! I'm so glad to be an only child!
He did it at his speech, so bad!
I totally agree. I feel she was roped into this and expected to do this because nobody else would. She had such patience, more than many would have. Definitely not the a-hole. For the first. Also, never propose at someone's wedding unless you ask the couple. I wouldn't like it, personally. Because they may have expectations to use our photographer for their moment, as well as it will then be about them, at our micro wedding. But to each their own.
Yes I’m so sorry for both you and first op for losing your best furry friend. I lost my Snickers last December and yes, we have 8 other dogs between me and my boyfriend, but I still cry over the loss of my copper colored husky who lived until he was 18.
Completely unrelated- but would love a hair tutorial! Your hair is always perfection!
With the brother who was fired for proposing at the wedding: esp with a small business that act broke the trust between them and with a small business that trust in your employees is essential. It's clear the brother has some major judgement issues so I don't blame them for firing him.
The brothers really need a sit down talk
If they cleared it with me or were caught up in the love and did it privately in a little corner i think that would be okay! I wouldnt want a big fuss though and i would appreciate the announcement not be made until the next day. Also i would want to be the first to hear the big news!
With both of my pregnancies my mom knew before i did, she's the one that told me to test lol
Love your videos
Jamie, I LOVE YOUR LOOK in this video! So stylish!
Imagine loving your brother /so much/ that your first reaction to an argument is to cut off their livelihood 😅 I'm saying this as someone with siblings and someone who would overall not want to have proposals during her wedding: some people lose their freaking mind when they get married. Seriously, all these Reddit stories are starting to make me nervous about attending weddings in the future 😂
12:58 was a perfect reaction. Should be a GIF. *Edit* : 15:18 too! You have wonderful facial expressions.
Love that she mentioned Dave Ramsey! So much overlap in her realm and the Ramsey realm.
Who wants to propose at someone else's wedding? Don't you want your own special little moment with the person you are asking to marry you? And what if they say NO?!!!
Oh my goodness, yes, on the morning sickness thing. I was 5 1/2 months pregnant with a clear baby bump and fitting into pants that were a little too snug just before my pregnancy. The struggle is real.
Jamie. Your hair is amazing.
I can't believe so many people said NTA for the guy who fired his brother! Yes, proposing at someone's wedding without their permission is a bad move, but it's more socially unaware than malicious. Taking away someone's livelihood as a result is super unethical and extreme
Yep, I was also wondering if he might be able to sue for wrongful termination, since that doesn’t seem like a valid reason for firing (professionally speaking)
I do think that he should receive a real apology from his brother for the proposal fiasco. But firing him does seem a bit overboard. In this case, the punishment doesn’t fit the crime, as it were.
@@spiralbuddy Depends on location, by state in the US, if there's no contract in place specifying otherwise. Many states have at-will employment, where an employee can be fired at any time for any reason (except protected characteristics, which doesn't include proposing at your brother's wedding, lol)
I'm petty, I'd announce our pregnancy at his wedding, and be showing everyone the ultrasound.
Or, better, turn it into a gender reveal. Best man speech? Pffff nah, it's gonna be best new dad speech! After a nice aside about what a great aunt and uncle they'll be, time for colored poppers to reveal the gender! It's gonna be so cool to have those paied for by brother professional photos of our moment❤
Agree on the second one, firing your brother because you're mad at him is definitely NOT the solution. Of course emotions would be high, but it's hiiiighly unprofessional to retaliate in the job sphere for something that happened in the personal sphere. Hugely immature...the whole situation could be avoided with a little communication! (like all of these scenarios lol)
In the third one,if OP had made the announcement despite her sister changing her mind that would have been bad. But instead, she was very respectful and just told her parents
R.I.P. Toast 💔
👏🏻DO👏🏻NOT👏🏻PROPOSE👏🏻AT👏🏻SOMEONE👏🏻ELSE'S👏🏻WEDDING👏🏻AND👏🏻STEAL👏🏻THEIR👏🏻THUNDER👏🏻IT👏🏻IS👏🏻THEIR👏🏻DAY👏🏻NOT👏🏻YOURS👏🏻THERE👏🏻ARE👏🏻364👏🏻OTHER👏🏻DAYS👏🏻IN👏🏻THE👏🏻YEAR👏🏻TO👏🏻PROPOSE👏🏻
I love ya Jamie 🫶🏼
Wow cool to see you doing wedding reaction content this could be huge for your channel it does amazing for charlotte dobre
Very pretty 😍 (always but especially today)
I would want if someone was planning to propose at my wedding, would only be ok with it if was someone close to me
Rip Toasty😢
I wouldn't mind if someone proposed or made a personal announcement at my wedding _provided they got my permission in advance and we agreed at what point in the wedding it happened._ So not in the middle of the ceremony, for example.
For the 2nd "AITA," I agree with the groom. Yes, I'm petty AF but I totally support the groom's decision to fire his brother.
I don’t think asking the brother (that proposed who ended up turning the wedding reception into his engagement party) to pay for some of it is unreasonable. I think firing his brother wasn’t the right answer because job and reception are separate things. But depending how much time their proposal stole from the wedding they could pay for that time.
Hard and fast rule is don’t propose at someone else’s big event without consent. Plus now my engagement isn’t special. We don’t have our own day really. So I think it’s in poor taste overall.
If your Brother acts like this on your day I wouldn't trust him anymore in general, so he would be fired immiedietly. But there would be a talk about why
The pregnancy NONannoucement...Sister was never planning to announce OP's pregnancy. Sister made that up so that OP wouldn't announce before rhe wedding. Sounds like OP would have been fine just telling their parents straight away and announcing after the wedding. OP needs to stop apologizing and reaching out. OP did nothing wrong.
Never got why people feel entitled to other’s money!
I wonder if the sister had no intentions of announcing at all, and hated that her parents knew about it on that day even though she had zero idea. The fact that she’s still not speaking to her sis, she might feel like she’s competing with the child so odd and sad situation
Not to be dramatic but proposing at someone else’s wedding is absolutely psycho 😂😂😂
announcing it in the speeches is obviously awful. it sucks for both the newlyweds and possibly the woman being proposed to.
I'm not sure how I'd feel about being asked about that, but I can imagine a non-announced proposal being OK without asking. speaking as someone who wouldn't want a surprise proposal (and definitely not a public spectacle), an "I want to marry you" conversation between the couple 1. is a necessary part of the getting engaged process & 2. could be considered a proposal for me/people who don't value the down-on-one-knee ritual.
so, picture the scene. someone is at a beautiful venue, at an event that is about the love of 2 people and their choice to bring together their families and make a new family, and they look at their partner. they already knew they were emotionally committed, but now they want this. not the pretty dress and all the flowers, but to legally & symbolically become a family with this person. and then they say "I think I want to marry you".
is that a proposal? to some people, no. to some people, this would be a declaration of intent, which should be followed up with a down-on-one-knee ritual fairly soon. but if the couple don't value that ritual, and consider themselves "engaged" now? yeah, I think that counts.
(and, yes, if it does count, I'm sure some people would hate that it happened on their day. but I don't think it'd cause disruption)
1. NTA. OP has more self control than i do. If that had been me the wedding would have to be cancelled on account of the bride-to-be being in hospital. I don't normally head straight for violence but someone talking about animals like that just pushes my buttons.
3: is it bad that part of me thinks sis never intended to say anything at the wedding? She just didn't want anyone to know about the pregnancy before her wedding for fear that it would overshadow her wedding.
❤🧡💛💚💙💜
1. NTA in anyway. Expecally after the dog comment. I lot my childhood dog and it is the worst depression I've ever experienced. I would do the same thing. Your brother needs to ger his head on straight.
2. NTA. For me the only way I would be okay with it is if it is a very good friend of both of us and they asked and got permission, but other then that nope. I wouldn't fire him but he clearly doesn't care about you and/or your wife so why care about him? I think you did good by giving him comp. I agree with the first comment, he took your reception and made it about him so he can pay for his part of the party since he turned it into an engagement party. I do think this is him being indecent because he did something that is so clearly against etiquette and did not ask permission. Also the big part of this being NTA is that he did it without permission and he did it during his speech which should be about the couple.
3. NTA. Your sister could have told you she changed her mind so you could talk with your mom. Shes TA for making you wait when you went through a lot. Also you only told your parents and not in a big show and they did not make it into a big deal where it took away from the wedding couple.
Only way to propose at a wedding is to include the bride and groom in it, the ones where the flowers is handed by the bride are suer cute but if it's not a pre planned thing, nah, super uncomfortable to watch.
Number 2 is a don't bite the hand that feeds you situation. It's disrespectful and inappropriate. You pay tons of money for your wedding and it is absolutely unacceptable for someone to steal the spotlight. Brother is the asshole initially, however I am almost positive it is illegal to fire someone for a personal issue that has absolutely nothing to do with their job. Family or not, you're his boss and that comes with its own responsibilities it is an overreaction to hinder his source of income. The severance doesn't make up for the loss of regular income or job security. This is why you don't work with family. Because it needs to be separate and its extremely difficult for it to stay that way. Everyone sucks here but the younger brother who blatantly disrespected his brother at his wedding after his brother did everything in their power to help them out is the biggest asshole. A wedding is not your day to propose, its someone elses day and you did not pay to have everyone there for you. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Malice or ignorance, it's not acceptable and your actions have consequences, even ones we may not foresee.
announce/propose at my wedding but LET ME KNOWWWW first. i can coordinate it well, so people don't look at you like you're an ass for annoucing/proposing at my wedding
Absolutely not. If anyone announces anything or pops a proposal I'll never speak to them again after. Regardless of who it was, if they asked it would be a no. We're spending so much on the wedding for us, its OUR day, I don't want our spotlight stolen from us.
It makes me mad someone claiming a proposal "ruined" their wedding day. A groom I knew DIED on his wedding day. THAT ruins a wedding! This statement is so extremely selfish and unthoughtful.
I would have LOVED having someone propose on my wedding :) I absolutely don't understand all the hate about it (except if the person to be proposed to does not like a public proposal). Asking the question literally takes TEN SECONDS! Of course, the person asking should have talked to their partner beforehand to minimize the chance that they will say no, and it wouldn't be okay to plan a 30 minutes proposal event for a wedding because receptions already are short and it would be super rude to take those time of someone who payed a huge amount of money for this, but how can anyone angry about not being the center of attention for a few SECONDS? I don't get it.
Im not intending to offend you, but it seems like you have zero insecurities based on these AITAS, and that’s kinda hard to believe- can you share with us if you do have any insecurities? I think it would help some people find the content a little more relatable if that makes sense?
I literally don't know what this means. She stated in this very video that she and her husband were having secondary infertility and it was hard for her, and that she broke down upon finally getting pregnant. That IS and insecurity, and a very vulnerable one at that.
Huh?? No, it doesn’t make sense. Why would she need to be insecure when reacting to these situations and giving advice? People watch her channel because she knows what she’s talking about and is a total bad ass! 🙌🏻