I fought a guy who attacked a girl. My mother said, "Fighting is never the answer." My dad looked at mom with aggrivation and said, "Good job, son. I'm proud of you." I thank God for my dad.
Thank you for doing the honorable thing for the girl. My son did the same thing when he was a freshman in high school for someone being bullied. The school expelled him, but I've always been proud that he stood up for someone. Sometimes fighting is the ONLY answer.
My grandson (A student, good kid all around) got sent to in school suspension for "fighting." He stood up for a kid who was being bullied. My daughter at work asked me to pick him up from school (before she could get there to read out the woke authorities, and rightly so). I told him he did the right thing and I was proud of him. He also told me that in school suspension was great because he could read all day. 'Nuff said.
Being a mom of a son who was headstrong and had to learn from his mistakes the hard way, I had to learn to let things happen. He is now an amazing man.
Same here! My son is an amazing young man, but, just like me... he seemed to need to learn all the lesson I'd already learned the hard way, and wanted so desperately to save him from...but, he had to learn, and I had to learn to sit back (within reason) and let him come to the same conclusions I did 31 years earlier. At least with him, unlike me, I am a very supportive parent (mine were abusive Narcs) and I saw him struggle to understand what went wrong! I knew, I knew very well, and THERE, in that I was able to teach him!! I have always given him all the love he has wanted and needed. I never once heard the words I love you from my parents. In the 13 years I was with my father before my mother left him, and the 45 years I was with my mother... never once, no matter how often I said it to her, did she ever say it back! She'd stare at me for a moment, then either walk away or carry on the conversation. He has never not known love from me. We both had ADHD and autism (I wasn't diagnosed until 2019 at 49) so he has a ways to go before he'll be "mature". He's developmentally about 13 but making progress as we take this wild ride called life.
@@KP-hx5jo Yes, It is. But you can do this. Let him go do as much as you can, pray, and have Faith that you have prepared him. When it is something he absolutely should not do, explain to him why in the most logical way possible. Tell him what he needs to do to be able to accomplish this task. And then let him do so.
I have a headstrong son. He's already turning into a great guy at 13. But when I was single I knew a boy who terrorized our church with stubborn refusal to do anything other's asked of him. PDA to the extreme. His patient parents were saints. Not mollycoddle-types, but calm, firm truth tellers. That kid had everyone against him except his parents because of his extreme behavior. I saw his mom 25 years later. She proudly showed me pictures of him, his wife and children. He's doing extremely well. He admits he was out of control and his parents did him right by showing him the truth calmly. There is hope for every child!
My son has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. He had earned it while in 7th grade. He was small for his age. Some 8th graders thought they could beat him up. Needless to say, he defended himself against 6 bullies. The principal got the whole story, never told us. We didnt find out about this until he was a Senior in High School. I asked him why the Junior Hi principal didnt tell us. He said the principal declared it a clear case of self defense and called ambulances as needed. That was in the 90's of course it would be a totally different story if that happened today.
Nowadays,the onlookers would say,"This violence is hurting my inner growth emotional habitat.I believe I need to go to my safe place and,after school,have Mommy go buy me an emotional service dog."
It really needs to go that way today too. It’s grossly unjust to punish any person for defending themselves or someone else from bullying or God only knows what else nowadays.
I have 2 sons in their 20s. My advice is: remember that your goal is to raise them to men who can lead. Which inherently includes conflict. Anytime you can let them lead, let them. And in the teenage years, remember that their job is to split from you and learn to be their own person. Painful for us, to say the least. One of my sons made this easy. The other one really rejected me, my values, etc. At that point, the goal became to keep him alive until his brain was fully grown. (About 24 yrs.) He made it! And now it's easy. Parenting is now listening, asking if I can help, and encouraging. I remember that THEY AREN'T ME! They don't make the choices I would.
My son's dad left when he was entering junior high. A male friend, raised by a single mom, said:"You are the alpha male now. If he needs straightening out or a chore to do, there's no reasoning, cajoling or bargaining. Use few words, give a time frame and consequences, walk away. Come back to inspect." It was the best advice I got. My son and I had few fights and began working as a team.
I had similar upbringing. My parents where separated when I was young.. My mother was a great woman. I lost her when I was 12 . Her and I were in a bad car accident. We were hit head on by a drunk driver. I watch her die. It was the worst moment of my life. I remember all of it like it was yesterday. 39 now.. and it still is amazing the things she use to tell me. Lesson and advice about life. Be a good man. Always love your wife etc. it was like she knew she wouldn’t be there. Although my time with my mom was short. It was still important. And I will be forever great full for that.
I'm so sorry for your loss and especially for you to witness such a tragedy. 💔 I can relate. My Dad died from a massive heart attack right in front of me. CPR did not bring him back. It took years to not feel at fault. May God bring peace to your heart, and may the good memories fill your soul. ❤
My son had a very similar experience with his father at the age of 12. So sad and unimaginable. I lost my mom at 16 as she was struck by a car walking across highway. But I was not there to watch. That hurts my heart for my son. You too.
😭😭😭 I hate you had to experience this. I have three boys; 14, 6, 2. I pray God allows me to live long enough to enjoy their grand kids. Man. Praise God for the wisdom she imparted. Sending my hugs and love🙏🏽🩵
I’m so sorry that happened. How very sad. I’m also 39 and lost my mom at the age of 16 to a car accident. So glad you received this life lessons early. Much love
I was raised by a single mom who had to dump my loser, alcoholic dad and rebuild our lives when I was very young. I am so thankful for her courage, intelligence, and compassion. She ended up earning a Ph.D. and remarrying. She is one of my heroes.
My father was also an alcoholic. He tried to kill my mother and us children. The best thing I ever did was to forgive him. It freed me of the hate. It took me 32 years to do that but Thank God.
My sons were small. When I saw one of them being bullied, I refused to allow him into the car to go home until he finished what the bully started. Both boys, the bully's parents, and I wound up in the principal's office with the police. I received a warning for encouraging a fight on the schoolyard. The police said, "If you do that again, we'll have to arrest you." I turned to my son and said that I'd gladly go to jail if that's what it took for him to defend himself. It was never necessary because everyone knew my sons had a steadfast mom at their back.
I commend you for standing up and taking that warning of jail for your son. That will stick with him the rest of his life. Its important in this day and age to be brave about this stuff. It seems we have thrown away what worked and kept society civil. Its a shame that mow bullies are allowed to bully and do whatever without any concern of someone defending themselves. We need to teach our kids that truth is absolute and just because the world is crazy right now doesn’t mean we have to join it or put up with the crud. Its ok to defend yourself and those you care for and even strangers who find themselves in these circumstances. The more of us willing to stand up for what is right in the face of possible negative consequences, the sooner this insanity may stop.
They actually threatened to arrest you over that? That's gotta be the stupidest thing I've heard today. Absolutely your son should defend himself. Or learn how to, if he currently can't.
I told my son the first time they're trying you. I said the 2nd time they're testing you and theyre being stupid. I said the 3rd time you turn around and mop the floor w said child. And while your doing it you say leave me alone do not mess w me because I will defend myself. ...my son came home and said momma I did it! That boy ain't ever gunna mess w me again. No word from the school bout said bully!
It probably could be labeled as inciting a fight between minors. Not saying it's right to arrest a parent over that situation, but the wording of what happened is how they justify things@@ceinwenchandler4716
@@VelveteenRabbit77 Yeah, no kidding. She shouldn't have gotten in trouble for that, and I hope you told her so. Sounds like she won the fight, so good for her on that count, too.
I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my first and it's a boy. I grew up in a military family, but it was all girls except my step-father. I needed this video more than I knew. I'm still anxious about being a boy mom, and working in education I'm also worried about raising him in the world we live in today, but I hope that I can provide the same kind of love, protection, and stability your mother gave you.
Dont placate and try to make things "all better" and smooth for him. Let him help you with work by the time he wants to help. Work first play later and lots of hugs!
I wanted a girl so much. Then my son was born and I knew I could have 10 boys and be happy because he is the best and so is his brother! You got this mama!
Mother of two boys, ages 25 and 21. They've made me cry, laugh, scratch my head in confusion, smile with admiration and shake with fear for their lives. They've got the scars of an adventurous childhood. I've always told them two things: "Even when I'm made at you, I love you." and "Safety 3rd. Adventure is 1st and knowledge is 2nd. Without adventure, people would do nothing. With adventure, they gain knowledge and learn ways to adventurer safer." Thank you for this heart-felt message. You've put into words the many thoughts I've had since becoming a mother. Personally, I believe the most important 'career' a woman can have is raising children. Everything else pales in comparison. Do it even half right, and the rewards last a lifetime.
I ended up crying through this one, I was widowed at 37 weeks pregnant, and I've worried endlessly about how to navigate transforming this little boy into a man without my husband. If someday he is to get into a fight under the same circumstances, though, I'd be proud, and surely so would his father.
As a mom of 3 grown, wonderful,Christian, loving, mature, intelligent, caring sons, I appreciate your words so much. I am blessed and fortunate to have my husband of 41 years still by my side and Christ as the CENTER of our home, and this is now how they are living their lives, as well. I am constantly amazed by them. I wanted 3 boys when I was growing up-- the 3rd of 3 girls, and God answered my "wants" with the 3 best sons in the whole wide world!!
I’m a momma of 2 sons and a daughter. What you’ve shared is so true. My “babies” are no longer babies but young men and a teenage daughter. I, too, am a nurse and we’ve gone through some difficult doozies over the years. It resonated deeply with me. Thankfully my husband, their father, is a stand up man/husband/father and has stepped up every time it was needed and has always been an excellent role model. Thank you so much for sharing all of this. Thank you for taking the time to share this from a man’s point of view. God bless you ☺️
~tears~ would have loved to known your mom while I was raising mine. We seem to think along the same ways. When my son got suspended for fighting he too had every right. I told him I was proud of him but he wasn't going to stay home from school and do nothing so he had to rake the yard all day. He got upset about the fact that the neighbor kids were suspended too but allowed to go have fun on the fourwheeler. I told him that I'm your mama. Not theirs and I don't want my son to grow into doing things wrong just to get out of responsibility. He's since thanked me for different reasons. Your mom sounds like a great lady. And she did phenomenal with her children.
TY for sharing . Beautifully said . I remember when i was young . You never think your mum gets sick . They are invincible . Then as you get older you realise they do get sick,hurt,they have feelings ❤ Love you mum ♥️
61 years old, congestive heart failure, father of 3 adult sons from 2 ex-wives. I lost my Mom in 2019 after losing my Dad in 2018. She was amazing. So was my Dad. I was however too much of a Mama's boy. This definitely made becoming a Canadian Infantryman in 1980 a wake up call. Mother's love your sons don't coddle them. Great words Mr. Freitas!!
Too bad I didn’t find out some of this when I was single mothering my son. You and he are roughly the same age. I was completely clueless about males and how to raise them. I learned SO much watching my son father HIS son. I don’t know how he turned out to be the man he is, but God does! Now my grandboy is 19 and married and has a good head on his shoulders and knows what God meant men to be. I am so proud of both of my men!
Just had my firstborn, a son, a month ago. This is exactly how I pray to be for him! Thank you so much for sharing this! It honestly means more than you know! Especially to a new mom who doesn’t want to screw anything up!
Well be prepared because you will! If you think you can do everything perfectly you are wrong and setting yourself up for a life of stress and misery for both you and your son. He doesn’t need a type A personality standing over him. He needs a mom who will screw up occasionally but has the courage to go to him and admit you screwed up and apologize. It will let him know that it’s ok to screw up but don’t beat yourself up over it and be man enough to apologize. With the words “I’m sorry” not “I apologize.”
@@user-vm5ud4xw6n I’m far from a type A personality. I’m aware I’m going to make mistakes, there’s no such thing as a perfect parent, but not wanting to screw my kid up isn’t setting myself up for failure, it’s a determination to do the best that I can in every situation. My best, not someone else’s definition of best.
Prayer is key to raising both boys and girls... keep praying for them and for wisdom for yourself all through their lives. Adult children still need the prayers of their parents (and vice versa!) My own mother prayed for me all my life until her death and now my elderly aunt prays for me, which I appreciate immensely even though I am in my 60's !
I'm thinking you're going to be a great mom for your son. Aware, loving/caring, open to learning. It doesn't get much better than those qualities in a mom, they'll lead to all the other important ones.
My parents divorced when I was 6. My dad ignored me heavily and that's not to bring anything negative into this. Much like Nick mentioned my parents never stated anything negative about each other. However, they took different paths. If you're a single mom my biggest suggestion to you is be patient. Boys are....different. She gave me different perspectives and loved me for me. The number one rule is always care for us. Teach us what you want from a man. It's a weird dynamic. Believe me it makes a difference. Love you, Ma. We're different but it is what it is.
I was a single Mom to a now 26 yr old son. He was very stubborn but I didn’t take any crap from him. I allowed my son to experience life, which can be hard. He saw his dad maybe once or twice a month. It wasn’t easy but he’s a successful man now💕
When you said " My mom had my back " My heart jumped because this ALONE helped me to my highest self because my mom had my back . Bravo for great Moms !
Thank you for your service!❤ Thank you Nick for being the example to males that a lot of parentless, guidanceless, Godless "guys" so desperately need to hear! Prayers for health and safety!🙏❤️🙏
Thank you for this video. I have been raising my son alone since he was 8 and my husband died. I had him at 45- there is a 25 year difference in age from my other 2 children so he was raised as an only child and it’s been just him and me for the last 10 years. Like your mom I had to be the tough mom to an exuberant son many times. But I’ve learned compassion in his teenage years and have had to learn how to let him learn valuable life lessons without making it all better. Just recently he was in a situation where he had to face consequences and be accountable for his actions and he asked me what he should do. I told him to be honest and face the consequences, that that is what being a man is, taking responsibility. He did so and even though he made poor choices to begin with, he took responsibility and held himself accountable. I was so proud of him. He is 18 and goes to college, gets good grades, and holds down 2 part time jobs. I’ve worried about him, pray for him constantly, and with God’s intervention he is on the road to becoming a man of character. But it’s been quite a journey!
YES! I was hoping for this! Thank you!! Edit: now that I have watched the whole thing please know that A) I did not give you the permission to make me cry tonight lol and B) I didn’t really grow up around any males. They were always such a mystery to me and I had no idea how to raise my son. I’ve only been able to depend on my husband to help me mother our son. This video though- 🤯 Thank you so much.
BECAUSE you depend on your husband, that actually helps. Your kids see that. That your husband is important to you, that he helps you. That with him you are more. Keep your stick on the ice!
My first born was born very similar to your situation almost sounds identical. I was 20 and I just remember having to keep talking to my wife and tell her everything is ok while she was turning blue. All glory to God it worked out for me as well we now have 4 children.
As a single Mom of sons, this is priceless! Thank you Nick, your words are encouraging and wise! Your wife and family are blessed to have you- a gift from God♡
Good question...great response...my son is your age , a husband and father now and 1500 miles away...sigh... I treasure our phone conversations and texts ! This video was forwarded to him . He's a fine man . And yes , I miss him , but am proud of the way he now handles life ! Be safe and well , Nick !
I am an 81-yr-old mother of a son and a daughter. How I wish I could have heard from someone like you when I was a young mother. My son and I are estranged and I believe I am very much to blame. I had been raised around girls and hadn't any idea what to do with that little boy whom I loved with all my heart. My Love alone was not enough. He is now a 55-yr-old family man & professional, good at what he does and I am proud of him. But he bears the emotional scars of my inept mothering. Thank you for reaching out to parents with your wisdom and experience.
When I was a young child, I had a dream in which I saw two people fighting fiercely. Then, I saw an image of Blessed Mary of Jesus coming between them. As soon as She arrived, the fight stopped and peace ensued. Pray to Blessed Mary so that She can mend the relationship between you and your son, and She will do it.
@@miroslavmajer5155Thank you for the testimony of your dream. Not being Catholic, it has not been my practice to pray to her. But I will because of your encouragement.
@@phylliswindes5526 God bless you. But don't thank to me - all glory, all praising to God and to God only. I am just a God's servant, nothing else. So, thank to Him, not to me.
This is such a perfect tribute to your mom (and your wife!). I was in tears most of this video, so I can't imagine how she must feel watching it. When I saw your video about advice for men raising sons, I was hoping to also see a video JUST like this. You did not disappoint. Not only did your mom raise an amazing man, but she also gave us (your viewers) a wonderful person to look to for advice, information, and knowledge. My ultimate goal in life is to raise my two toddler sons to be good, brave, and happy men. This is scary to do as a single mother in this world right now, but I have hope since there are families like yours in the world that still cherish the meaning of family, the roles of men and women, and giving back to other people in the world even if you have never met them. Basically, what im saying in a LONG comment is, thank you to you and your wife for sharing your lives with us, and a BIG thank you to your mama. ❤
Nick, you are such a wonderful man and a great role model. Your wife is a wonderful woman and your children will be very great adults. I pray for you and your family. God bless you. I can only pray that my children feel the same about my husband and I
God bless your mom, and God bless you and your family. Thank you so much for sharing with us. As a mom to a toddler boy, I cannot express fully, my gratitude for this. ❤🙏
Now that I am pregnant with my second boy, I asked my father what advice he has for a mother of boys. And all he said was “love them”. And couldn’t say much else because he was about to cry. His mother passed several years ago and she was the absolute best. Thanks for the good cry haha I’m aligned with everything you said so it is a comfort.
Dude thank you so much for this. As a dad in my mid forties, I'm struggling with some things like this with my 18 year old son. We just went through some big changes. My biggest challenge has been not wanting to be what my father was to me, but instead I found all new ways to screw up and hurt my child. We're on the right path back out of it, God willing, but it's been hard. I appreciate you, your wisdom, and what you are willing to offer in terms of vulnerability, honesty, and well - just being you. Thanks man.
I am a boy mom! My youngest is now 16, I love love love my young men! Strong, independent, self-sufficient, hard-working men who take full accountability in everything they do. They are everything I admire about their father, my husband. Plus so much more!
After my divorce, i made a deliberate decision to stay in a neighboring town so my son could see his dad on a regular basis. I also felt very strongly about keeping in contact with my son's parental grandparents. They were such good role models!
Thanks Nick, got me emotional too. I have 4 kids. Two girls - strong, intelligent and independent young ladies. And two boys, autistic boys - one (9) is very gentle and hesitant and the other is a little hurricane (4, lots of brain, lots of strength and no breaks). I do my best to make them feel both capable and responsible. So I appreciate hearing how important it is from your perspective.
I have twin boys, age 14, whose father was taken before they were born. They've not had a male mentor or role model even in their grandfathers. I've had to be both mom and "dad." Thank you for this.
Beautiful tribute to your mom and great advice. My son has thanked me for not being a helicopter mom and not being embarrassing, like a lot of other hockey moms. Not indulging, such wise advice. He is a loving and kind man while also morally strong. Being the only child of a single mother, I’ve learned so much from my son. We have a wonderful relationship and I’m so grateful and privileged to be his mother. Thank you for doing this video.
Thank you for much needed information. I'm the grandmother of a 7 year old boy who is absolutely the apple of my eye. I had 2 daughters so dealing with a little boy is newt me. When he was a toddler he was easy, but now he has some opinions and he likes to teach me things, both of which I love. My questions are how he receives love from me. His parents don't impose rules and I do. Very gently, ie "You took it out, so you put it away and I will help you." Hearing this advice from you is priceless. I NEED to know what boys need as they are growing up. Thank you so much!
Thank you so much, Sir! I have two sons in their 40s. I so appreciated all of your insights, and I am very sure your Mom is proud to call you her son. ❤️ 😮😊
Nick, THANK YOU SO VERY, VERY MUCH for sharing this!!! You will never know how much I needed to hear this today! GOD'S BIGGEST AND BEST BLESSINGS TO YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL FAMILY!!!🥰🥰🥰🥰
Thank you for these videos! As a mother of 5, ranging from 15 years to 2 months old, these videos offer wonderful insight and advice. Bless you and your family!
My husband has dealt with some pretty tough stuff in his 30s and has dealt with it well, but it hasn’t been easy. There was one day when I had to go to work but I know he was struggling to keep his grip. I didn’t look at it as weakness, but I couldn’t be there that day, so I called his mom. She dropped everything went to our house with lunch in hand for the two of them from his favorite place and sat on our couch and watched our tv for the afternoon while he worked from home in his office. I thought he might be mad or embarrassed that I had called her but that night he thanked me for knowing that just having her come hang out and tell him it was all going to be ok and just being there helped him make it through that day. They have a great relationship, it’s not overbearing and respects him as a man and respects our family boundaries. My own mother is not my model of a mom, my mother-in-law is.
I had to cry when you talked about your first daughter beeing born. When my first child was about to be born I thought I will not survive. But when he finally came, every pain was forgotten. I can not imagine what your wife went through. Thank God that your daughter is well ❤🙏🏻
Agree, I was 19 and so uninformed about birth. It was the mid 80’s, I had no support or advice, I had no idea birth would be so horrific, as I breathed into a brown paper bag because I was hyperventilating, I thought for sure I would die. My husband sat in a chair reading a newspaper, irritated because I was thrashing around in the bed moaning, he flipped down the corner, looked at me rolled his eyes and said, “your not the only one who’s ever had a baby”. That was the beginning of my life of hell.
Thank you for this. My son's dad passed away in 2019 when they were just 7 and 11. Most times I don't know if I am raising my boys right. But thankfully, my older son thanked me around Mother's Day for being strict and kept him based. A couple of years ago, he got a day's suspension for standing up against a bully. He certainly didn't get into trouble at home. Maybe I'm getting a couple of things right, eh?
As a mom, who’s mama passed when I was a little girl, thank you for making this video. I have 2 little boys, and 2 little girls, and I often feel like I have no idea what I’m doing, especially with my boys. I don’t have that reference that my mom would have given me if she could have. I see all these parents self help videos and such, but none of them talk about what moms of generations past did, like you did in this video. I am saving this, and plan to revisit it when I need reminders. Your mom sounds like such an amazing woman, and has been so blessed because of her diligence, and pouring her love into you. I want to be this kind of mom for my own children.❤️
Thank you, Nick Freitas. You are a sweet giant among true men. From a widow with twin boys who lost their loving, awesome dad at the age of 10. Good perspective, for sure.
My son had 2 loving parents. A mom who was home and a dad who worked alot so mom could be home. I watched this video because I wanted to see how what I did compared. My son is pushing 30. All I could say is Nick is right. Thank you Nick. I appreciated the perspective. I likely would not hear it from my son, but the outcome sure seems similar. You are a treasure Nick and even I thank your Mom.
Great job brother. I am sure you helped some moms today. As fathers we teach our sons to stand up for those who are weaker and help them. I always taught my sons and daughters to be strong and to never be a bully but to protect others from the bullies.
That feeling with sons, where they’re no longer your little guy, is heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time. It’s deeply uncomfortable but it’s worth the discomfort.
Thanks, Nick, for sharing this wonderful tribute to your mom, and for sharing another valuable lesson for anyone listening. Also, thank you for not editing out the tears. Another valuable lesson for men: it is okay--and, even important--to show your vulnerability as well as your strength 💝
This video felt pivotal to me. I am in a very similar situation. Mom and Dad divorced when I was a toddler. Lived with Mom during school years and visited Dad during summers. Only diverging point is I saw my mom had a lot of anger and didn't always handle it very well. Often times it was directed at me or I witnessed her wrath towards other family members, and I had no other siblings to help guide me or split the burden with. So it made things tough at all of the schools I went to...especially when people say "you are so mature for your age" and then I have to work around some of the stupidity or boorishness of my peers. Fast-Forward to today. I'm 25, currently serving right now, and although I do love my mother, it's getting to a point where I need her to give me some breathing room to be an adult. The past few times we've talked, it felt more like an Interrogation than a Conversation. At 25 I've never been in jail, never gotten in trouble with the law, or have gotten in a near-death situation. I graduated from a military college and am currently working as a commissioned officer, but she still treats me like I'm 10, and has even tried to tell me how I should run my life. I can't let her do that anymore. If she can't respect my autonomy, to the degree where she gets angry and violent when she doesn't get her way with me, then I'm going to have to loverher from a distance. I tell her all the time: "There is a difference between Mothering and Smothering." And she's writing that "s" in black ink with her actions. But still, this video gave me hope...thank you.
Wow. Fabulous! In my opinion, you are the type of man God envisioned for heading his earthly families. You would be a lesser man if your wonderful relationships never bring you to tears. Loving ones
This man is so spot on! My husband and I have 2 daughters and 2 sons. Our sons are 8 & 6 years old. I can literally FEEL the fact that they are no longer “little” boys and are looking to my husband and learning how to be tough and strong and stand up for yourself. It breaks my heart bc all I see is my baby boys but what I know is we are raising them to be men one day! God bless all good men! Thank you and as a woman and mother, I appreciate you.
Omg you had me in tears by the end. I can't appreciate this content enough. I was so scared to be a boy mum. Now I'm almost due my 2nd little boy. My first always wants to help his mummy and is so sweet. I want nothing more than to do my part in aiding him to be the wonderful man I know he can be some day
Thank you for sharing your heart with us Mr Nick 😤💞🙏🏻 God bless you and yours!! This Moms and Grandma appreciates you very much Sir! Blessings from Canada 🥰🍁🙏🏻
My mother was a WW-2 1st Lt Army corp nurse. She ran a tight ship and commanded respect and made sure that we followed through with whatever we started. She taught me to read and do math. She helped me start my first bank acct at 12 yrs old. She worked tirelessly as a nurse for 52 years and never complained. Lost her in 1994. I dearly miss her.
I’ve lived your Momma’s life and I also am Proud of all my kids. Four of them went Active Duty and yes you are so right on many things. As a Mommy, Momma and Mom it’s hard to let go when they are grown and 2 have been to War. Through that time my customers who are Vietnam Veterans told me I could not ask questions, allow them to come to me and talk as THEY NEEDED, not what I needed and I did as asked. My oldest is a Corpsman but he was on the Green side with his Brother Marines. The child I have Always loved came home with the laughter in his eyes completely silent. Learning that you can’t fix your grown child’s raw hurt sucks. I learned to slow down my emotions and I became a better listener. Inside my heart broke for the child who now stands before me as a Man fighting his Soul back to life. Many times my vets held my hand, wiped a fleeting tear and no words had to be said yet in those moments so much was understood. Many times his calls were filled with tears and I listened. Over 10 years plus I’ve learned that letting go doesn’t mean I’m not there for them if anything I’m there more but in the way THEY AS MEN NEED me. Trust, Believe , Cheer because the man I saw as they were little has shown THEIR MEN. God Bless your family Sir and your Mom ❤️
I am a mother of 3 boys. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your insight. It warms my heart that you have such fond feelings towards your mother. She sounds like an amazing woman who helped shape you into the honorable man you are today. Thank you for sharing
Nick I am so glad that I found your channel. I'm a fifty two year old man that that was wondering if there's any common sense left in this world. Especially on social media, Thank you keep doing what you're doing!
Loved this.. as a mum of three, 2 boys and a girl you helped reinforce I’m on the right path and with my amazing husband who, like you has had to tell me.. he’s not your baby anymore, I had that knowing he was right and I had to let by boy go and grow into a man ❤
That part about letting go of the little boy and not feeling needed, i think is so real!! I see it with my mom, she can’t let go and needs to feel needed and so my two 40 year old brothers still rely on her financially, every move they make they consult her and it’s sad because they don’t care for her as a grown man should for her mom but they look at her like 7-year-olds who need/ demand stuff from her
Very good episode Nick. It will help lot's of mother's. I was raised by a single father since i was 11 I didn't have much of a mother not by my choice but hers. I was raised by a contractor dad who owned his own company and in the country. I was raised tuff My daughter came when i was 16 and my son at 20 they were raised by a single mother in the beginning their father was always working out of state. In their teen years we divorced and he moved across state. With that being said i sore as teen mom to be the best i could be. I was blessed with children that choose to love and respect me put me on a pedistal that I don't deserve but, am honored to be on. My son also got suspended from school for punching a boy in the face for calling a girl the B word in the 3rd grade . I raised my son to fight for right do not fight to be right. To say what you mean and mean what you say to be a man of your word 💯. He told this boy that you do not call girls dirty names period. The boy grabbed the girl by the arm and said she is a fu.... B ## my son walked over and broke this boys nose. I was called immediately to come get him that was suspended from school for 3 days i said i will be there in 20 min. I showed up and my son was sitting in the chair worried . I will never forget it. I asked him was it worth it and do you stand behind it ! He said yes ma'am i do and would do it again ! I walked into the principles office found out the facts of what happened . Was told that there is 0 tolerance for fighting and my son hit first i said that was fine i opened the door to the office so my son could hear me loud and clear as i told the female principle. " I am proud of my son for taking action to keep some one safe from abuse from being grabbed and verbally abused that boy got what he deserved. Tell the parents of the broken noised boy to send me the bill i will pay it. Turns out . Not only did my son learn that i will stand behind him 💯 percent for right. He got a phone call from this boys parents telling him thank you for doing what needed to be done.
Wow. I had no idea your parents were divorced. You still became a solid and upright human being! Thanks for the helpful video. I am pregnant wth my first, and we're waiting to see if it's a boy or girl! My husband and I both are excited about either one.
That most beautiful moment of all the important women in your life needing help that you couldn’t provide, but to be there as the prayerful protector. Thanks for this today. I spend many hours worried if I have done right by my 20 year old son.
Thank you Nick for sharing that. As a mother of a 42 yr old son, that confirmation is so helpful to me, that maybe I did a few things right. He's turned out to be a good man.
Dang it, I’m so happy everyone in my house is asleep because I’m am bawling! My son is 5 and I try to make him feel strong and let him kill the spiders for me… and I hope and pray that I have this great of an impact on him. Thank you for this video.
I’m also a dad, 44, who thankfully had a great mom and I couldn’t tell you how much I appreciate what you’ve said here, Nick. My daughter spent the first 5 months of her life in Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, she was born at 23 weeks and 0 days and had a 15% chance when she was born. Two weeks prior my wife was bed ridden and in the hospital. It came to a point where I was gonna lose my unborn daughter and wife due to several factors including blood loss and sepsis. My mom passed away 3 years ago with a very aggressive leukemia, died 6 months to the day of her diagnosis. My parents split when I was young too but unfortunately I was the pawn in their game and got passed back & forth with messages to hurt one another. It sucked. To make it better my stepdad at the time was quite verbally and physically abusive so it took a long time to start working through that. The one most important lesson I chose to take away from that was to never follow the example I was given. Simply to do better, and in a way, fix the mistakes my dad & stepdad made with me. My mom was my mother, father and mentor in many ways. She taught me to clean, cook, do my laundry, everything I could at a very early age. She always said she wanted to raise her boys to be the kind of men that a woman would want, but also to be strong and independent enough to not need a woman. Through all the years I am still blown away at how she must have managed on her own like she did. I give her credit beyond description. Glad to hear this account from you Nick, thank you for this and although I’m not American, as an allied country I want to say thank you for all your service.
I fought a guy who attacked a girl. My mother said, "Fighting is never the answer." My dad looked at mom with aggrivation and said, "Good job, son. I'm proud of you." I thank God for my dad.
I’m proud of you, too! Glad that you did what you did. Good job!
Honour retained 👍💯
I'm surprised your mother said that. I would have hugged you.
Thank you for doing the honorable thing for the girl. My son did the same thing when he was a freshman in high school for someone being bullied. The school expelled him, but I've always been proud that he stood up for someone. Sometimes fighting is the ONLY answer.
Your mom isn't very bright, is she?
"Your kids need your attention, not your indulgence."
I'm writing that on my heart for when I become a mother.
As a mama of 3 boys, I can confirm. That is a very important aspect of mothering.
Amen
So true! No one can do it like you will. You already have a head start! Bless you ❤😊
Stop calling CHILDREN baby goats!
❤️
My grandson (A student, good kid all around) got sent to in school suspension for "fighting." He stood up for a kid who was being bullied. My daughter at work asked me to pick him up from school (before she could get there to read out the woke authorities, and rightly so). I told him he did the right thing and I was proud of him. He also told me that in school suspension was great because he could read all day. 'Nuff said.
❤️
🙌💪💗
He sounds like a great kid, worth homeschooling.
Kiddo has his priorities right
I remember a lot of people saying ISR (in school restriction) was great.
Being a mom of a son who was headstrong and had to learn from his mistakes the hard way, I had to learn to let things happen. He is now an amazing man.
Same here! My son is an amazing young man, but, just like me... he seemed to need to learn all the lesson I'd already learned the hard way, and wanted so desperately to save him from...but, he had to learn, and I had to learn to sit back (within reason) and let him come to the same conclusions I did 31 years earlier.
At least with him, unlike me, I am a very supportive parent (mine were abusive Narcs) and I saw him struggle to understand what went wrong! I knew, I knew very well, and THERE, in that I was able to teach him!! I have always given him all the love he has wanted and needed. I never once heard the words I love you from my parents. In the 13 years I was with my father before my mother left him, and the 45 years I was with my mother... never once, no matter how often I said it to her, did she ever say it back! She'd stare at me for a moment, then either walk away or carry on the conversation.
He has never not known love from me. We both had ADHD and autism (I wasn't diagnosed until 2019 at 49) so he has a ways to go before he'll be "mature". He's developmentally about 13 but making progress as we take this wild ride called life.
Oh I hear you! lol I had a large supply of band aids on hand.
Ahhh, I'm currently in the thick of this. I have really come to this realization. It's so hard and scary.
@@KP-hx5jo Yes, It is. But you can do this. Let him go do as much as you can, pray, and have Faith that you have prepared him. When it is something he absolutely should not do, explain to him why in the most logical way possible. Tell him what he needs to do to be able to accomplish this task. And then let him do so.
I have a headstrong son. He's already turning into a great guy at 13. But when I was single I knew a boy who terrorized our church with stubborn refusal to do anything other's asked of him. PDA to the extreme. His patient parents were saints. Not mollycoddle-types, but calm, firm truth tellers. That kid had everyone against him except his parents because of his extreme behavior. I saw his mom 25 years later. She proudly showed me pictures of him, his wife and children. He's doing extremely well. He admits he was out of control and his parents did him right by showing him the truth calmly. There is hope for every child!
My son has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. He had earned it while in 7th grade. He was small for his age. Some 8th graders thought they could beat him up. Needless to say, he defended himself against 6 bullies. The principal got the whole story, never told us. We didnt find out about this until he was a Senior in High School. I asked him why the Junior Hi principal didnt tell us. He said the principal declared it a clear case of self defense and called ambulances as needed. That was in the 90's of course it would be a totally different story if that happened today.
I love this story.
I had similar experiences as a kid/teen and thankfully a headteacher who was as understanding, also back in the 90s.
Especially if all 6 of them had pronoun issues. You’d be fighting “they” and “them” and who knows how many that would be!
Nowadays,the onlookers would say,"This violence is hurting my inner growth emotional habitat.I believe I need to go to my safe place and,after school,have Mommy go buy me an emotional service dog."
It really needs to go that way today too. It’s grossly unjust to punish any person for defending themselves or someone else from bullying or God only knows what else nowadays.
I have 2 sons in their 20s. My advice is: remember that your goal is to raise them to men who can lead. Which inherently includes conflict. Anytime you can let them lead, let them. And in the teenage years, remember that their job is to split from you and learn to be their own person. Painful for us, to say the least. One of my sons made this easy. The other one really rejected me, my values, etc. At that point, the goal became to keep him alive until his brain was fully grown. (About 24 yrs.) He made it! And now it's easy. Parenting is now listening, asking if I can help, and encouraging. I remember that THEY AREN'T ME! They don't make the choices I would.
My son's dad left when he was entering junior high. A male friend, raised by a single mom, said:"You are the alpha male now. If he needs straightening out or a chore to do, there's no reasoning, cajoling or bargaining. Use few words, give a time frame and consequences, walk away. Come back to inspect." It was the best advice I got. My son and I had few fights and began working as a team.
I had similar upbringing. My parents where separated when I was young.. My mother was a great woman. I lost her when I was 12 . Her and I were in a bad car accident. We were hit head on by a drunk driver. I watch her die. It was the worst moment of my life. I remember all of it like it was yesterday. 39 now.. and it still is amazing the things she use to tell me. Lesson and advice about life. Be a good man. Always love your wife etc. it was like she knew she wouldn’t be there. Although my time with my mom was short. It was still important. And I will be forever great full for that.
I'm so sorry for your loss and especially for you to witness such a tragedy. 💔
I can relate. My Dad died from a massive heart attack right in front of me. CPR did not bring him back. It took years to not feel at fault.
May God bring peace to your heart, and may the good memories fill your soul. ❤
I am so very, very sorry for your loss
My son had a very similar experience with his father at the age of 12. So sad and unimaginable. I lost my mom at 16 as she was struck by a car walking across highway. But I was not there to watch. That hurts my heart for my son. You too.
😭😭😭 I hate you had to experience this. I have three boys; 14, 6, 2. I pray God allows me to live long enough to enjoy their grand kids. Man.
Praise God for the wisdom she imparted. Sending my hugs and love🙏🏽🩵
I’m so sorry that happened. How very sad. I’m also 39 and lost my mom at the age of 16 to a car accident. So glad you received this life lessons early. Much love
I was raised by a single mom who had to dump my loser, alcoholic dad and rebuild our lives when I was very young. I am so thankful for her courage, intelligence, and compassion. She ended up earning a Ph.D. and remarrying. She is one of my heroes.
Your mom set a priceless example for you. She overcame a mountain of adversity. Very much a hero.
My father was also an alcoholic. He tried to kill my mother and us children. The best thing I ever did was to forgive him. It freed me of the hate. It took me 32 years to do that but Thank God.
You have to do that yourself put him in the corner just leave him on its not that difficult
God bless your mother❤❤❤
You know his mom had tears in her eyes watching this.
As a mother of two sons, Great job Mom🙏🏼💖🙏
My sons were small. When I saw one of them being bullied, I refused to allow him into the car to go home until he finished what the bully started. Both boys, the bully's parents, and I wound up in the principal's office with the police. I received a warning for encouraging a fight on the schoolyard. The police said, "If you do that again, we'll have to arrest you." I turned to my son and said that I'd gladly go to jail if that's what it took for him to defend himself. It was never necessary because everyone knew my sons had a steadfast mom at their back.
I commend you for standing up and taking that warning of jail for your son. That will stick with him the rest of his life.
Its important in this day and age to be brave about this stuff. It seems we have thrown away what worked and kept society civil.
Its a shame that mow bullies are allowed to bully and do whatever without any concern of someone defending themselves.
We need to teach our kids that truth is absolute and just because the world is crazy right now doesn’t mean we have to join it or put up with the crud. Its ok to defend yourself and those you care for and even strangers who find themselves in these circumstances.
The more of us willing to stand up for what is right in the face of possible negative consequences, the sooner this insanity may stop.
They actually threatened to arrest you over that? That's gotta be the stupidest thing I've heard today. Absolutely your son should defend himself. Or learn how to, if he currently can't.
I told my son the first time they're trying you. I said the 2nd time they're testing you and theyre being stupid. I said the 3rd time you turn around and mop the floor w said child. And while your doing it you say leave me alone do not mess w me because I will defend myself. ...my son came home and said momma I did it! That boy ain't ever gunna mess w me again. No word from the school bout said bully!
It probably could be labeled as inciting a fight between minors.
Not saying it's right to arrest a parent over that situation, but the wording of what happened is how they justify things@@ceinwenchandler4716
@@VelveteenRabbit77 Yeah, no kidding. She shouldn't have gotten in trouble for that, and I hope you told her so. Sounds like she won the fight, so good for her on that count, too.
I don't think I've ever heard it said so well.
Your mom did a great job.
Thank you for putting this out there.
I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my first and it's a boy. I grew up in a military family, but it was all girls except my step-father. I needed this video more than I knew. I'm still anxious about being a boy mom, and working in education I'm also worried about raising him in the world we live in today, but I hope that I can provide the same kind of love, protection, and stability your mother gave you.
Just remember to remind him not to get blood on your carpets and to always respect you and you'll do fine.
From a mum of boys ❤
Congratulations! You're going to love being a boy mom 🥰 Best wishes ❣️
You got this mama! It won't be easy all of the time, but all the times that are such a joy outweighs the hard.
Dont placate and try to make things "all better" and smooth for him. Let him help you with work by the time he wants to help. Work first play later and lots of hugs!
I wanted a girl so much. Then my son was born and I knew I could have 10 boys and be happy because he is the best and so is his brother! You got this mama!
Mother of two boys, ages 25 and 21. They've made me cry, laugh, scratch my head in confusion, smile with admiration and shake with fear for their lives. They've got the scars of an adventurous childhood. I've always told them two things: "Even when I'm made at you, I love you." and "Safety 3rd. Adventure is 1st and knowledge is 2nd. Without adventure, people would do nothing. With adventure, they gain knowledge and learn ways to adventurer safer."
Thank you for this heart-felt message. You've put into words the many thoughts I've had since becoming a mother. Personally, I believe the most important 'career' a woman can have is raising children. Everything else pales in comparison. Do it even half right, and the rewards last a lifetime.
I ended up crying through this one, I was widowed at 37 weeks pregnant, and I've worried endlessly about how to navigate transforming this little boy into a man without my husband.
If someday he is to get into a fight under the same circumstances, though, I'd be proud, and surely so would his father.
You got this! Be the best Mom you know how to be. Just pray and have faith.
As a mom of 3 grown, wonderful,Christian, loving, mature, intelligent, caring sons, I appreciate your words so much. I am blessed and fortunate to have my husband of 41 years still by my side and Christ as the CENTER of our home, and this is now how they are living their lives, as well. I am constantly amazed by them. I wanted 3 boys when I was growing up-- the 3rd of 3 girls, and God answered my "wants" with the 3 best sons in the whole wide world!!
That's so encouraging. I love my son so much and pray he becomes like this
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I’m a momma of 2 sons and a daughter. What you’ve shared is so true. My “babies” are no longer babies but young men and a teenage daughter. I, too, am a nurse and we’ve gone through some difficult doozies over the years. It resonated deeply with me. Thankfully my husband, their father, is a stand up man/husband/father and has stepped up every time it was needed and has always been an excellent role model. Thank you so much for sharing all of this. Thank you for taking the time to share this from a man’s point of view. God bless you ☺️
~tears~ would have loved to known your mom while I was raising mine. We seem to think along the same ways. When my son got suspended for fighting he too had every right. I told him I was proud of him but he wasn't going to stay home from school and do nothing so he had to rake the yard all day. He got upset about the fact that the neighbor kids were suspended too but allowed to go have fun on the fourwheeler. I told him that I'm your mama. Not theirs and I don't want my son to grow into doing things wrong just to get out of responsibility. He's since thanked me for different reasons. Your mom sounds like a great lady. And she did phenomenal with her children.
I would have done and said the same thing. You’re a good mama!
TY for sharing .
Beautifully said .
I remember when i was young .
You never think your mum gets sick .
They are invincible .
Then as you get older you realise they do get sick,hurt,they have feelings ❤
Love you mum ♥️
61 years old, congestive heart failure, father of 3 adult sons from 2 ex-wives. I lost my Mom in 2019 after losing my Dad in 2018. She was amazing. So was my Dad. I was however too much of a Mama's boy. This definitely made becoming a Canadian Infantryman in 1980 a wake up call. Mother's love your sons don't coddle them. Great words Mr. Freitas!!
Too bad I didn’t find out some of this when I was single mothering my son. You and he are roughly the same age. I was completely clueless about males and how to raise them. I learned SO much watching my son father HIS son. I don’t know how he turned out to be the man he is, but God does! Now my grandboy is 19 and married and has a good head on his shoulders and knows what God meant men to be. I am so proud of both of my men!
Just had my firstborn, a son, a month ago. This is exactly how I pray to be for him! Thank you so much for sharing this! It honestly means more than you know! Especially to a new mom who doesn’t want to screw anything up!
Well be prepared because you will! If you think you can do everything perfectly you are wrong and setting yourself up for a life of stress and misery for both you and your son. He doesn’t need a type A personality standing over him. He needs a mom who will screw up occasionally but has the courage to go to him and admit you screwed up and apologize. It will let him know that it’s ok to screw up but don’t beat yourself up over it and be man enough to apologize. With the words “I’m sorry” not “I apologize.”
@@user-vm5ud4xw6n I’m far from a type A personality. I’m aware I’m going to make mistakes, there’s no such thing as a perfect parent, but not wanting to screw my kid up isn’t setting myself up for failure, it’s a determination to do the best that I can in every situation. My best, not someone else’s definition of best.
Prayer is key to raising both boys and girls... keep praying for them and for wisdom for yourself all through their lives. Adult children still need the prayers of their parents (and vice versa!) My own mother prayed for me all my life until her death and now my elderly aunt prays for me, which I appreciate immensely even though I am in my 60's !
Book of Proverbs specifically addresses the “how to” of raising children. Very helpful.
I'm thinking you're going to be a great mom for your son. Aware, loving/caring, open to learning. It doesn't get much better than those qualities in a mom, they'll lead to all the other important ones.
As a mom of three successful men I am very proud of, thank you! They are all men who served our country and became productive, wonderful fathers.
My parents divorced when I was 6. My dad ignored me heavily and that's not to bring anything negative into this. Much like Nick mentioned my parents never stated anything negative about each other. However, they took different paths. If you're a single mom my biggest suggestion to you is be patient. Boys are....different. She gave me different perspectives and loved me for me. The number one rule is always care for us. Teach us what you want from a man. It's a weird dynamic. Believe me it makes a difference. Love you, Ma. We're different but it is what it is.
I was a single Mom to a now 26 yr old son. He was very stubborn but I didn’t take any crap from him. I allowed my son to experience life, which can be hard. He saw his dad maybe once or twice a month. It wasn’t easy but he’s a successful man now💕
When you said " My mom had my back " My heart jumped because this ALONE helped me to my highest self because my mom had my back . Bravo for great Moms !
Thank you for your service!❤ Thank you Nick for being the example to males that a lot of parentless, guidanceless, Godless "guys" so desperately need to hear!
Prayers for health and safety!🙏❤️🙏
Thank you for this video. I have been raising my son alone since he was 8 and my husband died. I had him at 45- there is a 25 year difference in age from my other 2 children so he was raised as an only child and it’s been just him and me for the last 10 years. Like your mom I had to be the tough mom to an exuberant son many times. But I’ve learned compassion in his teenage years and have had to learn how to let him learn valuable life lessons without making it all better. Just recently he was in a situation where he had to face consequences and be accountable for his actions and he asked me what he should do. I told him to be honest and face the consequences, that that is what being a man is, taking responsibility. He did so and even though he made poor choices to begin with, he took responsibility and held himself accountable. I was so proud of him. He is 18 and goes to college, gets good grades, and holds down 2 part time jobs. I’ve worried about him, pray for him constantly, and with God’s intervention he is on the road to becoming a man of character. But it’s been quite a journey!
😭 as a boy Mom this meant a lot to me. I needed to hear this advice.
YES! I was hoping for this! Thank you!!
Edit: now that I have watched the whole thing please know that
A) I did not give you the permission to make me cry tonight lol and
B) I didn’t really grow up around any males. They were always such a mystery to me and I had no idea how to raise my son. I’ve only been able to depend on my husband to help me mother our son. This video though- 🤯
Thank you so much.
BECAUSE you depend on your husband, that actually helps. Your kids see that. That your husband is important to you, that he helps you. That with him you are more.
Keep your stick on the ice!
My first born was born very similar to your situation almost sounds identical. I was 20 and I just remember having to keep talking to my wife and tell her everything is ok while she was turning blue. All glory to God it worked out for me as well we now have 4 children.
As a single Mom of sons, this is priceless!
Thank you Nick, your words are encouraging and wise! Your wife and family are blessed to have you- a gift from God♡
Good question...great response...my son is your age , a husband and father now and 1500 miles away...sigh...
I treasure our phone conversations and texts ! This video was forwarded to him . He's a fine man .
And yes , I miss him , but am proud of the way he now handles life ! Be safe and well , Nick !
This is beautiful. Thank you! I have all sons. No daughters. I really needed to hear this. Thank You 💞🙏🏼🕊️
Perfectly said, Nick. Thank you.
I am an 81-yr-old mother of a son and a daughter. How I wish I could have heard from someone like you when I was a young mother. My son and I are estranged and I believe I am very much to blame. I had been raised around girls and hadn't any idea what to do with that little boy whom I loved with all my heart. My Love alone was not enough. He is now a 55-yr-old family man & professional, good at what he does and I am proud of him. But he bears the emotional scars of my inept mothering.
Thank you for reaching out to parents with your wisdom and experience.
When I was a young child, I had a dream in which I saw two people fighting fiercely. Then, I saw an image of Blessed Mary of Jesus coming between them. As soon as She arrived, the fight stopped and peace ensued. Pray to Blessed Mary so that She can mend the relationship between you and your son, and She will do it.
@@miroslavmajer5155Thank you for the testimony of your dream. Not being Catholic, it has not been my practice to pray to her. But I will because of your encouragement.
@@phylliswindes5526 God bless you. But don't thank to me - all glory, all praising to God and to God only. I am just a God's servant, nothing else. So, thank to Him, not to me.
This is such a perfect tribute to your mom (and your wife!). I was in tears most of this video, so I can't imagine how she must feel watching it. When I saw your video about advice for men raising sons, I was hoping to also see a video JUST like this. You did not disappoint. Not only did your mom raise an amazing man, but she also gave us (your viewers) a wonderful person to look to for advice, information, and knowledge. My ultimate goal in life is to raise my two toddler sons to be good, brave, and happy men. This is scary to do as a single mother in this world right now, but I have hope since there are families like yours in the world that still cherish the meaning of family, the roles of men and women, and giving back to other people in the world even if you have never met them. Basically, what im saying in a LONG comment is, thank you to you and your wife for sharing your lives with us, and a BIG thank you to your mama. ❤
Well said!
Nick, you are such a wonderful man and a great role model. Your wife is a wonderful woman and your children will be very great adults. I pray for you and your family. God bless you. I can only pray that my children feel the same about my husband and I
What a great video! “Give them your attention, not your indulgence.” I have to remember that! -Mom of 5
God bless your mom, and God bless you and your family.
Thank you so much for sharing with us.
As a mom to a toddler boy, I cannot express fully, my gratitude for this.
❤🙏
Now that I am pregnant with my second boy, I asked my father what advice he has for a mother of boys. And all he said was “love them”. And couldn’t say much else because he was about to cry. His mother passed several years ago and she was the absolute best.
Thanks for the good cry haha I’m aligned with everything you said so it is a comfort.
Thank you so much for this video nick. its made me appreciate my own mother so much more.
Dude thank you so much for this. As a dad in my mid forties, I'm struggling with some things like this with my 18 year old son. We just went through some big changes. My biggest challenge has been not wanting to be what my father was to me, but instead I found all new ways to screw up and hurt my child. We're on the right path back out of it, God willing, but it's been hard.
I appreciate you, your wisdom, and what you are willing to offer in terms of vulnerability, honesty, and well - just being you. Thanks man.
Cried. Thank you, from a mom of 4 BOYS/ thank you for all this raw relatable story of LOVE & MOMMA❤
I am a boy mom! My youngest is now 16, I love love love my young men! Strong, independent, self-sufficient, hard-working men who take full accountability in everything they do. They are everything I admire about their father, my husband. Plus so much more!
What a blessing Mother you had❤
After my divorce, i made a deliberate decision to stay in a neighboring town so my son could see his dad on a regular basis. I also felt very strongly about keeping in contact with my son's parental grandparents. They were such good role models!
Im a mom of 2 toddler boys and im in tears! Thank you for putting this out into the world
Thanks Nick, got me emotional too. I have 4 kids. Two girls - strong, intelligent and independent young ladies. And two boys, autistic boys - one (9) is very gentle and hesitant and the other is a little hurricane (4, lots of brain, lots of strength and no breaks). I do my best to make them feel both capable and responsible. So I appreciate hearing how important it is from your perspective.
As a boy mom who had the same birth experience, I cried like a big baby. I loved this. Highly agree with everything that was said.
(From Mrs) ditto for me and God bless you ❤
I have twin boys, age 14, whose father was taken before they were born. They've not had a male mentor or role model even in their grandfathers. I've had to be both mom and "dad." Thank you for this.
Beautiful tribute to your mom and great advice. My son has thanked me for not being a helicopter mom and not being embarrassing, like a lot of other hockey moms. Not indulging, such wise advice. He is a loving and kind man while also morally strong. Being the only child of a single mother, I’ve learned so much from my son. We have a wonderful relationship and I’m so grateful and privileged to be his mother. Thank you for doing this video.
As another hockey mom, I feel this! I am thanked too for not being an embarrassing hockey mom!!❤
Don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy
By, Robert A, Heinlein
I found this statement so important to pass on.
Profoundly true.
Don't handicap your children by making their lives hard and robbing them of a childhood.
Thank you for much needed information. I'm the grandmother of a 7 year old boy who is absolutely the apple of my eye. I had 2 daughters so dealing with a little boy is newt me. When he was a toddler he was easy, but now he has some opinions and he likes to teach me things, both of which I love. My questions are how he receives love from me. His parents don't impose rules and I do. Very gently, ie "You took it out, so you put it away and I will help you." Hearing this advice from you is priceless. I NEED to know what boys need as they are growing up. Thank you so much!
As a single mother of 4 boys, thank you for the advice. So very much appreciated.
(From Mrs). God bless you on your incredible journey 🙏♥️. Talk to Him and He will hear you!
Thank you so much, Sir! I have two sons in their 40s. I so appreciated all of your insights, and I am very sure your Mom is proud to call you her son. ❤️ 😮😊
Nick, THANK YOU SO VERY, VERY MUCH for sharing this!!!
You will never know how much I needed to hear this today!
GOD'S BIGGEST AND BEST BLESSINGS TO YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL FAMILY!!!🥰🥰🥰🥰
Love it. I just asked my seven year old boy earlier today if he hurt the chair when he knocked it over being silly.
That was awesome!!! As a single mom I could relate. And just so you know…. I am sure your mom had tears listening to this just as I did. Thanks again.
Thank you for these videos! As a mother of 5, ranging from 15 years to 2 months old, these videos offer wonderful insight and advice. Bless you and your family!
Thank you so much Nick as a single mom of a 15yr old son this is extremely helpful. God bless you and your family
My husband has dealt with some pretty tough stuff in his 30s and has dealt with it well, but it hasn’t been easy. There was one day when I had to go to work but I know he was struggling to keep his grip. I didn’t look at it as weakness, but I couldn’t be there that day, so I called his mom. She dropped everything went to our house with lunch in hand for the two of them from his favorite place and sat on our couch and watched our tv for the afternoon while he worked from home in his office. I thought he might be mad or embarrassed that I had called her but that night he thanked me for knowing that just having her come hang out and tell him it was all going to be ok and just being there helped him make it through that day. They have a great relationship, it’s not overbearing and respects him as a man and respects our family boundaries. My own mother is not my model of a mom, my mother-in-law is.
You sound like a fabulous wife and I hope your MIL appreciates you as much as it sounds like you appreciate her!
I had to cry when you talked about your first daughter beeing born. When my first child was about to be born I thought I will not survive. But when he finally came, every pain was forgotten. I can not imagine what your wife went through. Thank God that your daughter is well ❤🙏🏻
Agree, I was 19 and so uninformed about birth. It was the mid 80’s, I had no support or advice, I had no idea birth would be so horrific, as I breathed into a brown paper bag because I was hyperventilating, I thought for sure I would die. My husband sat in a chair reading a newspaper, irritated because I was thrashing around in the bed moaning, he flipped down the corner, looked at me rolled his eyes and said, “your not the only one who’s ever had a baby”.
That was the beginning of my life of hell.
@@rnupnorthbrrrsm6123what a jerk! (I am sorry)
My husband once said something similar, I fell out of love after that
Thank you for this. My son's dad passed away in 2019 when they were just 7 and 11. Most times I don't know if I am raising my boys right. But thankfully, my older son thanked me around Mother's Day for being strict and kept him based. A couple of years ago, he got a day's suspension for standing up against a bully. He certainly didn't get into trouble at home. Maybe I'm getting a couple of things right, eh?
As a mom, who’s mama passed when I was a little girl, thank you for making this video. I have 2 little boys, and 2 little girls, and I often feel like I have no idea what I’m doing, especially with my boys. I don’t have that reference that my mom would have given me if she could have. I see all these parents self help videos and such, but none of them talk about what moms of generations past did, like you did in this video. I am saving this, and plan to revisit it when I need reminders. Your mom sounds like such an amazing woman, and has been so blessed because of her diligence, and pouring her love into you. I want to be this kind of mom for my own children.❤️
Thank you, Nick Freitas. You are a sweet giant among true men. From a widow with twin boys who lost their loving, awesome dad at the age of 10. Good perspective, for sure.
My son had 2 loving parents. A mom who was home and a dad who worked alot so mom could be home. I watched this video because I wanted to see how what I did compared. My son is pushing 30. All I could say is Nick is right. Thank you Nick. I appreciated the perspective. I likely would not hear it from my son, but the outcome sure seems similar. You are a treasure Nick and even I thank your Mom.
Great job brother. I am sure you helped some moms today. As fathers we teach our sons to stand up for those who are weaker and help them. I always taught my sons and daughters to be strong and to never be a bully but to protect others from the bullies.
That feeling with sons, where they’re no longer your little guy, is heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time. It’s deeply uncomfortable but it’s worth the discomfort.
Pass the Kleenex, Nick. Listening to this brings good memories to the surface, and yes even at 68, I still need my Mom once in a while.
Thanks, Nick, for sharing this wonderful tribute to your mom, and for sharing another valuable lesson for anyone listening. Also, thank you for not editing out the tears. Another valuable lesson for men: it is okay--and, even important--to show your vulnerability as well as your strength 💝
in tears crying right along with you here. Thank you for sharing this.
This video felt pivotal to me.
I am in a very similar situation.
Mom and Dad divorced when I was a toddler. Lived with Mom during school years and visited Dad during summers.
Only diverging point is I saw my mom had a lot of anger and didn't always handle it very well. Often times it was directed at me or I witnessed her wrath towards other family members, and I had no other siblings to help guide me or split the burden with. So it made things tough at all of the schools I went to...especially when people say "you are so mature for your age" and then I have to work around some of the stupidity or boorishness of my peers.
Fast-Forward to today. I'm 25, currently serving right now, and although I do love my mother, it's getting to a point where I need her to give me some breathing room to be an adult. The past few times we've talked, it felt more like an Interrogation than a Conversation.
At 25 I've never been in jail, never gotten in trouble with the law, or have gotten in a near-death situation. I graduated from a military college and am currently working as a commissioned officer, but she still treats me like I'm 10, and has even tried to tell me how I should run my life.
I can't let her do that anymore. If she can't respect my autonomy, to the degree where she gets angry and violent when she doesn't get her way with me, then I'm going to have to loverher from a distance. I tell her all the time: "There is a difference between Mothering and Smothering." And she's writing that "s" in black ink with her actions.
But still, this video gave me hope...thank you.
Wow. Fabulous! In my opinion, you are the type of man God envisioned for heading his earthly families. You would be a lesser man if your wonderful relationships never bring you to tears. Loving ones
I so appreciate what you do and say. I need to hear this as a mom of one little boy. It will be hard to let him go. Thank you for what you do.
This man is so spot on! My husband and I have 2 daughters and 2 sons. Our sons are 8 & 6 years old. I can literally FEEL the fact that they are no longer “little” boys and are looking to my husband and learning how to be tough and strong and stand up for yourself. It breaks my heart bc all I see is my baby boys but what I know is we are raising them to be men one day! God bless all good men! Thank you and as a woman and mother, I appreciate you.
Omg you had me in tears by the end. I can't appreciate this content enough. I was so scared to be a boy mum. Now I'm almost due my 2nd little boy. My first always wants to help his mummy and is so sweet. I want nothing more than to do my part in aiding him to be the wonderful man I know he can be some day
Wise (heartfelt) words from a wise man (with a big heart).
Respect!
I expect great things from you in this time of trial.
Thank you for sharing your heart with us Mr Nick 😤💞🙏🏻 God bless you and yours!! This Moms and Grandma appreciates you very much Sir! Blessings from Canada 🥰🍁🙏🏻
That was so good! Mom to 2 teenage boys and 2 girls! Thank you! 😭
Your stories brought me to tears. Your mom certainly did an amazing job. Thank you for sharing that, Nick.
My mother was a WW-2 1st Lt Army corp nurse.
She ran a tight ship and commanded respect and made sure that we followed through with whatever we started.
She taught me to read and do math.
She helped me start my first bank acct at 12 yrs old.
She worked tirelessly as a nurse for 52 years and never complained.
Lost her in 1994.
I dearly miss her.
Am a single mom n your inputs were much needed ones.. Thanks a ton 🙏😇
Thank you Sir! You are accomplished, strong (physically & mentally), and showing this audience you have a back bone, not a wish bone!
My mom taught me 4 things.
1. Don’t smoke
2. Don’t drink
3. Don’t have sex before marriage
4. Honor God because in 100 years nothing else will matter
I’ve lived your Momma’s life and I also am Proud of all my kids. Four of them went Active Duty and yes you are so right on many things. As a Mommy, Momma and Mom it’s hard to let go when they are grown and 2 have been to War. Through that time my customers who are Vietnam Veterans told me I could not ask questions, allow them to come to me and talk as THEY NEEDED, not what I needed and I did as asked. My oldest is a Corpsman but he was on the Green side with his Brother Marines. The child I have Always loved came home with the laughter in his eyes completely silent. Learning that you can’t fix your grown child’s raw hurt sucks. I learned to slow down my emotions and I became a better listener. Inside my heart broke for the child who now stands before me as a Man fighting his Soul back to life. Many times my vets held my hand, wiped a fleeting tear and no words had to be said yet in those moments so much was understood. Many times his calls were filled with tears and I listened. Over 10 years plus I’ve learned that letting go doesn’t mean I’m not there for them if anything I’m there more but in the way THEY AS MEN NEED me. Trust, Believe , Cheer because the man I saw as they were little has shown THEIR MEN. God Bless your family Sir and your Mom ❤️
I am a mother of 3 boys. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your insight. It warms my heart that you have such fond feelings towards your mother. She sounds like an amazing woman who helped shape you into the honorable man you are today. Thank you for sharing
Nick I am so glad that I found your channel. I'm a fifty two year old man that that was wondering if there's any common sense left in this world. Especially on social media, Thank you keep doing what you're doing!
Loved this.. as a mum of three, 2 boys and a girl you helped reinforce I’m on the right path and with my amazing husband who, like you has had to tell me.. he’s not your baby anymore, I had that knowing he was right and I had to let by boy go and grow into a man ❤
That part about letting go of the little boy and not feeling needed, i think is so real!! I see it with my mom, she can’t let go and needs to feel needed and so my two 40 year old brothers still rely on her financially, every move they make they consult her and it’s sad because they don’t care for her as a grown man should for her mom but they look at her like 7-year-olds who need/ demand stuff from her
Very good episode Nick. It will help lot's of mother's. I was raised by a single father since i was 11 I didn't have much of a mother not by my choice but hers. I was raised by a contractor dad who owned his own company and in the country. I was raised tuff My daughter came when i was 16 and my son at 20 they were raised by a single mother in the beginning their father was always working out of state. In their teen years we divorced and he moved across state. With that being said i sore as teen mom to be the best i could be. I was blessed with children that choose to love and respect me put me on a pedistal that I don't deserve but, am honored to be on. My son also got suspended from school for punching a boy in the face for calling a girl the B word in the 3rd grade . I raised my son to fight for right do not fight to be right. To say what you mean and mean what you say to be a man of your word 💯. He told this boy that you do not call girls dirty names period. The boy grabbed the girl by the arm and said she is a fu.... B ## my son walked over and broke this boys nose. I was called immediately to come get him that was suspended from school for 3 days i said i will be there in 20 min. I showed up and my son was sitting in the chair worried . I will never forget it. I asked him was it worth it and do you stand behind it ! He said yes ma'am i do and would do it again ! I walked into the principles office found out the facts of what happened . Was told that there is 0 tolerance for fighting and my son hit first i said that was fine i opened the door to the office so my son could hear me loud and clear as i told the female principle. " I am proud of my son for taking action to keep some one safe from abuse from being grabbed and verbally abused that boy got what he deserved. Tell the parents of the broken noised boy to send me the bill i will pay it. Turns out . Not only did my son learn that i will stand behind him 💯 percent for right. He got a phone call from this boys parents telling him thank you for doing what needed to be done.
Love how you spoke so highly of your mom. Thats beautiful.
Wow. I had no idea your parents were divorced. You still became a solid and upright human being! Thanks for the helpful video. I am pregnant wth my first, and we're waiting to see if it's a boy or girl! My husband and I both are excited about either one.
"Serving is not something you do when it's convenient. It's something you do when it's needed." SO TRUE.
That most beautiful moment of all the important women in your life needing help that you couldn’t provide, but to be there as the prayerful protector.
Thanks for this today. I spend many hours worried if I have done right by my 20 year old son.
Awesome commentary…
Please consider posting it again for Mother’s Day. 😎🇺🇸
Thank you Nick for sharing that. As a mother of a 42 yr old son, that confirmation is so helpful to me, that maybe I did a few things right. He's turned out to be a good man.
Dang it, I’m so happy everyone in my house is asleep because I’m am bawling! My son is 5 and I try to make him feel strong and let him kill the spiders for me… and I hope and pray that I have this great of an impact on him. Thank you for this video.
Had a very similar birth story for my daughter. Great video. Grew up in a single parent household and love my mom for what she did. Moms rock.
I’m also a dad, 44, who thankfully had a great mom and I couldn’t tell you how much I appreciate what you’ve said here, Nick.
My daughter spent the first 5 months of her life in Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, she was born at 23 weeks and 0 days and had a 15% chance when she was born. Two weeks prior my wife was bed ridden and in the hospital. It came to a point where I was gonna lose my unborn daughter and wife due to several factors including blood loss and sepsis.
My mom passed away 3 years ago with a very aggressive leukemia, died 6 months to the day of her diagnosis.
My parents split when I was young too but unfortunately I was the pawn in their game and got passed back & forth with messages to hurt one another. It sucked. To make it better my stepdad at the time was quite verbally and physically abusive so it took a long time to start working through that.
The one most important lesson I chose to take away from that was to never follow the example I was given. Simply to do better, and in a way, fix the mistakes my dad & stepdad made with me.
My mom was my mother, father and mentor in many ways. She taught me to clean, cook, do my laundry, everything I could at a very early age. She always said she wanted to raise her boys to be the kind of men that a woman would want, but also to be strong and independent enough to not need a woman. Through all the years I am still blown away at how she must have managed on her own like she did. I give her credit beyond description.
Glad to hear this account from you Nick, thank you for this and although I’m not American, as an allied country I want to say thank you for all your service.
Thank you for the talk. I was a single mom too. It was hard and still is. My son has had some awful times. I hope it is not too late for him.