Germans Are Arrogant. David Crowe - Full Special
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- čas přidán 13. 01. 2020
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- Komedie
Ok, this seems like the right place for this old joke:
A German tourist arrives at customs in France. After handing over his passport, the French official asks, "Occupation?", to which he answers, "Nein, just visiting."
Ja, der ist gut! Dein Witz ist um längen besser als die vom Typen im Video.
Pat Wal ~ Vielen Dank! Schön, dass es dir gefallen hat. Ich spreche kein Deutsch, aber Google Translate hat Ihren Beitrag perfekt übersetzt, sodass ich nur hoffen kann, dass es anders funktioniert. Prost!
@@jefflindeman "Prost" best word i have heard today!
Can you explain it..? Please 😅
Floated artist ~The Nazis "occupied" France during the Second World War.
"when you get half tired, turn around and go back" unless you are a hiker, you cannot appriciate just how funny that is. The times I went further than half tired I thought I was gonna need emergency rescue
This guy covers an amazing amount of material and is very good at creating mental images - he's hilarious and unique. This was great fun.
⁸9 polyurethane] ]]] pm) I'll] ppl]
I can listen to his German accent all day. I just find it hilarious.
Your name is so cool! I sing a song to my dog called "dudemanguy" and he loves it! Dont know why thats relevant, save for your name being so similar.
(Ohhhhh, hes a guymandude he's a dudemanguy, he's a manguydude, he's a dude.... 🎼🎶🎵 And the refrain is just "he's a dude" over and over)
I hope you appreciate that as much as i do, after seeing your name.
This whole set was just awesome. What a combination of imitation, physical comedy, sound effects, story, timing, and absolutely laugh out loud jokes! Get this guy back again!! :D
Huh. I actually sat next to this guy on a flight years ago and he told me he did stand up, but I never remembered his name until I saw this video. Pretty funny guy
When we were "stationed" in Germany, in the 80's, we went to a "wildpark" and fed the animals. I got spit on by a llama and our eldest son... About 4-6 years old was bitten by an Ostrich! To this day, he hates those birds!! I could see him riding one, for spite! I laughed so hard, listening to this guy, I cried.....
An American farmer happens to sit in a small German town pub. There he boasts: "When I drive around my property in my car, it takes me three day!" And a German farmer replies: "Oh, I know! I once had such a car, too!"
😂😂😂
This is the 3rd time in 2 weeks that I've rewatched this. He is hysterically funny. Love the German relative, the hobbit, and the ostrich best but the whole routine is so, so funny. David Crowe is extremely talented with a fabulous gift of imitation.
The ostrich ride 🤣🤣🤣
😂😂My stomach's sore, my throat's sore.. The ostrich story killed me!! This guy's my new favorite! ☺️👍
the bbc bit was the best “we seem to have found ourselves in some kind of pit, out of which i do plan to climb! the moment i find my leg,”
Hahaha!😂
Yes, it really is; I wonder if some British people are genetically formal, lol. My family was. My grandmother didn't even believe in nicknames; everyone was called by their full name. Robert, Joseph, etc.
I just got that "bears attack from the rear" joke.
How does this have an downvotes. I have watched him twice and about peed myself laughing each time.
Snowflakes who are woke and can't laugh at the obvious
Probably because of the slavery jokes.
@@MonarchsOfBrotherhood you're right. Still, there is truth there. The laugh is from the irony of it
Peed yourself at that? You need to get out more. The bread behind him was more interesting.
@@mlucas7837 and you think your opinion matters to me because....? Have fun insulting people all day. You are clearly a miserable person.
I first read the title as “Germs are arrogant” and I was extremely interested.
Smug Covid bastards.
Of course we are arrogant - we do everything right! But please do me a favour and NEVER google the new Berlin airport BER!
@@taminy2051 berlin is not even german
I got a 3 day ban for hate speech on fb for the title of video
@@mjulanegandee3656 THAT should've kind of warned you that the video is crap.. 😉😉
We invented the Jetta to get rid of all the parts that didn‘t make it through Qualitätskontrolle 🤣.
Ja das stimmt
You meant couldn't cheat its way through Qualitätskontrolle?
American Jettas are Mexican!
And Jetta realy is a pure American model of a car.
@@Uouttooo only need to lie about the gases our machines eject.
How is that Germans make parts that cannot pass quality control? HA!
His gollum impression is incredible!! 😳
Had to use my asthma inhaler because I was laughing so hard!
6:19 The Gollum bit was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen and so relatable!
"Deserveses" is now a word in my vocabulary...
He gives "trolling for bears" a whole new meaning.
He's got my German relatives down to a tee.
Too bad the cant fight.
@@Snipergoat1 On the contrary. They can fight very well. The problem is that they are the size of New Jersey and they take on adversaries that are exponentially larger. Maybe it's their arrogance.
@@Steelhorsecowboy without a doubt it is arrogance haha I should know, thats my entire family haha
@Mrssewhardtoplease I didn't know that there was such a thing. My German relatives may be arrogant but they are not poorly educated.
Steelhorsecowboy what that person says is truer if they migrated a longer time ago
27:40 - as a black man, I must confess, that was funny as hell!! You really need to loosen up and laugh at that joke! It was hilarious!!
I love how he exhausts the entire list of things he could think of to lead into the joke. He did his best to make it awkward and disarm the audience at the same time.
@@a3s1r1986 it was absolutely genius...I love it...disarming stereotypes and such is so refreshing, smart, and sarcastic too!
thank God someone still has a sense of humor
Look the ceo of black ppl is talking
@@jborrego2406 are you black?
He looks an awful lot like Ed O’Neill. (His facial mannerisms as well.)
Oh, and his German accent is glorious!😂
His Gollum impression is perfect.
i disagree
That walk, representing the pick-up truck . . . perfect! LMAO
LOL The jetta talking to itself cracked me up
Alexa Not from Amazon yes, I felt quite sorry for her. However I then got a mental picture of him coming home, and her bursting out hysterically,”Where *have* you been for two weeks? TWO whole weeks? Do you have ANY idea how worried I’ve been?” etc
@Jimmy Rustling one, I can't tell if you're being sarcastic and joking.
Two... I'm Italian. Like actually from Italy, born and raised not the way people say they are " Italian" .... So..... I'm not sure what you are getting at...
@Jimmy Rustling 2 things: firstly that indeed should not happen after 2 weeks or you have too much current still used in your car during standby, or an old battery.
Secondly the Jetta had quite a few new models since the 80s and the most recent model is even being sold exclusively on the north American market since 2018.
A lot of people outside of the US don't disconnect their batteries either for a few weeks, going on vacation.
All the best
A german engineer 😁
@@alexanotfromamazon Calma calma Alexa - anch'io - nata in Italia ecc. What is interesting is that there is always one or two people who watch videos like this one but they don't have a sense of humour. I'll never understand why they waste their time. Humour, irony, wit and sarcasm are all beyond their intellectual capacity. Did you read Patequilla's comment above?? Another individual who needs an injection of humour. Hope you are keeping safe. Saluti.
@Jimmy RustlingNo haha the point I'm trying to make is you're calling people "smug American" without really knowing who they are. It's the world wide web for a reason so your responses to me make no sense.
I laughed so hard I cried and nearly peed my pants at the "ride an Ostrich" story. You are too funny!
He had me crying over the ostrich ride. This guy is hilarious 🤣
Oh my god, the ostrich story.. I can't breath from laughing!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
That 1989 Ford F-150 was built in CANADA!you're welcome.
To the rest of the world, Canada is America's next door neighbor, just a little weird.
And the Volkswagen Jetta was built in Mexico, so not our fault! 😉 I've left my German cars unattended for a month while I was on vacation, and none of them have ever refused to start!
@@perpetualmori yes now,not in 1989.
Ayy free healthcare and maple syrup gang unite! Politely and without being a bother to others, of course.
@@senza4591 The American prime directive is pretty similar to yours.
"Impolitely and without beeing a brother to others."
I'm sorry, but calling a Jetta a German car is a reach.
It's a Mexican-produced clanker for the American market that's all but unsellable in Europe.
It's still a german car ya!
And Converse resp. NIKE didn't produce one single shoe on american soil for almost 20 years. Still considered to be an american brand/shoe. Even worse, still considered a Basketball shoe (Chucks). And as a shoes they tend to be pretty shite, beside being a 'Style icon'.
Axel Boltz, but that’s different because they’re still sold in the US and people there wear them. They‘re even part of American Pop-culture (which is why people still wear them regardless of quality issues). The Jetta is (pretty much) non-existent in Germany/Europe. Most Germans have never heard of it. Not saying I disagree with you but your example is just invalid.
@@markrobson8747
This reminds me of my; "Made in America... by Mexicans" joke.
@@markrobson8747 No, that's the point, it's not a german car anymore.
It's designed, engineered and produced in Mexico for the American market.
The only german about it is its badge.
As a South African listening to you your accent is off, but your discription of this madness was spot on 😂😂😂
OMG I was dying! He's hilarious. All the accents were perfect. I work for Germans and I never thought I would enjoy the accent this much! He's great.
I was watching this alone in my apartment and I clapped at the "Can 'a duh" joke. Hilarious spacial.
This was outstanding! I've watched it 3 times now, once with the wife. She loved it too. The physical comedy, impressions/accents, everything was outstanding. David Crowe you have one more solid fan!
"Bears don't like Cajun food." Too much.
Uniquely, awesome comedian. Love the characters, the action told so well as he unfolds the events. I'll be watching this guy again and again. 🙃
That was a Great routine... I laughed A LOT 😁👍🏻 And it held my interest for all 49 min. Bravo... to David Crowe ! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Amazing performance, the ostrich story had me in stitches and as a German I can confirm that the ingrained belief in our engineering is present and accounted for! Why buy a dubious foreign product if precision German engineering is available? >_
Until cheap Chinese crap is availible at the supermarket Grabbeltisch.
@@weizenobstmusli8232 Indeed, but those are usually bought by the people that can't or won't afford better, at least where it counts. That and impulse buys.
No I don't, which is why that stuff usually breaks when you sneeze at it. ;)
@PiatequilaYou got incomplete information. Europe does contribute greatly to technology but it is not evident. When you open an iPhone or some other piece of technology, a lot of the design of the microprocessors as well as the machines used in the assembly and industrialisation of these devices are from European origin. Europe may not build high tech devices, but it makes high tech device industrialisation possible. Same as the US, CA, AU, CN, etc. Each has its own technological contribution.
@Piatequila
If you really start to take "produced in" as a measurement of technological advancement, there would be no "high tech country" other than china.
Practically all of consumer electronics and high tech is made in China.
I don't really get what you're trying to say
Just saw him in Wasilla Alaska, very funny! Had me laughing out loud the whole time!! I would see him again
Can a duh....you just broke the mold!! Brilliant!
Very funny comedian!
A can is So-duh.
@Al Gee i was stuck trying to figure his shirt out too! Lol. Hilarious!!!
This was one of the best I've seen! David Crowe is awesome!
This is one of the best Dry Bar Comedy specials I have seen.
It's crazy you don't see more of this comedian he is hilarious he has me laughing the whole time
Im married to a german and my last name is Crowe. I love this dude already.
The Problem with german cars in america ist, that they get produced with American standarts. So they are way worse than the european once.
Also ford cars in Europe have a higher quality of production because they have to follow higher standarts.
*ones
*standards
Not quite true. All the BMW X-Range of cars are made in Spartanburg, USA, and sold in Europe. I drive an X3 and the build quality is excellent. Oh yeh, I’m English but live in Germany.
@@robertw.1499
But when they wanna sold them in the EU the cars have to fit the EU standarts.
@@robertw.1499 Ask Mercedes about their M series. A pile of junk built in the USA.
I have listened to this probably four times in the last month and it's still just as funny. He is fantastic!
As a German, I can honestly say, hilarious special!
pat your back will ya
@@bartsshorts Got nothing to do with that. Just wanted to say that I do not find this offensive, to maybe put a lock on some special snowflakes who can't take a joke. Evidently, you can't please everybody.
@@DraculaCronqvist hey, why are your german cars so ugly in my country?
@@bartsshorts probably the drivers
There are weird people in this thread... I'm a bit miffed that he considers the Jetta a German car, though - was produced in Mexico and sold exclusively in the Americas - never on the German market 😉
7:53
Shut up! i deserveses it.. I DESERVESES IT!... 😆😂
I've literally watched this five times. Man he's funny.
Me too, Abbi. This is the 3rd time in 2 weeks for me and I'll be back for sure. 😄
actually the jetta is the car we make for Americans. It's not even sold in Germany. Never seen it in Europe
Asian market has some jettas too )
Doch klar wurde des in Deutschland verkauft is bloß paar Jährchen her
My father drove a Jetta in the late 90s in Germany. Very nice car.
wtf are you talking about, i owned one in the 90s in germany...
@@juliuslentz3026 seit 2018 garnicht mehr und davor auch nicht wirklich. Keiner kauft ne Golf Limousin.
"Mommy has a toolbox." 😂
That’s how they got here
This guy is freaking hilarious I was crying laughing 😂
yeah but the audience was not laughing tho at a lot of his jokes. i noted a bunch of them fell totally flat with no laugh. i was laughing tho.
I hadn't heard of this guy until CZcams made the suggestion...I'm so glad it did!!! He is hilarious!!!
It was great to hear genuine self made material without the F bomb being dropped every minuet or two...GREAT set Mr. Crowe, can't wait to see and hear more of you in the future!
He is very skilled...can listen again and again : )
Refreshingly authentic!
Definitely a touch of the Irish on this one, I'm a Crowe and we're from County Claire, spread ourselves all over the world which leads me to my next point, he's nearly the spitting image of Adam Hills
OMG this guy is brilliant, the BBC part and the ostrich story were hilarious, I was laughing so hard all the time
He's fantastic wow thank you so much I laughed the entire time!!!
OMG I don’t know why I waited to watch him. He’s brilliant! All of his stories were spot on funny and his impersonations of everything were all hilarious! Great job and thank you for the laugh!
I've lived in AK for most my life. I carry bear spray on hikes, but never had to use it so far. I laughed so hard about your bear/fish story.
You live in a Kalashnikov?
@@kraanz AK is the abreviation for Alaska.
@@TheKatlnelson Yeah, I know, Katherine.
Laughed way too hard.. He's talented!
So I discovered I like looking at bread while watching this. that's something I'll just have to incorporate into my life now.
Hmmmm. What kind of bread?
@@DHorse All of it.
What is the deal with these bizarre backdrops? Lol. I feel for anyone watching this on a carb-restricted diet!
@@carolyntalbot947 You hit the nail on the head. I went on a low carb diet years ago and it changed me completely. I never liked carbs before. I could care less about potatoes, rice, bread etc, even beer, but the diet changed all of that. After I could eat a bowl of plain rice and my brain just rewards me with bliss! And beer... never liked it, don't like alcohol, now I'm a beer connoisseur.
It's really interesting (or scary) how a diet choice can make a permanent change in your brain chemistry/structure.
Angry Applesauce haha that’s funny. I noticed the bread and decided I like the fat loaves on the shelf...that’s what I would eat with butter on it! Yummy 😋
The truck & the hiking guide were my favorite images, lol
Omg the Smeagle Gollum bit is gold!!!
I am sitting here, home alone, at 2 am watching this. Laughing hysterically, trying not to disturb the neighbors and holding on not to pee from how much I am laughing. This is the best comedian I ever watched.
this guy's impersonations--hilarious!
the ostrich story was amazing..
i laught so hard, i thought i´m gonna pee meself.. .;)
Awesome !
You tube really needs to come with a better system so I can give this guy more than just one like.
It will cost you a buck, I'll take five.
So true
*CZcams
He has a very unique script, this was very entertaining!!
Cheers Dave! I'd pay the big bucks to see you Live & In-Person! You're definitely doin' what you were meant to..make people laugh and look oh so comfortable doing it. Thanks!
I just found this and laughed the whole time!! This guy is hilarious!! 😂🤣😂🤣
It’s pretty impressive how much stand up this man has done, made me time travel on CZcams 👌🏻
Funniest guy I've seen lately. Keep it up. Here's my German joke:
Why are the boulevards of Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like to march in the shade.
Baa dum tss!
laughed all the way throughout
I thought i was the only one who speaks for my truck and my lincoln. They go at it alot. Two totally different personalities. That CLASH
What a brilliant comedian! 🤩
This guy’s HILARIOUS. 🤣🤣🤣
Laughed the whole freaking way through!! Very unique material too lol. Great stuff!
This guy is so funny!!! I love his humor! His voices add so much to his work! He also does physical humor extremely well. Very entertaining. Love to see more. Thanks for bringing him to us Dry Bar.
this dude is amazing
Car bit is hilarious ! Golum impression is brilliant!
I need to see that ostrich video
Me too! Hahahahahahahahahahaha! I'm still laughing!
After this, I felt the need to Google 'ostrich rides'. There are some funny vids out there.
The bit about those leather chaps that macho men wear for fishing was hilarious.
Oh lord we laughed so hard at the ostrich story we had to pull over !!! So hilarious 😂
OMG! Don't watch the end while eating pizza...or anything for that matter. I almost choked to death, I was laughing so hard!!! 😂😂😂
My dad had a 1990 Ford F-150 and that's exactly how he drove it.
His name is Tony and he's from NJ.
Had to pause n comment. "We brought black people into this country". Earned a true fan. Thank you for not being racist and delivering a hell of a laugh from the hardest guy to make laugh in America.
I hated it! Was rude and disrespectful!
That ostrich story is gold 😅😅😅
more like platinum.
I know! I almost wet myself for real!
I loved it, welcome to South Africa. Your spot on with the description.
Liezel Young he however sounded like a Durban Indian
How have I never seen him before? He is hilarious! 😂👍
Lol! That's exactly why I love the BBC.
"We brought black people" Ballsiest joke I've ever heard
I died man
I get your point but there's way ballsier jokes
Wow....este gringo....lol..
Just funny.
Yeah and also murdered Natives to build America with a constitution that didn't apply to blacks or Natives at the time. Nothing to be proud of there. A sour sweaty balls joke is what it was!
I'm german and i am currently crying and my belly hurts of laughing. Where can i find more of this guy? 😂
Germans are arrogant, but unlike Americans, we have a reason to be.
I haven't laughed that hard in a LONG time hahaha
Imogen Diefenbach you sound very German
Bachhhhhh.
@@ShawnSavageTeachings last name originates from Germany but am Australian
@@sinbefregd3254 Australian slang?
@@Imeyau03 No slang. American. Exaggerating the emphasis on (ch), mocking your German-like last name in an endearing/brotherly form:) ❤❤
OMG this guy is great.
He's the funniest guy I've seen so far on DryBar. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
This guy has been one of the best I've heard so far, I laughed out loud.
In Austria we have high schools specialized on automotive engineering. I don't joke when I say that we have surgeons, lawyers, politicians, nurses, etc. who could start as auto engineer in a BMW factory tomorrow. Now we just need high schools for artificial intelligence ;)
This guy is hilariously smart!😂
"Apparently what this guy's been doing every day ... *never* gets old."