Dealing with a Toxic Manager (Your Toxic Boss Survival Guide)
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- čas přidán 8. 03. 2021
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Are you dealing with a toxic manager?
In this video, we talk about how to deal with a toxic manager and toxic boss signs. It’s hard when you’re in a toxic work environment to navigate what you should do… not to worry. I’ll share with you how to handle a bad boss and how to deal with a toxic boss at work.
Think of this video as your toxic boss survival guide. Move past your toxic work environment and your toxic boss to create the career you’ve always wanted.
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The #1 sign of toxic boss:
They 100% mistrust you, while wanting you to 100% trust & obey them.
Very true. They usually trust no one, but it’s not easy to read them.
Hahha absolutely
Truth.
It’s interesting as I have two bosses, the owner and then the immediate supervisor who are both great in general, but then once in awhile they overstep boundaries, are rude and out of line. It’s like things are fine, they’re fine, and then suddenly they’re not. I don’t what you’re dealing with in those cases. I guess the one plus is most of the time they’re fine. But then when they’re overstep boundaries and are out of like, then they really are.
Setting boundaries is a great way to test ur boss as well. After you set a boundary, if it is ignored or retaliated against in some other form, it kind of reveals what you're dealing with. If your boss cannot deal with boundaries in a supportive way, bc they want everything their way, and don't like to be told no, shows you exactly who they are as a person and a professional.
Yeah, that's a great point, Marcus! Thanks for that add on
My supervisor retaliated when i set a boundarie.. she gave me a verbal warning for forgetting to cc her in an email, on a Monday. The day before, I asked her to stop texting me on my personal phone, especially on the weekend.
@@thebeamli Yep thats not good. Setting boundaries is the sign of a leader, if ur boss is threatened by up and comers, you could have an issue.
@@thebeamli And its as bigger issue bc that a verbal is not documented so if you try to report it, you're gonna get gaslit.
So just be prepared for that.
There's are pages and pages of complaints from my job department to HR and they do nothing!. Just talk and 2 weeks later they go back to their old ways. We were told that it is literally a book of complaints Nothing has every stopped it cause the person has to go through a tier of write ups and complaints or do something illegal before they can fire someone. Pure gaslighting. So the person can bully for years and it just keeps on never ending.
Awesome advice. It's been plenty times when I had to put toxic managers in their place.
The Best Time to Exit:
Christmas
My boss was trying to fire me
My doctor was trying to put me on disability
Step 1
I didn’t tell anyone on my team
Step 2
My boss thought I was going out on leave and coming back around January.
Step 3
I found out when my boss was leaving and I tried to schedule a meeting with him that I knew he wouldn’t have with me.
Step 4:
Step 3 worked. I cleaned up my desk and took care of customers.
Step 5:
Watched boss leave for Christmas Vacation.
Step 6
I clocked out on my last day and didn’t come back .
And that’s how I did it.
I did this once and it felt so rewarding!
@@peonyflowers23 Absolutely 👍
I had a boss share personal information with the rest of my crew members. Shows he is a gossip little princess.
Keep records is massive. I called out a toxic boss head on. he hated it, but he couldn't defend himself with the accurate and detailed points I went through.
Agreed. However, only call them out when you have something else lined up, and are getting ready to put your notice in.
@@peonyflowers23 I agree with you. But you never know what will happen. When I actually did this I got relegated to the third tier project (for a web design project). The manager was pretty terrible, and didn't do too much while he was working on the tier one project. So I started getting noticed about all the great work I was doing on the 3rd tier. The company went over the manager's head, and put me on the 1st tier project. The manager in question had a hissy fit, and jumped before he was pushed. It worked out so well.
The office I work for is small and there is no formal HR and no employee handbook in place and my boss is HR, office manager and has been there for 20 years. She is not only toxic towards me but I’ve seen it with others. Unfortunately they decided to resign. I’m in my 2 year there and I love my job and the work that I do but it’s time for me to leave.
Overall demanding retail environment where everyone is in a panic to please the intimidating COO from being extremely critical. He reminds me of Mr. Potter from Its A Wonderful Life
I wasn't doing all of my work appropriately, and I needed help with it, which I was going to ask my manager about, during the same conversation ...he took a lot of anger out on me and visibly looked like he was going to cry due to a personal issue. He was so upset just in general and didn't take time off for himself, he absolutely took it out on me!! I'm so upset about the things that he said to me, but he was pissed and let me have it. Since then, I have corrected what I was doing wrong but now I'm worried about being let go and feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Sounds like an abusive relationship. Take off those rose colored glasses so that all of the red flags can be seen, then make a plan to get out!
the world man! why are there so many toxic ppl in the world? oh boy
Your advice is absolute GOLD! Can't thank you enough for sharing all this. You are truly amazing Benjamin
Wao excellent explanation and valuable information. Thank you
Absolutely adored your advice! This is super helpful Benjamin!
Wonderful advice, very helpful! Thank you for sharing, new sub here. Looking forward for more.
True lot of people try to manipulate trust
You explained this well!
Your channel is great advice for career building
What if you are constantly ignored, disrespected, dirty looks, looked at like the restaurant court jester, not one of the cool kids out back smoking and talking shit? Should One stay to just piss off and make sure no one else is picked after one leaves?
Thank you for your awesome insight.
Thanks for watching, Robert. Glad you liked it!
I worked for a supervisor that had an affair with one of the men she hired. She loved to gossip about the other techs. She got pregnant by this guy. Then had to go tell a higher up manager and go to HR and tell them she was pregnant. Joke of jokes !
They didn't care about it. HR manager told her...."what happens outside this company stays outside this company.". I learned bad management begats bad management....... LMAO. She got promoted into upper management. The guy got to keep his job. I retired
bc I can't take the crap any more.
Loved the advice.
Just ordered the book! :)
Ruth, that’s so awesome! Thank you! Let me know if it’s helpful or if you have any comments/questions.
Benjamin - You’ve got great content here- Let me encourage you to get a different Mic Which sounds Fuller
Thank you for your tips. Long story short: What does it mean if your boss tells you to write your resignation paper?
They Don t want to have problems. If you resign they think you can t sue or get unemployment
Hi sir, thank you for your video. I have a workplace that has ALL policy and guidelines written as a draft. I would like to say many of them are not up to date. My supervisor constantly makes changes to the policies and day to day task (like every other day) and I believe this has created lots in inconsistency. In addition, she included in my job description that I must train the new employees though it was not included when I first started the position. Is this normal? HELP
Hi Denise, so it sounds like there is a couple things going on... I'm not sure about your specific situation, but I would venture to guess some or all of these things might be going on...
1) Your boss/department/company lacks strong strategy planning/project management which keeps things in "draft" with no plan to execute
2) Your boss doesn't actually know the SOP or processes, so they're relying on you to capture and convey info
3) Your boss is getting a lot of mixed priorities/communications about what your team should be working on, which causes constant shifting and change
In general, I would say your situation is common, but definitely not normal.... if that makes sense. It might be the way things are done, but it certainly shouldn't be left unchecked. I would maybe address some of the items above with your supervisor (if you're comfortable enough to talk to them about it).
Maybe try scheduling time to talk with them about who should finalize the SOPs and when that date will be. Then plan backwards from there. It might even be your special project for 2-3 months, if it's something you enjoy doing.
Otherwise, you can always look at other resources like Trainual (trainual.com) if you have some money to invest in SOPs
Let me know how it goes or if you need more advice! Those were just my initial thoughts 😀
MS. Degray ... how is?
Bottom line, just leave!
Easy to say
I would like everyone's advice on this. I work as cashier for b&m stores. I was badly verbally abused by my manger and ill treated. I know my challenge 25 and when a customer turns up at my till with no id and underage... I refused the sale as they were underage... I did nothing wrong...but my supervisor went and told my manger ive had a serious incident...and to my horror my manager pulled me aside and began shouting at me....he was not listening to me :-( his done this abruse before on my first few weeks at work where the area manager arranged a meeting... and my manager then apologised . Coming to here and now, I reported the incident to HR and sent my witness statement too alongside the mangers ill treatment to me and other staff too. He also called his hard working staff retards this hurts me so much as the staff work very hard i was horrified bern told this.... my team members are not retards:-( and work amazingly well...I have been waiting for HR to contact me and resolved my issue.. instead my letter was passed down to a team leader and no managers.... this team woman kellie calls me and tried to force words into my mouth to my horror and said i gave in my notice in and told my manger I'm leaving the b&m store and she has terminated me....
I never gave any written statement or verbally and it been disturbing how she tried to force words into my mouth and tried to fool me.
In my 9 letter page plus and statement I wrote to HR all thats been happening ij the store....not once did i write or mentioned about my termination of my contract or mentioned it at all...instead been pleading with them to resolve my issue as the manager has a bad behaviour and reeks of heavy alcohol at work. I have tried to find the directors details to email all letters and the log email dialogue from HR today to tell them what' HR has done and my store managers too... I feel betrayed HR have covered it up consideringi i also sent in a witness satement too... I am 55 year old and never had an experience such as this its left me mortified. I am very genuine and heal people and encourage people in life....and to experience evil people is a eye opener. Beautiful souls who reads this please give me advice what further I can do. B&M HR have terminated my contract without my consent and no reason as to why and have listened to the lies of a branch manager instead with jeckle and hyde traits...taking into note I did nothing wrong... its was a no id no sale... I couldn't sell acholol to underage but got punished instead of being praised for not selling to underage. He's shouts at you infront of everyone...its very humiliating. He has behaviour problems. I have won star performer certificates twice for outstanding customer communications and to be treated this way by a bad managers where HR agrees and supports a bad manager with behavioural problems. I have found it to be very shocking how HR handled it and shurved it under the carpet as if nothing happened. I'm deeply mortified how cunningly HR dealt with it... and to lie I handed in my notice of termination. When I never did. :-( B&M owners are not to blame but I strongly believe they need to be aware what's happening behind their back as they employ managers HR and unaware these people are treating employees in a bad way.
.
Hi Lucky, from what it sounds like, it might be something you could take to an employment lawyer and get a settlement for wrongful termination. I'm not a lawyer at all, but you can schedule a consultation with a legal team who can tell you if you have a case or not.
I'm not usually someone who advocates for legal action in situations like this, but it sounds like you have a good deal of evidence/paper trail that might be beneficial in a wrongful termination case.
The only other piece of advice that I would have would be to potentially file an EEOC claim if you feel that there was discrimination of any kind... i didn't see that in your comment at all, but it might be another avenue if you think discrimination was part of your termination.
@@BenjaminPreston Hi Benjamin, thank you for your kind words and advise.... I do have evidence and never did anything wrong. It strange you to have mentioned legal law. Unfortunately I don't have the money to pay a lawyer etc to take this up... believe me I would love to. We used to have legal aid available, unfortunately it's no longer available. I wish it was so that I could take my case there. I have been moving one now and have had a few interviews and about to have one just after xmas. With an ordeal like mine and first time ever never had a dreadful experience such as this. its left a fear inside of me and how my next manager maybe like? Times have changed so much for everyone and I pray for all who will experience what I did. Can I also say I don't blame the owners of the company it is the HR and staff they employ and unaware whats happening behind the scenes. Life moves on and we have to pick ourselves up and keep moving on forward. These kind of experiences teaches up the nasty people in the world and how blessed we feel we are not like these people. I have had immense support in my ordeal and it is because of the genuine humble woman I am. I am currently writing a book called loving all. I just feel blessed I am nothing like my toxic manager or HR staff. We must never lose ourselves in greed because one day we have to answer all wrongs we did to others at our lifes final exist. It's certainly been an experience thinking how innocent i was in it all. Having said this I stand tall and raise even stronger. To all who read this... believe in yourselves you have the strength to raise again and keep moving. God bless you all.🙌🙏 We all are living in a challenging world. It is the 21 December 2022 Benjamin have a wonderful christmas and a happy new year, may it be filled with so much happiness fun and laughter and I say this to all who stop by here. Have a good one.....
@@Lucky-vx5gm you don't need money to take them to a employment tribunal. Ring Acas if in the UK and they will Help you
I don't believe people are toxic, but for those who do, really good tips.👍
Yes people can be toxic due to mental health problems as well as personality disorders.