I was really nervous when I came out to my mom so she was a little freaked out. but when I did she just exhaled really hard and said "oh thank god, I thought you were pregnant" XD
When I came out to my friend my other friend was there like pressuring me because I said I had wanted to do it for a while. He was saying stuff like, "I'm gonna keep staring at you until you tell him" (not in the bad friend way) but it went on for long enough that it started so sound like I was trying to say I had a crush on him lmao But no, I just don't have any gender
This is wild timing, I just came out to my parents as bisexual and non-binary today. They were pretty chill about the bi part, but confused and upset about the non-binary part... they said they didn’t even know what non-binary was, so I had to explain. they seem personally offended by the fact that I have people calling me by a different name than the one they gave me and said they will never call me that (a very feminine childish name that has never really fit me). I mentioned top surgery which made them upset because “that’s a very invasive surgery” (as if I didn’t know that) I’m 22 and usually away at school, so I don’t have to live with them most of the time, and it definitely could have been worse, so I’m trying to stay positive :-) thanks Jamie for all of your awesome videos, they’ve really helped me through this journey!
It seems like your parents really just need time. As you tell it it sounds like they had a LOT to unpack in that very moment. I think they want you to be safe (also from others)
@@thegaytay4327 I think nonbinary girl/boy is different from girl/boy nonbinary, if that makes sense? There's a difference that makes sense in my head, anyway. Like, putting the girl/boy first puts more emphasis on the gendered part, so to me it reads like it's focusing on your AGAB instead of telling you what your alignment is. That's just how I read it. I'm not comfortable with calling myself a girl non-binary or non-binary girl, anyway.
@Vlad The detailer No. Being non-binary just means that you aren't fully and completely male or fully and completely female. It covers any gender identity outside of the binary. Some non-binary people might be both male and female, either as bigender or androgyne, but many are only aligned with one, or with neither.
I am 58 and after a lifetime of hiding it, I came out as non-binary and pansexual on 30 June, last day of Pride month. And actually, Thomas isn't my name - True Thomas is just a moniker I took from a character in Scots folklore. My parents named me Leslie, which has turned out somewhat convenient, as I don't have to change anything, as what was traditionally the masculine spelling is now increasingly also used for girls. I have been misgendered all my life by people thinking I'm female. Great video, Jamie. You're a lovely man, and one of my favourite CZcamsrs. Much love back to you.
Congrats! I'm 41 and only recently accepted that I'm NB. I've known since my mid twenties, but I hid it so as to not inconvenience people. I've only come out to my fiance, who's very supportive, thankfully, and one friend. Not sure if I'll tell my mom and sister. I know my sister wouldn't care, but I'm not sure about my 73 year old mom. She was awfully quiet when I came out as bi back in the day (I was and still am demi, but that wasn't a word back then) and she never brings up my ex gf. So I'm hesitant about revealing that the daughter she once knew was never actually there in the first place. Btw, personal question, but do you still misgender yourself here and there? I still do when I imagine folks referring to me, since that's all I've known and all I still hear, aside from my fiance. What helps you stay in the NB frame of mind?
Hi, I'm pansexual too and have been questioning my gender identity for some years now. I think I may identify with she/they pronouns. Anyway, I am proud of you. You are valid. And welcome to the community (even though you were already part of the community before you came out, I just don't know what other term to use than "welcome" to be... well, welcoming). I'm glad you are now able to live to your true self not just proudly but also openly (although there is nothing wrong with people not coming out either if they aren't ready, are still figuring it out or unfortunately don't have the supportive environment they should have or other factors.) And I don't know if this is true or not for your situation, but don't let anyone tell you that you are "in a phase" or "having a crisis" or that it was "too late" to come out or whatever. You are valid! The people who truly care about you will care about you all the same. (I'm sorry if this came across weird, I just want to show my supportiveness of you 😊)
This feels like the appropriate audience to share this with - my work has recently changed its dress code policy from traditional office wear to "dress for your day". As part of this, there's a section on gender inclusivity that says that anyone can wear any appropriate items of clothing regardless of the gender it's typically associated with. I'm cis, but hope someone in the company was made very happy reading that.
@@FaerieWithAHalo or the classic pulling out whatever is in your trouser pockets and announcing sarcastically your gender is 42 pence and a peice of fluff
Let's also remember that "singular they" goes back to the 1400s (in writing - so likely older) while "you" used to be only plural and it was still slowly replacing singular "thee" and "thou" in the 1600s.
Specifically it goes back to a poem titled "William and the Werewolf" (derived from the French Guillame de Palerne) and was one of those rare instances in fiction where the werewolf isn't the villain.
Plus, even if they didn't have that history, why couldn't we change the language? Not having singular non-gendered pronouns for living things is a failure of language that should be rectified, after all, and for more than just nonbinary people.
@@alexisdumas84 wholeheartedly agree! Besides, third person singular is literally the only time pronouns are gendered at all in English - its not a requirement of language - some languages don't Express gender in pronouns at all
@@friend_trilobot precisely. Even when I was going through my teenage phase (largely caused by being brought up in a religious household) of being bigoted towards LGBTQ+ people, it still bothered me that English didn't have a non-gendered third person pronoun, just because sometimes the gender of the person you are talking about is unspecified, unspecifiable, or irrelevant. For instance, when doing philosophy and positing abstract rational actors.
i’m nb (she/they/them) and i work with little kids and one of them asked me if i was a boy or a girl and i said “that’s up for you to decide” and he said “you’re a boy” then casually walked away, and when i tell you the gender euphoria that i experienced was incredible.
“Every man and woman on earth will eventually die” Me, and all enbies: IT’S TOUGH TO BE A GOD Also, I heard that the non-binary term for Mum or Dad is Ren, and non-binary alternatives for queen or king is Monarch, and alternatives for prince or princess is Crown Royal
@@ralucaioanagrigoras1489 There's also a lot of overlap between aces and enbies. 3/4 of asexuals are some kind of nonbinary. It's one of the things that helped me figure it out, because when it comes to either sex or gender, I've got better things to do.
My brother forgot that sibling was already gender neutral so talking to his therapist he panicked and called me his nibling, now I know there's an actual meaning for it!
My partner and I are both non binary and we call each other theyfriends. I can't even explain how happy it makes me to have a partner who gets that stuff right off the bat.
The Netherlands is still in the process of figuring out what to use as a gender-neutral pronoun since they never existed in Dutch and non-binary people are only just getting visibility here. But as I was writing in Dutch a while back, I found myself creating my own Dutch neopronouns to refer to someone I met online because I knew they used they/them pronouns. It's really that simple to respect people's (lack of) gender and I hope others will realise that soon too
I speak a bit of German so I thought Dutch pronoun system would be pretty familiar, but I just looked it up and damn, it's definitely not and it's super interesting! I can see why the Netherlands is finding it tricky to decide on how to do gender-neutral personal pronouns. The thing about "haar-ziekte" is especially fascinating.
Only a small info: Non-Binary means not only lack of gender but in principle everything that is not assigned to, e.g. man and woman. If man and woman are two end poles of a scale e.g. 0 and 1 then 0.5 would also count as nonbinary so all those who define themselves in terms of gender between man and woman, both at the same time also belong to the Non-Binary category. And all others who are outside this Scala and have other categories for their gender identity and which persons have lack of gender. I am an agender myself and my identity does not include a gender, or I haven't found it :-).
@@Honk4frogs That's why I use die/(hun/)hen or hen/(hun/)hen (or z'r, or diens, though that's kind of old-fashioned), but I'm also curious what Dutch gender neutral pronouns other people have come up with (I've also heard of dei or dij as a sort of Dutch version of "they")
I was listening to this podcast that has a non binary character in, and one of the other characters addressed everyone as "ladies and gentlemen, friends beyond binary" and I just loved that
hey Jamey, as a non-binary human being I was asked by someone from an older generation what being non-binary meant and why I have a different name. Basically saying when I was younger I was in a costume most of my life and only recently found the strength to take the costume off as well as the name tag that wasn't my own. Her reaction and willingness to try and understand made me very happy I almost cried on the spot
As a scientist, I can confirm there are more than 2 sexes accepted in biology. Intersex individuals and individuals without sex organs exist and have since the dawn of time. Also an organisms' hormones and environment are far more important than the reproductive organs in function and expression of certain traits. Humans are no different, and tons of variation exists in nature too. Hyena females are one example ( if a bit extreme) in how the appearance of a living things sex organs don't mean diddly squat in the long run. Psychology and my field, Neuroscience ( yay for brains!) also absolutely have solid scientific evidence that in many animals, including humans, that there are more than just binary male and female. Mice without reproductive organs are often used to help confirm certain results and different hormones are being looked at to see why some subsets of people are less or more prone to certain disorders. The reproductive organs are really not that important in the grand scheme of things 🤷🏿♀️
At school when we were playing dodgeball and we were playing boys v girls, the teacher would let me and other non binary classmates choose our teams, damn she was awesome
I was never recognized as NB/trans & didn't even know what the fuck that meant, but... I remember I usually wound up getting to pick whatever team I went on & it felt so fucking good. At least until puberty because then my boobs decided for me & I was suddenly "distracting". 🙄
As Bruno Mars said once: "When I see your face There's not a thing that I would change 'Cause you're amazing Just the way you are And when you smile The whole world stops and stares for a while 'Cause you're amazing Just the way you are "
@@lauvayed Slash fiction. It's when fanfic writers portray homosexual relationships between two lead characters of a franchise, i.e. Kirk / Spock, or Cloud / Sephiroth.
Hey, everyone. I know some of you have been having horrific times, so I’m just here to remind you that you’re loved. You all deserve the world, and I’m very glad to have you all here still with us You will always, always be valid, needed and incredible people. Please, don’t forget to take care of yourselves today. I believe in you and hope your week has been amazing so far.
Thanks to whoever corrected that image at 2:10 👏 I came across the incredibly offensive “original” version posted on the Facebook page of an anti-feminist/religious zealot/homophobic group (by accident - a friend “liked” one of their benign posts and I went to the source). Anyway, I challenged them on it in a comment and said out how insulting and wrong the image was and why. They blocked me from their page, but one of my friends said they took down that post, so…a sort of victory…? 🙅🏻♀️🥳🧐 Jamie has given me much more confidence to stand up to those types of people and let them know their “humor” isn’t funny or acceptable. Thanks, Jamie & Co. 🌈💖
I always hated in English classes when we were taught that we had to use he/him as the “neutral” pronouns in formal essays. I tried to get around it by writing things like “a person” or “a reader” or something actually neutral. Now I’m so happy to see more people accepting and creating more gender neutral pronouns
My English teacher (I'm from Germany, currently training) got me bubbling with anger last thursday, she said that you can call someone either he or she or may ask what they identify with because there is not other pronoun (except he/she/it but it only for stuff like the sun or a plant) while I'm out there going by they/them! Thank you for saving my week
Next time ask your teacher to sit with the other students and make a powerpoint with movie extract proving that they/them is valid as a singular pronoun ;) (kinding... mostly)
@Louan_UwU yeah, I asked my German teacher what to use, and it became awkward real quick... I love the language, hate the lack of my pronouns. Although, in Sweden we say hen/hens/henom so I don't think we are much better, considering most cis people " joke" about enbys being birds or chickens....
@@littlemissbump100 In the English language, we've never used the pronoun "they" to refer to someone we know their identity and their sex. We use it when the person is unknown to avoid saying "he or she"
@@firasjemil213 Sure, but it being used as a singular pronoun in the first place makes it much easier to use when referring to non-binary people as you can just keep using it instead of having to invent a whole new pronoun.
i thought i was nonbinary before figuring out that i'm a transman. the whole process of figuring myself out definitely helped me figure out who is really supportive of me and who isn't. it's so nice to see more support for nonbinary peeps!
I legally changed my name before I even fully came out as nonbinary to most people and it was actually VERY empowering. (This was after trying the name out for several months with my spouse and our close friends who I speak to every day and making sure I absolutely loved it.) I didn't have a single person try to "talk me out of" changing my name, because I had ALREADY DONE IT. I changed my coming out story from "here's what i'm thinking about doing" to "here's what i've already done, just catching you up" and I honestly cannot recommend it enough.
Any advice for places to update after I get the legal name change document? I know social security, ID, and credit card, but I'm probably forgetting some stuff.
@@alexshemwell8320 hi! youll want to update your social security before you update your BMV ID because BMV IDs verify your identity with your social security records :) youre also gonna want to update your birth certificate, your passport (if you have one), immigration documents (if youre an immigrant), and your voter registration if you're registered to vote. the order doesnt matter other than your social security card and ID. :)
@@alexshemwell8320 Yes! The process is going to depend heavily on where you live, so I would suggest looking up guides for your specific state/country. Make a list (I used an app called Notion but you can use an excel spreadsheet or something similar) and write down the specific documents each thing needs and how to contact them. You will need to do some things in a particular order (for example if you need your new ID to change your bank accounts you would need to do your ID first). I kept all of my documents in a file folder and I took that folder with me to every appointment. Even if they say they just need your ID you would be surprised how often having the court order or an additional document came in handy. You will discover things as you go, but here is a good starting list (not necessarily in this order): - ID / drivers license - Social Security - Passport / Immigration records - Birth certificate - Credit cards / bank accounts / loans / checkbooks - Phone plan / voicemail - Insurance (health, car, home) - Car titles - Doctors / Dentists / Pharmacies / Therapists (make sure you tell your relevant insurance FIRST and find out when you can start having providers file claims under your new name) - College (whether you are a current or former student, you want potential employers to be able to confirm any degrees you earned under your new name) - Online accounts (emails, social media, Amazon, anything that uses your credit card will need to be updated once you change that) - Employers / Landlords / Professors - Post office (if necessary, usually you can just change the label in your mail box) - Financial accounts / retirement accounts - Voter registration - Library cards - Mortgage companies - Club Memberships (Costco, etc.) This list is not exhaustive so if anyone has others to add, please do!
I 100% plan to change my legal name and not tell my conservative relatives. If they happen to get ahold of my id and wonder about it, I'll tell them I was a joke. Also planning to change my gender marker to x and if they notice I'll ask them "why does the government need to know my what's in my pants?" with utmost suspicion. I also plan to always 'jokingly' point out that my *legal* name is Robin, and there's nothing they can do to stop me.
I know this comment is several months old but I read an article on queer people in France and one of the people interviewed had said that this was how it was in France, you didn't say "mom, dad, I think I'm gay" you come home and say "I'm gay, this is my boyfriend, that's just how it is." I don't know if it's actually true of all of France but I've spent a lot of time mulling over that potential cultural difference and how it can be summarized, and I think this comment echoes that basic idea very well.
Just the other day, my best friend (who I’ve known since we were in kindergarten) and I accidentally started to come out to each other on text, through one of our text battles. (We go back and forth forever countering each other to see who can’t continue first.) We ended up calling and talking for over 7 hours, and during those seven hours, he came out as trans (ftm). I then came out as trans masc. and non-binary, and we both had a long, kind of fun talk about everything related to that. By the end of the day, we’d both decided to confidentiality change our names in just our online things that only we use. All the places our parents never check, basically. So now we both have our (in his case masculine and in my case more gender neutral) names in our chat app and other online apps. It’s been really freeing, even though we can only call each other by our new names and use our real pronouns around each other. It also helped us both knowing the other was also experiencing gender dysphoria, and it’s really amazing to have a friend like him 😊
As an enby who just found out who I am, I can happily say that I genuinely made an excited squeal when I saw that Jaimie made a video about enbies :))))) Jaimie, you make my day better every time I see your content. Hope y’all have a nice day ❤️❤️🐸🐸🌿🌿🍄🍄🌟🌟
me and my friend age 14: me: yeah, we are girls!! my friend: right! it’s cool being a girl! me and my friend age 16: me: *confused in demigirl* my friend: *cries in genderfluid*
@@schokoloko2092 demigirl basically means that you identify as a woman most of the time but like not fully (?) And demiboy is the same thing, but with boys (omg i hope i wrote that right, i am still trying to fully understand some labels)
This video definitely lifted my spirits. Even though I’m 33, I’m in both the gender and sexuality closets because I live with my conservative parents. Every time I get included in a “girls’ night,” I die a little inside.
@@ZijnShayatanica What about, "You go, friend!" Would that be something that you feel at peace hearing about yourself? Asking as an ally. I know not all people in a similar situation have the same preferences, but I'm always looking for ways to be a positive voice in the crowd of too much ugly.
@@ZijnShayatanica Or in the words of my 5 year old daughter, "You're crushin' it!" It's one of her favorite things to say to people working out, doing something she thinks is hard, or who have put effort into how they look. And she does not discriminate by gender or how awkward it is to approach a random stranger.
I'm really glad you make these vids. Unfortunately even WITHIN the community, non-binary people are often ignored and invalidated constantly. Don't even get me started on how ppl treat those with neo pronouns. It's such a breath of fresh air.🥰🌈
My mom when she found out i'm non-binary: SO YOU HAVE BEEN LYING TO ME ALL THIS TIME?? WHY WAS I THE LAST ONE TO KNOW? My mom 2 years later and after my sister also came out as trans: hii, just wanted to let you know that i have been researching and reading a lot about trans kids. I also joined four parent support groups, and I wanted to ask if I'm doing everything right.
So.... I have to ask....do you have a good replacement for the word daughter/son? Asking because my eldest (now adult) child is non-binary and I just cannot find a good replacement word that doesn't sound like I am referring to a young child or an animal. I know child/kid are gender neutral, but it doesn't feel right for an adult. I have been referring to them as my eldest, but my husband doesn't like that as it makes him think of old people instead of our kid. Offspring sounds like they came out of a breeding program, sprog makes me think of a little kid..... english is missing some words, we need to fix that.
"You" used to be plural too. And you bet people were annoyed as it became singular, but now nobody cares. Seems like how 'they' might turn out in a hundred years. If that happens I'm looking forwards to t'all (Like y'all, but with they).
「ð'all're up, are y'all up too?」 (ð for those who don't know, is the voiced th sound in they or the or though (not to be confused with the unvoiced th in thunder or thorn))
I’m so happy lol, I pretty much just started my first year of gymnasium (like Swedish high school I think?) and I’m already seeing so many cool androgynous looking people with so many cool and unique styles and I’ve so far seen over 6 people with pride flag buttons on their bags! Ahh yesss!☺️Also I’m getting my first binder soon!!🥲🥲*happy tears* lmao YES!
Same here, I recently moved and changed schools and here on the German Gymnasium so many people have little pride things, like bracelets, key chanes, etc. and that just makes me so happyyy! And I'm so happy for you that you can get your first binder soon!
My younger sibling recently came out as non binary. I'm trying really hard to show them that I support them but sometimes I mess up and say she when they said they prefer he/they. Old habits are hard to break and I really hope I'm not hurting my little sibling.
Most trans and non-binary people know when someone has just made an honest mistake out of habit. The important thing is to not call attention to your mistake. Going "OMG I'M SO SORRY I'M SUCH A BAD PERSON I DIDN'T MEAN TO MESS UP." is just a bit awkward for everyone. The best thing to do is simply go, "sorry, I meant [correct pronouns]" and move on.
Drawing and thinking about yourself as the opposite gender as a child would probably help tons of trans kids honestly. One of the biggest hurdles is not even realizing that's an option.
Hmm interesting thought! 🤔 Maybe you could make a task to draw yourself with any gender you'd like. So you would have the opportunity to try something out, without the binary shit.
As a kid, my siblings and I would dress in each other's clothes, and I would call my brother my sister and my sister my brother. My parents never objected. They didn't do a lot of things right as those things go, but that was one of them.
I used to draw myself like that all the time when I was a kid, mostly because I was drawing myself into my favourite stories, and the boys always had the best parts, even if the girls had better clothes. No surprise whatsoever that I've grown up to be a genderfluid enby.
At school one of my friends is non-binary (assigned female at birth) They we’re in the bathroom (they don’t like going into the bathroom because we don’t have non gendered bathrooms) and I was just leaving and they just walked over to be and hugged me and didn’t let go for awhile It was so sweet 🥺
Although I appreciate that you care for your friend and I think it's very sweet I think it wasn't necessary to include their assigned gender (I would make sure to avoid doing this as it can be hurtful) I know you mean well tho! :)
My daughter has a friend who came out as transgender at the end of grade 8 (they are in grade 10 now) and they just received their grade 9 year books. The school, despite the teachers and students all calling the boy by his new name last year from the start, for some reason printed his dead name in the yearbook. So my daughter and her friends got together and convinced the other kids in their grade to scribble it out and get him to sign his name underneath the picture.
@@ProjectSebastiann WHY DIDN’T I DO THAT I didn’t figure it out yet so I just stared at the page with visible confusion and my teacher got mad at me for not drawing anything
Teacher: today we are going to draw ourselves as the opposite gender Me, if I were non binary: draws three headed centaur cthulhu. One head gets a crown, one gets a halo and one has its tentacle beard dreaded into a baloon dog with flowers sticking from it.
"NO PE" was me in high school; I did theatre for phys-ed credit instead of gym class. (Yay for stage-fight training!) I'd say "Does that make me two genders?", but I'm already genderfluid.
Pretty appropriate, since Phys Ed is that one class where many schools still segregate students by boys and girls. It fortunately wasn't that way in my school growing up, but I still hated that class.
Kind reminder that not all Non-binary people adopt they/them pronouns, non-binary should not be solely defined as they/them I'm personally not a fan of My'Theydy or any non-binary inclusive term that involves they/them in the word since not all non-binary people use them
Thank you for spreading enby positivity, it means a lot! Right now I am not going through a good period of my life. I am non-binary and I am scared to be myself at the university but at the same time being perceived as a girl every day is very painful. With my queer friends I use she/he/they pronouns but with people from my university I force myself to stick to she/her only, because it is safer and easier. And I shame myself for this decision every day. Because I should be brave. Because if I don't come out, if other people don't come out then we will be invisible for the society. So every day I am thinking about whether I should come out or not. And it really bothers me. So your video made me smile after the whole day of these negative thoughts. Thank you!
I know I'm late, but is it not brave to withstand such a difficult situation? Is it not brave to live "behind enemy lines", as it were, in secret, isolated, and afraid? You cannot be brave if you are not afraid, because bravery is the acceptance of fear, not the absence of it. You are brave. You are doing what you need to do to keep yourself safe. You can come out when you're ready, and if you're never ready, that's okay, too. Sending you internet hugs if you want them.
Just want to pop in and say: You can be a "girl nonbinary" or "boy nonbinary", even if that doesn't entirely explain it. If your gender is both feminine -and- other, but not masculine, that is completely normal. Non-Binary is a very big umbrella group, and in addition to Non-Binary people, it also includes several subsects within it. Anyone who are not strictly "man" or "woman" fits into non-binary, whether they are Genderqueen, Genderfluid, Agender, Demi-, Neuter, etc! Still not a cool thing for someone to ask, but it is important to keep in mind.
I agree with what you said, but I think usually when (cis) people ask this, what they are really implying is "ok, I'll entertain your silly made-up gender, but I want to know what your genitals are". I'm sure you are already aware of those implications, but just wanted to point it out for anyone who is not familiar with why asking is rude.
My boyfriend is straight/cis and I'm pan/nonbinary. He is my biggest supporter and didn't bat an eye when I asked to be called partner instead of girlfriend. It's such a great feeling to have someone support my identity no matter what
@@RandomEdits084 i agree with what you say (but I think you can also be Bi or Omni and still be dating a non binary person).....but I also think that If the non binary person involved in the relationship don't feel unconfortable about their boyfriend's sexuality then it's no one else business.
@@Kian_0708 As a lesbian myself, I’m pretty confident our L label doesn’t include NB. I find it offensive to erase what LESBIAN means. It’s exclusively for WOMEN WHO LOVE WOMEN, not women who love non-male. That’s what pan/bi/queer labels are for. Also, Straight means people who are attracted to OPPOSITE GENDER. NB is not in gender binary, so yeah, the label straight is not for their boyfriend. I’m not picking on them or anything, just simply pointing that they mislabeled their boyfriend. Maybe like, have some respect for common sense, guys? You could use your correct terms without budging in other people’s labels.
Over the last month I've had the courage to tell 2 of my closest friends that I'm Non-binary. I'm still struggling with what to say to my parents and partner.. thank you for the validation and spark of courage.
honestly going to a private military school and everyone wearing the same uniforms kept me from truly questioning my gender. i still experienced dysphoria but it wasn’t as bad bc we all looked the same. it wasn’t until i graduated hs & started college that i realized i always dressed super gender neutral that my mom was like “why don’t you try putting on a dress one day, you might catch a guy’s attention” and i literally thought to myself “being a girl is not for me” not even knowing what exactly i meant by that. pansexual and non-binary person here 😭💁🏾 edit: also just watched a few of your non-binary content & i feel very much seen. 🫶🏽🏳️🌈
I was honestly having a really rough time with my dysphoria recently so this was honestly just the wholesome enby content I needed Thank you as always Jamie.
@@ghosty4892 awe thanks. Tbh- not really my mom forced me to wear some stuff I don't want to, but I really do appreciate it I hope you have a good day 🤍
@@Z.A.N.E oh im sorry that she wont let you :( You seem like an amazing person. And i hope that soon you can dress how u want! Bc when u can u probably look as amazing as you are!!!!
1:16 whenever I’m writing songs, I always use you or they/them pronouns, so it can be applied to most ppl really (also I’m non-binary myself so it only makes sense)
I’ve unfortunately never been able to experience that feeling of gender euphoria where a person just can’t figure out which gender they think I am. Either they see me when I’m dressed masculine and think I’m a boy or I’m dressed feminine and they think I’m a flat chested girl
But what gender are you though? (Trying to replicate the situation so that you get to experience it also but it not working because its online). I hope you get to experience it soon 🖤. Also what works for me (im afab so maybe it wont work when your amab) is just hiding yourself in big trousers, a big hoody, a beanie or hat and put on your mask 😂 but yeah, id rather live my life without hiding
I've never experienced that either and never will because I'm sadly very short and curvy. I wish I looked as androgynous as I feel but I never am perceived as anything but a woman :/
Unfortunately, depending on where you live, the vast majority of society isn't even aware that non-binary is an option, so boy/girl is the first thing try to figure out about you. Although sometimes if people do think you're something other than cis I feel they are ruder to you. For example, when I go on walks in our neighborhood with my partner, I will smile and nod politely as we pass by people and a lot of people just scowl at me in a confused way rather than smile and nod politely back. My partner is also a large Native American man, so I'm never quite sure if their rudeness is because they think I'm a gay twink boy, they think I'm a mtf trans woman, they are racist against my partner, or they just have no social skills. Or if I am out on my own I kind of assume people think I'm a butch lesbian. Basically, everything except what I actually am, which is non-binary (afab), because only people who are involved in the LGBT+ community actually consider it as an option.
This video is so amazing.. I identify as non-binary (specifically agendered) and the amount of times at school where it’s spilt boys and girls I never know which way to go because I don’t identify with either. But knowing there’s a community out there which is supportive even is schools can’t show that through changing to be more accepting to people who don’t just identify as a boy or a girl is amazing
Yeah. Pe sucks for me, demigirl. My English teacher is so heteronormative as well that he gave me less of a grade for using my friend's correct pronouns (she/they, same as me)
Just came to the full realization that I’m non binary while on a camping trip with my nb best friend and I feel great! This video makes it even better 😁
My class had a writing prompt once to write about being the opposite gender. Idk if anyone in the class was non-binary, but as a class discussion we concluded that nothing would change about our teacher. Her personality was so uniquely *their's* that they would look, act, be the exact same person no matter their body. "Non-binary" wasn't a term being used at that time, so we had no label for it other than saying she would be exactly the same.
In school I felt like I didn’t fit either group really but I preferred the girls group. I was forced to be in the boys group for sports. I am enby/demiwoman(?) and it’s one of those things looking back, it is so dumb.
I was so happy to be in a mixed PE group for a couple years in high school. Then we got older and the teachers claimed "it's not fair because of the natural difference in strength between the boys and the girls" so we lost it. But it was great while we had it. I got to wear a t-shirt and shorts over my swimming costume and it was allowed for privacy from the boys' eyes in the mixed group, but then in the girls' it wasn't allowed anymore even though I still wasn't comfortable in just a swimming costume. Wish I'd known about all this gender stuff then, it might've been easier to figure out.
I always preferred to group with guys if given the choice when I was in school. Still do, lol. I didn't know that being nonbinary was a thing until I was an adult, though. All I knew was I felt out of place with the girls but didn't really want to be a boy either. I'm slowly coming out at 35.
I had a pe class where I was in the girls group but most of them didn’t want to play any sports, making it not fun to be there. it was really frustrating watching all the guys have fun, while my friend and I were running up and down the field by ourselves(friend made it fun tho)
This video is literally exactly what I needed right now!! Got misgendered yesterday based on how my voice sounds and I was feeling really down abt that. Thank you sm for diving into this sub again :D
I can’t count the amount of times someone has said to me, “But, your a girl right?” I just want to scream every time, “NO, I JUST EXPLAINED TO YOU WHAT I AM!!!!”
Time to stop explaining, then. State the facts, if they don't like it, they can fuck off. You don't need unnecessary bullshit like that. Bigoted comments like that shouldn't be given a single speck of attention. :)
The M'they'de one was so heart warming!! Jamie my man please do some more Ace/Demi memes as I know we ace folks are even kept from certain LGBTQIA+++ spaces as we are not seen as LGBTQIA++ and not seen as Cis either... Not that I have ever felt that from this community the spuds are awesome and cool and amazing
I recently came out to all my teachers at my school as non-binary (including the principal) and I've been so nervous because I haven't actually gone to school yet to see their reaction, this was just the video I needed to gain my confidence to go back to school!
Our PE teacher always makes us split up into boys and girls lines so I stand in the middle and my friend (who is a Demigirl) stands between me and the girls line😅
This video made me smile, thank you! 😊 4:09 felt this one. I don't know if I'm ever going to fully go through with this phase, but I ended an email with 'Bastion' for the first time today, which was fab.
My mom saw the NB ring I bought and asked what it meant. She said she doesn't completely understand but hopes to one day & she still loves me. I'm grateful to finally feel comfortable in my skin--it's just taken 44 years to find that peace and acceptance.
This made me so happy, as someone who has been trying to come out as non-binary for so long but constantly being held back by other people, this gave me so much more confidence, Jamie is the best !!
My friend just came out as NB so I'm sending them this IMMEDIATELY
that’s nice :)
congrats to them for coming out!
I am very proud of them, their parents are having a bit of trouble grasping the concept but they're trying at least lol
"NB" stands for "non black" i believe, that's why we use "enby" /nm
@@thepastelgothunicorn6543 Thank you for letting me know! I am also woefully undereducated on the subject lol.
Broke: Ladies, and gentlemen
Woke: Guys, gals, and non-binary pals
Bespoke: Scoundrels and gentlefolk
Trash goblins and distinguished persons
Gremlins and cowards and all of the inbetween
In seriousness, I'm rather fond of 'esteemed guests' for it in the formal context ladies and gentlemen comes from.
Laddies, lasses, and lassos
@@MicheLYount that might really *click* with some people I know
I was really nervous when I came out to my mom so she was a little freaked out. but when I did she just exhaled really hard and said "oh thank god, I thought you were pregnant" XD
loll I was so nervous when I came out to my best friend that after I told her she was like omg thank god I thought you were like terminally ill 😂
HAHAHHAHAB
Lmfao
out of all the coming out stories I've heard, this one has to be one of my favorites
When I came out to my friend my other friend was there like pressuring me because I said I had wanted to do it for a while. He was saying stuff like, "I'm gonna keep staring at you until you tell him" (not in the bad friend way) but it went on for long enough that it started so sound like I was trying to say I had a crush on him lmao
But no, I just don't have any gender
This is wild timing, I just came out to my parents as bisexual and non-binary today. They were pretty chill about the bi part, but confused and upset about the non-binary part... they said they didn’t even know what non-binary was, so I had to explain. they seem personally offended by the fact that I have people calling me by a different name than the one they gave me and said they will never call me that (a very feminine childish name that has never really fit me). I mentioned top surgery which made them upset because “that’s a very invasive surgery” (as if I didn’t know that) I’m 22 and usually away at school, so I don’t have to live with them most of the time, and it definitely could have been worse, so I’m trying to stay positive :-) thanks Jamie for all of your awesome videos, they’ve really helped me through this journey!
That's rough I'm sorry, but I hope you have other people in you like that will support you a bit more!
At least they were chill about the bi part. Hopefully they'll come around once they understand what being non-binary is like better.
It seems like your parents really just need time. As you tell it it sounds like they had a LOT to unpack in that very moment. I think they want you to be safe (also from others)
i relate a lot! my parents were also very hurt by me changing my name and took it personally. I hope everything goes well
Good luck for your journey!
"Are you girl nonbinary or boy nonbinary"
Demigender people: Well yes, but actually no
Right? As a demigirl, I guess I could say I'm a girl nonbinary, but uh.... that's not really how it works.
@@drygonfyre Actually, if you're comfortable with that wording, that is how it works! I'm male-flux and I do call myself a nonbinary boy
@@thegaytay4327 I think nonbinary girl/boy is different from girl/boy nonbinary, if that makes sense? There's a difference that makes sense in my head, anyway. Like, putting the girl/boy first puts more emphasis on the gendered part, so to me it reads like it's focusing on your AGAB instead of telling you what your alignment is.
That's just how I read it. I'm not comfortable with calling myself a girl non-binary or non-binary girl, anyway.
@Vlad The detailer No. Being non-binary just means that you aren't fully and completely male or fully and completely female. It covers any gender identity outside of the binary.
Some non-binary people might be both male and female, either as bigender or androgyne, but many are only aligned with one, or with neither.
Also bigender and genderfluid/genderflux people
This video was made for me
omg hi kevin
Hi kevin (≡^∇^≡)
OMG KEVIN- AH YES IT WAS DJVKDKKGKRKFRK HIHIHI YOUR AMAZING
Kevinnnn
Your content is 🤌✨
I am 58 and after a lifetime of hiding it, I came out as non-binary and pansexual on 30 June, last day of Pride month.
And actually, Thomas isn't my name - True Thomas is just a moniker I took from a character in Scots folklore. My parents named me Leslie, which has turned out somewhat convenient, as I don't have to change anything, as what was traditionally the masculine spelling is now increasingly also used for girls. I have been misgendered all my life by people thinking I'm female.
Great video, Jamie. You're a lovely man, and one of my favourite CZcamsrs. Much love back to you.
Congrats on coming out!
That's awesome, I love seeing people come out in a positive way, no matter how long it takes to realize.😊
Congrats! I'm 41 and only recently accepted that I'm NB. I've known since my mid twenties, but I hid it so as to not inconvenience people. I've only come out to my fiance, who's very supportive, thankfully, and one friend. Not sure if I'll tell my mom and sister. I know my sister wouldn't care, but I'm not sure about my 73 year old mom. She was awfully quiet when I came out as bi back in the day (I was and still am demi, but that wasn't a word back then) and she never brings up my ex gf. So I'm hesitant about revealing that the daughter she once knew was never actually there in the first place.
Btw, personal question, but do you still misgender yourself here and there? I still do when I imagine folks referring to me, since that's all I've known and all I still hear, aside from my fiance. What helps you stay in the NB frame of mind?
Hi, I'm pansexual too and have been questioning my gender identity for some years now. I think I may identify with she/they pronouns. Anyway, I am proud of you. You are valid. And welcome to the community (even though you were already part of the community before you came out, I just don't know what other term to use than "welcome" to be... well, welcoming). I'm glad you are now able to live to your true self not just proudly but also openly (although there is nothing wrong with people not coming out either if they aren't ready, are still figuring it out or unfortunately don't have the supportive environment they should have or other factors.)
And I don't know if this is true or not for your situation, but don't let anyone tell you that you are "in a phase" or "having a crisis" or that it was "too late" to come out or whatever. You are valid! The people who truly care about you will care about you all the same.
(I'm sorry if this came across weird, I just want to show my supportiveness of you 😊)
This feels like the appropriate audience to share this with - my work has recently changed its dress code policy from traditional office wear to "dress for your day". As part of this, there's a section on gender inclusivity that says that anyone can wear any appropriate items of clothing regardless of the gender it's typically associated with.
I'm cis, but hope someone in the company was made very happy reading that.
I'm happy reading that. Thanks for sharing!
If anyone asks if you're a guy or girl, respond with
"I'm a threat"
"but what's in your pants?"
"A knife"
that's exactly what my hufflepuff sister could say lol
Nah I don't want a menacing charge I'll say something a lot less PG
*👆👆👆THIS👆👆👆*
@@FaerieWithAHalo or the classic pulling out whatever is in your trouser pockets and announcing sarcastically your gender is 42 pence and a peice of fluff
*_wh e e z e-_*
Let's also remember that "singular they" goes back to the 1400s (in writing - so likely older) while "you" used to be only plural and it was still slowly replacing singular "thee" and "thou" in the 1600s.
Specifically it goes back to a poem titled "William and the Werewolf" (derived from the French Guillame de Palerne) and was one of those rare instances in fiction where the werewolf isn't the villain.
that’s it, we’re referring to everyone as thee/thou now
Plus, even if they didn't have that history, why couldn't we change the language? Not having singular non-gendered pronouns for living things is a failure of language that should be rectified, after all, and for more than just nonbinary people.
@@alexisdumas84 wholeheartedly agree! Besides, third person singular is literally the only time pronouns are gendered at all in English - its not a requirement of language - some languages don't Express gender in pronouns at all
@@friend_trilobot precisely. Even when I was going through my teenage phase (largely caused by being brought up in a religious household) of being bigoted towards LGBTQ+ people, it still bothered me that English didn't have a non-gendered third person pronoun, just because sometimes the gender of the person you are talking about is unspecified, unspecifiable, or irrelevant. For instance, when doing philosophy and positing abstract rational actors.
“Are you a boy or a girl?”
“I’m better than you”
i’m nb (she/they/them) and i work with little kids and one of them asked me if i was a boy or a girl and i said “that’s up for you to decide” and he said “you’re a boy” then casually walked away, and when i tell you the gender euphoria that i experienced was incredible.
My daughter has asked me that about other people since she was 3. She's 5 now.
My favorite response is, "Does it matter?"
“Every man and woman on earth will eventually die”
Me, and all enbies: IT’S TOUGH TO BE A GOD
Also, I heard that the non-binary term for Mum or Dad is Ren, and non-binary alternatives for queen or king is Monarch, and alternatives for prince or princess is Crown Royal
hehe the same meme exists for aroace:
"sexual and romantic attraction is what makes us human"
us: It's tought to be a GOD :))
:)
Or nibi for an enby parent word! (N-no i dont pretend my plant children talk to me, what do you mean-)
There’s also prin instead of prince or princess and moddy for mom or dad. There are lots of fun terms for enbies! ^-^
@@ralucaioanagrigoras1489 There's also a lot of overlap between aces and enbies. 3/4 of asexuals are some kind of nonbinary. It's one of the things that helped me figure it out, because when it comes to either sex or gender, I've got better things to do.
My brother forgot that sibling was already gender neutral so talking to his therapist he panicked and called me his nibling, now I know there's an actual meaning for it!
thats adorable 💀 glad he's supportive!
Aww.
😂😂😂i love that even in a private moment as such, your brother panicked and tried everything he could to do the right thing
Nibling is gender neutral for a niece or nephew I think
I feel like a Nibling is also a thing from the Moomins...
Teacher - "draw yourselves as the opposite gender"
Me, who is agender - draws all the genders
P A N G E N D E R
Tbh, that’s a good exercise for art (or draw any person/persona/figure known in the art world as the opposite gender - thx, might do so!)
My partner and I are both non binary and we call each other theyfriends. I can't even explain how happy it makes me to have a partner who gets that stuff right off the bat.
awwww that's amazing
I've heard someone call their partner 'joyfriend', I nearly cried at how cute that is
My gf called me her Datemate, which I particularly enjoy! :)
Before my friend's girlfriend came out as trans, we called her their themfriend
I hope your day is filled with joy. Non-binary people valid. Everyone is valid. Love is love. homophobes are loose sock threads. Stay proud ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
At least loose sock threads are fun to play with.
@@Pukeprincess yes. I always rip them out. . .
Thanks🥺
Hello fellow genderless lesbian
Gay, bi, pan, aro/ace, omni, poly, demi, whatever = valid and beautiful. Trans boy, trans girl, nonbinary, demigender, agender, trigender, pangender, bigender, whatever = valid and beautiful.
The Netherlands is still in the process of figuring out what to use as a gender-neutral pronoun since they never existed in Dutch and non-binary people are only just getting visibility here. But as I was writing in Dutch a while back, I found myself creating my own Dutch neopronouns to refer to someone I met online because I knew they used they/them pronouns. It's really that simple to respect people's (lack of) gender and I hope others will realise that soon too
I use ze/hun as my pronouns in Dutch,, but I do get that that can be awkward, especially for afab nb's. What neopronouns did you come up with?
@@firasjemil213 Why not both? I wish my government concerned itself with such issues.
I speak a bit of German so I thought Dutch pronoun system would be pretty familiar, but I just looked it up and damn, it's definitely not and it's super interesting! I can see why the Netherlands is finding it tricky to decide on how to do gender-neutral personal pronouns. The thing about "haar-ziekte" is especially fascinating.
Only a small info:
Non-Binary means not only lack of gender but in principle everything that is not assigned to, e.g. man and woman.
If man and woman are two end poles of a scale e.g. 0 and 1 then 0.5 would also count as nonbinary so all those who define themselves in terms of gender
between man and woman, both at the same time also belong to the Non-Binary category.
And all others who are outside this Scala and have other categories for their gender identity and which persons have lack of gender.
I am an agender myself and my identity does not include a gender, or I haven't found it :-).
@@Honk4frogs That's why I use die/(hun/)hen or hen/(hun/)hen (or z'r, or diens, though that's kind of old-fashioned), but I'm also curious what Dutch gender neutral pronouns other people have come up with (I've also heard of dei or dij as a sort of Dutch version of "they")
"yeah but like are you girl nonbinary or boy nonbinary?"
Me, a boy-girl bigender: *_Yes_*
I was listening to this podcast that has a non binary character in, and one of the other characters addressed everyone as "ladies and gentlemen, friends beyond binary" and I just loved that
Aaaaww!!❣️
I will now only be referred to as m’theydy. IT IS MAJESTIC.
Of course m'theydy :)
*tips hat, holds door open, offers tea * M’theydy
We are all m’theydys
As you wish m'theydy
Wonderful idea m'theydy
My sister’s baby isn’t old enough to say it yet, but my family all refer to me as “Pibling” around them (parent’s sibling) and I LOVE it 💜
That's adorable.
Wow, that's so clever! Good for you c:
I'd have prefered pibling too! I'm cis, but it was very uncomfortable being called "aunt" when I were in my 20s!!
oh that's SO CUTE :')
hey Jamey, as a non-binary human being I was asked by someone from an older generation what being non-binary meant and why I have a different name. Basically saying when I was younger I was in a costume most of my life and only recently found the strength to take the costume off as well as the name tag that wasn't my own. Her reaction and willingness to try and understand made me very happy I almost cried on the spot
As a scientist, I can confirm there are more than 2 sexes accepted in biology. Intersex individuals and individuals without sex organs exist and have since the dawn of time. Also an organisms' hormones and environment are far more important than the reproductive organs in function and expression of certain traits. Humans are no different, and tons of variation exists in nature too. Hyena females are one example ( if a bit extreme) in how the appearance of a living things sex organs don't mean diddly squat in the long run. Psychology and my field, Neuroscience ( yay for brains!) also absolutely have solid scientific evidence that in many animals, including humans, that there are more than just binary male and female. Mice without reproductive organs are often used to help confirm certain results and different hormones are being looked at to see why some subsets of people are less or more prone to certain disorders. The reproductive organs are really not that important in the grand scheme of things 🤷🏿♀️
At school when we were playing dodgeball and we were playing boys v girls, the teacher would let me and other non binary classmates choose our teams, damn she was awesome
I was never recognized as NB/trans & didn't even know what the fuck that meant, but... I remember I usually wound up getting to pick whatever team I went on & it felt so fucking good. At least until puberty because then my boobs decided for me & I was suddenly "distracting". 🙄
Thats awesome. Didnt even know nonbinary was a thing when I went to school (that was around 10 years ago)
@@ZijnShayatanica It still surprises me just how much boobs are annoying and in the way endlessly.
im not nb but im a closeted bi girl living in a conservative, homophobic, racist, and trumpie state and honestly you keep me going jamie
Same, but abro trans guy.
Im a bi trump voter
I hope you're okay sending you my love💕💕
@@jordanburdett4979 i respect that but whyd u feel the need to comment that lol
@@breakingboardrooms1778 :)
As Bruno Mars said once:
"When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for a while
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
"
YESSS
b-b-bruno mars *tommyinnit flashbacks*
I love the feeling when people ask if im a girl or boy and i just look at them and say nether and they look confused .it brings me happiness
every time i see the word non-binary i automatically think of the “how do non-binary samurais kill people” i literally cant escape it
They / them
See also, how do nonbinary fanfic writers depict relationships between their favorite characters?
Dont forget: Why did the non-binary prospector move west in 1849
@@FrozEnbyWolf150 wait ive never heard that one
@@lauvayed Slash fiction. It's when fanfic writers portray homosexual relationships between two lead characters of a franchise, i.e. Kirk / Spock, or Cloud / Sephiroth.
Hey, everyone. I know some of you have been having horrific times, so I’m just here to remind you that you’re loved. You all deserve the world, and I’m very glad to have you all here still with us You will always, always be valid, needed and incredible people. Please, don’t forget to take care of yourselves today. I believe in you and hope your week has been amazing so far.
Yay! I love your comments!
thanks Cactus, i needed this rn :>
:o Another Cactus!
Thanks
I needed this and it makes me happy. Thank you
Thanks to whoever corrected that image at 2:10 👏 I came across the incredibly offensive “original” version posted on the Facebook page of an anti-feminist/religious zealot/homophobic group (by accident - a friend “liked” one of their benign posts and I went to the source).
Anyway, I challenged them on it in a comment and said out how insulting and wrong the image was and why. They blocked me from their page, but one of my friends said they took down that post, so…a sort of victory…? 🙅🏻♀️🥳🧐
Jamie has given me much more confidence to stand up to those types of people and let them know their “humor” isn’t funny or acceptable. Thanks, Jamie & Co. 🌈💖
I always hated in English classes when we were taught that we had to use he/him as the “neutral” pronouns in formal essays. I tried to get around it by writing things like “a person” or “a reader” or something actually neutral. Now I’m so happy to see more people accepting and creating more gender neutral pronouns
He/him isn't gender neutral what? Your teacher sounds like they didn't actually learn the subject they teach :/
My English teacher (I'm from Germany, currently training) got me bubbling with anger last thursday, she said that you can call someone either he or she or may ask what they identify with because there is not other pronoun (except he/she/it but it only for stuff like the sun or a plant) while I'm out there going by they/them! Thank you for saving my week
Your English teacher seems like they haven't studied English since 1317, as that is when the they/them pronoun was first used as singular
Next time ask your teacher to sit with the other students and make a powerpoint with movie extract proving that they/them is valid as a singular pronoun ;) (kinding... mostly)
@Louan_UwU yeah, I asked my German teacher what to use, and it became awkward real quick... I love the language, hate the lack of my pronouns. Although, in Sweden we say hen/hens/henom so I don't think we are much better, considering most cis people " joke" about enbys being birds or chickens....
@@littlemissbump100 In the English language, we've never used the pronoun "they" to refer to someone we know their identity and their sex. We use it when the person is unknown to avoid saying "he or she"
@@firasjemil213 Sure, but it being used as a singular pronoun in the first place makes it much easier to use when referring to non-binary people as you can just keep using it instead of having to invent a whole new pronoun.
I'm a person who falls under the binary and non binary umbrella you reading binary and non binary trans memes always makes my day
Same 😊
Yup same
"Are you a boy or girl?"
"I'm cute!"
That's what I'm using from now on, that's my exact thought process. My gender is cuteness
i thought i was nonbinary before figuring out that i'm a transman. the whole process of figuring myself out definitely helped me figure out who is really supportive of me and who isn't. it's so nice to see more support for nonbinary peeps!
I legally changed my name before I even fully came out as nonbinary to most people and it was actually VERY empowering. (This was after trying the name out for several months with my spouse and our close friends who I speak to every day and making sure I absolutely loved it.) I didn't have a single person try to "talk me out of" changing my name, because I had ALREADY DONE IT. I changed my coming out story from "here's what i'm thinking about doing" to "here's what i've already done, just catching you up" and I honestly cannot recommend it enough.
Any advice for places to update after I get the legal name change document? I know social security, ID, and credit card, but I'm probably forgetting some stuff.
@@alexshemwell8320 hi! youll want to update your social security before you update your BMV ID because BMV IDs verify your identity with your social security records :) youre also gonna want to update your birth certificate, your passport (if you have one), immigration documents (if youre an immigrant), and your voter registration if you're registered to vote. the order doesnt matter other than your social security card and ID. :)
@@alexshemwell8320 Yes! The process is going to depend heavily on where you live, so I would suggest looking up guides for your specific state/country. Make a list (I used an app called Notion but you can use an excel spreadsheet or something similar) and write down the specific documents each thing needs and how to contact them. You will need to do some things in a particular order (for example if you need your new ID to change your bank accounts you would need to do your ID first). I kept all of my documents in a file folder and I took that folder with me to every appointment. Even if they say they just need your ID you would be surprised how often having the court order or an additional document came in handy.
You will discover things as you go, but here is a good starting list (not necessarily in this order):
- ID / drivers license
- Social Security
- Passport / Immigration records
- Birth certificate
- Credit cards / bank accounts / loans / checkbooks
- Phone plan / voicemail
- Insurance (health, car, home)
- Car titles
- Doctors / Dentists / Pharmacies / Therapists (make sure you tell your relevant insurance FIRST and find out when you can start having providers file claims under your new name)
- College (whether you are a current or former student, you want potential employers to be able to confirm any degrees you earned under your new name)
- Online accounts (emails, social media, Amazon, anything that uses your credit card will need to be updated once you change that)
- Employers / Landlords / Professors
- Post office (if necessary, usually you can just change the label in your mail box)
- Financial accounts / retirement accounts
- Voter registration
- Library cards
- Mortgage companies
- Club Memberships (Costco, etc.)
This list is not exhaustive so if anyone has others to add, please do!
I 100% plan to change my legal name and not tell my conservative relatives. If they happen to get ahold of my id and wonder about it, I'll tell them I was a joke. Also planning to change my gender marker to x and if they notice I'll ask them "why does the government need to know my what's in my pants?" with utmost suspicion. I also plan to always 'jokingly' point out that my *legal* name is Robin, and there's nothing they can do to stop me.
I know this comment is several months old but
I read an article on queer people in France and one of the people interviewed had said that this was how it was in France, you didn't say "mom, dad, I think I'm gay" you come home and say "I'm gay, this is my boyfriend, that's just how it is." I don't know if it's actually true of all of France but I've spent a lot of time mulling over that potential cultural difference and how it can be summarized, and I think this comment echoes that basic idea very well.
"It's Nobody's business" had me giggling cause I'm a mythology nerd and I remembered The Odyssey
Nobody must be the doctor. XD
I've been watching Doom Patrol where the main villain is Mr. Nobody, and I keep waiting for him to blind someone.
I love mythology (specifically Greek and Roman) and now I can’t think about this any other way!
:,)
οὖτις knows your gender
Just the other day, my best friend (who I’ve known since we were in kindergarten) and I accidentally started to come out to each other on text, through one of our text battles. (We go back and forth forever countering each other to see who can’t continue first.) We ended up calling and talking for over 7 hours, and during those seven hours, he came out as trans (ftm). I then came out as trans masc. and non-binary, and we both had a long, kind of fun talk about everything related to that. By the end of the day, we’d both decided to confidentiality change our names in just our online things that only we use. All the places our parents never check, basically. So now we both have our (in his case masculine and in my case more gender neutral) names in our chat app and other online apps. It’s been really freeing, even though we can only call each other by our new names and use our real pronouns around each other. It also helped us both knowing the other was also experiencing gender dysphoria, and it’s really amazing to have a friend like him 😊
As an enby who just found out who I am, I can happily say that I genuinely made an excited squeal when I saw that Jaimie made a video about enbies :)))))
Jaimie, you make my day better every time I see your content. Hope y’all have a nice day ❤️❤️🐸🐸🌿🌿🍄🍄🌟🌟
me and my friend age 14:
me: yeah, we are girls!!
my friend: right! it’s cool being a girl!
me and my friend age 16:
me: *confused in demigirl*
my friend: *cries in genderfluid*
RELATABLE hello fellow demigirl
Hello fellow demigirl!!!
Sorry, but what was demigirl or demiboy again? I mix those up way too often...
@@schokoloko2092 demigirl basically means that you identify as a woman most of the time but like not fully (?) And demiboy is the same thing, but with boys
(omg i hope i wrote that right, i am still trying to fully understand some labels)
@@klifford4669 so it's kinda genderfluid but more specific? 🤔😅
This video definitely lifted my spirits. Even though I’m 33, I’m in both the gender and sexuality closets because I live with my conservative parents. Every time I get included in a “girls’ night,” I die a little inside.
Hope good times find you soon💛
Seriously!! And if I hear _"you go, girl!"_ one more time, I'm finna GO... To jail. 😆🤣
@@ZijnShayatanica What about, "You go, friend!" Would that be something that you feel at peace hearing about yourself?
Asking as an ally. I know not all people in a similar situation have the same preferences, but I'm always looking for ways to be a positive voice in the crowd of too much ugly.
@@tinkeramma That sounds pretty good. Or "You got this!" IDK.
I really appreciate you taking the time to learn more. 💜
@@ZijnShayatanica Or in the words of my 5 year old daughter, "You're crushin' it!"
It's one of her favorite things to say to people working out, doing something she thinks is hard, or who have put effort into how they look. And she does not discriminate by gender or how awkward it is to approach a random stranger.
as a genderfluid who sometimes identifies with they/them pronouns, this is very cute. much love to all enbies out there, you're all amazing.
When did you decide that ?
@@jujugatolliat9644 does it really matter? stop asking queer people pointless questions.
I'm really glad you make these vids. Unfortunately even WITHIN the community, non-binary people are often ignored and invalidated constantly. Don't even get me started on how ppl treat those with neo pronouns. It's such a breath of fresh air.🥰🌈
My mom when she found out i'm non-binary: SO YOU HAVE BEEN LYING TO ME ALL THIS TIME?? WHY WAS I THE LAST ONE TO KNOW?
My mom 2 years later and after my sister also came out as trans: hii, just wanted to let you know that i have been researching and reading a lot about trans kids. I also joined four parent support groups, and I wanted to ask if I'm doing everything right.
I love how she was mad she didn't get to support you for longer.
I adore your mom. That's exactly how I want to be with my kids.
So.... I have to ask....do you have a good replacement for the word daughter/son? Asking because my eldest (now adult) child is non-binary and I just cannot find a good replacement word that doesn't sound like I am referring to a young child or an animal. I know child/kid are gender neutral, but it doesn't feel right for an adult. I have been referring to them as my eldest, but my husband doesn't like that as it makes him think of old people instead of our kid. Offspring sounds like they came out of a breeding program, sprog makes me think of a little kid..... english is missing some words, we need to fix that.
seriously considering calling them my spud, will probably confuse everyone around us though.
@@irdairda514 Sorry, i live in a non english speaker country, so i don't really know what would sound best in that case, but i love the spud idea lol
"You" used to be plural too. And you bet people were annoyed as it became singular, but now nobody cares. Seems like how 'they' might turn out in a hundred years. If that happens I'm looking forwards to t'all (Like y'all, but with they).
I love t'all, and will start using it now.
It'll probably be th'all but it sounds fun haha
The annoying thing is singular they has been in use longer in writing than singular informal you and yet transphobes still don’t get it
「ð'all're up, are y'all up too?」
(ð for those who don't know, is the voiced th sound in they or the or though (not to be confused with the unvoiced th in thunder or thorn))
They have been used for singular for longer than you have been used for singular.
I’m so happy lol, I pretty much just started my first year of gymnasium (like Swedish high school I think?) and I’m already seeing so many cool androgynous looking people with so many cool and unique styles and I’ve so far seen over 6 people with pride flag buttons on their bags! Ahh yesss!☺️Also I’m getting my first binder soon!!🥲🥲*happy tears* lmao YES!
Same here, I recently moved and changed schools and here on the German Gymnasium so many people have little pride things, like bracelets, key chanes, etc. and that just makes me so happyyy! And I'm so happy for you that you can get your first binder soon!
My younger sibling recently came out as non binary. I'm trying really hard to show them that I support them but sometimes I mess up and say she when they said they prefer he/they. Old habits are hard to break and I really hope I'm not hurting my little sibling.
Most trans and non-binary people know when someone has just made an honest mistake out of habit.
The important thing is to not call attention to your mistake. Going "OMG I'M SO SORRY I'M SUCH A BAD PERSON I DIDN'T MEAN TO MESS UP." is just a bit awkward for everyone. The best thing to do is simply go, "sorry, I meant [correct pronouns]" and move on.
Drawing and thinking about yourself as the opposite gender as a child would probably help tons of trans kids honestly. One of the biggest hurdles is not even realizing that's an option.
Hmm interesting thought! 🤔
Maybe you could make a task to draw yourself with any gender you'd like. So you would have the opportunity to try something out, without the binary shit.
So glad for the modern internet trend of rule 63: all characters gender-swapped.
As a kid, my siblings and I would dress in each other's clothes, and I would call my brother my sister and my sister my brother. My parents never objected. They didn't do a lot of things right as those things go, but that was one of them.
They’d better say “draw yourself as an other gender” instead of “the other gender”, implying there is only 2
I used to draw myself like that all the time when I was a kid, mostly because I was drawing myself into my favourite stories, and the boys always had the best parts, even if the girls had better clothes. No surprise whatsoever that I've grown up to be a genderfluid enby.
At school one of my friends is non-binary (assigned female at birth) They we’re in the bathroom (they don’t like going into the bathroom because we don’t have non gendered bathrooms) and I was just leaving and they just walked over to be and hugged me and didn’t let go for awhile
It was so sweet 🥺
Although I appreciate that you care for your friend and I think it's very sweet I think it wasn't necessary to include their assigned gender (I would make sure to avoid doing this as it can be hurtful) I know you mean well tho! :)
How sweet, thank you for sharing! They seem to be really grateful that you're in their life
Is it just me or are all "non binaries" unattractive teenage girls?
@@firasjemil213 excuse you ?
@@firasjemil213 tf is wrong with you
My daughter has a friend who came out as transgender at the end of grade 8 (they are in grade 10 now) and they just received their grade 9 year books. The school, despite the teachers and students all calling the boy by his new name last year from the start, for some reason printed his dead name in the yearbook. So my daughter and her friends got together and convinced the other kids in their grade to scribble it out and get him to sign his name underneath the picture.
This is wonderful!
teacher: draw yourself as the opposite gender
me being Genderfluid: *Yes but actually no*
Leave the page blank- lmao
@@ProjectSebastiann WHY DIDN’T I DO THAT
I didn’t figure it out yet so I just stared at the page with visible confusion and my teacher got mad at me for not drawing anything
Teacher: today we are going to draw ourselves as the opposite gender
Me, if I were non binary: draws three headed centaur cthulhu. One head gets a crown, one gets a halo and one has its tentacle beard dreaded into a baloon dog with flowers sticking from it.
I need to see this
@@I_GET_NO_SL33P SAME
Hello I like your name. Do you happen to be a part of the aa community?
as an agender person, idk how i would draw myself? me holding a pangender flag instead of agender?? no gender is the opposite of all gender i guess
"NO PE" was me in high school; I did theatre for phys-ed credit instead of gym class. (Yay for stage-fight training!) I'd say "Does that make me two genders?", but I'm already genderfluid.
Pretty appropriate, since Phys Ed is that one class where many schools still segregate students by boys and girls. It fortunately wasn't that way in my school growing up, but I still hated that class.
I wish I couldv'e taken theater for a phys-ed credit 😔
@@ThatCatmeow Same - I would've *passed* theatre!
Kind reminder that not all Non-binary people adopt they/them pronouns, non-binary should not be solely defined as they/them
I'm personally not a fan of My'Theydy or any non-binary inclusive term that involves they/them in the word since not all non-binary people use them
do you want a fucking medal?
Omg I’m non-binary and it just makes me feel so good that people here are saying we are valid 🥰🥰🥰
The Pumpkin King’s Decree:
“The Patch welcomes all. Thou shalt only be excluded if thee tryeth to exclude others.”
Hell yeah, Pumpkin King
I nearly choked on the orange I was eating at “M’theydy” 😂😂😂
Gentlethem too
Welcome, ladies gentlemen aaaand gentethems to the greatest show of your life
That kinda thing
"are you girl nonbinary or boy nonbinary" "what kind of question is that???"
me, a nonbinary guy: :/
What. I think you might be a Demi-boy
@@billyjim0733 no i'm a nonbinary guy. get it right
Thank you for spreading enby positivity, it means a lot! Right now I am not going through a good period of my life. I am non-binary and I am scared to be myself at the university but at the same time being perceived as a girl every day is very painful. With my queer friends I use she/he/they pronouns but with people from my university I force myself to stick to she/her only, because it is safer and easier. And I shame myself for this decision every day. Because I should be brave. Because if I don't come out, if other people don't come out then we will be invisible for the society. So every day I am thinking about whether I should come out or not. And it really bothers me. So your video made me smile after the whole day of these negative thoughts. Thank you!
I know I'm late, but is it not brave to withstand such a difficult situation? Is it not brave to live "behind enemy lines", as it were, in secret, isolated, and afraid? You cannot be brave if you are not afraid, because bravery is the acceptance of fear, not the absence of it.
You are brave. You are doing what you need to do to keep yourself safe. You can come out when you're ready, and if you're never ready, that's okay, too.
Sending you internet hugs if you want them.
“You... are YOU!”
-Hooty from the Owl House
Just want to pop in and say: You can be a "girl nonbinary" or "boy nonbinary", even if that doesn't entirely explain it. If your gender is both feminine -and- other, but not masculine, that is completely normal. Non-Binary is a very big umbrella group, and in addition to Non-Binary people, it also includes several subsects within it.
Anyone who are not strictly "man" or "woman" fits into non-binary, whether they are Genderqueen, Genderfluid, Agender, Demi-, Neuter, etc!
Still not a cool thing for someone to ask, but it is important to keep in mind.
I agree with what you said, but I think usually when (cis) people ask this, what they are really implying is "ok, I'll entertain your silly made-up gender, but I want to know what your genitals are". I'm sure you are already aware of those implications, but just wanted to point it out for anyone who is not familiar with why asking is rude.
Girl nonbinary doesn't exist , the correct term is demigirl and boy nonbinary doesn't exist, the correct term is demiboy
as a genderfluid person, i identify as *yes*
I sent this to my recently out non-binary friend. Thank you so much for making videos supporting all of the community 💛👻💜🖤
Before I knew I was trans a little boy pointed at me and said “You look like a BOYYY” and I couldn’t understand why I felt so much joy
This makes my non-binary heart happy :)
same :))
Same
Same
same :D❤
I'm nonbinary, bisexual, and love ali from squid game too........
My boyfriend is straight/cis and I'm pan/nonbinary. He is my biggest supporter and didn't bat an eye when I asked to be called partner instead of girlfriend. It's such a great feeling to have someone support my identity no matter what
Wait, he can’t be straight when he’s dating a NB. He has to be Pan. No offense just pointing that out.
@@RandomEdits084 straight...adjacent
@@RandomEdits084 i agree with what you say (but I think you can also be Bi or Omni and still be dating a non binary person).....but I also think that If the non binary person involved in the relationship don't feel unconfortable about their boyfriend's sexuality then it's no one else business.
@@Kian_0708 As a lesbian myself, I’m pretty confident our L label doesn’t include NB. I find it offensive to erase what LESBIAN means. It’s exclusively for WOMEN WHO LOVE WOMEN, not women who love non-male. That’s what pan/bi/queer labels are for. Also, Straight means people who are attracted to OPPOSITE GENDER. NB is not in gender binary, so yeah, the label straight is not for their boyfriend. I’m not picking on them or anything, just simply pointing that they mislabeled their boyfriend. Maybe like, have some respect for common sense, guys? You could use your correct terms without budging in other people’s labels.
@@RandomEdits084 all sexuality’s include nb and trans people?? Lesbian does too it be transphobic if it didn’t.
Over the last month I've had the courage to tell 2 of my closest friends that I'm Non-binary. I'm still struggling with what to say to my parents and partner.. thank you for the validation and spark of courage.
honestly going to a private military school and everyone wearing the same uniforms kept me from truly questioning my gender. i still experienced dysphoria but it wasn’t as bad bc we all looked the same. it wasn’t until i graduated hs & started college that i realized i always dressed super gender neutral that my mom was like “why don’t you try putting on a dress one day, you might catch a guy’s attention” and i literally thought to myself “being a girl is not for me” not even knowing what exactly i meant by that. pansexual and non-binary person here 😭💁🏾
edit: also just watched a few of your non-binary content & i feel very much seen. 🫶🏽🏳️🌈
I was honestly having a really rough time with my dysphoria recently so this was honestly just the wholesome enby content I needed
Thank you as always Jamie.
Hi,i hope your day is gonna be better. I bet you look really cool today!
@@ghosty4892 awe thanks. Tbh- not really my mom forced me to wear some stuff I don't want to, but I really do appreciate it
I hope you have a good day 🤍
@@Z.A.N.E oh im sorry that she wont let you :(
You seem like an amazing person. And i hope that soon you can dress how u want! Bc when u can u probably look as amazing as you are!!!!
@@ghosty4892 thanks, you seem like a great person too. Thank you so much
Me: This weekend can't possibly get better
Jamie: *You underestimate my power*
Did you mean to type underestimate instead :0
@@at3091 Oh, yeah sorry lol
1:16 whenever I’m writing songs, I always use you or they/them pronouns, so it can be applied to most ppl really (also I’m non-binary myself so it only makes sense)
5:09 My younger sibling said as a joke once m’ theythem and now everyone says it and it’s become one of my favourite family jokes 🥰
I’ve unfortunately never been able to experience that feeling of gender euphoria where a person just can’t figure out which gender they think I am. Either they see me when I’m dressed masculine and think I’m a boy or I’m dressed feminine and they think I’m a flat chested girl
But what gender are you though? (Trying to replicate the situation so that you get to experience it also but it not working because its online). I hope you get to experience it soon 🖤. Also what works for me (im afab so maybe it wont work when your amab) is just hiding yourself in big trousers, a big hoody, a beanie or hat and put on your mask 😂 but yeah, id rather live my life without hiding
@@lincymoonen228 I’m non-binary so I just want someone to not assume that I’m a boy or a girl for once in my life
I've never experienced that either and never will because I'm sadly very short and curvy. I wish I looked as androgynous as I feel but I never am perceived as anything but a woman :/
Unfortunately, depending on where you live, the vast majority of society isn't even aware that non-binary is an option, so boy/girl is the first thing try to figure out about you. Although sometimes if people do think you're something other than cis I feel they are ruder to you. For example, when I go on walks in our neighborhood with my partner, I will smile and nod politely as we pass by people and a lot of people just scowl at me in a confused way rather than smile and nod politely back. My partner is also a large Native American man, so I'm never quite sure if their rudeness is because they think I'm a gay twink boy, they think I'm a mtf trans woman, they are racist against my partner, or they just have no social skills. Or if I am out on my own I kind of assume people think I'm a butch lesbian. Basically, everything except what I actually am, which is non-binary (afab), because only people who are involved in the LGBT+ community actually consider it as an option.
@@coralovesnature very true. I hope with enough education we can change the way people think a bit
This video is so amazing.. I identify as non-binary (specifically agendered) and the amount of times at school where it’s spilt boys and girls I never know which way to go because I don’t identify with either. But knowing there’s a community out there which is supportive even is schools can’t show that through changing to be more accepting to people who don’t just identify as a boy or a girl is amazing
Yeah. Pe sucks for me, demigirl. My English teacher is so heteronormative as well that he gave me less of a grade for using my friend's correct pronouns (she/they, same as me)
Oh, that just means you're exempt from the activities. Same goes for any laws that use "he or she" wording. Be they, do crimes.
Sit alone. Fucking scream at the void with your actions that splitting into boys and girls is dumb.
I'm non-binary (agender specifically) so this makes me happy. Everyone is valid 🏳️🌈🌈🏳️⚧️ ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Just came to the full realization that I’m non binary while on a camping trip with my nb best friend and I feel great! This video makes it even better 😁
My class had a writing prompt once to write about being the opposite gender. Idk if anyone in the class was non-binary, but as a class discussion we concluded that nothing would change about our teacher. Her personality was so uniquely *their's* that they would look, act, be the exact same person no matter their body. "Non-binary" wasn't a term being used at that time, so we had no label for it other than saying she would be exactly the same.
In school I felt like I didn’t fit either group really but I preferred the girls group.
I was forced to be in the boys group for sports. I am enby/demiwoman(?) and it’s one of those things looking back, it is so dumb.
I was so happy to be in a mixed PE group for a couple years in high school. Then we got older and the teachers claimed "it's not fair because of the natural difference in strength between the boys and the girls" so we lost it. But it was great while we had it. I got to wear a t-shirt and shorts over my swimming costume and it was allowed for privacy from the boys' eyes in the mixed group, but then in the girls' it wasn't allowed anymore even though I still wasn't comfortable in just a swimming costume. Wish I'd known about all this gender stuff then, it might've been easier to figure out.
I always preferred to group with guys if given the choice when I was in school. Still do, lol. I didn't know that being nonbinary was a thing until I was an adult, though. All I knew was I felt out of place with the girls but didn't really want to be a boy either. I'm slowly coming out at 35.
I had a pe class where I was in the girls group but most of them didn’t want to play any sports, making it not fun to be there.
it was really frustrating watching all the guys have fun, while my friend and I were running up and down the field by ourselves(friend made it fun tho)
I just started identifying as non-binary a couple of days ago, so this was so reaffirming! Thanks!
✨😽✌️✨
I'm non-binary, and my friends call me "person with organs" instead of "ma'am" or "sir". It's w o n d e r f u l
4:10 Hey, that’s Cheryl from the trans-focused Webtoon “I want to be a cute anime girl”. It’s a really good comic.
Cheryl is best girl
Yess!! I love that comic!!
Welp, time to get webtoon
I love how both him and OT when reading the four genders joke at the beginning said no pee instead of nope. 😂
omg i MUST drop the "Hello their" on my NB partner like a dad joke greeting XD
This video is literally exactly what I needed right now!! Got misgendered yesterday based on how my voice sounds and I was feeling really down abt that. Thank you sm for diving into this sub again :D
I can’t count the amount of times someone has said to me, “But, your a girl right?” I just want to scream every time, “NO, I JUST EXPLAINED TO YOU WHAT I AM!!!!”
Time to stop explaining, then. State the facts, if they don't like it, they can fuck off. You don't need unnecessary bullshit like that. Bigoted comments like that shouldn't be given a single speck of attention. :)
Oh yes, nonbinary content!! :)
Also, hi Jamie, hope you have a great day/evening/night!
'Never ask:
A man their salary,
A woman their age,
Or fazbear entertainment where your children are.'
Oh my god, this is just what I needed Jamie! Thank you so much for this video 😊
So I am a non-binary with a shaved head and one time someone at my school asked if I was male or female and I hesitated then responded with, "yes" 😅
as a non-binary person who gets misgendered and called my deadname on purpose all the time by kids at school, this video made me so happy
I am so sorry. I hope it gets better for you, or you can change schools.
@@SammyLammy1D yeah me too thank you ❤
You. Are. Valid.
The M'they'de one was so heart warming!! Jamie my man please do some more Ace/Demi memes as I know we ace folks are even kept from certain LGBTQIA+++ spaces as we are not seen as LGBTQIA++ and not seen as Cis either... Not that I have ever felt that from this community the spuds are awesome and cool and amazing
I recently came out to all my teachers at my school as non-binary (including the principal) and I've been so nervous because I haven't actually gone to school yet to see their reaction, this was just the video I needed to gain my confidence to go back to school!
My creative writing teacher gave us a prompt where we wrote about ourselves as either the opposite gender or an animal
I did both
Our PE teacher always makes us split up into boys and girls lines so I stand in the middle and my friend (who is a Demigirl) stands between me and the girls line😅
I wish I had the confidence u have ❤️
This video made me smile, thank you! 😊
4:09 felt this one. I don't know if I'm ever going to fully go through with this phase, but I ended an email with 'Bastion' for the first time today, which was fab.
Ayy,, we have almost the same name!
@@ProjectSebastiann Sebastian is my favourite boy's name, so I shortened it to make it more gender neutral :D
@@Bastion90 Ayy thats great!
My mom saw the NB ring I bought and asked what it meant. She said she doesn't completely understand but hopes to one day & she still loves me. I'm grateful to finally feel comfortable in my skin--it's just taken 44 years to find that peace and acceptance.
Love it when people cover enby memes I feel so included :)
I don't know what my gender is so these videos are just me popping in and vibing with jamie while seeing what all there is
The "I can't tell if you are a boy or a girl" meme was fucking great!
This made me so happy, as someone who has been trying to come out as non-binary for so long but constantly being held back by other people, this gave me so much more confidence, Jamie is the best !!