Donald Jr.'s Testimony Summarized: 'I Do Not Recall'
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- čas přidán 29. 08. 2024
- Anything Jeff Sessions cannot recall, Donald Trump Jr. cannot remember better!
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.
At least we have reached the point that when I tell my baby brother he is acting like Trump, he immediately bursts into tears.
Now that's FUNNY!!
Guy Digging that is so wrong
Guy Digging
😁😁😁
An excellent analogy, Donny Dirtbag is a pouty, baggy assed three year old.
thibaut barguil
It's taken that long??
Holy crap. Stephen nailed the impressions of those three presidents.
When the monologue is one peace, oh the gods have bestowed us with a gift on this fine Friday!
Colbert = living legend
Bro he Killed it lmao, That "Worst Case Scenario Simon Cowell" Lol
Colbert's presidential impersonations are absolute gold!
So true
They are pathetic and unfunny because he clearly has a biased point of view.
@@11bkev no they aren't, and you only think otherwise because you have a biased point of view
Colbert's "douchebag" voice for Jr is spot on!
He’s sounds like my cousins’ step dad 😂😂
No that's more of a jock voice.
11O1OO111OOO nah it’s a douche voice it’s just many many jocks are also douches
Ro G
American Psycho.
Ro G
Really? I was thinking he wasn't adding enough douche to it to be believable.
"I do not recall..."
Who does he think he is, Jeff Sessions?!
Accio Username lmao
Exactly what I was thinking!
Judge: What's your name:
Jeff Sessions: I don't recall!
+Accio Username What did you have for breakfast a few hours ago..."I Do Not Recall"
Or Alberto Gonzales, Tom Delay, Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld, Oliver North, Edwin Meese... etc. Lol
Sometimes I think Giuliani is secretly against Trump.
Arturo Valdemar
Nah he's just trying to seed the plausibility of preexisting behavior.
Its better to portray Trump as a possible sleaze bag then have there be no doubt that his actions were politically driven.
Arturo Valdemar he’s a mole
If that's the case then Giuliani is a master of revenge!
Yes, I have had the same thoughts now and then. Could be, but that is difficult to know.
Arturo Valdemar i think so too
"Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason".
*Mark Twain*
You know what, I prefer his at home shows. The genuine laughter from his family made it so much better.
Agreed and I hope his wife laughing just off camera stays forever!
I have a 7 year old who's figured out that lying doesn't work if you just keep changing your story until something 'sticks'. Wonder when Donny Jr. will hit that developmental milestone.
It's like he's using Hillary's playbook huh?
Not in this lifetime..!!! LOL
New Message, telling a few lies doesn't work but lying no stop is very effective. According to polls, the large majority of Republicans believe Trump is innocent and the witch hunt is real.
Joshua Nelson watch out she’s behind you!!
Actually no. Hillary was investigated and didn't cry about it ever second and of course they came up empty handed. In Trumps case, new evidence of the corruption, fraud and pay to play schemes come out ever day. A number of people indited. 6 people now have plead guilty, the newest being Manfort's son-in-law and he is not working with Mueller.
Maybe they are using the same playbook and the difference is due to Hillary being innocent and Trump being guilty of too many crimes to count.
Interviewer: “so is Mr Trump innocent?”Giuliani: “Well legally you can’t indict a sitting president.”
Nuff Said
Only for certain crimes, think of it as Diplomatic immunity.
But after he's no longer in office… Wham, Bam, thank you Ma'am!
raptorblader
Like...crimes.
James Schrader
No, there's not a long list. Bush's Patriot Act is the most egregious set of violations of civil rights to date that gave rise to what continued in the Obama administration.
BTW, no one "infiltrated" Trump's campaign. A single informant was in contact with George Papadopoulos who had already raised a red flag when he told the Australian ambassador that he was in contact with elements within the Russian government. The FBI had no involvement in the campaign itself. There were no spies involved.
And don't forget Warren G. Harding.
"I never taught you to lie. That's why you're so *BAD* at it." - Thanos to Gamora, 2018 (Alternatively: Donald to Donjr, 2018)
19thHour plz push jr of a cliff for the no jail stone
Except that the trump's are really awful at it. Both of them can't tell a sensible lie.
Correction... Donald likely did taught jr to lied, that's why it's so bad...
19thHour Best comment 🏆😂
19thHour
*Hey! Spoiler warning?*
Damn, man... It's bad enough I already figured out if anyone died, who they were, and _how_ they died thanks to random internet spoilers.
Once again hitting the nail on the head. Thank you Stephen
"His toilet burger"! Thank the Gods that we have laughter to get us through this; We love you Stephen
"Dad gets angry when you interrupt his toilet burger" is modern poetry. Shakespeare, almost. If he werent dead.
"I Do Not Recall" should be the slogan for Trump 2020.
moonwalkingthroughlife haaaah! haaaah!
moonwalkingthroughlife
Or Trump for prison 2020. Now that would truly make America great again.
Worked for Sessions.
moonwalkingthroughlife Trump 2020, MAGA! ☆ ★ ☆ ★ Fk the snowflake libtards
"Remember when Trump was president?"
"I do not recall."
Or an idea for a new movie. "Total Do Not Recall"
Comedy gold. Warmest greetings with a dash of sunshine from Nairobi, Kenya.
Trump's birthplace! Why won't he show his birth certificate?
On fire Mr Colbert, truly on fire ....love your work.
Colbert's monologues are the best in late night tv. There ive said it!
Happy Muellerversary!
Ark 42 okay now he can GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!!!
Ark 42 Mueller and deepstate puppets going down
jereme Erxleben As long as President Clown and his goons go down with 'em. Here's something you'd like: Go stick Hannity up your ass, idiot.
Morgan Field go ahead support deepstate Mueller and his lies keep eating the shit they feed you Trump 2020 MAGA! ☆ ★ ☆ ★ Trump and his goons are here to stay.
jereme Erxleben lmao alright kid, nice stars
"...worse case scenario Simon Cowell" LOLd
1. There was no meeting
2. The meeting wasn´t at Trump tower
3. There weren´t any russians
4. None of us met with any russians
5. None of us met with any russians connected to the russian government
6. Didn´t know what the meeting was about
7. Meeting joined by Jared, Don jr and Manafort wasn´t important
8. The meeting with russians connected to the russian government wasn´t about collusion
9. The meeting with russians connected to the russian government was only about sanctions
10. Meeting with russians was nothing because they had no dirt on Hillary
11. Trump never knew about Don jr, Jared & Manfort meeting russians in Trump Tower
...
Notice how that mirrors their Climate Change stance as well, from
"Climate Change isn't happening" back then
to
"Our actions aren't the biggest contributor to greenhouse gasses" today
You forgot the whole adoption thing
That's a damn good list of the many versions of one lie that the Trump family has admitted, each version inching closer to the truth. Somebody out there has got to have evidence of Don Jr calling Don Sr during that meeting. Please leak the evidence, so we all can have a national holiday!!!
+Comrade Trump The _Adoption Thing_ is the _Sanctions Thing._ Putin's angry response to the Magnitsky Act's passage (sanctions against Putin-connected oligarchs) was to ban Americans from adopting Russian babies. When they say "we were talking about adoptions" it means "we were talking about how we were promising to eliminate sanctions".
Hahahaha! None of the above.
Trump Jr.'s least favorite movie: *Total Recall*
ROFL
Pretty good!
Trump supporters' least favorite movie: The Patriot
MisterB 😂😂😂😂😂
Colbert's impressions of Nixon and Clinton were absolutely brilliant, although, as a Scotsman, I may not be the best judge! Thank God for Colbert - he sees right through Trump's avalanche of lies.
Bruce Maher The *majority* of people with eyes do;-)
So much winning folks
Trump is his best impression.
Best monologue ever.
First year anniversaries require paper gifts, like sealed indictments
One year anniversary gift is paper - as in subpoenas.
TheTwick , clever!
Small subpoenas.
This show is pure genius!!!
Got damn, Colbert in rare form here. One of his best segments in recent memory
I for one do not recall writing this comment,,
Fran Tura
What comment?
I do not recall reading your comment saying you don't recall writing that comment.
Fran Tura What comment?
Fran Tura 😂
@@richarddarlington1139 That’s ridiculous. There never was any comment, and even if there was, since when are comments something you read?
@@Lowkeylie
This was two years ago.
I don't recall making that comment.
I guess he is not blessed with his dad's amazing memory. Poor sod.
EvelineUK sod, good one. A son of a dummy LOL
1:15, I am now using "twote" as the past tense conjugation for the verb "tweet".
Tweet, twote, has twoten?
chez moi Exactly
Lord, have mercy. Stephen went IN on this one!
I very much look forward to Trump's eviction from office. If he committed a crime, he must be put in jail like every other criminal. People are sitting in jail for 25yrs for selling pot. What should he get for selling our country as a traitor?
Shocky Shocky
you guys Americans had serious white collar crime problems since 9/11. FBI used to take white collar crimes a lot more serious before 9/11, now its all terrorism while cripplingly damaging corruptions are pretty much left unchecked and unpunished. Americans need to get this back into the spotlight, only then your country can be sane again. terrorism in another continent will not kill you. these misuse of power in large scale will.
Plum loko
Again I ask...could we tar&feather him now while we're waiting for him to get out of office & be tried & sentenced? He'll have things tied up in courts the next 10-15yrs before an actual trial begins. Haha...sad but true
He should get life in solitary confinement.
My 6 year old son lied to me about eating his vegetables, when I find out that he lied I got angry and I asked why did you lie to me? where do you think lying will get you in life? he simply answered me to the White House.
Kennedy Baz out of the mouths of babes... Sadly true.
And then everybody clapped
Kennedy Baz which is why America MUST see this through. Our children deserve a better example.
@@mmhoss that happned
Politicians are very much like diapers they should be changed as often as possible, and for the same reason. Mark Twain.
Paul H spot on👍
Like father like son liars, liars!
Gloria C The shit didn't fall far from the asshole.😁
...."IS HE GONE??!" The face that Stephen made. Lol😅
"Toilet burger"! HILARIOUS! Thank you Stephen, for helping us to laugh at anything we can, as much as we can, whenever we can; it makes life livable.
Steven was on fire tonight lol. Great show!
9:53 Expert use of the Flashdance song there, Jon :)
"Witch hunt", Nixon July 20, 1972.
Colbert’s on Fireeeee tonight 🔥🔥🔥😂😂😂
I don't know why I'm not a bigger fan of Stephen Colbert because he's good, really good.
Probably because his humor seriously lacks any resemblance of facts or humor. He's a tiny piss ant....a mama's boy...just like Richard Simmons. Pretty sad because he could actually be funny if his joke had any fact to them. Jokes about imaginary crap aren't funny to anyone except the uninformed liberal....but they aren't interested in facts if you just say what they want to hear. He's playing your ads and making$$$ on it😂🤣😂😂
You do know one of his and his wife's best friends are Martha Mcallum and her husband? Staunch conservatives? Did you know that🤣😂🤣😂 he's getting rich off dumbasses like you.
Nik str, obviously you haven't seen the Washington press club address by Colbert. Bigger balls than most.
The whole Trump team is currently beating whatever the world record for "Most collective amnesia" is. Apparently, stupidity isn't the only trait that spreads.
Unknown Error 🎩
😁
👕👍Great!
👖
Im not sure about the about how official the role of the senior advisor to the president is, does he receive money, is he empowered to act or can it just a honorary role privately given (which I doubt) but any government employee or official who when under investigation or called on as a witness can not give more satisfying answers than "I do not recall" should at least immediately be let go as unfit for office. Either they are liars or they are mentally incompetent for holding that position. (eying over to Jeff Sessions). For gods sake elementary school kids are held to a higher standard.
And I am by no means meaning this hasn't been an issue before Trump, but under his Regime it has become the norm to shamelessly lie and dodge any responsibility. The damage this is doing to public discourse and the office is worse than most legislation he could try to pass.
Well shit lol... Not being able to remember stuff is pretty much what stupidity is.
Why argue against hillary or trump being derided? Its clear that both were abysmal candidates that made a mockery of the intricate inner workings of the constitution, lets not choose the lesser of two evils, lets reject them both please.
You sure you aren't referring to Hilary Clinton?
Question: "when's the last time you spoke with your father and he told you that he loved you"
Don Jr: "I can't remember, but definitely not when I spoke with him right after talking with the Russians"
*Guilty as sin.*
It feels weird wishing ill upon our leader. But then I remember who it is and what's he's said and done.
Ma Ni
czcams.com/video/GkgIgUxSrPU/video.html
Mark N.
Please tell us how the surprise Secret Service visit went! 😂🤣🤣
Kidding, but still agree with you. He's dangerous and does need to be removed from office.
Sadly, couldn't agree more
And if the other candidate had won, we'd be in even worse shit...and people like Colbert would be covering it up instead of exposing it. I love the smell of Hypocrisy in the morning.
@@Keihryon What exactly makes you think Colbert would be covering it up?
It's just pretty funny how people like you assume just because others don't like Trump, that all of us blindly follow Hillary
I legitimately couldn't get through this without Stephen Colbert
THANK YOU WHOEVER POSTED THE WHOLE MONOLOGUE AS ONE VIDEO
DT Jr. First meeting. "I don't recall."
Second meeting. "I didn't know what is was about and I was SWEATY FROM THE GYM."
Is that what they call "selective memory loss?"
Seriously. How do you not recall so much anout a meeting you put effort into setting up and attended, but remember the reasons you didn't attend some other meeting.
Maxmartin selective memory-shitness: Half selective memory and half bullshit🤓😅
saluk Depends how many meetings you have. I was always a fan of distributing copies of the agenda before the meeting and having a secretary take notes. Same for giving classroom instruction or training.
I assume by "you faggots", you mean the lying Republicans. In which case, you're right: the Russia investigation is going to cripple them in 2018, and sink Trump if he actually decides to run again in 2020 (or is even in a position to run…).
Rake Steele
Did you just wake up from a coma. The Russia connection is a given. The Trumpanzees have been coming up with multiple explanations of why they've been dealing with the Reds for a few months now. Time to get up to speed.
"Worst case scenario Simon Cowell" 👌👌👌😂😂
With ALL honesty, I never thought I would live to see this.
...”has many people inside of him.”
Literally choked on my soup, laughing.
:-)
Gangsters in charge of the country
Great genes at work right here, folks!
Consuming too much Keebler Elf cookie, DJR?
I just love the way Stephen says her name, "Natalia Veselnitskaya."
That face though..when he says Natalia...... ;D))
Oh, please , pleeeeaase! Please keep Giuliani on and continue to let him speak with cameras rolling and audio on.
Maybe if we waterboard Don Jr. ... just a thought.
russell campbell good point, waterboard all of them, start at the top......
Depends on what kind of ‘water’ you plan to use.
russell campbell I agree with Janice K. WATERBOARD ALL OF THEM STARTING AT THE TOP or as dRUMP said I'D DO MORE THAN WATER BOARD. DON SR. QUOTE.
On the one hand, I believe that using waterboarding to gather reliable information is ineffective, not to mention unethical and immoral.
On the other hand, the current Administration seems to have no qualms with it... :p
James Smith maybe add some LSD to the water...it might make Trump more coherent.
#StupidWatergate
Drace90 #ReallyStupidWatergate
Love how they play Thelonious Monk's "Evidence" after the joke at 8:50.
Colbert running across the screen always makes me laugh
HEY! It's one big video! Thanks, editor :>
Is it Mueller time yet?
Sondra Zimmerly Mueller is the biggest criminal out there, fuk that deepstate piece of shit
jereme Erxleben trumptard alert
Jereme, what a sad lil fool you are. SAD!
William Jackson you all are sad watching this bull shit
taking the jeff sessions approach to guilt eh? well it seemed to work for him, so why not i suppose.
outseeker if I'm ever in a courtroom, I'm going to try this approach.
Ronald Reagan said "I don't recall" or "I can't remember" 88 times during 8 hours of deposition on the Iran-contra affair. Rear Admiral Poindexter said the same thing 184 times over 5 days of questioning on the same matter. Ah, tradition.
+ CSharp - Excellent point. Well, there you go again. The wheel turns, but it makes my head spin.
CSharp: The nostalgia is overwhelming...
Alley Cat Gillis Don't forget the depositions before you even get to court. Very important.
That joke about the nesting dolls had me rolling.
Ilove the piano piece at the end its so melencholy and beautiful
Don Jr.: I cannot recall so much, that I can tell you exactly what I don't recall.
Trump: Don... don't, Don, no...
He has leaked info which has made things worse...
Colbert is brilliant.
Hilarious, brilliant and savage! Colbert and his writers are awesome 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
That Don Jr. impression is golden. "DAMMIT. I forgot the garlic knots..."
Stephen, I love you, but I and all the other Russian speakers watching are collectively screaming at our screens right now: it's pronounced, in its simplest and most anglicized form, "MAH-TREE-YOH-SHKA" not "muh-trew-ska". I'm crying over here, darling.
These presidential impressions are outstanding
Great monologue!
This is going to be a classic monologue
You outdid yourself!! Best monologue So farr 👏 hilarious
The word IS NOT collusion. The Word IS CONSPIRACY!!! USE IT.
Right. Collusion is not a crime. Conspiracy against the US is a serious crime. Conspiracy to undermine an election as well.
I agree. It's actually treason. He's working with foreign powers to undermind the country. And trump and his supporters brag about being patriotic. Stunningly stupid amount of non-self-reflection.
Toilet Burgers: The full-circle experience
i’d say that there’s a pretty good chance that the man has sat on the pot eating his cheeseburger before
i just don’t want the visual
Full circle more like a split moon 🌙
Too grownup for Trump. This is more his speed: dolphinsilverwolf.deviantart.com/art/This-is-what-we-voted-for-Trump-Parody-622984317
Stephen's on fire today..
There's an epidemic of selective memory going on...
I always love when ‘Natalya Veselnitskya’ (dun dun!) gets a mention!
Thank you for putting the whole monologue up in one vid!!
It's time to end the investigation- and start prosecuting!
By now, and as a German happily watching this disaster from the sidelines I must say I find myself enjoying this more and more. It's like witnessing something unique, like those 2012 apocalypse parties where everyone had a perfect excuse to do the dumbest shit ever and laugh about it should we all survive.
Taking lessons from ole Long John Dickweed Aka Jeff Sessions
this is the good stuff, when stephen doesn't hold back its just savage
The writing on this show is so good!!!
😂 😂 Colbert you’re a maniac 😂
"I DO NOT RECALL" is the same as PLEADING THE FIFTH, what it really means is "I'm not going to tell you because it will incriminate me" DO WE NEED ANY MORE PROOF OF COLLUSION BETWEEN TRUMP AND RUSSIA!!!
Mike OBrien I believe it is not evidence in and of itself to prove guilt.
George B. Wolffsohn; The question is IF THERE IS NOTHING TO HIDE WHY LIE OR CONVENIENTLY FORGET??? Just the FACT that they LIE and have MENTAL LAPSES when asked questions is an admission of guilt. I never heard a INNOCENT PERSON LIE FOR A ALIBI OR FORGET THINGS THAT PROVE THEM INNOCENT, that makes no sense at all!!
Trump even said pleading the fifth meant you're guilty.
Priscilla Jimenez, You are RIGHT, TRUMP ALSO SAID that "ONLY THE MOB" plead the 5th!!!
Classic logical ambiguity. "If there had been collusion, they would have used it" -- can be interpreted to mean "the fact they didn't use it means they didn't intend to collude" (how Giuliani meant it) or "if they'd had a chance to collude, they would have used it" -- how Stephen meant it. Fun stuff.
yeah, i'm going to try that next time! "i tried to buy drugs, but they didn't have any, oh well, can i keep on trying to buy drugs again then?" line of defense...
Sounds like you are well versed in syllogisms my friend
so according to YOU, attempting a crime, attempting to meet AND meeting with our adversaries is not a crime, illegal or collusion or treason? never mind, we are ALL suppose to believe THEM, that they didn't take the info or used it? are we all suppose to believe too that it's the world's biggest coincidence that nearly every single person in trump's orbit just happened to meet with our adversary russia? and forgot about it, can't remember, lie about what the circumstances were and change their stories as well?!..
no, they didn't like or get the info they received according to you and them, and didn't use it (and we know they didn't use it because that is what they said? never mind, the changing stories of what the meetings were about, the amnesia about the meeting itself, the lying on their forms and so on, and we are ALL suppose to believe anything they say? really?) how about addressing the fact that THEY MET WITH THESE PEOPLE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!!!!! AND DIDN'T RUN LITERALLY RUN BEFOREHAND TO TELL THE PROPER AUTHORITIES! (like everyone else would obviously INHERENTLY know to do!) but according to you, that means nothing, the fact that they didn't use the info (according to them that is) means nothing???? whew! who knew! when you attempt a crime/illegal activity as long as you don't actually go thru with it then it's all good! so in your mind attempted rape, attempted robbery, attempted murder, planned "whatever" means nothing and it's all legal and ethical! uh huh!...
EXACTLY! WHEN HAS HE (trump) EVER EVER EVER ACTED REMOTELY LIKE SOMEONE INNOCENT AND WITH NOTHING TO HIDE?!.. WHAT'S the last defense "oh, but they weren't politicians and so they didn't know any better, it's not their fault! the dog ate the homework"!!!!!!!!!????? when has he ever said "i have nothing to hide, i and no one around me did anything illegal or unethical, investigate me all you want, and so on?" NEVER!.. HE REEKS OF GUILT AND/OR IS LITERALLY TERRIFIED IN REGARDS TO HIS ACTUAL LIFE SOMETHING/SOMETHINGS BEING REVEALED TO THE WORLD!...
We, the people, also have a plan. It's an oldie, but a goodie - we're going to vote! Knew that would scare them. Great monologue, Stephen.
The single greatest show on TV.
To be fair, trust fund kiddies don't have to remember stuff. They have people to do it for them.
Jr. is an even worse liar than Snr.
Donald Jr.: "I do not recall" my daddy treated me like my sister Ivanka.
He fucked him too?
I want to see Chelsea beat the crap out of Ivanka (God, to think they're still friends).
That's pretty fucked up to joke about...
So Trump wants to fuck him to?
Paul Ramos OK, I hate you but I appreciate the quality of the joke. Even though it's bullsit. What's really funny is the first idiot to reply actually believed you. God, scrolling down just makes me lose faith in humanity on this site. There's more idiots. Holy shit. It's time for the purge. Unleash the Right Wing Death Squads!
Colbert killed me on this one!! I'm dead, good-byeeee cruel world! lmao
The Stephen Cbert fix. So gooooood.