Forgetting Fatherhood: Childless men | Full Episode | SBS Insight
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- čas přidán 4. 04. 2022
- A surge of young Aussie men are deciding to remain childless, with some getting vasectomies while still in their 20s. Many are passionately driven by ethical, financial and emotional factors, but will they regret their decision later in life? And what do involuntarily childless men think about this trend?
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People who don't want children should not have them.
Thank you !
Especially in today’s polarizing world we’re living in, I don’t want to subject a child to the dying world we’re in
obviously
and they should be able to comfortably make that decision without being ostracized or picked apart.
Well duh they don't want them
@@phillyfan-182 people were saying that 50 years ago...no excuses or reasons are necessary!
I knew by 17 kids weren't for me. Snipped at 22, now 61 and sooo worth it!
I am a woman and I don't want to have a child 😐 I just don't 😑
Me too and I'm now in my 40s and I've no regrets. 🤭
Don't! I didn't and so happy with my choice now looking at the entirety of planet earth! It's not going to get better.
Mimi biz, I too am in my 40's and very happy I chose not to have kids. People told me Id regret it but I only find more reasons not to have them.
Since I was 10 I knew I never wanted to be a mother, the thought of being pregnant makes me wanna 🤢🤮!
I'm 42 now with know regrets, there's more to life than having kids!
Always with the stories about “regret” but no one seems to want to acknowledge much less discuss the many thousands of people who regret having children.
People that are not psychologically, mentally, emotionally, & FINANCIALLY ready to create another human being are only creating more problems in the world. Those that lack resources need not have children. It is nice to see people approaching this topic from a sober, realistic, & practical perspective.
I'm oldest of 4 boys. Two cousins followed right after baby brother. Guess who the built-in babysitter was? By the time I was 15 I had cleaned and wiped everything I ever thought I would clean and wipe. My paternal synapses sputtered out, never to reignite. I had no relationship with bio dad, and a bad relationship with stepdad. I had two near misses when I was 22 and had huge panic attacks. The thought of fatherhood was nauseatingly horrifying. Got snipped as soon as I could. Have never regretted it 22 years later. Was a huge relief to have that possibility off the table for all time.
Every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child. It is very responsible to not have kids if you don't want them or can't be there for them. Hats off to those that are honest with themselves.
Interesting that the guy wanted kids to relive fun around the dinner table, yet characterized men who don't want to have kids as living a Peter Pan lifestyle? Isn't he the one who wants to relive his childhood through his future kids?
Nobody ever said breeders were logical.
I feel for the gentleman who related how parents, at the park, ushered the children away from him because he was there with none of his own and seemed "suspicious". I'm a woman who chose to not have children. Now that I'm in my mid-50s, I've had similar things happen---when I engage children (and their parents) in conversation as they walk by my garden and ask me "what is that bee hotel" or "how do you make the water disappear under your fountain"...the adults get a very concerned look when they realize I was never a mother. I wonder if they see my colorful house and the whimsical garden and think I'm trying to attract kids, like the witch in Hansel and Gretel. I have never regretted my decision to remain childfree, but it's sad to see others consider me "weird" for my choices.
I relate to your situation. I'm in my 40s now and have no regrets of being childfree. But everybody feels sorry for me like I'm mentally ill. They have no idea that I feel the same about them 😂
I hope there's more spaces for child-free people, like parks just for us, even amusement parks XD
@@Ronsquaremy would you support a park just for people with children??
You're not excluded from those parks, so why would you want a park that excludes them??.
I'm 64 and I have no regrets. Not one. I've had people tell me things like I'm going to be lonely and shit like that. I just say when I was your age I wore bikini swim suits and got up and traveled where and when I wanted to. And had no worries what so ever... I think the thing that takes away most women's freedom is that worry about their kids. And that particular worry is large and makes a lot of woman fat because of the cortisol that is released during times of worry. Now here I am old enough to be a grandma but I'm doing as I please with no wrinkle causing fat producing worry. Child free is worry free.
The men should not be judged for getting vasectomy as well as women for abortion .
No. A vasectomy prevents pregnancy, an abortion fatally end the life of an unborn child.
Just because you have children doesn't mean they are going to take care of you in your old age...nor should that be a requirement for someone because you brought them into the world. If a tree grows old, becomes diseased and dies, it's not the responsibility of the leaves to take care of it.
I felt at 8 years old that I didn't want to be able to make babies. I asked for a vasectomy with several doctors for years only 5G told NO! I finally got the right doctor,, easiest, quickest, (6 minutes) most painless surgery ever (no. Needle, no scalpel, open ended procedure)
Matthews gf was lying about adoption. She “changed” her mind. When he starts to suffer emotionally from reversing his vasectomy or cheats on her, doesn’t spend time with the family, she will wonder why. They will eventually divorce him. When people tell you who they are, BELIEVE THEM. 💯
I love how this is being talked about cause I feel as a childless women and men are criticized and judged for their choice and it's rude and disrespectful and ridiculous how people such as myself have to put up with such foolery
Im a young mum of two and love my kids. Really don’t get the big deal about people not wanting children. It is a personal choice. If people don’t want them, that is obviously their own choice. It really should not concern anybody besides the person themselves whether they want to be a parent or not. So weird that people would get upset if somebody else doesn’t want them, lol.
Great talk. Go childfree!
In my country doctors are reluctant to perform vasectomies to unmarried childless men, so that essentially you have had kids before you can even be considered eligible.
Weird that they make you take a psychological test when having snipped.
The decision to not have a child is actually a well-thought off decision, not unlike how most humans were made.
I think that with the situation that we have right now, we should not be asking why you dont want to have kids.
It should be, with the current socio, economic and ecological situation right now, WHY DO YOU WANT TO HAVE KIDS?
It's actually the opposite, we live in the best time in human history, chances are a child raised in the developed world will mean they are healthier, happier, safer, cleaner, better educated and have more entertainment than at any point in human history without exception. It's mostly people that HAVEN'T thought it through properly that decide not to have children.
Growing up I never wanted to have kids. Post-menopause I still don't want kids. I do think that before marrying, as I did, not only does money need to be a #1 topic of discussion, but children needs to be in there, too. Because if you know you are not parenting material, don't have kids. As for the reason most people have kids, usually it is to find out if they are going to be good parents or not.
Agree
Exactly.
In the US there is a short consultation. Mostly they check to see if your girlfriend is aware and your reasons why. I would say men who are usually on the far left often fall into making life decisions based on political beliefs rather than their own happiness. Wait until you are in a happy relationship would be my advice.
Personally, I don't want to take on the responsibility of caring for and raising a child, but if I ever change my mind, I could adopt one. There are many children in the world in need of parents. I don't get why so many people wanting children are so opposed to adoption. If you can't love any child, how would you know you'd love your own? It's not like you're guaranteed a perfect or even a healthy child just because he or she carries your genes. I wish people who aren't actively wanting to be parents, were more proactive, using protection etc, so that every child grew up in a family that were ready for them. Shaming people into having kids is just wrong, and is literally affecting lives. Quality of life is much more important than the quantity. Let people decide for themselves what they want their lives to consist of.
I'm surprised that freezing their sperm was not brought up as an option for the men who wanted a vasectomy at an early age. It's relatively cheap and a viably option yet it seems it was not considered at all. Why??
why raise kids? a lot of kids are horrible! dogs and cats are way better...
Are you always nice and pleasant?
And everybody wants their kids to be Nobel laureates, when they just might as well turn out to be, well, just not that.
Is something to happen to you, who will be taking care of your dogs and cats? What is your plan for them?
Hi. Wonderful topic, I've never seen a show tackle this subject.
Please allow captions for upcoming episodes. Thank you for your consideration.
There should also be a male contraceptive pill available soon 🙂
all of these people in this video are so wonderful and sweet
Yes, there are ppl who are responsible enough not to bring children into this cruel world that they don't want. We need those ppl too.
Its so telling how badly ppl want to talk about Meghan and Prince Harry, continually bringing them up out of no where lol this wasn't even about them. Lots of old white men seem obsessed with them enough to just randomly mention them like Piers Morgan always does and its strange.
I matured later in life and would like them now. Somehow I have more energy now in my late 40s then in my 20s. But its too late. I would like WEALTH, then children.
Well, vasectomies can successfully be reversed should they change their mind
I think he should have waited till he is older.
First guy i couldve written the script with then getting older n falling in love n wanting to have kids. Exactly the reason 99% drs wouldnt do it!
It is your duty as a child to look after your parents when they are older these people are saying it's an expectation it's an honor. My parents gave me the best life possible and I love them so much. They have told me and my brother that when they get too old they do not want us to take care of them because they do not want to be a burden and they want us to put them in a retirement home. Me and my brother both shouted them down saying that will never happen. My grandfather lived with us growing up and it was great to have my grandfather around. It was difficult on my mom however my grandfather and my mother's relationship is a lot different than my relationship with my father. I love that both me and my brother are on the same page and would never abandon our parents to these retirement homes where they get treated like crap. Trust me I have seen it firsthand and it is terrible how the elderly are treated at these facilities. I want my children to see that it is important to take care of your elders. As part of my morals and values this is something I am incredibly firm on. My parents have taken care of me and my brother up until our 30s pretty much. I live in my own apartment with my fiance which we pay for however my mom had to co-sign and when we both got covid and couldn't work and the government had stopped giving out money for people who couldn't go to work because they got covid my parents helped us pay for the rent that month. I don't know what I would do without them and when they get older they will not have to worry one bit about their care. They will be in a wonderful home surrounded by their family their grandchildren and love. I do not at all see it as an obligation and I think it is shameful to see it as such. However I could see circumstances where if you had an abusive parent or something like that you wouldn't want to take care of them and I totally understand that. However for all those people out there whose parents worked so hard to give them a wonderful upbringing you better look after your parents when they are not capable of doing it themselves. They took care of you when you were a child it is disgraceful if you cannot return the love.
What's the big deal, it can be reversed!
5:20 just gave me a nice insight. We sent production lines overseas for things that are inconvenient / more costly to produce at home. Maybe we should do the same with human reproduction. Help them lowering mortality rates and educate their new generations better (including fluency level on languages needed in developed countries) and give them a path to immigration if they want to move here when they're already productive according to quotas we adjust depending on current demand. Block the rest, of course, so we can be "great again" 😁
It's also true that women sitting on a park bench watching children/the world go by are considered a threat. It's not just a man thing, the reality is they are a threat, don't sit at the park if you don't want to be judged, parents are right to be wary.
I think it's ironic the man who would donate money to save 100 lives instead of investing in giving birth to 1 life and talking about the environment and population. Surely 1 life would be better than 100 lives for the environment?? Delusional. There are kids to foster.
Surrogacy is illegal for good reason, it is human trafficking of the woman and the child, the child has no say in it, it's appalling.
Some people just do not want to breed and be parents. Deal with it. Believe me, when I do go to the park I stay far away from the breeders and their crotch goblins. I am too busy meditating, praying, and thanking God for not making me a mother. 😂
Nope! Everyone deserves to enjoy the park! I enjoy people watching and will look wherever I please!
Frail, old, no kids. That's tough
Frail, old, has 4 kids who could care less because they are off and busy living their own life. Welcome to reality.
Frail, old and your kids not wanting to look after you because it is not their actual job to...Even more tough...
While most people get old, not everyone becomes frail. Children aren't a retirement plan.
No its not
That’s not a reason why not to have kids. Yes financial you will hurt until they get a job. My son works and help take care of us even we don’t ask him to. My daughter loves to take care of people and love to have 3 kids like us. They are wonderful. When you have your own, it’s different then having to take care of other people kids. I had a receptionist said the same thing that her and her husband didn’t want any kids. When her husband past away, she is now in depression and don’t have someone to love anymore or to take care of.
Wow. What disgusting and selfish reasons to have kids.
That is why 18 is too young to make that decision
Agreed. I didn't want to have children due to different childhood traumas. I am thankful for my child who I promised to take care off, no matter what. Best decision ever.
Ummm no
My body my choice
Not really, people decide what to study at uni around that age etc.
No it's not. My husband decided at 18 he didn't want kids. At 34 he still doesn't want kids. He has the exact same opinion that he had at 18 that he does now. 18 is not too young to be making such a decision. It entirely depends on the individual
21 is too young to make that decision. Too immature in the mind
Vasectomy should be to 35 of Age and up never for the 20s their too young their will change their mind later in life
I decided I did not want to have a child because I was selfish, and too messed up, and knew l would not make a good mother. I had to fix myself up first. It took me years. First an attempt at some therapy, a fortune on self help books, New Age therapies, Bhuddism, and then finally at 55 Jesus Christ literally found me, and everything changed. Not religiousity and it's legalistic mindset. Jesus, and through Him, naturally God. Finally the healing process is real, and the results speak for themselves. All the people I know can visibly see the changes, and know it's real. Now l am 60, still with the man l met 24 years ago, and feeling an inner peace, energy, and joy l never felt before. I no longer feel like a shapeless amoeba endlessly trying to reshape myself for the approval, and admiration of others. My need to self medicate through alcohol has gone. It's just not there. I feel alive and deeply connected to my inner self, through the never ending guidance of The Holy Spirit. My relationship with The Holy Trinity is intimate and growing in strength. Such love and grace. It's supernatural, yet so very real. Thoughts of adopting a child at 3rd up to 7th grade level have started to suddenly enter my mind, and I can feel the heart pull, whenever the thought enters my mind. I am waiting on The Lord. 😊 .
Good on you. I so admire people who understand that there are already children here who need love and good homes instead of making new human beings. God bless you!!!