We don't know that.. how she developed the feelings? 👀 besides even flirting and allowing certain kinds of hugs, touches, or entertain certain talks can be considered cheating
@@maddieb.4282 you relativistic one... look at someone and think that the person is attractive is one thing... flirt and etc (being in a relationship) to me it's unacceptable
@@totally...124you don't have to have touches and flirting to develop feelings. Most true feelings I know are developed when a person falls in love with another in their most normal form when the certain person is not even trying to do anything. May be being in a relationship with someone else made her feel how different she felt with her bestfriend without being romantic. Millions of people have millions of reasons to fall in love. Unless we don't we can't claim something.
@@lalopuza except those crazy people that "fall in love" with celebrities/strangers, nobody "develops feelings" without open itself to IMPROPER interactions with another person, people just like to normalize and romanticize... cheating, changing partners like it's nothing, disrespect agreements (relationships), irresponsibility fulfilling social roles etc... awesome society😌
She was being unfaithful, she owned up to it yes but you just don’t have male best friends when in a relationship. Look where it ended. It always ends like this and it was 1000% her fault. Maybe 999 because the dude shouldn’t let her have male best friends in the first place. She’s gonna continue doing this mark my words on that
not a lack of commitment its a lack of patience. she got feelings for the first person and was too quick to make a decision with them before fully knowing them. the lesson is to not rush into a relationship because of how you feel at the moment but to grow with that person over time before making a firm decision, then if it works it works and if it doesnt it doesnt.
rofl what? She basically told her boyfriend she was going to cuck him then did and we're congratulating her for name blaming him? Here's some life advice for you that you will never follow, but would actually help you. A woman like this that babbles incessantly about how healthy, open, and modern her relationship is will never be loyal to you.
False, she shows a very immature response. Condemning people and thinking you are above them, wiser and more mature, and therefore you will handle things better than anybody else is a typical stance of an adolescent. Since they have no experience, they are all intentions, but zero shortcomings. It is easier from that point of view to establish a moralistic view of the world. Women do this all the time. Since they don't dare to decide about their feelings, they create a situation where the man has to do it. Some women will even cheat to provoke the end of a relationship. This is clearly a way to enable them to assume a victim position. In this case, she was just being mature, it was the other guy who had to decide to accept that situation or to end it on the spot. This is absurd. Opposite-sex best-friend relationships are hard to handle. They are people who spend a lot of time with your partner and they usually know each other better than you know your partner.Friend assumes that there is no sexual tension in the relationship. When you say that there is, the thing is over. Confessing that is like torpedoing the relationship. It is like saying to your wife: hey, do you Janet, that coworker with whom I have spent a lot of those late hours working on the new project and we have her for dinner a couple of times, so .. I'm "developing" feeling towards her. Come on! It is over. Besides, cheating is never to blame on the partner. Hollywood pushed that cultural notion that if the man cheats, he is just a piece of crap, but if a woman does it, the partner is the one to blame because he starved her emotionally. This is ridiculous.
Nah thats just immature if ur relationship goes by feelings and a bigger red flag falling in love with ur best friend. Tf? That is absolutely unacceptable
you can’t really control your feelings though… one time I told my fiancé that I had feelings for a coworker… I told him that I still wanted to marry him and I still choose him, but I wanted to be honest. We believe in Jesus & the power of prayer, so we prayed about it. Now, I don’t have feelings for that coworker and we have been married for 6 months :)
@@celinho68just because they happen doesn't mean you have no control. You can control them by steering the direction. If you realize you start to feel something, you can choose to minimize the time you spend around said person. That's control.
Honestly Its better the girl says the truth about this to her ex boyfriend then cheating. Anyone would agree she handled it maturely, when it could’ve gone way worse if she cheated on him.
She cheated already though, emotionally. She realized she had feelings for her best friend and kept hanging out with him till she couldn't handle it no more. She was in complete control. She chose this but I will commend her for telling her ex though.
The issue is that ppl call it mature when the whole thing is immature. Ppl should just stick to saying it’s good she was honest and moved on rather than saying she’s mature when it’s clearly a lack of it.
Her honesty is commendable. That said, don't take the sentence "you can't help a feeling" too seriously. It's an infantile approach to life. If you value your relationship more than this initial crush-emotions, you need to distance yourself from the person you're crushing on. If you don't, you need to break up.
I had a similar situation. But i suppressed those feelings by ignoring my friend and removing her from my life entirely. I had to choose between my stable and wonderful relationship and a new friend. I chose my current partner. It took a year to get rid of all those feelings. But I know it was the best decision i made in my life. It's been 12 years since then and i do not regret anything.
Exactly, even a married person can develop feelings for others, the thing is to delete others and work and improve your relationship with your partner, good for you🎉
This is such a mature and right thing to do. How do older generations had stability ? It's cuz they wouldn't entertain their little feelings. They remained in that relationship through thick and thin. Reality is we always meet people with a certain degree of attraction factor but it's something normal. The key is this if you are single you can take your time and enjoy that moment given that the other person is single too. You wouldn't wanna be tht guy or girl who is that person who took away other person's partner thts just a shit thing to do. Be smart. Other key is if you are in a relationship then you better buckle up and stay grounded. Feelings come and feelings go. The key is loyalty. Therefore before you enter a relationship give it a long hard thought and take your time and manage expectations.
There is this thing I heard from someone 'You can actually decide before you finally submit to the fall' Its normal to appreciate other people's beauty and attractiveness but if you allow room or chances for possibilities to grow feelings that's where it can go wrong. Salute man.
So true, ur decision is so mature and wise. Hope u will always have supportive people around u. Tbh, it's rare to find someone having a mindset like u. Most people just care about their own feeling now days, they hide behind 'u should respect ur own feeling', but they forget to respect their spouses feeling. As a couple, we should adapt each other. Sometimes, we should make changes to our things. Some changes in us didn't mean we're in a toxic relationship. It's all about respect, keep learning, and keep adapting.
Why, because she handled a break up responsibly and treated her partner with respect? I’d like to see you and I in forty years. Our arms locked and faces smiling for our wedding photo, Philip
As much as it sucks to hear those words from your girlfriend, I’d feel relieved compared to being cheated on. One is straight up truth and honesty, the other is being betrayed and backstabbed.
Dude dodged a bullet tbh. If she's the kind of woman to leave her healthy relationship because she felt the butterflies for someone else it means she didn't love him, she just loved the fact she felt the butterflies when she was around him. And she'll likely leave that partner too once the magic of it is all gone. Some people gotta realize love isn't just a feeling, it's part of it sure but it's a dedication to committing your life with someone else to build a future together. That commitment goes two ways and she broke hers because she wasn't committed to the person but committed to the feeling that person gave, once that was gone she left.
@@Honto-cv9wb I've had one for the past 15 years. Also how is it dumb for writing an essay? I wrote it cuz I'm passionate about the topic and have seen this kind of behaviour in people before. Also "possibly" is spelled with an i you dumbfuck. :)
Thats why its so important to realise that love is a decision, not a feeling or emotion. Its a decision to stay with your partner and not go running after every person who trigger some feelings.
Love is indeed a very deep emotion and feeling,yes you can stay with someone even without loving them but there is no point and even they deserve someone who loves them
@@elyz98 If any part of it is irrational that’s due to the chemicals and what stage you’re in. It’s always the same and that’s why it’s an action not a feeling. It’s a shame more people don’t educate themselves on the phases of how that all works because it matches up with how long people tend to stay together nowadays, since they seem to believe love is a feeling. 3-5 years, it’s almost always the same story.
Literally I was thinking the same thing and saying no way because how like deadass I thought I would never even see a irl mizu but the algorithms have proved me wrong again
Life happens, feelings change. Adding jealousy to the mix will only make things harder. Anyone can develop feelings for someone at any time, so your take is pretty off-base. Did you even listen when she said, "Life is a lot messier than we think." ?
Nothing wrong with developing feelings while dating. Have you made complete commitment yet? No then why would it be, it wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary. What's wrong is if you start an affair with someone before quitting the first relationship. Edit: It's unfortunate but you're not wrong for having feelings. It can become wrong tho depending on how you handle it. For example now if someone has a family involving 3rd person, that scenario is different and should be handled better. But if not then it's not a crime to leave and then go after the new. But if you think you don't want these feelings or don't want to leave the one you are with currently, then try everything to stay away from the second person even if it's till you get hold of your feelings. Majority of people make it wrong by trying to start something new while also staying at the previous one BECAUSE they don't want to risk. That's why it's tricky.
Feelings are honestly a choice… You choose to immerse yourself in them and not consider your partner in any of it. I have met many people over the years who I could be interested in right off the bat HOWEVER even while single, I still never THREW myself into those feelings. Why? Because you don’t really know that person. She says she started developing feelings for her “best friend” but how long were they really friends? Was that person actually more of her best friend than her partner? My fiancé is my best friend to start with… He is my biggest supporter therefore the best friend you could have and then I have a couple close friends that fall after him. Everything is a choice. People fail in relationships when they act like everything is just beyond their control. It’s not!
I'm so glad to know that there are many smart people who know everything about everything in youtube. The future for this species is really bright you guys.
@@vmat6684 so I can cheat as long as I be honest? You simp are out of your brain. Or just normalised cheating, then stop crying when men do the same ok?
We all have that little voice inside secretly judging others when they mess up, until we mess up ourselves. This lady is taking accountability, realizing that feelings sometimes mislead us, she's being honest with herself and others about this messed up situation, props to her ✨ we learn from our mistakes and become wiser when we take the time to reflect on them mistakes and understand our flaws. I wish her the best, she's only human and no human is perfect.
Stop simping , the boyfriend knew that shit wasn’t good , he knew about the best friend , in what world are you living? She was lying about it , “ it’s just a friend “ how many times do you think she lied to him ? If you can’t understand that, you’re not a man , or you’re one in potential danger because you can’t see bullshit
@@sekaiomiruhitokaminoyume5426 I'm a straight woman °_° and even if I was a man, that still wouldn't be simping. God chill out dude, you need happiness, I mean it, get off the internet and be happy.
@@sekaiomiruhitokaminoyume5426 I wish you love Buddy. Do not let the injuries inflicted on you Make you bleed on people who did nothing to you. And do not absorb the injustices of this world too much otherwise you'll lose your inner peace. We have limited time to live, we cannot change the world, we cannot change humanity, but we can choose how we react to existence. Take care of yourself and nourish your happiness, resentment is no way to live in peace. Sending you hugs Buddy. I mean them, God bless ✨
@@Burnt.Ice.Cream.You should understand that if your assumption about that person is true, then those words that you have written will feel Condencending and Demasculanizing for him. It is not gonna help anyone. Either you do understand this then you are a narcissist who likes patronizing other people or you are not aware of that, then you shouldnt attempt to help someone because no help is better than wrong help
Chasing feelings will only run you in circles, if you chase something that’s fleeing, you’ll live your life on the run, in a circle of emotions, only trying to chase and feel happiness. This leads to a life where you run from people and relationships chasing the things that make you feel good, leaving you with no one around when your time comes. Reality is life has its highs a lows, you need to ride out the storm to come out the other side, because you’ll never get through the storm, chasing the sun.
That depends on the kind of highs and lows you go through, and if you honestly think the end goal you can reach with your current partner is better than what you could with someone else. Or even alone. Relationships aren't worth saving just because they exist, they need to be what's best for yoir life.
@@leonardomarquesbellini right, I’m not saying stay in something abusive, what I’m saying is every relationship has its highs and lows, some days you’ll feel like you can’t live without them, some days you don’t even wanna see their face. What I’m saying is if something, exciting and new comes along, people aren’t like iPhones, there isn’t a new one around every corner, at some point, you will run out of options, and you will have burned every bridge down, and have no one to turn too when your old. Life isn’t a fairy tale, you won’t love someone 100% all the time, what my comment pertains too is that love is NOT measured in feelings, of which she blatantly says “I caught feelings for someone else” love is measured in time you are willing to spend on a relationship and in the amount of BS someone is willing to put up with for you, and vis versa. Truth is we are all human, non of us are perfect, we all have flaws, and the real relationships that stand the test of time, are the ones that ride out the storms and not leave because they feel any specific way in any given moment. Like I said, feeling are fleeting, they come and go, you can’t base your life on feelings, people who do that, never end up in a good place. Examples could range from the act of genocides like in WW2, all the way to drug addictions. Feelings shouldn’t dictate your life, you should, or to put it metaphorically don't let feelings, cloud your judgment.
When something like that happens, two options: - shut up and put distance between you and the friend - break up Telling your partner is just something you do to feel good about yourself. It's not for the sake of the partner. It's not for the sake of the relationship.
Not really. Some people feel it is tye right of their current partner to be aware of what is happening. That shows strong and righteous character in my opinion.
@@cristinaratiu4535 did you notice how you framed it as something that will only help yourself feel better? Not your partner. Not the relationship. Just you.
@@parametr I disagree, maybe the partner is okay with a poly relationship, maybe they would even want it? Maybe they would want a reason why someone is suddenly growing distant or breaking up. Or maybe simply being honest about it and hoping you can work through the situation with the partner for the relationship instead of breaking up is the move. You don't know. And when you don't know the respectful thing to do is be honest, tell your partner and let them make choices for their own life. This is called trust and respect. While someone can single headedly just call off whatever relationship they have without any explanation, that's a pretty big red flag that they never considered the other person as part of the relationship in the first place. No one owes anyone explanations but you're not the only one in the relationship that's breaking either. Whenever anyone basically unilaterally makes decisions about the relationship AND assuming they already know exactly what their partner *MIGHT* think of the situation, that's never for the sake of the partner or the relationship either. Sure maybe the partner decides the relationship is over, maybe they don't even know how to handle it, maybe they're happy to hear it and can't wait to see what their friend says about dating both of you and yes some times maybe the partner would have been happier never knowing, regardless I think if you love and respect someone letting them know the truth about the situation and trusting they can handle their own life is for the best, for the partner and for the relationship (even if it's breaking).
@@entecor3892 I see. You should tell your partner, because "maybe the partner is okay with a poly relationship". So... again because maybe it can work to your benefit. Great. Note: check the stats on poly relationships... the vast majority go bad, real bad. Very very difficult for those to work.
omg something extremely similar happened to me but i was on the other side of it, my ldr partner started crushing on someone from their school and we openly communicated about it, although it was really hard and heartbreaking for both of us im glad that we were always honest with eachother, you are not a bad person for developing feelings for someone but how you handle the situation really matters
Exactly what she said about becoming the bad person you didn't want to become. It just happens, that's JUST LIFE in many circumstances. There is no escaping it unless you are ignoring it AKA being ignorant. Best way to handle it? Learn, grow, understand and find peaceful solutions. This goes for anything, when someone becomes bad in any way. And don't shame to just shame, because that will just push that person to embrace their darkness.
U wouldn't know darkness if it stared u in the face. It's all "mature" & "modern" & "handling it" till u cross the wrong guy. Sum1 to whom ur life means nothing once u betray them. Wut u gonna do then? Huh? Talk to them... maturely? Good fucking luck
@@vikix981 This. People oftentimes feel like if they have to “not put themselves in certain situations”, then it’s control. I think people should decide if they care more about the chance to fuck up, or choosing discipline.
She has control of it still. Anyone can fall for anyone even if ur in a good relationship if u open urself to others that's why there are boundaries u place not just on others but for urself. And that's why u cant have a male BEST friend.
Do you really like that person if you need to set boundaries with others? Genuinely asking , cause some people call that cheating already Even before you set boundaries, the moment the thoughts enter your mind
@@minseoksblacknailpolishinw5677 yup. Lots are tempted, but what you do with those temptations is where the problem starts. Ignoring that small voice saying "this is wrong"
@@minseoksblacknailpolishinw5677I think it depends on a person how they handle temptations. some people are weak with it. that's why they develop feelings for others easily.. that's why some put boundaries
The mature thing would be to not spend time with a male friend when in a relationship. Ruined her relationship because she just couldn't step away from another man. Quit glorifying this behavior
The amount of people saying she's a good person, for breaking up with her partner after starting an emotional affair are morally and intellectually bankrupt.
Preventative measures. Feelings don’t come from nothing. They are precipitated by a series of decisions and actions. All of which are absolutely avoidable. This nonsense of falling in love with your ‘best friend’ is because those people never had the sensibility to establish the necessary boundaries to prevent these things from happening.
That’s where your maturity comes in.. Everyone has feelings.. but people should keep their priorities straight in life..it’s about how seriously are you invested in your relationship. She could’ve valued her relationship instead of the friendship.. but she didn’t. instead of jumping into peoples lives based on feelings ITS A CHOICE it cannot “just happen” and for me it is a form of borderline cheating and yes it’s unfortunate that it happened. Props to the lady she had the guts to admit it most men don’t even get that.
Absolutely! Until and unless she lead the guy on, and later crushed his feelings...and instead told him she had feelings for someone else, and broke it off then and there, she is good in my books. Atleast didn't waste my guy's time and feelings.
If that relationship really had her heart, she would have fought to prioritise it. Obviously ,that relationship though healthy, wasn't really getting her in the feels. It's good to be alone than in a relationship where you are half in.
@@Nairaa.835if your relationship can seriously be threatened by an opposite-sex friendship then it simply isn't stable and lasting that long either. Why insist on something that isn't working out great instead of moving on?
Good woman wouldn't let this feelings happen to another person while having a partner. If it happened somehow, just set the right priorities. Family & honour > feelings
@@chimakalu5195yeah but atleast she had the heart to tell the partner instead of letting them believe she was committed to them and then only. It only would have caused them both more pain the longer it went on, bad attitude or not.
Thank you. I think maturity is very important before going into a relationship. The same thing will happen again when she gets married and will still have feelings for another person. I think relationship needs mature women and men.
You only leave a relationship when you are in danger you don't abandon a relationship just because of a crush just because you have feelings for a person.
But sometimes it's true. And you never develop feelings, other times It gets complicated and other times you have feelings for your friend for a while but eventually those feelings go away. Life is not a straight line.
@@eli243lg4statistically one of them ends up having feelings all it takes is one bad day to ruin the rest that’s why all three religions don’t allow it
@@DNA-ei7uo But the problem with statistic is that although you might be part of it, It can also happen that you and your friend are the exception, because you don't know who are you getting to know at first. I want to achieve a level in life where I don't care about gender when It comes to make friends, because I might be stopping myself from getting to know wonderful people, just because they are the opposite gender. You know how rare is to find good people and good friends? True friendship is rare. If you limit it to half humanity is going to be even rarer. Also, I have a question for you. If a bisexual person is in a relationship, should she/him stop being friends with everyone?
If her best friend was a guy, that IS the first RED flag. I have so many questions: 1. Was her BF a guy? If it was a girl... Than this gets complicated... 2. Did she further the relationship with the best friend? How did that work out? 3. What exactly does she regret? being honest about her feelings, hurting her partner, or that this happened to her (challenging her the bad person/ good person internal narrative)? So many questions!
Same thing happened to me but I was on the other side of it. It definitely hurt a lot being told by the person whom I loved they have feelings for another, but I was grateful that they told me. I had to make the decision and I broke up with her then and there without looking back ever since. She tried to stay in my life but I just couldn’t do that. I feel like that is life, we must go through these changes so we can grow through life. If I had held on it would have ended in more meaningless suffering. Everything is a learning lesson, i do not chase my feelings anymore, I let them flow freely, but I will stay on my path and value myself above my own feelings. Idk if any will read this, I just vented 😅. If you read this I wish you the very best in life, if you are going through a hard time know it will get better, and know that there are people out there who understand even tho you may feel alone.
Don’t try to defend for yourself by saying “sometimes things happen.” If you have boundaries and really love the first person, you wouldn’t put yourself in the situation to develop feelings for the second 😅
You have great theories and sound like a child. Life doesn't work according to your principles. You can't just stay with someone you don't want to be with because that's also betraying them - they also deserve someone who thinks they are the one. If you stay with them as a self sacrifice, they'll eventually know the relationship is running on fumes.
@@moabman6803You can’t control your feelings, but you can control your actions. You can’t really help falling in love with someone else, and forcing herself to stay in the relationship while trying to push her feelings down would be totally unfair to her partner
@@kungaroomanga5639 I’m actually implying that women can call in love with both male and female friends so if you’re gonna take anything from this.. don’t let your bias let you forget about the other end of things 👀👀 cuz this day in age both are VERY possible. I know first hand lmaoooo 😭😭😭😭😭
@@DeadfriendsxGaming I’m a straight dude, I like straight women, doesn’t matter if the chick in the vid is gay or bi, she still fell in love with a friend. Despite how specific my og comment is, any normal person can look at it, change and apply it to themselves and their sexuality. Her sexuality is irrelevant to the point I’m making. If you still somehow don’t get it, my take away from this vid is that I, as a straight male, won’t date straight females who have a male best friend bec of ppl like the chick in the vid (Regardless of sex and sexually). I don’t appreciate my speech being lectured to accommodate others like it’s 2016, I’m not gonna metaphorically walk on broken glass again. Don’t make this into something that is not, and if I’m being rude it’s bec I’m in a bad mood and tired.
Just because a relationship is healthy doesn't mean you're obligated to stay in it. People can be in a healthy relationship and just move on in different directions, have life take them down different paths. It's healthier to understand and embrace the change than it is to pretend everything should remain stagnant, that's how your relationship turns toxic
@@nordikkai7185 If you don’t like to be there it won’t be healthy on the first place. The whole logic in Michael’s comment goes around that. You can’t respect someone living so careless about others.
Props to her for communicating. I will say that if you are in a committed relationship and you are developing feelings for someone else, you should probably establish boundaries to limit exposure. Feelings develop from affection and interaction. Spend less time or spend time as group and not alone. It will help clear your mind from what is "felt" to what is "real". Now for this to work, you must be in a serious relationship to which you put a lot of thought in. Dont be lukewarm in love yalls or you will spend a lot of time going with the ups and downs of figuring things out.
It's refreshing to see her hold herself accountable. But the feelings didn't just pop up. It means she kept interacting with the best friend while in her relationship.
why would she not interract with them? being in a relationship isnt about walling yourself off to make sure to stay with a person, thats a dumb and insecure way of thinking
@ytbpatty dumb and insecure? Ok close minded... look what happened in her story. Of course there will be friendships with the opposite sex dude... but we don't know what kind of conversations they were having. Let's not pretend that a completely platonic relationship "suddenly" made her catch feelings.
@@ytbpattybeing in a relationship means working towards marriage. If you’re in a relationship while being open to be entertained by others, then stay tf out of them.
It's better than being with someone you don't really love. Both people in the relationship deserve the same love coming back to them that they are giving
No she didn't. She chose to be selfish and leave her relationship that had 0 issues for someone new. Chances are she will end up doing the same thing to her new partner and divorce her because she gets the butterflies from someone else in the future. So no she is still a bad person.
@@HerotsLament new? Tf? She literally said that she had feelings for her best friend. The thing is, if she wasn't "selfish", she would just be wasting her partner's time.
@@Melo_Marshmello first out of all once you're in a relationship there's no guy best friends. Your partner is your best friend and if he isn't then there's something wrong. Second you don't spend enough time alone with another person if you're in a serious committed relationship to the point you start developing feelings for them. And even if you do make all those mistakes, you ignore them and let them blow over to not ruin your relationship. So yes she is selfish because she chose to not only ruin her perfectly fine relationship but broke the trust of her partner, lied to him and lead him on in the worst way only to leave him just because she found a new toy to play with.
@@User24427exactly lol people just dislike themselves so they find issues in others. nobody who loves what they see in the mirror says things like that.
@@Jewel_Screaming_Chango8387 It's always tricky. If your girl is physically attractive and the best guy friend is a single hetero male, there is a 99.9 percent chance that he is trying to smash or has even smashed previously lol. That's just the way of the jungle, now there are exceptions, but the outliers don't make the rule.
The amount of people praising her is staggering 😂😂 her actions letting someone else in while she's in a commited relationship is disgusting. Feelings don't just develop up outta nowhere.
Feelings develop through repeatedly sharing good times with someone. If her then partner wasn't able to make her feel that about the relationship they were already in that just speak to a poor foundation. It's better to end relationships like that and move on.
Life isn't black and white. This could've been a best friend she knew way before her relationship and just didn't realize she had feelings for. Emotions are complicated. Who knows what went on.. either way, you nor I don't know, and we can't make assumptions. What matters is she was honest with her partner and broke it off, no?
I always tell my boyfriends in the beginning of the relationship, “Please tell me if you fall for someone while with me and I will also do the same. I rather you be honest with me than cheat on me.” I mean truly honesty is the best policy and someone getting hurt is inevitable.
guys i had that too. you have to make a choice and act on it maturely and respectfully. for me i chose my healthy relationship partner and slowly got away from the third person. i forgot about them even faster than i think i would. feelings are weird and deceiving but thankfully we have the mind to control them
@@DEMOSPUBG it’s not cheating to have feelings for someone else because you can’t control it, unless you entertain it and do something about it then it becomes cheating. That being said it freaking SUCKS to go through that, cheating or not. Your partner having feelings for someone while you think they only want and love you, living your day to day life clueless. It truly feels like you are being cheated on when you find out and you can’t even do anything about it because it isn’t technically cheating. It’s sucks SO BAD and I fear it for myself all my life.
@@moent00Feelings are not real and are ephemeral. How many times have you felt anger and simply let it pass? Do you act out on your anger every time and hit people or break things? No. All feelings are the same.
Yep, the subtext of this clip is that she threw away a good relationship to chase her "feelings" and got burned. At least she's young enough that she can still find another partner. Hopefully she's learned her lesson. Many women do this in their 40s and 50s and end up single for the rest of their lives.
Atleast she was open and honest about it. Communication makes such a difference. My girl told me she doesnt love me as a bf anymore. So I walked away. Hurts like hell. But what else am I gonna do? Cant force love.
"i don't know whats happening" You absolutely did. So you either choose the partner or the best friend. But also, you knew it was happening before too long.
Same thing happened to me. I never physically cheated with her and I told my partner about it, but it still ended an 8 year relationship. The shittiest part is that the other person was a roommate (my ex and I lived in a collective house) so there was no real way to get distance from them and it was too easy for the feelings to get out of control. Knowing how much I hurt my ex still keeps me up at night, years later. Even typing this brings me close to tears. Emotional cheating is still cheating even if it doesn't get physical, but damn... It's not so easy to just turn off a feeling.
At least u were honest My partner developed feelings for other girls, he stayed with me for 2 years and out of the blue dumped me saying I am weird As soon as he blocked me he posted a love post with his new gf saying cheers to wonderful 1 yr together, Then I realized he stayed with me to get a job and for money. He used my money to spend on his new girl all this time and to pay her rent. He just wanted my body cause I was way attractive and successful than his present. He had promised to get engaged to me that very year and start a new family. I was so broken then I didn't even confront him, and just left silently. Did I know he was talking to other girl all this time? Yes but he gaslighted me into thinking I am crazy.
He wanted your body because you were way more attractive and successful than the other girl? Yea, he probably left you cause your a habitual liar. People try to rank up not down when their going to move to another relationship and your pfp literally says brokebitchclub.
I suspect she tried to make a move on the friend after torching her relationship and was turned down. So she threw away her great boyfriend to gamble on a one-sided emotional affair and lost. Reality set in when she returned to an empty apartment that once was full of the love she threw away.
@@PhuckYT12 didn’t sound like a mutual break up to me. Sounded like a pretty one sided break up because she fell in love with someone else when she already had someone she loved. Apparently neither one of those relationships worked out so it sounds a lot more like deep regret for making a foolish decision to me. I’m sure it was heartbreaking too but she never had to make that decision. A lot of women leave good husbands or boyfriends thinking the grass is greener on the other side just to find out the grass was just fine where she was. Hypergamy is a very real thing. And before people try to say “men do that too” I’d just like to add I’m sure some do however 80 percent of divorces are initiated by the woman and it goes up to 90 percent if the woman is college educated so I’m going by the statistics, not just making something up.
"He's just a friend" Yeah... women allow other men to get too close and develop feelings while they're in a relationship and wonder why they're being abandoned in the west.
I think the truth is, she was in love with her best friend from the start but maybe he was with someone else or he didn’t feel the same way until he saw her with another man
Literally just telling your partner how you feel is the single best thing to do. She took responsibility in a mature way. So many people just avoid the fact and make it way more complicated than it is
I would have distanced my self from that friend. Why ruin a great relationship? You never know how the next one will turns out. Plus, I've been heartbroken and it left a tear in my soul. I cried to sleep for a long time. agony I went through was immeasurable. I would never wish that kind of pain on anyone, specially someone who loves me. I would rather get hurt than hurting the person who loves me.
@@r3aux how exactly? The deifintion of cheating is to trick somebody, especially when that person trusts you; or to deceive somebody. She develeoped feelings for another person and was honest with her partner about it. Had she stayed in the relationship and concealed those feelings now that would have been emotional cheating.
@@mycollegeshirt if u r loyal to someone, u don’t develop feelings do others. U won’t let urself go down that route, u will not let it get to that point. If a friendship feels good, it feels like there is even a shred of chance that u might develop feelings for that person, u stop it. Being open and honest isn’t what “disloyal” means, maybe seek relationship counseling to understand what “loyalty” means.
@@mrlunar62 dude, that isn't loyalty. Loyalty isn't ignoring your feelings and forcing them to go away and pretending to live in ignorance. Loyalty is understanding that things may not work out and being caring and mature enough to communicate it rather than leaving them in the dark. Don't promote this false and super unhealthy concept of loyalty, it'll only lead to the worst
@@nordikkai7185 it is loyalty. How is someone loyal to other things? Like a family? A country? A friend? I may see something shinier or better in something else, but choosing to stay with the “at the time perceived worse thing” is what we call loyalty. Because u r willing to sacrifice for the companionship. That’s what loyalty means. Do u think a spy who is getting tortured is like “yeah, not being in pain rn would be good so I’ll spit”. No. The person would rather die than to turn its back on his nation. A husband (a loyal one) would rather die than cheat or leave the relationship. And do not dare say it’s “caring” to say to ur loved one that u love someone else more. That the largest most copious thing I’ve ever heard. Ur causing harm to someone, in no WORLD do u “care” for them. A relationship is about putting the other before u. If u can’t understand this microscopically tiny thing about loyalty, I feel bad for the person who r going to be ur partner. Because out of care, ur going to tell them u want to ditch them and u don’t love them.
For a thinking person these are the crossroads that we come to that test your character and ultimately leads to emotional growth. I believe that she is an ultimately wiser person for the experience.
I appreciate her honesty, dislike her disloyalty and the way she tries to justify it. Her type of person is the hardest to identify and hurts the worst when things go wrong.
The fact that she didn’t sneak him like a coward and actually risked whatever they had by being honest makes her wifey fr I’ve seen many play both sides to make sure the jump is secured.
Ppl need to understand that feelings come & go. That never changes with anyone. Commitment is about kindling the flame of passion. It’ll rise & fall with time. Just cause it’s gone in the moment doesn’t mean it’ll never return down the road. But you’ll never know that if you always leave whoever you’ve been with for whoever you haven’t been with.
@@DirtnapJack well im gonna believe her because this is the only story available and i have no reason to not believe her because she has no history of lying. If you distrust your fellow human being this much that you cant believe a random story that has no affect on you nor any effect on the party members involved, you might need therapy(and i dont even say shit like that “you need therapy” bullcrap)
@@legendofsociety796 whether it impacts me personally or not is irrelevant. OP put the story up for the world to see, so guess what? We all get to weigh in. As for this slag, how do you know she has no history of lying?! Is she your besty? There is always another side to story but go on believing.
@@legendofsociety796 you just did say "you need therapy" i'll trust my own instincts, especially when it comes to women telling the truth. Little hint.... they don't until it serves their purpose.
@@DirtnapJack if you feel that way you shouldn’t live in america! Please get out of our country. In here it is innocent until proven guilty. Since there is no conflicting evidence, she is innocent UNTIL SHE IS PROVEN GUILTY. That was the logic of our forefathers so that is my logic. If you disagree with that logic, leave my country
I am a strong advocate for not having close friendships with people of the opposite sex when you’re in a relationship. On both sides, guys and girls can’t have that kind of relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Not saying you can’t have friends but there should be no meets without your partner, little to no calls or texting, and physical contact should be kept at a minimum. I have a really good friend, I told her when she gets a boyfriend or If I get a girlfriend the friendship we have can no longer exists, it would be emotional cheating. We agreed even though it would hurt a bit, it won’t cause any issues that may hurt our partners.
@@watchmehope6560nah women value other things over sex. If you're spending time with another man that's not your boyfriend or your family, you're cheating. I don't think women have a place in the work force because you're submitting to someone other than your husband.
That just sounds like you should date your friend if the friendship is going to become a problem when you're in another relationship. Why would it be a problem if you didn't want to be in a relationship with the friend. The world makes no sense.
I liked your comment and agree with the majority of it, however, what I would point out is that if it would be emotional cheating to remain 'friends' with the girl, I'd offer to you that maybe you guys are more than just friends. I don't keep close female friends and keep distance with those who have partners (I'm the friend that my female friends don't want me around their men or vice versa) because I don't want anyone feeling uncomfortable, but equally, as I know the boundaries I keep with them, I'd don't have to lock off or change the dynamics of.
Good thing she told the partner instead of cheating.
We don't know that.. how she developed the feelings? 👀 besides even flirting and allowing certain kinds of hugs, touches, or entertain certain talks can be considered cheating
@@totally...124you never had a crush on someone you didn’t even talk to? I had a crush on the Starbucks barista in college
@@maddieb.4282 you relativistic one... look at someone and think that the person is attractive is one thing... flirt and etc (being in a relationship) to me it's unacceptable
@@totally...124you don't have to have touches and flirting to develop feelings. Most true feelings I know are developed when a person falls in love with another in their most normal form when the certain person is not even trying to do anything. May be being in a relationship with someone else made her feel how different she felt with her bestfriend without being romantic. Millions of people have millions of reasons to fall in love. Unless we don't we can't claim something.
@@lalopuza except those crazy people that "fall in love" with celebrities/strangers, nobody "develops feelings" without open itself to IMPROPER interactions with another person, people just like to normalize and romanticize... cheating, changing partners like it's nothing, disrespect agreements (relationships), irresponsibility fulfilling social roles etc... awesome society😌
It’s worth admiring that she was and is honest about it and how mature she tried to handle it.
Exactly this
I can't never be with someone like her ...he changes partners as soon as her feelings change?
Oh, you mean how mature she tried to handle it, as She pretended like she was friends with a guy and then she got with him. Not mature at all.
She was being unfaithful, she owned up to it yes but you just don’t have male best friends when in a relationship. Look where it ended. It always ends like this and it was 1000% her fault. Maybe 999 because the dude shouldn’t let her have male best friends in the first place. She’s gonna continue doing this mark my words on that
@@mattiaskeinnn3317 so bisexual people can't have friends at all is what you're saying?
This is why commitment is much deeper than just having feelings for somebody else.
True. What’s stopping her from having feelings for someone else after she gets tgt w her best friend. So naive.
It’s cycle that repeats itself
not a lack of commitment its a lack of patience. she got feelings for the first person and was too quick to make a decision with them before fully knowing them. the lesson is to not rush into a relationship because of how you feel at the moment but to grow with that person over time before making a firm decision, then if it works it works and if it doesnt it doesnt.
@@benireges true
Thank you. Only children believe love and commitment is all about feelings. It’s so much more
She shows maturity in that She's not blaming her partner for her feelings.
rofl what? She basically told her boyfriend she was going to cuck him then did and we're congratulating her for name blaming him?
Here's some life advice for you that you will never follow, but would actually help you. A woman like this that babbles incessantly about how healthy, open, and modern her relationship is will never be loyal to you.
That is literally the bare minimum, as that’s how an immature teen would respond. She doesn’t deserve credit for doing the bare minimum.
@FeeForDreams the majority don't do the bare minimum, got to encourage the minority showing a good example.
It's incredibly immature to believe that you can't control your feelings.
False, she shows a very immature response. Condemning people and thinking you are above them, wiser and more mature, and therefore you will handle things better than anybody else is a typical stance of an adolescent. Since they have no experience, they are all intentions, but zero shortcomings. It is easier from that point of view to establish a moralistic view of the world.
Women do this all the time. Since they don't dare to decide about their feelings, they create a situation where the man has to do it. Some women will even cheat to provoke the end of a relationship. This is clearly a way to enable them to assume a victim position. In this case, she was just being mature, it was the other guy who had to decide to accept that situation or to end it on the spot.
This is absurd. Opposite-sex best-friend relationships are hard to handle. They are people who spend a lot of time with your partner and they usually know each other better than you know your partner.Friend assumes that there is no sexual tension in the relationship. When you say that there is, the thing is over. Confessing that is like torpedoing the relationship. It is like saying to your wife: hey, do you Janet, that coworker with whom I have spent a lot of those late hours working on the new project and we have her for dinner a couple of times, so .. I'm "developing" feeling towards her. Come on! It is over.
Besides, cheating is never to blame on the partner. Hollywood pushed that cultural notion that if the man cheats, he is just a piece of crap, but if a woman does it, the partner is the one to blame because he starved her emotionally.
This is ridiculous.
Good for her for being honest witg her partner at the time. It hurts, but honesty can be respected
I agree
Nah thats just immature if ur relationship goes by feelings and a bigger red flag falling in love with ur best friend. Tf? That is absolutely unacceptable
True
you can’t really control your feelings though… one time I told my fiancé that I had feelings for a coworker… I told him that I still wanted to marry him and I still choose him, but I wanted to be honest. We believe in Jesus & the power of prayer, so we prayed about it. Now, I don’t have feelings for that coworker and we have been married for 6 months :)
@@slurp3194you can't just control your feelings. People change and that's life get over it
You can't control your feelings but you can control your actions!
You control your feelings by controlling your thoughts
@@Chris-pg7qg You've never been in love then
@@Chris-pg7qgeven Spock couldn’t always control his feelings, and he was the master of controlling his thoughts
Like a guy saying he just could not control his feeling so he slept with her.
@@celinho68just because they happen doesn't mean you have no control. You can control them by steering the direction. If you realize you start to feel something, you can choose to minimize the time you spend around said person. That's control.
Honestly Its better the girl says the truth about this to her ex boyfriend then cheating. Anyone would agree she handled it maturely, when it could’ve gone way worse if she cheated on him.
She cheated already though, emotionally. She realized she had feelings for her best friend and kept hanging out with him till she couldn't handle it no more. She was in complete control. She chose this but I will commend her for telling her ex though.
*than
"ex-boyfriend" is not accurate, I'd bet. I think this is about two lesbian relationships.
@@koomo801yeah the way she acts there’s no way she’s straight
The issue is that ppl call it mature when the whole thing is immature. Ppl should just stick to saying it’s good she was honest and moved on rather than saying she’s mature when it’s clearly a lack of it.
Her honesty is commendable.
That said, don't take the sentence "you can't help a feeling" too seriously.
It's an infantile approach to life.
If you value your relationship more than this initial crush-emotions, you need to distance yourself from the person you're crushing on.
If you don't, you need to break up.
I had a similar situation. But i suppressed those feelings by ignoring my friend and removing her from my life entirely. I had to choose between my stable and wonderful relationship and a new friend. I chose my current partner. It took a year to get rid of all those feelings. But I know it was the best decision i made in my life. It's been 12 years since then and i do not regret anything.
Exactly, even a married person can develop feelings for others, the thing is to delete others and work and improve your relationship with your partner, good for you🎉
This is such a mature and right thing to do. How do older generations had stability ? It's cuz they wouldn't entertain their little feelings. They remained in that relationship through thick and thin. Reality is we always meet people with a certain degree of attraction factor but it's something normal. The key is this if you are single you can take your time and enjoy that moment given that the other person is single too. You wouldn't wanna be tht guy or girl who is that person who took away other person's partner thts just a shit thing to do. Be smart. Other key is if you are in a relationship then you better buckle up and stay grounded. Feelings come and feelings go. The key is loyalty. Therefore before you enter a relationship give it a long hard thought and take your time and manage expectations.
There is this thing I heard from someone 'You can actually decide before you finally submit to the fall'
Its normal to appreciate other people's beauty and attractiveness but if you allow room or chances for possibilities to grow feelings that's where it can go wrong. Salute man.
So true, ur decision is so mature and wise. Hope u will always have supportive people around u. Tbh, it's rare to find someone having a mindset like u. Most people just care about their own feeling now days, they hide behind 'u should respect ur own feeling', but they forget to respect their spouses feeling. As a couple, we should adapt each other. Sometimes, we should make changes to our things. Some changes in us didn't mean we're in a toxic relationship. It's all about respect, keep learning, and keep adapting.
Blessings to you, Sir!
This is the kind of person I wanna see interviewed again in 40 years.
Car crash
😢
Why, because she handled a break up responsibly and treated her partner with respect? I’d like to see you and I in forty years. Our arms locked and faces smiling for our wedding photo, Philip
@@ln5747are you ok?
She will probably end up with a cat 😂
As much as it sucks to hear those words from your girlfriend, I’d feel relieved compared to being cheated on. One is straight up truth and honesty, the other is being betrayed and backstabbed.
Dude dodged a bullet tbh. If she's the kind of woman to leave her healthy relationship because she felt the butterflies for someone else it means she didn't love him, she just loved the fact she felt the butterflies when she was around him. And she'll likely leave that partner too once the magic of it is all gone.
Some people gotta realize love isn't just a feeling, it's part of it sure but it's a dedication to committing your life with someone else to build a future together. That commitment goes two ways and she broke hers because she wasn't committed to the person but committed to the feeling that person gave, once that was gone she left.
What a banger comment
Do you even know what a best friend is
Some people gotta realise writing an essay about someone else youve never met is the dumbest shit you could possobly do
@@Honto-cv9wb I've had one for the past 15 years. Also how is it dumb for writing an essay? I wrote it cuz I'm passionate about the topic and have seen this kind of behaviour in people before. Also "possibly" is spelled with an i you dumbfuck. :)
came here to say that!
Thats why its so important to realise that love is a decision, not a feeling or emotion. Its a decision to stay with your partner and not go running after every person who trigger some feelings.
Love is indeed a very deep emotion and feeling,yes you can stay with someone even without loving them but there is no point and even they deserve someone who loves them
@@luciferxo6384exactly. People don't realize that we don't choose to love someone, it's not something rational.
@@elyz98 If any part of it is irrational that’s due to the chemicals and what stage you’re in.
It’s always the same and that’s why it’s an action not a feeling. It’s a shame more people don’t educate themselves on the phases of how that all works because it matches up with how long people tend to stay together nowadays, since they seem to believe love is a feeling.
3-5 years, it’s almost always the same story.
Love is a feeling, not a decision. But you decide whether to be with the person or not.
@@SunShine_sublimelove is a decision. Feelings will change and come back stronger and etc. You don't lead on your feelings
She looks like real version of Minzu the blue eyed samurai
Yes! So many people have said this ♥️
I WAS LITERALLY THINKING THE SAME WTH
I came here for this comment 😂
Literally I was thinking the same thing and saying no way because how like deadass I thought I would never even see a irl mizu but the algorithms have proved me wrong again
Yes, she really does, I was just thinking that!
"You dont have to worry about him. He is just a friend"
Exactly
Life happens, feelings change. Adding jealousy to the mix will only make things harder. Anyone can develop feelings for someone at any time, so your take is pretty off-base. Did you even listen when she said, "Life is a lot messier than we think." ?
@@thedouchebagofholding980you don't understand and will never find happiness until you do.
@@thedouchebagofholding980 yes I heard her excuse lol
It's still Treason, but the way she handled it and the path she chose, nothing but respect.
Bro got saved by a kevlar. It’s still hurts but he’s safe now.
Nothing wrong with developing feelings while dating. Have you made complete commitment yet? No then why would it be, it wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary. What's wrong is if you start an affair with someone before quitting the first relationship.
Edit: It's unfortunate but you're not wrong for having feelings. It can become wrong tho depending on how you handle it. For example now if someone has a family involving 3rd person, that scenario is different and should be handled better. But if not then it's not a crime to leave and then go after the new. But if you think you don't want these feelings or don't want to leave the one you are with currently, then try everything to stay away from the second person even if it's till you get hold of your feelings. Majority of people make it wrong by trying to start something new while also staying at the previous one BECAUSE they don't want to risk. That's why it's tricky.
She didn't say she cheated, just that she developed feelings
@@anytime8950 I didn't say she cheated either. That is the point
@@iri8032 ok then I take it back. Just sounded like it because you wrote about having an affair
@@anytime8950 Nah I meant that as in what wouldn't have been okay
Pov my mom
No one breaks up more relationships, than their just a friend
Or she’s just a friend
@@StormyHallahan Right! The way she phrased the story sounded like it was a she, rather than a he.
@@Nabinut no, I just meant it’s the same for both sides is all
She said partner instead of bf she clearly had a gf/non binary partner.
@@mimistate2371 I call my partner “partner”. He’s a straight man. I’m a straight woman.
Feelings are honestly a choice… You choose to immerse yourself in them and not consider your partner in any of it. I have met many people over the years who I could be interested in right off the bat HOWEVER even while single, I still never THREW myself into those feelings. Why? Because you don’t really know that person. She says she started developing feelings for her “best friend” but how long were they really friends? Was that person actually more of her best friend than her partner? My fiancé is my best friend to start with… He is my biggest supporter therefore the best friend you could have and then I have a couple close friends that fall after him. Everything is a choice. People fail in relationships when they act like everything is just beyond their control. It’s not!
I'm so glad to know that there are many smart people who know everything about everything in youtube. The future for this species is really bright you guys.
"Hes just a friend why are you acting so jealous??"😂😂
THIS^ and chicks wanna act stupid when it comes to this topic like this never happens 😂
Oh yes, because this happens with every single male/femsle friendship.
@@louiseerbslisbjerg7854 pretty much
@@louiseerbslisbjerg7854 It happens enough that men have to be cautious lol. You’re the EXACT person I’m talking about. Playing dumb
They never said her friend was male.
Her eyes are so mesmerising
Not her attitude and loyalty. He deserves someone better
@danielsaragih
This is real life, not some fantasy that is sold as reality. At least she was honest and gave her partner a chance to stay or leave.
@@vmat6684 so I can cheat as long as I be honest? You simp are out of your brain. Or just normalised cheating, then stop crying when men do the same ok?
How was she disloyal? She told the guy. @@danielsaragih
@@yhiontop oke then I will cheat on you then told you also, i am loyal and honest ☺️
Puts "He is just a friend" in a different light
Be careful, apparently you gotta use gender neutral language because “HoW dO yOu kNoW ShE HaD a MaLe FrIeNd?”
Just a heads up
@@kungaroomanga5639 coz he went down when i kicked it in the nuts
You don't know if the best friend was a she
@@sinnella1she still trash
"I was like oh no, I don't wanna be like all those bad people that I see..." But then.. screw it , whatever 😂
We all have that little voice inside secretly judging others when they mess up, until we mess up ourselves. This lady is taking accountability, realizing that feelings sometimes mislead us, she's being honest with herself and others about this messed up situation, props to her ✨ we learn from our mistakes and become wiser when we take the time to reflect on them mistakes and understand our flaws. I wish her the best, she's only human and no human is perfect.
Stop simping , the boyfriend knew that shit wasn’t good , he knew about the best friend , in what world are you living? She was lying about it , “ it’s just a friend “ how many times do you think she lied to him ? If you can’t understand that, you’re not a man , or you’re one in potential danger because you can’t see bullshit
@@sekaiomiruhitokaminoyume5426 I'm a straight woman °_° and even if I was a man, that still wouldn't be simping. God chill out dude, you need happiness, I mean it, get off the internet and be happy.
@@Burnt.Ice.Cream. that’s why you cover for her
@@sekaiomiruhitokaminoyume5426 I wish you love Buddy. Do not let the injuries inflicted on you Make you bleed on people who did nothing to you. And do not absorb the injustices of this world too much otherwise you'll lose your inner peace. We have limited time to live, we cannot change the world, we cannot change humanity, but we can choose how we react to existence. Take care of yourself and nourish your happiness, resentment is no way to live in peace. Sending you hugs Buddy. I mean them, God bless ✨
@@Burnt.Ice.Cream.You should understand that if your assumption about that person is true, then those words that you have written will feel Condencending and Demasculanizing for him. It is not gonna help anyone. Either you do understand this then you are a narcissist who likes patronizing other people or you are not aware of that, then you shouldnt attempt to help someone because no help is better than wrong help
I love people who take accountability, she is an honest person and that is so beautiful. That is so good of her
oh noooo a girl falling for the best "friend"!!!!!!!!!
He's just a friend, don't worry. 😅
Women praising each other for below bare minimum
Anyone else here really like Tom and Jerry? It has literally been my favourite show for 40years. My friends think I'm nuts...
Falling in love while being with another one is not honestly
This gives a whole new meaning to "they're just a friend"
You did the right thing. Nobody owes you a relationship and you don’t owe anybody one.
She didn't undergo any HEARTBREAK.
She did the Breaking.
She did the breaking, aye. Does that mean she wasn't affected herself? Well of course she was! That's what guilt is.
They cry out as they strike you
Hurts someone else and makes herself the victim. Truly a woman moment
@@Briselance
Sure.
Cry me a river.
She didn't do anything to deserve the anger I'm getting here. Beyond that, a person can break up with someone and still be heartbroken over it
Chasing feelings will only run you in circles, if you chase something that’s fleeing, you’ll live your life on the run, in a circle of emotions, only trying to chase and feel happiness. This leads to a life where you run from people and relationships chasing the things that make you feel good, leaving you with no one around when your time comes.
Reality is life has its highs a lows, you need to ride out the storm to come out the other side, because you’ll never get through the storm, chasing the sun.
this is actually good advice that a lot of people won't realize until they die!
That depends on the kind of highs and lows you go through, and if you honestly think the end goal you can reach with your current partner is better than what you could with someone else. Or even alone.
Relationships aren't worth saving just because they exist, they need to be what's best for yoir life.
@@leonardomarquesbellini right, I’m not saying stay in something abusive, what I’m saying is every relationship has its highs and lows, some days you’ll feel like you can’t live without them, some days you don’t even wanna see their face.
What I’m saying is if something, exciting and new comes along, people aren’t like iPhones, there isn’t a new one around every corner, at some point, you will run out of options, and you will have burned every bridge down, and have no one to turn too when your old.
Life isn’t a fairy tale, you won’t love someone 100% all the time, what my comment pertains too is that love is NOT measured in feelings, of which she blatantly says “I caught feelings for someone else” love is measured in time you are willing to spend on a relationship and in the amount of BS someone is willing to put up with for you, and vis versa.
Truth is we are all human, non of us are perfect, we all have flaws, and the real relationships that stand the test of time, are the ones that ride out the storms and not leave because they feel any specific way in any given moment. Like I said, feeling are fleeting, they come and go, you can’t base your life on feelings, people who do that, never end up in a good place. Examples could range from the act of genocides like in WW2, all the way to drug addictions. Feelings shouldn’t dictate your life, you should, or to put it metaphorically don't let feelings, cloud your judgment.
When something like that happens, two options:
- shut up and put distance between you and the friend
- break up
Telling your partner is just something you do to feel good about yourself. It's not for the sake of the partner. It's not for the sake of the relationship.
Not really. Some people feel it is tye right of their current partner to be aware of what is happening. That shows strong and righteous character in my opinion.
@@cristinaratiu4535 did you notice how you framed it as something that will only help yourself feel better?
Not your partner. Not the relationship. Just you.
@@parametr I disagree, maybe the partner is okay with a poly relationship, maybe they would even want it? Maybe they would want a reason why someone is suddenly growing distant or breaking up. Or maybe simply being honest about it and hoping you can work through the situation with the partner for the relationship instead of breaking up is the move. You don't know.
And when you don't know the respectful thing to do is be honest, tell your partner and let them make choices for their own life. This is called trust and respect.
While someone can single headedly just call off whatever relationship they have without any explanation, that's a pretty big red flag that they never considered the other person as part of the relationship in the first place. No one owes anyone explanations but you're not the only one in the relationship that's breaking either.
Whenever anyone basically unilaterally makes decisions about the relationship AND assuming they already know exactly what their partner *MIGHT* think of the situation, that's never for the sake of the partner or the relationship either.
Sure maybe the partner decides the relationship is over, maybe they don't even know how to handle it, maybe they're happy to hear it and can't wait to see what their friend says about dating both of you and yes some times maybe the partner would have been happier never knowing, regardless I think if you love and respect someone letting them know the truth about the situation and trusting they can handle their own life is for the best, for the partner and for the relationship (even if it's breaking).
@@entecor3892 I see.
You should tell your partner, because "maybe the partner is okay with a poly relationship".
So... again because maybe it can work to your benefit. Great.
Note: check the stats on poly relationships... the vast majority go bad, real bad. Very very difficult for those to work.
@@entecor3892 paragraphs of "but maybes and what ifs" to justify being a narcissistic peice of shit
omg something extremely similar happened to me but i was on the other side of it, my ldr partner started crushing on someone from their school and we openly communicated about it, although it was really hard and heartbreaking for both of us im glad that we were always honest with eachother, you are not a bad person for developing feelings for someone but how you handle the situation really matters
Exactly what she said about becoming the bad person you didn't want to become. It just happens, that's JUST LIFE in many circumstances. There is no escaping it unless you are ignoring it AKA being ignorant. Best way to handle it? Learn, grow, understand and find peaceful solutions.
This goes for anything, when someone becomes bad in any way. And don't shame to just shame, because that will just push that person to embrace their darkness.
U wouldn't know darkness if it stared u in the face. It's all "mature" & "modern" & "handling it" till u cross the wrong guy. Sum1 to whom ur life means nothing once u betray them. Wut u gonna do then? Huh? Talk to them... maturely? Good fucking luck
Everyone’s capable of cheating, that I can’t deny. But if you are mature enough you wouldn’t put yourself in a situation to find another.
@@vikix981 This. People oftentimes feel like if they have to “not put themselves in certain situations”, then it’s control.
I think people should decide if they care more about the chance to fuck up, or choosing discipline.
She has control of it still. Anyone can fall for anyone even if ur in a good relationship if u open urself to others that's why there are boundaries u place not just on others but for urself. And that's why u cant have a male BEST friend.
I developed feeling for someone ... Very strong one at that . . Thankfully I got over it...
I respect her honesty but boundaries are there for a reason.
Do you really like that person if you need to set boundaries with others?
Genuinely asking , cause some people call that cheating already
Even before you set boundaries, the moment the thoughts enter your mind
@@minseoksblacknailpolishinw5677 yup. Lots are tempted, but what you do with those temptations is where the problem starts. Ignoring that small voice saying "this is wrong"
@@minseoksblacknailpolishinw5677 take that back. Looking lustfully and not stepping back (the things I would do to him/ her)
@@minseoksblacknailpolishinw5677I think it depends on a person how they handle temptations. some people are weak with it. that's why they develop feelings for others easily.. that's why some put boundaries
Boundaries aren't restricting your partner from her friends. I don't know who was telling you that.
The mature thing would be to not spend time with a male friend when in a relationship. Ruined her relationship because she just couldn't step away from another man. Quit glorifying this behavior
The amount of people saying she's a good person, for breaking up with her partner after starting an emotional affair are morally and intellectually bankrupt.
Man I hated that I think it's women and simps
Yup.
Preventative measures. Feelings don’t come from nothing. They are precipitated by a series of decisions and actions. All of which are absolutely avoidable.
This nonsense of falling in love with your ‘best friend’ is because those people never had the sensibility to establish the necessary boundaries to prevent these things from happening.
Can’t agree more
Amen
Some boundaries are implied (at least I hope) … how do you catch feelings for someone else?
@@AirForceA7x at the start, the first time when you realize that some feelings are developing - exactly at that moment you cut them loose
@@ghosteagle583But it often is very subtle and sometimes more people are involved. People may start to wonder?
That’s where your maturity comes in..
Everyone has feelings.. but people should keep their priorities straight in life..it’s about how seriously are you invested in your relationship.
She could’ve valued her relationship instead of the friendship.. but she didn’t.
instead of jumping into peoples lives based on feelings
ITS A CHOICE it cannot “just happen”
and for me it is a form of borderline cheating and yes it’s unfortunate that it happened.
Props to the lady she had the guts to admit it most men don’t even get that.
Absolutely! Until and unless she lead the guy on, and later crushed his feelings...and instead told him she had feelings for someone else, and broke it off then and there, she is good in my books.
Atleast didn't waste my guy's time and feelings.
Not it is cheating because you have to be open or looking for it to happen.
If that relationship really had her heart, she would have fought to prioritise it.
Obviously ,that relationship though healthy, wasn't really getting her in the feels.
It's good to be alone than in a relationship where you are half in.
@@Abandoned2377feelings just happen, attraction isn't something you control.
@@Nairaa.835if your relationship can seriously be threatened by an opposite-sex friendship then it simply isn't stable and lasting that long either. Why insist on something that isn't working out great instead of moving on?
Good woman wouldn't let this feelings happen to another person while having a partner. If it happened somehow, just set the right priorities. Family & honour > feelings
Yep, the guy she told the first bf not to worry about. The classic, "he us just a friend".
She's being honest about it.
Bad attitude. Having feelings for another person when you have committed to another
@@chimakalu5195yeah but atleast she had the heart to tell the partner instead of letting them believe she was committed to them and then only. It only would have caused them both more pain the longer it went on, bad attitude or not.
Thank you. I think maturity is very important before going into a relationship. The same thing will happen again when she gets married and will still have feelings for another person. I think relationship needs mature women and men.
We must avoid being heartbreakers.
You only leave a relationship when you are in danger you don't abandon a relationship just because of a crush just because you have feelings for a person.
"Hes just a friend"
"Hes like a brother"
"I could never have feelings for him"
That's how it all starts 😂
But sometimes it's true. And you never develop feelings, other times It gets complicated and other times you have feelings for your friend for a while but eventually those feelings go away. Life is not a straight line.
@@eli243lg4statistically one of them ends up having feelings all it takes is one bad day to ruin the rest that’s why all three religions don’t allow it
@@DNA-ei7uo But the problem with statistic is that although you might be part of it, It can also happen that you and your friend are the exception, because you don't know who are you getting to know at first. I want to achieve a level in life where I don't care about gender when It comes to make friends, because I might be stopping myself from getting to know wonderful people, just because they are the opposite gender. You know how rare is to find good people and good friends? True friendship is rare. If you limit it to half humanity is going to be even rarer.
Also, I have a question for you. If a bisexual person is in a relationship, should she/him stop being friends with everyone?
When they tell me the other person is like a sibling. I’m like nope. You guys didn’t come out of the same birth canal. Sorry. lol!
And that’s why he was her “best friend”. Just waiting for the right time.
If her best friend was a guy, that IS the first RED flag. I have so many questions:
1. Was her BF a guy? If it was a girl... Than this gets complicated...
2. Did she further the relationship with the best friend? How did that work out?
3. What exactly does she regret? being honest about her feelings, hurting her partner, or that this happened to her (challenging her the bad person/ good person internal narrative)?
So many questions!
Same thing happened to me but I was on the other side of it. It definitely hurt a lot being told by the person whom I loved they have feelings for another, but I was grateful that they told me. I had to make the decision and I broke up with her then and there without looking back ever since. She tried to stay in my life but I just couldn’t do that. I feel like that is life, we must go through these changes so we can grow through life. If I had held on it would have ended in more meaningless suffering. Everything is a learning lesson, i do not chase my feelings anymore, I let them flow freely, but I will stay on my path and value myself above my own feelings. Idk if any will read this, I just vented 😅. If you read this I wish you the very best in life, if you are going through a hard time know it will get better, and know that there are people out there who understand even tho you may feel alone.
Don’t try to defend for yourself by saying “sometimes things happen.” If you have boundaries and really love the first person, you wouldn’t put yourself in the situation to develop feelings for the second 😅
yeah true.
Facts
W comment
Not really. Life is unpredictable. You'll understand more if you get in her shoe.
Atleast she didn't cheat and talked with her then current partner.
You have great theories and sound like a child. Life doesn't work according to your principles. You can't just stay with someone you don't want to be with because that's also betraying them - they also deserve someone who thinks they are the one. If you stay with them as a self sacrifice, they'll eventually know the relationship is running on fumes.
This is admirable. You can't change your feelings. But you can control how you handle your relationships.
And she chose to cheat soooooooooo
What are you? A child? Of course you can control your feelings
@@moabman6803You can’t control your feelings, but you can control your actions. You can’t really help falling in love with someone else, and forcing herself to stay in the relationship while trying to push her feelings down would be totally unfair to her partner
So, don’t date women that have male best friends. Got it.
Where did she say it was a dude ??
@@DeadfriendsxGaming Are you implying straight women don’t fall in love with a male friend? Not sure what nonsense you’re trying to pull here.
@@kungaroomanga5639 I’m actually implying that women can call in love with both male and female friends so if you’re gonna take anything from this.. don’t let your bias let you forget about the other end of things 👀👀 cuz this day in age both are VERY possible. I know first hand lmaoooo 😭😭😭😭😭
@@DeadfriendsxGaming I’m a straight dude, I like straight women, doesn’t matter if the chick in the vid is gay or bi, she still fell in love with a friend. Despite how specific my og comment is, any normal person can look at it, change and apply it to themselves and their sexuality. Her sexuality is irrelevant to the point I’m making.
If you still somehow don’t get it, my take away from this vid is that I, as a straight male, won’t date straight females who have a male best friend bec of ppl like the chick in the vid (Regardless of sex and sexually). I don’t appreciate my speech being lectured to accommodate others like it’s 2016, I’m not gonna metaphorically walk on broken glass again. Don’t make this into something that is not, and if I’m being rude it’s bec I’m in a bad mood and tired.
Women with guy bestfriends is a massive red flag, wouldnt date such trash
I always believe that your partner should be your bestfriend in life :)
I hope she didn't say that when she broke the news
No,why would
@@MALAY_TENGU Why wouldn't?
“We’re just friends”
Famous words.
Our relationship is so healthy that i love someone else
Leaving a healthy relationship for someone else isn’t something that should be respected.
Exactly this
Just because a relationship is healthy doesn't mean you're obligated to stay in it. People can be in a healthy relationship and just move on in different directions, have life take them down different paths. It's healthier to understand and embrace the change than it is to pretend everything should remain stagnant, that's how your relationship turns toxic
@@nordikkai7185 If you don’t like to be there it won’t be healthy on the first place. The whole logic in Michael’s comment goes around that. You can’t respect someone living so careless about others.
Props to her for communicating. I will say that if you are in a committed relationship and you are developing feelings for someone else, you should probably establish boundaries to limit exposure. Feelings develop from affection and interaction. Spend less time or spend time as group and not alone. It will help clear your mind from what is "felt" to what is "real". Now for this to work, you must be in a serious relationship to which you put a lot of thought in. Dont be lukewarm in love yalls or you will spend a lot of time going with the ups and downs of figuring things out.
Amazingly well put 👍🏾
It's refreshing to see her hold herself accountable. But the feelings didn't just pop up. It means she kept interacting with the best friend while in her relationship.
I agree. Having feelings isn’t wrong but you can certainly intensify and solidify them by continuing to interact with that “friend”
You can indeep feel a sensation growing stronger even if you don't interact with that person...
why would she not interract with them? being in a relationship isnt about walling yourself off to make sure to stay with a person, thats a dumb and insecure way of thinking
@ytbpatty dumb and insecure? Ok close minded... look what happened in her story. Of course there will be friendships with the opposite sex dude... but we don't know what kind of conversations they were having. Let's not pretend that a completely platonic relationship "suddenly" made her catch feelings.
@@ytbpattybeing in a relationship means working towards marriage. If you’re in a relationship while being open to be entertained by others, then stay tf out of them.
It's better than being with someone you don't really love. Both people in the relationship deserve the same love coming back to them that they are giving
"He's just a friend "
I respect her, she told the truth before the unthinkable happen. She done him good actually...
No she didn't. She chose to be selfish and leave her relationship that had 0 issues for someone new. Chances are she will end up doing the same thing to her new partner and divorce her because she gets the butterflies from someone else in the future. So no she is still a bad person.
@@HerotsLament so what do you expect her to do?
@@HerotsLamentshe was honest, it happens, relax.
@@HerotsLament new? Tf? She literally said that she had feelings for her best friend. The thing is, if she wasn't "selfish", she would just be wasting her partner's time.
@@Melo_Marshmello first out of all once you're in a relationship there's no guy best friends. Your partner is your best friend and if he isn't then there's something wrong. Second you don't spend enough time alone with another person if you're in a serious committed relationship to the point you start developing feelings for them. And even if you do make all those mistakes, you ignore them and let them blow over to not ruin your relationship. So yes she is selfish because she chose to not only ruin her perfectly fine relationship but broke the trust of her partner, lied to him and lead him on in the worst way only to leave him just because she found a new toy to play with.
She's so natural and gorgeous🥺🥺
Her face is too long
@@AFA111Can we see what you look like now?
@@AFA111 Bro it is genetics what is wrong with that
@@User24427exactly lol people just dislike themselves so they find issues in others. nobody who loves what they see in the mirror says things like that.
beauty obsessed
I learned "Love" and "In Love" are 2 entirely different things. The first is way more preferable than the latter.
She's gorgeous.
First red flag, having a best friend that isn't your partner
True
And friend of opposite sex while in a serious relationship
nah your comment is a red flag
@@Jewel_Screaming_Chango8387 It's always tricky. If your girl is physically attractive and the best guy friend is a single hetero male, there is a 99.9 percent chance that he is trying to smash or has even smashed previously lol. That's just the way of the jungle, now there are exceptions, but the outliers don't make the rule.
Exactly
The amount of people praising her is staggering 😂😂 her actions letting someone else in while she's in a commited relationship is disgusting. Feelings don't just develop up outta nowhere.
Love is a fire and it'll stop burning someday
Feelings develop through repeatedly sharing good times with someone. If her then partner wasn't able to make her feel that about the relationship they were already in that just speak to a poor foundation. It's better to end relationships like that and move on.
Agreed. People today are so childish. "But my feelings!" Adults don't make decisions based on feelings.
Life isn't black and white. This could've been a best friend she knew way before her relationship and just didn't realize she had feelings for. Emotions are complicated. Who knows what went on.. either way, you nor I don't know, and we can't make assumptions. What matters is she was honest with her partner and broke it off, no?
@@whitemakesright2177 Love is all feelings LOL
I always tell my boyfriends in the beginning of the relationship, “Please tell me if you fall for someone while with me and I will also do the same. I rather you be honest with me than cheat on me.” I mean truly honesty is the best policy and someone getting hurt is inevitable.
Being honest is the best thing she did. Yeah, it's gonna suck, but being truthful about it is the right move.
guys i had that too. you have to make a choice and act on it maturely and respectfully. for me i chose my healthy relationship partner and slowly got away from the third person. i forgot about them even faster than i think i would. feelings are weird and deceiving but thankfully we have the mind to control them
So you cheated and got away with it?
I wish you were judged as criminals in court, but court system only uses half of the bible's truth. And sometimes people just kill people
@@DEMOSPUBG it’s not cheating to have feelings for someone else because you can’t control it, unless you entertain it and do something about it then it becomes cheating. That being said it freaking SUCKS to go through that, cheating or not. Your partner having feelings for someone while you think they only want and love you, living your day to day life clueless. It truly feels like you are being cheated on when you find out and you can’t even do anything about it because it isn’t technically cheating. It’s sucks SO BAD and I fear it for myself all my life.
This is why we shouldn't worship feeling. Be loyal. Not all feelings need to be entertained.
But it's not honest to stay in a relationship if you're in love with someone else. I'd say it's very unfair to do this to your partner.
@@moent00it isn't love, it is a feeling. They will come and go. You make a choice to love someone through it all
@@moent00Feelings are not real and are ephemeral. How many times have you felt anger and simply let it pass? Do you act out on your anger every time and hit people or break things? No. All feelings are the same.
Yep, the subtext of this clip is that she threw away a good relationship to chase her "feelings" and got burned. At least she's young enough that she can still find another partner. Hopefully she's learned her lesson. Many women do this in their 40s and 50s and end up single for the rest of their lives.
But why be in a relationship if you're falling out of love? That isn't fair to either party
The fact she calls her bf her partner shows that she never took him seriously.
At least she was honest and broke things off instead of cheating or hiding things. I can respect that.
justifying trashy behavior
Atleast she was open and honest about it. Communication makes such a difference. My girl told me she doesnt love me as a bf anymore. So I walked away. Hurts like hell. But what else am I gonna do? Cant force love.
"And are you still with your bestfriend?"
"Oh no we never dated, I fell in love with my bestfriend's cousin"
That's how they are. Probably tried to double back to the first guy too
This why you don’t mess with female that have male “best friends”
I don’t remember hearing her say it was a dude 👀👀
@@DeadfriendsxGaming stop with the hypotheticals dork
That's the way to do it. I respect her for that
"i don't know whats happening"
You absolutely did. So you either choose the partner or the best friend. But also, you knew it was happening before too long.
An incredible, humble lady well on her way to integrating her shadow side.
Wow a cheating lady
@@danielsaragih that ain't cheating kid
@@hinaguiza8810 that are cheating kid. Its ok if you want to normalise cheating, just dont have your double standard toward men ok?
@@danielsaragihnobody mentioned men though
@@hinaguiza8810 you done gaslighting?
Same thing happened to me. I never physically cheated with her and I told my partner about it, but it still ended an 8 year relationship. The shittiest part is that the other person was a roommate (my ex and I lived in a collective house) so there was no real way to get distance from them and it was too easy for the feelings to get out of control. Knowing how much I hurt my ex still keeps me up at night, years later. Even typing this brings me close to tears. Emotional cheating is still cheating even if it doesn't get physical, but damn... It's not so easy to just turn off a feeling.
Honestly she’s brave and humble. I wish her well and may her ex find the right person for them
At least u were honest
My partner developed feelings for other girls, he stayed with me for 2 years and out of the blue dumped me saying I am weird
As soon as he blocked me he posted a love post with his new gf saying cheers to wonderful 1 yr together,
Then I realized he stayed with me to get a job and for money. He used my money to spend on his new girl all this time and to pay her rent. He just wanted my body cause I was way attractive and successful than his present.
He had promised to get engaged to me that very year and start a new family.
I was so broken then I didn't even confront him, and just left silently.
Did I know he was talking to other girl all this time? Yes but he gaslighted me into thinking I am crazy.
Hugs to you 😢❤ hopefully hes gone to make room for someone better and more deserving of you to come along
Damn, guy was an AH fr.
Anyways, best of luck to you ahead in life...✌️👍🥂
He wanted your body because you were way more attractive and successful than the other girl? Yea, he probably left you cause your a habitual liar. People try to rank up not down when their going to move to another relationship and your pfp literally says brokebitchclub.
Funny how she considers it a heartbreak for her when she was the one moving on 😂 some of these people blow my mind
Even a mutual break up can be heartbreaking.
@@PhuckYT12 it was a choice she made. An optional decision, that’s called regret not heartbreak.
I suspect she tried to make a move on the friend after torching her relationship and was turned down. So she threw away her great boyfriend to gamble on a one-sided emotional affair and lost. Reality set in when she returned to an empty apartment that once was full of the love she threw away.
@@lordhawkeye people really out just making a bunch of headcanon about others' lives.
@@PhuckYT12 didn’t sound like a mutual break up to me. Sounded like a pretty one sided break up because she fell in love with someone else when she already had someone she loved. Apparently neither one of those relationships worked out so it sounds a lot more like deep regret for making a foolish decision to me. I’m sure it was heartbreaking too but she never had to make that decision. A lot of women leave good husbands or boyfriends thinking the grass is greener on the other side just to find out the grass was just fine where she was. Hypergamy is a very real thing. And before people try to say “men do that too” I’d just like to add I’m sure some do however 80 percent of divorces are initiated by the woman and it goes up to 90 percent if the woman is college educated so I’m going by the statistics, not just making something up.
"He's just a friend"
Yeah... women allow other men to get too close and develop feelings while they're in a relationship and wonder why they're being abandoned in the west.
this
I think the truth is, she was in love with her best friend from the start but maybe he was with someone else or he didn’t feel the same way until he saw her with another man
Literally just telling your partner how you feel is the single best thing to do. She took responsibility in a mature way. So many people just avoid the fact and make it way more complicated than it is
I love that she was, at least, mature enough to be honest & not cheat. She has a good heart. We need more women like her.
The best friend you have nothing to fear about 😂😂😂😂
I respect her for being honest, most people aren't.
I would have distanced my self from that friend. Why ruin a great relationship? You never know how the next one will turns out. Plus, I've been heartbroken and it left a tear in my soul. I cried to sleep for a long time. agony I went through was immeasurable. I would never wish that kind of pain on anyone, specially someone who loves me. I would rather get hurt than hurting the person who loves me.
😢😢
First time thinking like this thank yoj
Dude out of context but she can do a really good cosplay of Blue eye samurai mizu 💙
Lmao that's what I thought, she low-key looks like mizu
She has a good heart and cared enough about her ex to tell him. We need more people like her in society.
How are you all celebrating this woman leaving a stable relationship for her friend? What we need is loyalty and self control
Telling your partner and talking it over instead of cheating is 100% the right way to go.
See, this is what good people do... they don't hurt their partners by cheating, they are honest. Respect++
She cheated emotionally lol a lot of you in the comments have zero awareness…
@@r3aux how exactly?
The deifintion of cheating is to trick somebody, especially when that person trusts you; or to deceive somebody. She develeoped feelings for another person and was honest with her partner about it. Had she stayed in the relationship and concealed those feelings now that would have been emotional cheating.
Damn, loyalty is hella rare huh
Sadly
How was this disloyal. How is open and honesty disloyal. This take is so telling.
@@mycollegeshirt if u r loyal to someone, u don’t develop feelings do others. U won’t let urself go down that route, u will not let it get to that point. If a friendship feels good, it feels like there is even a shred of chance that u might develop feelings for that person, u stop it. Being open and honest isn’t what “disloyal” means, maybe seek relationship counseling to understand what “loyalty” means.
@@mrlunar62 dude, that isn't loyalty. Loyalty isn't ignoring your feelings and forcing them to go away and pretending to live in ignorance. Loyalty is understanding that things may not work out and being caring and mature enough to communicate it rather than leaving them in the dark. Don't promote this false and super unhealthy concept of loyalty, it'll only lead to the worst
@@nordikkai7185 it is loyalty. How is someone loyal to other things? Like a family? A country? A friend? I may see something shinier or better in something else, but choosing to stay with the “at the time perceived worse thing” is what we call loyalty. Because u r willing to sacrifice for the companionship. That’s what loyalty means. Do u think a spy who is getting tortured is like “yeah, not being in pain rn would be good so I’ll spit”. No. The person would rather die than to turn its back on his nation. A husband (a loyal one) would rather die than cheat or leave the relationship. And do not dare say it’s “caring” to say to ur loved one that u love someone else more. That the largest most copious thing I’ve ever heard. Ur causing harm to someone, in no WORLD do u “care” for them. A relationship is about putting the other before u. If u can’t understand this microscopically tiny thing about loyalty, I feel bad for the person who r going to be ur partner. Because out of care, ur going to tell them u want to ditch them and u don’t love them.
So the friend zone isn’t the end?
[Jim Carrey Voice] So you’re telling me there’s a chance?!! 😂
For a thinking person these are the crossroads that we come to that test your character and ultimately leads to emotional growth. I believe that she is an ultimately wiser person for the experience.
Mizu in real life
I appreciate her honesty, dislike her disloyalty and the way she tries to justify it. Her type of person is the hardest to identify and hurts the worst when things go wrong.
The fact that she didn’t sneak him like a coward and actually risked whatever they had by being honest makes her wifey fr I’ve seen many play both sides to make sure the jump is secured.
You’re gonna wife up the chick with tons of male friends she likes to spend time with solo? 😂
Ppl need to understand that feelings come & go. That never changes with anyone. Commitment is about kindling the flame of passion. It’ll rise & fall with time. Just cause it’s gone in the moment doesn’t mean it’ll never return down the road. But you’ll never know that if you always leave whoever you’ve been with for whoever you haven’t been with.
Shout out to her for being honest instead of pretending and gaslighting her partner
She may very well have done that. This could all be total cap to save face
@@DirtnapJack well im gonna believe her because this is the only story available and i have no reason to not believe her because she has no history of lying.
If you distrust your fellow human being this much that you cant believe a random story that has no affect on you nor any effect on the party members involved, you might need therapy(and i dont even say shit like that “you need therapy” bullcrap)
@@legendofsociety796 whether it impacts me personally or not is irrelevant. OP put the story up for the world to see, so guess what? We all get to weigh in. As for this slag, how do you know she has no history of lying?! Is she your besty? There is always another side to story but go on believing.
@@legendofsociety796 you just did say "you need therapy" i'll trust my own instincts, especially when it comes to women telling the truth. Little hint.... they don't until it serves their purpose.
@@DirtnapJack if you feel that way you shouldn’t live in america! Please get out of our country. In here it is innocent until proven guilty. Since there is no conflicting evidence, she is innocent UNTIL SHE IS PROVEN GUILTY. That was the logic of our forefathers so that is my logic. If you disagree with that logic, leave my country
It is refreshing hearing the mature and articulate response of something so deeply personal.
I am a strong advocate for not having close friendships with people of the opposite sex when you’re in a relationship. On both sides, guys and girls can’t have that kind of relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Not saying you can’t have friends but there should be no meets without your partner, little to no calls or texting, and physical contact should be kept at a minimum. I have a really good friend, I told her when she gets a boyfriend or If I get a girlfriend the friendship we have can no longer exists, it would be emotional cheating. We agreed even though it would hurt a bit, it won’t cause any issues that may hurt our partners.
Jesus thats wild. I've never in my life had to do that. 😂 crazy you gotta go to such extremes.
@@watchmehope6560nah women value other things over sex. If you're spending time with another man that's not your boyfriend or your family, you're cheating. I don't think women have a place in the work force because you're submitting to someone other than your husband.
That just sounds like you should date your friend if the friendship is going to become a problem when you're in another relationship. Why would it be a problem if you didn't want to be in a relationship with the friend. The world makes no sense.
I liked your comment and agree with the majority of it, however, what I would point out is that if it would be emotional cheating to remain 'friends' with the girl, I'd offer to you that maybe you guys are more than just friends. I don't keep close female friends and keep distance with those who have partners (I'm the friend that my female friends don't want me around their men or vice versa) because I don't want anyone feeling uncomfortable, but equally, as I know the boundaries I keep with them, I'd don't have to lock off or change the dynamics of.
@@Lilmanskis exactly 👍🏾
Thank god she didnt just cheat
Thank goodness she communicated with her partner
She cheated emotionally lol.
Hmm, I personally never heard her say she didn't...