Don’t feel like you belong In this world?
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- čas přidán 28. 02. 2024
- The thing that got me into psychology is the same thing that almost completely derailed my entire life. And to this day, I'm still not sure what that thing was.
Why did I feel like I didn't belong in this world? What caused me to believe the life I was living was the wrong one?
I spent 5 years chasing a feeling that something existed "out there" that could fix everything inside of me. During this period I felt no connect to anything or anyone in my life. It was all there, but I didn't care about it.
The only reason I am where I am in life right now is because of some specific coping tools that I'm going to walk you through.
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But I do care.
The more aware you are, the lonelier your life will be.
Truth!
Yes it is.@@davemathews5446
I think there's different types and levels of "aware"... people might think they are fully aware. But we are all in prison to our own experience. Listen to ramana maharishi or eckhart Tolles story of waking up and becoming self aware, and it's pure bliss, a connection with the universe, the opposite of lonely. But who the hell knows
I've been in verbal therapy and different groups for almost 50 years. My first therapist with his Ph.D. helped me become aware of some powerful things. But he was very harsh and abusive. I thought this was normal because that is how my father and mother were. They and my brother were alcoholics. My therapist became a severe alcoholic but hid it from me during sessions until it was so obvious. Eventually I sued him and by age 55 he died from the alcoholism. I had to start with someone new after shopping around for verbal therapists. I've been seeing the same guy but not as often for 25 years. I really don't think that I can become much more aware. I know myself now better than any therapist but sometimes a life problem comes and we need help or feedback. @@Jonny-wt3rg
that is not true, unless you want it like that.
I'm 60 years old and for as long as I can remember, I always feel like I want to go home. But I don't know where home is 😢 I also have long periods of time where I know that I love people but I don't feel it.
same
Same
Same
Well said. Especially wanting to go home. I just want a safe cozy place that doesn’t exist.
you guys aren't crazy. you just haven't tapped into exploring what this pull could be telling you is what it sounds like. A good place to start unlocking this is to think about music, places, art, literature, cultures, etc that you like. try to visit or find out more about the place that thing originates from. you might actually start to feel more at home. there are a lot of people who talk about feeling like they've come here from another planet. I'm not one of those people, but Christina Lopes is someone who has spoken on this topic before.
For me it’s like a mixture of anxiety, depression, and wanting to be free from the prison of being the person I am.
Same here...I want to change myself but I just can't and I feel like I'm stuck within myself.
@@yuumoe7006 me also
It's not so much that I feel alone -- rather, I feel left behind. So many people seemed to have moved forward in life.
"There's something back there that you left behind." Time Passages. Al Stewart
Wow. Your comment really hit home for me. Intense.
That's one more thing.
Wow that hurt
Relatable
I feel like I’m watching everyone else from a looking glass and they’re all enjoying relationships and connection while I can’t.
I think i feel the same way often but I'm still too young to say. Like I'm only capable of observing, i find it incredibly hard to be the first one to interact with someone, I always wait for people to interact with me. I feel like i would bother them and I want to get over this feeling but I don't know how.
I really am one of the freaks that can't fit into the world. What is in my head is my world. I can't think like most people. I only have myself. I can only connect with others for a very short time. Apparently all we really have is our own brain and some people have not evolved past that and think they belong. We only belong to ourselves. If you put most peoples' brains together, you still only get half a brain.
You perfectly described his I feel
Yes. When I walk through a public space, I see couples together talking, laughing, smiling. But I am like a ghost floating by -- I can see others but I can never be like them. Although I'm more accustomed now, still the line between Others and Me grows more distinct.
I remember feeling this way when I was young
i have never felt i belonged
Yes you do ❤😊‼️ 23:25
Ditto !
It's both a blessing and a curse to feel that you don't belong.
same and sadly I know it won't ever change
Same here
I feel detached and I don't feel like I belong anywhere. I feel like an alien. I don't feel connected with most people. I don't have interest in what most ppl do. I tend to depend on myself, don't know how to ask for help when I need it. I'm afraid of rejection so I'm not usually proactive. I don't feel understood. And when people have misunderstandings or wrong assumptions about me, I don't feel like explaining and standing up for myself. I just let it be but then I get hurt and disappointed in society. But recently, I had an outburst. I got defensive and rude which put me in awkward situation with my colleagues. I think it results from suppressing all the feeling of unfairness when I was misunderstood. I think I'm also lonely. I don't have anyone to talk to about such things. My family don't understand and I don't have any friends to talk to. And the feeling of isolation and not fitting in make it worse. I always feel like I'm not normal and something is broken inside me. I think people also realize I'm not normal. I feel insecure. I don't know how to go on, I'm not sure about my future. My career and my life...I'm not sure if I can make it.
I understand what you mean.I am HERE,if you want,feel like you want to connect.
I feel you on every level here m8….like scarily down to a T. I pretty much had these exact thoughts going on in my head earlier. I never feel like anything I have to say is worth saying even when it’s with family and that’s kinda new for me…they were always my “at least THEY will get me” and now I feel like I literally have no one. It’s not that my family loves me less…I just don’t know who I am anymore and I just am so…aloof around people. I act mostly content and seem so a lot but inside…I just feel empty and kinda lifeless. Like…I’m searching for this spark to light something in me up like how o felt when I was a kid..only now…I’m worried I’m about to stop looking for it.
@@lonewanderer_n7 I kinda miss the time when I was a kid...I think I was a bit serious as a kid due to my strict upbringing but I was confident and passionate. Somewhere along the way, I become awkward with low self-esteem and just accept and go with the flow, no serious regards for my life. I wonder how I turn out to be like this. The ppl around me are so normal and I'm the only one who's abnormal, a black sheep.
Precisely where I’m at
I used to feel like that too. Maybe not quite as intense, but similar. I even moved to a different country hoping things would feel exciting. Sometimes they did, but honestly, I think I was just trying to run from the problem. My advice is to first understand that this doesn't have to be permanent. There are tools out there to help you overcome certain feelings, or obstacles in your way to get where you want to go in life. (Or to even figure out WHERE you want to go in life.) So, just know that it doesn't have to be this way. I know, from personal experience, that it feels permanent, like "this is just me and I won't change." But circumstances can change. I wish you all the best in finding your own particular tools for making a happier life for yourself.
Ignorance is happiness. I noticed that the more I am aware of my self and aware of people and everything of the world I became sad, feeling empty and everything seems don’t make sense.
I am cursed with self awareness. The happiness I've been in life is when I chose to be ignorant.
I can relate to that 💜🇬🇧
Wishing you the best Lacey@@Laceycrochet
I LONG for those days! Omg yes!
And one of the hardest parts is dealing with the masses that are completely NOT self-aware now
I feel like this is one of the reasons I struggle to get close to anyone.
@@hollysquietspace
I died around 14 and still dead at 60. I just move through space, doing the best I can to help my family. Didn't work, marry, have children. Have no goals, nothing interests me. The only thing I am glad about is that I am 60 and physical death isn't too far off anymore.
What made you die at 14?
@icke11234 not sure, which is why I'm in therapy. Just knew I wasn't happy or interested in life.
Read A Course in Miracles
@Roxcare might do that. I have often passed it in book stores, but haven't picked it up.
@@hello_sunshine19 No, please don't read that book of channeling dēmons. Oprah used to promote that woman.
I often feel my life is like I’m watching TV, everyone else is in a show and I’m watching from the outside as if I’m not there and can’t change the channel, forced to watch it
Are we in the Turner show? Remember it?
@@judytaquino6412 you mean the Truman show with Jim Carey?
@@TayWoode Yep.
@@judytaquino6412 that’s slightly different coz he didn’t know he was in a TV show watched by the world, I feel like the world is a show I’m watching and I’m not part of it.
If that makes any sense
This sounds like autism
I truly feel and believe that I was born in the wrong world. It is not just a feeling for me, but a fact. It’s not even about mental illness, it’s the fish out of water syndrome, a guppy in a shark tank syndrome at times. People are motivated by extrinsic rewards like money, power, sx, war, things etc. I am motivated by connection, love, vulnerability, and just wanting to see others happy. It has been quite difficult to find that reward in modern society. I am motivated by the beauty of nature and want to nourish it. Other people (the mainstream) want to cut down the forest, build houses, and pretty much pave and control nature. We have HOAs (a big part of many people’s lives) that insist we keep our lawns and NEVER plant trees. I know I would be happier surrounded by trees, but once I plant them, I get scrutinized by the neighbors. I like to take things slow and enjoy the moment, other people want me to hurry up. Cars are made to go fast and we are dependent on them, I prefer to walk or bike places, but most places are made for fast cars. Biking and walking to the grocery store is a risky endeavor. As a woman, it is even riskier. I don’t belong in this human world. I feel it in my soul, but I belong in nature, and perhaps a society focused more on nature, moderation, balance, love, kindness, peace, slowing it down, calmness, quietness, and support. I don’t think that society really exists. Yes, a lot of our modern marvels keep us alive and safe, which I appreciate, but they don’t nourish our mental health or nature. This modern society does not nourish our souls.
I have the same motivations. I don't get other people's hunger for power, money, war, etc. Also just people's superficiality. It's like no one knows how to have deep conversations and deep connections anymore.
So beautifully and truthfully stated.😢😢😢😢
Same, I have just discovered that I am on the autism spectrum (neurodivergent )we see things very differently from people that are neurotypical. Our brains are wired differently, not to mean any better or any worse than anyone else, just different. Unfortunately it seems that if you don’t believe the same as others most are not able to understand, or just don’t want to try to understand.Causing bullying. My experience for almost 70 years.
I'm much like you & always have been. 🤔
Makes me laugh when people say “we are all social beings” not sure who convinced them of this, but definitely not my experience. Social norms are for sheep
Our society was not built for people. That's deep, Doc.
"It is no sign of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society". - Krishamurti
This Dr here is saving lives Daily frim his incredibly honest helpful videos in a world right now where's Theresa 5 yr wait to get a Psychiatrist,let alone afford a psychologist,and he shares a very important suggestion in a recent video.
Develop a Spiritual connection w Universe,Source,God,Byddah,or Krishna or Allah etc❤
Not by people for the people.
Our society is built for the multi billionaires of the world not average people.
Let’s give brake to society but not design of it, it’s intentionally designed to keep you busy with nonsense, to be focused on survival, most people have no time to stop, too much at stake or too many persons life depends on them, responsible,raised in caring household, with good work ethic person will do anything in its power to not abandon their family, carry on sadness, pretending all is well.
I am 58 and dont think I am ever going to enjoy my life anymore after what has happened the last four years. The best part of my day is coffee and my kitty cat on my lap in the morning.
This life is BS
Whatever happened, I'm so sorry that it had to happen.
Ditto
I can relate to it. I also feel that my cat doll is the best thing ever..but I don't feel "normal" since I love my doll more than human.😢
I totally understand you! I have been feeling the same way lately. Thank you for sharing your feelings, my friend
This is beyond relatable .. for years I’ve said that I felt homesick for a place I can’t remember
It seems like everyone else likes each other and they’re having fun easy lives, while I’m watching and not fitting in anywhere. I try to make friends, but nobody really likes me and I’m so sad here.
I know the feeling. I do think some people are being avoided despite having a good heart. Are you a no-nonsense and very authentic person?
@@Mika-El- Very genuine person and I try my best to be kind.
.“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” - Henry David Thoreau. You are not alone in this.
No love you are not alone
The homesick feeling is loss of innocence. We think it’s a normal part of growing up but it’s not. It results from the need (of all young adults) to integrate with and exist “normally” within a sick society. The internal conflict results from having to develop and integrate with a culture and environment that is fundamentally at odds with ourselves. The apparent “healthy” and “normal” response to which is self-denial (ie just getting on with your life) but inevitably results in the sort of existential turmoil and feelings of estrangement you describe. The answer is to fix our sick society so that developing children are born into and remain in a healthy loving and nurturing environment. Not easy, but absolutely critical for any advanced society.
Uhuh. Transition from childhood to adulthood normally should be a continuity, today it is a rupture
Ahhh this makes SO much sense! Thank you 🙏🏽
I think about this all the time, glad some see it the same way
This makes some sense, but I remember feeling like this since forever, in very early days of my life.
Amen brother, this is living in the state of unconditional love.
I don’t feel like this world is for me at all. This world is not what I hoped it would be.
AGREE
It isn’t, I think it’s disconnected as a whole when it should be connected and functional
@Mmmmchocolate...have you travelled to other countries, experienced other cultures/ways?
It's evil n gettin worse
Usa sucks
I am so glad you shared this. Please don't feel bad about feeling vulnerable. This quote by Krishnamurti really resonates here - "It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society". I think those of us who can't adjust, are likely the healthiest among us - we know this society or civilisation is so bent and corrupt, and that we, being healthy, cannot bend ourselves to fit inside it. It's only nature's drive to survive that keeps us going within it.
Right on. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing that. I often wonder why I can’t just be what others want me to be. I got the license to help others like he did and I don’t like my profession putting people in diagnostic boxes. Some people get the degree, hide behind the wall when being real and connecting w compassion is healing not giving labels and documenting their pain in a notebook.
100 percent …. This world is a rolling ball of bullshit pole to pole …. Those of us who do not fit are like in a chronic viewing of “FreaKy FrIdaY” or the series called “Wacky Wednesday” ….. where everything that is wrong is now, right and what was good is now bad, up is down …. and so on…. And if u don’t believe what the rest of the world believes, YoU are the “odd-man-out!” It is absolutely crazy and the number of narcs that are exploding! into our our mainstream; but it shouldn’t really be seen as an anomaly …as we are encouraged to “live our best life,” or cheered on to, “You be YoU” through life … People feel absolutely “licensed” (by media, government, instructors, those in authority- positions,) to choose their own selves, but it’s just another way to degrade the norms WE …non - narcs… were born with (depending on when you were born). By encouraging everybody to be whomever or whatever they want to be -without any skills, experience, or generational expertise , the norm-makers are producing armies of entitled idiots running the world! And they’re drunk on the power, have
a have a vengeance for anyone who still believes ‘you become what you “make”of yourself,’ and the level of authority or of reliability is directly derived by the practices of building yourself up…. With
effort, self-control, practice, preparation, planning. Not just deciding to be something …. It ‘s all about fakery these days . AI and tricks, no authenticity , Dysphoric, desperate, “instant” experts are rising every day ! Frauds and imposters . And Narcs gaLoRE!!! Sorry to sound so downtrodden …. But it really does add to the already chaotic wold we live in.
Your videos have done more for my mental health than years of therapy. From the bottom of my finally healing heart, thank you.
I'm 55 and I knew from age 13 that I don't belong here. I have never been happy and have nothing but grief over friends, parents, siblings, and pets that have passed.
Dam fam get some 420 N learn to trade crypto
@@trickywily2823I'm too messed up to to do the 420 thing and don't care for crypto.
Same....haunted by the past.....live there in my mind 99% of the time
Same here. Both my sisters died suddenly at the age of 38 6 years and 2 years ago. I've never felt so lonely, detached and disinterested in life as I do now..I live in the past and look forward to my future when this life is over and I can see my loved ones again. Hang in there- I pray we all can find some moments of joy in our lives again before its all said and done.
Same here.
Another thing that's hard is you see most people around you acting fake happy because most people are dying inside but just pretend they're happy or don't face their issues.
Unfortunately so incredibley true. Even worse here in Europe..
I SEE IT AND FEEL IT. it’s so painful for me to be around people sometimes.
Exactly. I think of this all of the time.
Exactly Right.
Or r they rlly hppy in the shallowness of the moment of keepin this shit at bay??
Today I woke up super negative, disliking everything about my life. I kept trying to think positive but the feeling of disgust doesn’t go away 😢
I feel like I don't feel the full impact of feelings. Like theirs a bubble of hopelessness around me.
I remember it like it was yesterday. A good friend and I were walking in the parking lot at work getting ready to enter the building when he said, “You know Robert, we were born at the wrong time.” This really resonated with me that day and even more so today all those many, many years later. My only regret was that I wish I knew what he was going through mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and that I had been more caring and compassionate to his needs in that moment. For me, it feels like I am out of place or in the wrong time line. It really manifested itself in 2016. Then in 2019 my Mother passed away. In 2021 my older sister who was my best friend passed away unexpectedly. I also lost my job that same year after working for my employer for 10 years. I wonder could this be some form of P.T.S.D? I stay so depressed, lack motivation, and feel numb. Honestly, at 61 years old, I feel like an expired carton of milk that got shoved to the back of the refrigerator. I feel like my life has no purpose, direction, and I don’t know why I am still here. Any attempt to be positive and put myself in a better place for tomorrow ends in disappointment and failure. Sorry to be all gloom and doom here, but I just can’t ditch these feelings of hopelessness and negativity for the future. Well, maybe my comment will help someone else that may be feeling the same way. I wish I had a solution or a coping mechanism that I could share. Regretfully, nothing has helped thus far other than just trying to take things one day at a time and try not to allow myself to become overwhelmed which is hard to do.
❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎💜💚💛🧡❤
It's the same for me.
💐 🤍
The folly is looking for validation from any other human. It is not there. St John's Wort is an herbal antidepressant I use. Better living through chemistry. It helps quiet my soul.
You are not alone in this
I’ve always felt I was born wrong like it wasn’t my turn but I went anyway. Nothing has ever felt right
Odd feeling indeed. Thank you for sharing.
Ironically Dr Scott is the most real therapist I've ever encountered. Thank you for the transparency and vulnerability.
Yesssss!!! That's why I love this guy!! He's SO real! I resonate with so much of what he says
Being a member of AA, its very similar. True support only comes from those who have walked in your shoes cus they are the only ones that get you. ❤
Absolutely 💯
❤
yes totally, because he understands us.
This video saved my life. I saw this in my algorithm for several days now and I thought I'll watch it eventually...Then in the throes of feeling depressed and like I didn't belong, don;t want to be here any more, I want to go home, I don't fit in, etc, I saw this again and it felt right to watch it. Just before hand by a few minutes, I said to myself if I don't get a sign or someone to reach out to me, there is no god or something out there. It means I get to go home. I feel so much better. This video is going to be shared! Thank you for making this!!
Hello there!
Always "ask" the universe/god for an answer. He will provide. Good luck mate, you are not alone.
I remember being in primary school (maybe 10 or 11 years old?) and suddenly becoming aware of myself, those around me, adults not seeming to know how to even be themselves and the system that seems cyclical and devoid of purpose: go to school, go to college, learn some meaningless shite, go to work, slave away your time to simply exist, marry someone, have kids, repeat the cycle, then die.
since then it has felt like there is a hole inside my chest where something should be but is either missing or never was to begin with... I'm 25 now, and only just learning how to express the feeling, but having talked to family, friends and mental health professionals, I doubt this feeling will ever leave... not fully atleast.
The only thing that's really brought my joy is creative expression in a supportive community. This has been healing ad nurturing. Best wishes..🌷
“The loneliness of feeling unseen by others is as fundamental a pain as physical injury, but it doesn't show on the outside. Emotional loneliness is a vague and private experience, not easy to see or describe. You might call it a feeling of emptiness or being alone in the world. Some have called this feeling existential loneliness, but there's nothing existential about it. If you feel it, it came from your family.”
― Lindsay C. Gibson, _Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents_
I grew up and live back with parents with Aspergers...no emotional connection or warmth...not their fault at all...but I think this is why I feel homeless inside?
Thanks for sharing! I want to read this book
Utter bullshit. My parents were nice. Still depressed
@@markbaker4425 Perhaps so, but I wasn't talking about depression. I'm not depressed but I have this feeling, whereas people who are depressed doesn't necessarily need to have it, since the two are (probably) correlated in the sence that "existential loneliness" likely is one cause of depression, but certainly not the only one. There are many others - one or more of which you obviously struggle with. I hope you recover from it.
This also reminds me of an article "Emotional Neglect and Complex PTSD" by Pete Walker.
From the introduction:
"This article highlights the prodigious role that emotional neglect plays in childhood trauma, and how it alone can create Complex PTSD. It begins by extensively examining the processes of denial and minimization that blunt our awareness about childhood trauma. Denial is first explored in relationship to abuse, especially verbal and emotional abuse, which then sets the stage for a more complete explication of the trauma of emotional neglect. Denial about the deleterious effects of childhood abandonment seriously delimits our ability to recover. Continuous emotional neglect turns the child’s psyche into a quagmire of emptiness, fear and shame - a quagmire that she will, as an adult, frequently flashback into until she understands and works through the wretchedness of her childhood. Without such understanding, her crucial, unmet needs for safe and comforting, human connection will continue to cause her an enormous amount of unnecessary suffering."
The full article can be read here: pete-walker.com/pdf/emotionalNeglectComplexPTSD.pdf
im not depressed, i still can feel joy in little things, like a nice hot chocolate. But as soon as it comes to myself and something where i have to put actual work into... im just .. i just dont have the motivation.
You likely are depressed. Feeling joy in little things just means you don't have anhedonia.
This is me, 100%
Same, when I had nothing I felt good healthy and happy, now I'm financially stable and have opportunities to live any life I choose, thier was no motivation. For me the answer was returning to my way of life growing up on the grandparents farm..and the RV park thingy I build myself and run while living my life outside the city limits where I was born and raised with 2 dogs and a cat. Still living that 70s life and love it.
@maliniatb Exactly the same for me! Except I can't enjoy hobbies that are unproductive that take time away from working.
I envy people who enjoy hobbies like hiking, scuba diving, playing guitar etc. I feel like they are privileged. I feel like I'm so behind on everything that I could never take time away to do something unproductive, I feel like I always have to catch up on work, but I'm always procrastinating (including now).
@maliniatb This sounds like me, I’m currently on the waiting list for adhd assessment (think I have the inattentive type).
After my wife passed away I was lost and extremely confused about who I was and where to go, I had to completely change my outlook and reinvent myself in a way that made some sense and future focus. I left a job that made no sense but paid well to return back to uni and change professions. 5 years later I now run my own business and do support work life coaching and counselling, for men who have no idea of direction. The simple truth is you need to know what makes you happy and live your own best life be able to self reflect and ground yourself alone. I do trail walking and adventure motorcycle rides for therapy and social support. The universe sends you messages to change and evolve to get of the couch and self coach yourself it’s also an important flag to instigate change you subconscious is screaming your made for something better.
I'm so happy to have found this channel. This is a very important message to all especially the affected ones and also those who are kindhearted that are understanding of people who have this kind of affliction.
To be understood alone is a great blessing.
I'm old with grandchildren but I have never felt that I belonged. I pretended that I'm a member of the family out of survival. I would never be able to articulate this feeling of emptiness & detachment from everything. At the end, love, service, kindness & care for our fellowmen are the only things that really matter.
I can totally relate to what's being discussed here since this is the only world that's familiar to me.
I was so fascinated of psychology that I took the course in college.
The closest condition I could think of is called depersonalization. Feelings that you're seeing your thoughts, feelings, or body or parts of your body from the outside. For example, you may feel like you're floating in the air above yourself. Feeling like a robot or that you're not in control of what you say or how you move. I also experienced the dark side when I was a child. I never told anyone what I saw because it's too frightening. Demons & the devil are real...I wonder if they reason of my detachment from everything since I was a child.
I'm not a pro but this doc is very articulate, brave & intelligent.
Childhood trauma ripped me from whatever path I was born to follow as a naturally well balanced individual. Consequently, there was simply 'no room for me at the table'...or so I thought for my entire adult life. I, too, have always felt that the real 'inner me' was waiting to be freed. In this last chapter of my life, new coping skills are starting to make a difference. Looking
forward to viewing this video. Thanks.
I'm crying while reading this bsc I've been there too. I still am. I'm glad that you have found a way to change that. Wishing you all the best, you've deserved it.
Do you know what caused your childhood trauma?
My family would have dinner together every night. I would look at them and wonder who are these people. I'm not supposed to be here or with them.
I feel this strongly. A year ago I’ve never would’ve even thought to bring up the sort of grievances, now, with all my research into complex PTSD, I can see my parents ripped my life away from me at a young age. No one should’ve been six years old and crying on the playground because he had no friends and no one to talk to about it now 35, wasted my entire life in my room where I’m safe and don’t have to interact with anyone. It’s so tough.
I hear you Steve! Things have gotten better for me since I really began to look at my own childhood trauma, and I saw how it has effected nearly every part of my life. It's through understanding that we can find peace. Sometimes putting a name to something is helpful.
Reading the comments, we all seem to be thinkers & feelers in a world that is growing increasingly superficial. Spirits in a material world. To me, it offers an explanation as to why some of us experience existential crises, when the majority seem to flow down the mainstream happy and un-phased. We are all created equal but we're definitely not all the same.
Maybe the feeling of being born in the wrong time is a desire to live in a simpler time. We are increasingly becoming detached from nature, and our own natural cycles. We collectively seem to be losing hope that we can have the life that we want, even as social media tries to cram that idea down our throats. It's funny how we call modern society "the real world".
Oh, your comment resonated with me so deeply ❤ I've longed for a simpler life so many times. Every year I spend two weeks as a leader at a scout camp in the nature. We come to a plain meadow and we have to build every tent (with wooden sides and raised beds), every tepee, kitchen tent... everything. And then about seventy of us live there for the next fourteen days basically caring for our basic needs, spending time with each other, preparing activities for the kids... The rest of the world doesn't exist. No paperwork. No computers or phones. No news. No social pressure like career, family, money... All these things are put off for a while and I live free of them while at the camp. Fourteen days. The best ones I have every year. Because without the constant longterm worries I just go through the day moment by moment, being happy or troubled about the present things, instead of the huge things I mostly cannot change. I wish I can do this in my normal life. But I haven't figured out how yet. I hope I will one day. Because I think that is the key for me. I don't need a simpler life - I guess that is just one version of my unfulfillable longing (and frankly, life will never be simple for a long period of time, that's just something what life doesn't do 😅). I need to learn how to be present and less worried about what's gonna be. I'm only at the beginning of discovering this direction so I'm hopeful I can cut my way throught the forest of my feelings and walk the way I like 🙂
@@nefi_n "I need to learn how to be present and less worried about what's gonna be."
Yep, I think you have the key. Based on what you wrote let your growing awareness guide you on that walk. But realize you will encounter things that will trouble you as well. Most humans are sympathetic creatures. There are monsters as well.
That's such a good comment
Yeah that modern day superficiality is getting to me too.
Not that I am not superficial in my own way. I used to feel like... well, at least the Prince of shallow fun. But even shallow fun has no glow if it is not supported by actual depth of soul and mind.
Untrue. What makes a positive society is ethics not extreme polarities of primitive vs modern. Living like an animal is also distressing. Pretty sure you do not want to go back in history when society and people were even more barbaric, immoral and cruel, riddled with disease and even basic survival was harsh.
Omg I had no idea that another person felt this way. I genuinely thought that I was alone
Thank you for sharing ❤
Thank you for being brave enough to be vulnerable about something a lot of people who would never be brave enough to do themselves or even know what it is they feel, we need more of this in the world. ❤
Thank you for sharing.
"Society isn't built for humans".
This seems to be at the heart of my current struggles. I'm fed up with the system, the need to have a career, the search for fulfilling work, the need to get along with people, the incessant treadmill of work/bills. I don't fit in with any of society, it's all fake. I'm completely, utterly bored with it all.
I used to have my non- negotiable dailies but recently I've stopped caring about it.
I too feel like I'm cursed with too much self awareness.
Hopefully, if we ever see the sun again in England I'll feel more energised and break some inertia to do something useful with my life.
Exactly!!! I think there is a completely different potentiality for life to be in more harmony and in sync, but the “world system”, how I described it today in therapy, is not one I feel well in or thrive in, much less feel like I belong in. There’s something much more and I think everyone’s really feeling/sensing it
@m444 Agree. People are exhausted living "lives of quiet desperation," and they've become wiser and unwilling to buy into various misguided messages being doled out over the centuries. There indeed is something much more, people are sensing the answers which exist within themselves, and life can be fulfilling and joyful for all here, in true freedom and self-expression. "Only man has tried to rob us of our birthright." - Ernest Holmes. I think we're slowly moving toward an era of enlightenment.
Actually, that statement resonated with me a lot. I don't understand why I have to put in effort for everything I do, and don't get the fulfillment I think I deserve in exchange. Humans in this society are not supposed to be self-aware and rationalize everything because really: Nothing makes rational sense anyway.
In the end, fulfillment and happiness only occur when you're ignorant and don't question everything. To me, that's just wrong and my sense of dissatisfaction in my life.
Same way I feel...literally.
I feel the same. It’s exhausting to be here in this weird place Planet Earth.
Sometimes i just don't want to exist anymore
I've never heard someone describe what I've felt for most of my life. Thank you for sharing so we're not alone!
Welcome to your spiritual awakening! Start meditating, become present as much as possible, you will shift. You feel neutral about everything and your mind is judging it. You are a soul in a body and it’s more than likely you are in the battle. You are not your thoughts. I’ve experienced all you are saying.
Can you please explain if i am not my thoughts what am i after this or how i will change and keep it changed? I do feel that i am different then what I am because i have a soul like all other people and this is just the begging of our true life.
The thoughts come from the physical brain. This too will pass when the body dies. The "real" you is the intangible part that lives on when this body/brain dies. The physical brain thinks & feels. The eternal you knows and loves....
@@ionrazvan126 read the bhagavad gita and you will know 🩵
@@ionrazvan126 look up 'I AM THAT' free pdf. Might help
It’s absolute insanity and loneliness. Absolutely disconnected it’s so much worse on a different level than just being “sad”.
I can feel you. 😢
I know I'm dead I'm so scared
I know how you feel....Happy people say be happy just words
Sounds like ambiguous grief. Grieving for something we never had or will have.
Very much resonated. My personal theory is, we carry unresolved feelings of our parents. And they their parents.... unfortunately as children we take these as our own and they become deeply ingrained in our system as we grow up.
I have felt this same thing though out my life. Your advice on doing things that are life giving like healthy foods,good routines, appreciating what's around thats good and not reacting to any impulses is the only way through this. Im very careful these days with who i spend my time and energy on. Home is deep within oneself,finding that peace and serenity is the key to making wise decisions ✨️
I thought I was the only one. Thank you for voicing it-the vague disillisionment, the feeling of imposter syndrome not of competency but of being, that otherwordly longing for an unknown existence and the growing estrangement to all else.
Yeah. It's strange, it's kind of a longing to "go back" where we belong, but to a place that doesn't exist. A place where, if thinking rationally, I've obviously never even been to. It is the most intense of nostalgia for memories that never were, the most intense of grief for family and friends who never lived. How can this feeling be the realest thing ever if it's based on the place and the people most unlikely to exist? The only way the "logical" part of my brain can comprehend it is by seeing myself as some kind of alien who was forcibly taken away from their home world. All I ever wanted was to go back to my people, my home. And aimlessly wandering this cruel, cold and inhospitable world alone, with seemingly no hope of ever finding my way back home is the sickest joke from the universe. I wouldn't wish that empty, meaningless torture on the very worst person who ever lived.
Wow. This is deep. So very articulate. Yes.
@WhatisaLee same here ❤
@@Hubcool367 I feel the same. As a child, I'd look to the stars in the sky with such a deep longing for a place I couldn't remember but knew. Throughout the years I've been able to preoccupy myself with life here on 🌎. But now, both my parents have passed on. And tbh, I'm ready to leave as well. Grief over my mom's recent death has shattered the illusion of this place. And the feeling Dr. Scott describes is only getting stronger.
@@GooniesGirlI'm so sorry 😞 How have you managed to preoccupy yourself? With non-people/connection related stuff? But I really relate. I still have some "close" family left, but to be honest, they feel like complete strangers. At best, we're strangers who have known each other for longer. I realize though that at the very least they're probably the ones who "know me best", that they might be the closest thing to a "real connection" I'll ever have with anyone in this world. Losing them would definitely shatter any trace left of the illusion of belonging I might have still had. I really hope you find someone, something that helps. Dare I say someone, something that finally makes it feel like it wasn't all just a huge and terrible mistake, that it wasn't all completely meaningless? I'll just say that it makes complete sense to me to feel done with a world that feels like it never had a spot for us.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt like I belonged anywhere. I was bullied as a child/teenager, so it began there. Then as an adult, never really had a core group of friends or a community I felt like I was a part of. Sometimes I wish I was born 10 years earlier.
As far as meeting people I never really felt like someone truly understood or saw me for who I was. Which I feel is tied into not feeling like I belong here.
Same for me, I was bullied almost every day starting in kindergarten and all the way throughout school, didn't feel understood by my parents (or girlfriends when I tried to have a relationship), never really had friends (only a few in high school who were also outcasts), only acquaintances nowadays, it's hard to even maintain connections with family members & acquaintances.
I don't know what adult friends do that makes them more than acquaintances.
I envy people who enjoy hobbies like hiking, scuba diving, playing guitar etc. I feel like they are privileged. I feel like I'm so behind on everything that I could never take time away to do something unproductive, I feel like I always have to catch up on work, but I'm always procrastinating (including now).
I recently realized I check all the boxes for depression but I never felt sad, I never felt much of anything & didn't cry since I was a kid, I'm always calm and composed even in situations where others would be shocked (like in a car accident).
Something is wrong with me but I'm not sure what. I thought maybe CPTSD from bullying, but I don't have re-experiencing symptoms like flashbacks, nightmares (I only very rarely have dreams at all), but recently I got triggered when someone said something, then the feelings came back of feeling unwanted, unlovable etc.
I think the bullying caused me to become very stubborn, defensive in arguments and have permanently low self-worth.
My parents also caused me trauma in the first 6 years of my life through physical abuse and neglect, and screaming at me when being overwhelmed etc., which they recently apologized for. I don't have memories about that time but I think that trauma caused vulnerability which set me up to be a bullying victim.
I'm not sure if it makes sense for me to figure out exactly what the right diagnosis for me would be. Part of me was in denial about having trauma or depression. I still don't know for sure if I have trauma because I have a very bad memory for my early childhood, and I can talk about the memories that I do have without getting triggered, in a very calm way as if I'm recounting another story.
Part of me thinks that digging in the past could be a waste of time / form of procrastination.
Maybe I should just focus on self-care and reparenting.
My main goal has always been to have my own family, but it seems I was putting the cart before the horse. It seems I'm lightyears away from that, I first need to fix/reparent myself, before I could raise another child. I don't even have plants or pets right now because taking care of them daily would most likely overwhelm me and I would probably neglect them. I kept telling myself everything would be different if I have my own children, surely my biological urges would kick in and I would take the best care of them and not neglect them (because children are a continuation of me, unlike plants/pets). But when I thought further, how I would teach my children good habits, I realized I could only do that if I'm leading by example, I can't just force my children to obey some structure that I don't follow myself, they would see the hypocrisy.
So many marriages fail because people get married before they're ready, and before they fixed their issues. I almost got married too, but it would have been a disaster in that constellation..
People on the internet always say "don't think so much, just take action in the direction of your goals", and yeah, logically it makes sense, but it feels like there's some step missing, or many steps. It's like that meme about how to draw an owl: Step 1: Draw some circles, Step 2: Draw the rest of the owl. Yeah obviously, that's how effortless every successful person makes it seem (survivorship bias).
On paper I'm very smart so I should be able to figure everything out for myself. Or so I thought. But not every problem is solvable logically, which is counter-intuitive for an engineer like me.
I'm grateful that I discovered the concepts of mindfulness, meditation, journaling, reparenting, self-neutrality, self-compassion, self-acceptance, self-trust, self-respect, self-love. I hope with these tools I can fix myself and accomplish my goal of having a family, before I'm too old. I don't want to keep living a life of regrets..
I think the perpetual isolation cycle happens to avoid rejection and criticism we have learned to expect with c/ptsd
Thanks for being so candid and making yourself vulnerable.
I remember growing up feeling this way and watching other family members dealing with this.
The way you phrased this is spot on, putting in to words this idea and feeling that is so hard to recognize. Many people don't know what they are going through and can't begin to cope with it.
Reading all the comments and so many people here all feeling the same about life but then why is it out in the world i dont meet anyone who seems to suffer with anxiety, depression and feeling like life is just an awful journey. Ive tried to have conversations with coworkers casually mentioning things like depression and they act like they have no idea what im talking about. Like anxiety, depression, disillusionment with life just doesnt seem to exist for people i meet or talk to. It seems like most people are completely asleep going through life, no depth, no self awareness. But then i read everyones comments on these videos but never encounter people like this to relate with in real life.
That's because we aren't participating in "real life" we are in the outskirts away from crowds and mainstream ways of distraction. Sometimes I wish there was an app that was called Social Media for The Ones Who Are Lost or some shit I think the name isn't important because you get what I'm trying to say. I think part of the reason we feel this way is because there is no community established for us. If we had one then we could lessen the suffering by bouncing our thoughts off of each other in a vulnerable and meaningful way. Typing this out feels like a bit of that weight has been lifted but it would feel better to have others around too.
Everyone else seems to be doing fine. If not, they just keep appearing to be fine.
It’s because everyone’s living a façade. Even even on Facebook people only put their best pictures up.
well... this here is an echo chamber. but the physical volume of air enclosed in a virtual network bubble isn't continuous but fragmented around junctions | knots in the former. and not unlike physical matter, if you poke into it, you'll utmost probably only hit the void, maybe see some electrons flying around, maybe glance some indicators for protons (that are too small to see). certainly no strings linking stuff. ('connection' as a delusion from sampling too slowly - cf the 'lines' indicating Brown's molecular motion trajectories).
@@who_we_are______5926I sincerely think that is a really great idea.
I've found as an INFJ, that I am highly ethical and self-controlled. I have high ideals and I see *society's* *move* *against* *spirituality* *and* *toward* *narcissistic* *detachment* *extremely* *unappealing* *to* *me.* It honestly hurts me to see major warnings about world war, climate crisis, hunger and displacement/refugees. What I think is my soul is telling *the* *world* *I* *live* *in* *is* *doomed* and I do not want to participate in the world anymore.
I do not want to live through this.
Note that the same feelings came up in late 1999 and through 2001 *when* *9/11* *happened* *and* *I* *finally* *understood* *what* *the* *premonition* *of* *doom* *was* *in* *my* *soul.*
+1
@@Ayesha_F +2
-1
Damn, that's literally how i see life and why i am not happy to be a part of this world. I don't even know how to feel about it, but thank you for this comment, it made me feel heard and understood.
Lmao your feelings started when my life did. This is all I've ever known.
That being said, I spend more and more of my time in quiet desperation, hoping to find some mentor or some way to make enough money to fund my escape from this culture.
The greatest INFJ curse is how difficult it is to just take action & commit to a plan. I can't stand myself. I did appreciate a lot about myself for a while before I saw how weak it makes me. Now I isolate & hope for a miracle. Worst thing I could possibly do.
This was very important for me to understand right now and I am so grateful for your help and understanding of what you have gone through and the thoughts you have experienced and how much I relate to this in my own life. The coping skills and not being alone is a real relief. Thank you for your vulnerability and support.
You really hit it out of the ball park this time!… just utterly stunned that you “know” of this, this thing whatever it is, it felt like you looked into my head and i will never ever be the same. You sacrificed your inner personal life for us all, and I thank you from the bottom of my soul for your utter strength and the gift with words that you have. I live this, and also when I’m in this state, I treat myself like I’m unwell, I’m very wary of what I do and where I go when I’m in it, as I don’t trust myself to function normally until it passes. Mine too started with an obsession that wouldn’t quit. 45 yrs later, I still battle the surge of this entering my brain yet again. I’m convinced there is no cure. Thank you so much.
I *know* why I do NOT belong. I was the scapegoat in my family. I have moderate ADHD & mild autism -> socially awkward, but outgoing to a point.
Same here buddy
Same
Same here too. Autism is a curse.
I feel the exact same way ~ ADHD, retired, kids gone, divorced from narcissistic abusive husband, and motivation is completely gone!
Yes, same here. 👽
Tbh hearing you vocalize things I’ve never been able to say out loud has made me feel more a part of this world than anything else
Right?!
Exactly!
Yes
Yessss!! So true! To know that someone else has experienced something similar to what I feel
it doesn't feel as lonely knowing others can understand how you feel.
Hiraeth: the feeling of homesickness but for a home you've never had; longing for something but you don't know what. In my youth I used to say "I don't know what I want, but I want it now". For some reason, saying that brought the feeling into perspective and reduced the emotional intensity of it, especially when you see it's shared by so many, all of my social group just understand it when phrased that way. It seems to be part of the human condition.
Cymru am byth ❤
I'm so glad I found your channel. I feel like I'm too sensitive for this world and should have been born a couple hundred years in the future when people are less cruel and more self aware. It also makes me feel like I was put here now to make the world a better place which is a lot of pressure that I am certainly not living up to lol
I found Jesus, I know I don't belong to this world, I am in this world, but not of this world, my sensitivity and empathy makes me feel every emotion and pick up on others emotions. Following Jesus has been the only way to quieten that feeling. It works for me and I've had the miracles and signs.. My mother always tells me I was crying coming out the birth canal, I tell her I was crying to God because I didn't want to come into the world. 50 yrs I felt like I never belonged anywhere or to anything or anyone. Its been 2 months of feeling a lot better by surrendering my fears, anxiety, worry and loneliness onto him. I'm ready for my spiritual walk and to let go of my past. Thank you Lord for revealing yourself to me when I wanted to go to sleep and not wake up.
Where was he?
@@myownpath1046Standing at the door knocking.
You are 100% right , but unfortunately not everyone will come to this understanding.
He is the Potter we are the clay .... Thanks for sharing your thoughts 🙏 its a blessing to hear Jesus working in others.
@@airiksknifereviews9548 so you didn't actually find him then...oh
@@myownpath1046
Međugorje maybe
In almost every single dream that I can recall, I'm somewhere I don't recognize, I'm lost, and I'm trying to find my way home. I can relate.
Sending kindness and love your way 🤍 even though it can be a difficult thing to go through, you are not going through it alone. God bless you friend. Jesus loves you, and cares for you. He gives life abundantly as anyone goes to Him. So know that He is there for you in your struggles
Me also. I have that dream again and again. Trying to find my way home but not finding the way. Bless you.
@@lewing658 God bless you too 🙏 just want to send you kindness and encouragement 🤍
”The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.”
Psalms 23:1-3
Jesus is there for you in the good times and the bad. He loves you
This was so thoughtful, vulnerable and brave if you to share with us. AND so deeply relatable.
Thank you so much
Thank you so much for sharing. It helps me feel "normal". Just entered a "here we go again.....the depression is starting again" for no known reason because each day was the same before and after. It really ticked me off this time because I had recently been told I had 3-5 yrs to live and I didn't get depressed (it turned out to be a mistake thankfully). I decided to fight it with creativity in art. Those feelings are still there slightly but not bad. I am 68 years old and so used to this stuff. I think depression has a life of its own sometimes. I appreciated you saying it was chronic because I have been like this since 12. You are doing a great job here.......don't stop!
For as long as I can remember, I've had obsessions and hyperfixations in almost EXACTLY the same way you described. Fictional characters, musical artists, celebrities, youtubers, people in real life relationships, people who don't know I exist. Spending hours and hours daydreaming about them, thinking about them all the time to the point where I feel like they're “watching” me, looking at everything I do through their eyes, and feeling such incredibly deep sadness when I snap back into reality. For the longest time I just accepted that I must be secretly crazy or delusional. I've consumed so much mental health content over the years, had tons of therapy, struggled with severe anxiety all my life and many depressive episodes. I came across your videos but the one that made me subscribe was the one about the dangers of spending too much time in fantasy worlds. It was so painfully relatable, and I felt the weight of so many years of shame and embarrassment lift ever so slightly. Everything you said, feeling like “I lost everything, but nothing changed,” feeling like I was born in the wrong place, was so on point it was almost scary. I could say so much more about this, but I'll end it here: Thank you so much for being vulnerable, thank you for sharing this “embarassing” part of yourself, because I bet there are so many others like me struggling every day to fight this beast. To anyone reading this who relates, my heart goes out to you ❤️
That's definition for paranoid schizophrenia, I hope you're fine now. I had some of these issues too, but somehow I don't have anymore, but deppressed af about everything and alot of other healthy issues and I don't even know if I want to continue "living" every day is pain and I keep distracted as much from reality (because I know I have alot of problems and I can't do nothing about)
This is exactly how I feel as well, I tried to find something about this feeling but I never really connected with anything and always felt like what I feel is slightly different. I found this video randomly and I'm scared how accurate it is to me and my life. I'm so glad I found this channel and people who feel the same way, hopefully we'll manage to cope with it
I don't think it's paranoia. It's an attempt to escape from shitty family and trauma. My last fixation was Prince .and I crush on actors and musicians all the time..
I’ve had this since I can remember, limerence. It happens all the time still in my 30s, now more often with celebrities, artists, people who I begin to admire and it turns into this obsession. In my life it happened a lot of time with real people, usually those who would treat me as “invisible”. I’ve been depressed since I can remember, 12-13 years old. I’ve felt lonely my entire life, socially awkward, insecure, social and generalized anxiety and chronic depression. I think it all originates from CPTSD and my upbringing, generational trauma. I stil have periods of time when I feel extreme anhedonia and no motivation and it usually coincides with periods where I am having one of these hyperfixations, and then I spend the whole time daydreaming about a different life which I can never have. I am very thankful to you being this honest and vulnerable, I relate to everything you said and it makes me feel less alone and less “weird” knowing there are others experiencing the same as me ❤
This is exactly how I’m feeling and I have no idea how to change it. I want to go out there and be in the world but none of it interests me.
Lonely little question mark
on a bench in the park:
See the people passing by?
See the airplanes in the sky?
See the birds
flying home
before
dark?
Home's just around
the corner
there --
but not really
anywhere.
-Langston Hughes
I totally relate! thank you for saying something that I have never heard anyone say! Please keep sharing! I feel so much less alone.
Bravo, Scott, we need more people like you. You are real, and expressing vulnerability out loud like you do is where the wisdom is born. You are speaking out on behalf of many of the listeners; the residents of the closet, and permitting many to get out of that dark space because it is safe.
Thank you for your bravery and kindness in sharing.
I'm 73 and have NEVER felt I belonged here. Wrong time period, etc. My son feels that way, too. This world is moving way too fast and is no longer for me. TYSM, Dr. Scott, for always keeping it REAL. Rosemarie ❤️
The world moves to fast, i feel that❤. My son of 5 years takes all the time, is slower and the teachers don't like that. But my son is just relaxed. The world wants you to go fast.
When I was a child I was experiencing a similar thing, sometimes after watching a movie I was in a state of grief and overwhelming sadness that I don't belong to that fictional world. I can't really explain it either, but back then I thought to myself it felt like I was very hungry, empty. Once in a while I would burst into tears and tell my mom that something is wrong with me. I've never tried to understand it, but one thing that I know is that I'm an extremely sensitive person, I get emotional very easily, which might have something to do with it. I'm also not very social and struggle with loneliness A LOT.
I used to watch old movies and wished I had lived back then. When I was 16, my family and I moved in with my grandmother on my mom's side and she used to tell me about the good ole days and, again, I had that feeling that I wished I had lived back then. Now, I watch the news and see how times have changed and I still wish I could somehow go back to my grandmother's time. I don't know exactly how to explain it but I just feel like I was born in the wrong time. At least that's how I feel.🤔
Oh man , I emphasize with feeling being “overly sensitive “ and “overly emotional “ in a world that seems to consider such gifts to be liability or weakness. Just remember you’re not alone and not wrong for being the way you are. Peace be with you.
Same here, I think if the world is finally vanished with kindness and support. People just being selfish, greedy, and if u have a power with money that's even worse. Wish I could go back 😪
Did everyone feel like this as a child and not just me then? Cause what you’ve said is verbatim exactly how I’ve felt throughout my life dozens of not hundreds of times
I think the larger percentage of the world is lonely , insecure and full of crap. We all just have to pretend that we’re not.
OMG! I can't believe you! You are so open and vulnerable and HONEST! I LOVE IT!!
Do NOT be ashamed or embarrassed about anything you've said. Every single word you've uttered is Valid and Embraced by me and I'm sure others here.
If you lived in Los Angeles, I'd take you out for a latte and we could talk a "Real Talk".
I am 61 and am living in "The Void" stage of my spiritual awakening & healing - - - alone, isolated, by myself with my thoughts and feelings (ick), disconnected from others but when I do connect it's simple chit-chat which doesn't change a damn thing inside me!
I'm on a Journey and have been for over 31 years now. Part of this journey of HELL and "Self-discovery" has led me to understandings that would make you think I'm crazy. And yeah, I signed up for all this shit before I incarnated on this difficult planet! One of the things I've learned is that I am "Not From Here", yeah, an "extraterrestrial'. This is not my home planet. I say this to you lightly, but some of these feelings could be connected to you also not being "Not From Here". We are known as Starseeds: Souls who have incarnated from other galaxies to help raise the consciousness and awareness of the people here.
Having let that cat outta the bag, being one of these "Lightworker Starseeds" can have a shitload of feelings like the kind you describe you suffer with. I'm just putting it out there. I kinda hope that is not the case with you and that if you just take "this tiny little pill" . . . you'll be fine. But life doesn't work like that.
When the Movie "ET, the Extraterrestrial" came out in the 80's, I was home from college. I saw it with my mom and ended up bawling my fucking eyes out long after the credits rolled. I had to take a walk in our neighborhood just to puke out this sheer utter grief, loneliness and pain. I never told my mom. My parents have never known ANY of my inner hell or struggles. Years later I came to realize my adverse reaction to that lovely movie was due to the fact that --- > I WAS ONE, an E.T.
A handful of years ago, I was working in Hollywood and ran into Dee Wallace who played Mary, the mother in the movie. I summoned the courage to tell her my story thinking she would think I was a wack job. After I told her, she nonchalantly replied . . . "Oh yeah, a lot of people found out that way."; meaning, they realized they were "Not From Here" after watching Spielberg's movie.
. . . maybe you are? maybe you're not. I'm just throwing it out there as someone who cares about you.
😢wow thankyou so much for sharing this here it really helps for the longest time i though something was defenetly wrong with me and these undescribable feelingss here reading these comments of people feeling the same makes me a feel little at peace i am just 18 but have struggled with this since i was 15.....if we all came together to talk about this it would be really helpful for people like us ❤
I’ve had depression and anxiety for years. Just recently I’ve noticed I’m feeling more and more apathy towards everything. I’ve been unhappy with my life circumstances for a long time and it’s almost like I’ve accepted that now and that’s how it is and will be. It’s not distressing me anywhere near like it used to, but I now feel like I don’t care about anything.
I have just about enough motivation to go to work and that’s it.
insane. i feel exactly the same! never thought i would finally find someone who can relate with me 100% --> school8330
i wish you the same i wish for me: to find a meaning.
❤🙏🏻
This happened to me, I stopped caring about anything and suddenly nothing could hurt me. But trust me, continuing down that road leads to an empty void. I remember when I reached the end, like I finally didn't care anymore, I felt nothing at all, and I wondered 'what next? where do I go from here?' and realized I had to go back. But I'm still pretty much stuck there. I just want you to know that though apathy can appear to protect you, it's actually the most dangerous thing because it will take everything away. It's like dying without dying. In my case, I did it on purpose. I ran away from it all mentally. Idk about you though.
I don't even have motivation to do that much. Used to have a good paying job for where I live, but it was literally killing me to work it. I'd end up in hospital a couple times a year. All my doctors would tell me I needed to quit and find something else. Eventually it came to that anyway after being off work too long. Three years later I'm finally getting back to a point where I could possibly go back to work, but at nowhere near the level I was before. Not many options where I live and most don't pay or would put me back in the hospital in short order.
That's still ok. I have no motivation to go to work at all. No motivation to find a job.
I'm semi retired ..let upstairs love love it ..the relief of not dealing with petty office politics and bullying. But I am unmotivated and need more structure ..just can't be asked..
I sobbed watching this. You managed to make a whole video on the feelings I've had for about 15 years but never had the right words to describe it. Thank you for this, Dr. Scott. Thank you so much
I feel like I SHOULD have been able to cry now for many years. Yet, I'm severely STUCK in anhedonia. I've lost all optimism or "imagination of a good future". I OFTEN think that I need to cry out all kinds of crap. Yet, despite many years of therapy and more, I (so far) simply CANNOT cry out anything. It's VERY frustrating.
But, I DO absolutely feel that this doctor is correct about saying that SOCIETY is what is completely broken. Our brains automatically build complete "sets" of feelings, which kind of keep track of how we "are" in life. I think that SOCIETY has had so many crappy "inputs" to us, that many of us are just broken now. We "see" that modern life just plain old SUCKS. It's like we become fully aware that we ARE just locked in a cage of sorts. We're IN A ZOO... and we can't get out.
Same here my friend😢
I wanted to as well but after just having a mental break down less than an hour ago I couldn’t muster up any tears
I resonate deeply with this! And congratulations for being brave enough to post it!! You are amazing! Don't be ashamed, your Soul was obviously ready to address this, and for others who needed to hear it, it was a God send!
Technically, none of us belong here. Who we really are, lives somewhere else. This version of us is just "away at school" learning and evolving. Perhaps there are enough holes in our veils that we remember past lives, when maybe times were better, or easier? Perhaps enough that we miss home and long for the love that's there? Perhaps it's a tool to help us find the ultimate love inside ourselves? Or perhaps a million other things!
As far as haters go, remember, we're all mirrors for each other. Haters generally hate because they've hidden parts of themselves away in shame and pain, and certain things just trigger them. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with you! Don't they say you can't truly hate what you didn't once love?
Thank you for sharing! I've never heard better first hand experience of a similar nature to what I've been going through. This really is helpful!
This posted 7 hours ago from when I watched it. It has 733 like right now. That's over 100 likes each hour. Imagine meeting 100 people each hour for 7 hours who said - I know how this feels too. Thank you for your openness.
Im 67, and I still feel that way. Ive been married 3 times, persued several careers, owned a successful bussness, gone back to college, gone on a spiritual journey. And here I still am.
Yeah, because we seek something that’s not tangible, you can’t see, touch or feel it…
Perhaps, no such thing exist, but we were taught that there’s something to find, a void to fill.
Good to know that I didn't miss out on anything.
So, nothing helps?
@@lambtypeguy-cd4tp I think it’s like hunger, you eat, get satiated, but you will get hungry again…… everything is temporary, the good and the bad
Peace - I am glad I read your post - it gave me perspective to ponder more. What i feel is you have come full circle and have been able to experience things many never will get or take the chance to( as we are told in this life) and you are still here in the body as yourself (Maybe you thought you'd feel or be different i assume ) but I see it as a great story. You got 3 chances at loving people to commit to you in marriage ( hopefully you had some love in them). You as a woman have had successful business's, (women are craving for that for their independence) you were able to get an education ( some feel they could never go back to college) - you've had more than one career to discover and you had time to go on a spiritual journey (most have to quit work or get sick to do). Although I believe our whole life is a spiritual journey we just get caught in the material systems. SO, thanks for sharing and keep going we all get tired and feel lonely at times in our lifetime but if you can do this, you can rest, reset and go on another "journey" while you still can. Life is an experience and I hope people can really feel love and joy and strength as much as possible. Even if it's a great cup of hot coffee!! Everyday. Blessings
Excellent! Thank you for opening up. I'm 61 and have never understood this feeling and you described it so well. Omg, this is exciting and break through!
I've spent my life healing others to distract myself from that exact feeling. Its the most isolating, lonely place to be. Thank you so much for sharing. It does really help to know I'm not alone x
Every "role" I try on for my future self in my mind, like being a pro, or a wife, or a mom looks fake to me. Can't picture any scenario where I'd feel "at home", hence don't know where to go. My friends say that I think too much, maybe they're right.
Hope I'll find some answers in this video
It's possible that once you commit to something it will remove many of the other options. So you'll have incentive to make your choice be the right one. I also kept my options open when I was young. Then I never could decide on one. Too many choices.
That feeling of 'too much' might be you are a hyper-sensitive person, or on the spectrum, or Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, or ADHD.
Don't let people gaslight you on who you are, or make you feel like you should tone down.
Keep watching Dr Scott.
@@scottys1423 thanks for sharing! I hope that will be the way to solve this puzzle
@@marywiggins7411 thank you🙏 will definitely keep watching!
To an extentent all future scenarios are going feel like that because they aren't familiar. There will always be unknowns when thinking about the future. Our lives change as we move through them. Whatever we do will require adjusting to the change.
There are a number of books about helping people decide on a career path. A popular one is What Color is Your Parachute?. I do wish you luck.
I live in South Africa. I have been diagnosed with BPD... eventually by three psychologists. I'm now 32. I don't feel my age. I wish I had you as my psychologist. I can't even afford a psychologist. I experienced a lot of trauma in childhood. I have been on meds since about the age of 13. Ocd, anorexia, self-harm, etc. I had a report card at school saying something along the lines of "my emotions getting in the way of my academics." I was once thriving academically. I ended up matriculating in a home school. I wasted so much of my parents ' money on a variety of courses that I didn't end up completing. Now I'm stuck without electricity ( borrowing power from the neighbors) to charge phones etc. No job, no purpose, a longing to go back and try again. At the same time when I try to integrate with people too much I feel emotionally grated....like wounded
@AmyCoomer i 1 million % get you, the childhood trauma, my report cards at school sort of said same kinda things, about me, i went through eating disorder issues, a whole life of self harm etc, i just want you to know,
YOU ARE NOT ALONE,
Hey fellow South African. I'm sorry that you feel this way. I'm sorry about your struggles.
Getting help is the first step. My brother has been getting his meds from a gov hospital. They've given him his life back. Dunno which province you're in. But try. Please.
Sending you love💫❤
@@feels.9304 I get my meds from King George/King Dinizulu in Durban. Wish they had some professional psychiatrists. Thanks for reaching out
@@MeekaYammi-xo2hr thank you for sharing. ❤️
Find Tim Fletcher from Canada. He’s got many free YT videos to learn how to dig yourself out and
Re-Parenting yourself. But it’s INNER winner work that needs to be done. Learn how to help your hormones with free visors from Dr Andrew Huberman and Dr Daniel Amen
I have always felt like I did not belong here. Something I'm my heart tells me there is so much more to the Universe than we can humanly perceive. When I sleep I am sent to other realities that make me just as 'Alive' as I am in this life. Even more so.
Its nice to finally hear someone understand what i feel. It was like watching myself talk. Glad you made this and it showed up for me
I am 43 now and have the same but i am not depressed....
I change my life 10 years ago and have no tv, social media, feel different then others but not better or superior...
People are programmed robot slaves of the system thinking happyness starts with extern factors like status, money, material things that means nothing and its relativ and an illusion create by society.
If your happyness depend on extern factors you will never be because extern factors are endless.
Happyness starts inside you.
The more people around you, the more expectations, talk about others, lying, frustrations, negativity, jealousy, hate, opinions, judging, comparing, own benefits, double standards etc....reflection of their broken souls.
Alone or in solitude you have more strength, peace, power, happyness, freedom and time.
Be the light in your own life.
We come alone and goes alone and in between we are all guests
I'm also 43 and redding your advice❤. I have a son of 5 years, how do i learn to him?
After reading these comments, I think the conflict is there are people who are okay with the status quo and others who are more conscientious and thoughtful. The thoughtful people are few and have a hard time finding each other, so they end up feeling lonely.
@@aggiesart6 hey beautifull soul
Yeah its "difficult" to learn children the way we see the world because society brainwashed or programmed children/ people the way they want with their agenda ...but find balance and be the example.....they will copy (or not) your way of thinking and living.
But it depends on many factors....every human walk their path in life and learn....
@@user-kr2ty9vk5n thats right and there is no good or bad.....end of the day do what makes you happy. Happyness is relativ. Definition of meanings also ....we learn in live
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always asked, “Where Do I Belong?” I never felt at home anywhere. I have this longing to leave my body and to go back into the Universe. I’ve tried to find ways to make this feeling go away, but it doesn’t go away. I just mask it. I don’t know if this feeling will ever go away.
I hear that … where am I? And where is it I’m comfortable? This place is alien to me! And nowadays, all the people in it as well.
I don’t think the feeling ever goes away but there is different degrees to it! I hope that makes sense. I never feel as if I belong but the longing to leave isn’t as severe as other times!
When you said " if you have this I am so sorry" I felt that. Thank you for this episode, because for a very long time I though I am the only person who felt this way. I ' ve felt every single thing you've said and I never bothered explaining it to any one cz I never believed any one would get it. Your advice on how to handle this is very valuable. Thank you for posting this
This cats the real deal. He gets it and isn’t afraid to share it. At 63 I’ve been to so many therapists that put up a wall between patient and client.
Never trusted them.
Better late than never finding a channel with this much honesty.
Keep it up kid ❤👍🏾🤙🏽
From early childhood to now (especially) in my 50s--and still perpetually alone and single--I've never felt like I belonged. And that's both a blessing--to not conform to stereotypes and cliques--and a curse....because I'm STILL alone.
At 62 years old I knew through experience that I probably wasn’t the only one who felt this way. But I had no idea how to articulate it. You have articulated it. I feel truly seen for the first time in my life. Now I feel like we need a support group for it.
Imagine feeling this way and being so broke at 60 you have to start a new job again? The whole 18 year old looking for a job feel.
I’d rather have a shit ton of emptiness and have money .
Don't ruin the experience with other people.
Thank you Dr Scott, I stumbled onto your channel a few days ago. I'm from South Africa and so much you share resonate. Thank you for your vonerability and sharing I am glad to know I'm not alone.
Giving you thats also passing through this a big warm hug ❤ we aren't alone ❤
When you said you had wanted a relationship with a game character that hit me hard because it reminded me of myself. Ever since I started reading books, I've wished I can be part of the story I'm reading about. Be a character in the book. Be part of the world. Join the other characters and talk with them. Meet them. As a kid, I turned that into playing. I would pretend I am the character in this world, I can do this and that... As I got older, that habit developed into writing. So now I invent my own characters in my own worlds... and deep in my heart I still want to escape into them, knowing it's not possible. But at least I can use this longing to do something creative. I imagine the situations and I write about them. We'll see. Maybe all these fragments will become a book one day... Something I can publish and be proud of ☺
Sometimes I grieve the ending of a TV series or a great book. Not sure if it's because I identify with a character or it brought me comfort or relief. And when I know it's coming to the end I start to feel dread.
@@leannechristianson5218Yeah, I know this feeling 🙂 When I'm watching the last episode or reading the last pages, I often put off finishing it till later, because I need some time to handle the feeling I have to "let the characters go". I often watch or read the same series multiple times because of the connection I feel to the characters 😇
You described that feeling so good, I feel exactly the same! Love reading and watching movies because it is kind of an escape from this reality for couple of hours. I just want to be in this different world and be the character. Feel so lost and unexcited in this world…
I have been feeling the same for a fictional character for the past one year. I joined fandoms on Tumblr, and wrote fanfiction about them to quench my obsession. It has calmed down to a considerable extent but there are still days of flare up and I end up writing more. It had reached a point where I would daydream about them all the time, creating scenes in my head even during work.
This whole statement is the exact way I have been as well.
I’m 59 and a grumpy, nihilistic atheist, sober alcoholic. I heard this quote from Daniel Dennett: “The secret of happiness is: Find something more important than you are and dedicate your life to it.” Simple, of course, but not easy. However, it points true north and I try to follow it.
Sounds very 12 step. I’ve never found that “greater than yourself” stuff to help. Maybe I’m not embracing it correctly.
At first I wanted to meet you just to connect with another nihilist but it might go against my one goal to contribute to the world. Starting with my presence. My bad attitude can be palpable.
@@TheLoneMitten Ha. Me too. As I'm also 59, nihilistic and am literally right now drinking tea from a mug that states 'Grumpy Man'. But you are right. As self aware folk, the tidal wave of negativity and bad attitude that you, I and @ToddSmith1 could generate if we met is without precedent. However, our new podcast 'The Grumpy Men' (assuming, of course that you are male) would probably be quite entertaining.
I'm 61 and got sober when covid hit. I was at deaths door and it took 4 detox attempts and a year in patient treatment. 3 years later I'm just occasionally having days when I don't think about a drink or even that I'm sober. Just kinda being me! Just Tim. It's weird. This is a total emotional and physical rebuild out at 61. On one hand it's daunting. On the other it's a golden opportunity. Just depends what day it is. Or hour. But no question 45 years of steady to very hard drinking stunted everything. Starting over here. Good luck to you. I get it.
@@timothyslaughter476I watched the morgues fill to capacity with the stench of rotting flesh nearby having worked in a hospital during Covid. Been sober, or more accurately dry, since 1997 and I’m 60 now. I looked at the deceased and sometimes wished it was me.
Thank you for sharing how difficult your life has been (and still is), and for sharing what has helped you to help us who struggle similarly. Although I've had depression (undiagnosed autism, alexithymia and anhedonia) since childhood I never KNEW to label myself as mentally ill. That mentally ill people rarely enjoy life and have to "work" to maintain their mental health was a profound moment of truth that brought an intense feeling of relief. Thank you very much for your compassion.
Thanks for being so candid. Unfortunately, it resonates with me profoundly. I really appreciate your foray into putting it in words. Thank you.
We moved when I was 15 from a town of 1,800 ppl, to a city of 230,000 ppl. I had an awesome childhood. Now I'm 46, and I've felt that my life and path is wrong since that move @ 15. I'm a true believer that people are destined for a certain life path, and when things change, or wrong life decisions are made, we go down a path that we weren't meant to live, hence these feelings of not belonging, or the wrong path. I don't believe life is all up to chance. Some ppl find their path and place in this world. Others like us are on the wrong road in life. That's why we feel like everything is wrong. Because it is!!
I feel my life took a huge turn for the worst when I moved to a new state with my family when I was 18. I honestly feel if I would have stayed in my home state my life could have been much better. I appreciate your comment because I’ve never heard anyone mention about people taking the wrong path. Ive been trying accept where I am at the moment but feeling a strong pull for dramatic change because I am 43 now and I realize time is running out but I still have hope that things can get better but ever since I moved every job and and relationship I’ve had just doesn’t work out no matter how hard I try and I barely made any friends.
I’m 62. I’ve felt like i don’t belong in this world since i was age 5. I felt ill about how many people were starving in other countries. I had mood swings. I always felt like i should live on another planet - a kinder place, where things were fair. As a young teen, I heard Jimi Hendrix music. His guitar sounded like the noise in my head and the lyrics in many of his songs sounded just like my thoughts. He was already dead. I was convinced that he was my angel. I was sure he would swoop down and save me and bring me to his planet. So I am really grateful for this video! People never talked about that stuff. When i tried to describe my suicidal depression, people backed away as if i had leprosy. I’ve lived a “successful” life as a writer, painter, graphic designer. I have very good friends who don’t share those feelings but know that i have them. I have times when i feel ok, content even. But I miss the euphoria i could access only with drugs. Got sober in ‘88 bcoz drugs & alcohol stopped working - as they do. I’m listening to more of your videos today. Thank you again for this one!!! xoxo If you’re ever in Manhattan i’d love to meet you for a cuppa coffee!!
Thank you. this was refreshing, and authentic. It makes sense, and you are brave. it will be helpful to many. We all go through rough patches in life, and those times can feel unexplainable. You, trying to work out the knots here w/ us is helpful to many of us. Thanks again.
Dude! You're super brave for sharing this! Mad respect for you!
It is no measure of good health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." (This quote has helped me a lot throughout the times of feeling the way you have described, Thanks ❤
I know that quote well...but living in a profoundly sick society, which it is in usa, is hardly comforting.
I've been trying to remember the wording of that quote all evening. THANK YOU for posting it here!! :)
@@rebeccar4312many people are leaving the USA to live abroad and feel a real connection to other Societies. I think I would also.
Was that J Krishnamurti?
Was that J Krishnamurti?
I don't feel exactly the same but I do feel like I don't belong here and I never really have. I feel like my perspective, my identity, my authenticity, my creativity, my ideas are all at least for the most part completely unwelcome in this cruel world. Everywhere I go, it seems like no one wants me around for very long. I'm just an outcast. And there's no end in sight. The only thing that makes me feel better is making art and music. But it's bittersweet because it seems like hardly anyone truly values that.
The art you make u should enjoy first and not others, others enjoying it is just a complement to it, whatever that art may be or creation, and what u described here is what i also feel like and i think other people too as i have noticed but also i kinda doubt it
I hear you and feel like you do too.Art and music are my medicine .
Art and music the only things that made me still going in this earth.
That last bit made me cry. I don't need solutions from the people I confide in, I want to be seen. 'I'm so sorry you're feeling this way' said genuinely. Thank you for this video
I LOVE what you shared. THANK YOU!