THIS ONE GOT ME! Videographer REACTS to Ren "Troubles" - FIRST TIME REACTION

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  • čas přidán 8. 05. 2024
  • He had a few bars in here that really stopped me in my tracks! #reaction #music #reactionvideo #musicreactions #ren
    Ren - Troubles: • Ren - Troubles
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Komentáře • 167

  • @iancollins65
    @iancollins65 Před 12 dny +17

    I love how the last caption on the screen is the word “hope”. If you remember in “Hi Ren” there is the line “some people know me as hope.” It’s as if he is signing a letter as “hope”. He is the hope for all that suffer in the dark. He calls them the missing. He is a hope for the missing.

    • @eljaruben
      @eljaruben Před 9 dny

      People with ME call themselves the millions missing so I suspect that's why he chose "missing “. If you check #MillionsMissing, you'll see a lot of people trying to raise awareness. People have been fighting for decades to get care. I am so grateful Ren uses his talent and platform for us

    • @rebeccaburnell9319
      @rebeccaburnell9319 Před 7 dny +1

      oh, I love this interpretation.

  • @kathiloadholt
    @kathiloadholt Před 13 dny +39

    He’s a messenger for all of us. Love him.

  • @gwynzyful
    @gwynzyful Před 13 dny +19

    In case no one has said it- it was just him and his buddy Josh! Josh filmed it. Ren’s patreon is awesome. Lol

  • @meggsy82
    @meggsy82 Před 13 dny +30

    This may be the best thing Ren has ever done. The emotions and the bars are unmatched.

    • @joeesparks7
      @joeesparks7  Před 13 dny +9

      Unmatched indeed...I was able to understand with a few key bars and made me really re-appreciate his perseverance 👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽❤️❤️❤️

  • @davidcook7301
    @davidcook7301 Před 13 dny +10

    Boston Pizza is a Canadian company. That might be one of the original locations in Calgary.

  • @coltdavis3813
    @coltdavis3813 Před 13 dny +22

    Ren out here making all the avengers tear up! This is what i love to see and its what makes Ren so damn special. Even if you can't fully relate to his struggles, everyone's gone through some shit, giving everyone the ability to pull some HOPE from this.

    • @Threadbow
      @Threadbow Před 11 dny +3

      That touches my heart too,seeing him react and choke up
      Taking the time and care to read the words Ren put as a message of #HOPE

  • @mothermaclean
    @mothermaclean Před 13 dny +18

    This song has given me a little hope in my term oil with fibromyalgia I feel like given up on life almost every day ren is keeping me fighting, his chapters are amazing and heart breaking at times and this song made me cry with joy, hope and made me find a little hope

  • @sonicfear4472
    @sonicfear4472 Před 13 dny +37

    After having listened to Ren's Chapter Series Intently and multiple times, this track just encapsulates his story so well and serves as musical accompaniment for The Chapters. Ren's experiences are very familiar to me to say the least, as is often the case with many of his supporters. Ren's success is so deserved and I do truly hope it continues. Ren is the medicine many of us need. So raw and vibrant in color, combined with his naturally emotive performance! Indeed Ren....Your Limo has finally arrived.

    • @joeesparks7
      @joeesparks7  Před 13 dny +10

      Yeah I can only imagine...I will watch them I just need to be a wee bit less busy lol thank u for watching

    • @Bethany0420
      @Bethany0420 Před 13 dny +5

      ​@@joeesparks7 When you have time to watch all the chapters, I'd suggest coming back to this song. It hits even deeper after watching all the chapters since you'll have more understanding of his personal story and struggles. Love your reactions and your willingness to show your true emotions ❤

    • @cathywethington5913
      @cathywethington5913 Před 3 dny

      The medicine for some of us who didn't even realize we still needed relief

  • @adrienne1958l
    @adrienne1958l Před 12 dny +2

    Thank you for being willing to go there with us❤ keep hope alive ❤

  • @motess5304
    @motess5304 Před 13 dny +8

    The Missing Chapters(8 of them) are really amazing to listen, hear, and understand. Truly brings context and clarity to this track.

  • @salishseamermaid
    @salishseamermaid Před 13 dny +7

    A resurrection story for the ages.

  • @robynparker9263
    @robynparker9263 Před 13 dny +28

    I just noticed that at the end of each cut, his hands are in a certain placement, and in the start of the next cut, his hands are in the same position. It allows visual flow, pulling your eyes from one cut to the next. Love it!

  • @joshuawiedenbeck6944
    @joshuawiedenbeck6944 Před 13 dny +44

    Ren forgiving God is huge. As a Christian, I know it's not theologically correct to think God needs our forgiveness. But Ren was in such a dark place for so long that him deciding to forgive God is a massive step in his mental healing. Ren is deciding to turn the page and start a new chapter in his life. He has purpose now.

    • @webcrawler2007
      @webcrawler2007 Před 9 dny +2

      Might not be theologically correct, but it is morally correct to perceive that if God is a good being, he would be looking for forgiveness for all the pain, hurt and evil he has caused for thousands of years of human history

    • @joshuawiedenbeck6944
      @joshuawiedenbeck6944 Před 9 dny +1

      @@webcrawler2007 Yeah, the theology is a lot deeper than that. But I understand the sentiment. Mortal beings trying to understand beings that have capabilities outside of our understanding leads to a lot of questionable interpretations of intent.

    • @ughok456
      @ughok456 Před 8 dny

      As a former christian, we should all grow out of our imaginary friends. I hope Ren doesn’t regress.

    • @joshuawiedenbeck6944
      @joshuawiedenbeck6944 Před 8 dny +1

      @ughok456 To each his own. Believe whatever you want. Just don't try to force everyone else into exactly what you believe.

    • @ughok456
      @ughok456 Před 8 dny

      @@joshuawiedenbeck6944 you mean the same way your cult indoctrinates children from a young age? How about we don’t talk to anyone about religion until they’re 30, then one day we turn up and say oh by the way god exists? Think anyone would convert? Religion is a cancer in modern society, it causes division and has directly resulted in oppression, homicide and the slowed progression of the human race for thousands of years.

  • @rudyb.
    @rudyb. Před 13 dny +21

    “Life is Beautiful now…”, I’m so happy for Ren. My hope for him is one day he will be Pain Free. Thank you for your beautiful reaction.

  • @Markerman_642
    @Markerman_642 Před 13 dny +17

    It’s so bittersweet but we know Joe’s suicide probably is what saved REN’s life. Because he was about to go through JOB like tribulations and likely would have committed suicide. But Joe’s loss clipped his wing as he said and so couldn’t fly to where Joe is at. And to know he’s not fully recovered but he’s getting so much more healthy.

  • @Mancjorot
    @Mancjorot Před 13 dny +19

    Thank you Joe E it was bittersweet sharing this piece of art with you all, it's been an emotional week leading up to this and I knew it would choke you too being the beautiful empath you are. Ren's penmanship and candidness could illuminate the darkest of hearts though.
    Much love, light and healing to anyone reading this who has fallen down the cracks.
    #millionsmissing

  • @sylv772
    @sylv772 Před 13 dny +18

    The chapters are heartbreaking, but you emerge from them with such profound empathy for him and others like him that something changes in yourself (at least that is how they affected me).

    • @celinel9750
      @celinel9750 Před 13 dny +2

      Totaly agree.

    • @ancltube
      @ancltube Před 13 dny +3

      Yes. Before listening to them I knew about the conditions by name. After I feel that I understand what people that suffer with these illnesses are going through. It opened my eyes!

  • @alexiaspaedt-mcintosh5311
    @alexiaspaedt-mcintosh5311 Před 13 dny +18

    So good! Chokes me up especially after listening to all his chapters before this! Thanks Joe E for doing this and being such a compassionate guy!

    • @joeesparks7
      @joeesparks7  Před 13 dny +5

      Thanks for watching HomeTeam👊🏽 I'm just trying to be authentic0👊🏽

  • @Shiroar
    @Shiroar Před 13 dny +13

    With great power comes great responsibility, and Ren is truly a hero! He has said that he always had this feeling that he was meant to change the world for the better. So much that he yelled his defiance to evil into an empty room. And then he got sick…
    Ren has now shared the full story of his health journey in 8 video chapters leading up to the release of this song and what a journey it has been. If anyone hasn’t already watched them, I highly recommend you do. With all the chapters he is showing immense strength in sharing his story that is so hard to tell, being vulnerable and telling it because he hopes it will help others and raise awareness. And here he is with another edition of that story, now told through music and with a message of hope. A beautiful hero that the world needs ❤️🐰🕳️

  • @shazza175
    @shazza175 Před 6 dny +1

    He's still in Calgary. He shot this with Josh on camera. 🫂🫂🫂

  • @jasonkart1651
    @jasonkart1651 Před 13 dny +17

    Josh filmed it. Ren posted a short bts on his patreon last night.

  • @lorihutcheon5363
    @lorihutcheon5363 Před 13 dny +5

    Incredibly blessed to be sharing the universe with my precious Angel Ren🙏💝
    Thank you for your beautiful heartfelt reaction…respect👍🏼

  • @michaelphipps8647
    @michaelphipps8647 Před 12 dny +10

    Ren's story of Survival, Hope & Victory! So inspiring!

  • @Lou-xq9br
    @Lou-xq9br Před 9 dny +1

    #ren #troubles #verahall #lymedisease ❣️
    Ren is just outstanding 💗
    Our inspirational angel of hope 🙏🖤

  • @Veeliscious
    @Veeliscious Před 12 dny +3

    BP likened Ren to Job in the Bible. I certainly believe Ren is here for a higher purpose, an Angel of our times - and I believe Ren knows it deep down too "I was made to be tested & twisted" so that he can shine his Light to bring hope, inspiration, connection & awareness to all these conditions where so many thousands of people get lost & go Missing in the darkness...

  • @celinel9750
    @celinel9750 Před 13 dny +6

    Watch those Chapter, DON'T react to it, do it for you. It is guts wranching but also full of hope. Take Care of you.

  • @esmepoms
    @esmepoms Před 13 dny +13

    We are so blessed that he is still with us making this magic.

  • @donald1379
    @donald1379 Před 13 dny +2

    A song of hope Ren is so so so special his music touches deep❤.

  • @denalinde
    @denalinde Před 13 dny +31

    Music is Ren’s higher power. I believe god speaks to & through Ren via his music. 💜

  • @iamsquatty
    @iamsquatty Před 13 dny +32

    Ive listened to this a few times now and just caught the fact he said "bed tomb" instead of "bedroom" 🥺 ren 💜💜💜

  • @im2yz4u17
    @im2yz4u17 Před 13 dny +23

    Ren is proof of the goodness inside us is real; we only need to express it.

  • @woodywoodman2319
    @woodywoodman2319 Před 13 dny +13

    For those who haven't yet... ya Gotta watch his story... all 8 chapters! (Troubles Playlist!)
    [Must See!!!]
    His lyrics are Truly His Story... "clawed at the laminate"... I mean Come On Man!!!

  • @dottedlinewent
    @dottedlinewent Před 11 dny +2

    “Brain in the Lion’s Den and Body in the Shark Pit” makes me think that no matter on land or sea nothing he does could give him and escape from feeling hunted, like a target on him somehow, which I relate to having been dealing with some undiagnosed chronic illness the past year and a half. I cannot imagine 8 years of what I’ve been through in the last 18 months. This song gave me hope, because if he can get help maybe I can too

    • @Threadbow
      @Threadbow Před 11 dny +2

      Keep fighting for that dr that can help you

  • @Bonjovicrzy
    @Bonjovicrzy Před 7 dny +1

    Ren is a gift this is so beautiful, and has a deep message , Ren had to write his Chapters and song Troubles to give a message of hope for others but to have peace and move on to the next chapter of his life and I hope it is a good one in health and music he deserves this Fly High Ren ! We all love you... I was so touched I made a donation to the ME and the Lyme disease foundations in Ren's name as an inspiration ..

  • @arielbussart1305
    @arielbussart1305 Před 12 dny +1

    Ren bein out here practicing what he preaches! Keep being kind humans and lifting people up in the ways you know how to! #hope

  • @Little_Alien_Lost
    @Little_Alien_Lost Před 9 dny +1

    I found Ren just as my symptoms became so severe that I started to seek out medical care. I hadn't yet begun to run the gauntlet that is the American Healthcare System. He has served as something of a tour guide on my journey because the man tells no lies. I have encountered every single obstacle that he has warned me would be coming, plus a few extras just because I am a woman and that adds a whole extra level of BS to the pile when dealing with doctors. Ren has never failed me and it is only because he is teaching me how to deal with the process that I haven't completely given up. This song dropped at exactly the right moment for me, as I just ran into another huge obstacle that is putting everything on hold. I'm stuck at an absolute standstill with seeking out answers until insurance gets straightened out. I was feeling rather hopeless...and here comes Ren with exactly the right words, at exactly the right moment. Literally, verbatim, telling me not to give up hope. Serendipity is strong with this one. Kid has saved my life and sanity so many times on this journey and he doesn't even know it. There must be so many other people just like me, feeling exactly the same way. If any of you are reading this right now, hang in there. It took Ren years to get here. It might take a really long time but, we can do it, too.
    Joe, I love you bunches. I always look forward to your reactions. I love how you feel music and I absolutely love your insight on the video/filming aspect because I don't know anything about it. (Do we still even call any of it "filming" or am I just old AF? 🤣)

  • @momstin58
    @momstin58 Před 13 dny +9

    So glad his life is better now; he deserves all the goodness and happiness in the world. He's such a beautiful soul. 💜💜

  • @kiwatts
    @kiwatts Před 12 dny +2

    Ren speaks for those who can't, He collects those who can, and together we all will rise!

  • @SandraP3796
    @SandraP3796 Před 5 dny

    Ren is the Messenger of Hope for people like me who are suffering everyday. Love your breakdowns. Thanks Joe E

  • @darlinesly9364
    @darlinesly9364 Před 12 dny +1

    Everyone should go to Renmakesstuff and listen to his chapters one at a time. He takes you through every painful struggle to try to emerge with some balance, wholeness and peace. It gives back story on things that have come out in his music. Very impactful and absolutely worth the listen. Not really meant for reaction. I think better as a solo journey just as his journey was during much of this long and painful struggle. As always , much love and thanks to Ren and to all the reactors .

  • @emiliechmiel2214
    @emiliechmiel2214 Před 13 dny +6

    If you feel this way watching this, grab Kleenex and go watch his 8 chapters ( I think it not something you would react to though) you will cry. I cried every day. It reached In and grabbed my heart. I felt for him and for the people who still suffer daily

  • @helenajrgensen3157
    @helenajrgensen3157 Před 13 dny +4

    No words other than this is a track for both tears and smile 🙏❤ - love you. love Ren

  • @callmeeley
    @callmeeley Před 12 dny +1

    Awesome, got chills, happy for him, crying for him but so hopeful, Ren for no 1 come on ❤

  • @dawnpatterson8708
    @dawnpatterson8708 Před 13 dny +13

    HERE for THIS and YOU.😉

  • @toria-j
    @toria-j Před 13 dny +3

    Totally respect what you say about being in the right mindset. You need to be. Most chapters hit like a brick. He has a way with words; he's quite explicit in some retellings, but leaves you to fill the gaps in others. My chest hurt afterwards, every time except the last.
    Personally, I think that they don't need reactions, but they give more depth to his story.
    Look after yourself. Take that time. Take care. x

  • @marianneszijj3362
    @marianneszijj3362 Před 12 dny +1

    💔❤️‍🩹❤️ Love to you JoeEEEEE! You sound like a great dad… and thanks for always showcasing and honoring Ren’s misical works of brilliance. His buddy, Josh filmed this one and also the Nas tribute.

  • @Paramedic794
    @Paramedic794 Před 8 dny +1

    Thank ya Joe E. , awesome breakdown reaction, I feel ya! It’s a special message of hope from Ren!!! Thanks again , love ya brother!

  • @yilomina2047
    @yilomina2047 Před 12 dny +1

    The chapters are soooo worthwhile. Thanks for a great reaction, this one is important!

  • @mrdarengilbert3907
    @mrdarengilbert3907 Před 11 dny +3

    You didn’t miss bro
    Love and respect
    I hope you keep moving forward
    Thank you
    🙏

  • @gurulimbo
    @gurulimbo Před 12 dny +1

    #Ren the #Informer in #Snow

  • @pepinosylvie8887
    @pepinosylvie8887 Před 7 dny +2

    Love your reaction man 👍 very deep, just great 😍 Thanks 😘

  • @davidholwell2060
    @davidholwell2060 Před 12 dny +1

    Another wonderful reaction. This is what puts you in my top five reactors. Understanding and empathy you have in abundance.

  • @Jaybird1974
    @Jaybird1974 Před 13 dny +5

    Calgary, AB 🇨🇦 🙌😎

  • @sorenm.lairdsorries7547
    @sorenm.lairdsorries7547 Před 13 dny +9

    Thank you 🙏🤍 Joe E 🖤 for your 🐷 Ren - Troubles reaction! #ren #verahall #troublesohard #troubles #slaughterhouse #calgary

    • @joeesparks7
      @joeesparks7  Před 13 dny +2

      Thank u for watching my reaction Soren👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽💯💯💯

    • @sorenm.lairdsorries7547
      @sorenm.lairdsorries7547 Před 13 dny

      @@joeesparks7 It was a party in the chat! ❤❤❤

  • @chrisbeleski5913
    @chrisbeleski5913 Před 2 dny

    We kearned in chapters that the line about carving a hole in his chest was based on a real event. Makes that part of the song hit like a ton of bricks.

  • @jenk4653
    @jenk4653 Před 13 dny +3

    I have watched and listened to his chapters. You are the second reactor I am watching today.

  • @lonnygervais6724
    @lonnygervais6724 Před 10 dny +1

    Filmed in Calgary Alberta. I am Alberta and I recognize the Ctrain platform and the phone number on the convenience store.

  • @MissMeKate
    @MissMeKate Před 13 dny +12

    Thank you for being a light in the darkness for so many, and helping amplify Ren's messages of hope and support and awareness. ❤ He is *different*. And we're so lucky to have him.
    (And when I was watching it the first time I only knew what the bulls logo on his jacket meant because of your hat.)

  • @belgand5555
    @belgand5555 Před 10 dny +1

    Thanks Joe E powerful words!❤️

  • @carladicarlo3255
    @carladicarlo3255 Před 12 dny +1

    Beautiful reaction. Beautiful souls the both of you have 🥰

  • @tan5taafl
    @tan5taafl Před 13 dny +3

    Thanks for sharing my brother. ✌

  • @chroma9008
    @chroma9008 Před 13 dny +1

    Beautiful reaction, brother. Was right there with you.

  • @therosabella67
    @therosabella67 Před 7 dny +1

    Josh filmed it in Calgary Canada

  • @Orangebob55
    @Orangebob55 Před 12 dny +1

    I love to play this next to money game 3, the way both tunes tell the story for each year of life!
    The contrast of two completely different paths and where they can ultimately lead, positive and negative moments that define us by the way we choose to react to them!❤

  • @JulitaLena123
    @JulitaLena123 Před 13 dny +3

    I absolutely love your reactions Joe, you are fantastic person❤😊

  • @abbymathews5088
    @abbymathews5088 Před 12 dny +1

    Thanks Joe. 😉❤️✌️

  • @raymondduncil5786
    @raymondduncil5786 Před 13 dny +2

    Loved this. ❤🎉 Killin the algorithm.

  • @emmamarriott
    @emmamarriott Před 12 dny +1

    Thank you for such a wonderful reaction ❤

  • @geoffreynolds3157
    @geoffreynolds3157 Před 12 dny +1

    I don’t know if anyone else noticed, but his funk style guitar riff in the back track. sounds like a Jimmi Hendricks style riff. Knowing Ren, this has gotta be intentional.

  • @d2ndborn
    @d2ndborn Před 13 dny +2

    You really need to checkout his chapters they explain much of his music and life

  • @StantonMoira
    @StantonMoira Před 12 dny +1

    Can I just say that I love you? Love your reactions.

  • @stranger2Utube
    @stranger2Utube Před 12 dny +1

    Thank you Joe E, moving as always

  • @Jdizzine
    @Jdizzine Před 13 dny +2

    Got me to bro!

  • @sunshynff
    @sunshynff Před 10 dny +1

    Hey my man, been a minute since I dropped a comment, first off great reaction!! Second, on the story of Ren's health issues, the chapters, that you referred to, do NOT feel obligated to react to them. It's a heartbreaking and tragic story, it's also a beautiful story full of perseverance and hope, all I'm saying is it hits deep and will grab ya by feels for sure. So feel free to watch them on your own, or if you do react to them, we'll be here for that too, but I think most Renegades would agree, we got you're back, whichever you decide to do. ✌💚

  • @DonnaPoynton.
    @DonnaPoynton. Před 12 dny +1

    Thanks JoeE ❤

  • @AllisterDarcy
    @AllisterDarcy Před 12 dny +1

    FIRE JOE [ YORKSHIRE UK> 66 YEARS OLD GRANDFATHER RENEGADE ]

  • @bunnyblister1707
    @bunnyblister1707 Před 13 dny +2

    He's rocking that kick ass bulls jacket. Joe E you need one

  • @anastasiagreene5967
    @anastasiagreene5967 Před 9 dny +1

    ❤❤❤

  • @sampanther8854
    @sampanther8854 Před 12 dny +1

    ❤❤❤ 🙏🙏🙏

  • @brandoncreek7502
    @brandoncreek7502 Před 2 dny

    Some genius must soon invent little Glass wipers for such moments
    This would surely devastate the paper tissue industry

  • @melissamarkwell2886
    @melissamarkwell2886 Před 10 dny +1

  • @christinehutchinson767
    @christinehutchinson767 Před 11 dny +1

    Great reaction ❤️🕊️🇬🇧

  • @leann60
    @leann60 Před 13 dny +1

    💙💙

  • @LizShide
    @LizShide Před 13 dny +1

    🔥🔥🐐👑🔥🔥

  • @morecrayonsplzmcw4836
    @morecrayonsplzmcw4836 Před 13 dny +1

    🔥

  • @aaronb4493
    @aaronb4493 Před 13 dny +1

    👌🏻

  • @NilZed1
    @NilZed1 Před 9 dny

    In the Chapters he discusses just his thin he was, he’s 6’2” but his weight went down to about 110 lbs. That’s hella thin for that tall. And oribabky a source for more health problem in future regarding bone deterioration and demineralisation,. when you can’t get nutrients from good, your body eats itself up. That’s one reason why he rubs sbd lifts, he has had to rebuild his muscles and tendon and his very bones.

  • @natmaiden4491
    @natmaiden4491 Před 13 dny +1

    Fantastic 😊

  • @pisnis0077
    @pisnis0077 Před 12 dny

    mjau mjau murrr hip hop legend is born

  • @rveino2978
    @rveino2978 Před 13 dny

    🔥🔥🔥😊

  • @lisadavenport2390
    @lisadavenport2390 Před 12 dny +3

    Ty Mr Joe E for doing this. The more exposure the better chance we have of finding a cure. What Ren says is 10000000000 percent truth bc I live it everyday. I pray a cure comes Love from Lisa the lyme and autoimmune warrior ( other stuff too ) 🦠💚💚🦠 Hugs to all of us suffering - watching you from my bed 🛌 ty ty ty for helping to be a part of the solution by doing this reaction and being a friend always 💚💚💚🦠🦠🦠

  • @user-jf9ff5gq8u
    @user-jf9ff5gq8u Před 12 dny

    Joe,
    Where have you been?... and brother ?
    Gotta have my fix with JS more often!

  • @arklilbro
    @arklilbro Před 12 dny

    👋👋👋👋

  • @richagurung4591
    @richagurung4591 Před 13 dny

    Hey Joe, this msg is just informative... RM of BTS has just released a new song called COME BACK TO ME... I think the entire album is about to be like a movie.. or short film.. so looking forward to your reactions

  • @skater61991
    @skater61991 Před 13 dny

    ☕️☕️

  • @adwil7196
    @adwil7196 Před 13 dny +3

  • @francesdoll4039
    @francesdoll4039 Před 12 dny

    Jish filmed this
    I don’t kniw exactlty what Ren meant by forgiving God But aftet being angry at God, forgiving him felt like a healing thing . All i kbow is Ren started wearinf his cross again, and i never feel like i need to question his internal moral compass. His spirituality seems fluid and ever evolving and i think he saw his purpose here.

  • @ezrasace
    @ezrasace Před 12 dny

    I can get that a Christian would look at that way. I will wait for Ren to say his beliefs. I will say that Ren has presented the World with a immensely important piece of music.

  • @X_Podius
    @X_Podius Před 13 dny

    Can you please react to migraine and neon gravestones by Twenty One pilots? 🙏

  • @raymondduncil5786
    @raymondduncil5786 Před 13 dny

    The chapters are great to watch but not so much for reacting to. Please watch em tho, it's a great lil audio book of his life.