I Was Almost A School Shooter Until I Received Unconditional Love At Rock Bottom: Aaron Stark

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  • čas přidán 23. 07. 2024
  • This episode of What’s Underneath: Masculinity with Man Enough is sponsored by BetterHelp, the online, accessible therapy site. Visit BetterHelp.com/WhatsUnderneath today to get 10% off your first month.
    In our second episode of What’s Underneath: Masculinity, made in partnership with Man Enough, mental health and gun control advocate Aaron Stark courageously shares the harrowing impact of unrelenting childhood abuse that led him down a dark path as a potential school shooter. At his rock bottom, feeling completely worthless, a simple act of unconditional love from a friend became the catalyst for reclaiming his humanity, preventing irreversible actions, and propelling him on a lifelong journey of vulnerability and accountability.
    In this episode, we delve into the unbreakable power of male friendship and how when one is genuinely seen, they can transcend the depths of rage and erasure, ultimately embracing their most unlimited, compassionate, and purposeful potential.
    *Guests are not compensated and their appearance does not imply endorsement of our sponsor.
    Catch new episodes of What’s Underneath: Masculinity every Thursday on / stylelikeu
    Exclusive 1-hour audio-only episodes every Thursday on Manenough.com/Podcast
    Catch our series Trailer here: • Men Open Up Like Never...
    Watch more What's Underneath episodes: • The What's Underneath ...
    FOLLOW STYLELIKEU:
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    FOLLOW AARON:
    Instagram: / aarongstark79
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    00:00- 00:28 Introduction
    0:28 Power in Vulnerability
    1:41 Assumptions, Judgments and Self-Hatred
    3:19 I Was Almost A School Shooter
    5:22 The Origins of Childhood Abuse
    8:31 Homelessness & Self-Destruction
    12:58 My Friend Who Saved My Life
    14:41 Deciding To Live
    16:08 Every Step of Recovery
    18:20 Vulnerability and Accountability
    #masculinity #aaronstark #guncontrol
  • Jak na to + styl

Komentáře • 114

  • @StyleLikeU1
    @StyleLikeU1  Před 8 měsíci +19

    This episode of What’s Underneath: Masculinity with Man Enough is sponsored by BetterHelp, the online, accessible therapy site. Visit BetterHelp.com/WhatsUnderneath today to get 10% off your first month

    • @aaronstarkauthor
      @aaronstarkauthor Před 8 měsíci +1

      Thank you so much for giving me a chance to share my story! You are all so amazing, it was such a great experience

  • @MudulerDerpz
    @MudulerDerpz Před 3 měsíci +14

    “He who is not loved by the village, will burn it down to feel it’s warmth” African Proverb

  • @vincentvanglow
    @vincentvanglow Před 8 měsíci +159

    Aaron, your emotional strength and resilience are incredible. You brought me to tears. As someone who survived parental abuse, you reminded me there's always a way to heal. You chose life. Thank you

  • @tracyguillemette6255
    @tracyguillemette6255 Před 8 měsíci +89

    Thank you for doing this series - boys and men need to see this vulnerability because this is part of masculinity. It allows men to be good fathers and role models for their sons and daughters. It builds in kids, actual respect rather than fear of their fathers.

  • @ortem000
    @ortem000 Před 8 měsíci +86

    He walked through the fire and came out the otherside with life lessons and grace. I'm sure he's a damn good Dad and Husband. Good on him. And thanks to Mike for being there when Aaron needed him.

    • @sananne3681
      @sananne3681 Před 8 měsíci +2

      Grace, it's not a word we use often to describe men, and here I find it so so fitting!

  • @The_Real_Boaz_Priestly
    @The_Real_Boaz_Priestly Před 8 měsíci +94

    I am so glad I watched this video, and, what I wouldn't give for a father like you.
    I am also trans, like your son. I've been living as a man for a decade, and haven't seen or heard from my father for 8 years. When you said that you wanted your son to know that being himself wasn't wrong, it made me cry. That's all I ever wanted to hear from my father. Thank you, for letting me live vicariously, for just a moment.

    • @aaronstarkauthor
      @aaronstarkauthor Před 8 měsíci +19

      Hello and thank you for listening.
      And thank you even more for not giving up.
      I am sorry you had to deal with that, and if I may, I just want to say that it is in fact ok that you exist.
      Its ok that you're different. It's totally fine that YOU are YOU. You matter. You are NOT WRONG. You are NOT A CRIME.
      The thing that is wrong is the fact that anyone would ever say you are.
      Keep shining.
      Never let anyone else's dark make our light go out.
      You are not alone.
      Aaron Stark

    • @lianereading6707
      @lianereading6707 Před 8 měsíci +5

      Omg reading this comment and the response from Arron made me cry. You are man enough don't ever let anyone say you aren't.

    • @relldareal1
      @relldareal1 Před 8 měsíci +4

      YOU ARE LOVED🫂💙 NO MATTER WHAT!!!

  • @hilarystewart366
    @hilarystewart366 Před 8 měsíci +22

    What was really amazing was that it was an act of kindness that turned him around. The support of his friend and his friend throwing him a birthday party. That's how little it took for him to change course. Imagine...

  • @joannahzamora
    @joannahzamora Před 8 měsíci +12

    "When you woke up today, you were good enough" ❤

  • @piahyer8023
    @piahyer8023 Před 8 měsíci +46

    This is one of the hardest, heart wrenching, interviews I have watched. THANK YOU so much for sharing these stories about masculinity!

  • @danielleholly240
    @danielleholly240 Před 7 měsíci +8

    This video had me crying. Also can we get a shoutout for people like Mike? Those accepting, understanding, unconditionally caring friends

  • @KIskra
    @KIskra Před 8 měsíci +12

    I don't know if society fully understands the importance of friendship. As someone who has gone through a less severe family situation, it was the friendships that have saved me to this day. Admittedly I also didn't have the best coping skills (I engaged in SI for around 25 years) but having others who care about you because they actually want you in their lives means everything. My friendships are why even in some of my most chaotic moments that I don't do anything self destructive. I want to be around and continue to live my life with them in it.
    Not every "bad kid" or kid from a bad family is going to be a "bad influence" on your kid. But your kid might be the influence or caring human that could help someone feel seen and learn that there are options and possibilities in the future.

  • @c.8192
    @c.8192 Před 8 měsíci +9

    ,,they saw me as a project or a monster and he didn't"❤

  • @alexandraestre1731
    @alexandraestre1731 Před 8 měsíci +23

    What a beautiful soul he is. That's what vulnerability is. it's strength. Being vulnerable means you are strong enough to face the reprecussians of being that. I am in awe of people like him. People that take their dark past ( that they have in no way any control of) and turn it into something like this. Thank you Aaron for speaking up. Loved hearing you. And I thank Mark and Abbie for them being there for you too.

  • @joannalukaszuk2260
    @joannalukaszuk2260 Před 8 měsíci +10

    this is seriously one of the most moving stories on this channel... the grace this guy emanates - beyond words

  • @cynlagos
    @cynlagos Před 8 měsíci +33

    Aaron, every word that came out of you made you more and more beautiful as the video progressed. The vulnerability to face a very painful subject for all of us in America, without shame but with respect for yourself. I can tell you have pure goodness in your heart because you are sharing this information selflessly for all of us to learn to be better and to be better to those around us.

  • @jackperry6269
    @jackperry6269 Před 8 měsíci +3

    this guys seems like the best father. dealt the worst hand in life, yet he turns out the kindest, nicest, best guy. what an incredible story of resilience and recovery.

  • @Letters2indigo
    @Letters2indigo Před 8 měsíci +5

    I am all heart now, if anyone in the comments ever needs a safe space or someone to share with, someone to talk to somewhere to be heard, come here
    I love you for whatever you think is dark or unlovable
    Thank you

  • @hay1707
    @hay1707 Před 7 měsíci +3

    I wasn’t expecting to be so moved by this, or to resonate so deeply with certain parts of Aaron’s story. Thank you for sharing with us.

  • @emck001
    @emck001 Před 8 měsíci +6

    I will come back to this video. Every time I am resistant to feeling deeper, ashamed of my insecurities, overwhelmed by my emotions, feeling alone and misunderstood, I will come back and be reminded that vulnerability and love is the only true power ❤ thank you so much

  • @elineeugenie5224
    @elineeugenie5224 Před 8 měsíci +6

    And here's me feeling sorry for myself
    I can't thank you enough all of you that made this episode.
    I'm on the other side of the planet, in tears. The bit about doing the harm on purpose, that clicked, not for myself but for my dad. That's what happened to him and i couldn't understand it.
    All this, for understanding

    Proud, of you and of me.

  • @AP-of5kj
    @AP-of5kj Před 8 měsíci +7

    i cried about three times while watching this. i think you are a hero. and mike is too. to be in such an unimaginably dark place and find the strength to get out of there and become such a loving, confident, kind person is beyond incredible. i love you.

  • @PotterFan394007
    @PotterFan394007 Před 8 měsíci +15

    Thank you for sharing your story. I feel so proud of you for being the person you are now. I will keep improving myself.

  • @kim2306
    @kim2306 Před 8 měsíci +9

    Oh man. His life story seriously had me holding back tears. Thank you so much for sharing it.

  • @JoyAdebambo
    @JoyAdebambo Před 8 měsíci +5

    I'm already crying and It hasn't been a minute in

  • @choosehope8729
    @choosehope8729 Před 8 měsíci

    Great interview.

  • @crystalpupa5307
    @crystalpupa5307 Před 8 měsíci +1

    im in tears

  • @lenkat.4620
    @lenkat.4620 Před 8 měsíci +1

    THANK YOU, Aaron💖

  • @olusha
    @olusha Před 8 měsíci +7

    This video struck me as the most important that I've seen in this series or elsewhere. Aaron's story and voice is crucial to hear. Immensely enlightening. Thank you for including this man and for this series. Brilliant.

  • @joybird5495
    @joybird5495 Před 8 měsíci +6

    Thank you for sharing your story.

  • @dorafeypersefone
    @dorafeypersefone Před 8 měsíci +1

    So inspiring, thank you ❤

  • @laybackeasy
    @laybackeasy Před 8 měsíci +1

    This is so heartbreaking, and beautiful, and perfect. Thank you so much for sharing this.

  • @yourpalfred
    @yourpalfred Před 7 měsíci

    Incredible and humbling!! Sending so much love!!!

  • @user-se3sq3ek1r
    @user-se3sq3ek1r Před 7 měsíci +1

    His TED talk was one of the most influential on me. I am thrilled and so happy to see him on this channel.

  • @mayamichelle6741
    @mayamichelle6741 Před 8 měsíci +2

    I’m here from Man Enough. Very inspiring story. Yes, I can relate to crying about feeling connection and love, and no tears when speaking about disconnection, abuse, self harm. I see that there are many very bright USAn kids particularly from working class families, often a parent who was in a war, or other relatives, and lots of abusive adults (aunts/uncles/older siblings) in the life. And social services, psychologists, trained professionals most of them have no clue, no training, no tools at all how to help us.

  • @patriciasiemann7525
    @patriciasiemann7525 Před 8 měsíci +3

    Thank you so much for doing this. Thank you for making the effort to save someone. I am proud of you and would be damn proud to know you and call you a friend. Keep up the good fight.

  • @thelovelybutterfly278
    @thelovelybutterfly278 Před 8 měsíci +2

    Aaron, you are amazing. Thank you, thank you, thank you

  • @hilarystewart366
    @hilarystewart366 Před 8 měsíci +1

    Beautiful! Amazing!

  • @personneici2595
    @personneici2595 Před 8 měsíci +1

    I relate to much. The pain doesn't make me cry but the kindness does every time.

  • @NaomiAde94
    @NaomiAde94 Před 8 měsíci +1

    This absolutely touched me, I love the openness of this interview. So beautiful.

  • @Brianiboo2
    @Brianiboo2 Před 8 měsíci +6

    Thank you so much for sharing your story- it moved me so much. I am glad you are still here and were able to find a life you love.

  • @tamihutcheson7042
    @tamihutcheson7042 Před 7 měsíci +2

    I love this. I've watched many of these on this channel as I've been subscribed for years. This? This hit me. Brought me back to my youth when I attempted s*icide twice. I then became a very hardened teenage girl.
    It only takes 1 person. 1 sign. 1 event. 1 thing...to change everything.
    Don't do something permanent in response to something temporary.
    Thank you, Aaron. Thank you for reminding me. ❤

    • @aaronstark3619
      @aaronstark3619 Před 7 měsíci +1

      Thank you for not giving up
      I'm really glad you're here
      Thanks for listening

    • @tamihutcheson7042
      @tamihutcheson7042 Před 7 měsíci +1

      @@aaronstark3619 I'm glad you're here too, Aaron. Keep doing what you're doing.

  • @silarydoveface
    @silarydoveface Před 7 měsíci +1

    Powerful-- major thanks to Aaron for sharing his story.

  • @gtg_nyc
    @gtg_nyc Před 8 měsíci +1

    beautiful. thank you for sharing, i'm so glad you are here.

  • @riekraptor0815
    @riekraptor0815 Před 8 měsíci +1

    What a beautiful man! Thank you so much

  • @jessicaoncanvas
    @jessicaoncanvas Před 8 měsíci +3

    What a beautiful human. This made me cry and was so healing to see. Thank you for sharing Aaron's story

  • @shasa8223
    @shasa8223 Před 8 měsíci +2

    I'm in awe of your strength Aaron. That big beautiful heart was always there, it just needed to have the flames fanned. Amazing it did't burn out, and now it burns brighter than most. You're going to change many lives. I hope you get nothing but love for the rest of your life.

  • @HeartkillerHIM
    @HeartkillerHIM Před 5 měsíci

    This just popped up in my feed & wow ❤ this a real amazing man & human. Thank you

  • @owlislike
    @owlislike Před 8 měsíci +2

    Thank you so much for giving space for these stories. The more I learn about our society, the more I see how much humanity we deprive men from having...and it starts at infancy.

  • @alexandrahearttoheart4753
    @alexandrahearttoheart4753 Před 8 měsíci

    Thank you so much for this! This story was so healing and I went through similar experiences… God bless 🙏🏾✨

  • @dandelionkisss
    @dandelionkisss Před 8 měsíci +1

    Thank you for your story Aaron!! ❤ You are a very special person. I wish you and your family the best!

  • @silverchairsg
    @silverchairsg Před 8 měsíci

    I would like to thank Aaron for his courage to be open and vulnerable about this.

  • @sierrah5928
    @sierrah5928 Před 8 měsíci

    This is so important for people to hear. ❤ Thank you so much for telling your story. I’m so sorry for all the pain you’ve felt. What happened to you was so disgusting and heartbreaking. You’ve helped me better support some of the people in my life. And you’ve reminded me to really reach out and be there for those I love. Even if I seem annoying by doing it.

  • @nefelichristogoula316
    @nefelichristogoula316 Před 7 měsíci

    Very interesting and hard life story, I am glad he is in a good place now. Thanks for sharing!

  • @bridiemacdonald9436
    @bridiemacdonald9436 Před 7 měsíci

    What an incredible moving story.

  • @Nicthatsit
    @Nicthatsit Před 8 měsíci +2

    Wow. This is so important, so eye opening. His back story makes so much sense, thank goodness he’s sharing. The biggest thing I learned was how his parents were the real target. I’m glad he turned his life around. How raw, how real. What a human. I’m so grateful for this🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

  • @TheFaithloveandloyaltyjourney
    @TheFaithloveandloyaltyjourney Před 8 měsíci +1

    I’m proud of you, Aaron. You matter. You are so wise.
    We all need to be like Mike and show compassion and help restore humanity.

  • @aniwisdomawaken9782
    @aniwisdomawaken9782 Před 8 měsíci +1

    This is an extremely powerful episode. Thank you so much for this series. Thank you Aaron for your voice and for you powerful purpose as a man on the planet. You are seen. You are heard🙏🏼

  • @sarahmael1414
    @sarahmael1414 Před 8 měsíci

    You're such a beautiful person inside and out. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • @aurelieellis2767
    @aurelieellis2767 Před 7 měsíci +1

    wow... the sentiment that 'if people found out all of me they'd hate me' immediately hit my chest and soul with all of its force. To rip off the 'old you'... I felt like Aaron explained his journey to me as if I am a child trying to understand myself. Almost like he is explaining his story to the child he once was. What a beautiful man, who I feel so proud of and honoured to be able to hear his truth. Thank you!!!

  • @dawnmullen4348
    @dawnmullen4348 Před 7 měsíci

    Poverty and mental health crisis - we are swimming in it. Aaron Stark thank you for your story. So important to share. Thank you!

  • @Cooqquu
    @Cooqquu Před 6 měsíci

    This was absolutely earth shaking for me. As always these interviews crack my brain and heart wide open.

  • @brimichelle6271
    @brimichelle6271 Před 7 měsíci

    Whew. This was a powerful one. Aaron is an incredible individual 🤍

  • @garden_vibes7796
    @garden_vibes7796 Před 7 měsíci

    These videos are so important. My boyfriend could've been like this with his life growing up. It is amazing the human spirit to live and be good. These are some of the strongest people I have ever seen.

  • @susiefairfield7218
    @susiefairfield7218 Před 8 měsíci +3

    Thank You Alex for sharing your story❤

  • @LadyLovebliss
    @LadyLovebliss Před 6 měsíci

    Wow, Your efforts and authenticity is heavenly applauded ❤ thank you goldheart

  • @relldareal1
    @relldareal1 Před 8 měsíci +1

    Those who HELD YOU at your worst are GODSENDS. And THANK GOD FOR THEM. YOU AARON SIR, ARE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SOUL MY BROTHER, I COMMEND & COMPLIMENT YOU FOR OVERCOMING & EVOLVING INTO THE AWESOME DUDE DAD YOU ARE, WISH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY THE BEST!!!

  • @autumnb8762
    @autumnb8762 Před 8 měsíci

    Thank you

  • @nannafish
    @nannafish Před 6 měsíci

    This is one of the best videos from this series I've seen in a long time. I often have to stop watching because I'm too frustrated at the closed-minded comments. But I when true connections and understandings happen. More of this please.

  • @sharpaycutie2
    @sharpaycutie2 Před 6 měsíci +1

    It’s nice to heard an MALE victim of abuse talk about his childhood and the women who tried to hurt him on the last. Those stories never make Marie Claire magazine or CNN headlines 😢

  • @abigailjupiter374
    @abigailjupiter374 Před 8 měsíci +1

    Wonderful, beautiful human ❤🙏❤️

  • @mariahconklin4150
    @mariahconklin4150 Před 7 měsíci

    Omg I am so glad you interviewd him he was on TedTalk i think...can't wait to hear his story again.What people don't understand is that when they are hurt or lonely or even sad they can snap

  • @jenhutton5038
    @jenhutton5038 Před 5 měsíci

    Wow!! I have watched several of your interviews now and I am astonished by your strength, resilience and bravery! I am so happy to see what a beautiful life you’ve created despite having crappy abusive parents. I pray God will continue to bless you and that your story will inspire and change the lives of everyone that hears it!

  • @jackperry6269
    @jackperry6269 Před 8 měsíci +1

    so beautiful.

  • @squidsweat
    @squidsweat Před 7 měsíci

    this story is absolutely nuts

  • @btheblessingyoga7095
    @btheblessingyoga7095 Před 8 měsíci

    Woah! Bravo 🥹

  • @destinylamb4471
    @destinylamb4471 Před 8 měsíci

    I am in tears

  • @Bunnidove
    @Bunnidove Před 6 měsíci

    Aaron, you're a great man.

  • @henrykkaufman1488
    @henrykkaufman1488 Před 6 měsíci

    Many people owe their life to this guy's strength, our world has failed him as a child.

  • @martasajot7086
    @martasajot7086 Před 8 měsíci +5

    Better help is a horrible company ! plenty on people have made videos on them if you wanna know more! the video is amazing tho!

  • @anishimi6994
    @anishimi6994 Před 8 měsíci +3

    All the heart emojis x’s Infinity for this one!!♥️

  • @or.lev29
    @or.lev29 Před 8 měsíci

    big hugs

  • @xodancerxo312
    @xodancerxo312 Před 8 měsíci

    Wow!

  • @CupsAreUseful
    @CupsAreUseful Před 6 měsíci

    one of the best fucking videos of my life. sending to so many people. thank u aaron and style like u

  • @sashamellon822
    @sashamellon822 Před 7 měsíci +1

    What is the need to take his clothes off? It’s ridiculous

  • @foivilogothetidi901
    @foivilogothetidi901 Před 3 měsíci

    Wwow!!

  • @cyrillllll
    @cyrillllll Před 7 měsíci

    He's gorgeous

  • @buinjabayange3973
    @buinjabayange3973 Před 2 měsíci

    At first glance, I thought he was the Canadian icon- Seth Rogen.

  • @bigcatenergy3707
    @bigcatenergy3707 Před 8 měsíci

    ❤❤❤❤

  • @aistedailydyte7256
    @aistedailydyte7256 Před 8 měsíci +1

  • @rvgrat4713
    @rvgrat4713 Před 7 měsíci

    ❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @MySkillfulmeans
    @MySkillfulmeans Před 8 měsíci +5

    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @-jellyfish
    @-jellyfish Před 7 měsíci

    Wow 🥲❤️

  • @marvinraphaelmonfort8289
    @marvinraphaelmonfort8289 Před 8 měsíci

    💙

  • @Jessilavender
    @Jessilavender Před 8 měsíci +2

    YOURE A BEAUTIFUL SOUL IN A SHIT WORLD ALRIGHT
    PEACE & LOVE

  • @piahyer8023
    @piahyer8023 Před 8 měsíci +1

    My comment disappeared almost immediately after posting it. Is something wrong with CZcams or you channel?

  • @Tanguy63ify
    @Tanguy63ify Před 8 měsíci

    🙏🏼🌹🧡💛💚💙

  • @RTS5010
    @RTS5010 Před 8 měsíci

    You are beautiful.

  • @AeonZhang
    @AeonZhang Před 8 měsíci

    💫✨🌟❤️🌟✨💫

  • @purpl3Fairyy
    @purpl3Fairyy Před 6 měsíci

  • @Futuristbillpicone
    @Futuristbillpicone Před měsícem

    Europeans be Wilding