Tig Notaro on Struggling to Connect with Others
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- čas přidán 13. 05. 2024
- Tig Notaro tells Neal Brennan how she struggles to connect with those who are not likeminded. From The Blocks #podcast with Neal Brennan
Full episode: • Tig Notaro | Blocks Po...
Watch Neal Brennan: Crazy Good on Netflix:
www.netflix.com/title/81728557
Theme music by Electric Guest (unreleased).
#podcast #standup #comedy #mentalhealth #connection - Komedie
I am the mother of a gay daughter. And she looks it. I never worried about what kind of a life she would have until she LOOKED GAY. And then I noticed. And the fear washed over me. I noticed a look or two. A smirk. An eye roll. My girl is a beautiful soul. Smart, funny, kind. She has the same right to exist as any other human.
Geez.. what state do u live in?( I know it’s everywhere)
Try to find the secret looks of admiration. People will try to hide it, but I bet a lot of people look at her and wish they had her strength.
I just wanted to say, thank you for mentioning that you've experienced better and worse times, over time, moving through the world as a gay person. That's such helpful context for me. I'm nonbinary and have transitioned on HRT, and I only came out and began transitioning socially 3 years ago. So it's all fresh and scary for me and I have no idea what the future brings and I'm still staring down that abyss. It's genuinely helpful to realize I should expect easier and harder times, moving forward as a gay trans person.
Thank you for talking about bathrooms. We all need to discuss our weird experiences in the bathrooms and sort it out! Cheers 🩵✌️
I'm constantly sickened at the tiny minds that think anyone else's sexual orientation or gender expression is their business at any level.
Don't worry they are mostly a figment of your imagination.
This was hands down the best part of the interview: So much in it.
I've had similar experiences with family and strangers giving me and my partner weird looks, and Its just like... give me a fuggin break... none of it is you business. This was a powerful interview.
It's so interesting to hear Tig talk about her family, because it didn't take much for me to just decide to 'Nope' it all. From the comments about remaining friends with old male classmates 'even though I was married'..... to the gasps about me not circumcising or baptising my son, I just knew there was a better place for us to be. I tolerated it when my parents were alive, but when they died, it seemed to embolden their attitudes. There was no humour behind it and if there was love behind it, I couldn't feel it. I live in a whole different country across the ocean, so I didn't need to spent the money and hassle to go back there and feel the judgement and resentment. I've just sat back for the last 10 years or so and watched and I know I've done the right thing. Those that really want to keep in touch, do. That that can visit, do. My days of people pleasing are over. I OD of the taste of resentment being the last of 9 kids. I don't need to go back for seconds or thirds.
Navigating vulnerability at the risk of being crushed or shutting off the potential for any meaningful connections out of fear or disdain is a hard line i've been talking about so much in my late 20's but I have never heard it spoken about specifically in this way. I guess its especially hard when you grew up as a sensitive child who went undiagnosed during their formative years.
Well said. Only recently realised I was afraid of" making mistakes " for fear of rejection / mad really coz I fail monumentally but i can succeed really well too ha ha ❤
Wow! I'm so glad for Tif that she has such a communicative and sane experience of family, it's all too rare
Love Tig, nostalgic for a time where humor could be this thoughtful
3 weeks ago?
"This is the first I've heard..." lololol😂
God I love her. And I also love how her family is like, "Well I guess Stephanie is done for tonight...." and is totally fine in the morning. My challenge to myself is showing grace to people who hate others for their beliefs or life choices. If I expect them to stop hating others for their beliefs, then don't I have to stop hating THEM for THEIR beliefs? That is a challenge for me.
LOVE YOU, TIG :D You too Neal. You do great interviews. This segment is really good. We needed to hear it.
This was really an outstanding reflection. Tig is always great, but the two of you really mined the depths of some important stuff that I think about often. Thank you for this conversation.
As a philosopher, I love getting the perspectives of comedians and artists. This is really high quality conversation.
As a HVAC technician, I love getting the perspectives of comedians and artists. This is really high quality conversation.
I listen to Tig’s podcast with Meg & Fortune
A scream
Since I discovered her on This American Life, been following her
She’s sweet, authentic & holds the beat when she’s going to say her punch line similar to Ray Romano, which makes her comedy unusual
Best part of Tig is she’s an ethical vegan like moi!
💚☮️🌱
I have a Mississippi family also, and as a bleeding heart liberal, LGBTQ ally, pro choice atheist, I can kick up some dust about beliefs at dinner and by morning we're all ready for pancakes and coffee. I think most people would rather hear each other out and choose to get along in the end. It's the social war, viral garbage on social media and regular media that makes us believe otherwise.
My dad called me a bleeding heart liberal in the mid 70s and not in a good way. I used to say you say that as if its a bad thing. I miss him.
@jp-nn6vr Oh it's considered derogatory, I'm just claiming it with pride. ✊️
Good discussions about not fighting other people's wars
Thank you both.
You can't stereotype straight white people any more than you can anybody else. Anticipating who you can be open with about your "alternative" lifestyle is surprisingly confusing.
I first came out as trans but then decided I'm just a drag queen, so I live my everyday life in men's clothing even though I hate doing so. I prefer to be seen in women's clothing, and I made a concerted effort to fully transition, but I got such pushback that I had to make it a part time thing just in order to keep a job and be able to support myself.
Figuring out who I could talk to about it hurt my brain. Everybody I thought would be ok with it had a terrible reaction and many rejected me completely, while everybody I thought would have a hard time with it showered me with love. I lived in Los Angeles when I came out and many of the people who rejected me were card-carrying democrats. Then I moved to a mountain town in San Diego full of Trump supporters where I was often treated like royalty when I went out wearing women's clothes.
It all comes down to the individual and you can't predict people based on political or religious affiliations. Living this way reveals so much about people, like just how many people are putting on an ingenuous act of being the complete opposite of who they claim to be. They spend their lives mastering the act on such a level that nobody can see through it except for the people they hate because, for as good as they are at acting, they can't maintain the facade when encountering those people they hate. I see it as maturity and have realized that immaturity is far more common than I ever realized, largely because the most immature of people tend to be the best at convincing you they're the most mature so that it blows your mind when they reveal their true nature.
People tend to conform to the group around them, but privately may be very different. That's true. I will say you have to be a bit careful because a lot of those conservatives who are nice to you, are doing it because their religion told them to do it to try and "save" you, or because you're "one of the good ones," or because they're afraid of conflict but will still talk about you behind your back. I don't say that to rain on your parade-- lots of people really are kind and loving on a personal level even if they have some unexamined shitty beliefs. I'm just saying it's all a complicated mess, I guess.
Love Tig! It's a bummer it has to be this way. As a straight woman with many gay friends and a gay niece, they're just living their lives-doing pretty mundane stuff day in and day out. ❤
Wonderful!
Mommy like. And some grabassing might be nice. I love the podcast Neal. It’s healing a lot of people. Thanks for sharing and providing a safe place for others to do the same. 💕
Love Tig.
She just seems fun to talk to. Also, the Star Trek clip 😂
At the minimum, if our morals and ethics don't align then it's a hard deal breaker.
Tig is a better person than I, I don't try, I just generally detest people.
Wow! I can't believe you got Tom Cruise 😏
OMDog! I have a tinkle anywhere policy too!! 😂🎉
8:22 I did not know Tig was a ventriloquist.
Seriously, Good talk.
to you both.
Straight white female, I love this woman. She is so funny
Stephanie sounds awesome!
It used to be something I was very motivated to do and as I grew it became very rewarding. Then I lost my faith in a lot when my marriage started to fail, and since retreating into myself under the dysfunctional mode of the victim, my confidence dwindled and my confidence in myself with. My belief that God would guide me through anything didn’t bounce back and I’ve been struggling to become strong again; life’s been a real slog the past few years.
mind reading moment @8:22
LOL what was that???
Christian, pro-life, straight woman and I think Tig is funny. Love her stand up and her show. My mom died from cancer and she really hits home with her mom and family 🩵
I love Tig. Also, abortion is healthcare. Full stop.
Christians see no cognitive dissonance in enjoying gay/lesbiam artists and simultaneosly voting for and calling for the removal of LGBT Rights like LGBT Marriage and Adoptionn.
Y’all realize conservative Jim Crow audiences listened to Black Jazz Musiacians and applauded them?
@@Gmentality69I'm inclined largely to agree with you though my worldview is probably similar to the OP. My difficulty in a Late-Capitalist society that has run rogue and lent itself to a kind of degeneracy or idolatry makes me wonder the perspective of the 'full stop,' because as the former Archbishop of Canterbury wrote maybe 15 years ago in an op. ed. in The Guardian, that of course there was a time where people were striving for social and economic justice in say, the Sixties, abortion widely available (and in the UK up to about 24 weeks) made utter sense.
But does it make sense now, not because things are better, but because they are so utterly worse. Abortion doesn't substitute the prohibitive cost of say a pregnancy test or a morning-after pill, or a generous social-democratic welfare net to protect women who might otherwise carry a child to term and be able to feed, clothe and shelter them.
Or at least carry them to term with sufficient compensation and guarantees in the workplace that she might be able to offer her child up for adoption if she so chooses that is in the best interests for the child (and arguably, hers too).
If we draw the line at merely abortion there are just so, so many other things we don't get at and an abortion in some way becomes more vulgarised than it needs to have become.
I'm well past way to the left of the UK Labour party, certainly more than Sanders et al., the Squad. But I find myself wondering why our battle lines are drawn mostly at access to abortion, as if that is the last remaining hill on which to die.
I’m glad to be at the table with you
@@Gmentality69I’m completely pro life. That’s why its important to have abortion access,medical care for all, raising minimum wage, etc
💖✨💖
Ring, your children DO have a sense of humour, just at your expense ❤️😂
I think that your plane experience is true reflection of some women’s role identity. They still align with these old fashion norms, so one of you in your relationship must have assumed what her vision of the male role is. It makes me think of a child asking that and would your answer be the same. If you were raised in an Amish/Mennonite/Evangelical family setting, ignorance is still there and alive over generations.
It’s impossible not to root for Tig. So smart and funny and self-aware. The world needs more likable lesbians. (Did I spell that right?) 🤭
Who’s Alan?
I've never liked her comedy. But, she is a very good actress.
Neal! Make the band release your outro song, already! It’s my favorite song and I can’t listen to it on streamers 🤬
Tig, there is a teacher CZcams channel: Jere Chang. You are so alike. Could be sisters.
Thirty yrs ago a therapist told me, "It's absolutely none of your business what other ppl think about you." That helps put things into perspective.
You can't live your life trying to control other ppls perspectives.
Mind your own store and let that be enough.
Tig is hot and smart and wise
It's surprising to hear that anti-gay attitudes are growing in places. It feels much easier being openly gay in Ohio today than it did 15 years ago.
Sounds like Stephanie fits right in
Neal finding it hard to have to try to connect with people virulently and aggressively against your very existence, or at the very least freedom, seems to have never heard of women.
Women have to try to connect, and “be his peace” and “truly love for who he is really deep down inside where no one will ever see (bc it doesn’t exist) to those who are historically… their only known predator. And their main cause of early croaking. And their constsnt and ubiquitous aggressors.
And if we don’t do that, the species ceases to exist.
Like for example, Chris Rock. He sired a child through SA of a model, correct?
But the whole world has to coddle him as though telling jokes should excuse those atrocities.
Like is the wrong word for that sad final note but pls bring back Tig and others comfortable talking from LGBTQ communities. They need access to platforms that care more than ever these days.
Wishing that strand of top comedians today would reconsider using their platforms to punch down. Bullying is unnecessary, unkind, and makes many lose respect for their judgement. One can have privilege in some areas and not in others but that doesn’t make it ok to punch down on those one can. Guess they’ll need to reach that realization and decision on their own. It’s not all the same.
Stephanie is right - they do have blood on their hands.
🏳️🌈💐🏳️🌈💐
I wonder where in Ohio her first girlfriend was from?
well, I’ve think people need to realize they don’t have to wear their opinions on their sleeves every time they walk out of the house.
there is still SO much ignorance in this country
If you can tolerate
it does still wear you down and all you can do is let out a long sad sigh. Hey remember when it wasnt polite to talk about religion and politics? Lets add gender and sexuality and everybody stfu
The Chris Rock thing is somewhat suspect. He also used to complain about getting pulled over all the time by LAPD, because he was “a black guy in a fancy sports car.” But he never admits he was driving 100 mph in a 45. 🤷♂️ Penn Jillette was pulled over so much he became friends with a number of officers. Was it racism?
Who are these people policing public bathrooms? If i got to go in public i don't care who's in there
Tom Cruise is a lesbian??? What??
Which one is Tig??
Comedy is hard.
@@Nathan-gd7xqand so am I
Hahahah. Nice
Which gender will YOU be changing to?
Ummm, I believe she had a double mastectomy because of breast cancer that she almost DIED from.
I feel like not being able to rent homes is a very different experience from someone on a plane asking an intrusive question...that lady didnt even seem intolerant just ignorant.
Yes, ignorant. But some people are not willing to learn.
Asking if her family is ashamed of her is an a-hole thing to say. Worse than intolerant.
SHAMEFUL not attractive behaviour leading anywhere! Being who you are should be the best of you shown to the world.
What Ellen did to Anne is shameful. Ostracizing her. Not allowing her on the show. I'm sorry but Ellen may have done a lot for the general acceptance of gay people but she did Anne dirty and it torpedoed her career. If you couldn't go on Ellen to promote, many studios would rather pick someone for a role who could
He is straight!? 😮
I honestly don't get what trans has to do with sexual orientation. Being gay is about who you're attracted to.
Trans people however want to claim to actually be something they're objectively not.
Accepting someones sexual orientation doesn't ''bleed into'' my world, but expecting me to pretend that your're something you're not, does. And people will never tip toe around these insane expectations.
I bailed at 7:40 when she started with "we made such strides... " Someone please tell me if either of them acknowledged how crazy things have gotten with gender and sexuality lately and how maybe the new aggression could be some valid or at least understandable response.....Or was it just all about her.
She doesn't connect because she awful. Most people aren't awful but she is so she doesn't connect with them.
Her condescension is thick. It’s like Hollywood’s only true religion is hating ordinary people with traditional values.
What and the holy fuck are you on about?
“Her wife”!🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️
As an ethical vegan and i am extraordinarily giving to all, I have been harassed and had my life threatened
💔🩸🌱