Life after divorce ft Phidra | The Unpopular Opinion UG
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- čas přidán 7. 04. 2023
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The Unpopular Opinion
/ the.unpopular.opinion.ug
Claire
/ be.your.own.boss.babe
Prim
/ nyonyoziprim
/ @nyonyoziprim
Kemi
/ fionakemi_
/ @fionakemi
Crew: IV League
Directors of photography: Pius Gyagenda | Lubwama Muhammed
Editors: Jacob Kisubi | Pius Gyagenda
Colorist: Pepah Arnold
Director: Jacob Kisubi
I have too much respect for women who raise their head high and say enough is enough and leave toxic marriages
What ican say is that thereis alot to be careful about in early stages of marriage you can easily misunderstand one another it needs some patience and tolerance and every woman should have some earning so that she does not stress to demand beyond what the man can afford do you know why iisay this you may not find perfect pp and marriage is not for the soft and gentle hearted you need strength and Gods intervention
These are the genuine converstions that motivated me to start a you tube channel. These conversations have to be normalised because many people are suffering silently. I walked out of a 12yr tiring relationship. I didnt know where i was going, its a year and a half now. I have settled down, the sense of independence that comes with it, the peace of mind, the self love and the detemination to move on is unexplainable. I am very sober now, and i know there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I will be streaming our full real life stories anytime soon. Women especially, need to be freed from these overwhelming stuationships.
“did they beat you?” …
Society doesn’t yet understand that mental/psychological wounds are just as damaging as physical wounds.
Mental wounds show up as memory loss, attention deficit, lack of concentration, incredibly low self esteem, fatigue, insomnia …. etc
your ability to work, study, earn a living, look after your family or interact with society becomes hugely diminished
This cannot be called “nothing”
This comment made me drop a tear.
When you know you did your best,that’s all you need.that was my comfort and no regrets
Attachment to your abuser is Trauma Bonding.Most Abused Women confuse it for Patience
That last line 💯
Mmmm never see it like that. Insightful
A child can never fix a relationship. Infact, if the relationship is not stable. Most relationships scatter when children come in. One thing i have always told my self is to always choose peace and i hope when i have a daughter one day she will always know when to leave. Went to school with Phidra back in Taibah. She was a few years ahead of me.
Couldn't have said it better sis.
Watching this show has healed apart of me.
Yes the feeling is real, stigma, shame.
But I feel more brave now to talk about my story freely though its still fresh and still healing from depression.
Thanks ladies🥰
I hope you will feel better someday ❤
Thank you so much for this episode. The whole attachment syndrome is so damaging. You just feel like your life can't go on without that person. It is a month since I left a relationship where I was always being gaslighted and getting the silent treatment. I was emotionally abused but after the breakup, my heart feels lighter
Thank you ladies.
I am separated after 12 years of marriage. I should have left earlier but I kept thinking it will be better.
No one should ever go through this trauma, it's not worth one's life. Life is better than marriage.
Wow wow wow,this was sooo great. So great. I feel like when women discuss things like emotional abuse or psychological torture,it's not seen or taken seriously as physical abuse(of which even physical abuse in some places is excused). This conversation was really really great, I wish everyone had access to therapists or counselors coz man,it's hard out here! Thank you so much ladies for this.
For the most part, I am an effective communicator, but with an ex spouse who thrived at verbal violence when asked to engage in productive communication, silence was and is still my (plus several others) shield of self-defence and protection, not passive-aggressive behavior. I am only responsible for my behavior, not the other adult.
This conversation was long overdue. Thank you, ladies.
There is a recent decision in the case of Ambayo Joseph V Aserua Jackline where court held interalia that contribution towards matrimonial property can be monetary and or non monetary, Non monetary can be things like emotional support to the spouse, doing house chores, paying bills etc.
I wish the next conversation could be about coparenting after a divorce. Otherwise these are insightful discussions.
These episodes always have so much to learn, great work team
Prim is hilarious....3am is the hour the Holy Spirit fixes men🤣🤣🤣😅
Making justice to her joke🤣🤣🤣
😅😅😅😅 man as a Christian, I felt attacked
Great discussions here! Here is my 2 shillings!! It would be helpful to reach out to men and get the other side of the story. These stories need to be shared in their entirety so that we get a 360 degree picture!! I'm also looking forward to seeing a healed but divorced couple come on and retrospectively talk about their failed relationship...it's possible!!
Definitely, so that they both own up to their mistakes on why the marriage failed
I’d really like to hear a man’s side of the story about divorce.
Can we get a story from a man 😌
Ela it had to be a man
I believe it is possible, however, unless one has moved on, it is more likely that if 2 people can take honest accountability more likely than not, they would rather stay married. Possible, but rare.
I love Phidra’s voice . Also, our parents never tell us anything until we go through the same things 😭😭 i don’t understand why!!
African set of culture
I know
Thank you for this episode
Wow.... It was amazing 👌
Hi ladies
Thank u for always bringing us discussions that are lovely and interesting. I love you all.
Also bring a perspective of staying in a marriage despite difficulty and finding peace
I feel like we marry for the wrong reasons these days and then that of of course leads to what you are discussing
However there is the flip side... That is God's will and then staying through it
Phidra has a beautiful voice 😃😃😃Thank you ladies for this topic
Having goosebumps!!
Ooooh Phidra 🫂🫂🫂🫂
Thank you Ladies for this important conversation!!!!
Here after 7months and this platform is just so educative and eye opening! As women the idea of being a Mrs so and so is a dream but it’s not worth it for the wrong person! Kudos to all the strong ladies and men that got themselves out of bad marriages ❤❤
I love you guys because you always keep it real and I always learn a lot from your conversations. Marriage is one thing that can change your life completely, so when choosing ask God to help you choose right.
I wish the guest was able to complete her sentences and was asked more questions 🤗but it's a comphrensive conversation I just wanted to hear her story...I cancelled my wedding two weeks before it was to happened.
Hugs
Great topic 👍.And you all look lovely too.
Very present, you're looking good ladies, enjoyed every bit of the conversation, I have learnt a lot.
This episode made me emotional 😭, dear singles take these interviews seriously, love yourself more, I was in a relationship for 5 years with a boy in it but I was hurt so much that I reached an extent of looking for something when it's in ma hands, by then I didn't wat depression, toxicity was 🙄, u are lucky coz atleast women and men have come out to share wat red flags and unhealthy relationships are. I thank God that I managed to jump out after talking to my inner self and healed🙏. U are so great God, thank u great women for sharing with us all this knowledge for free. Congrats Phidra, happy Easter holiday TUO.
You girls are looking tooooooooo goood! Cheiii!! 🙆🏾♀️🙆🏾♀️
Have just known this page today and yo speaking to me directly .much love from Kigali ❤
I love this my spirit breaks everyday when I go on Facebook and read the posts of the unplugged guy(I just don't want to mention his name),they make me feel so bad on all the things he says about single mums and divorced women. So this episode has raised my spirit again because initially i had decided to never get married again after all am considered the monster and cause of my separation(even if I know who I am and what exactly happened)
An absolute needed conversation that we should have in our communities
Loving the conversation
This was avery beautiful show ladies I loved it so educative for everyone out their and good luck to the bride to be.
Wawooo blessings ladies 👍🥰Am not married buh really keep doing this coz yo helping many out👏Blessings and love 🥰
Wow! This was a worthy conversation, thank you Ladies and blessings to Phidra in her next journey.
I love that women are slowly and steadily getting there,I was telling someone that I am not scared of starting over as long as I am alive .
There is more to life than that 'name' and 'Mrs' title. First you are a human being,worth all the beautiful things life can give you,after trying, please release yourself. Again, a failed marriage is better than your funeral .
❤
Thx for the show ba dear...thts the power of a woman who can walk away!my advice to my fellow women is...lets base our relationships on God first thing,.. learn to love ourselves be4 we give love to anyone else...this is so important coz if we do..we are not going to allow anyone to take away all our life happiness toxically by expecting change.its locking yourself in a toxic unhealthy miserable lifetime. situation.
It just shows, if you are going through anything painful, 'this too shall pass' 🌻 Look at how they are glowing now, with men that value them! Thanks for sharing 💜
You can say that again ❤
U HV really talked about wat pipo a going through Thanx am sure many hv leant something
Thank you ladies for bringing this to the table.Divorce process is painful 😣.Next time invite a man who has gone through it too,I think it should be two sided.I believe they're men who experience toxic relationships too but have no chance to say anything b'coz it's always about us women.
Otherwise,u are doing great 👍
So proud of all of you amazing women. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
Moderators kept interrupting guest and had so many comments . Would have been nice to just hear guest story without offering too much inexperienced advice.
I went through a lot of financial crisis after my divorce, I had to raise my two kids alone, Currently I'm living smart and frugal with my money,bought my third house already. Saving and investing lifestyle made it possible for me; even till now I earn monthly through passive income. I'm planning on retiring when my kids finish college,just hope it encourages someone that it doesn’t matter if you don’t have any of them right now, you can start TODAY regardless your age INVEST and change your future! Investing is a grand choice I made. Great video!
I love this discussion learning alot and am single and thought I will be happier in marriage.thanks for eye opener watching from Nairobi Kenya kudos for such programme
Marriage marriage the way I can't wait for you because I have been listening to these things and am even about to get where to write so that I have a marriage manual
Thanks for sharing your experiences. It’s never easy to leave a failing relationship but staying is much worse. Kudos to all the strong women who have decided to leave and start over. Psychological abuse is the worst abuse. In regards to how women should protect themselves during marriage, we must to start saving and investing on the side for ourselves.
Went through this painful journey, I surely relate closely...But glad am happy 😊
Very great insights, I feel Phidra kept being interrupted we could have gleaned more from her experience, It might have been a strategy on your part to protect her but overall great show.
Thank you Claire.M
As always ladies, YOU RAISE THE BAR. Thank you for always being diverse in opinion
Hi Ladies, love love love this channel so much. Now, I know that you all sort of laughed about this in a previous episode about how people say there must be beef between Clare and Prim because Clare never faces Prim when she speaks. I agree that it is just silly. I think some people naturally look at one particular person when they are speaking sometimes and I am pretty sure that is what is happening here. However, it does look odd like Clare is having a conversation with one person and not everyone. Would suggest that maybe going forward Clare could sit where Prim or where Fiona in this episode was sitting so it looks like an all-inclusive, all-engaging conversation?
Heheheh there’s a reason that the producers ask her to sit this way. It’s a thing. A lot of things go into this. Sometimes the clothes you’re wearing, how they flow on the set, there’s also the mic bit. Who is wearing what mic. Then sometimes the comfort of each person. Claire has back issues, that’s the seat that makes her comfortable, not the one I’m seated in. There generally alot of things that go into a set.
@@nyonyoziprim gotcha. Thank you for taking the time to respond and elucidate.
"Did you sacrifice animals?" Wabula Prim, always making us laugh even in tough moments. Thank you ladies for having this conversations. They are hard but necessary.
Good conversation. It's nice to see people speak from the other side. The red flags are always there. Period.
i have learnt alot thanks guys
The glow on your faces ladies is soo jealousing
Oooops...so this is why😳 quiet and quiet...I needed this. How I over explain 😳😏
Prim always makes me happy, I like her comments
It easy to cancel a wedding than go through a divorce wow I got that in my skull now
Encouraged this, been through this
What a wonderful action. I respect you my dear
So much respect to Phidra for trusting her feelings even when she didn't have the words for them!
👏👏👏This is it🤝🤝
Putting aside the important conversation going on, is it me or am I hearing hens crowing in the background 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I like your honest conversations
“Don’t show your uncle you are divorced “ 😢😢😢eey I’m so sorry babe …
That gave me chills
I feel that the hardest part is forgiving self and stop the self blame
Now this is the one
phidra is so beautiful.
In love with you pipo thanks for the good work
Prim that plant is so giving. I lovveee it.
Please ensure that the sound is great for all the hosts, the topic is awesome but unfortunately there's one who's not audible. I can't here her.
True about dads!
My husband is literally my dad. Not in age but in the way I look at him.
More of my dad than my hubby!
Its what I was looking for!!
I am a lawyer and I agree with you that the current decisions of the Court of Appeal on division of property are disfavouring women
Phidra. The lady Oozes healing and Peace with Her Past. May your next marriage make all the pain and heartache from the last completely disappear. Solidarity xxx
The things women go through 😢😢. A dentist just poisoned his wife through a protein shake recently he pretended to lovingly make for her. Sometimes Divorce helps avoid all this.
Beautiful women bombarding us with nothing but wisdom❤
Banange! Uganda is so small
Tell us the names of these men so that we avoid anyone that goes by that name
Claire kindly please always project your voice when explaining a point. Your volume usually goes down, I think because you passionately explain your points. Thanks
Sure
True i did everything i could to keep going but it still failed
Seriously Prim why did you say mussolinie have died😭😂😂
what do you value most, your life or property?
Toxic relationships.....sis....run!!!!😅
I wish they had let the guest to share her whole part of the story ... Then asked later it would have been much better ..
Girls u are looking good
Walkimg away is hard but its sometimes necessary. You cant please a man who cant be pleased. More often than not a Man expects the woman to simply suck it up, they believe they have the right to behave however they please. Women are liberating themselves this days and love will find us again. There are still good Men.
Congratulations to Phidra. May God bless your marriage. Everything truly in God’s timing.
I recommed war room movie to all ladies preparing for marriage and those in marriage.
I hear iron shirts😂😂😂
Prim prim 🤣🤣 jokes on jokes
Friends I’m axan I don’t like divorce but anything u experience in life that takes away your inner peace 3 times give up😊
Me and him chose quiet quitting, so we raise the kids together.
Trauma bonding-Fionah
Volume is too low please fix that next time
“We need to discuss that I want all my children to come from one man ish” Prim 2023
I hate,I hate,I hate,this statement and thinking keeps women in domestic violence
I know. It's a load of crap. No one wants children from multiple people. Life just happens
@@edithbateganya9069 well said
No one wishes to settle for divorce but circumstances force us to🥲🥲
I think Claire's voice keeps getting so low at some points of the show. Like I have to keep varying the volume throughout the show. Can that be corrected?
@
Thank you for today's conversation. My man keeps quiet and is always on her phone when we have a disagreement. He never wants to talk, he just wakes up, put kameza money then goes. No communication throughout the day. Meanwhile this is a one months old relationship. He has no time for us. He says the time we have in bed is enough yet he's always on his phone
He is not willing to put in the work. To him , his only role is to provide financially 😢
I've been there..I know the feeling
That's devastating. When you were dating, how did you communicate. Seems like there is something going on there with him because that's abnormal behavior. Did he want to get married? I feel like I have 1 million questions to ask. I'm sorry that you're going through this.
Red flag 😢
Sending you hugs dear 🫂
Girl, run. It will not change
Thank you for the insight ,,, by the way, gals we need new amendments,, because you realize women contribute alot,,
Thanks for the show ba dear
On the red flags, Malcom Gladwell in his book, talking to strangers says that we as human beings have an automatic default to truth, so belief is not the absence of doubt, you believe someone because you don’t have enough doubts about them.
So once we don’t have enough red flags to push us over the threshold of belief, we will automatically default to truth.
I numbed my separation and eventually divorce for so long that I returned to my abuser even after 5 years of divorce ,I also used the child card ,thinking he had changed and ofcos society ,the return was worse than ever and more more more damaging foe me and my daughter ,this last time I was literally abandoned, he just disappeared ,now ts 1 year since we saw him 😂😂😂,can't explain the pain ,I honestly don't know how I feel ,however am angry also 😢simanyi anyway. Biwavu
Sorry dear I wish I can meet you
Sorry dear. God will see you through
claire your mic was low or you decided to speak very low
You even sacrifice everything to have it done in vain