The Dark Side of Your Emotional Needs: Attention

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  • čas přidán 3. 08. 2024
  • Why do otherwise rational human beings do crazy things?
    This is the first part of a series I'll be publishing over the coming months on the dark side of human emotional needs. Throughout the series I'll seek to answer the question I posed above, and in this first video I'll give you an idea of how a thwarted need for attention can ruin lives.
    Video highlights include:
    0:00 Introduction
    3:07 A reminder of the basic, primal emotional needs we all (to varying degrees) have
    5:04 The 'all your eggs in one basket trap'
    8:26 Different 'types' of attention
    12:10 How to be an effective human being
    17:45 The cult of Jim Jones and 'gross psychology'
    20:02 Are you immune to 'love bombing'?
    24:16 Summary
    The second video in this series, on the dark side of your emotional need for security, can be watched here:
    ▶︎ • The Dark Side of Your ...
    If you found this video helpful then please leave comment and hit the 'like' button - and don't forget to subscribe and tap the notification bell for updates on the rest of this series and my other videos.
    Read more on the Primal Human Needs here:
    ▶︎www.hypnosisdownloads.com/blo...
    All references can be found here:
    ▶︎www.unk.com/blog/the-dark-sid...
    Sign up for Mark's weekly Clear Thinking newsletter for tips like this sent straight to your inbox:
    ▶︎www.unk.com/blog/free-therapy...
    ---------------------------------------
    ++About Mark Tyrrell++
    Psychology is my passion. I've been a psychotherapist trainer since 1998, specializing in brief, solution focused approaches. I now teach practitioners all over the world via our online courses.
    More about Mark:
    ▶︎www.unk.com/blog/about-mark-t...
    ++Social channels++
    Facebook (practitioners):
    ▶︎ / uncommonpractitioners
    Facebook (self help):
    ▶︎ / uncommonknowledge
    Instagram:
    ▶︎ / marktyrrellunk
    Twitter:
    ▶︎ / marktyrrell

Komentáře • 65

  • @ashirwadjoshi9667
    @ashirwadjoshi9667 Před 4 lety +36

    You are too good when it comes to making someone understand about all the concepts to minute level. Keep up the great work Mark. Cheers!

  • @jamesathens
    @jamesathens Před 4 lety +13

    This video makes me wish even more that psychotherapists turned to Human Givens Psychology. Such a great presenter, an example of a scientist, and a great motivator for all therapists to get past psychobabble and reach the real root of human suffering. Excellent presentation and truly informative content as always. Thank you so much.

  • @etrebelle9812
    @etrebelle9812 Před 3 lety +4

    Therapy would be of actual use, if all therapists were at this level and not unfunny clowns. Thank you for such quality; it is such a pleasure to see.
    p.s. I know that you are right because I went through these ''cult people'' experiences myself, and they are dangerous. If I didn't have my aunt to support me through the aftermath with kind encouraging words and knowing she is a genuine person, I could have made terrible decisions out of sharp pain.

  • @cheche9528
    @cheche9528 Před 4 lety +2

    Vulnerable people vulnerable to their own emotional drive ! Focus on meet emotional needs, depending on the Single source, single person, eggs 🥚 in one basket 🧺! Open for easily been manipulated! Fear of abandonment,…
    “ knowledge is real power “ , shelf knowledge isn’t easy!
    true… video like this , helped me to leave lot of toxic ex behind who only interested manipulation and controlling me!

  • @derickdowney6992
    @derickdowney6992 Před 4 lety +15

    Absolutely amazing and eye-opening. Thank you for all you do Mark!!!

  • @cherylm5002
    @cherylm5002 Před 3 lety +3

    Great video, as a survivor of childhood abuse, I ended up drinking gasoline, skill recovering from the trauma over trauma over trauma, thanks for your insights

  • @dimitrypeters16
    @dimitrypeters16 Před 3 lety +3

    this is pure gold. i have begun to differentiate people into two kinds. but i could never name the difference. now i can. those who do not need attention and those who do. you can see which is which pretty quickly. thank you very much for the comprehensive and well articulate vlog.

  • @stardavies6202
    @stardavies6202 Před 7 měsíci

    Thank You Mark I Totally agree with you sadly it is all true due to all the programming & conditioning & traumas we have have been through I do not think many people are them "real" selves and most of us are "acting" many roles, including me, but am working on it!!! You are a Great teacher Bless you for sharing your info with everyone Stay Blessed

  • @boglarkatekenos4827
    @boglarkatekenos4827 Před 2 lety +2

    I needed to hear this today! Thank you for placing me back to a state of humility by reminding me why I am on the journey of a healer!

  • @gekiryudojo
    @gekiryudojo Před rokem +1

    Very thought provoking and fascinating video.

  • @curtismurray9793
    @curtismurray9793 Před 4 lety +4

    Great info once again Mark I like your comment that a good Psychologist is one who sees underneath the attention seeking behaviour

  • @sarahgilani2201
    @sarahgilani2201 Před 3 lety +1

    Just 1:39 minutes into the video and it is already starting to make so much sense!!!!

  • @lucjamaria
    @lucjamaria Před 4 lety +5

    Thank you for sharing your knowledge. Fantastic!

  • @beeyourselfcounselling6748

    Great oil/water story - I'll be using it in sessions!! Thanks :)

  • @jett888
    @jett888 Před 4 lety +5

    Thsnk you! I'm sharing this on my community page.❤

  • @Tripl3333
    @Tripl3333 Před 4 lety +3

    Damn....I mean I've watched quite a lot of your videos and they are like spot on..! for me. I really hope this helps the people in need out there.
    really thank you for your devotion and seriousness.

  • @jennifercarleton7550
    @jennifercarleton7550 Před 3 lety +2

    This series is genius! thank you so much :)

  • @freefall1536
    @freefall1536 Před 3 lety +2

    Thank you this was truly helpful

  • @PhysioFlagship
    @PhysioFlagship Před 2 lety

    Eye Opener ! Thank You for doing this !

  • @emotionalwisdomtools2617
    @emotionalwisdomtools2617 Před 3 lety +2

    Great information! Thanks!

  • @shirleykaye4344
    @shirleykaye4344 Před 4 lety +14

    This video explains a lot about how I have been trapped by certain men. As an only child, I received a great deal of attention from my parents as there was no competition for their focus. I'm curious to find out if being an only child predisposes a person to fall victim to others because they are trying to obtain the amount of attention that they received from their parents.

    • @Benjafish2008
      @Benjafish2008 Před 3 lety +1

      Rephrase: "I have ALLOWED myself to be trapped by certain men."

    • @jonathonray6198
      @jonathonray6198 Před 2 lety +1

      One possibility is that the only child absorbs the negative processes coming from the parents attention as well. So in one sense that kind of attention while they feel it’s helping them, it’s not. It’s like drinking coke, or coffee to satisfy thirst. You can be hooked on attention but not the right kind. It’s a negative seduction. Attachment with parents ideally leaves to trust and joy in other relationships too. So it’s like being trapped in loyalty to the mafia.

  • @meenakshisinghal5399
    @meenakshisinghal5399 Před 4 lety +1

    Dr your cross sectional view was amazing and enlightening. Thanks

  • @halah.2073
    @halah.2073 Před rokem

    Wow, this was so insightful. Thank you. I can't wait to listen to the one about safety and security.

  • @DoctorFatman
    @DoctorFatman Před 3 lety +2

    10:48 So that's why everyone was looking at me weird…
    Jokes aside, as a person with health issues, I love your channel!

  • @ABB14-11
    @ABB14-11 Před 3 lety +1

    VERY, VERY, VERY useful.

  • @user-dg8du2ep4s
    @user-dg8du2ep4s Před 4 měsíci

    This is mind opening!

  • @thecraftywitch510
    @thecraftywitch510 Před rokem

    Fantastic analogy. Great subject matter.
    Thanks Mark.

  • @normanspurgeon5324
    @normanspurgeon5324 Před 3 lety +2

    Thank you - very helpful-

  • @ernestberry-songsrestored5637

    Excellent.

  • @daisybee2138
    @daisybee2138 Před rokem

    Thank you for the knowledge xx.

  • @temsaida
    @temsaida Před 4 lety +4

    Thank you.

  • @jacquelinepuga8315
    @jacquelinepuga8315 Před 4 lety +1

    Thank you!

  • @rahulshastri9278
    @rahulshastri9278 Před 5 měsíci

    Extreamly valuable content

  • @aura7153
    @aura7153 Před 3 lety +1

    Please more episodes in this series !

  • @muskduh
    @muskduh Před 2 lety

    thanks for the video

  • @Mrblahx
    @Mrblahx Před 4 lety +1

    Thankyou so much

  • @dv123abc
    @dv123abc Před 2 lety

    Brilliant!

  • @indoororchidsandtropicals358

    Is the need to be needed what drives, for example, women who think they can "fix" a "damaged" man?

  • @elizabethli6758
    @elizabethli6758 Před 3 lety

    really love this small series, but where are the other episodes besides 1), 2) and 5) on the other channel???

  • @marcinekpomaranski
    @marcinekpomaranski Před 2 lety

    Amazing. Best regards from Poland :))))

  • @xeropunt5749
    @xeropunt5749 Před 4 lety +7

    I find alcohol increases my craving for attention exchange & frustrates me when others aren't so willing to "play".
    Sober, I can better put immediate satisfactions on the back burner, in favor of discipline & my challenging goals.
    Great vid, Mark! I was wondering if you used the human-givens approach...

    • @indoororchidsandtropicals358
      @indoororchidsandtropicals358 Před 3 lety +2

      Naltrexone or naloxone will give you the power back if you feel like you need a drink. Endorphin deficiency syndrome hasn't been proven but it makes perfect sense to me. These drugs which are usually used for opiate overdose, can help the brains of any type of addict feel more normal according to what I've read. Its oversimplified, but the just is that people who are addicts but don't yet know it or addicts who know they are, have lower levels of feel good chemicals and so when they find something that increases these..well its like the motor oil analogy, and the person soon learns they have no control over the substance. So essentially what these drugs do is make your brain sensitive enough for the natural feel good chemicals to actually satisfy the need to feel good that "natural rewards" would give a normal person.

    • @xeropunt5749
      @xeropunt5749 Před 3 lety +1

      @@indoororchidsandtropicals358
      Thank you, good to know. This was new for me. I'm not addicted to drinking, though. I feel too good sober, lol. Since this vid was about "attention", I was just pointing out that nothing increase my craving for attention like having a few drinks. I want to talk with my neighbors, find old friends, talk out any old grievances, to make everything pristine. Hard work has the opposite effect. The busy-ness fulfills me, the achievement satisfies me & I have no appetite/cravings for the previously much needed attention.

  • @antoinettemurphy6568
    @antoinettemurphy6568 Před 2 lety

    Very good video excellent

  • @robinrevell5873
    @robinrevell5873 Před 3 lety +1

    The love bombing in 1987 was lathered on liberally at age 19 and we were married in 9 months. Now 33 years later, 2020, the "love bombing" as I'm walking out the front door shows up as, "You'll be alone the rest of your life. No one will want you".

    • @RoseRed733
      @RoseRed733 Před 2 lety

      Seeing this 1 yr later. How are you doing?

    • @MarchGoldCoast
      @MarchGoldCoast Před rokem

      This is gaslighting.. "you are nothing without me".. At least love bombing would be "fake nice" for all the 5 minutes.. Hope awareness blesses your life that you can also pass on.. Peace 🙏✨

  • @manidas4789
    @manidas4789 Před 4 lety +3

    Very well explained. Can you please elaborate on those people who practice stone walling? What sort of need do they have?

  • @meditationvibration4259
    @meditationvibration4259 Před 4 lety +4

    been a victim of this.

  • @user-dg8du2ep4s
    @user-dg8du2ep4s Před 5 měsíci

    You have an Outstanding voice one of the best I have ever heard
    And I don't go along with the non state theory because Trance feels good
    So why not induce Trance as its more absorbing both physically and Pyschcology

  • @amc7568
    @amc7568 Před 4 lety +7

    I find it interesting how you use two people as being their own personal cult, with the Whole love bombing affair and I have many family members who are involved in cult like religion. Maybe it's for the attention they receive, because it's not for the biblical knowledge they receive. It's a high control group. Thank God I got out when I saw the Whole child abuse, suicides after their back room meetings. No thank you.
    Great video. Wonderful job and delivery.

  • @elizabethprocter9698
    @elizabethprocter9698 Před 4 lety +5

    At 18.40 you reference Jones Town ... sadly this has been proven to be mass murder, not suicide.

  • @carnivoroussarah
    @carnivoroussarah Před 3 lety

    What is the best treatment for CPTSD? Please, I need an answer. I'm desperate, my life is on the line.

    • @cathyhsu8840
      @cathyhsu8840 Před 3 lety +1

      @Sarah Gardner Search for Rewind Technique from David Muss. it helped me and hopefully you can benefit too.

  • @BIBLE-a-s-m-r
    @BIBLE-a-s-m-r Před 2 lety

    What’s a list of emotional needs?

  • @kayligo
    @kayligo Před 2 lety

    Do you offer online therapy sessions?

  • @mirjamw6665
    @mirjamw6665 Před rokem

    Engine metaphor thirst

  • @cherylm5002
    @cherylm5002 Před 3 lety +2

    Great video, as a survivor of childhood abuse, I ended up drinking gasoline, skill recovering from the trauma over trauma over trauma, thanks for your insights