Stephen Merchant Hits On Naomi Campbell and Nicole Scherzinger | The Jonathan Ross Show
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- čas přidán 18. 08. 2020
- Stephen Merchant shares his accidental party trip and tries out some pick-up lines on Naomi Campbell and Nicole Scherzinger.
Original Broadcast Date: 26 October 2013
Season 5, Episode 3.
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Stop embarrassing people on your show
I love the show but need new content quit the recycling
Anyone else feel sorry for the lassie on the end 😂😂😂... totally blanked.
I mean ... Shes not a looker, but sitting next to Nicole and Naomi is just too cruel!
Pmsl
i would have been relieved
She’s hot as well
How old is Naomi hot damn look at that chocolate godness.
Poor Nicole struggled to get the joke. Stephen is a cool guy.
@c_ait before that, when she literally didn't understand the reference about the wishes, and Naomi had to tell her. ;)
She got it but was trying to be funny back.
What was the joke about?
It wasn’t a joke. That’s why it hurt 😂
You can see she’s only used to people fawning over her
that first line is gold. I am sure i tried it on my wife but after we were married. Her disappointment was very hurtful.
Clearly wasn't gold if she didn't like it!
“With the pointiest eyes...... Steve”
This goggle-eyed thing...
Hes like judge doom of roger rabbit
"He's having a go steve"
Oh he's done you again!
Have you got a ruler Rick?
He’s done you again Steve he’s done you again
:-) Play a record!
He’s having a go, Steve 😆
Eyes that pop out of their head... Steve.
@@BenFM Have you got a ruler.. Rick?
3 cm?? How long is that? Drop your trousers
The reactions he got from Nicole and naomi are the same as I get from women. Unprovoked hatred 🤷 it's a skill 👌
HAHAHA
Well if you genuinely say things like that to women its not unprovoked.
well, it was very well-provoked :D :D
@@jaymercer4692 I'm guessing you would know.
@@jaymercer4692 depends on how you look too
“Cos you were at home with ya mam and ya dad”
'E's done ya again, Steve!
Oh it's getting a bit...
Weird innit
xD
‘Why didn’t you get ya mam an ya dad to clean the flat’
‘Ooooh he’s done you again Steve’
“Have you ever splashed out on a lady Steve?”
“No but I hope to one day... the right lady...”
How many will get that reference? Heard that line only a couple of days ago. lmao EDIT Having read some more comments, the answer is, lots!
nig87101 haha yeah it’s on the Karl vs Steve compilation too, which I’m fairly sure has been listened to by the same couple of thousand people an inordinate amount of times.
HE'S DONE YOU AGAIN STEVE!
It's the one with the most sticky out eyes ----Steve
Ha ha ha play a record.
Eyes bulging with imagined sexual escapades.
Eyes that pop outta their 'ead
...
...
Steve.
You're not as funny as Steve are you? Too obvious
@@martever2012 What?
@first name last name Haha, another witty one......Maybe he already has, what do you think of that?
Don't have a go at the eyes mate...
Stephen in naturally extremely hilarious. He must be way more famous than he is.
Disagree
He's quite famous!
@@dabadoo7631 nah i realise hes famous. I just don't think he's funny
no thanks
This is true. He's actually one of the only celebrities that is more famous than he is.
Long arms, gangly, It could have been your brother.
He's done you again Steve!
Honestly Steve
@@arturobandini4078 I don't smoke, that does.
I love how 20 years later people still post XFM references
Play a record!
M-manmoths?
Not quite 20 years
I wonder if he ever did get that 50p back
It was their magnum opus.
Aaahh yes. The “stare at yourself in the mirror” stage... I have been there lots of time.
"Yeah, I'm not chatting up the one on the end." Harsh.
Best pickup line ever... ''does this napkin smell like chloroform"
Never fails 😉
Why?
I always liked, "get in the trunk and keep quiet."
@@lamontviolante because bill Cosby was always good at his job
@@IwasabletoDisappearafterlitsen 😂😂
Poor girl at the end, I don’t know her name and I don’t think Steve did either
Was thinking the same... Embarrassing moment...
Who is she?
@@tobywhite5974 lewis hamilton..
Gary Barlow
Toby White It’s Laura Mvula
"The reason you woin't go on holiday, is cos you'll have to spend money!"
He’s done you again Steve hahahahaha
That bit about staring at yourself in a mirror when you’ve done drugs is SO funny and accurate, as if looking into your eyes is going to somehow make the effects wear off quicker 😂😂😂
'I was just thinking ... There's nobody else who looks like Steve'
who said this lol i'm new
@@OS-yg9fr Karl Pilkington on the xfm podcast
@@myeyesarespiders lol thanks i'll have to find where that is, sounds funny
@@OS-yg9fr it's on Spotify and CZcams
Except that alien from Men in Black.
The word is legs. Let's go back to mine and spread the word lol. Absolutely fantastic 🤣
I'm not having a go Steve, but...
Well now that I'm used to him it's not that odd
HE'S DONE YOU AGAIN MATE
I’m pretty sure they gave him mushrooms. Not marijuana.
Honestly, a single piece of chocolate got him like that? And he doesn’t strike me as someone who’s never smoked before
@@dragoxk4542 ive never heard of edibles hitting you that quick aswell
With all due respect you have no idea how strong they make edibles here in California
@@TRVBAL uh I've taken edibles (born and raised in cali) and it takes like 30 min for and edible to hit me, even if your tolerance is low.
Yeah there’s no way that was weed chocolate. I have low tolerance and I’m super susceptible to visuals when high and I had a chocolate in Seattle and It did fuck all to me other than make me tired after about 3 hours
That three wishes joke went straight over that planks head.
It was a bit she was doing....
They've been taught to Laugh onLy If theres payment InvoLve
@@nikhilmudaliar2501 a failed bit
"You mentioned about painting a picture"
"Yeah"
"I wouldn't paint a picture of that"
him and gervais has the same cadence and laughs at the same point
Steve "alright ladies, what can I get you to drink? What, you think I'm made of money? I meant half a mild or summut" Merchant
3 beautiful ladies and he only asks 2 of them flirtatious questions, that's savage
You already know who is his target...
2 beautiful ladies*
@Roas Metten wasnt grace jones a sex symbol to white people..lol and Laura Mvula isnt a grace jones look alike
I agree they are all gorgeous
@Roas Metten She's married
Stephen Merchant: I swear I’m not making this up
Also Stephen Merchant: I ate an edible and came up after 48 seconds
Dude, he is flirting with Naomi Campbell, he must have connections at higher places, with BETTER STUFF.
Ya, that struck me as bullshit too, but I think he was exaggerating for dramatic purposes.
"I was fine, for an hour and thirty seven minutes.." -Just not as funny.
The irony is he was trying to make a joke of it but it actually drove home the point.
I'm surprised your asking this steve....
I'm surprised you're saying your.
Twenty offers of marriage -- does that annoy ya, Steve?
He looks like someone who could get you into the Monarch in Camden for a pound off
"When you can get in places in camden FOR FREE" - Steve Merchant to pilkerrrs
Ha
We know you look weird, Steve and you know we know... like... there's no point pretending anymore...
4:06 you can easily imagine old modem sounds when Nicoles brain tries to understand that "pickup" line 😂
Yes!!!
I chuckled.
It was funny, adult humor funny!
Yeah, that's how edibles work, you eat them and then within 30 seconds you are tripping 😂
Has Nicole not figured out that she is taking part in a comedy section of a light entertainment/comedy show. What a nightmare. Still would though.
I can’t turn down free chocolate either 🤣
imagine having to work with someone as humourless as Scherzinger?
she is hot... humor is not required!
@@VikingFitness00 I’ve seen her appearance on Conan. Didn’t find her remotely funny. Conan saved what would have been a really dreary interview. She should stick to recording and doing concerts, and leave chat show appearances to people with actual personalities.
She is a pretentious American lol
@@reecegraves3738 I would just call her a pretentious person to avoid the implication that her pretentiousness is somehow connected to her country of origin.
Actually Nicole Scherzinger does Impressions and they pretty spot on Surprising yall don't know that 😂😂😂
It’s a good job you’ve lots of celebrity mates like Johnathan Ross too hang out with..
Ricky: "What??"
Steve: "ooh your best friend Jonathan??"
How is Jonathan Ross, alright?
@@Qmarine555 I thought his kids were gonna run out shouting out ‘uncle Ricky!’
“Steve, have you ever splashed out on a woman?”
No, but I hope to one day.
The right lady
@@yaakhee play a record
Before or after you go home?
I think he got his stunner in the end. Good for him, because he's a really cool guy. Nobody else could've made Karl's Diary so funny.
And the lady on the far right is still waiting for her pick up line
She's married
First time I ate a "brownie" I was mesmerised at how the bathroom tiles kept moving, and I also stared at myself in the mirror for ages, terrified I had to spend all my money on teeth repairs, because for some reason I thought they looked horrible
Was acid for me an I didn't know there was an old gas fire aluminium type an it had a dent it an I stared at it for at least 2 hours
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,z,awaaaaaaa
Sorry, to be clear, to took a THC brownie and the bathroom tiles were moving? Lmao
@@Zololololololotted yeah man, my tolerance is really low since I rarely smoke, and the guy who made them is a dealer, so the thc amount per piece was quite high lol
Erlend Flatin stop the cap
"we've organized to meet back at you"
Are these the girls who agreed to meet back at him on new years eve?
He really is his character from Hello Ladies because he totally ignored the last lady😂😂😂
Honestly Steve, he could be your brother.
There’s this.. there’s this thing in it
Are these the women that he was originally going to the BAFTA’s with but instead he brought Karl?
The woman on the end will remain one of Life's unsolved mysteries.... ;)
Her names Laura Mvula &
I don’t think her husband would agree.
@@mp71001 she’s a brilliant singer 😍😍😍
Eyes bulging with imagined riches
Loving the Ricky Gervais xfm quotes 🤣🤣
Hearing Wheatley talking about accidentally taking drugs is sure interesting
I see his eyes are still bulging with imagined riches.
Wheatley came back from space eh?
Omg they left out the other lady!!! 😂😂
"who are you?" Is a nasty qn for celebrities 😂
But merchant burnt her back 😀
Dude took a mushroom chocolate looking into his soul getting trapped in the mirror that's not weed LMFAO
same shit happens to me with edibles, it effects every1 differently
Steve, a fellow Bristolian.
Lived and went to the school right next to where my parents live in Hanham 😉
😂😂😂😂 The thumbnail.
1:40 he looks so scared haha
I can't hear Steve's voice and not think of Portal 2. Ahh the memories.
I loved watching him in Australia xx
I’m a licensed account manager , I promote worthy investment plans, in the likes of Forex, our local digital currencies and also mentor the blockchain technology, ever came across the word forex??
He’s actually very funny.
He's done you again Steve!😂 Play record!
He's havin' a go!
Eyes popping out of their head........Steve
His role in Big Bang Theory is basically not acted.... amazing
The xmas movie he just did on Netflix was a very nice piece of work.
Why are you having an attack on me? You're the one who's sad and lonely
do you remember when Jonanthan popped into the xfm show back in like 2004?
Pulled out his knob
03:18 .. exchange of nervous wtf is happening looks 😂
Here's 10P Call Your Mom And Tell Her The Ransom Is $50,000 Pounds
LMFAO !!!
Bet he wishes he had Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance now.
@surinam steve So... How addicted are you now??
@surinam steve What? I meant to the XFM podcasts lol. Was meant as a joke as most people who listen to them have the series on repeat.
l
Meanwhile...Martin Wells..on the table...trousers down...people just throwing him money
Naomi tried to clap back, but he definitely won that one 😂
Eyes that point out their head... Steve.
OMG, ... when he said someone offered him chocolate ... I wasn't thinking MJ. I was a little shocked that the reference might have been to NC and NS in the clip title? Phew!
That wasn’t Weed it was Mushrooms dude 😁
Mushrooms in chocolate?
🤣🤣 Merchant is a legend
3:45 "Hiiiii!"
How is Johnathan Ross? Alright?!
"I wondered how long it would be before his name would pop up Rick"
Do the little dance uncle rick
You do understand Nicole and Naomi were told turn down his silly chat up jokes, but the spread your legs chat up line was insane. The things people come up with. Again, in a party or a nightclub take nothing of no one (even if you know or recognise someone) apart from drinks from bartenders and hor d'oeuvres from servers, parties and nightclubs will be the place where you would find spiked and laced things the most. Why would someone come to a party with chocolate, come on now THINK.
That's good advice and I have heard never to take anything someone offers at a party because it could be spiked with drugs but my dumb ass would have fell for it too because I love chocolate lol 🤣
I spent an insane amount of time out in nightclubs and bars in my 20’s. Never once heard of someone spiking anything.
Why would people waste their drugs on people they don’t know?😂
When I was fresh out the army I was drinking with some buddies in my home town bar. I went for the lols up to the Mayor of that town (50+ year old woman, still pretty) and I asked her "in a panic" If I may borrow her phone to call Charlie that one of his angels had escaped - and kept a stern eye contact with her. She stood up, grabbed my hand and took me home. LOL good times
I don't think that line would work now or would it ?
@@anishussain7093 it's all about the delivery tbh
Left the woman on the right hanging🤣
And she initially rolled her eyes haha
shes the cutest one
The person who gave him the ‘chocolate’ is lucky they gave it to him, an American celeb who was doped unwittingly and then walked through a plate glass window? The lawsuit would be extensive and enormous
He was high so he probably don't even remember the person who gave him the chocolate so he couldn't sue them even if he wanted to lol 😂
I think this is a schtick now, I swear he’d be swimming in it. He’s so damn funny, I can imagine this happening on a weed brownie for those who don’t have a tolerance and yet could be mushrooms too but many are too quick to judge. We all know the feeling, anyone who knows Stephen and have comedy in them would love to be with him.
I went to rehab (I will not mention the name) and happened to be there with Naomi Campbell a decade or so ago and she’s a very nice woman. Man the stuff she’s been through.
Nicole and Naomi both do look incrediblly gorgeous 😍🥰
He was given a funny brownie 😂
love that thumbnail/title
Gonna love British chat up lines.
I don't think anything about them is particularly British
@@jaymercer4692 most of his fans who gave him the lines are british...
Wow Wheatley is back on earth :D
I love Steve but I really doubt an edible only took 48 seconds to kick in🤣
Yup, he must be shitting out his starter before the main arrives otherwise
Yep, it took 30 sec for me.
Mate he's not sitting there timing a drug he doesn't even know he's taken.
We r all different! Bodies absorb differently! I could down 10 pints n b merry! My mate looked at a drink n was stupid drunk even throwing up! N he was a tall fat bastard of a shit, so...
I wonder if comedians ever exaggerate for comedic effect?
I walked through a plate glass window in Sedona, Az.....same reason....
I love this guy..he's so funny
Muggage they didn't even bother with the 3rd girl!
cuz she's not as famous, no one's interested in a random, when u got naomi and nicole on the couch--it's television, they need ratings, c'mon now
And she thought he'd ask her! LOL
You should try the "you don't sweat much for a big lass" Steve- never fails !!
He's brilliant!
That was actually rude af ignoring the other woman
Pretty funny tho
@andy w yeah who the heck was that and what was wrong with her head?
Who Naomi the American model.
@@yliannavillarreal7528 what
@@Augfordpdoggie she’s bald and she has a hooded top on.
"45 seconds", this guy, and this whole laughing crowd, clearly never ate weed.
Don't quote something that wasn't said. Use 'these' instead.
On an empty stomach ingested drugs can hit quite fast
@@Living_the_Highlight It hits faster yes, but never faster than about 15 minutes, 45 seconds is not even enough for that shit to hit your stomach. Thats why is so dangerous to eat weed products right after your 1st bite, cuz it never hits instantly so you think "oh maybe i didnt have enough" and go for more, then 10 minutes later you are in a different dimension cuz you ate too much.
@@zegotinha1210 He was prob exaggerating but it's possible he felt the effects within 5-10 mins which would fly by once he's ingested it in a loud, noisy, party situation. The perception of time is relative to the individual and situation. That's where the phrase "life flashes before your eyes" comes from.
man have u never heard of exaggeration? it was for comedic effect
👏🏼👏🏼Brilliant, fellow Bristolian 🌻🌻🌻
If Halloween is the left leg, and Christmas is the right leg, can I meet you in Thanksgiving?