Anyone ever obsess so much about a real event in your past that you did, that it seems everywhere you go or anything you watch will send you a reminder of that event and makes you anxious and fearful
honestly i feel like this is what my ocd just can't detach from ... it feels so real, it feels like I'm exception from the rule and unlike everything else i truly did something wrong, its like my world centres around the event and my life will never be same!
Hey it’s okay! I’m going through the same thing myself and it feels like I feel relief for a second and then the next second there’s the weight of rocks in my chest. I don’t know what to do and I’m struggling so hard but we can fight through it together
Honestly, I feel exactly the same way. My ocd constant scans my memories to find anything that could be harmful. No one else thinks the things were bad at all, but to the ocd it is a huge deal and my life revolves against it
False memories are insane. I felt a memory was so traumatizing and insane that it ate away at me. Finally I broke down and talked to my little brother and he verified it never happened. That's when I realized my ocd was taking me to a very dark place
False memory scares the hell out of me. I can't believe how much ocd has morphed my innocent memories into something much more sinister. I even remember false thoughts/feelings about certain events
What bothers me is, how can I tell what's real from what's false? My memories used to be much more innocent, didn't bother me, or were non-existent, and then it started with one thing that became traumatic, and then it snowballed into 10 or even 20 things. Sometimes, some things bother me, and then it moves on to the next thing, and so on.
Hey I love you. You can't imagine how many people you saved from suicide with this video. You deserve the best in life. Same for all the OCD sufferers. Take care.
Who ever is suffering from real event ocd the cure is stop the fight to get rid of that thought, and learn to live with it! Stop looking for videos to stop it, pre much doing that is a compulsion in itself, I’ve been dealing with real event ever since last year March and the past few weeks I’ve let my hands down and stop the fight. No that doesn’t mean you’ve lost the fight, just means to stop fighting it, it slowly locks off and it fades away and when ever it comes up your just at peace with it and it doesn’t lock on as much, everyone can get through this! Good luck to everyone.
Thank You for making this video. You broke down exactly what I have been going through. I've had OCD for a majority of my life and this past time it felt like "no this is different" "you did something horrible" "how can i live with myself"
I've been going through therapy and getting help but I have dealt with guilt from a religious aspect of OCD and man it is absolutely terrible. I would not wish this upon literally anyone. It's frustrating when you feel like you on the outside life is great but you're in mental turmoil
The guilt is really bad It makes me feel like I'm the worst person ever and that I don't even deserve to die. Does anyone else get this thought or feeling
Thank you so much 💖 I really appreciate that you would take time in your life to help people out by making this video, it's truly a mark of a good person to do something like that, and everyone with OCD who you are helping really appreciates it!
Very detailed information. Word for word describes how I’ve been feeling for years now. Surprised to see how many of you guys out there also have been experiencing it. I’m ready to do whatever it takes to get my life back. Hope all of us are able to overcome this terrible annoying condition.
It’s amazing you put this up today. This is exactly what I’ve recently been struggling with. At the core of the issue is Guilt.. and I had not realized that!
Thank you so much for this talk. We need more of these explanations. I feel like I learned some things that I wasn't fully aware of till now. You really do understand the struggle and pointed out some very important things, the turmoil and hell that an OCD sufferer goes through every day and all of the trial questions they ask themselves. I ask myself these things every single day. Oh and I have subscribed to your Instagram.
You are not alone. It will tell you that your different and you absolutely positively did something and you’re gonna pay for it. What I’ve learned is that there are two different ways of knowing. You can have emotional knowledge or intellectual knowledge. You know intellectuals nothing happened but emotionally you feel certain it did. We like to think of ourselves as one person but we are not one person. We are a system of many different parts that has to live with one another. The front part of your brain is intellectual but it literally gives you a different story than the emotional midbrain. Seriously the fact that we refer to ourselves as “one person” is just a concept so we can speak about it easily. Think of it this way, you look at a car and say that’s a car. But a car is hundreds of different machines that each function individually. You can take the seat out of a car just the same as you can take a lobe from your brain and live. That’s a lobotomy. What you refer to as you is scientifically multiple yous. And they all have their own opinion
This past month I’ve been struggling with this. I always watched videos on pure O ocd but there was always a deep feeling that I wish there was a diagnosis that applied to something that I actually did. It has been so relieving to find out about Real Event OCD. I know that simply finding this video isn’t the cure, and I most likely have months to go before I recover, and I may even relapse in the future. But it feels good to have some sense of security for even a moment.
Happy belated Birthday Rob! I have been struggling with Harm OCD - False Memory - primarily from the past for 30 years. Very similar to how you describe in the video, with slight variations. I am just starting to read your reading list. Thank you for the work you are doing, it is beyond helpful for so many suffers.
I have been having this weird memories of a tiny bad thing that I did butt my thoughts keep making it seem as if it was big deal now whenever I try to relax or do something positive it keeps haunting me. But thank God I found this video and that i am alive to see this day
The part where you talked about not wanting your kids to do the same thing as you...that’s me! I am terrified of my future children doing the same. I feel like I am corrupt because of my past awful behaviour and that I have bad genes that will pass the behaviour to the children.
Please watch Oliver’s video on chronic guilt and read the comments on the posts above where I break down what’s needed for recovery in the terms of reading and videos to watch related to this subject. Hope you find helpful 😊
Ive got this overwhelming feeling that i have done something such taboo. Its been with my for 14 months now. It actually started from seeing a horrible word and now ita made me believe i have done something more sinister that i have no memory of. The thing is ive cone to believe it as the rational side of my brain never wins. So now its just spiralled out of control to what the worst possible outcomes will be. Its gone from this intial feeling to being arrested and my life being over. Its terrifying!
@@OCDRecovery thank you i will give that a watch. I know this is asking for reassurance but do you think this is ocd? I cant seem to find anyone who has experienced what i have. Thanks
Wow I didn't know other people suffer this way. I'm starting to think after watching some of your videos that I also suffer from different kinds of OCD. Guilt and shame is a big thing with me for a long time now. But I've been dealing with various intrusive thoughts since I was 17. Some intrusive thoughts I didn't get until I was 25. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2016 after I went to the psyche ward. I didn't learn my thoughts were intrusive thoughts or even knew that was a thing. And I really believe they diagnosed me with schizophrenia simply to start me on meds. But I'm missing so many key things with that I never felt that diagnosis was correct. Since stumbling on this channel so much people have said here sound just like me. And for the first time in my life I feel like I may have found what's actually wrong with me. And also for the first time, hearing other people talk on these subjects I have a small ray of hope in what's been a deep dark hell since I was 17. The next time I see a psychologist I'm going to ask them to do a re evaluation on me for OCD. Because all this stuff is like hearing stories that perfectly describe my issues. I never felt that way watching videos on people with scizophrenia. But damn the chronic guilt and shame, compulsions, harm OCD and pocd, real event and false event like man all these things I full heartedly relate to. In the end I just wanted to say thanks. Because of these videos I now can properly address this with my mental health professionals and hopefully get treated finally for the right thing. And I have the deepest amount of gratitude for you guys posting these videos as it literally has pulled me out of some suicidal depression I've had for months now. I finally feel I can start moving in the right direction now due to information that's completely new to me that I've gained from this channel.
Hi man ! I have also decided to accept everything. Today I am going to do my toughest exposure. I neither have an OCD specialist nor a community. CZcams is the only OCD community I've got.
@@ElizabethGonzalez-jt7ns I am usually overwhelmed by life these days. So I don’t know how I am doing. Just living moment to moment. Not trying to figure out what’s gonna happen or what has happened. How are you doing ? And by the way, since I wrote this comment, I have joined the “OCD Recovery” Facebook group. It’s free
@@SKRithvik ... I’m so sorry to hear that. Trust me when I say, that I know exactly what you’re going through. It’s very very tough and I am also taking it one day at a time. Praying, and hoping... wishing all these bad thoughts away. I am struggling with “real event” ocd. What about you?
@@ElizabethGonzalez-jt7ns I am sorry to hear that Elizabeth. I know that it’s very tough. Eventually, we need to live with the uncertainty and other feelings we don’t like. I have a combination of False Memory OCD + Harm OCD + ROCD(although I am in a better place right now after accepting a heartbreak). There are periodic episodes of Paranoia as well. I have been reading Mark Freeman’s “The Mind Workout” and have been trying to manually put my awareness on things that I value. It’s very tough. Physical sensations are very uncomfortable but I do recovery work because doing compulsions is no longer an option.
Are there any cases of this type of thing happening post-natal? I feel like this is what I'm going through. But my partner thinks I'm suffering from postnatal depression.
After depression because of mental abuse for years then fear of lockdowns along came anxiety and it brought up och about blinking to much saliva fears from my childhood. Was making good progress then I had a bad fall and hurt my back. Now its as if my recovery has went back.
Hi, thanks for the video. I’m getting worried at the minute because I’m scared I might have done something inappropriate to my cat. I don’t want to have done something, but I just don’t know if it’s real or if my mind has fabricated it. Is there any hints of distinguishing a real memory from a false one ?
I have real event ocd and wanna know how to change your perspective to living with it instead of trying to get rid of it and make more compulsions Anyone going through same thing?
Hey you are doing a great job but I have one doubt on false memory my doubt is that these false memories which produces guilt shame regret or can cause any harm only happens when we are in depression stress or we already have OCD or we have eye witness any accident or crime or in generally also when we absolutely fine these false memories of guilt and shame can occur
I've been struggling with this ocd for the past 4 years. It switches alot though, between this specific type, Religious ocd, contamination and self harm or harming others. It comes and goes and with different intensities, especially when I'm finally starting to move forward in my life, the thoughts come back intensely and just constantly torments me.
I have the same. I got happy I got relief 2 days ago because I "figured it out" and was ready to forgive myself and move on and suddenly it threw at me some heavier weight.
I'm a teenager and this shot took 3 years of my life. I've been told several times not to worry since I didn't do anything wrong but I'm so scared that I might have done something horrible even tho I know that I didn't. I'm doing better but the anxiety is still there. I wanted to take my life bc if this
Remain positive, things will improve! I have also been suffering from chronic guilt and anxiety and sometimes I feel like I can't recover. However, you always have to remain positive because things will improve eventually! You just need to work hard to achieve it. You should speak to your family and people you trust and they can help you, and work from there.
@Muhammad-pz1bp time has passed and my mental health has improved a lot but I still have little obsessions over other things but I've forced myself to stop seeking reassurance. You can do this!
@@unknownuser4879 i also have a scary theme that maybe i caused suffering and death to a dog , false memory OCD is the worst i think , it make images look real , and the anxiety make us feel it real .
I have been suffering from chronic guilt and anxiety from false and real event OCD. Sometimes the events are just events that I don't think ever happened at all and some are events that did happen that feel like they are being morphed into something else. I am ready to start recovering but I'm not sure how to start. I have already spoken to many people, but I am not really sure how to start the recovery process or how to start handling these thoughts. Any advice?
Exactly where I was. We can help you with this unconditional self acceptance gets under it. 📧 phil@ocdrecovery.com for info The event is irrelevant, you don’t need to work it out, whether it happened or not makes no difference.
Ok mine is attacking an incident that occurred probably at the age of 15-17 but it keeps pushing the age group older and older to made me feel like my fears are true. Is it possible for it to attack memories at this age group as well?
You literally described me. Thank you so much. I have real events and false memories but the false memories are way worse. Can false memories come from nowhere and be quite specific?
@@user-uy5sq4lf1h They're hard to determine whether they're real or not because you can't go back to check the past, but logically they wouldn't have happened. OCD keeps you confused and wondering however.
I think it might be false memory OCD currently for me I'm not sure. When I go outside and I'm near someone I will get an intrusive thought about harming them out of nowhere (pushing the woman I just saw into the road) , then I will wonder if my movements that followed were me trying to hurt someone, even though they were harmless movements for example I may make a small movement backwards, and then my brain will say what if you were trying to push that lady into the road? , then I go home and replay the movements I made over and over to try and get an answer about whether I tried kill someone (that is what OCD is accusing me of) My intrusive thoughts are very frequent and it's connecting the thoughts to my movements. Is this false memory OCD? It's ruining my life.
I will get the thought too while I am in the middle of making a movement which makes me feel like I was trying to hurt someone. It so scary and I hate it. What is going on?
Can real event OCD also be something that happened to you in the past, or something in the past that you didn't do right and you keep obsessing about it and want to make it right, or else you'll be punished eventually?
@@Eezkiel I have this currently as well and it’s a roller coaster sometimes I feel like I use this as an excuse and just want to be punished. But I want to say you’re not alone!
Thank you so much, im 16 and I’m so lost it’s been like this for over a year I haven’t been able to enjoy myself, I feel like I don’t deserve it, how do I get help
Holy fuck this was me, I used to blame myself for my first kiss at 15, and convinced myself it was wrong because I wasn’t 16, yes crazy I know, 😢to the point I was going to go to the police… love the video And yes I still fight ocd daily❤❤ Love and peace
Please help. Could this apply to having a memory or thought and you start to obsess that something horrible happened to you vs you doing something horrible?
@@OCDRecovery what do you mean by that? I’m terrified of this thought that someone hurt me and im going to wrongfully accuse them because I know it didn’t happen. It’s so scary and I feel like I’ve never heard anyone talk about this kind of OCD
I think it also comes from an expectation of one self to always have to be ' good' . In my case , growing up in a left wing and christian family has made me want to reach the unattainable of being all good at all times. Which is of course inhumane , as you're always gonna fuck up one way or the other.I guess other people who didn't grow up with these strict values, will find it a lot easier to accept themselves for what they are.And are therefor not so vulnerable for ocd guilt attacks..
Is guilt always there in such OCD ? Is there a possibility that at one point where its like "alright, if the thought says this, then it must be true" but there is no guilt but just feeling numb ?
Aishwarya Muttagi you won’t be able to workout feelings to obtain certainty, you need to get used to not answering them and not trying to work them out for one.
Hi! This is litterly me. I've done such horrible things and I can't move on. I feel like a monster. I feel so guilty for all these diffrent things some worse then other. I'm litterly crying inside right now seeing this video. I just want to be a happy person again, I've had so much therapies already and all work for short amount of times before falling back into ocd again. My wife is pregnant of our 2nd child and I want to be there for them, I'm just so disconnected because of my ocd and I hate myself for it. Is there anyway we can get in touch l? I'm from the Netherlands btw I hope that's not an issue?
Oliver covers guilt and shame in great detail in his video on the topic on this channel. I also suggest watching the three part video by Albert Ellis on CZcams on guilt and shame it was a game changer for me along with the books on our reading list!
Can anyone help me, it’s been over a year since this ‘night’ where I think I may of done something awful to a female (r**e), it came after many ‘mistakes’ with females that affected me but after speaking to my housemate he said they were part of growing up, I walked home intoxicated and on my own and feel I grabbed someone and committed the act, nothings came of the night but I did start to find my own evidence, what do you all advise, Its affected my life so much I can’t hardly leave my bed, any suggestions please
You are not alone. It will tell you that your different and you absolutely positively did something and you’re gonna pay for it. What I’ve learned is that there are two different ways of knowing. You can have emotional knowledge or intellectual knowledge. You know intellectuals nothing happened but emotionally you feel certain it did. We like to think of ourselves as one person but we are not one person. We are a system of many different parts that has to live with one another. The front part of your brain is intellectual but it literally gives you a different story than the emotional midbrain. Seriously the fact that we refer to ourselves as “one person” is just a concept so we can speak about it easily. Think of it this way, you look at a car and say that’s a car. But a car is hundreds of different machines that each function individually. You can take the seat out of a car just the same as you can take a lobe from your brain and live. That’s a lobotomy. What you refer to as you is scientifically multiple yous. And they all have their own opinion
I've been obsessing a memory for this week I feel so guilty so I'm punishing myself by starving myself, even if I tried to eat I wouldn't be able to stomach it But I feel like I've forgotten somethings pertaining to that particular memory, because if I really did do that then why do I feel such disgust at the thought? And why didn't I feel guilty all the days after? Did I just do it and forget it? The uncertainty is killing me If I accept it too, I won't be able to take it because that's not the type of person I am, I will never be able to look people in the eye again But I cant help the guilt and anxiety either way What I do in these situations is confess and get reassurance but this time I'm not going to do it Do you suggest that I accept it anyway?
@@hailseitan3876 I don't really know how to explain it The first part of it really did happen and that part isn't bad, its everything after that, that I'm unsure of I feel like I'm just trying to find an excuse and it really did happen but I'm denying it
@@LoveLove-mi9ne I’m going through this exact experience. I just don’t know if I’ve done something wrong or not. I wouldn’t want to have done the thing I’m scared about but it’s like I just don’t know
@@jaedenmk5544 hiii I don't know much about all of this so I have no idea of what to say But I am doing better. I'm still anxious but the guilt is better,still there but manageable So there's hope😊 I will be seeing someone about all this though How about you?
You are not alone. It will tell you that your different and you absolutely positively did something and you’re gonna pay for it. What I’ve learned is that there are two different ways of knowing. You can have emotional knowledge or intellectual knowledge. You know intellectuals nothing happened but emotionally you feel certain it did. We like to think of ourselves as one person but we are not one person. We are a system of many different parts that has to live with one another. The front part of your brain is intellectual but it literally gives you a different story than the emotional midbrain. Seriously the fact that we refer to ourselves as “one person” is just a concept so we can speak about it easily. Think of it this way, you look at a car and say that’s a car. But a car is hundreds of different machines that each function individually. You can take the seat out of a car just the same as you can take a lobe from your brain and live. That’s a lobotomy. What you refer to as you is scientifically multiple yous. And they all have their own opinion
One night in my childhood my father unconsiously started rubbing my leg as he thought dt it was my mother's leg and nw I am suffering from the guilt dt y I didn't take back my leg immediately?
@@OCDRecovery I acted on some harmless intrusive thought in the past because of sudden urge by doing choirs like washing dishes and got an image of cutting myself but I touched the knife thats all, dont know why, I deeply didnt have intentions to cut myself. And now Im scared because I acted on urge somewhow and its maybe "proof" that Im more able to fully act on them some day. And maybe its proof I dont have ocd. This disease is horrible. 2 days ago I thought I got relief, forgave myself and can move on but its suddenly found some another thing where I can feel now there is really no way out of that. And Im stuck. The wrost is I work as a nurse. I thought I will have ocd under control but it has destroyed my professional life as here is lot of triggering things. At the end thank you for the video and Im sorry just it doesnt have any polish subtitles to show it to my family becausw they dont get it. Would like to meet you in person and other people like us because I feel alone with that.
But what if you actually did something criminal and was never convicted for it? In that case I have a reason to live in guilt and fear because I deserve nothing more than that.
You are not alone. It will tell you that your different and you absolutely positively did something and you’re gonna pay for it. What I’ve learned is that there are two different ways of knowing. You can have emotional knowledge or intellectual knowledge. You know intellectuals nothing happened but emotionally you feel certain it did. We like to think of ourselves as one person but we are not one person. We are a system of many different parts that has to live with one another. The front part of your brain is intellectual but it literally gives you a different story than the emotional midbrain. Seriously the fact that we refer to ourselves as “one person” is just a concept so we can speak about it easily. Think of it this way, you look at a car and say that’s a car. But a car is hundreds of different machines that each function individually. You can take the seat out of a car just the same as you can take a lobe from your brain and live. That’s a lobotomy. What you refer to as you is scientifically multiple yous. And they all have their own opinion
"Humans are designed to fight and be violent." You are wrong about this Robert. Do you see claws on our hands? Are our teeth sharp? Is our skin thick enough to resist penetration even by blunt objects? Would a person who was raised by a compassionate and accepting family in a strong and tolerant community - who wasn't conditioned into reacting with hatred and aggression by means of their reliance on group respect or warped by fear, trauma or the fear and trauma of the generations before them - be at all likely to raise a fist against another human because they wanted something? The last question is not rhetorical, I am genuinely interested in your answer. What you said here is based on a fallacious appeal to nature that started a couple hundred years ago after the academic acceptance of evolution. It was propagated by those seeking increased power through the emerging capitalist system, who used biased biologists and anthropologists - selecting "evidence" to back up speculation, possibly with financial incentive - to convince people that humanity tends towards violence and aggressive competition by nature and evolved that way: therefore it is natural and acceptable that success be achieved by stepping over the bodies of failures. In reality our brains are designed for co-operation, not violence. Our ability to work together is and has always been immensely more important to our survival (as groups and individuals) than our ability to physically overpower each other or rival groups, and so it follows that this is the dominant factor in the evolution of our brains. The prevalence of inter-personal violence as we know it today - and eventually war - most likely came as the result of the wealth and social hierarchy that followed agriculture, construction and therefore concentrated population centers and the large-scale storing of foods less than 10,000 years ago. There wasn't much power to struggle for before that and violence in any community would be a great risk not only to the individuals involved but to the whole group, which - along with inherent empathy and powerful fear of social rejection - meant that individuals would have little incentive to carry out violent acts and peaceful resolution of interpersonal conflicts would have been a high social priority. Likewise it would have been quite unlikely for any community to see more reward than risk in the prospect of violent conflict with another community. Even the existence of psychopaths would not have resulted in much violence at all back then because they would be incentivized in a manner similar to others, and their own brains' risk/reward calculations would rarely lead them to fighting or murder because where is the reward without wealth or power? I like what you are doing and hope you keep it up, but the "red in tooth and claw" myth is pseudo-scientific and it is surprising and very disappointing that you don't know this, especially given the subject of your practice.
@@Alritealritealrite A lot of mostly vegetarian species have eyes in the front of their heads, for example almost all primates because sight is the most honed sense and focused vision is useful not only for predators, there is only one primate who is an obligate predator. We ate mostly fruit and vegetables before we developed complex communities and hunting tools, this is evidenced by our teeth. Imagine you had no tools at all, then imagine trying to eat the flesh of a dead animal. Not happening. That was a long, long time of us communicating and working together. That whole time we would have been absolutely terrified of so many of the animals living on the ground (huge hyenas and sabre-toothed cats etc etc), hence why we spent so much time in the trees and are natural climbers. We were certainly Not apex predators, not even for a long time after tools and even after cities, because other things still ate us. Arguably there is no such thing as an apex predator nowadays, because there's always some c*** that wants to find out what one tastes like and only needs money to do so. We certainly have the most immediate power nowadays, but my point was not about what we can do with our tools or intelligence now (or for the last 50,000 years), and neither was Robert's. Both of our points were about how evolution made us.
Anyone ever obsess so much about a real event in your past that you did, that it seems everywhere you go or anything you watch will send you a reminder of that event and makes you anxious and fearful
honestly i feel like this is what my ocd just can't detach from ... it feels so real, it feels like I'm exception from the rule and unlike everything else i truly did something wrong, its like my world centres around the event and my life will never be same!
Everyone feels like they are the exception to the rule, if we didn’t it wouldn’t have much of a grip.
Hey it’s okay! I’m going through the same thing myself and it feels like I feel relief for a second and then the next second there’s the weight of rocks in my chest. I don’t know what to do and I’m struggling so hard but we can fight through it together
15 people liked this comment. Trust, you aren't the exception. Best wishes to you, God bless
Honestly, I feel exactly the same way. My ocd constant scans my memories to find anything that could be harmful. No one else thinks the things were bad at all, but to the ocd it is a huge deal and my life revolves against it
we’re all going to get through it! hugs to everyone
False memories are insane. I felt a memory was so traumatizing and insane that it ate away at me. Finally I broke down and talked to my little brother and he verified it never happened. That's when I realized my ocd was taking me to a very dark place
False memory scares the hell out of me. I can't believe how much ocd has morphed my innocent memories into something much more sinister. I even remember false thoughts/feelings about certain events
We can help you. We have a webinar coming up specifically on recovering from false memory OCD if you are interested 📧 phil@ocdrecovery.com
@ selenawarren9142
When you say False thoughts and feeling , can you elaborate. I swear I think I am suffering from that. 😢
What bothers me is, how can I tell what's real from what's false? My memories used to be much more innocent, didn't bother me, or were non-existent, and then it started with one thing that became traumatic, and then it snowballed into 10 or even 20 things. Sometimes, some things bother me, and then it moves on to the next thing, and so on.
@@batuliejalloh7085 I think they mean they had false memories about bad things they thought or felt. I think I suffer from this aswell
Hey I love you. You can't imagine how many people you saved from suicide with this video. You deserve the best in life. Same for all the OCD sufferers. Take care.
Who ever is suffering from real event ocd the cure is stop the fight to get rid of that thought, and learn to live with it! Stop looking for videos to stop it, pre much doing that is a compulsion in itself, I’ve been dealing with real event ever since last year March and the past few weeks I’ve let my hands down and stop the fight. No that doesn’t mean you’ve lost the fight, just means to stop fighting it, it slowly locks off and it fades away and when ever it comes up your just at peace with it and it doesn’t lock on as much, everyone can get through this! Good luck to everyone.
@@sns595 hey bro been alright I guess life’s doing it’s thing, still get the thought, any more tips to not have it so locked on?
@@sns595 Cheers man unlucky you relapse bro, always got room for improvement! Until then peace
@@sns595 Broooo 😍😍 can imagine ay can’t wait til I can get a month of heaven would be awesome and fulfilling, maybe one day 🤞🤞🤞
@@postalfude7936 hey I think I could use your help. Is there any way I could contact you?
@@leonardrichards3778 I don’t know how but can you message on CZcams or email maybe
Thank You for making this video. You broke down exactly what I have been going through. I've had OCD for a majority of my life and this past time it felt like "no this is different" "you did something horrible" "how can i live with myself"
I've been going through therapy and getting help but I have dealt with guilt from a religious aspect of OCD and man it is absolutely terrible. I would not wish this upon literally anyone. It's frustrating when you feel like you on the outside life is great but you're in mental turmoil
The guilt is really bad It makes me feel like I'm the worst person ever and that I don't even deserve to die. Does anyone else get this thought or feeling
Yeah i feel you :/
Yup I feel you man
Yes, me too
How are you doing now with real event ocd? Did it get better? I’m struggling with this now.
@Alex O'Toole … I would suggest you to try therapy without meds, first. And see how that goes.
Greatly distilled insights. I think this is exactly what I need - thank you!
This honestly has saved my life. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much 💖 I really appreciate that you would take time in your life to help people out by making this video, it's truly a mark of a good person to do something like that, and everyone with OCD who you are helping really appreciates it!
This was done brilliantly. Working with those struggling with OCD….this will be used to help them for sure. Well done sir.
Thank you from the deepest corners of my heart
Very detailed information. Word for word describes how I’ve been feeling for years now. Surprised to see how many of you guys out there also have been experiencing it. I’m ready to do whatever it takes to get my life back. Hope all of us are able to overcome this terrible annoying condition.
It’s amazing you put this up today. This is exactly what I’ve recently been struggling with. At the core of the issue is Guilt.. and I had not realized that!
This is spot on advice
Thank you so much for this talk. We need more of these explanations. I feel like I learned some things that I wasn't fully aware of till now. You really do understand the struggle and pointed out some very important things, the turmoil and hell that an OCD sufferer goes through every day and all of the trial questions they ask themselves. I ask myself these things every single day. Oh and I have subscribed to your Instagram.
You are not alone. It will tell you that your different and you absolutely positively did something and you’re gonna pay for it. What I’ve learned is that there are two different ways of knowing. You can have emotional knowledge or intellectual knowledge. You know intellectuals nothing happened but emotionally you feel certain it did. We like to think of ourselves as one person but we are not one person. We are a system of many different parts that has to live with one another. The front part of your brain is intellectual but it literally gives you a different story than the emotional midbrain. Seriously the fact that we refer to ourselves as “one person” is just a concept so we can speak about it easily. Think of it this way, you look at a car and say that’s a car. But a car is hundreds of different machines that each function individually. You can take the seat out of a car just the same as you can take a lobe from your brain and live. That’s a lobotomy. What you refer to as you is scientifically multiple yous. And they all have their own opinion
This past month I’ve been struggling with this. I always watched videos on pure O ocd but there was always a deep feeling that I wish there was a diagnosis that applied to something that I actually did. It has been so relieving to find out about Real Event OCD. I know that simply finding this video isn’t the cure, and I most likely have months to go before I recover, and I may even relapse in the future. But it feels good to have some sense of security for even a moment.
Glad you found it helpful 😊
Thank you for posting
I just found this community and than you so much for making these videos
You are very welcome!
Happy belated Birthday Rob! I have been struggling with Harm OCD - False Memory - primarily from the past for 30 years. Very similar to how you describe in the video, with slight variations. I am just starting to read your reading list. Thank you for the work you are doing, it is beyond helpful for so many suffers.
Does he have a list somewhere or do you mean what he mentioned in the video?
@@jonathongoldie1. how to stop making yourself miserable about anything- Albert Ellis
2. Myth of self esteem- Albert Ellis
Very well said in your video. Horrible ever changing OCD now for 33 years here.
I have been having this weird memories of a tiny bad thing that I did butt my thoughts keep making it seem as if it was big deal now whenever I try to relax or do something positive it keeps haunting me. But thank God I found this video and that i am alive to see this day
Unconditonal self acceptance gets under it
mee tooo
The part where you talked about not wanting your kids to do the same thing as you...that’s me! I am terrified of my future children doing the same. I feel like I am corrupt because of my past awful behaviour and that I have bad genes that will pass the behaviour to the children.
Please watch Oliver’s video on chronic guilt and read the comments on the posts above where I break down what’s needed for recovery in the terms of reading and videos to watch related to this subject. Hope you find helpful 😊
@@OCDRecovery Hi. I know this video is about a year old but where is Oliver’s video on chronic guilt ? I would really like to view it
@@g-era8998 we are currently redoing those and uploading new ones soon.
@@OCDRecovery Great. Can’t wait. Thanks for the reply
Yess utter utter acceptance i love this video 😍
Been dealing with this from time to time during months. It's horrible!!
thank you sir.. i struggle with terrible ocd for most of my life.
Ive got this overwhelming feeling that i have done something such taboo. Its been with my for 14 months now. It actually started from seeing a horrible word and now ita made me believe i have done something more sinister that i have no memory of. The thing is ive cone to believe it as the rational side of my brain never wins. So now its just spiralled out of control to what the worst possible outcomes will be. Its gone from this intial feeling to being arrested and my life being over. Its terrifying!
Watch Oliver’s video on this channel on taboo ocd
@@OCDRecovery thank you i will give that a watch.
I know this is asking for reassurance but do you think this is ocd? I cant seem to find anyone who has experienced what i have. Thanks
Reassurance and you spotted it when you said “I know this is reassurance” you need to keep an eye on these compulsions.
Amen extremely helpful 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Thank you. Subscribed.
Wow I didn't know other people suffer this way. I'm starting to think after watching some of your videos that I also suffer from different kinds of OCD. Guilt and shame is a big thing with me for a long time now. But I've been dealing with various intrusive thoughts since I was 17. Some intrusive thoughts I didn't get until I was 25. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2016 after I went to the psyche ward. I didn't learn my thoughts were intrusive thoughts or even knew that was a thing. And I really believe they diagnosed me with schizophrenia simply to start me on meds. But I'm missing so many key things with that I never felt that diagnosis was correct. Since stumbling on this channel so much people have said here sound just like me. And for the first time in my life I feel like I may have found what's actually wrong with me. And also for the first time, hearing other people talk on these subjects I have a small ray of hope in what's been a deep dark hell since I was 17. The next time I see a psychologist I'm going to ask them to do a re evaluation on me for OCD. Because all this stuff is like hearing stories that perfectly describe my issues. I never felt that way watching videos on people with scizophrenia. But damn the chronic guilt and shame, compulsions, harm OCD and pocd, real event and false event like man all these things I full heartedly relate to. In the end I just wanted to say thanks. Because of these videos I now can properly address this with my mental health professionals and hopefully get treated finally for the right thing. And I have the deepest amount of gratitude for you guys posting these videos as it literally has pulled me out of some suicidal depression I've had for months now. I finally feel I can start moving in the right direction now due to information that's completely new to me that I've gained from this channel.
Hi man ! I have also decided to accept everything. Today I am going to do my toughest exposure. I neither have an OCD specialist nor a community. CZcams is the only OCD community I've got.
How are you doing friend?
@@ElizabethGonzalez-jt7ns I am usually overwhelmed by life these days. So I don’t know how I am doing. Just living moment to moment. Not trying to figure out what’s gonna happen or what has happened. How are you doing ? And by the way, since I wrote this comment, I have joined the “OCD Recovery” Facebook group. It’s free
@@SKRithvik ... I’m so sorry to hear that. Trust me when I say, that I know exactly what you’re going through. It’s very very tough and I am also taking it one day at a time. Praying, and hoping... wishing all these bad thoughts away. I am struggling with “real event” ocd. What about you?
@@ElizabethGonzalez-jt7ns I am sorry to hear that Elizabeth. I know that it’s very tough. Eventually, we need to live with the uncertainty and other feelings we don’t like. I have a combination of False Memory OCD + Harm OCD + ROCD(although I am in a better place right now after accepting a heartbreak). There are periodic episodes of Paranoia as well. I have been reading Mark Freeman’s “The Mind Workout” and have been trying to manually put my awareness on things that I value. It’s very tough. Physical sensations are very uncomfortable but I do recovery work because doing compulsions is no longer an option.
@@SKRithvik ... is that book helping you? Is it a good read?
Your so brave thankyou
Are there any cases of this type of thing happening post-natal? I feel like this is what I'm going through. But my partner thinks I'm suffering from postnatal depression.
After depression because of mental abuse for years then fear of lockdowns along came anxiety and it brought up och about blinking to much saliva fears from my childhood. Was making good progress then I had a bad fall and hurt my back. Now its as if my recovery has went back.
Guilt latches on by making me feel im a coward and in the past not standing up for myself in certain situations in my past that i regret
I honestly fear there’s no help and that I’m doomed to suffer, and agonize from this condition, I am terrified
There is tons of #hope
Very good video.subscribed👍
Hi, thanks for the video. I’m getting worried at the minute because I’m scared I might have done something inappropriate to my cat. I don’t want to have done something, but I just don’t know if it’s real or if my mind has fabricated it. Is there any hints of distinguishing a real memory from a false one ?
I think no one will write you that because it can be reassurance seeking and thats bad
I have these thoughts as well together with strong anxiety it brings events from the past to cause me guilt and other feelings.
I have real event ocd and wanna know how to change your perspective to living with it instead of trying to get rid of it and make more compulsions
Anyone going through same thing?
Check out Michael J Greenberg
thank you so much - can you do a ocd intrusive urges or false feelings on wanting to do something that you don't want to
Will do!
@@OCDRecovery thank you so much
I used to be a drunk and didn’t treat my family the best. I’m
Sober now
I feel
Chronic guilt and makes me so extremely sad glad I found this
Well done on sobriety!
Thank you!!!!!
I've been suffering with this for years
Hey you are doing a great job but I have one doubt on false memory my doubt is that these false memories which produces guilt shame regret or can cause any harm only happens when we are in depression stress or we already have OCD or we have eye witness any accident or crime or in generally also when we absolutely fine these false memories of guilt and shame can occur
It feels like I have to convince myself that I didn't do something that I really didn't do which is insane smh 🥺
I've been struggling with this ocd for the past 4 years.
It switches alot though, between this specific type, Religious ocd, contamination and self harm or harming others.
It comes and goes and with different intensities, especially when I'm finally starting to move forward in my life, the thoughts come back intensely and just constantly torments me.
I have the same. I got happy I got relief 2 days ago because I "figured it out" and was ready to forgive myself and move on and suddenly it threw at me some heavier weight.
@@elarkdjd8377 it's a constant struggle man, but you only lose when you give up.
Nothing lasts forever
Do you still plan to do a video on OCD and schizophrenia? I think I remember you mentioning it. I could be wrong.
Jonathon Goldie yes I will covering this topic.
OCD Recovery great! Can’t wait to hear!
I'm a teenager and this shot took 3 years of my life. I've been told several times not to worry since I didn't do anything wrong but I'm so scared that I might have done something horrible even tho I know that I didn't. I'm doing better but the anxiety is still there. I wanted to take my life bc if this
Remain positive, things will improve! I have also been suffering from chronic guilt and anxiety and sometimes I feel like I can't recover. However, you always have to remain positive because things will improve eventually! You just need to work hard to achieve it. You should speak to your family and people you trust and they can help you, and work from there.
It's ocd that make events look worse , it's not real .
@Muhammad-pz1bp time has passed and my mental health has improved a lot but I still have little obsessions over other things but I've forced myself to stop seeking reassurance. You can do this!
@@unknownuser4879 i also have a scary theme that maybe i caused suffering and death to a dog , false memory OCD is the worst i think , it make images look real , and the anxiety make us feel it real .
I have been haunted by bad memories for 30 years. Also guilt shame and self hatred . Sometimes I want to pull the plug.
I have also seen lots of therapists.
Is it possible to fear that something happened to you and not that you did something? I don't see that as common
Cynthia Garza it can latch to anything!
I have been suffering from chronic guilt and anxiety from false and real event OCD. Sometimes the events are just events that I don't think ever happened at all and some are events that did happen that feel like they are being morphed into something else. I am ready to start recovering but I'm not sure how to start.
I have already spoken to many people, but I am not really sure how to start the recovery process or how to start handling these thoughts. Any advice?
Exactly where I was. We can help you with this unconditional self acceptance gets under it. 📧 phil@ocdrecovery.com for info
The event is irrelevant, you don’t need to work it out, whether it happened or not makes no difference.
@@OCDRecovery Thank you so much!!
Thank you
This is exactly what I'm going through!!!
Ok mine is attacking an incident that occurred probably at the age of 15-17 but it keeps pushing the age group older and older to made me feel like my fears are true. Is it possible for it to attack memories at this age group as well?
I’m currently 17 now with OCD but I started having the symptoms when I was 16 years old.
Same!
My thoughts are all related to being drunk and not remembering if I've done something bad, like the drunk me is a different person etc.
Will you be doing another group for real event Rob?
HM yes!
Will real event scenarios bring new thoughts dealing with the incident, bringing new thoughts to make you feel guilt?
HM yes or one locked on thought
You literally described me. Thank you so much. I have real events and false memories but the false memories are way worse. Can false memories come from nowhere and be quite specific?
@@user-uy5sq4lf1h They're hard to determine whether they're real or not because you can't go back to check the past, but logically they wouldn't have happened. OCD keeps you confused and wondering however.
@@kylehill9121 so, how you deal with this type of ocd?
@@user-uy5sq4lf1h You tell me. It's a struggle. Are you suffering with this or just trying to gain an understanding?
@@user-uy5sq4lf1h Do you experience the same feelings?
@@kylehill9121 u got any closure on this?
I think it might be false memory OCD currently for me I'm not sure. When I go outside and I'm near someone I will get an intrusive thought about harming them out of nowhere (pushing the woman I just saw into the road) , then I will wonder if my movements that followed were me trying to hurt someone, even though they were harmless movements for example I may make a small movement backwards, and then my brain will say what if you were trying to push that lady into the road? , then I go home and replay the movements I made over and over to try and get an answer about whether I tried kill someone (that is what OCD is accusing me of) My intrusive thoughts are very frequent and it's connecting the thoughts to my movements. Is this false memory OCD? It's ruining my life.
I will get the thought too while I am in the middle of making a movement which makes me feel like I was trying to hurt someone. It so scary and I hate it. What is going on?
@@emmaroulstonewrestlingfan I have the same thoughts it’s false memory.
I have the same problem but not about something I did. It's about something I thought. A fleeting thought. What is this then?
This is a common part of OCD and what I suffered from, we can feel guilt just for thinking something or feel disturbed just for a thought.
Can real event OCD also be something that happened to you in the past, or something in the past that you didn't do right and you keep obsessing about it and want to make it right, or else you'll be punished eventually?
Yes
I think this is happening to me
@@Eezkiel I have this currently as well and it’s a roller coaster sometimes I feel like I use this as an excuse and just want to be punished. But I want to say you’re not alone!
@@luvforever-kp1hm thank you bro stay strong don't give up because of this ocd life is amazing it has ups and downs enjoy it because we only have one
same here bro
But why does this condition exist? Like what is the cause of this sort of psychological neuroses?
Does writing down obsessions help? Sorry, I know it’s a very general question.
Jonathon Goldie usually becomes compulsive
yes it made mine so much worse
Thank you so much, im 16 and I’m so lost it’s been like this for over a year I haven’t been able to enjoy myself, I feel like I don’t deserve it, how do I get help
📧 phil@ocdrecovery.com
Holy fuck this was me, I used to blame myself for my first kiss at 15, and convinced myself it was wrong because I wasn’t 16, yes crazy I know, 😢to the point I was going to go to the police… love the video
And yes I still fight ocd daily❤❤
Love and peace
Is it OCD if you think someone else did something to you I'm the past? Not other way around.
Please help. Could this apply to having a memory or thought and you start to obsess that something horrible happened to you vs you doing something horrible?
To all!
@@OCDRecovery what do you mean by that? I’m terrified of this thought that someone hurt me and im going to wrongfully accuse them because I know it didn’t happen. It’s so scary and I feel like I’ve never heard anyone talk about this kind of OCD
@@user-yh9yl4ss2t we have a webinar coming up on this topic if you are interested please email phil@ocdrecovery.com
I think it also comes from an expectation of one self to always have to be ' good' . In my case , growing up in a left wing and christian family has made me want to reach the unattainable of being all good at all times. Which is of course inhumane , as you're always gonna fuck up one way or the other.I guess other people who didn't grow up with these strict values, will find it a lot easier to accept themselves for what they are.And are therefor not so vulnerable for ocd guilt attacks..
Is guilt always there in such OCD ? Is there a possibility that at one point where its like "alright, if the thought says this, then it must be true" but there is no guilt but just feeling numb ?
Aishwarya Muttagi are you trying to workout if the guilt is genuine?
@@OCDRecovery Yes ! I am trying to see if i am guilty or not but i don't feel guilty.
Aishwarya Muttagi you won’t be able to workout feelings to obtain certainty, you need to get used to not answering them and not trying to work them out for one.
@@OCDRecovery Thank you !! 😊
I been struggling with false memories/cheat OCD it's the worse 🥺
Same bro what i do for cure
i think there should be way more awarenes about false memory ocd
Hi!
This is litterly me. I've done such horrible things and I can't move on. I feel like a monster. I feel so guilty for all these diffrent things some worse then other. I'm litterly crying inside right now seeing this video. I just want to be a happy person again, I've had so much therapies already and all work for short amount of times before falling back into ocd again.
My wife is pregnant of our 2nd child and I want to be there for them, I'm just so disconnected because of my ocd and I hate myself for it.
Is there anyway we can get in touch l?
I'm from the Netherlands btw I hope that's not an issue?
U can send them a mail @ocdrecovery.com I think you need to get therapy as soon as possible.
Oliver covers guilt and shame in great detail in his video on the topic on this channel. I also suggest watching the three part video by Albert Ellis on CZcams on guilt and shame it was a game changer for me along with the books on our reading list!
Typical CBT just fuels OCD. Have you tried ERP therapy?
Can anyone help me, it’s been over a year since this ‘night’ where I think I may of done something awful to a female (r**e), it came after many ‘mistakes’ with females that affected me but after speaking to my housemate he said they were part of growing up, I walked home intoxicated and on my own and feel I grabbed someone and committed the act, nothings came of the night but I did start to find my own evidence, what do you all advise, Its affected my life so much I can’t hardly leave my bed, any suggestions please
It's the ocd making it worse!! How are u doing now?
@@Kiyobear_15 terrible I’ll never move on normally again
So I need to get used to it feeling like I did something horrible, and compare myself to people on death row and say they can have calm days?
You are not alone. It will tell you that your different and you absolutely positively did something and you’re gonna pay for it. What I’ve learned is that there are two different ways of knowing. You can have emotional knowledge or intellectual knowledge. You know intellectuals nothing happened but emotionally you feel certain it did. We like to think of ourselves as one person but we are not one person. We are a system of many different parts that has to live with one another. The front part of your brain is intellectual but it literally gives you a different story than the emotional midbrain. Seriously the fact that we refer to ourselves as “one person” is just a concept so we can speak about it easily. Think of it this way, you look at a car and say that’s a car. But a car is hundreds of different machines that each function individually. You can take the seat out of a car just the same as you can take a lobe from your brain and live. That’s a lobotomy. What you refer to as you is scientifically multiple yous. And they all have their own opinion
Real event related to cheating, anybody else? Guilt is all consuming
I've been obsessing a memory for this week
I feel so guilty so I'm punishing myself by starving myself, even if I tried to eat I wouldn't be able to stomach it
But I feel like I've forgotten somethings pertaining to that particular memory, because if I really did do that then why do I feel such disgust at the thought?
And why didn't I feel guilty all the days after?
Did I just do it and forget it?
The uncertainty is killing me
If I accept it too, I won't be able to take it because that's not the type of person I am, I will never be able to look people in the eye again
But I cant help the guilt and anxiety either way
What I do in these situations is confess and get reassurance but this time I'm not going to do it
Do you suggest that I accept it anyway?
Was it an actual memory? Or are you unsure if it's actually real or not?
@@hailseitan3876 I don't really know how to explain it
The first part of it really did happen and that part isn't bad, its everything after that, that I'm unsure of
I feel like I'm just trying to find an excuse and it really did happen but I'm denying it
@@LoveLove-mi9ne I’m going through this exact experience. I just don’t know if I’ve done something wrong or not. I wouldn’t want to have done the thing I’m scared about but it’s like I just don’t know
@@jaedenmk5544 hiii
I don't know much about all of this so I have no idea of what to say
But I am doing better.
I'm still anxious but the guilt is better,still there but manageable
So there's hope😊
I will be seeing someone about all this though
How about you?
@@LoveLove-mi9ne I’m getting help with it too. It’s hard to get through the guilt when you’re so confused
I'm currently suffering from Real Event OCD and is related to my POCD. It's torturing me.
We can help you with that! Check out the videos on this channel, there are lots breaking it down.
You are not alone. It will tell you that your different and you absolutely positively did something and you’re gonna pay for it. What I’ve learned is that there are two different ways of knowing. You can have emotional knowledge or intellectual knowledge. You know intellectuals nothing happened but emotionally you feel certain it did. We like to think of ourselves as one person but we are not one person. We are a system of many different parts that has to live with one another. The front part of your brain is intellectual but it literally gives you a different story than the emotional midbrain. Seriously the fact that we refer to ourselves as “one person” is just a concept so we can speak about it easily. Think of it this way, you look at a car and say that’s a car. But a car is hundreds of different machines that each function individually. You can take the seat out of a car just the same as you can take a lobe from your brain and live. That’s a lobotomy. What you refer to as you is scientifically multiple yous. And they all have their own opinion
One night in my childhood my father unconsiously started rubbing my leg as he thought dt it was my mother's leg and nw I am suffering from the guilt dt y I didn't take back my leg immediately?
forget about it...you are good person..period
@@upscduniya3299 Thanks
@@sonal_T_Explorer thats OCD trying to turn it into something. I hope you were able to move past the guilt you felt.
@@sonal_T_Explorer i also obsess about something that i cannot correct now, as it happened in past
Not a big deal. Move on. 😂😂
Where do you come from? I like your dialect.
London, thank you.
@@OCDRecovery I acted on some harmless intrusive thought in the past because of sudden urge by doing choirs like washing dishes and got an image of cutting myself but I touched the knife thats all, dont know why, I deeply didnt have intentions to cut myself.
And now Im scared because I acted on urge somewhow and its maybe "proof" that Im more able to fully act on them some day. And maybe its proof I dont have ocd.
This disease is horrible. 2 days ago I thought I got relief, forgave myself and can move on but its suddenly found some another thing where I can feel now there is really no way out of that. And Im stuck.
The wrost is I work as a nurse. I thought I will have ocd under control but it has destroyed my professional life as here is lot of triggering things.
At the end thank you for the video and Im sorry just it doesnt have any polish subtitles to show it to my family becausw they dont get it.
Would like to meet you in person and other people like us because I feel alone with that.
But what if you actually did something criminal and was never convicted for it? In that case I have a reason to live in guilt and fear because I deserve nothing more than that.
Chronic guilt is never needed whatever you think you did.
I feel this
Even watching this I'm thinking "But my event is ACTUALLY bad" lol.
You are not alone. It will tell you that your different and you absolutely positively did something and you’re gonna pay for it. What I’ve learned is that there are two different ways of knowing. You can have emotional knowledge or intellectual knowledge. You know intellectuals nothing happened but emotionally you feel certain it did. We like to think of ourselves as one person but we are not one person. We are a system of many different parts that has to live with one another. The front part of your brain is intellectual but it literally gives you a different story than the emotional midbrain. Seriously the fact that we refer to ourselves as “one person” is just a concept so we can speak about it easily. Think of it this way, you look at a car and say that’s a car. But a car is hundreds of different machines that each function individually. You can take the seat out of a car just the same as you can take a lobe from your brain and live. That’s a lobotomy. What you refer to as you is scientifically multiple yous. And they all have their own opinion
OCD has ruined me
Which type of ocd of u have 🙄
"Humans are designed to fight and be violent."
You are wrong about this Robert. Do you see claws on our hands? Are our teeth sharp? Is our skin thick enough to resist penetration even by blunt objects? Would a person who was raised by a compassionate and accepting family in a strong and tolerant community - who wasn't conditioned into reacting with hatred and aggression by means of their reliance on group respect or warped by fear, trauma or the fear and trauma of the generations before them - be at all likely to raise a fist against another human because they wanted something? The last question is not rhetorical, I am genuinely interested in your answer.
What you said here is based on a fallacious appeal to nature that started a couple hundred years ago after the academic acceptance of evolution. It was propagated by those seeking increased power through the emerging capitalist system, who used biased biologists and anthropologists - selecting "evidence" to back up speculation, possibly with financial incentive - to convince people that humanity tends towards violence and aggressive competition by nature and evolved that way: therefore it is natural and acceptable that success be achieved by stepping over the bodies of failures.
In reality our brains are designed for co-operation, not violence. Our ability to work together is and has always been immensely more important to our survival (as groups and individuals) than our ability to physically overpower each other or rival groups, and so it follows that this is the dominant factor in the evolution of our brains. The prevalence of inter-personal violence as we know it today - and eventually war - most likely came as the result of the wealth and social hierarchy that followed agriculture, construction and therefore concentrated population centers and the large-scale storing of foods less than 10,000 years ago.
There wasn't much power to struggle for before that and violence in any community would be a great risk not only to the individuals involved but to the whole group, which - along with inherent empathy and powerful fear of social rejection - meant that individuals would have little incentive to carry out violent acts and peaceful resolution of interpersonal conflicts would have been a high social priority. Likewise it would have been quite unlikely for any community to see more reward than risk in the prospect of violent conflict with another community. Even the existence of psychopaths would not have resulted in much violence at all back then because they would be incentivized in a manner similar to others, and their own brains' risk/reward calculations would rarely lead them to fighting or murder because where is the reward without wealth or power?
I like what you are doing and hope you keep it up, but the "red in tooth and claw" myth is pseudo-scientific and it is surprising and very disappointing that you don't know this, especially given the subject of your practice.
Yes we are. You don't have to have claws. We Have Eyes in front of our heads and we are the apex predator
@@Alritealritealrite A lot of mostly vegetarian species have eyes in the front of their heads, for example almost all primates because sight is the most honed sense and focused vision is useful not only for predators, there is only one primate who is an obligate predator. We ate mostly fruit and vegetables before we developed complex communities and hunting tools, this is evidenced by our teeth. Imagine you had no tools at all, then imagine trying to eat the flesh of a dead animal. Not happening.
That was a long, long time of us communicating and working together. That whole time we would have been absolutely terrified of so many of the animals living on the ground (huge hyenas and sabre-toothed cats etc etc), hence why we spent so much time in the trees and are natural climbers. We were certainly Not apex predators, not even for a long time after tools and even after cities, because other things still ate us. Arguably there is no such thing as an apex predator nowadays, because there's always some c*** that wants to find out what one tastes like and only needs money to do so.
We certainly have the most immediate power nowadays, but my point was not about what we can do with our tools or intelligence now (or for the last 50,000 years), and neither was Robert's. Both of our points were about how evolution made us.
Thank you