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Iyanla's Advice for This Newly Single Man | Help Desk | Oprah Winfrey Network

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  • čas přidán 15. 11. 2014
  • Clinton, 32, recently got out of a two-year relationship with a woman and is having trouble moving on. Watch why spiritual life coach Iyanla Vanzant says his situation all boils down to one thing. Tune in Sundays at noon ET/PT. For more on #HelpDesk , visit Oprah.com.
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    Iyanla's Advice for This Newly Single Man | Help Desk | Oprah Winfrey Network
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Komentáře • 165

  • @karenmcgee1869
    @karenmcgee1869 Před 8 lety +121

    He is beautiful. I thank GOD that he allowed himself to be vulnerable to love. It will be a blessing for his heart to be open to the right woman. Great advice Iylana.

  • @Ruby20111000
    @Ruby20111000 Před 8 lety +106

    What a brave man, how attractive

  • @edenb24
    @edenb24 Před 9 lety +220

    I am so incredibly proud of him for being brave enough to do this. There are so many men out there holding on to the fact that someone took advantage of their vulnerability. I really hope men take heed to this. I've dated two men who were emotionally scarred by women from their past and they were unable to fully open up. It's definitely frustrating and unfortunately I couldn't stick around, due to the toll it took on me emotionally. I really pray they can forgive and find true love. Good luck, Clinton! I'm sure you won't have any trouble finding a good woman.

    • @depy2762
      @depy2762 Před 6 lety +1

      edenb24 What advise you have for men who women will take advantage of their vulnerability?

    • @staceyj3667
      @staceyj3667 Před 5 lety +6

      @@depy2762 Iylana just gave it. Follow your gut n see ppl for who they are vs what u want to see. Peace to you

    • @staceyj3667
      @staceyj3667 Před 5 lety +2

      I've been there and I cannot stay trying to convince someone I am not those other women.

    • @lindaleelaw5277
      @lindaleelaw5277 Před 5 lety +1

      Rephrase: He LET someone take advantage of him.
      People onky do what you allow them.

    • @sunshinesunflowerz1647
      @sunshinesunflowerz1647 Před 5 lety

      Same and I also say that’s a parenting issue that he didn’t get from his parents.

  • @stephaniemensah1858
    @stephaniemensah1858 Před 7 lety +52

    It is so refreshing to see a man showing his emotions and vulnerability. It is easy to forget that men sometimes have the same fears that women do. I pray that he meets a woman who will cherish him and give him the love that he so desires.

  • @sugat2sweet
    @sugat2sweet Před 9 lety +222

    Send him to me!

  • @hahadarrie
    @hahadarrie Před 5 lety +18

    Do a 'where are they now" on him. he is fine in every sense of the word and sensitive too!!!!

  • @carzychickx
    @carzychickx Před 9 lety +91

    How can someone let tht go honestly!

  • @scotsiroberts4568
    @scotsiroberts4568 Před 7 lety +60

    I had to watch this twice.. He's Really Handsome!!!

  • @carah1232
    @carah1232 Před 9 lety +54

    I hope next time he meets a lovely single lady and so that he can experienxe the joy of having his first own child,...

  • @rn6710
    @rn6710 Před 7 lety +9

    I can really relate to what this handsome gentleman went through. I allowed myself to be vulnerable to someone when I knew in my gut that something was off. I'm still working on accepting that he isn't the one for me, and this clip has helped me on that journey. I hope that this guy is able to heal and possibly reconnect with those kids one day.

  • @veliciahiley7652
    @veliciahiley7652 Před 9 lety +20

    I hope he does not beat himself up about this . And let it go. I know he had emotional attachments to that woman and her children. But he did what we all do in relationships, he was true .
    He got great sound advice, and I am excited for him to. He seems like a wonderful guy and his queen is coming his way.

  • @thExoticAries
    @thExoticAries Před 6 lety +5

    It's okay to be vulnerable and to own it. Such a good and optimistic outlook ☺️

  • @MrDonniemac5
    @MrDonniemac5 Před 4 lety +4

    I just went through this. Only one toddler instead of three. Great words of encouragement.

  • @reginaallain4113
    @reginaallain4113 Před 6 lety +5

    So true about going with your gut...would have saved me a lot of my time.. I learned not everyone has a heart like me...when you keep thinking about a situation that don’t sit well, follow that✅

  • @SherrellHubbard
    @SherrellHubbard Před 6 lety +22

    That girlfriend is a fool. This is a good man. I would've held onto him forever, you can tell he's a good person.

  • @AngelaG2015
    @AngelaG2015 Před 7 lety +9

    Just discovered the help desk....love it!!!

  • @melliegotsoul
    @melliegotsoul Před 9 lety +67

    He's cute, and appears to be nice. He can come over here.... :)

  • @collinsomoregbe2630
    @collinsomoregbe2630 Před 2 měsíci

    Her vibe is healing and soothing.

  • @donnawoodford6641
    @donnawoodford6641 Před 5 lety +1

    I, as a woman, was vulnerable, played, and now newly single. When I heard Iyanla say to Clinton, "She didn't deserve you", I felt the same for my situation: Someone takes advantage of you or you allow them to take advantage of you, and the result is hurt. Iyanla gave Clinton support and hope for him to open himself up enough to find the one who would appreciate him for all his goodness. Guard thy ❤️for the right one!☮️

  • @goodgracious6364
    @goodgracious6364 Před 5 lety +5

    All the women standing in the back, are smiling, and thinking..."Damn..."

    • @ez2bcute
      @ez2bcute Před 3 lety +1

      Exactly! He didn’t leave that venue single!

  • @FEMME_CHRONICLES
    @FEMME_CHRONICLES Před 9 lety +14

    iyanla is FLIRTING !!!!

    • @humansparkler
      @humansparkler Před 6 lety

      inappropriate. if it was the other way around highly not okay.

  • @ImYourVj
    @ImYourVj Před 4 lety +2

    Lord... a sensitive handsome man that is conscious of his being... whew chileee….

  • @walenalivingprayingdancing4215

    I wish he could read this message...I've been PRAYING FOR A GOOD MAN 🛐❤

  • @Jessica-tw9dh
    @Jessica-tw9dh Před 4 lety +2

    I think his question was also about the children, as in, how does he relate to the kids after their break up?? They got attached and everything... Does he just stop talking to them.... Or does he keep in touch so they arent hurt....

  • @cuprunnethover2509
    @cuprunnethover2509 Před rokem

    Wow! Imagine how good it's going to be when the right one comes along! 🔥🔥🔥🔥 I never thought about it like that!

  • @TT-th1gb
    @TT-th1gb Před 3 lety

    Thank you for helping one of our fellow men Ms.Iyanla - much appreciation

  • @juliadelagarza8011
    @juliadelagarza8011 Před 6 lety +1

    OH, I SAW IN THAT YOUNG MAN MY SENSIBLE, HUMAN-HEARTED SOUL HANDSOME SON! GOD BLESS HIM AND MY SON, HOPEFULLY THEY WILL BOTH FIND THEIR ONE AND ONLY SOULMATE ONE OF THESE DAYS.

  • @caenterprisellc6922
    @caenterprisellc6922 Před 2 lety

    As a single, the right one is important.

  • @VivKittie32
    @VivKittie32 Před 6 lety +2

    You can feel all the ladies in the room perking up for this cute guy.. 😂

  • @ladonnacannon2602
    @ladonnacannon2602 Před 3 měsíci

    Super simple advice.❤

  • @lorrainethompson909
    @lorrainethompson909 Před 9 lety +12

    So very cute! He can date me anytime!

  • @tiffanih8465
    @tiffanih8465 Před 6 lety +2

    He's gorgeous...

  • @bcvc3365
    @bcvc3365 Před 8 lety +2

    broken hearted, so sad

  • @IsaacsMedia
    @IsaacsMedia Před 9 lety +9

    I want to hear the sister's version of the story.

  • @VictoriaMorrisa
    @VictoriaMorrisa Před 5 lety +1

    Aww. He's a good guy. I liked that advice

  • @mariedor3794
    @mariedor3794 Před 6 lety

    Yes she read me for my past relationship I didn’t trust my instincts I was vulnerable and got played

  • @ThePlutoandMarsEffectofTarot

    I love his puppy eyes 💋

  • @kehilwesibanda
    @kehilwesibanda Před 8 lety +16

    wait a minute.... that guy never said he got played, Iyanla just assumed he did. I wonder if that guy left the Help Desk having had gotten real help.

    • @kenediii_ryan
      @kenediii_ryan Před 7 lety +2

      We didn't hear any of his side of the story smh...

    • @jackpea7102
      @jackpea7102 Před 6 lety +2

      This entertainment, not a 1 hour therapy session.

    • @sealinalashelle5126
      @sealinalashelle5126 Před 5 lety +3

      Right because men don't get played 😒. We got to do better. Men get hurt and played just like women do. Btw she's a therapist it's her job to see what you don't say.

  • @Ms_T_Perfectly_Imperfect

    @0:55 reminds me of Mike from the movie 'The Wood' lol. I hope he heals and finds the right woman.

  • @divifemtv
    @divifemtv Před 5 lety +2

    Has Clinton found the one yet? Curious to know...

  • @soulmate3210
    @soulmate3210 Před 6 lety

    Down as a single mom I am so proud of this young man I'm not going to even say black African a man cuz it doesn't matter he's just a man I like it still type what color cuz color is just it's just a skin tone anyway however moreover I felt the same way but I was the one with the kit and then life continued on when I met this young man that was the ex husband the wheat had a child and I guess I can say I was liable I don't think he was I think he knew what he was doing now that time pass but I'm proud of this young man for just being real don't give up brother don't do it we both cannot let something like that in there our life and our hearts we just have to be more wear and we have to be upfront truthful about the next relationship God bless

  • @terriwilliams4803
    @terriwilliams4803 Před 3 lety

    I read all the thirsty comments from the women about this man. Its 2 sides to why the relationship ended. There is a reason why the woman he dated with 3 kids broke up with him, because it doesn't sound like he broke up. Have to look beyond the good looks, maybe he had a temper, not a good person to her kids, OR just a bad man.

  • @christielove9000
    @christielove9000 Před 4 lety +1

    Geez he's Handsome to me!

  • @BVIEMPRESS
    @BVIEMPRESS Před 7 lety +1

    I wonder what happened to him and if he found the right one as yet?

  • @jazminerenee4077
    @jazminerenee4077 Před rokem

    I needed this thank you Iyanla ❤❤❤

  • @thembicosta4394
    @thembicosta4394 Před 6 lety

    Tell me what's really going on... Yes! That's right she didn't deserve you!

  • @SolidRocEntertainmentSRE
    @SolidRocEntertainmentSRE Před 6 lety +2

    In my own opinion, I think Iyanla sometime talks too much and takes too much control of the conversation. Homie didn't really get a chance to vent

  • @Nicole-rc4du
    @Nicole-rc4du Před 5 lety

    so i need to go to north carolina!

  • @brooklynforever1990
    @brooklynforever1990 Před 5 lety

    Bruh...I'd love to heal you. But in all seriousness vulnerabilities are hard show. But kudos to him acknowledging it he'll be better off for it.

  • @nicolel.4484
    @nicolel.4484 Před 3 lety

    I don’t know that she really answered his question though?

  • @staceymitch777
    @staceymitch777 Před 6 lety +1

    Truth

  • @kar3n35
    @kar3n35 Před 3 lety

    Well if he is hurt he should have a time alone to heal. Close a chapter before u open another book.

  • @justlondeya4094
    @justlondeya4094 Před 3 lety

    There is more to the story. His good looks ain’t fooling me.

  • @afropicktv6894
    @afropicktv6894 Před 6 lety +1

    All that's man I would love on him like no other ok ❤👑

  • @soulfulpo3t
    @soulfulpo3t Před 6 lety +1

    He fine

  • @filmtressmu8552
    @filmtressmu8552 Před 4 lety +1

    We didn't learn anything. A lot of men have double standards and man mountains out of 'mole-hills'. I don't trust that she wasn't the one and he got played. I think he got his ego bruised and he couldn't handle her past because he resembled a bit too much like his.

  • @zacqueeentertainment7336

    It’s a damn shame how women throw away great men for bums who leave them knocked up and alone. Then complain how bad men are. That’s your fault. There’s great men like this all around you.

  • @kenfaye3030
    @kenfaye3030 Před 3 lety

    Beautiful man

  • @moniquebreeveld1
    @moniquebreeveld1 Před 9 lety +2

    Amazing! Own it!...#can I be your one? haha!

  • @okukuliliann6765
    @okukuliliann6765 Před 5 lety

    Woow
    brave G.man

  • @Bnizzofashizzo
    @Bnizzofashizzo Před rokem

    I can say with all assuredness, that there’s no way in the world. This man won’t find what he’s looking for. My goodness lol

  • @youtubeguy4539
    @youtubeguy4539 Před 4 lety

    I normal using like IYanla but decent advice

  • @PJWEBB-nf9sp
    @PJWEBB-nf9sp Před 8 lety +12

    I'll never date a woman with kids

    • @delesalinjohnson6471
      @delesalinjohnson6471 Před 8 lety

      I this is old but may I ask you why

    • @PJWEBB-nf9sp
      @PJWEBB-nf9sp Před 8 lety +3

      Is because her children are more important for her to take care of then trying to date a single man with no children.

    • @PJWEBB-nf9sp
      @PJWEBB-nf9sp Před 8 lety +2

      And also I wouldn't take care of someone else's child.

    • @buttaflygirl05
      @buttaflygirl05 Před 7 lety +7

      never say never...your treasure could be wrapped in an unexpected package..God has a funny way of giving us what we need and its bounds beyond what we could ever want for ourselves...

    • @BlackStorm555
      @BlackStorm555 Před 7 lety +8

      P.J. WEBB, This has been the black man's Anthem, what he ain't going to do. When did being a father become taboo in the black community? Is there such a thing as a strong black man in today's society? I know about a strong black woman, I see her in the mirror every day. Not all women with children are looking for daddies. We ourselves grew up as Daddyless Daughters. The responsible black man has been on the endangered species list for as long as I can remember and still going strong in 2016. You have a right to your opinion and I'm not here to change it. For the black men out there taking care of the children regardless if their yours or not, thank you, for keeping our community strong. Thank You for being our husband, father, brother, uncle, son and nephew. Thank you from a woman who has children.

  • @ThePlutoandMarsEffectofTarot

    Where is he?!!!! Lol. Seriously.

  • @mishylove
    @mishylove Před 6 lety +2

    "I was dating a female" 😒. Something about his body language is insincere. He thought she was going to be happy to have anybody he didn't vome correct.

  • @vandaxo
    @vandaxo Před 5 lety

    Poor guy! ❤️❤️

  • @funnyisfunny4944
    @funnyisfunny4944 Před 8 lety

    Is this still coming on TV??

    • @candyxoxo19
      @candyxoxo19 Před 7 lety +2

      Still waiting for a show where the handsome men you help who are single can get to meet some beautiful and talented ladies on your show. I'll wait for it.

  • @ebonyk1646
    @ebonyk1646 Před 4 lety

    Dang. Some women don’t know what they have.

  • @tashamcafee6455
    @tashamcafee6455 Před 5 lety

    I commend him!...I wonder where his now🤔

  • @peggystoutemorin4529
    @peggystoutemorin4529 Před 5 lety

    She let a good man go, but Iyanla was right; she was not the one.

  • @briannaw.7226
    @briannaw.7226 Před 4 lety

    How am i supposed to move on when you've thrown me in prison?

  • @arccway
    @arccway Před 4 lety

    This is good but theres no such thing as the right one.

  • @kekacaddis3550
    @kekacaddis3550 Před 6 lety +1

    I'll be that one he is ultra nice looki ng

  • @antionette97
    @antionette97 Před 4 lety

    I wonder what really happened....

  • @anaklusmosgreek3198
    @anaklusmosgreek3198 Před 4 lety

    Dawg.... I appreciate her on how to Demonstrating how LISTENING but women dont know its a responsibility.

  • @locksley11
    @locksley11 Před 4 lety

    She did him a favor.

  • @lindaleelaw5277
    @lindaleelaw5277 Před 5 lety

    Mist single's can't even hold a simple conversation. They can't and won't go dancing. Arcades? - thats,for kids ( where its,fun to show the real you); funky dates ( too messy).No sense of humor, can't tell a clean joke .
    Men, it's ok to admit YOU made the wrong choice. women live humanly humble men.

  • @ohhnooo7759
    @ohhnooo7759 Před 2 lety

    I guess the 3 kids weren't big enough red flags for him...smdh

  • @REDMICRADIO
    @REDMICRADIO Před 8 lety +9

    She cheated on him because he is soft. Women can read men. They know the ones they can walk over. She had 3 children probably by three different men. If I see a woman that was raised without a father, tattoos all over the place and kids. I don't even look her direction.

    • @zakariahanaffi9641
      @zakariahanaffi9641 Před 8 lety +4

      He's a beta man nice guy provider ...guys like him get to taken to the cleaners in court !

    • @anthonycampbell510
      @anthonycampbell510 Před 8 lety +9

      That's a load of crap! people cheat because they want to. It's a choice.

    • @markaym3735
      @markaym3735 Před 8 lety +9

      She cheated because she was a cheater. If you can't be soft with her... She doesn't know how to love.

    • @yuhz1m1
      @yuhz1m1 Před 6 lety +2

      Karen M preach!!

    • @britneyhouston-escajeda7246
      @britneyhouston-escajeda7246 Před 6 lety +2

      She cheated because shes a cheater...thats her issue not his. Him wanting to take care of a family as a man should doesn't make him soft. It makes him a man. The woman having kids and tattoos don't dictate who she is nor deserve your pre judgement. That's like saying "oh hes black and has beard .he must be a muslimr" its sound ignorant because that type of thinking is. There are surgeons and lawyers with full sleeves of tattoos that preform well and their body art has no merit in how well they do in life...also there are women within kids or tattoo that would mistreat you as well...Truth is there are both good and bad in this world

  • @mariannedompreh2133
    @mariannedompreh2133 Před 6 lety

    👍💖to both

  • @lovenurtures3724
    @lovenurtures3724 Před 5 lety

    Chile!!!!!!!!👀

  • @magicworld3242
    @magicworld3242 Před 5 lety +1

    Black Men Please Stop Getting Involved With Black Women And All Her Kids...

  • @NoStressEmpress
    @NoStressEmpress Před 4 lety

    Okay, where is he? Call me!

  • @truthseeker4460
    @truthseeker4460 Před 5 lety

    Such a cutie

  • @denisiaadams7199
    @denisiaadams7199 Před rokem

    I need his number

  • @rubiecon6425
    @rubiecon6425 Před 4 lety

    So a borther got played by a girl lol i cant ladies are pimps too

  • @Greenblood60
    @Greenblood60 Před 7 lety +10

    Here's some advice: don't date a woman with three kids !

  • @Seachange01120
    @Seachange01120 Před 7 lety

    Delicious!

  • @idontknow-ms8mc
    @idontknow-ms8mc Před 5 lety

    I don't trust this guy.

  • @ThePlutoandMarsEffectofTarot

    I love his puppy eyes 💋