The New Monogamy | Tammy Nelson | TEDxBucharest
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- čas přidán 31. 07. 2024
- Dr. Tammy Nelson defines what monogamy means in the modern world where we’re bombarded with distractions which can affect our intimate lives, and she gives us tips on how to have a strong relationship, leaving it to us to define our relationships and what they mean to us. “Relationships are not about committing to someone else but staying true to your own values". Tammy Nelson is a PhD Board Certified Sexologist, Licensed Relationship therapist and a Psychology Professor. As a sex and relationship expert and prolific author, she is internationally recognized as one of the top experts in the field of relationship therapy, with almost thirty years of experience working with individuals and couples.
She authored the books “The New Monogamy”, “Getting the Sex You Want”, “What’s Eating You” and the upcoming “When You’re the One Who Cheats.” She’s been quoted as an expert in publications such as The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Rolling Stone Magazine, Washington Post, Martha Stewart, CNN, The Sun, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Woman’s Day, and Time Magazine.
Dr. Tammy Nelson also blogs for the Huffington Post, Medium, Thrive Global and is on the Advisory Board of the Men’s Fitness Magazine. She also writes her own award winning blog at www.drtammynelson.com/blog This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Tammy Nelson is so wise and so human. Anyone who hopes to thrive beyond the idealized, romantic phase of a relationship should watch this. Janis Abrahms Spring
This forward thinking talk provides a thorough insight at how modern society looks and treats intimacy, relationships and monogamy. Who would have thought that just 20 years ago you'd be able "... to cheat on your partner while lying in bed next to them (with your smartphone)". Be prepared to rethink your relationship.
Great talk! I like the idea of people negotiating their monogamy and technology boundaries. Thanks Dr. Tammy Nelson well done!
Thoughtful, provocative and insightful. Thank you!
Thanks, Tammy, for your fresh perspective and practical suggestions.
Tammy is amazing! Her style, delivery and knowledge makes everyone feel comfortable talking about a subject that is not always comfortable!! Thanks, Tammy, for sharing your wisdom with the world!
Dr. Tammy's insights into monogamy are eye-opening and thought-provoking. This is an important video for anyone in a relationship or thinking of beginning a new relationship. Jane Applegate
Absolutely love this talk! Thank you for sharing your words with us :)
What a refreshing, intelligent, and insightful talk. I want to watch it a few more times and will most definitely share it with friends and my patients. Every day in my practice, I listen to men and women talk of the deep issues around monogamy (and dissatisfaction) in their marriages. This simple 3-step plan is a perfect prescription not only for couples who are struggling but also for those who are happy yet know the value of regular checkups. It's a form of "wellness care" for relationships. This topic transcends religion and culture and gets straight to the heart of the human experience. Thank you for your wisdom, Dr. Tammy Nelson!
FINALLY! A TEDx Talk that is more applicable to my actual life. It's nice to be inspired by people's life-stories, but Tammy Nelson is actually giving her viewers valuable, applicable information for everyday life! Definitely sharing this with all of my friends who have had or are having relationship troubles, or those who aren't- as a lesson and guidance for the future! Can't wait to here what Dr. Nelson comes out with next.
I am a huge fan of Tammy Nelson's book "New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity" personally; and have recommended their perspective on the three spectral areas of relationships being time, emotions, and physicality to many friends, clients, and colleagues. Thank you for not being dualistic Tammy! Life is not a polarity between monogamy and polyamoury, we all live upon a spectrum of life needs, wants, and offers.
I love this talk. So down to earth and relevant to today’s environment. Honesty and communication are the key component to relationship. Dr Tammy’s approach helps all couples.
I could watch this on repeat!!! So relevant for all generations. Everyone needs to hear this.
Insightful look at the world of monogamy and all its modern challenges. Tammy is able to take an emotionally charged topic like infidelity and offer her perspective in such a way that we're left seeing it in a more human light.
Genius TY 4 sharing
Ted thanks for the good tips on monogamy
"By the time you got bored, you were dead"
perfect analogy.
That's not an analogy it's a witticism.
I used to imagine being in a relationship with celebrities.
Here is an issue... the idea of honesty and transparency between two partners is a good point to aim at.. but there is a need for mystery, curiosity, longing, space, even a touch of risk /transgression, to keep the spark of attraction alive.. and these are the things that draw people to infidelity.
and ... marriage rate hits rock bottom. it just doesn't work.
Wise
Its disappointing to read the three comments posted so far for this very open minded and present speaker. The subject matter is always going to draw negative attention from the conservative, religious or more reserved sector of the community but she talks a lot of sense. As humans we are capable of remarkable things but appear to be limited in our ability to hear. She's not saying monogamy is dead or unimportant. She's not saying anything that could be considered negative or de-motivational. She’s saying there is a choice. This lady knows her stuff.
"Limited in our ability to hear, " perfect!
Interesting
Hi Tammy, you are amazing! xoxo
While I agree with cyber boundaries, I disagree that "transparency is tied to commitment", and I disagree that intimacy means barring every single corner of your life (do you. really want to know how that dress looks on you). Some online communications are between me and another person. That person deserves privacy as well. I don't hide the fact that I'm talking or texting but my friend's business is theirs. So if they confide in me I will keep their confidentiality. The best thing she says is to craft the relationship that works for you.
I am also a motivational speaker huh!!!!
I have only been with my for the past 13 years. Trust me...its get hard when you are fairly attractive and its even harder to please the same person over time.
Oh no, not my window seat
Just make sure to negotiate before getting married. If you do a religious marriage monogamy is a given
Justifying the lack of moral, empathy and real connection between humans with this... you don’t have to marry if you can’t be truthful to your partner and your common project, that includes growing old together and having a strong family for your kids. Marriage is hard stuff, you have to gain it with hard work and commitment from both sides. Otherwise marriage is just an economic contract...
Sounds like you didn't actually watch the video, or did you?
@@kbanghart I watch the full video and I am sorry but I just can't bite this rhetoric
@@andreatheodora8810 no problem, you don't have to believe in it. But don't add all your extra fake news and prejudices into it.
@@kbanghart Fake news:life is hard, even harder when you have nothing to believe or to fight for. I comment with my own opinions and believes and you don't have to argue if you disagree. You still haven't expose your thought on video, like you don't know what a debate is.
@@andreatheodora8810 oops, you sound a bit triggered. First you say I don't have to argue, and then you claim that I don't know what a debate is. So do you want an argument or not? Personally I really don't care, but it's obvious your initial post makes too many assumptions.
Sounds like she read or heard a lot of Esther Perel
The trouble with monogamy is it's boring. We men have always been under the impression we were the ones who got bored and needed some variety and the woman was in ecstatic as long as they had an emotional reliable relationship with their spouse. The truth is women get bored screwing the same guy over and over. Most divorces are initiated by the woman. They find us boring. They want variety more than we do.
Great insight. This got me thinking 🤔
Maybe they desire creativity, not variety.
Ask all the homewreckers who hit on married people.
Killing and robbing are crime 200, 500 years ago… so can all commit these crime now… commitment in relationship being loyal and honest has it value… She’s destroying those values redefining it. Human nature is not enough in anything at all always. Every Thursday will become every day. The one who don’t have brains to run a healthy relationship with one person find a solution with others and body demand too. She needs someone once a week clearly understood.
Lol
Weirdest pronounciation of monogamy
Lol how do you say it?
This collection of vids should be retitled TEDxxxNPD.
She lost all credibility, for me, when she said that 200 yrs ago we lived to be 38. This isnt factual. The average life span was 38, sure, but that is because many kids died by the age of 5. Those kids weren't married, I'm going to assume, and therefore wouldn't count in this particular idea. If one lived to be past age 5, then they typically lived to be 80, which ruins her theory of 'only being married for 15 yrs'. Ah, junk science.
@@dr.tammynelson7971 I am certainly open to that.
You are being literal, she simply meant people don't live long those days because of diseases with no cure or preventative measures
Lol Elia good try
No antibiotics, Starvation, malnutrition, wars, no life saving medical treatments or medications... 200 years ago it would have been rare to reach the age of 50. A life expectancy of 80 is only a very recent achievement and only found in developed countries.
@@stevemccready595 sure. Except you’re wrong.
Oh, Tammy... I know it's 2023 and people are making up new definitions to words. But you're reeeeeeeally allowing for the definition of monogamy to be about whatever the couple agrees to as long as they conduct their behaviors with integrity toward each other.
Please, no.
this is such a load of bollocks! marriage is dead. try to draw up your agreement as many ways as you want, you will fail.