Arousal, Drive, Attraction, and Desire
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- čas přidán 6. 09. 2024
- The differences between arousal, drive, attraction, and desire can be really confusing, and are some of the most frequently asked questions for those exploring the asexual community and their own identities.
Bauer gives a basic explanation of the each definition and examples of how they can overlap or not. Then she delves into how this overlaps with asexuality as an orientation.
This video does not additionally explore the layers that gray- or demi-sexuality add to the mix, because it's complex enough just with these four, but they will be outlined in future videos.
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More people should watch this! This really clarified what I wanted to know about sexual attraction. Thanks for making this video!
Apparently, comments help a video get elevated by CZcams's algorithms so, even though I almost never comment on anything, I felt I should make a comment on this so that more people can find it more easily. Thnk you, Aces Wild, I found this very helpful. 🙂
I want to hear from more people who have none of the 4, particularly the no arousal and drive part. Like, zero stirrings of the anatomy whatsoever throughout your whole life. Don’t even know what it would feel like; only analog you have is that a good sneeze is satisfying, ya feel? I’m sure there must be those people in the ace community but I never hear from them, and would like to know. Thanks for the video!
thankyou so much for creating this video, it really assisted in my definition of asexuality because often arousal is confused with attraction!!
Asking a allosexual psychologist about asexuality is like asking a fish what thinks about the air when the fish throughout his life has only known the water and does not understand another reality than that.
I apologize if my metaphor does not make sense in English, but it was the best comparison I could think of. My mother tongue is Spanish and I am not good at English.
La excitación sexual es solo una reacción fisiológica. Para mí que soy asexual es como un reflejo de mi cuerpo. En mi caso este reflejo involuntario puede aparecer en respuesta ante un estímulo visual, auditivo o táctil como también el reflejo puede aparecer espontáneamente durante mis días de
ovulación sin razón aparente.
Es un fenómeno absolutamente biológico que no afecta a mi psiquis. Es solo mi cuerpo el que reacciona y no influye para nada esta respuesta biológica en mi voluntad. Solo es mi cuerpo funcionando adecuadamente sin afectar en nada en mi comportamiento Mi mente nunca ha sido invadida por irracionales deseos animales de apareamiento que perturben mi razón. A pesar de que mi cuerpo puede estar excitado sexualmente yo me encuentro siempre en mis plenas facultades mentales.
claro pues te compreendo mucho bien. tu no tenes desejo sexual pero si sientes lá atracion sexual. muy bien. felicitationes
this video is so good... great job guys!
Thank you 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I would say that people who experience attraction but don't have desire shouldn't identify as asexual because it kind of invalidates people who do not experience attraction..? Since, as you said, desire is mostly your choice. You are not attracted to someone, but they have this skill in something therefore is convenient for you to have sex with them, so it's your thoughts about it, and it's logical of you to have sex with them, but attraction is purely about your feelings. You can not decide whether you are gonna feel attracted towards someone and nothing about them can change that. The whole purpose of lgbt+ community is to stop people from thinking that it's our choice to be gay, trans, ace, etc. But also, i don't think it would be fair for people without desire to identify as allosexual, because than people perceive you like someone who wants to and is willing to have sex, but that's not who you are. Another essential reason why does lgbt+ exists is because you want people to know who you are so you don't have to live in a shadow of cis-hetero-normative person, that you are just clearly not. With knowing all this, i think it would be most reasonable for people without any desire whatsoever to call themselves graysexual or somewhere on middle parts of acespectrum, since they are not complete incapable of attraction, but they still do not feel desire to have sex therefore do not comply to stereotypical allosexual behavior... does it make sense, have i forgotten about something, do you have anything you would want to add?
I do have sex drive and arousal, but when it comes to do have an intercourse with another person I get blocked and automatically numb my sensations. Also, I really don't know if I ever experience sexual attraction and desire: my idea of them might be different from the common idea. I can't understand wether this js a sign of asexuality or of psychological blocks: how can I tell the difference?
These definitions are good, but the jump cuts are distracting and unprofessional.
+AGrayPhantom Very sorry the jump cuts are distraction, but I am most certainly not a professional. I'm a statistician. I created and edited this video entirely on my own (with helpful critiques from wonderful people), and pay significantly more money for asexual organizing and outreach work than I could ever hope to get paid back.
If you're volunteering to help with the editing process though, please let me know!
Aces Wild
Ha! I wish! I'm no editor, and have been looking to get one for my gaming channel ^_^;
Anyway, are you the lady from the video? Or are you the man behind the curtain? :3
Hello from my other channel; If "sexual desire is the desire to have sex with a person or person's", then surely it is the same as sexual attraction, 'where you want (desire) to experience sex with another another person/persons?' - because you are aiming that at someone' I am ace as you know, but been in more than one sexual relationship before. I would say that sexual desire aimed at a specific person is the same as sexual attraction - Although a sexual person may also desire to have the sex itself, with anyone, because they are sexual and need and want sex.
desire doesn't have to be directed at someone. you can be ace and wish you would be sexual. that count as having the desire of being able to do sex even though you may still not feel any sexual attraction towards anyone.
Hi linkcell Thank you for explaining that, I am asexual but find this hard to wrap my head around as personally to me they are the same thing with one exception, even when I know to many other aces that it isn't the same thing. That is very helpful.
+Asexualise My Asexual Life yes, it is especially hard to explain when the person has arousal, drive and desire, but no attraction... it could be a very small step but one that would make all the difference, for example, between wanting to have sex or being dragged to perform sex (because you still have arousal and drive - and to other people's eyes that could only mean one thing!).
Thanks for explaining. Personally as I am not sexually attracted to someone, I cannot desire to have sex with them, as I am not sexual and don't desire the sex itself. So that is how come sexual attraction and desire is the same thing for me as an asexual.