Our Heavenly Father, we pray that you wrap your loving arms around Cullen and Katie during this time. Let them stay close to you so that they walk beside you each and everyday. We pray for their precious family and that they all know and feel your love. Heal them dear Lord and let them know that they are precious. Guide them during every moment in their lives so that they will be a light to each and every one of us. Our Father, use Cullen and Katie to always be as one, and allow them to be the positive voice to help others who might be going through the same situation. They are so very special to many dear Lord. Let them know how much they are loved. Cullen and Katie, you and your family will be in our prayers. Let God be your strength. When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles - Psalms 34:17
It hurts my heart to see all of the people in the comments also struggling from depression, but it just shows what a positive impact you guys have by sharing your story.
You have given so many people hope by posting this video. The best thing any parent can give their children is a happy marriage. I know if Gains and Brooks could tell you, they would thank you for caring enough about each other to keep trying. Love you and hoping for the best for all of you.
A strong marriage requires loving your spouse even in those moments when they aren't being loveable ; it means believing in them even when they struggle to believe in themselves. 💕 Prayers to your family .
I don't understand some of these comments. why the hell watch if u don't agree with their life? I know everyone is in titled to their own opinion but this wasn't the video to be throwing out rude insensitive comments. Katie is absolutely right and should block and delete those who disrespect her family. This is the most real and raw video I've seen yet. That took mad courage. I don't think u should stop u utube what so ever that just shows how uneducated society is about this. yall working and being with each other 24/7 doesn't make a difference. It's a chemical imbalance. I've read these comments the last 3 videos, "stop utube" "get real jobs". why u watching then? I and thousands of others appreciated u both for having the strength to do this. Much love and respect to ur family from mine.
Debbikins it's true, though. How can she expect her husband to stay interested in her when she let herself go and put on so much weight. She needs to take responsibility.
OhOh ItsMagic let's face it, we all have at some point, life happens, but while he is dealing with his issues she is the one taking care of everything and everyone else, we all lose track sometimes, and you cannot sit there and tell me that you are perfect because I know better
EatPlums This is what I hate about people like you! The majority of men are always taught to be strong! If they cry, they are considered weak etc! That mindset can make it so much worse! Stereotypes on both women and men isn’t okay! Gender stereotypes can cause so much harm and bullying could happen too! I love how Cullen is expressing his emotions because of how brave it is! It isn’t always easy to talk about what is going on in your life and what is troubling you! Talking in front of a camera would be even more difficult again! Both Cullen and katie have been through so much, depression is ruthless as well which doesn’t help! It can take hold of anyone regardless of their situation! Society doesn’t need to have all those rules! Everyone has emotions and everyone should be allowed to express them! Keeping your emotions bottled for too long isn’t healthy either! Your emotions aren’t too “feminine or too “oprah-ish” and it’s not embarrassing! If you can talk to someone you can trust then that can help too!
I had to pause this at 6:08 to write this comment. I don’t think I have ever seen a man cry. Not my dad, not my brother in law, no boyfriend or friend. To see you cry first brought tears to my own eyes. Secondly, it made me feel a weird sense of relief. I am proud of you for showing your emotions because it is not easy no matter who you are. But being able to show them, to others, that might be feeling similar emotions is a wonderful thing you are doing with the platform you have. I have nothing but endless prayers and love for both of you. I know words might be hard right now but I, as well as many others, have the utmost faith in both of you and I hope you can carry that with you some days. I love y’all.
Four years ago I found your channel and instantly fell in love and looked up to you guys as the PERFECT couple. Today I fell in love with you guys all over again as the most REAL example of true love. It’s not always pretty, it’s hard, and sometimes it just plain sucks. But you guys are fighting the good fight for each other and for your family. Thank you for allowing us to see this side of you - the world (and CZcams) needs more of this ❤️
Cullen looks totally crushed I think you guys need a holiday break away from social media go away and just enjoy yourself as a family we will all be here when you get back don’t let social media destroy your marriage love and huge hugs sent xxxx
Valentine I agree! I haven’t watched CZcams in months and I came back recently and he has lost weight also so you can tell he is stressed and going thru things
Hi guys. Depression is dibiltating. I don't care who you are. I lived 30 years in depression. I'm 41. Self-harm for a good 20 years. I'm on medication, a lot of it. You'll get better Cullen. Keep talking with Katie. Don't close up and leave the ones who love you out. They love you and care. Hugs to you both!
If love and touch is Katie's love language, Cullen, it's important you give her what she needs. Just as it's important she gives you what your love language is. :)
Wow did you 2 ever nail this. 100% Guys you are very much on the road to recovery now. You will stumble but you are going to make it. I too was completely in your shoes. I'm healed. It always seems impossible until you have beaten it. YOU WILL BEAT IT.
That Chicken Purse Chick just because they are speaking about it doesnt mean all is well inside...Take chester bennington from linkin park who spoke to everyone about depression however inside he was still a mess.
If only all bloggers were this honest, the rest of the world would realise that no one has a completely rosy life, and wouldn't beat themselves up comparing themselves with people who on the outside appear to have the perfect life. No one does, all relationships take work, a lot of work! You guys can do this!
there is still SO much stigma around depression and anxiety. SO MUCH. and SO MANY even when people are able to take that brave leap and admit that they're depressed, there's even more stigma about feeling like they should be able to get out of it really quickly once you admit it and start working on it. it can take years to get out of a bad depression. and that's OKAY!!!!!!!!! thank you so much for being brave and for being honest, that is the only way things will start to change!
For the past several years I've asked God for a word for the year. One year it was Balance. I was like ya, I need more balance in my life and I tried to work on that. This year the word he gave me was ARK. Like Noah and the Ark. I got to thinking about that story and realized how we have glamorized it and made it so cute with the animals walking 2 by 2 etc. What you forget is that they were on that boat for a LONG time filled with stinky animals and a whole lot of crap. Rocking and rolling. All they probably wanted was off that dang boat BUT God had a plan and knew in order to be saved they had to stay in the boat. Stay in the boat Cullen and Katie. Run to Jesus. Give him everything you've got. ((((HUGS))) and prayers coming your way!!!
Oh, you guys I relate to this so much. I felt very similar after Irene & never talked about it either really. And it can be so hard on a marriage and so hard when you are trying to vlog your life and you're in such a public space. We have disappeared a few timse because in a lot of ways CZcams can be helpful but also really challenging. I just wish I could crawl right in through the camera and hug you both! We're here for you if you ever want to talk and we care about you so much.
Hi Sudden Kimpact I have been so glad to see youz back, and your carZZZZZ drama OMG You are super hero's , thats when you just look up to the sky and say WHAT IS GOING ON ....wooooooo
At first I felt bad for you guys and then when you started talking about your feelings and thoughts.. I realized I’m going through the same thing. I definitely needed to see this so thank you 😔
I do hope you realize how many people you may have helped by posting this video.....I know the video was made to let your subscribers know about 'what's going on" (as if it's any of our business!) I don't watch a lot of family you tubers but of the 4 or 5 I do watch you are THE MOST REAL couple I have ever seen.....and I want to thank you for that....people have to know that some of the family vloggers who's lives are shown as always good, always happy, always fun.....are not real life. So my wish is for continued healing for your family b/c we, your subscribers, will be here for whatever you need to do for you!
So proud of you guys for putting the light on this! My husband suffered from deep depression after a losing his job when we were first married. I had no idea how to help and took his sadness personally. Things deteriorated so much we talked about divorce daily. We decided to PRAY & Get therapy together. Prayer and therapy really was able to heal us from the inside out and now I feel like I understand depression so much more and will be better prepared when/if it comes up again. Sending big hugs and prayers to you two!❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for this. Thank you for being so open and honest and explaining how you’re working through things both individually and together. I don’t look up to you and your family because you’re perfect, I watch and admire you because you’re not and neither am I and sometimes it helps to see how genuinely good, committed people deal with everyday things. Some inspiration and role modeling for the rest of us :)
I have been dealing with horrible postpartum depression and it has taken a HUGE toll on my relationship with my fiancé. Seeing people be so open and so real about these hard times but continue to drive towards happiness helps in ways you that you have no idea. Thank you so much Katie and Cullen. God bless and I hope you find peace and happiness. ❤️
Cullen and Katie you are both incredible people. You are so brave, honest and allow yourselves to be vulnerable, all admirable qualities. Thank you for sharing your experiences with depression, it can only help break the stigma of mental health. I have been in that same dark, isolative place that you described. It is a scary place and self harm did come to my mind. Thanks to the love of my two children I sought intensive help and I’m happy to report the dark place is a distant memory. God Bless and keeping you in my prayers. It was a relief to finally see you guys today!!!!!
I hope you feel better Cullen. My heart breaks seeing how much weight you have lost. You are clearly in deep pain and I pray that the new medicine helps. Don’t feel pressured to vlog right now. Maybe y’all need to step back and take a break from CZcams for a while . Heal your family. That’s the priority.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I have almost hit call to my doctor about 10 times this last week. I am struggling. Being a mom of 2 has hit me HARD. I snap at my toddler just like you were saying. I wanted to throw in the towel on my marriage countless times in the last 6 months. Its such a scary place to be. Thinking I can’t be a mom I’m not cut out for it. I just want to lay in bed all day, if I could I would. But tomorrow morning I will call. You made me feel like it’s ok to not be ok. ❤️
Just an opinion here (and I haven't read any others so if there are others that said this same thing, sorry!)...but if you "almost hit call" to your doctor because of your struggle ...I think you SHOULD. There is NO SHAME in saying "Hey, I need help".
Mental health is so easy to brush under a rug, but mental health is soooo important. Neither one of you are alone. Praying hard for your family! It gets better. You have God on your side and you’re willing to fight, I would say this is a great day to be alive. 💙
There is a obvious love for each other. You can get through this, I think a big help would be just give up the camera for a couple months and just work on yourselves. You can’t do this with cameras on all the time. Like you said youtube makes everyone seem perfect, No one is and it really is sad fans think that.
TinaBallina Maybe it’s time to go look for jobs outside of youtube. There is no way they can heal their relationship with cameras running all the time.
This past Thursday my 17 yr old cousin took her own life. She was a senior in high school, top 10 in her class, and ready to serve God. My Family is beyond heartbroken she had just started therapy and getting help. She did everything in her will to help others and she was so outspoken and strong willed. She did everything she set her mind to. Today we laid her to rest and the amount of love and support shown by our Family, Friends, her Friends, Teacher and community was so over whelming and amazing. But I urge you to seek help if you need it. Someone wants to listen and someone does care. It’s okay to admit you are not okay.
I am so very sorry for your loss.....praying that you and your family know comfort and strength at this time.....I lost my best friend in the summer, I know how painful grief can be 😓 Sending much love, many hugs and prayers 🙏🏻💕
Thank you for being brave enough to make this video. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, but I admire you both so much for sitting down and talking openly about depression and what you’re going through. You have an army of friends and family and FANS who are rooting you on. ❤️
Words to describe you both... Brave, Strong, Faithful, Compassionate, Loving, Amazing, Honest, REAL, Relatable, Humble, Graceful.... seriously could go on and on about the GOOD things about you both. I don’t know the details of the situation and neither does anyone else, nor should anyone, marriage is intimate and some things like Katie said need to stay between the two of you. BUT although I don’t know the details, I can tell that no matter the issues you guys CAN get through this! I pray you both hold tight to your faith and constantly remind yourselves why you love each other! I pray your relationship comes out stronger after this valley.... God can use the ugliest times of our lives and make something beautiful! Thank you all for being to authentic, you two are very special people! You have no idea how many people you are probably helping by making these videos! Thank you, and may God bless you both!
I understand this alot...with the depression everyone used to ask me why you depressed, there has to be a reason....but most of the time there wasn't a reason everything was right and great but I was depressed Y'all are great, hope youll heal during this time, and hope the depression will loosen it's grip.
Simply RaeAnn agreed... alot of people end up beating themselves over it when it's something they for the most part cant control without some sort of help whether that be talking to someone or medication. I know it's very hard to open up about depression cuz negativity can make it worse.
Angel Mae Ive had this to, it wasnt very bad or something, I kept going with things like school, but on the inside I felt soooo.... sad/depressed, most beacus I didn't feel good with myself, I wasn't happy with how I look and am. Than I found something I like to do, actually 2: I started playing guitar and I started doing more fun things with my friends. I feel better now, I still sometimes feel like that, but than I have something to get over it, I just think about coming home and do things I love, and I realized that other things don't mather.
Sometimes self harm and suicidal thoughts aren't what you think.. some people get to the point of not caring when they're in the car to wear their seat belt and don't care if something happens.. and it's terrifying when you're in the grips of that mental monster. Cullen, I'm so happy you're getting the help you need and the help Katie and the kids deserve. Praying for you guys.
Jenna Filbert Agreed! I'm currently getting help for PPD and PPA and looking back it got to a point where I would spend entire car trips trying to figure out if there was a way I could drive into oncoming traffic and my children be ok but me be gone. I would have sworn up and down that I wasn't suicidal but it would start as a thought and I would mindlessly hop on that thought train and over time it turned into almost a subconscious desire that would be forgotten the moment I got out of the vehicle
I honestly don't know what to say about this video because we see you guy's all happy and prefect but then you go off camera we have no idea what's going on then to see this video it is sad to see you guys struggling with depression and your relationship so I hope you guys can figure things out and I hope you know that we love and care about you guys.
The scariest thing for me was wondering will I ever be me again?!?!? Cullen I am me again and I am happy, now I have good days and bad but not because of depression, just real life. Praying for y'all. Just remember this is your testimony this is what you can use to help someone else. Reach out to Jesus he is there.
I came across this video through suggested videos of other family vloggers that I’ve been watching on and off lately. I used to follow you guys three years ago, when I was with my ex. My depression was so bad that I almost failed out of college, I could barely work at my amazing job, and my relationship was garbage. But your videos, along with Ellie and Jared, gave me an out. In the way that when I was feeling hopeless about life, I would watch your videos and feel okay about where I was. You guys gave me hope for my future. Cullen, please know that your dedication to showing the internet your life is what helped pull me out of my depression years ago. I still love you guys. You have an amazing support in Katie and you will learn how to be yourself with this.
Cullen I am sorry you are going through this now. The book of Psalms helped me in my darkest hour. David had a lot of bad things going on around him yet his prayers to God we’re beautiful and comforting to all of us that “go through the valley of the shadow of death”. I am praying for you.
My husband and I have been really struggling with this lately for the past few weeks, and I really needed this. Thank you for showing this vulnerable side of your lives. Sincerely wish nothing but the best for you both and your sweet family.
Y'all need to work on spending more time as a couple. Kids especially toddlers take a huge toll on a marriage. My husband and I have had 2 stillborns and we have 5 living kids. I've also had a major surgery. Marriages go through ups and downs and we have been where y'all are now. Katie forgiveness is the hardest to do but it is totally worth it. Hugs to both of you. Forget the haters. Y'all have a lot of fans praying for you ;)
I was crying at your montage at the end. We are so lucky that you have decided to share your lives with us. We have missed you but take all the time you need xxxx
Oh, my gosh! Thank you for you honesty. I think there are a few other CZcamsrs should make this realization and face the truth. Many women have done it, but never men.
I was dealing with the same problem in my marriage but the way we turned that around is by changing our lifestyle sometimes doing the same thing everyday can be tired some so we decided to start living a more healthier life style. We went on walks we starting making healthier meals together and exercising helped a lot. We started to push each other and just that made us grow stronger. Exercise helps so much with depression because your body needs that energy to feel better.
I have been watching you guys since before Gaines was born and I am so proud to see how far you guys have come!! You’re an amazing family!! You are very brave for being able to open yourself up to everyone about such a personal subject!! What passage were you guys before the video? Love you guys so much and just stay strong!!❤️
Have you thought about having hormone levels checked? I went through something similar to this and I had a severe deficiency in vitamin D as well as other things that could mimic depression. Keep up the forward movement you will make it through.
Nikita Embree I was going to comment the same thing. Getting hormones and vitamin/mineral levels checked, when dealing with depression, should be the first step.
Taking Vitamin D supplements totally surprised me, made me feel so much better physically and mentally. Good idea to get a good physical exam and blood work if you haven't already.
You should do research on food to eat to fight depression, food intake is a big part of depression. Also doing outdoor activities & getting fit helps sooo much.
Been watching y'all since before you were pregnant with Gaines, and I had just had my baby girl a few months before you had Gaines. I also had a baby boy about a month before you had Brooks, so it feels like I'm seeing an alternate reality of my life, haha (also, I'm originally from Vestavia - now living in FL). I relate to this video so much. I had severe PPD the entire first year of my son's life, and it put a huge strain on my and my husband's relationship. I'm finally starting to come out of that darkness, and my husband and I are working on a lot of the same things you guys are. Rooting for y'all. Take time off if you need it. We will always wait!
First time watcher! Forever subscriber! I too suffered in the past with depression and anxiety. What non-sufferers don’t comprehend is that this is a sickness just like cancer or high blood pressure or diabetes. As a Christian it’s awesome that you have such a huge platform to reach others going through this very thing. In my personal opinion I feel that God may “allow” this journey in your life because of your obedience and willingness to share such a private part of your life. Praying for nothing but good for you both here on out.
Praying so hard for you guys! We know first hand what you are both dealing with. It's so hard, and a lot of people don't understand. Thank you for talking openly about this though because a lot of people don't.
Anxiety is a very lonely feeling because you don’t feel safe en secure in your own mind and body and you can n’t run away of it. I know so too. Believe me, time will come that you see the light again and feel the colors and peace as well again. Be patience and be kind to yourself. You two are the best! 💞😚
This vlog was a brave thing to do. It shows you care. It shows commitment. It shows character. It shows humility. It shows strength. It shows love. It shows honesty. These are all great elements you have going for you. God bless.
I have suffered with depression and anxiety over the last 14 years . I’m at a place now where most days are great but there are still days where it hits me. It’s okay to be okay. It’s okay to feel those feelings . This being said keep talking, keep loving,keep holding on to those you love . Sending you all an extra hug today . If you don’t need it today put it in your pocket for a day that you do ❤️
It seems to work for Ellie and Jared on two days behind it will work for you to. Please know when I was fighting depression I started to watch Ellie and Jared that how I met you guys I couldn't stop watching you guys because you guys bright light to my life. If it wasn't for Ellie and Jared and you guys I Probaly wouldn't got through it lot easier. I want to thank your family for being who you are. I be praying for you guys and love you guys keep your chin up
hello. i’m not a regular watcher but i’ve seen a few videos of yours and stumbled upon this. you all probably won’t read this but i just wanted to share my story. i’ve battled depression for the past two years. the most difficult part is the feeling of i have nothing to be upset about or maybe i’m just sad. it’s fluctuated some months weeks even days good others horrible days where i didn’t get out of bed and had horrifying thoughts. right now i’m good but i’m so scared that this won’t last. things are hard for me right now and i’m worried i might crumble soon. seeing this i realized that getting help isn’t a sign of weakness. it means your strong. i will be telling my friend tonight and trying to get up the courage to get help. so thank you for sharing. the impact of it is probably more than your realize. thank you
You guys are great. You need time, take time. Those who watch and love your videos will be here. Being humans is hard enough, being parents is hard enough without adding in being entertainers which is essentially what y'all are. To have to perform and make videos every day is taxing on the soul and the family. Thoughts and prayers with you.
Cullen and Katie, I used to be a subscriber, I unsubscribed like a year ago, I’m going to be really honest to, I was a fan from day one, back to the time when tu guys got the u haul stuck on that hill in front of your first apartment, but the vlogs started to be almost like staged, fake I couldn’t relate anymore, this goes for 2 other channels that are close friends to tu guys, but after seeing this is like a reunion with my old friends, I’m going to my own struggles with 4 kids 1 stepson and my husband, it’s hard and listening to you guys it’s so reassuring, don’t give up, tu guys give me hope 🙏🏼 I just subscribed again glad to have you back guys love you
I think one of the things people don't realise is the thoughts you have is a whole different you, it's the depression making you feel and believe certain things and that's what leads you to hurting yourself and things, but whenever the cloud lifts for a little while you're a whole other person, you can be shocked or embarrassed ect that you've hurt yourself but in the moment you can't control those thoughts I love you guys ❤️
I have social anxiety disorder and have suffered with depression for years so I completely understand and I agree that people use these terms far too lossely, I've seen so many people say things like 'this gives me so much anxiety' because they're a bit nervous or anxious about a situation but thats completely different to actually having an anxiety disorder. I'm so glad you guys can open up about this❤️
as someone who also suffers from depression and anxiety, i totally understand the state of mind and the different medications and then feeling like they aren't doing what you want it to be doing. the worst part about depression is being aware of it but you can't make your brain respond the way you want it to. the whole thing is hard , probably the hardest thing you'll ever deal with in life. but we can get through this , even if it takes a while. do what you need to do to get better we all love you guys and just want yall to be happy and healthy!!
Cullen I am going through the same thing currently. Have been depressed for 4 years but didn't know, just finally realizing what was going on. It's extremely overwhelming to be able to feel things again, it's scary. I am so proud of how you are handling this especially in the public eye. Good luck on your journey
Thank you for sharing something so personal! 💕 I am also dealing with depression and having panic attack’s, for the last 4 yrs. It’s not easy dealing with it, and everyday is a struggle. Pls continue to be there for each other no matter what the outcome is with your relationship, always be there for each other 💕🙏🏻
Depression and sadness almost destroyed our 30 year marriage. The deaths of our daughter, my parents and my only sibling all within 5 years and leaving me the sole survivor of both sides of my family, losing our horses, and many other things, combined with my chronic pain and illnesses have all but shut us down. We are also raising our 2 grandsons 3 years into retirement. It’s a lot to deal with. We will never be who we used to be and are pretty much lost in our own little worlds. We are not whole people anymore. Maybe we will never be. Nobody said life is easy, but in my wildest nightmares I never imagined my life would take the turns that it has. I understand all to well about pushing your emotions under the rug. Mine are buried so deep that I can’t even cry. Our daughter and my family live in urns on the fireplace mantle, and come to me in my dreams EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. They have for years now. Strange, dark repetitive dreams that leave me sweating and disturbed when I wake up. I know they have moved on, and it’s my suppressed grief that is causing the dreams. But knowing why something IS does not automatically make it easy to accept. For years afterwards, we took every bit of our pain out on each other because nobody else was there. Our fighting reached levels that were downright shocking. It’s like we were strangers to each other. And like you said, we lost all of our ability to care and divorce seemed like a blessing instead of a curse. Don’t let anyone tell you that antidepressant medication is unnecessary and that your doctor only prescribed them because he/she is in collusion with “big Pharma.” I hate that stupid term. Medication has been overused but it has also saved MANY LIVES. Nobody has any right to judge anyone else. The good thing is that you two recognized that you need help and got it. It’s been 9, 8, 6 and 5 years since my family and daughter died and I am no closer to grieving normally that I was 8 years ago. It’s like time has stood still. My husband and I sleep in a split King bed next to each other. We are rarely affectionate anymore, and we are both ok with that at this point in the game. Our 3 Chihuahuas aka the bedbugs sleep with us. All my affection goes to my grandsons, and all my husband’s goes to his favorite dog 🐕. But at this point our relationship is about the needs of the many and not the needs of one particular person. So here we sit. We are still together 33 years into it. We are both on medication and it does help. We are learning to be more polite and respectful of each other’s feelings. He is working on going back to work. We both are working on getting out of bed and back into the game of life, even if that life is far different than it used to be. We must accept that the way we are now is the “new normal”. Life is like that. The great Wheel of Life has its seasons, and like the Earth herself we mere mortals must weather our own storms. If we can learn to bend even a little; to “give” during our neediest times instead of taking...then when the truly hard winds hit, we stand a lot less chance of breaking. Peace, AM
I have PPD too and it's so hard. It's so so hard. Thank you for this video, and for saying out loud the things that people who are struggling are so scared to say.
Thank you for being so open about what you’ve been dealing with. Several close people to me suffer with depression, but your description of it helps me understand what their going through better. I appreciate that. This will help countless others who are going or will go through similar experiences. You will be made stronger than ever for fighting for what is right than giving up. God bless you!
I had no intention to watch this full video, but I did, and it was amazing. You guys nailed the feelings of depression right on the head. I personally have never had anyone explain it as well as you guys did. Thank you. ❤️ My pastor just preached a sermon on Sunday night. He said something that has been stuck in my mind that I want to share with you both. He said that instead of praying for behavior modification, we need to pray for God to change our hearts. Because only God can change hearts. I don’t know if that is helpful at all but I wanted to share. God bless!
One of the hardest things about depression is explaining it to someone that hasn't gone through it. Thank you for making this video. You guys explained it so well.
Rebecca Jo-Ann So very true! Trying to explain it to someone whose never been there is like talking to a brick wall...they don't get it or they act like you are speaking a diff language...
I realize this is several months old. I totally understand where you are coming from. I have dealt with PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder and Panic Disorder. Unfortunately most people don't understand unless they've been there. I have one book I have read over and over, it's very helpful, written by a pastor that said when he was studying for the ministry there was nothing that taught them how to deal with people depression. Written by David Seamands, "Healing For. Damaged Emotions". I'm 61, I've dealt with depression since 16, my parents didn't accept the diagnosis. At 29 I crashed. I crashed 3 times because I only got help from Family Practice Docs. Finally I checked myself into a place for 2 weeks. Learned about my disease, medication, coping skills, and sometimes you just need someone to listen, no judgement... if you ever need a friend... I've been where you are. My only advise is get a doctor that specializes in mental disorders, get counceling, and at some point time yourself... I put myself in time out... I tell my family or whoever I need 30 minutes, and I go to a room alone, and literally talk to myself... I ask myself "why did this upset you so much" talk it out... then go back to that person more times than not, it's me... I figure out my trigger and can explain to the other person what just happenen, what triggered me. As far as the marriage I found 2 books, "Love Is A Decision", "The Marriage You've Always Wanted".... these books are written one by the father one by the son, Last nsme Smalley. They also have ministry camps. My husband and I would read 30 minutes before going to sleep. He would read outloud... we'd talk about it, so very helpful. You will both be in my prayers.
I think without this video I’d never know what’s depression or that I’ve kinda suffer from it at some point in my life ( the time it was uploaded) Thank you and best wishes 🌷
Cullen when u broke down I also broke down crying, during the months of Feb. March April and May I have lost in order my mother both of my brothers and my sister they all tragically passed away, feeling so alone all the time really sucks, I have been dealing with PTSD and depression for years! So hang in there my friends!
I will be praying for you. You’re never alone. 💜 We recently lost my father in law and my husbands Aunt in just 2 months apart. It is so hard to lose a parent.
Well let's see I lost my older brother at the age of 22 by suicide, I was 16 yrs old when I found him hanging in his closet, then my other brother was 41 when he was hit on his Harley by a drunk driver,, my sister died in my arms at the age of 39, she code blued 3 times on me so finally I said no more let her go, she died from chronic alcoholism. Then my mom passed 2 years ago it will be the 11 the of Feb. She had congestive heart failure and had cancer then she had a stroke and she passed about a month later. So other personal things have happened when I was way younger. Thank u for commenting!💟
I’ve been watching you all since the very beginning and now I’m 21 and married to my child hood friend. It hasn’t always been easy but we look at every new day as a learning opportunity to learn how to love each other and ourselves the way we deserve and how to love our relationship the way it deserves even when that means putting what seems like something else that is important on the back burner. We stumble and we argue and some times it’s an all out fight but when we cool off we make the decision to stay and to build and to work hard at what we have because it is a blessing that some people go their whole time on earth never experiencing the feeling we have for each other. That stupid love is a gift and it’s hard to see through the clouds of depression and the busy life and stress we put on ourselves daily. But you all are worth it. I have a quote that I hope helps you all as much as it does us we even put it in our vows “At the heart of every true connection is vulnerability.. the willingness to simply be your broken self,rather than an improved facade of the truth.The boldness to be imperfect without apology “ this is Love. We are all broken and bent and bruised but lean on your partner show them how to heal parts of themselves and they’ll show you in return. Some parts only god can heal and some bruises will just move to a different spot because we are human and we are not perfect or indestructible. Thank you all so much for sharing.
My mother took her own life a few years ago and I have battled postpartum depression. Mental health is my sore point, my fight, and my passion. Prayers for you guys and thank you for shedding a light on mental health and I pray your light gets brighter.
You guys are amazing. Thank you for being so raw and real. There is such a sigma on depression that no one wants to talk about, and y'all getting this out there is going to help so many people! Praying for you both!
People seem to think that just by looking that they can tell if someone should or shouldn't be depressed. That is not the case because no one but that person knows what they have / are going through. The main thing is for you two as a couple to work together to be the healthiest possible. For you both to get the help that you need and work on things to the best of your abilities. I'm very glad and proud of you both that you have the strength to share this with us. Keep at it and know that your supported and your family loves you. I can see that you have a wonderful lady at your side who is very supportive. Praying for complete healing for you as I know that depression is a very deep hard struggle. I deal with bipolar on a daily basis along with other mental health issues. Its hard people think that because you can't see it that its not a true illness. You two are strong brave people and keep working at it. Don't beat yourself up if you slide back a little. Sometimes you seem to be taking steps forward and something seems to make it as though your backwards a ways. But don't fear you will still move forward its a roller coaster. Don't beat yourself up that makes it worse in my opinion.
I’ve battled with depression for as long as I can remember and I’ve always felt like people never understood that I can’t “just be happy”. It’s extremely therapeutic for me to see this and realize that you really don’t know what’s going on in other people’s lives and people that you think have everything can be struggling the same way I do. ❤️
Thanks for breaking the silence ... mental illness is so common. I suffered from PPD-anxiety and it took a toll on our marriage. Quickly following, my husband was diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety. All too common and HARD to live through. Xoxox
“We’re gonna try not to make this video too long...” 😂 You guys are so open and I cannot imagine how hard that is, but so many people need to hear that they are not alone in these struggles, because EVERYONE goes through this. Literally every single marriage has these times. You all are in my prayers. Put yourselves first right now. Love ya’ll so much. 💕💕
We dont expect yall to be perfect. We dont expect yall to have the perfect relationship, be the perfect parents. One day at a time. Do what works for you and your family. Breaks are needed. Just take care of yourselves. Depression is real.
My husband and I have been married 16 year next month. My husband has had depression and anxiety for most (of his life too) our married life, it has been our story. We’ve made some hard decisions and we got help about 4 years ago. It was the best decision we made. Through help with friends, family and our church family we were able to be supported and God did some amazing things through that time, even though it was one of the hardest most difficult times in our lives. Please know Our family is praying for you! God will never leave or forsake you. One of my precious verses that carry me even during this time, is 2 When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. Isaiah 43:2
My mother suffered from chronic depression all her life. She finally got on some meds that really helped her but I was already an adult by then. Growing up I really didn't understand. I couldn't figure out why she didn't just snap out of it, did she want to be that way? But then as an adult I spent more time with her and we were able to talk to each other as adults. I came to realize she really couldn't control it. She couldn't just snap out of it. And that realization just made me love her even more. I think it's wonderful that you are talking about this. More men need to stand up and talk about and support each other. Know that we love you and we are here to support you!
(30 Min mark comment) Seeing traits or patterns in yourself that you recognize in your own parent(s) doesn't mean it's who YOU are. Because you can identify the things you do not like, you can change your actions and reactions with the family God has blessed you with and do things differently. You are not the sum of the negative things of your father. Remember that. I know that me as a viewer watching your vlogs only gives a very tiny glimpse into your lives but, your children are not old enough to know how to "play a part" when the camera is rolling and the way they interact lovingly with you in such a natural way is very telling to the viewers that you are a great and loving father and that you are a great and loving mother. You do not have to be a product of your childhood environment if you don't want to be. Let II Corinthians 5:17 become engrained onto your hearts. I am cheering you guys on and praying you finish life's race in the best Hebrews 12:1 possible. (You guys don't even have to run if you don't have the strength, you can hobble along at a bare minimum crawl and that is good enough. *HUG!!
I read a thing a while ago that said “ depression doesn’t care about your status in life” or something like that so basically, you can be super rich and have everything you could ever want, but you can still have depression. Mental illnesses don’t discriminate. I’m so glad you came out with it because I have depression and anxiety and it’s very hard to have alone.
You guys are so real ❤️ and I appreciate your honesty. My husband and I both suffered from post pardon depression and we fought all the time. We are working through it, and it is one of the hardest things! I appreciate you opening up the door for this conversation and helping others! I truly believe this is going to help someone else.
Wow the part where Katie said when she had post partum depression and she felt like she would never be normal again...That really REALLY hit home for me. I suffer regularly from depression and anxiety. but i had pretty bad post partum depression after giving birth to my daughter a year ago. It was one of the most scariest things for me because I just did not feel myself. Seeing you guys be so real and emotional makes me feel so much more human. 💗 Thank y’all for being fearless in sharing your journey. It’s what I needed today.
Our Heavenly Father, we pray that you wrap your loving arms around Cullen and Katie during this time. Let them stay close to you so that they walk beside you each and everyday. We pray for their precious family and that they all know and feel your love. Heal them dear Lord and let them know that they are precious. Guide them during every moment in their lives so that they will be a light to each and every one of us. Our Father, use Cullen and Katie to always be as one, and allow them to be the positive voice to help others who might be going through the same situation. They are so very special to many dear Lord. Let them know how much they are loved. Cullen and Katie, you and your family will be in our prayers. Let God be your strength.
When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles - Psalms 34:17
Aimee Liner amen
Amen!
❤
Amen!!! A beautiful and perfect prayer. ❤️
Aimee Liner amen
Ps you’re more of a man to admit your feelings and take control than anything!! Amen to you Cullen!!!
It hurts my heart to see all of the people in the comments also struggling from depression, but it just shows what a positive impact you guys have by sharing your story.
Mrs Space Cadet thanks for saying this. ❤️
Thank you
You have given so many people hope by posting this video. The best thing any parent can give their children is a happy marriage. I know if Gains and Brooks could tell you, they would thank you for caring enough about each other to keep trying. Love you and hoping for the best for all of you.
A strong marriage requires loving your spouse even in those moments when they aren't being loveable ; it means believing in them even when they struggle to believe in themselves. 💕 Prayers to your family .
I don't understand some of these comments. why the hell watch if u don't agree with their life? I know everyone is in titled to their own opinion but this wasn't the video to be throwing out rude insensitive comments. Katie is absolutely right and should block and delete those who disrespect her family. This is the most real and raw video I've seen yet. That took mad courage. I don't think u should stop u utube what so ever that just shows how uneducated society is about this. yall working and being with each other 24/7 doesn't make a difference. It's a chemical imbalance. I've read these comments the last 3 videos, "stop utube" "get real jobs". why u watching then? I and thousands of others appreciated u both for having the strength to do this. Much love and respect to ur family from mine.
OutdoorLifeFamily talk about backwards mate, seriously get a grip and get out!!!
Debbikins it's true, though. How can she expect her husband to stay interested in her when she let herself go and put on so much weight. She needs to take responsibility.
OutdoorLifeFamily that's what you think... unless you are a doctor with a degree in this case what you think has no waiver on what they do whatsoever
OhOh ItsMagic let's face it, we all have at some point, life happens, but while he is dealing with his issues she is the one taking care of everything and everyone else, we all lose track sometimes, and you cannot sit there and tell me that you are perfect because I know better
EatPlums
This is what I hate about people like you!
The majority of men are always taught to be strong! If they cry, they are considered weak etc!
That mindset can make it so much worse!
Stereotypes on both women and men isn’t okay! Gender stereotypes can cause so much harm and bullying could happen too!
I love how Cullen is expressing his emotions because of how brave it is! It isn’t always easy to talk about what is going on in your life and what is troubling you! Talking in front of a camera would be even more difficult again!
Both Cullen and katie have been through so much, depression is ruthless as well which doesn’t help! It can take hold of anyone regardless of their situation!
Society doesn’t need to have all those rules! Everyone has emotions and everyone should be allowed to express them!
Keeping your emotions bottled for too long isn’t healthy either!
Your emotions aren’t too “feminine or too “oprah-ish” and it’s not embarrassing!
If you can talk to someone you can trust then that can help too!
I had to pause this at 6:08 to write this comment. I don’t think I have ever seen a man cry. Not my dad, not my brother in law, no boyfriend or friend. To see you cry first brought tears to my own eyes. Secondly, it made me feel a weird sense of relief. I am proud of you for showing your emotions because it is not easy no matter who you are. But being able to show them, to others, that might be feeling similar emotions is a wonderful thing you are doing with the platform you have. I have nothing but endless prayers and love for both of you. I know words might be hard right now but I, as well as many others, have the utmost faith in both of you and I hope you can carry that with you some days. I love y’all.
What a wonderful comment @Mia Fiore.
Yea depression doesn’t know your income level, or how big your house is, and it doesn’t care. It just takes over your life, and changes you.
missychelle33 this is amazing
The young family 3.0 it’s just the truth. ❤️
missychelle33 This is so true.
Four years ago I found your channel and instantly fell in love and looked up to you guys as the PERFECT couple. Today I fell in love with you guys all over again as the most REAL example of true love. It’s not always pretty, it’s hard, and sometimes it just plain sucks. But you guys are fighting the good fight for each other and for your family. Thank you for allowing us to see this side of you - the world (and CZcams) needs more of this ❤️
Cullen looks totally crushed I think you guys need a holiday break away from social media go away and just enjoy yourself as a family we will all be here when you get back don’t let social media destroy your marriage love and huge hugs sent xxxx
Valentine I agree! I haven’t watched CZcams in months and I came back recently and he has lost weight also so you can tell he is stressed and going thru things
Emma Hoffmaster I commented was ago that he has lost weight I feel so bad for them
it was a well deserved break ❤️ your marriage & family is more important than anything else! supporting y'all always through thick and thin
Hi guys. Depression is dibiltating. I don't care who you are. I lived 30 years in depression. I'm 41. Self-harm for a good 20 years. I'm on medication, a lot of it. You'll get better Cullen. Keep talking with Katie. Don't close up and leave the ones who love you out. They love you and care. Hugs to you both!
If love and touch is Katie's love language, Cullen, it's important you give her what she needs. Just as it's important she gives you what your love language is. :)
Jen Teal Aq
On a lighter note, loving the color coordination.
Wow did you 2 ever nail this. 100% Guys you are very much on the road to recovery now. You will stumble but you are going to make it. I too was completely in your shoes.
I'm healed. It always seems impossible until you have beaten it. YOU WILL BEAT IT.
That Chicken Purse Chick just because they are speaking about it doesnt mean all is well inside...Take chester bennington from linkin park who spoke to everyone about depression however inside he was still a mess.
If only all bloggers were this honest, the rest of the world would realise that no one has a completely rosy life, and wouldn't beat themselves up comparing themselves with people who on the outside appear to have the perfect life. No one does, all relationships take work, a lot of work! You guys can do this!
Don't give up on your marriage! A new partner never solves problems but will just bring new baggage to deal with. Keep it up!
Only about a minute in, but thank you so much for starting things out telling each other you love each other. I'm praying for y'all.
there is still SO much stigma around depression and anxiety. SO MUCH. and SO MANY even when people are able to take that brave leap and admit that they're depressed, there's even more stigma about feeling like they should be able to get out of it really quickly once you admit it and start working on it. it can take years to get out of a bad depression. and that's OKAY!!!!!!!!! thank you so much for being brave and for being honest, that is the only way things will start to change!
For the past several years I've asked God for a word for the year. One year it was Balance. I was like ya, I need more balance in my life and I tried to work on that. This year the word he gave me was ARK. Like Noah and the Ark. I got to thinking about that story and realized how we have glamorized it and made it so cute with the animals walking 2 by 2 etc. What you forget is that they were on that boat for a LONG time filled with stinky animals and a whole lot of crap. Rocking and rolling. All they probably wanted was off that dang boat BUT God had a plan and knew in order to be saved they had to stay in the boat. Stay in the boat Cullen and Katie. Run to Jesus. Give him everything you've got. ((((HUGS))) and prayers coming your way!!!
Oh, you guys I relate to this so much. I felt very similar after Irene & never talked about it either really. And it can be so hard on a marriage and so hard when you are trying to vlog your life and you're in such a public space. We have disappeared a few timse because in a lot of ways CZcams can be helpful but also really challenging. I just wish I could crawl right in through the camera and hug you both! We're here for you if you ever want to talk and we care about you so much.
Hi Sudden Kimpact I have been so glad to see youz back, and your carZZZZZ drama OMG You are super hero's , thats when you just look up to the sky and say WHAT IS GOING ON ....wooooooo
He's lost weight forsure. :(
Prayers going up for your family.
He'll be ok
At first I felt bad for you guys and then when you started talking about your feelings and thoughts.. I realized I’m going through the same thing. I definitely needed to see this so thank you 😔
mstens930 same with me
Same here
I could definitely relate!
Me to
I do hope you realize how many people you may have helped by posting this video.....I know the video was made to let your subscribers know about 'what's going on" (as if it's any of our business!) I don't watch a lot of family you tubers but of the 4 or 5 I do watch you are THE MOST REAL couple I have ever seen.....and I want to thank you for that....people have to know that some of the family vloggers who's lives are shown as always good, always happy, always fun.....are not real life. So my wish is for continued healing for your family b/c we, your subscribers, will be here for whatever you need to do for you!
So proud of you guys for putting the light on this! My husband suffered from deep depression after a losing his job when we were first married. I had no idea how to help and took his sadness personally. Things deteriorated so much we talked about divorce daily. We decided to PRAY & Get therapy together. Prayer and therapy really was able to heal us from the inside out and now I feel like I understand depression so much more and will be better prepared when/if it comes up again. Sending big hugs and prayers to you two!❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for this. Thank you for being so open and honest and explaining how you’re working through things both individually and together. I don’t look up to you and your family because you’re perfect, I watch and admire you because you’re not and neither am I and sometimes it helps to see how genuinely good, committed people deal with everyday things. Some inspiration and role modeling for the rest of us :)
I love how emotionally supportive Katie is as Cullen speaks! We love you guys!
SpielsWithSam is
Right? I noticed that too!
SpielsWithSam me too. I REALLY wish I had that with my stbx
I have been dealing with horrible postpartum depression and it has taken a HUGE toll on my relationship with my fiancé. Seeing people be so open and so real about these hard times but continue to drive towards happiness helps in ways you that you have no idea. Thank you so much Katie and Cullen. God bless and I hope you find peace and happiness. ❤️
Cullen and Katie you are both incredible people. You are so brave, honest and allow yourselves to be vulnerable, all admirable qualities. Thank you for sharing your experiences with depression, it can only help break the stigma of mental health. I have been in that same dark, isolative place that you described. It is a scary place and self harm did come to my mind. Thanks to the love of my two children I sought intensive help and I’m happy to report the dark place is a distant memory. God Bless and keeping you in my prayers. It was a relief to finally see you guys today!!!!!
Praising God for this work in progress. Thank you for sharing. That sounds so trite for me to say "thank you for sharing". but for real. Thank you.
The Frey Life love this comment Peter & Mary!
The Frey Life love your channel
I hope you feel better Cullen. My heart breaks seeing how much weight you have lost. You are clearly in deep pain and I pray that the new medicine helps. Don’t feel pressured to vlog right now. Maybe y’all need to step back and take a break from CZcams for a while . Heal your family. That’s the priority.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I have almost hit call to my doctor about 10 times this last week. I am struggling. Being a mom of 2 has hit me HARD. I snap at my toddler just like you were saying. I wanted to throw in the towel on my marriage countless times in the last 6 months. Its such a scary place to be. Thinking I can’t be a mom I’m not cut out for it. I just want to lay in bed all day, if I could I would. But tomorrow morning I will call. You made me feel like it’s ok to not be ok. ❤️
RAS FAM I could have written this post myself. I will call as well tomorrow! Making this promise to myself now!
Same 😔
Just an opinion here (and I haven't read any others so if there are others that said this same thing, sorry!)...but if you "almost hit call" to your doctor because of your struggle ...I think you SHOULD. There is NO SHAME in saying "Hey, I need help".
I was in the exact same place a year ago. Make the call. You'll be glad you did!
Mental health is so easy to brush under a rug, but mental health is soooo important. Neither one of you are alone. Praying hard for your family! It gets better. You have God on your side and you’re willing to fight, I would say this is a great day to be alive. 💙
His Needs Her Needs is an EXCELLENT book to read together. ♥️
There is a obvious love for each other. You can get through this, I think a big help would be just give up the camera for a couple months and just work on yourselves. You can’t do this with cameras on all the time. Like you said youtube makes everyone seem perfect, No one is and it really is sad fans think that.
THIS!^^^ I agree 100% Turn off the public window into your lives and take time to heal and knit your marriage and re-strengthen yourselves.
Unfortunately this is their job, if they don't work they get no income!
TinaBallina Maybe it’s time to go look for jobs outside of youtube. There is no way they can heal their relationship with cameras running all the time.
This past Thursday my 17 yr old cousin took her own life. She was a senior in high school, top 10 in her class, and ready to serve God. My Family is beyond heartbroken she had just started therapy and getting help. She did everything in her will to help others and she was so outspoken and strong willed. She did everything she set her mind to. Today we laid her to rest and the amount of love and support shown by our Family, Friends, her Friends, Teacher and community was so over whelming and amazing. But I urge you to seek help if you need it. Someone wants to listen and someone does care. It’s okay to admit you are not okay.
adri cavazos Iam so sorry. It's hard to lose someone when it makes no sense. Stay strong in your faith
I am so very sorry for your loss.....praying that you and your family know comfort and strength at this time.....I lost my best friend in the summer, I know how painful grief can be 😓 Sending much love, many hugs and prayers 🙏🏻💕
adri cavazos i
I’m so sorry. Praying for comfort for you and your family’
So about that Jesus is with you every step of the way!
Thank you for being brave enough to make this video. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, but I admire you both so much for sitting down and talking openly about depression and what you’re going through. You have an army of friends and family and FANS who are rooting you on. ❤️
Words to describe you both... Brave, Strong, Faithful, Compassionate, Loving, Amazing, Honest, REAL, Relatable, Humble, Graceful.... seriously could go on and on about the GOOD things about you both. I don’t know the details of the situation and neither does anyone else, nor should anyone, marriage is intimate and some things like Katie said need to stay between the two of you. BUT although I don’t know the details, I can tell that no matter the issues you guys CAN get through this! I pray you both hold tight to your faith and constantly remind yourselves why you love each other! I pray your relationship comes out stronger after this valley.... God can use the ugliest times of our lives and make something beautiful! Thank you all for being to authentic, you two are very special people! You have no idea how many people you are probably helping by making these videos! Thank you, and may God bless you both!
I understand this alot...with the depression everyone used to ask me why you depressed, there has to be a reason....but most of the time there wasn't a reason everything was right and great but I was depressed
Y'all are great, hope youll heal during this time, and hope the depression will loosen it's grip.
Angel Mae Yes! And it's especially hard when you hear this and you start to beat yourself up because you ask yourself the same thing.
Simply RaeAnn agreed... alot of people end up beating themselves over it when it's something they for the most part cant control without some sort of help whether that be talking to someone or medication. I know it's very hard to open up about depression cuz negativity can make it worse.
Angel Mae i
Angel Mae Ive had this to, it wasnt very bad or something, I kept going with things like school, but on the inside I felt soooo.... sad/depressed, most beacus I didn't feel good with myself, I wasn't happy with how I look and am. Than I found something I like to do, actually 2: I started playing guitar and I started doing more fun things with my friends. I feel better now, I still sometimes feel like that, but than I have something to get over it, I just think about coming home and do things I love, and I realized that other things don't mather.
Sometimes self harm and suicidal thoughts aren't what you think.. some people get to the point of not caring when they're in the car to wear their seat belt and don't care if something happens.. and it's terrifying when you're in the grips of that mental monster. Cullen, I'm so happy you're getting the help you need and the help Katie and the kids deserve. Praying for you guys.
Jenna Filbert Agreed! I'm currently getting help for PPD and PPA and looking back it got to a point where I would spend entire car trips trying to figure out if there was a way I could drive into oncoming traffic and my children be ok but me be gone. I would have sworn up and down that I wasn't suicidal but it would start as a thought and I would mindlessly hop on that thought train and over time it turned into almost a subconscious desire that would be forgotten the moment I got out of the vehicle
I honestly don't know what to say about this video because we see you guy's all happy and prefect but then you go off camera we have no idea what's going on then to see this video it is sad to see you guys struggling with depression and your relationship so I hope you guys can figure things out and I hope you know that we love and care about you guys.
The scariest thing for me was wondering will I ever be me again?!?!? Cullen I am me again and I am happy, now I have good days and bad but not because of depression, just real life. Praying for y'all. Just remember this is your testimony this is what you can use to help someone else. Reach out to Jesus he is there.
Racheal Lewis i needed to read your comment. Gave me hope. Please keep me in your prayers...
Yes!! I changed my diet and it was night and day. I’m finally me again after a year of rage and drowning in every aspect of my life. It will happen.
I came across this video through suggested videos of other family vloggers that I’ve been watching on and off lately. I used to follow you guys three years ago, when I was with my ex. My depression was so bad that I almost failed out of college, I could barely work at my amazing job, and my relationship was garbage. But your videos, along with Ellie and Jared, gave me an out. In the way that when I was feeling hopeless about life, I would watch your videos and feel okay about where I was. You guys gave me hope for my future. Cullen, please know that your dedication to showing the internet your life is what helped pull me out of my depression years ago. I still love you guys. You have an amazing support in Katie and you will learn how to be yourself with this.
Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain so you are right, you can have everything and still be depressed. Prayers for you all 💖
Bailee clemmer a chemical imbalance is only one form of depression.
Cullen I am sorry you are going through this now. The book of Psalms helped me in my darkest hour. David had a lot of bad things going on around him yet his prayers to God we’re beautiful and comforting to all of us that “go through the valley of the shadow of death”. I am praying for you.
My husband and I have been really struggling with this lately for the past few weeks, and I really needed this. Thank you for showing this vulnerable side of your lives. Sincerely wish nothing but the best for you both and your sweet family.
Y'all need to work on spending more time as a couple. Kids especially toddlers take a huge toll on a marriage. My husband and I have had 2 stillborns and we have 5 living kids. I've also had a major surgery. Marriages go through ups and downs and we have been where y'all are now. Katie forgiveness is the hardest to do but it is totally worth it. Hugs to both of you. Forget the haters. Y'all have a lot of fans praying for you ;)
We love you guys. 💓 Cullen crying had me tearing up. Praying for you both. 🙏
Me too.
Me fourth
Kelly Reed I cryed too
Wade wade wade wade wade wade wade wade wade wade wade wade wade wade wade wade wade wade
Britt Hart what does wade wade wade mean
I was crying at your montage at the end. We are so lucky that you have decided to share your lives with us. We have missed you but take all the time you need xxxx
"One second, one minute, one hour, one day at a time"
Stephanie Hastings best advice there is ❤
Oh, my gosh! Thank you for you honesty. I think there are a few other CZcamsrs should make this realization and face the truth. Many women have done it, but never men.
I was dealing with the same problem in my marriage but the way we turned that around is by changing our lifestyle sometimes doing the same thing everyday can be tired some so we decided to start living a more healthier life style. We went on walks we starting making healthier meals together and exercising helped a lot. We started to push each other and just that made us grow stronger. Exercise helps so much with depression because your body needs that energy to feel better.
I have been watching you guys since before Gaines was born and I am so proud to see how far you guys have come!! You’re an amazing family!! You are very brave for being able to open yourself up to everyone about such a personal subject!! What passage were you guys before the video? Love you guys so much and just stay strong!!❤️
Have you thought about having hormone levels checked? I went through something similar to this and I had a severe deficiency in vitamin D as well as other things that could mimic depression. Keep up the forward movement you will make it through.
Nikita Embree I was going to comment the same thing. Getting hormones and vitamin/mineral levels checked, when dealing with depression, should be the first step.
I agree, having dealt with thyroid disease, they symptoms can also cause and/or mimic depression
Taking Vitamin D supplements totally surprised me, made me feel so much better physically and mentally. Good idea to get a good physical exam and blood work if you haven't already.
Maybe he actually has depression?
Nikita Embree yes vitamin d is something to get checked if you're feeling depressed! My aunt was put on some vitamins and she is feeling 10x better!
I feel like y’all are the parents I never had. Thank you for simply speaking about this. You’re more appreciated than you’ll ever know. 💜
You should do research on food to eat to fight depression, food intake is a big part of depression. Also doing outdoor activities & getting fit helps sooo much.
Been watching y'all since before you were pregnant with Gaines, and I had just had my baby girl a few months before you had Gaines. I also had a baby boy about a month before you had Brooks, so it feels like I'm seeing an alternate reality of my life, haha (also, I'm originally from Vestavia - now living in FL).
I relate to this video so much. I had severe PPD the entire first year of my son's life, and it put a huge strain on my and my husband's relationship. I'm finally starting to come out of that darkness, and my husband and I are working on a lot of the same things you guys are.
Rooting for y'all. Take time off if you need it. We will always wait!
First time watcher! Forever subscriber! I too suffered in the past with depression and anxiety. What non-sufferers don’t comprehend is that this is a sickness just like cancer or high blood pressure or diabetes. As a Christian it’s awesome that you have such a huge platform to reach others going through this very thing. In my personal opinion I feel that God may “allow” this journey in your life because of your obedience and willingness to share such a private part of your life. Praying for nothing but good for you both here on out.
Praying so hard for you guys! We know first hand what you are both dealing with. It's so hard, and a lot of people don't understand. Thank you for talking openly about this though because a lot of people don't.
Anxiety is a very lonely feeling because you don’t feel safe en secure in your own mind and body and you can n’t run away of it. I know so too.
Believe me, time will come that you see the light again and feel the colors and peace as well again.
Be patience and be kind to yourself.
You two are the best! 💞😚
Love you guys. Depression knows no situation, age, gender, race...can happen to anyone. Sending lots of love.
Keep seeking Christ in your marriage. Love y’all 😘
Is it me or does Cullen look like he’s lost weight?
Wendy Reyes I thought the same thing
Depression does make you lose weight a lot of the time. You don’t want to eat. You have no motivation. It’s just terrible!
Yes for sure, too much stress and depression will do that to you.
I have noticed it for months that he has.
Yes / I noticed that right away / some meds will do that to you as well.
This vlog was a brave thing to do. It shows you care. It shows commitment. It shows character. It shows humility. It shows strength. It shows love. It shows honesty. These are all great elements you have going for you. God bless.
Depression is a medical condition and has nothing to do with what you have or don't have the whole family has been through so much pain
tie a knot and hang on, give it all to Jesus spend more time in the Bible, you will notice a huge sense of inner peace
I have suffered with depression and anxiety over the last 14 years . I’m at a place now where most days are great but there are still days where it hits me. It’s okay to be okay. It’s okay to feel those feelings . This being said keep talking, keep loving,keep holding on to those you love .
Sending you all an extra hug today . If you don’t need it today put it in your pocket for a day that you do ❤️
Did they match they chlothes with the room on purpose or..?? (Sorry just the first thing I noticed) ps stay strong you both!!
Just A Person I noticed that too!
It seems to work for Ellie and Jared on two days behind it will work for you to. Please know when I was fighting depression I started to watch Ellie and Jared that how I met you guys I couldn't stop watching you guys because you guys bright light to my life. If it wasn't for Ellie and Jared and you guys I Probaly wouldn't got through it lot easier. I want to thank your family for being who you are. I be praying for you guys and love you guys keep your chin up
hello. i’m not a regular watcher but i’ve seen a few videos of yours and stumbled upon this. you all probably won’t read this but i just wanted to share my story. i’ve battled depression for the past two years. the most difficult part is the feeling of i have nothing to be upset about or maybe i’m just sad. it’s fluctuated some months weeks even days good others horrible days where i didn’t get out of bed and had horrifying thoughts. right now i’m good but i’m so scared that this won’t last. things are hard for me right now and i’m worried i might crumble soon. seeing this i realized that getting help isn’t a sign of weakness. it means your strong. i will be telling my friend tonight and trying to get up the courage to get help. so thank you for sharing. the impact of it is probably more than your realize. thank you
You guys are great. You need time, take time. Those who watch and love your videos will be here. Being humans is hard enough, being parents is hard enough without adding in being entertainers which is essentially what y'all are. To have to perform and make videos every day is taxing on the soul and the family. Thoughts and prayers with you.
Cullen and Katie, I used to be a subscriber, I unsubscribed like a year ago, I’m going to be really honest to, I was a fan from day one, back to the time when tu guys got the u haul stuck on that hill in front of your first apartment, but the vlogs started to be almost like staged, fake I couldn’t relate anymore, this goes for 2 other channels that are close friends to tu guys, but after seeing this is like a reunion with my old friends, I’m going to my own struggles with 4 kids 1 stepson and my husband, it’s hard and listening to you guys it’s so reassuring, don’t give up, tu guys give me hope 🙏🏼 I just subscribed again glad to have you back guys love you
I think one of the things people don't realise is the thoughts you have is a whole different you, it's the depression making you feel and believe certain things and that's what leads you to hurting yourself and things, but whenever the cloud lifts for a little while you're a whole other person, you can be shocked or embarrassed ect that you've hurt yourself but in the moment you can't control those thoughts
I love you guys ❤️
I have social anxiety disorder and have suffered with depression for years so I completely understand and I agree that people use these terms far too lossely, I've seen so many people say things like 'this gives me so much anxiety' because they're a bit nervous or anxious about a situation but thats completely different to actually having an anxiety disorder. I'm so glad you guys can open up about this❤️
as someone who also suffers from depression and anxiety, i totally understand the state of mind and the different medications and then feeling like they aren't doing what you want it to be doing. the worst part about depression is being aware of it but you can't make your brain respond the way you want it to. the whole thing is hard , probably the hardest thing you'll ever deal with in life. but we can get through this , even if it takes a while. do what you need to do to get better we all love you guys and just want yall to be happy and healthy!!
Cullen I am going through the same thing currently. Have been depressed for 4 years but didn't know, just finally realizing what was going on. It's extremely overwhelming to be able to feel things again, it's scary. I am so proud of how you are handling this especially in the public eye.
Good luck on your journey
Thank you for sharing something so personal! 💕 I am also dealing with depression and having panic attack’s, for the last 4 yrs. It’s not easy dealing with it, and everyday is a struggle. Pls continue to be there for each other no matter what the outcome is with your relationship, always be there for each other 💕🙏🏻
Depression and sadness almost destroyed our 30 year marriage. The deaths of our daughter, my parents and my only sibling all within 5 years and leaving me the sole survivor of both sides of my family, losing our horses, and many other things, combined with my chronic pain and illnesses have all but shut us down. We are also raising our 2 grandsons 3 years into retirement. It’s a lot to deal with. We will never be who we used to be and are pretty much lost in our own little worlds. We are not whole people anymore. Maybe we will never be. Nobody said life is easy, but in my wildest nightmares I never imagined my life would take the turns that it has. I understand all to well about pushing your emotions under the rug. Mine are buried so deep that I can’t even cry. Our daughter and my family live in urns on the fireplace mantle, and come to me in my dreams EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. They have for years now. Strange, dark repetitive dreams that leave me sweating and disturbed when I wake up. I know they have moved on, and it’s my suppressed grief that is causing the dreams. But knowing why something IS does not automatically make it easy to accept.
For years afterwards, we took every bit of our pain out on each other because nobody else was there. Our fighting reached levels that were downright shocking. It’s like we were strangers to each other. And like you said, we lost all of our ability to care and divorce seemed like a blessing instead of a curse.
Don’t let anyone tell you that antidepressant medication is unnecessary and that your doctor only prescribed them because he/she is in collusion with “big Pharma.” I hate that stupid term. Medication has been overused but it has also saved MANY LIVES. Nobody has any right to judge anyone else. The good thing is that you two recognized that you need help and got it. It’s been 9, 8, 6 and 5 years since my family and daughter died and I am no closer to grieving normally that I was 8 years ago. It’s like time has stood still.
My husband and I sleep in a split King bed next to each other. We are rarely affectionate anymore, and we are both ok with that at this point in the game. Our 3 Chihuahuas aka the bedbugs sleep with us. All my affection goes to my grandsons, and all my husband’s goes to his favorite dog 🐕. But at this point our relationship is about the needs of the many and not the needs of one particular person.
So here we sit. We are still together 33 years into it. We are both on medication and it does help. We are learning to be more polite and respectful of each other’s feelings. He is working on going back to work. We both are working on getting out of bed and back into the game of life, even if that life is far different than it used to be. We must accept that the way we are now is the “new normal”. Life is like that. The great Wheel of Life has its seasons, and like the Earth herself we mere mortals must weather our own storms. If we can learn to bend even a little; to “give” during our neediest times instead of taking...then when the truly hard winds hit, we stand a lot less chance of breaking. Peace, AM
I have PPD too and it's so hard. It's so so hard. Thank you for this video, and for saying out loud the things that people who are struggling are so scared to say.
Thank you for being so open about what you’ve been dealing with. Several close people to me suffer with depression, but your description of it helps me understand what their going through better. I appreciate that. This will help countless others who are going or will go through similar experiences. You will be made stronger than ever for fighting for what is right than giving up. God bless you!
I had no intention to watch this full video, but I did, and it was amazing. You guys nailed the feelings of depression right on the head. I personally have never had anyone explain it as well as you guys did. Thank you. ❤️ My pastor just preached a sermon on Sunday night. He said something that has been stuck in my mind that I want to share with you both. He said that instead of praying for behavior modification, we need to pray for God to change our hearts. Because only God can change hearts. I don’t know if that is helpful at all but I wanted to share. God bless!
One of the hardest things about depression is explaining it to someone that hasn't gone through it.
Thank you for making this video. You guys explained it so well.
Rebecca Jo-Ann So very true! Trying to explain it to someone whose never been there is like talking to a brick wall...they don't get it or they act like you are speaking a diff language...
I realize this is several months old. I totally understand where you are coming from. I have dealt with PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder and Panic Disorder. Unfortunately most people don't understand unless they've been there. I have one book I have read over and over, it's very helpful, written by a pastor that said when he was studying for the ministry there was nothing that taught them how to deal with people depression. Written by David Seamands, "Healing For. Damaged Emotions". I'm 61, I've dealt with depression since 16, my parents didn't accept the diagnosis. At 29 I crashed. I crashed 3 times because I only got help from Family Practice Docs. Finally I checked myself into a place for 2 weeks. Learned about my disease, medication, coping skills, and sometimes you just need someone to listen, no judgement... if you ever need a friend... I've been where you are. My only advise is get a doctor that specializes in mental disorders, get counceling, and at some point time yourself... I put myself in time out... I tell my family or whoever I need 30 minutes, and I go to a room alone, and literally talk to myself... I ask myself "why did this upset you so much" talk it out... then go back to that person more times than not, it's me... I figure out my trigger and can explain to the other person what just happenen, what triggered me. As far as the marriage I found 2 books, "Love Is A Decision", "The Marriage You've Always Wanted".... these books are written one by the father one by the son, Last nsme Smalley. They also have ministry camps. My husband and I would read 30 minutes before going to sleep. He would read outloud... we'd talk about it, so very helpful. You will both be in my prayers.
I think without this video I’d never know what’s depression or that I’ve kinda suffer from it at some point in my life ( the time it was uploaded)
Thank you and best wishes 🌷
Cullen when u broke down I also broke down crying, during the months of Feb. March April and May I have lost in order my mother both of my brothers and my sister they all tragically passed away, feeling so alone all the time really sucks, I have been dealing with PTSD and depression for years! So hang in there my friends!
Melissa Tomei I am soo sorry for your loss...i too suffer from ptsd,anxiety and depression,I lost my dad almost 3 yrs ago
Wait how 😔 I’m so incredibly sorry for your losses
I will be praying for you. You’re never alone. 💜
We recently lost my father in law and my husbands Aunt in just 2 months apart. It is so hard to lose a parent.
Well let's see I lost my older brother at the age of 22 by suicide, I was 16 yrs old when I found him hanging in his closet, then my other brother was 41 when he was hit on his Harley by a drunk driver,, my sister died in my arms at the age of 39, she code blued 3 times on me so finally I said no more let her go, she died from chronic alcoholism. Then my mom passed 2 years ago it will be the 11 the of Feb. She had congestive heart failure and had cancer then she had a stroke and she passed about a month later. So other personal things have happened when I was way younger. Thank u for commenting!💟
Melissa Tomei oh my gosh I am so sorry that had to of Been so hard if I could give you a hug I would😪
I’ve been watching you all since the very beginning and now I’m 21 and married to my child hood friend. It hasn’t always been easy but we look at every new day as a learning opportunity to learn how to love each other and ourselves the way we deserve and how to love our relationship the way it deserves even when that means putting what seems like something else that is important on the back burner. We stumble and we argue and some times it’s an all out fight but when we cool off we make the decision to stay and to build and to work hard at what we have because it is a blessing that some people go their whole time on earth never experiencing the feeling we have for each other. That stupid love is a gift and it’s hard to see through the clouds of depression and the busy life and stress we put on ourselves daily. But you all are worth it. I have a quote that I hope helps you all as much as it does us we even put it in our vows “At the heart of every true connection is vulnerability.. the willingness to simply be your broken self,rather than an improved facade of the truth.The boldness to be imperfect without apology “ this is Love. We are all broken and bent and bruised but lean on your partner show them how to heal parts of themselves and they’ll show you in return. Some parts only god can heal and some bruises will just move to a different spot because we are human and we are not perfect or indestructible. Thank you all so much for sharing.
This is so long sorry guys! Just a lot of love for this little family @Cullen&Katie 💜 with much love from the Simpson family in ky
My mother took her own life a few years ago and I have battled postpartum depression. Mental health is my sore point, my fight, and my passion. Prayers for you guys and thank you for shedding a light on mental health and I pray your light gets brighter.
You guys are amazing. Thank you for being so raw and real. There is such a sigma on depression that no one wants to talk about, and y'all getting this out there is going to help so many people! Praying for you both!
People seem to think that just by looking that they can tell if someone should or shouldn't be depressed. That is not the case because no one but that person knows what they have / are going through. The main thing is for you two as a couple to work together to be the healthiest possible. For you both to get the help that you need and work on things to the best of your abilities. I'm very glad and proud of you both that you have the strength to share this with us. Keep at it and know that your supported and your family loves you. I can see that you have a wonderful lady at your side who is very supportive. Praying for complete healing for you as I know that depression is a very deep hard struggle. I deal with bipolar on a daily basis along with other mental health issues. Its hard people think that because you can't see it that its not a true illness. You two are strong brave people and keep working at it. Don't beat yourself up if you slide back a little. Sometimes you seem to be taking steps forward and something seems to make it as though your backwards a ways. But don't fear you will still move forward its a roller coaster. Don't beat yourself up that makes it worse in my opinion.
I’ve battled with depression for as long as I can remember and I’ve always felt like people never understood that I can’t “just be happy”. It’s extremely therapeutic for me to see this and realize that you really don’t know what’s going on in other people’s lives and people that you think have everything can be struggling the same way I do. ❤️
Thanks for breaking the silence ... mental illness is so common. I suffered from PPD-anxiety and it took a toll on our marriage. Quickly following, my husband was diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety. All too common and HARD to live through. Xoxox
“We’re gonna try not to make this video too long...” 😂
You guys are so open and I cannot imagine how hard that is, but so many people need to hear that they are not alone in these struggles, because EVERYONE goes through this. Literally every single marriage has these times. You all are in my prayers. Put yourselves first right now. Love ya’ll so much. 💕💕
Support and good counseling is a must! I have depression and it is a hard road. Take all the time you need.
I absolutely hate seeing you guys in pain. You are in my prayers, God bless you and your family. You got this. I love you guys.
We dont expect yall to be perfect. We dont expect yall to have the perfect relationship, be the perfect parents. One day at a time. Do what works for you and your family. Breaks are needed. Just take care of yourselves. Depression is real.
My husband and I have been married 16 year next month. My husband has had depression and anxiety for most (of his life too) our married life, it has been our story. We’ve made some hard decisions and we got help about 4 years ago. It was the best decision we made. Through help with friends, family and our church family we were able to be supported and God did some amazing things through that time, even though it was one of the hardest most difficult times in our lives. Please know Our family is praying for you! God will never leave or forsake you. One of my precious verses that carry me even during this time, is 2 When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you. Isaiah 43:2
My mother suffered from chronic depression all her life. She finally got on some meds that really helped her but I was already an adult by then. Growing up I really didn't understand. I couldn't figure out why she didn't just snap out of it, did she want to be that way? But then as an adult I spent more time with her and we were able to talk to each other as adults. I came to realize she really couldn't control it. She couldn't just snap out of it. And that realization just made me love her even more. I think it's wonderful that you are talking about this. More men need to stand up and talk about and support each other. Know that we love you and we are here to support you!
(30 Min mark comment) Seeing traits or patterns in yourself that you recognize in your own parent(s) doesn't mean it's who YOU are. Because you can identify the things you do not like, you can change your actions and reactions with the family God has blessed you with and do things differently. You are not the sum of the negative things of your father. Remember that. I know that me as a viewer watching your vlogs only gives a very tiny glimpse into your lives but, your children are not old enough to know how to "play a part" when the camera is rolling and the way they interact lovingly with you in such a natural way is very telling to the viewers that you are a great and loving father and that you are a great and loving mother. You do not have to be a product of your childhood environment if you don't want to be. Let II Corinthians 5:17 become engrained onto your hearts. I am cheering you guys on and praying you finish life's race in the best Hebrews 12:1 possible. (You guys don't even have to run if you don't have the strength, you can hobble along at a bare minimum crawl and that is good enough. *HUG!!
I read a thing a while ago that said “ depression doesn’t care about your status in life” or something like that so basically, you can be super rich and have everything you could ever want, but you can still have depression. Mental illnesses don’t discriminate. I’m so glad you came out with it because I have depression and anxiety and it’s very hard to have alone.
You guys are so real ❤️ and I appreciate your honesty. My husband and I both suffered from post pardon depression and we fought all the time. We are working through it, and it is one of the hardest things! I appreciate you opening up the door for this conversation and helping others! I truly believe this is going to help someone else.
Wow the part where Katie said when she had post partum depression and she felt like she would never be normal again...That really REALLY hit home for me. I suffer regularly from depression and anxiety. but i had pretty bad post partum depression after giving birth to my daughter a year ago. It was one of the most scariest things for me because I just did not feel myself. Seeing you guys be so real and emotional makes me feel so much more human. 💗 Thank y’all for being fearless in sharing your journey. It’s what I needed today.