My best advice is the first semester, just take one class to find out how your energy lasts, not just your physical energy but your mental and emotional gas tanks. And don't take the hardest class. Take an easier one... you goal is to access how you physically endure, as well as fulfil your coursework. This gives you the freedom from time crunches and to find the Disabled Student Center, the library, student health sevices, etc. and to figure out the whole routine of how to study again. You don't need a full course load when you're trying to figure out how you fit in this new world of academia. 💕🌞🌵😷
I too, only need a cane as I get tired. Having it also conquers my fear of: what if I don't make it back? My best advice is to get a walking cane that folds up and can be put in your bag. (Similar to a blind person's cane but heavy duty.) I found having a cane in my hand made me use it and I was becoming more & more dependent on it. (My doctor mentioned it too me.) Because the folding cane is in my bag, I don't pull it out until I need it... Which keeps me stronger than when I was using it all the time. When I go to the zoo or the botanical gardens, I take my walker. It has a basket to hold my purse and my lunch (sometimes I need to eat now, not when I get to the snack bar.) It also has a seat so I can always have a place sit down. Yes, the zoo has benches, but it could be 100 yards away. Yes, I could push myself, having my own seat whist standing in line at the snack bar. But a walker would also help carry your books to and from class. I have a cane that has a fold down seat. It's great for waiting at the post office at Christmas time or waiting for my luggage at the airport or the car rental line. You can sit and move you seat as the line progresses. These are all forms of accommodation that you should also consider. Ask your doctor for a prescription and your insurance will more than likely pay for it. 💕🌞🌵😷
I mentioned this as a reply below but thought I'd mention it again. For me, community college was just easier than going to university. It seemed to me the professors were more accommodating. So, I went two years at community college, received my Associates degree (I think it was only one more class). Then transferred to university as a junior. I was the first in my family to go to college, so I had to navigate on my own. Even though my goal was a Bachelor, I wanted an associate's to show for something in case I didn't complete my bachelor's... Now, I have both degrees after my name. I just thought Associates degree would look better on a resumé than two years college courses. I've heard sooo many horror stories of classes not being transferrable, that after the first semester, I contact my university course counseloring center to make sure all my classes were transferable. I think it cost $25 for the application fee, but well worth the peace of mind. It was pretty seamless (I think because both schools are in the same metro area.) 💕🌞🌵😷
I wish there could be universities with kind teachers only and where all bullies and ableists will be forced to drop out because it is what they deserve. Thank you for the video❤
I graduated about a year ago, and this video is WONDERFUL. I learned all these things the hard way. My university would send out accommodations letters to the professors automatically. I would meet with my professors at the end of my class to put a name to the email. I was super lucky to have very accommodating professors and small classes. My friend had accessibility issues in a huge class of 500 students. Putting assignments in your calendar is SO important. It makes it so much easier to schedule doctor appointments and get ahead if you need to. Getting into campus health services is also great, but I got referred out to regular non-campus doctors very quickly due to funding issues. So it may be worthwhile to get into a regular primary doctor- ask your campus services how much you can actually get from them. I didn’t have a primary care set up, and when my health blew up, it was a disaster trying to get help.
I know this is somewhat unrelated 🤔 but can you possibly make a video about giving up on yourself and how to get back up from that? It’s like I’ve lost all confidence in myself and don’t want to do anything but give up on myself. I’m really grateful for the videos of yours I have seen and they are really helpful, so thank you so much for that and trying to help people!! If you have made a video like this, can you point me in the right direction?
Sympathize with you and empathize with you, I have Depression…. Which is awful. Don’t be hard on yourself. My grandfather’s nickname was Grumpy……my mom’s was…..Miz…. don’t laugh it was for misery…………. I had to raise my son after my divorce. (He had to go find himself. ) then my son was in college …….. so I called the doctor I used to work for he knew me about nine years…… I told him…..** what’s the use?** Since he knew me gave me a prescription for paroxetine ……. for depression and it worked very quickly. Everything was great for about 15 years until it started to wear off, but that’s my advice to you. Try this try that……l some thing that’s not mentioned often is to simplify……. Simplify by everything at once order online, Amazon comes in less than a day sometimes …… do your banking online I needed help…… sit outside on the grass if you can get to a body of water and some grass and some sand, put your toes in the sand you need to get back to basics…..❤❤
For me, turning to God was the most beneficial. Knowing that he gave me strength (and the other stuff, like patience), all I had to do was accept it. I don't have to ask for it, it's already given. All I had to do is accepted the fact that he was healing me every day and it was up to me to fight my way back to "normal". Is it easy? No! Is it fast? No! But every day, I walk a little further. Every day I'm able to do a little more self care. And if I miss a day, I know that's the day he's carrying me. All I have to do is thank Him for all of his gifts. Do I still have bad days? Yes! But tomorrow is a fresh start and I can do it, because I'll have a fresh gas tank. Jordan Peterson says if you are so low, start with making your bed every day. By making your bed, you'll start to tidy your room and by taking care of your room, you'll gain confidence to move to do some thing bigger. The other thing that has helped me is getting a better night's sleep. Close the door if lights shine from the other room. Wear ear plugs, or keep a heating pad in your bed for that last hour, when your room is too cold, etc. Hope this helps. I know you can do it or you wouldn't have commented. Baby steps. Sending lots of love 💖 from sunny 🌞 Arizona 🌵. Take care of yourself and each other 😷
My dad got accomodation from the motor vehicles department after he had a stroke. He couldn't make sense of the written word, so they had someone read him the questions and write down the answers. He lived in the community like 30 years. He passed the driving test, no problem and he probably could understand one or 2 word street signs, but he told me he found his way by landmarks. Like: turn left when you get to the barber shop (striped barber pole) to get to the post office. So the state of California issued him a regular driver's license. The same can happen in school. So don't dismay, seek out accommodations that you are entitled to. There are lots of non-profit legal agencies out there to assist you if you need help. (I know, I had a leasing company turn me down because I had a service dog.) 💕🌞🌵😷
Before starting school, find a place that you can study for a couple of hours. You'll be surprised how hard it is too read a hardback book and take notes or do math problems laying flat in bed. For me, I can't sit straight up or lean forward for very long. So, I had to trade my desktop for a laptop. And trade my desk for bed tray. Things you used to do might be a struggle now. 💕🌞🌵😷
Damn this popped up right when I got my Veterans vocational rehabilitation application approved 😅. Also, I'm interested in how to make professors adhere to your disability plan. I had a huge problem with past professors blowing off my disability plan that included testing accommodations.
First, most professors have so many students that they don't remember who has special needs and who doesn't. Go to their office hours and discuss your test taking needs and be proactive in making a plan and by reminding them every test, if needed. My community college had a testing center where you would test prerequisites, but professors could also leave tests and the testing center's staff would proctor you. Next, my college had a VA center, where vets could get assistance. I don't know much about it, but I tutored a couple of vets that got tutoring money from the VA to hire me from the colleges tutoring center's referral. And then there's always disabled student services for assistance. Getting these offices to back you up, gives you more power to get your accommodations. If your testing time is the same as everyone else, check the professor's other class (they often teach more than one of the same class) and see if you can take your test in his other class. Lastly, it's been my experience that community college professors are easier to work with than university professors. 💕🌞🌵😷
This is coming from a tutor who often works with disabled students: Start an email trail and keep it up throughout the semester. Get with Accessibility Services as close to the start of the semester as possible. They should email all of your professors a copy of your accommodations paperwork. If a professor starts blowing it off, you can remind them via email and send them another copy of your accommodations as needed. If they still ignore it, you can report them to Accessibility Services. If AS is the one that drops the ball, then go up the chain of command if needed. But the best thing to do is keep emailing so you have a trail of evidence that you've been having an issue that needs to be resolved. It also helps if you can have someone in your corner such as a tutor or Student Success coach. Tutors may not be allowed to intervene directly on the student's behalf, but they can help you get in touch with the right people when necessary. I would also look into whether your school has a Student Success or some other type of liaison program that helps communicate with professors and/or Accessibility Services on your behalf. Whatever you do, don't give up! You're worth it and so is your education! Good luck! 💖
Hey Cassie, thank you so much for this video. This is only tangentially related, but would you have advice for reducing the amount of energy a shower takes and/or accommodating the energy impact of showers for the rest of the day? Unfortunately, with my hair type, every shower is an “everything” shower, lasting around an hour each time, and by the time I get out and get myself sorted, I am drained for at least the next few hours, which, showering once every other day, makes it so that only half of my week do I have the energy/time alignment to do what I want to do.
One thing I'll suggest is to get a shower stool, so you can sit down for most of the time. The other suggestion is re-evaluate if you really need a full body wash every time. Maybe you could do a quicky or skip arms & legs and concentrate on the stinky bits every time. 💖🌞🌵😷
This is a struggle for me too, so I have some tips! I have long wavy/curly hair that takes a lot of maintenance, so I'm not sure if that's the same as your hair type, since other hair types can take a lot of maintenance but also can be tended with weekly wash days. (Unfortunately for me, I need to wash my hair/scalp more regularly because of skin stuff.) - Are there protective or low-manipulation hairstyles that work with your hair type? Since I'm not certain of your hair type, the exact protective style will vary; for white folks like me, three-strand braids done in a semi-loose manner and some buns are protective (think milkmaid braids, loose buns). But for tighter curls (like type 4 hair), tighter braids are more common. Scarves can be really helpful too. A protective hairstyle is anything that keeps the hair off the body and has the ends tucked in without too much strain on the hair and scalp, but low-manipulation styles like a braid or half-up hair can be helpful too. Protective hairstyles can help with lowering maintenance of your hair, since loose hair is more likely to get damaged (friction, sun, temperature, and moisture can break the hair cuticle), collect dirt, and be handled with your hands (which adds extra oils). - Is showering at the end of the day reasonable? Since I started showering at the end of the day, a few hours before bed, I've been able to shower more consistently. I work from home, but even during school, I often showered the night before. Showers do not energize me, so I avoid having them during the day unless I'm dirty from being in the garden or exercising and the need to be clean is enough motivation to have a quick wash. I also worked a job where I needed to shower after my shift because I was so filthy and sweaty from work, but I know a lot of jobs (like corporate/office positions) have an expectation for being clean before showing up. - Some showers, I just rinse my hair or put it up to avoid it getting super wet (I don't like shower caps) and focus on washing my skin. - On my lowest energy days, I do what I call a "bird bath" where I take a wash cloth and wipe my skin at the sink with just water. - I have a handheld, battery-powered facial cleanser brush to do my face when I don't feel capable of using my hands to do the wiping and washing at the sink. This is really useful for me in the morning or evening if I want a clean face but don't want to deal with the sensory issues of water all over the place. - Some disabled folks use baby wipes as a way to freshen up, but these have never worked well for me because of sensory issues; however, it might be an option for you! - Are there parts of the shower routine that can be reduced to once or twice a week? I like to shave my body hair, but it takes too much energy to do as often as I like, so I choose days where I have the time to do it. I also like to exfoliate with a pumice stone, but this takes a while, so I do it only when I have the time and not in combination with shaving. - What are non-negotiable hygiene tasks? For me, they are: washing the places where sweat collects (armpits, chest, groin), tending to sensory issue areas (feet, since I hate having dirty feet, and face, since I pick at my skin and do it less when my face is clean), and having a clean scalp. This means that some days my shower really is only washing my face, sweaty areas, feet, and scalp. I'll do leave-in conditioner after the shower, which is a set-and-forget task for me, but sometimes I don't do that and just remind myself that my hair will be okay.
I second the shower chair idea! I wish I had gotten one a lot sooner. I also use a folding chair that I keep behind the door to sit in when I dry my hair
My best advice is the first semester, just take one class to find out how your energy lasts, not just your physical energy but your mental and emotional gas tanks.
And don't take the hardest class. Take an easier one... you goal is to access how you physically endure, as well as fulfil your coursework.
This gives you the freedom from time crunches and to find the Disabled Student Center, the library, student health sevices, etc. and to figure out the whole routine of how to study again. You don't need a full course load when you're trying to figure out how you fit in this new world of academia. 💕🌞🌵😷
I too, only need a cane as I get tired. Having it also conquers my fear of: what if I don't make it back?
My best advice is to get a walking cane that folds up and can be put in your bag. (Similar to a blind person's cane but heavy duty.) I found having a cane in my hand made me use it and I was becoming more & more dependent on it. (My doctor mentioned it too me.) Because the folding cane is in my bag, I don't pull it out until I need it... Which keeps me stronger than when I was using it all the time.
When I go to the zoo or the botanical gardens, I take my walker. It has a basket to hold my purse and my lunch (sometimes I need to eat now, not when I get to the snack bar.) It also has a seat so I can always have a place sit down. Yes, the zoo has benches, but it could be 100 yards away. Yes, I could push myself, having my own seat whist standing in line at the snack bar. But a walker would also help carry your books to and from class.
I have a cane that has a fold down seat. It's great for waiting at the post office at Christmas time or waiting for my luggage at the airport or the car rental line. You can sit and move you seat as the line progresses.
These are all forms of accommodation that you should also consider. Ask your doctor for a prescription and your insurance will more than likely pay for it. 💕🌞🌵😷
I mentioned this as a reply below but thought I'd mention it again. For me, community college was just easier than going to university. It seemed to me the professors were more accommodating.
So, I went two years at community college, received my Associates degree (I think it was only one more class). Then transferred to university as a junior. I was the first in my family to go to college, so I had to navigate on my own. Even though my goal was a Bachelor, I wanted an associate's to show for something in case I didn't complete my bachelor's... Now, I have both degrees after my name. I just thought Associates degree would look better on a resumé than two years college courses.
I've heard sooo many horror stories of classes not being transferrable, that after the first semester, I contact my university course counseloring center to make sure all my classes were transferable. I think it cost $25 for the application fee, but well worth the peace of mind. It was pretty seamless (I think because both schools are in the same metro area.) 💕🌞🌵😷
I wish there could be universities with kind teachers only and where all bullies and ableists will be forced to drop out because it is what they deserve. Thank you for the video❤
I graduated about a year ago, and this video is WONDERFUL. I learned all these things the hard way.
My university would send out accommodations letters to the professors automatically. I would meet with my professors at the end of my class to put a name to the email. I was super lucky to have very accommodating professors and small classes. My friend had accessibility issues in a huge class of 500 students.
Putting assignments in your calendar is SO important. It makes it so much easier to schedule doctor appointments and get ahead if you need to.
Getting into campus health services is also great, but I got referred out to regular non-campus doctors very quickly due to funding issues. So it may be worthwhile to get into a regular primary doctor- ask your campus services how much you can actually get from them. I didn’t have a primary care set up, and when my health blew up, it was a disaster trying to get help.
I know this is somewhat unrelated 🤔 but can you possibly make a video about giving up on yourself and how to get back up from that? It’s like I’ve lost all confidence in myself and don’t want to do anything but give up on myself. I’m really grateful for the videos of yours I have seen and they are really helpful, so thank you so much for that and trying to help people!! If you have made a video like this, can you point me in the right direction?
Sympathize with you and empathize with you, I have Depression…. Which is awful. Don’t be hard on yourself. My grandfather’s nickname was Grumpy……my mom’s was…..Miz…. don’t laugh it was for misery………….
I had to raise my son after my divorce. (He had to go find himself. )
then my son was in college …….. so I called the doctor I used to work for he knew me about nine years…… I told him…..** what’s the use?**
Since he knew me gave me a prescription for paroxetine ……. for depression and it worked very quickly. Everything was great for about 15 years until it started to wear off, but that’s my advice to you. Try this try that……l some thing that’s not mentioned often is to simplify…….
Simplify by everything at once order online, Amazon comes in less than a day sometimes …… do your banking online I needed help…… sit outside on the grass if you can get to a body of water and some grass and some sand, put your toes in the sand you need to get back to basics…..❤❤
For me, turning to God was the most beneficial. Knowing that he gave me strength (and the other stuff, like patience), all I had to do was accept it. I don't have to ask for it, it's already given. All I had to do is accepted the fact that he was healing me every day and it was up to me to fight my way back to "normal". Is it easy? No! Is it fast? No! But every day, I walk a little further. Every day I'm able to do a little more self care. And if I miss a day, I know that's the day he's carrying me. All I have to do is thank Him for all of his gifts. Do I still have bad days? Yes! But tomorrow is a fresh start and I can do it, because I'll have a fresh gas tank. Jordan Peterson says if you are so low, start with making your bed every day. By making your bed, you'll start to tidy your room and by taking care of your room, you'll gain confidence to move to do some thing bigger. The other thing that has helped me is getting a better night's sleep. Close the door if lights shine from the other room. Wear ear plugs, or keep a heating pad in your bed for that last hour, when your room is too cold, etc. Hope this helps. I know you can do it or you wouldn't have commented. Baby steps. Sending lots of love 💖 from sunny 🌞 Arizona 🌵. Take care of yourself and each other 😷
My dad got accomodation from the motor vehicles department after he had a stroke. He couldn't make sense of the written word, so they had someone read him the questions and write down the answers. He lived in the community like 30 years. He passed the driving test, no problem and he probably could understand one or 2 word street signs, but he told me he found his way by landmarks. Like: turn left when you get to the barber shop (striped barber pole) to get to the post office. So the state of California issued him a regular driver's license. The same can happen in school. So don't dismay, seek out accommodations that you are entitled to. There are lots of non-profit legal agencies out there to assist you if you need help. (I know, I had a leasing company turn me down because I had a service dog.) 💕🌞🌵😷
Before starting school, find a place that you can study for a couple of hours. You'll be surprised how hard it is too read a hardback book and take notes or do math problems laying flat in bed. For me, I can't sit straight up or lean forward for very long. So, I had to trade my desktop for a laptop. And trade my desk for bed tray. Things you used to do might be a struggle now. 💕🌞🌵😷
Damn this popped up right when I got my Veterans vocational rehabilitation application approved 😅.
Also, I'm interested in how to make professors adhere to your disability plan. I had a huge problem with past professors blowing off my disability plan that included testing accommodations.
First, most professors have so many students that they don't remember who has special needs and who doesn't. Go to their office hours and discuss your test taking needs and be proactive in making a plan and by reminding them every test, if needed. My community college had a testing center where you would test prerequisites, but professors could also leave tests and the testing center's staff would proctor you.
Next, my college had a VA center, where vets could get assistance. I don't know much about it, but I tutored a couple of vets that got tutoring money from the VA to hire me from the colleges tutoring center's referral. And then there's always disabled student services for assistance. Getting these offices to back you up, gives you more power to get your accommodations.
If your testing time is the same as everyone else, check the professor's other class (they often teach more than one of the same class) and see if you can take your test in his other class.
Lastly, it's been my experience that community college professors are easier to work with than university professors. 💕🌞🌵😷
This is coming from a tutor who often works with disabled students:
Start an email trail and keep it up throughout the semester. Get with Accessibility Services as close to the start of the semester as possible. They should email all of your professors a copy of your accommodations paperwork. If a professor starts blowing it off, you can remind them via email and send them another copy of your accommodations as needed. If they still ignore it, you can report them to Accessibility Services. If AS is the one that drops the ball, then go up the chain of command if needed. But the best thing to do is keep emailing so you have a trail of evidence that you've been having an issue that needs to be resolved.
It also helps if you can have someone in your corner such as a tutor or Student Success coach. Tutors may not be allowed to intervene directly on the student's behalf, but they can help you get in touch with the right people when necessary. I would also look into whether your school has a Student Success or some other type of liaison program that helps communicate with professors and/or Accessibility Services on your behalf.
Whatever you do, don't give up! You're worth it and so is your education! Good luck! 💖
Hey Cassie, thank you so much for this video. This is only tangentially related, but would you have advice for reducing the amount of energy a shower takes and/or accommodating the energy impact of showers for the rest of the day? Unfortunately, with my hair type, every shower is an “everything” shower, lasting around an hour each time, and by the time I get out and get myself sorted, I am drained for at least the next few hours, which, showering once every other day, makes it so that only half of my week do I have the energy/time alignment to do what I want to do.
One thing I'll suggest is to get a shower stool, so you can sit down for most of the time.
The other suggestion is re-evaluate if you really need a full body wash every time. Maybe you could do a quicky or skip arms & legs and concentrate on the stinky bits every time. 💖🌞🌵😷
This is the primary reason I got a short, easier to maintain hairstyle. Completely changed my relationship to showers
This is a struggle for me too, so I have some tips! I have long wavy/curly hair that takes a lot of maintenance, so I'm not sure if that's the same as your hair type, since other hair types can take a lot of maintenance but also can be tended with weekly wash days. (Unfortunately for me, I need to wash my hair/scalp more regularly because of skin stuff.)
- Are there protective or low-manipulation hairstyles that work with your hair type? Since I'm not certain of your hair type, the exact protective style will vary; for white folks like me, three-strand braids done in a semi-loose manner and some buns are protective (think milkmaid braids, loose buns). But for tighter curls (like type 4 hair), tighter braids are more common. Scarves can be really helpful too. A protective hairstyle is anything that keeps the hair off the body and has the ends tucked in without too much strain on the hair and scalp, but low-manipulation styles like a braid or half-up hair can be helpful too. Protective hairstyles can help with lowering maintenance of your hair, since loose hair is more likely to get damaged (friction, sun, temperature, and moisture can break the hair cuticle), collect dirt, and be handled with your hands (which adds extra oils).
- Is showering at the end of the day reasonable? Since I started showering at the end of the day, a few hours before bed, I've been able to shower more consistently. I work from home, but even during school, I often showered the night before. Showers do not energize me, so I avoid having them during the day unless I'm dirty from being in the garden or exercising and the need to be clean is enough motivation to have a quick wash. I also worked a job where I needed to shower after my shift because I was so filthy and sweaty from work, but I know a lot of jobs (like corporate/office positions) have an expectation for being clean before showing up.
- Some showers, I just rinse my hair or put it up to avoid it getting super wet (I don't like shower caps) and focus on washing my skin.
- On my lowest energy days, I do what I call a "bird bath" where I take a wash cloth and wipe my skin at the sink with just water.
- I have a handheld, battery-powered facial cleanser brush to do my face when I don't feel capable of using my hands to do the wiping and washing at the sink. This is really useful for me in the morning or evening if I want a clean face but don't want to deal with the sensory issues of water all over the place.
- Some disabled folks use baby wipes as a way to freshen up, but these have never worked well for me because of sensory issues; however, it might be an option for you!
- Are there parts of the shower routine that can be reduced to once or twice a week? I like to shave my body hair, but it takes too much energy to do as often as I like, so I choose days where I have the time to do it. I also like to exfoliate with a pumice stone, but this takes a while, so I do it only when I have the time and not in combination with shaving.
- What are non-negotiable hygiene tasks? For me, they are: washing the places where sweat collects (armpits, chest, groin), tending to sensory issue areas (feet, since I hate having dirty feet, and face, since I pick at my skin and do it less when my face is clean), and having a clean scalp. This means that some days my shower really is only washing my face, sweaty areas, feet, and scalp. I'll do leave-in conditioner after the shower, which is a set-and-forget task for me, but sometimes I don't do that and just remind myself that my hair will be okay.
I second the shower chair idea! I wish I had gotten one a lot sooner. I also use a folding chair that I keep behind the door to sit in when I dry my hair