I think the best thing about this channel is the honest conversation. It’s why I listen. I enjoy people talking about subjects that interest me. I also appreciate how the host lets his guests speak. Good stuff.
This interview is resonating so much with me. It’s hard being an honest person, growing up in Christianity. Not being the type of person to fake it makes you stand out, especially being in an overly performative congregation. It feels like deconstruction and/pordeconversion is inevitable to maintain your sanity. I didn’t grow up in that kind of church so it took me longer, I needed this type of influence from others. But it seems like we left for essentially the same reasons, being confronted by what you know is true and what you’re being presented which reeks of BS.
I just realized that i never fully stopped “believing”. I just embraced the belief from my childhood that I was rebellious and going to hell. There was nothing I could do to change it. That’s a long crazy story. I’m at a place now though where I can actually deprogram the rest and keep moving forward. Thank you both and HUGS!
This was fantastic. Been following HQ since she went viral, was impressed with her wit, snark, humor and high IQ, loved seeing her connect and collab w folks like Maklelan and Dr Josh, rooting for her in her academic career. And seeing the 2 of you talk and debrief near the end of her 1st year into her Master's studies = chef's kiss
Former Pentecostal here and to hear HQ talk about the strain of being an analytical person who wasn't experiencing the manifestations of the Spirit...it strikes a chord. For me, it's part of what drove me to seminary to try to make sense of the conflicts between church teaching, my experience, and still yet other church teaching.
Also really feeling it around 40 minutes when HQ talks about searching for some objective, rational grounding for Biblical events, and being prepared to accept brutal theology and God's experiential absence if those facts could be established. One of my last stops on the way out was researching whether there were any attested miracles that stood up to scrutiny, and not finding any. Even Christian apologists weren't furnishing real evidence of God's activity in the world. I realized that nobody actually has the goods on this guy.
about the uncertainty and fear of possibly not being saved and the question of how do you know around 19:00 ; Christians will often refer to Romans 8 vers 16 as an example of what that security feels like and it's source. (often it goes with feelings of love and peace, a peace that transcends all understanding). then they say, see you were never born again and saved because this was lacking. it is true to that in all the deconversion vids I watched, and it must be close to a 100 now, this is often lacking when they describe their faith. they talk about how serious they were into it, that they believed it and did xyz works, but not often talk about a personal relationship with God. now I am currently deconstructing myself and some of these claims/experiences can be explained by how the subconscious works. see for example the work mentalists (Derren Brown) do in this field or the tricks some churches use to induce an experience via music and rethorical skills. i had a personal experience also, but I knew nothing about theology and only knew the basics about the gospel. nothing about being born again and the verses about God making you new creation. and my life was transformed BEFORE I read those. so I have a hard time explaining that, but on the other side, a lot of what I used to belief I don't anymore (due to evolution and textual criticism). cognitive dissonance is kicking my butt rn.
I hear you. Even tho I grew up thinking that I could lose my salvation, I never doubted my security once I came to understand justification by faith very early on in my 'walk.' So sometimes I find myself trying to still pitch that version of Christianity to people who have different deconversion stories than my own. But.. they always stress the point that there's enough in the bible to justify the insecurities they wrestled with. And I am no longer interested in defending Pauline theology. If bible-god wanted these folks to be secured, that was his job, and he has failed.
@@ichapod fair point, especially your last sentence, it reminds me of Schellenberg's hiddenness argument, which, IMO, is absolutely devastating. except for a reformed (predestination) theology. but that has it's own problems.
Man, I had an… adventure with YWAM too… I’ve been through a lot & found I’m pretty resilient but that place & those experiences took a part of me. They have brainwashing & reprograming down to beyond a science; it’s a method. Which was a horrible part cause the method was done by the most believing & loving people. I watched us all go into this 5 mo experience unique & different people & slowly all of my friends began turning into the same exact dull person. I never heard from god like my classmates did & I went through crazy zealous lengths to put myself in the position to. I even fasted & prayed for an entire week during that experience. Nothing. Devastating. I think my mind kinda broke for a while after. Wouldn’t recommend
You have to trick yourself into believing and then act on it. The key to stay in christianity is to not think or ask questions. ( so what if the1 bible had a 6300 year old universe, just believe and don't question).
Oh yes. How true. //21:15 "Anyone who's ever deconverted knows ... what it's like to deconvert and feel the weight of all that psychological pressure just evaporate."// I vividly remember the night I realised that my faith was likely BS. That maybe God did not exist and thus hell did not exist. Years earlier, around the age of 12 or 13, I'd feared that I had blasphemed against the Holy Ghost and that fear sent me into a tailspin of fear and depression for several yeas. Although I thought I'd gotten over those fears at the time I realised my faith was bunk, it surprised me that I should have that huge sense of relief. Clearly my external fears had become internalised and the final 'bunk' realisation allowed it all to drop away in the course of a few minutes, one night, about 50 years ago. HQ??? I'd forgotten all about her. 😁 Sorry HQ. 🥲 I used to love your content. Hope your studies go well.
I think the best thing about this channel is the honest conversation. It’s why I listen. I enjoy people talking about subjects that interest me. I also appreciate how the host lets his guests speak. Good stuff.
This interview was fantastic: Jessica is a favorite in my book! I very much relate to a chunk of her journey!
Thank you so much for sharing Jesseca ! More chains broken!!
This interview is resonating so much with me. It’s hard being an honest person, growing up in Christianity. Not being the type of person to fake it makes you stand out, especially being in an overly performative congregation. It feels like deconstruction and/pordeconversion is inevitable to maintain your sanity. I didn’t grow up in that kind of church so it took me longer, I needed this type of influence from others. But it seems like we left for essentially the same reasons, being confronted by what you know is true and what you’re being presented which reeks of BS.
she seems like a lovely person
I just realized that i never fully stopped “believing”. I just embraced the belief from my childhood that I was rebellious and going to hell. There was nothing I could do to change it. That’s a long crazy story. I’m at a place now though where I can actually deprogram the rest and keep moving forward. Thank you both and HUGS!
Beautiful, powerful realization!
This was fantastic. Been following HQ since she went viral, was impressed with her wit, snark, humor and high IQ, loved seeing her connect and collab w folks like Maklelan and Dr Josh, rooting for her in her academic career. And seeing the 2 of you talk and debrief near the end of her 1st year into her Master's studies = chef's kiss
Former Pentecostal here and to hear HQ talk about the strain of being an analytical person who wasn't experiencing the manifestations of the Spirit...it strikes a chord.
For me, it's part of what drove me to seminary to try to make sense of the conflicts between church teaching, my experience, and still yet other church teaching.
Also really feeling it around 40 minutes when HQ talks about searching for some objective, rational grounding for Biblical events, and being prepared to accept brutal theology and God's experiential absence if those facts could be established.
One of my last stops on the way out was researching whether there were any attested miracles that stood up to scrutiny, and not finding any. Even Christian apologists weren't furnishing real evidence of God's activity in the world. I realized that nobody actually has the goods on this guy.
We really should do a Life After Faith episode to flesh out your story. If you're open, mssg me on fb
Oh i been missing Jesseca, HQ! Good to see her live and well!
OMG, "tarrying"! I haven't heard that term in a long time!
O woww i havent seen HQ in a while. I thought she left the cause after her last big news i remember😁
about the uncertainty and fear of possibly not being saved and the question of how do you know around 19:00 ; Christians will often refer to Romans 8 vers 16 as an example of what that security feels like and it's source. (often it goes with feelings of love and peace, a peace that transcends all understanding). then they say, see you were never born again and saved because this was lacking. it is true to that in all the deconversion vids I watched, and it must be close to a 100 now, this is often lacking when they describe their faith. they talk about how serious they were into it, that they believed it and did xyz works, but not often talk about a personal relationship with God.
now I am currently deconstructing myself and some of these claims/experiences can be explained by how the subconscious works. see for example the work mentalists (Derren Brown) do in this field or the tricks some churches use to induce an experience via music and rethorical skills.
i had a personal experience also, but I knew nothing about theology and only knew the basics about the gospel. nothing about being born again and the verses about God making you new creation. and my life was transformed BEFORE I read those. so I have a hard time explaining that, but on the other side, a lot of what I used to belief I don't anymore (due to evolution and textual criticism).
cognitive dissonance is kicking my butt rn.
I hear you. Even tho I grew up thinking that I could lose my salvation, I never doubted my security once I came to understand justification by faith very early on in my 'walk.' So sometimes I find myself trying to still pitch that version of Christianity to people who have different deconversion stories than my own. But.. they always stress the point that there's enough in the bible to justify the insecurities they wrestled with. And I am no longer interested in defending Pauline theology. If bible-god wanted these folks to be secured, that was his job, and he has failed.
@@ichapod fair point, especially your last sentence, it reminds me of Schellenberg's hiddenness argument, which, IMO, is absolutely devastating. except for a reformed (predestination) theology. but that has it's own problems.
Man, I had an… adventure with YWAM too… I’ve been through a lot & found I’m pretty resilient but that place & those experiences took a part of me. They have brainwashing & reprograming down to beyond a science; it’s a method. Which was a horrible part cause the method was done by the most believing & loving people. I watched us all go into this 5 mo experience unique & different people & slowly all of my friends began turning into the same exact dull person.
I never heard from god like my classmates did & I went through crazy zealous lengths to put myself in the position to. I even fasted & prayed for an entire week during that experience. Nothing. Devastating.
I think my mind kinda broke for a while after.
Wouldn’t recommend
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Hi I'm new ❤
Welcome! 🤗
@@ichapod 😇
You have to trick yourself into believing and then act on it.
The key to stay in christianity is to not think or ask questions. ( so what if the1 bible had a 6300 year old universe, just believe and don't question).
Does the Bible Bible mirror the world that we're living in?
Oh yes. How true.
//21:15 "Anyone who's ever deconverted knows ... what it's like to deconvert and feel the weight of all that psychological pressure just evaporate."//
I vividly remember the night I realised that my faith was likely BS. That maybe God did not exist and thus hell did not exist.
Years earlier, around the age of 12 or 13, I'd feared that I had blasphemed against the Holy Ghost and that fear sent me into a tailspin of fear and depression for several yeas. Although I thought I'd gotten over those fears at the time I realised my faith was bunk, it surprised me that I should have that huge sense of relief. Clearly my external fears had become internalised and the final 'bunk' realisation allowed it all to drop away in the course of a few minutes, one night, about 50 years ago.
HQ??? I'd forgotten all about her. 😁 Sorry HQ. 🥲 I used to love your content. Hope your studies go well.