SECRET SECOND WIFE - ''Someone had to go and it was always going to be me'' EPISODE 1/2
Vložit
- čas přidán 20. 01. 2022
- In the first part of this two-part episode, Aysha and Ameenah talk to two sisters about their personal experiences of entering into a secret polygynous marriage. Join us as we delve deep into the reality of a secret marriage and we hear how each sister felt being a 'secret wife'.
Please note - we have protected the identity of each sister to avoid causing any harm to anyone involved and to protect the honor of the brother and his family.
💕 Don't forget to LIKE, COMMENT & SUBSCRIBE 💕
Find us on 📱
Instagram: @ayshaa_mercedes
Instagram:@ameenah_umm_mikaeel
Soundcloud : @Sister2sister_podcasts
Disclaimer: Sister 2 Sister podcasts are made with every intention of giving true and correct information. Any Islamic proof shared will be checked and verified and openly corrected where erred. All of the views on Sister 2 Sister are personal to each individual and any advice shared can be used according to individual preferences.
I have been a victim of secret marriage, my husband was lying and deceving me for four years until I found out he had a second wife with a child in his country, this has traumatized me and impacted my childrens life. Was extremely hurtful and I won't wish this even to my enemy. I call this the ultimate betrayal. I've moved on with my life and realized that Allah had a better plan for me indeed. Sisters if you don't want your future husband to have another wife then be open with him and mention this in the Nikhah contract.
Polygamy is adultery
so sorry to hear this
@@fatmawati3559
Thank you dear.
What was your husband doing in another country?
Did he abuse/treat you horribly while being married to a second wife??
If your a secret, then you open yourself up to slander and abuse, if someone does see you with him, then people may say your having a haram relationship, your put yourself in a place where you dishonour your own self. Brothers will continue to get away with this until sisters say no I'm not going to be a secret I have rights and I'm not willing to give up my rights.
I'm just 10 minutes in and sorry to say but as a sister I don't have much sympathy for the sister sharing her story. First off, if these sisters in these situations loved for their sisters what they love for theirselves then they wouldn't end up in these situations.
Why would any self-respecting righteous believing woman not try and speak to the first wife first as well as the brothers family? The wife may have kids with the brother and you getting married to a brother with a family will affect the family dynamic and can harm the children if not done correctly. Why would you not consider how your actions can impact innocent parties such as your sister in the deen and innocent children? How do you expect a marriage to flourish when your husband will inevitably do the haram of lying about his whereabouts to spend time with you?
Put yourself in the first wife's shoes. How would you feel if you were married for years with several kids being a good wife to a man who turns around and gets married to a sister behind your back and is being intimate with her etc. That's complete disrespect.
These sisters have no empathy for the first wife and allow the brother to disrespect the first wife and then cry when they get disrespected themselves. These sisters need to learn some self-respect as they come across as having low self esteem and desperate for either companionship or some d!ck. These brothers who abuse polygamy cant even afford polygamy! And btw, sisters living off the UK government benefits system does NOT equal being eligible to give up your rights and there's very few sisters who are financially established to be able to afford ALL their living expenses living in the UK especually London, without assistance of some sorts.
This isn't a matter of sisters trusting the wrong brother, it's an issue of brothers wanting some extra pum pum and seeking out sisters who are desperate and possibly selfish enough to agree to something which isn't islamically correct.
High quality brothers don't conduct themselves in this manner.
You are right sister, well said, they go on to desperate and selfish, there is no way I'm gonna put myself in this situation, without doing all checks most of the time they are not financially stable, having problems in the first marriage so they marry to have an outlet, and the sister that married my husband told me she just wanted a companion now and again, she had a council flat and she didn't really want to have a full time marriage so opted for my husband where she will see him when he comes to her city to do dawah, she later turns around and says he not spending enough times and got jealous after she was the one who push up herself.
@@caramel1712 subhanallah I'm so sorry to hear that you went through that sis. That whole council flat ting is real, brothers seeking sisters who claim they are able to sustain themselves financially and willing to forgo that right etc. When it's not even legit islamically from time they live off the system. If that sister knew your marriage was rocky, islamically and if she had compassion she should have advised the brother your husband to try and rectify your own situation especially if you had kids together. This issue of selfishness really needs to be highlighted cos what I'm noticing is that a lot of muslims think on a purely individualistic level when islamically we should be thinking more collectively and as a community.
There should be marriage counselling widely available for couples experiencing troubles in their marriage as the stability of the family unit makes or breaks a society. No one whether they are seeking a polygamous or monogamous marriage should be doing so from a position of mental/emotional weakness cos the sister is desperate for a d!ck down or the brother is thinking he's about to lose what he already has and wants to secure a next woman so he ain't left single - there's a lot of people male and female who cannot handle being single for a multitude of reasons e.g trauma, attachment issues etc.
Anyway I pray that Allah improves your situation and keeps you steadfast upon this deen and blesses your children to be righteous and a means for you to enter jannah ameen x
Exactly
Agree
I don't feel sorry for these second wives who go marry another sisters husbands behind her back, these second wives are so selfish!. Astaghfiullah
Warning to sisters- some brothers use it as a means for ‘halal’ intimacy- once they are done- they will let you go with some excuse. If it is a secret - run far. Dont go into that marriage- high chance is, your there for just a ride. And dont be fooled by big community figures, sadly they can sometimes be the worst
I agree with you! "Fun"
Polygamy marriages destroy the frist marriages!!! Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
In the 12er Shia sect this is called Muta.
@@Hellfire.Jahannam.it's not polygamy but jealousy of women and to be specific first wife.
@@aftabansari2010ableI agree jealousy and foolish men who can’t see through their selfish wives
I dont get why these sisters would agree to be a second wife without the first wife knowing BEFORE the marriage 🤦🏻♀️ it’s common sense. You knew what you were getting into so don’t get angry when you are treated like a “secret”. If he doesn’t tell his wife before your marriage, he probably never will. So duh??? And how can you have any anger to the first wife. Smh.
Only person i feel sorry for is the first wife from story number 2 🤷🏻♀️
Secret marriages are only possible in urban life. In rural life, every person is in the notice of every other person and thus keeping a secret wife isn't possible.
lol, sist i was a fully logical person until i was in the situation. better not judge
They’re too desperate and worthless. I don’t blame the men who treat them badly . they deserve to be treated that way as a side piece. No respect for such women.
It's not second wife duty to communicate with first wife. She's entitled to be second wife without any communicate with first wife.
The men who do polygamy secretly know his wife will never accept it. He lies to avoid the wrath of his first wife.
R u married
Lying is haram plain and simple. A man needs to be man enough to tell his family that he has taken a second wife. After he gets the nikah done. So it cannot stay a secret. He tried to turn her into a side chick.
@@Senny_senyou are right. But it’s not Haram to marry in secret! Though we must avoid it to protect ourselves
@@Senny_sen side chick don't have rights of wife
@@Zazezoo secret marriages are haram
You need to study about Islamic polygamy better
You’ve agreed to a secret marriage which is therefore haram as she stated lying is haram. Brothers are lying to their first wife claiming they’re going masjid or to their parents houses and going off to be with the 2nd wife of course the first one would react whether the 2nd was a revert or not. But I can’t sit easy believing that the sister sat quiet and didn’t react and didn’t have any involvement and Allah knows whether she did or didn’t. In my personal opinion I feel that women need to learn SELF RESPECT, once they have that they won’t opt to be someone’s secret side dish, polygamy is halal but in the UK it’s illegal therefore you were always doing wrong, benefit fraud, keeping things hidden there was no way a Brother can give a second wife full rights in this country unless he is a millionaire or unless the sister is providing for herself and agreeing to drop her rights. If she had met the first wife first and it was on the tables there may still be upset but there would be a sense of respect for both parties. Ultimately it’s the man to blame. When you are marrying a man who is married and has kids and there’s a risk the first wife will leave him, the kids will always come before you.. that’s what sisters need to remind themselves when entering a secret polygamous marriage. Allah says take 2/3/4 IF you can.. when we understand the tafseer of this properly these issues won’t occur. If the prophets wives were jealous and created fitnah amongst one another who the heck are we?
That would not be an issue if Polygamy would not be demonised how it is in this time. How many 1st wives agree to a second wife? 1%? 2%?
There are brothers who are religious brothers, practising and want for example marry a single mother with two children in order to benefit her and the children who have no male role model. They would benefit a second family.
Such single mothers struggle to find a good husband (accepting her with three children) and therfore would be grateful to be a second wife to a religious brother.
But what happens...? Women have an EXTREEEEEME jealousy nowadays which is not natural anymore (seeking Khula because of that). Was Aisha r.a.a seeking Khula? Or any other wives of Sahaba r.a.a. NO. They were jealous but not to that degree.
So this man has a need and want to help a struggling sister with children at the same time.
But 1st wife does not agree. She is selfish like 98% of all women and does not think about her husbands need or the single mother sister struggle.
And then being astonished that a man feels forced to marry such a sister in secret.
If sisters (1st wives) would not always threaten with Khula then the situation would be different and men would not marry in secret.
Yes there are men who are not just. But this phenomenon of not agreeing to a second wife and leaving divorced single mothers on the side is a big problem in our Ummah and will destroy the Muslim society.
Sisters need to start about the reward of agreeing to a second wife and be patient and try to be patient.
Then the situation would be different now.
“Certain lies” is acceptable in Islam. Pls study your deen first. A man can actually marry in secret, if he fears for zina and also the first wife being irrational. Though sisters must be protected from weak men and cowards
It’s called spiritual/ religious gaslighting. Period! That’s what these men are doing and claiming it’s “sunnah”! There’s no taqwa or fear of accountability when they stand in front of Allah tomorrow. I know sisters that done lost their minds. Literally! Left the deen! All because of the awful impact on their mental health. I know many sisters who were shattered psychologically yet the men move on like it was nothing. How long do we have to brush this aside in the community? This topic has been covered by sisters yet where are the brothers speaking out against this? Where’s the gheerah from these religious leaders and “da’wa men”?
Everyones ok with polygamy marriages till their husband, father, brother or son does polygamy marriages that's when hell breaks lose! I've heard people say polygamy marriages are good till it happens to then, oppressing Muslim frist wives, frist wife is crying out and everyone put her down!. Wait till polygamy enter your/ their home!
Polygamy marriages destroy the frist marriages!!! Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
Allah said: (2:256) famously declares "There is no compulsion (forcing) in religion... You take about sunnah, start with your fard also Muslim brothers ignore the sunnah of fasting on mondays and Thursdays, they ignore the sunnah of praying 2 Rakats before fair, they forget that Tahajjud is a sunnah. The only sunnah they remember is to marry 4 wives... as Muslims we must fear Allah swt and not change the deen to suit our needs, unless we want Allah punishment to come upon us,
two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then one [marry only] from Quran...
And you will never be able to be equal just between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From quran from Quran...
Allah said
Verily, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and he forbids immorality and bad conduct and transgression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.
Surat An-Nahl 16:90
And Allah says
O you who believe, be persistently standing firm for Allah as witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just, for that is nearer to righteousness. Fear Allah, for Allah is aware of what you do.
Surat Al-Ma’idah 5:8
“A man who has two wives and who is completely inclined to one and who ignores the other emerges with one side of his body paralysed in the Day of Judgment.” (Hadith; Ibn Majah, Nikah, 47; Mishkat al-masabih, 2/196)
A woman does not consent to share her husband with another woman under normal circumstances, and no woman would like to marry a married man unless she has to.
It is a necessity of belief that polygamy is right. However, to believe it does not necessarily mean for a woman to consent to the second wife and approve it.
No believer father would like his son-in-law to marry a second, third or fourth woman along with his daughter. The jealous nature of the woman and the affection of the father for his daughter disapproves this. As a matter of fact, the daughter of our beloved Prophet, Sayyidah Fatima, objected to her husband, Ali’s marrying of a second woman. If it weren’t permissible to object, Sayyidah Fatima, who was brought up by our Prophet, would not have objected. The Messenger of Allah would have warned her and ordered her to consent to her husband’s wish. However, it did not take place like that. On the contrary, the Messenger of Allah, who saw that his daughter was worried, asked Ali to give up his wish and told him that if he did not give it up, he could marry another woman after divorcing Sayyidah Fatima. He did not consent to Ali’s second marriage to depress his daughter.
By considering that act of the Messenger of Allah, it can be stated that Muslim daughters and fathers may object to the second marriage of their husband or son-in-law.
"literally, left the Deen", maybe their Deen is not strong enough
@@aftabansari2010able ah here we go. Sir who are you and what are your credentials? You have some strong opinions. Let Allah judge. Youre a sinner
@@user-ve4zw6jp9i who are you to decide I'm a sinner???
& What's your credentials??
A typical reply from Muslim feminist (the worst of opportunists)
secret wife seems to be an oxymoron
wife is someone supposed to be publicly known as wife isn't it?
what am I missing?
she can publicly be known to be married on her family side
Polygamy marriages destroy the frist marriages!!! Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
Allah said: (2:256) famously declares "There is no compulsion (forcing) in religion... You take about sunnah, start with your fard also Muslim brothers ignore the sunnah of fasting on mondays and Thursdays, they ignore the sunnah of praying 2 Rakats before fair, they forget that Tahajjud is a sunnah. The only sunnah they remember is to marry 4 wives... as Muslims we must fear Allah swt and not change the deen to suit our needs, unless we want Allah punishment to come upon us,
two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then one [marry only] from Quran...
And you will never be able to be equal just between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From quran from Quran...
Allah said
Verily, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and he forbids immorality and bad conduct and transgression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.
Surat An-Nahl 16:90
And Allah says
O you who believe, be persistently standing firm for Allah as witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just, for that is nearer to righteousness. Fear Allah, for Allah is aware of what you do.
Surat Al-Ma’idah 5:8
“A man who has two wives and who is completely inclined to one and who ignores the other emerges with one side of his body paralysed in the Day of Judgment.” (Hadith; Ibn Majah, Nikah, 47; Mishkat al-masabih, 2/196)
A woman does not consent to share her husband with another woman under normal circumstances, and no woman would like to marry a married man unless she has to.
It is a necessity of belief that polygamy is right. However, to believe it does not necessarily mean for a woman to consent to the second wife and approve it.
No believer father would like his son-in-law to marry a second, third or fourth woman along with his daughter. The jealous nature of the woman and the affection of the father for his daughter disapproves this. As a matter of fact, the daughter of our beloved Prophet, Sayyidah Fatima, objected to her husband, Ali’s marrying of a second woman. If it weren’t permissible to object, Sayyidah Fatima, who was brought up by our Prophet, would not have objected. The Messenger of Allah would have warned her and ordered her to consent to her husband’s wish. However, it did not take place like that. On the contrary, the Messenger of Allah, who saw that his daughter was worried, asked Ali to give up his wish and told him that if he did not give it up, he could marry another woman after divorcing Sayyidah Fatima. He did not consent to Ali’s second marriage to depress his daughter.
By considering that act of the Messenger of Allah, it can be stated that Muslim daughters and fathers may object to the second marriage of their husband or son-in-law.
Yes it’s called walima and it’s not just for her family, if anything it’s for his and everyone he knows, so they know that is his wife!
I didn't know people were Actually accepting secret marriages !!
Sisters, never accept this, in any circumstances!
If he really cared for you he would marry you in front of the eyes of everyone! He could take you as a second wife, but he decided that he wanted you as a secret ! That says a lot.
Don't get desperate, if you be patient you will get a good partner in Shaa Allah.
Don't force it!
Im really sorry to hear about these sisters. Especially to those who r new muslims. I regret that we have such brothers who are ‘knowledgeable’ and abuse their ‘knowledge’ to manipulate these vulnerable sisters.
Second wives have absolutely the same rights as the first.
If a man wants a second wife, man up! Tell your family that you want to do it, be ready for the consequences. Even if the first wife doesnt know about it initially, give a guarantee date about publicizing your second marriage. Wallahi, lying, hiding is absolutely no benefit.
agree, i'm not new muslim but i am not educated in islam, and one of these knowledgeable man swindled me out of my vulnerability
@@fatmawati3559don’t worry, Allah hears your cries and sees your pain. He won’t get away with it!
Such a needed conversation
Thankyou ladies for doing this
It has nothing to do with been a revert, a man that is marring a sister as a secret is not willing to lose his first wife, you have been made a secret because you are easy to get rid off no one know about you that’s all, nothing to do with been a revert.
It’s natural for sisters to get manipulated by men…that’s why they aren’t supposed to marry without a wali. I blame the wali’s a lot because they don’t protect the women as their job requires them to. If the sister’s wali is a random imam of a random masjid, he should treat her like he would treat his own daughter by taking time to find out exactly what she is and isn’t okay with and he should explain to her what she is getting into so she enters the situation with eyes wide open.
Most of the time the sister is desperate to get married so she will
Accept anything and these type of situations not really looking into things properly ,was put in a situation like this where I was the first wife with 6 kids and pregnant at the time my marriage was falling to pieces my husband use to travel away to do dawah, I later came to know that he had married another sister she knew about me and my kids, when I found out I felt betrayed, violated, and I was totally broken on top of that the marriage was abusive. The second wife ended up divorcing my husband because she said that he wasn't spending enough time with here even though she knew he had kids and lived in a different city, my husband then blamed me for breaking up the marrying saying everything was going good until I found out and she thought she could cope in these types of marriages. It always seem to be the ones In respectable positions doing this.
Sending prayers hugs and strength
I'm so sorry you went through that. Did you directly contact her? And why wasn't he spending equal time with her? I mean it is what she agreed to in a way. She's also a very selfish person
But your husband has to be fair with times even if he has kids. You also seem selfish tbh, what if she was to have kids? It’s good she left and I’m glad you get to be his only wife. Just remember next time he’ll keep it a secret. But I’m sorry you are hurt cos it’s not your fault, polygamy isn’t for everyone.
If they did it to their first wife, what stops them from doing it to you? No-thing!
Whoever accepts to be a secret second wife deserves whatever happens later, give your self some respect by not accepting to be a secret in the first place.
Exactly. It shows she’s desperate and willing to be disrespected and kept as a side piece. In this game the 2 are to blame not just the men. They’re both gorwn adults
Subhan Allah, its one thing watching podcasts where sisters just have a chinwag about such issues, but it hits really deep when it come from the victims themselves.
May Allah bless them both and all other sisters who've dealt with such oppression.
These are not victims
Even when the first wife knows. Somtimes the husband doesn't want her family or his family to know. So the second wife still can't be seen with the husband in certain areas and events.
That’s a cow for Coward, not a husband!
The first sister has every right to exercise her right for divorce if she finds out about a secret marriage. The husband has every right to divorce the second wife in order to retain the first , sorry second wives that is the risk you take and chances are that if he has had you sexually for some time he really got what he wanted from you and you will be the one to go .
All I can say after hearing this lovely episode is that I'm heart broken by the 2 stories (all life stories are complicated, but nevertheless the females were always who lost the most), and my eyes are open even more about this subject because I've never heard the female side this vividly before (I've only seen the bitterness and bad behavior coming from their side).
And I'm someone who've always been against and quite vocal about the abuse of this right by muslim men (hearing my friends and family speak about it in closed men meetings made me sick). and knowing very well that God is all fair, I'm positive that this right is allowed by God to solve problems and not create more.
I'll take this point of view with me down my life and future marriage In Sha Allah, and will try to educate the men around me with my best.
I've added the second episode to my watch later list because your episodes are kind of long (Ma Sha Allah 😅)
Thanks again for this great eye opener 🙏🏼
Thank you for your comment, we are glad that you have been able
to take some benefit from this series.
Sister2Sister
Because her consent isn’t needed. Why would I talk myself out of a relationship with a man that I love, a relationship that allah has given me a right over because someone is not willing to accept our love. ❤ someone who is not willing to accept the nature of the relationship. Women just need to set firm boundaries, don’t lower their standard and know their rights and self worth. Nobody in earth can ever make me feel worthless for a right Allah has given me.
@@The-Powertree-Alchemist no one is talking about consent here, no one even mentioned it
It's her knowledge what we're talking about here, and it is not obligatory either, but we are showing how some muslim men are using these loop holes in the law to be cowards and almost doing 'legal Zina'
And Sunnah is very clear on polygamy, and no one from the companions or the prophet himself PBUH had ever lied and married in secret like a thief
so our main argument here was that be honest about your intentions, be a 'true' man, and don't drag two families into chaos when it's finally exposed because you just want to have another women since your first wife isn't as she was when you married her
@@The-Powertree-Alchemist wow arent you a decent human being, you might be lucky enough to find out now he has a third and fourth wife
@@The-Powertree-Alchemist but you are stealing someone else’s comfort and self respect and causing them great pain. That said, your husband is primarily to blame. But is he really worth it? And how do you know he isn’t doing just the same to you. He is a very bad man and may he suffer as he shuffles off this mortal coil.
Sorry to say it but for the second sister, this brother probably wanted a divorce and let his first wife do the dirty work to get to this point. Two years of marriage and he just divorces her ???? These brothers are shady and their intentions can’t be trusted. If this is really a “real” marriage they will not hide it.
I would never do that to another women. I would never agree to be a secret second wife knowing that the man is already married. That's just disgusting. Ladies have some respect for yourself and for other women.
What I want to know is, what is the evidence that brothers are allowed to have a secret wife?
I'm sure you'll be able to find a scholar who will justify it, doesn't mean it's good or allowed really
If they fear for zina cos the first wife might overreact and cry and take he kids away and his home etc
Men have a lot to loose with their first wives.
Though they should make their intentions clear that they only want to marry for intimacy and ask the sisters to forgo some rights. Secrecy is not recommended but think about the lesser of two evil, zina is even worst!
honestly i cant fiish the whole video it's too disappointing and upsetting, that there are men like this , using up the loopholes to swindle women out of their rights and happiness. May Allah deal with these men harshly and swiftly, i have no respect for them
Problem is women don't desire good men they want bad boys.
Barakallahufikum sisters for sharing this.
May Allah guide those brothers who are doing those secret marriages
I feel sad for these Sisters. you have to get out of this evil religion
@@youdonthavetoactreligioust3836 they know islam is the only true religion and way of life. They will never leave
@@youdonthavetoactreligioust3836evil religion? What about those mistresses in your communities? What abou
Look in the mirror, and you’ll see what evil really looks like
@@Zazezoo Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
What makes a sister accept to be kept as secret? On top of that you think it'll go well and victimize themselves when things don't go as they thought. Marriage is a serious institution and they should conduct a thorough screening before getting into it. Also marriage should be announced and the fact that a sister accept it to be kept a secret is a huge reflag. If he is going practice sunnah he should be a man about it and be transparent
as a victim myself, i can say that we women also has needs. we need a sexual and emotional attention and when someone who tries to do it in halal way with you, and you try to keep in the deen, and the feelings involved you just throw the standards to the rubbish.
@@fatmawati3559don’t explain yourself sister, let them talk until their find themselves in such situation
I think in islam u r allowed to lie to ur wife to spare her feelings. Saying he loves her when he doesn't etc.. but doing a secret marriage will psychology harm the sisters and if the women r broken the children will be broken. The men need to have foresight and do it in a way that's best for the ummah.
Sister 2 sounds like a very selfish individual. Sounds like she only cares about herself and herself lol. She said she went to all these places and had all these experiences but it was only 1 or two places she couldnt go and that was too much for her. What about the other sister whose husband was taken from her for all the time he was with you. There was no consideration for the sister who had to deal with the betrayal that was forced upon her. Her attitude is suck it up so I can be happy. No sympathy for either of these women. Let's hope she's learnt from her bad decision making skills.
Nice to meet you two sisters. You shld do more.
These men with secret wives are always finding a moment to humiliate and distress the first wives as they don’t know why it’s happening to them! I would say that the rejection and harshness that comes to dwell with the first wife for ever and ever is so damaging that I think can’t be treated in this life at least!
We are soo very proud of you sisters and we adore you, I pray Allah blesses and keeps you guys always ♡ Aameen
SoubhanaLlah this is very sad to hear stories like this. May Allah protect all the sisters from men whose intentions are wrong.
This is terrible if even our men who have deen, are not able to respect rights of others and manipulate sisters. If our own brother's don't respect us so who is gonna respect us and protect us then ? May Allah guide us all.
I love you
Thank you very much to your videos
You sisters said that the man does not have to tell his wife. This is FALSE. He doesn't need her permission, however the Prophet pbuh said that MARRIAGES MUST BE PUBLICIZED FOR MANY LOGICAL AND PRACTICAL AND SOCIAL REASONS. So, if marriages must be publicized then OBVIOUSLY THE WIFE WOULD KNOW AND SHOULD KNOW. if the community knows! Also, a secret marriage entails lying all the time, hidden children (which is haram because kids could grow up and mistakenly marry their siblings not knowing that they even have those siblings). All of these sheikhs that hide this obvious knowledge for the sake of men's secret pleasures will be accountable to Allah. They are ruining lives and families by enabling lying.
That imam was complicit in this tomfoolery and needs to fear Allah.
Most imams are.
So what is your point 🙄
Is polygamy good or bad
I don't understand
Hey thanks for listening, the video has been made to create awareness around marrying in secret - we are not discussing polygyny here.
@@Sister2sisterpodcasts fine I support you ❤️
Alhamdullilah I am blessed with a great business and family.
Alhamdullilah I can potentially get a second and a third.
But genuinely, I don't think I have enough imaan to be fair, I would rather focus on working on my current family then take on another blessing of a second wife. It's a responsibility as they have rights.
I genuinely don't think I can be fair therefore for me just a Layman Alhamdullilah for what I have.
Do you not live your first wife?
Especially in Europe polygamy is difficult. You can’t always be open about everything. So we are just doing it haram? Why not marry a second wife and make it halal? A man has to take everything? For example the wife making big troubles for him? The wife can threath with haram acts in order to stop the husband from taking a second wife? Here in europe the muslim husband will always lose a case. Maybe not being able to see his children again. Why is one persons right completely overseen and the other person’s right is priority at all time?
Threaten *
Lame excuses
@@user-gy2qg6yb9c i am a sister and I speak of personal experience. This is not a “lame excuse” but a sad reality. Men in Europe can very easily lose their children. You have to be careful with this matter and do it one step at a time.
What nonsense!.
@@Hellfire... why is it nonesense? Are you a muslim if I may ask?
Love every time sister
Sahih Al Bukhari 5134, Sunan an nasai 3959. This is so sad
Yes but some time it's ,happened it's not going ,man levt first wife go to second it's no polygamy anymore .He doesn't passed what have to be.It is dependent man if he doing well with sunnah all rules what have in Islam this good going always.
السلام عليكم
متابعكم من صنعاء دولة اليمن
اسال الله لكم الخير اخواتنا في الله
Salam Alaikum wrwb sisters, wonderful show mashallah, jzk for putting it up and doing this, how can we get in touch pls?
Think about how the children in the first marriage feel. Adult female children of their marriage lost trust in her wali. She fears marriage because Men will use the fact their dad is polygamous to say you must accept it since it already happen in your family.
Polygamy is not Haram, this is about those advantage taking men and vulnerable women. You are missing the point here. I hope now you’ve studied polygamy in Islam
Marrige shouldnt be secret dear my dear sister
Dreadful behaviour on the part of the man, haram, sounds separate, low self esteem used her...taking advantage of the poor sister...😊
Dreadful 😮😢😢😢
exactly, these men are users and taking advantage of vulnerable women
I’m a second wife, the first one doesn’t know, and the one to leave is definitely not me. Allah gave me the golden ticket. I know my rights and know what I stand for.
Sounds nice now but when she finds out, and she will. You will see how your husband responds.
Why would you marry a husband who keeps secrets like that
@@uu7007it depends, if they both have his kids then it’s different. Though the first wife will never sleep again even if he chooses her but think of the second wife who was divorced. So no woman ever wins really.
There’s never peace in disobeying Allah. Polygamy is halal for a reason
Kudos to Sister No.2 for taking ownership of her own actions and not playing the victim card. People need to realise that these are all ADULTS male or female who need to take responsibility for their actions.
Putting oneself in the "vulnerable" category, is like treating yourself as a child or an adult that has a physical or mental disability i.e legitimately excused for their behaviour and needing assistance.
The two hosts keep saying "it's not about polygamy", to be fair this is burying your heads in the sand. If the Muslim Community embraced and enforced polygamy laws as they should be then no man would need to "hide" because polygamy would be an accepted norm. This is a direct result of trampling on the Sunnah and in most case showing hatred for this Sunnah... so what do we expect the consequences to be?
Thank you for your comment.
We agree, there is such a dislike for polygamy within the ummah that it’s made difficult for brothers to be open about it.. however not everyone is in a position to be just and fulfil rights of each wife.
In reference to it not being about polygamy - this is to ensure people listening DO NOT think we are anti polygamy.
No accountability whatsoever from the second sister. She is demanding her rights when she accepted to be kept as a secret in the first place
Exactly’
@@goldenhoursunset2758even secret wives have rights
Too many bitter women in comments section just cos their hubbys love other women. Even with 4 beautiful wives, we can-never satisfy a man!
The dynamics of power change as soon as the first wife is consulted. Maybe men are afraid to talk about it even as an idea. Perhaps the cure is prevention of marriage breakdown, by pre-marriage counselling to talk about these ideas with every muslim couple before it's even a possibility. And especially before children are involved.
Asalamu alaykum, are both of you sisters married ?
Why are you deleting my comments?
This has nothing to do with Muslim or Faith or Quran. You will not find a verse in Quran that supports that either. This happens in all types of religion and has nothing to do with faith Jack.
What is funny is that the people who tell you that the image and the person is made unclear. This could also be a Catholic person who is jealous and trying to bring Muslim faith into bad day light. Nice try .
So what is your point
polygamy
Oh and, if you are talking about 4 wives you have that too . (Sister Wives is a reality TV show on TLC that stars Kody Brown, his four wives. Polygamy .
Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
And this worldly life is not but diversion and amusement. And indeed, the home of the Hereafter - that is the [eternal] life, if only they knew.
@@Hellfire.Jahannam. Nobody cares, narc.
@@leveticus1461 Iblis places his throne upon water and sends his groups (helpers) to do evil deeds. The closest to him are those who tempt people to commit the most grievous of sins (fitnah). They come to him to tell him about what they did. One of them says, ‘I have done such-and-such.’ However, Iblis tells him, ‘You have done nothing.’ Another one comes and says, ‘I did not leave a man until I caused him to leave his wife and divorce her.’ Iblis becomes very pleased and calls him close to his throne and says to him, ‘How good you are!’” (Muslim, Munafiqun 67; Musnad, 3/314).... Allah said: (2:256) famously declares "There is no compulsion (forcing) in religion... You take about sunnah, start with your fard also Muslim brothers ignore the sunnah of fasting on mondays and Thursdays, they ignore the sunnah of praying 2 Rakats before fair, they forget that Tahajjud is a sunnah. The only sunnah they remember is to marry 4 wives... as Muslims we must fear Allah swt and not change the deen to suit our needs, unless we want Allah punishment to come upon us,
two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then one [marry only] from Quran...
And you will never be able to be equal just between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From quran from Quran...
Allah said
Verily, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and he forbids immorality and bad conduct and transgression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.
Surat An-Nahl 16:90
And Allah says
O you who believe, be persistently standing firm for Allah as witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just, for that is nearer to righteousness. Fear Allah, for Allah is aware of what you do.
Surat Al-Ma’idah 5:8
“A man who has two wives and who is completely inclined to one and who ignores the other emerges with one side of his body paralysed in the Day of Judgment.” (Hadith; Ibn Majah, Nikah, 47; Mishkat al-masabih, 2/196)
A woman does not consent to share her husband with another woman under normal circumstances, and no woman would like to marry a married man unless she has to.
It is a necessity of belief that polygamy is right. However, to believe it does not necessarily mean for a woman to consent to the second wife and approve it.
No believer father would like his son-in-law to marry a second, third or fourth woman along with his daughter. The jealous nature of the woman and the affection of the father for his daughter disapproves this. As a matter of fact, the daughter of our beloved Prophet, Sayyidah Fatima, objected to her husband, Ali’s marrying of a second woman. If it weren’t permissible to object, Sayyidah Fatima, who was brought up by our Prophet, would not have objected. The Messenger of Allah would have warned her and ordered her to consent to her husband’s wish. However, it did not take place like that. On the contrary, the Messenger of Allah, who saw that his daughter was worried, asked Ali to give up his wish and told him that if he did not give it up, he could marry another woman after divorcing Sayyidah Fatima. He did not consent to Ali’s second marriage to depress his daughter.
By considering that act of the Messenger of Allah, it can be stated that Muslim daughters and fathers may object to the second marriage of their husband or son-in-law.
Lewisham masjid by any chance 🤦🏾♀️😬
Or Brixton?
This is why you should never marry a sister secretly. Marry her with everyone knowing. You, your first wife, your family and her family will be happy. So much barakah will come from it. Brothers and sisters dont do this. Put your brain before love.
@VeX00786 I would say put your mind before your lust! This isn't Love really. Love is so pure and selfless. When there is real Love Nobody should get hurt like that.
Well Said!
@@hewyahmad5363🎉
Frankly I cant get beyond the fact the prophet banned this for his own daughter, the woman he loved second most on earth.
He didnt ban it from his own daughter. He sallallahu alaihi wasallam rejected his son in law from marrying the daughter of the enemy of Allah.
@@salwamoustafa9284they always twist the deen to suit their agendas 😅
Ali r.a was to marry the daughter of the kuffar, enemy of Islam
@@Zazezoo true
Coming towards Judgment Day, more women than men. How many women are going to be left UNMARRIED? What are our sister's going to do?
Ive been seeing my parenter for a few years niw and we disscussing me being his second wife,i wasnt ready but now i am. He said he doesnt have to tell her as we both in different countries & I agree I dont want drama n we been seeing each other for years I dont want to be his gf so im ready to settle down. His agreed to give me my rights as his been doing.
I feel sad for these Sisters. you have to get out of this evil c ult
the first lady in polygamy I felt sorry for she helped him and he didnt financially support support her.
the 2nd lady was selfish, she was misled by the guy and had a chance to leave when she realized her rights not honoured in first 3 months, he kept her hidden from family - she stayed 2 years. When the1st wife found out she was angry and ready for revenge- because the guy failed his duties. She got divorced because he dont want to pay child support for his first wifes kids.
It's very clear the men pick their targets for polygamy- reverts and single moms, they dont give them their rights, they are not honest because the wifes find out years later, money is taken from wife and her kids to provide for 2nd. The 2nd wife is mostly young ladies that are easy to manipulate.
may Allah deal with these oppressors swiftly and harshly
Not entirely true. First wife’s usually don’t have jobs, on benefits. The man also, so the second wives are usually well established; that’s why men choose them for polygamy. Men don’t choose poor women for polygamy.
All in all, polygamy isn’t Haram and Allah watches and will punish evildoers!
Despicable Muslims these woman need freeing from the cult
Look in the mirror, your face itself speaks cult!!! 😮😅
Stay safe. Avoid Islam.
Muslim women are also responsible for their own deen in front of Allah. Women need to learn their deen and the laws of Islam. Dont act like this doesnt come from Islam just because u refuse to accept it. U shouldnt pick from Islam which part u like n which part u dont like. It's the husbands' right if he is able to marry up to 4. So muslim women must accept this n stop rejecting this n then act shocked n betrayed when their husbands take their right. And u talked that these sisters were desperate enough by marrying someone else's husbands. Better to marry as a second wife than to be single and be exposed to haram. Stop being selfish. They wanna be in halal relationship to protect themselves from haram n to get the same right as they deserve to be protected n cared for n loved by men in halal. This is not being desperate this is their right. All muslim women need to stop acting like they r not muslims. Seek knowledge n accept ur deen.
That’s exactly what the sisters are talking about! His secret wife is not receiving her right! They are not spending time! He doesn’t want to be seen in public with her? How is this fair? Did you forget that Allah said that he has to be just? You are clearly delusional by only talking about men’s rights and not the women! It’s also a woman’s right to be treated with fairnesss!
@@nami20622 im a second wife myself sister.
@@salwamoustafa9284 Are you a secret second wife? We are talking about secret marriages here not open marriages! The man has to be just otherwise he should only marry one! As Allah said in the Quran!
@@nami20622 secret in Islam means that no one knows. If u mean that the first wife n his family dont know but some other people know then this is not considered secret in islam
@@salwamoustafa9284 That is a secret tho! Thats is literally the definition of "Secret" If his wife and family don't know that he has a wife then its literally "secret wife" and how is he meant to fulfill her rights if Shes secret? He cant even take her to dinner in public out of fear of getting caught? How is that fair to her!
Lying isn't haram either. The husband is allowed to lie to his wife.
Where is your hadith please provide it?
Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1939@@Senny_sen
Some Man really think they have every Right over their wives. Like really liying to your wife is halal & a good thing🤨 We should fear ALLAH guys. So much heartbreak and taking advantage of the weaker ones ... This is not from Islam !
Lol both a man lying to his wife and a wife lying to her husband is both halal.@@hewyahmad5363
Lying is haram
Jesus said by their fruit you will know! This is so bad fruit of Islam
Ignorance
Meanwhile, Your church leaders are busy groping little boys and girls in churches, and taken strange men and women to their homes . What will Jesus say about Christianity 😢
Indeed it is not the religion of God, but Islam is
Women accusing polygamy for their estranged marriage but I have seen many more failed monogamous marriage than polygamy
I agree
I’ve had failed monogamous marriages
isnt there a hadith which says when its okay for a man to lie?
Yes even in marriage you can lie she looks good, not to hurt her feelings… and he can marry in secret depending on the situation. Not to use her and her family must be aware. If he fears for zina and also the wife isn’t rational and will take his kids and home away…
@@ZazezooI am a male, hadith are not infallible. The truth is you can't lie in Qur'an.
1. Surah Al-Baqarah verse 10:
Allah will punish the liars
2. Surah Al Ghafir verse 28:
Allah doesn't guide whoever transgressor, a total liar
3. Surah Ash Shuara verse 221-222 :
Shall I inform you of whom the devils descend upon?
They descend upon every sinful liar
Surah An-Naba verse 35:
In heaven:
never hear any idle talk or lying therein.
I don't understand Arabic enough, but according Surah An-Nisa translation verse 24-25, the marriage shouldn't be in secret
so why would allah allow this? shouldnt allah know this would be happening and women would be taken advantage of and suffering
Islam victom😂