Unmasking Narcissistic Abuse: The Hidden Dangers of the Seduction Phase.
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- čas přidán 3. 08. 2024
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00:00 Understanding Narcissistic Abuse
03:19 The Seduction Phase
04:47 Unplugging from the Matrix
06:08 Primary and Secondary Responses
07:19 Recognising the Bait
09:59 Breaking Down the Contract
11:22 Navigating the Shared Fantasy
13:40 Challenges of Recovery
15:56 Dealing with Isolation
18:02 Moving Forward
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Little tip tell the narcissist they talk in their sleep, it's over that point they leave
That's gaslighting. Don't go there, or the colonisation will be complete.
Human contact after some introspecting isolation to learn about Narcisism worked for me. I am a Narcisist BUSTER but took some time. It's a Nightmare you can get out off but requires insight about the hoplesseness of the Maladie. In the END I think we have to run and left this personality types far away from our lifes! They can kill you emotionally, spiritually if not physically. Don't let them! Thank you RIchard for help others FIGHT ON by delete them from your brain and space and live happier lives .:)
You wrote this well. It's true, as you say, I also needed the initial 6 months of complete isolation to work everything out, piece by piece, and see where I made mistakes, where I didn't obey and act as I felt. You have to give back what was taken from you, I owed it to myself - to restore dignity. In such relationships, you need to act and react, immediately, not give in, because negativity and violence accumulate, which was the case with me. I'm lucky that I was able to afford that time and think freely and do what I want. That's the first part, after that it's kind of slow, but it can't be any other way, at least for me. It's important to have patience with yourself.
He was so charming, i felt safe and loved, but after drawing me into his web, devoured me emotionally, mentally, then, physically. He called me names, called me lazy. It took a lot of courage to throw him out, get a restraining order, completely get rid of him. Thank you for helping me break free. God bless you. Its a daily walk. Loving life again
Me too
This is a common tactic. They are codependent in most cases and require a good source of primary supply. Lure you in - bait & switch style: once they have you hooked to the sweet syrupy concoction of charm, feigned 'love', compliments, declarations of you being "the one / their soulmate" -- now the fall from grace! ...and they are all over the place attempting to hook in secondary and tertiary sources of supply --- it was so easy to do to you, now apply the formula over and over to other unwitting potential victims, whilst you're none the wiser. Suddenly they are busy with table tennis that they haven't played since they were 11yo, or off to a ceramics class (when you can't even get them to wash their cereal bowl after breakfast!) --- and if you query their whereabouts suddenly you're: ' needy, codependent, controlling, etc'.
Most of us have been there and could write a book about it, and if we all compared books they'd be eerily similar 😂
Now we warn each other and validate one another which is very valid after all of the gaslighting we've experienced.
Stay strong SURVIVORS 💪
Me too!
Human contact is very important, the problems we sometimes face is that sometimes we’ve been wired to think a certain way that’s not very healthy/flexible. When experiencing abuse it’s natural to want to pull back and be reserved to protect ourselves.. but if that goes for too long we hamper our opportunities to invite people who could enrich our lives. Learning how to read people better, and learning how to tame our fears is a step in a better direction. Once you have people that care, that are warm and compassionate in your life, the narcissist will become a distant memory where they belong.
Been homeless and living in my car since I got away thru freezing winters and extremely danger summers as well. Lost everything I ever owned. Credit went from 831 alone to about 530. Live in my car at 65 disabled and don’t own even a can opener now. Had a 4 bdrm home when I met this Demon.
bless you
Praying God provide for you and keep you close to him during your time of need in the mighty name of Jesus.🙏I am so sorry you are going through so much. You are not alone.🙏
I was the perfect target. I’m caring for my ailing parents and also lost my eldest sister whom I had a very close relationship.
My life was terrorized by my middle sister who’s a toxic narcissist. I went grey rock with her and her character was revealed.
I met someone on CZcams who has a large following. We became friends fast and I suddenly felt heard. We shared many things and I was excited that we understood each other. The trust was honest in my view. Suddenly one day we spoke and he became inflated about that it was a privilege to speak with him. I quickly responded that he’s privileged to have my time as well.
I believe he realized that I wasn’t fawning and that my intellect was equal. He quickly understood that I too brought my life experience to the table, thus I wasn’t giving him his vampiric need.
He enticed me by creating a side channel but then the reality of this happening was dropped on his end.
If I share more, this person will be revealed so I’d rather remain somewhat cryptic.
He suddenly dropped me again with the excuse that he is busy.
My response was complete silence. I haven’t reached out to him after that excuse.
He hurt me again, and I was very tempted to respond “Shame on me”.
Some of your episodes were very difficult. Opening my eyes, mind and heart that those I believed loved me actually wanted me to fail.
Thank you for discussing this topic, it has been painful.
Will look into the class. My life is beginning and I will find myself again.
Thank you for your sharing
@@thaithaovy.1 Thank you for reading. It’s crazy that I attracted another narcissist but I’m gathering that’s not uncommon.
Wishing you the best on your journey. 😊✌🏼
I think we might attract narcissist whenever we are in a bad situation, feeling vulnerable and very much in need of a friend. Sometimes it’s hard to recognize them because they are so good at playing their character. Don’t be too hard on yourself, even if it was fake you needed the attention the narc gave you.
You needed someone to revert your attention too, that as well. And it gave you a lot at that time. And yes, you let it get overboard, and maybe it will happen again but you will get better at recognizing them in the devaluation phase. And yes it costs you money as well. But if you get out of it soon enough, isolating for some time might be the right thing, and when you’ve healed you will be stronger.
You will have to remember not to believe in the happy ending fairytales.
That’s the hardest part, you will have to grow up. And give up the shared fantasy that you can do something for the narc. The price is too high, you pay with your soul. There are fairytales about that as well, the scary ones. You better believe that those are real.
@@marjet2228 Yes, narcissists spot out their next victim and test the waters.
As soon as they’ve assessed that they can lure you in, they love bomb you.
I was in a difficult and low emotional state which made me a perfect target.
I’m happy I stood up for myself when that odd phone call happened.
He was surprised that I didn’t fall for his inflated idea of himself and that I smirked.
I appreciate that you took time to read my share Marjet22.
Wishing you light, happiness and peace.
😊🤍🌻
I developed agoraphobia after I was diagnosed with PTSD, and both my family and my husbands family had a fit, and the smear campaigns and harassment worsened. Its probably the worst part of all of it, after what I had already endured for many years and they knew the jig was up and they wouldnt be able to control me anymore.
Ditto… me too. Agoraphobia, cptsd & bpd.
I’m in constant fight or flight.
My mom is the Narc
I wanted love & attention.
I had to be sick to achieve some love.
My mom took care of me.
Right there with you! My narc and her whole family gas lit and smeared me to all hell, I am a shell of my former self. I am currently escaping, good luck to anyone going through narc abuse!
Interesting as I’ve had this in non romantic relationships too. Some dude will pump your ego because he thinks he can get something out of you. Once you lower your guard you can do nothing right
Same here
Brilliant Richard I have been watching you for 6 years and your AI assimilation is the MACRO we break it on the micro to ascend and you have provided so much insight on breaking the code to Dependancy and that has provided me with strength and determination and I thank you Spartan Coach Love ❤️ Bella
Richard, you're a very lovely person! Thank you for helping people. ❤
What drew me in was Covid. I was lonely and needed a place to stay. He invited me to move in with after only 1 month. After 2 years I left him. I am 76 he is 61. What I feel now is that I am a miserable human being and guilt for leaving him.
Your response to the word soup commenter.. priceless☺️
Loved the response to Goodonetwo, that was smooth. Very interested in the course, perfect timing for my situation. 🙏
Firing out some great content today Rich 👍🏻 it really does feel like a virus, I agree. Certainly gives me pause for thought
I would recommend doing the work/course I thought I had good coping strategies and I had done some of the work from what I've read from books and watched videos I got triggered by authorities other day and found out it's still there I had panic attack I'd like to get some one on one work therapy when I can afford to. Thanks Richard!
Narcissists "bait" their victim, by deliberately doing or saying things to annoy or mock them.
They often used baiting as a way to constantly assert their power and superiority in the relationship.
Narcissists manipulate your emotions by saying or doing something they know will upset you.
Bete is a type of
psychological
and emotional manipulation... 😢
Love you boss and thank you!
Been watching you since 2015 pal. 49 now. Gym 5 days per week, took my kids away from her, living in Thailand, good job and starting up a business having earned a food amount from my hobby. You dont know how instrumental you were in this.
How do know how to love unconditionally when you've never been provided the framework for it?
The day after I met the man, I felt a hook in me (literally) I ignored it, I was lonely… nearly 20 yrs later.. the hook is still there 😢
Your still with hook?
Thank you!🙏
Love FILLED HUGS !
Really don't want to listen to this one. Oh dear this is particularly the one I need to pay attention to. Praying 🙏 for the day when I don't have to feel like I'm an extra in a badly written play, except we're all on the wrong stage😮 Thanks as always Richard for the reality bikkies, however indigestible
That hit home…I’m isolating again after the 4-5 narcissist relationship (I lost count)
Why does he always makes us unhappy....myself and my 3 girls even after 27 years of married life....why do i never feel safe mentally when i am around him
I have no choice in dealing with the father of my kids. He does unthinkable sneaky things to try stop my growth & have grown used to this pattern of behaviour & its really sad that he does things to hurt the children to get to try to cause worry & hurt. It has taken years to realise he's doing this on purpose & that he wants to destroy my life & has tried for years. I'm completely over him & have stayed single since 2018 as there's always something he's plotting & scheming. I'm remaining present & keeping my side of the street clean for our daughters & pray that he stops playing manipulation & coercion tactics to get his own way & disrupt our life continuesly. On a positive note its brought on a huge transformation over the years & I've become a better human each day for my children's sakes. Grey Rock helps although sometimes things can be tough, you just get better at dealing with this type of behaviour.
Could you do a video on spiritual aka emotional bypassing please Richard? I do believe it's a narc's playground. I've noticed they'll avoid everyday, nuanced trigger and shadow work like the plague, it's a big tell. Yes, I've noticed their word and picture salad is also a form of bait they can't seem to let go of. One of the worst had someone take a photo of them being kissed and comforted in the lap of another woman post discard and keeps it up many years later, I'm not kidding! 😬 Thanks if you can, you're very good on all this. 💐😎💖
That was really f'in good
My son was sick when I met my Narcissist, and he was so wonderful with him. that as the most important thing. anyway, still trying to leave, something always stops me, usually I get sick and it slows me down from packing. I just can't wait to be gone.
Best wishes to you ❤
They really get into us ...an they are an angel and a devil it's so hard to let them go..
Filters on fleek!
Loretta Lynn.. God makes no mistakes...
Thank you.
Metamorphoses', thats a heart breaking tale.
I have called every shelter for domestic abuse, and because I didn't take pictures of bruises and/or he's not physically harming me they can't offer me a safe place. I would rather take a beating over the brutal mind games. My pup was sick and he called me crazy and said the pup was fine. She died.
"You need human contact, I wrote the book on it"
Richard, please point me to the resource that would allow me to overcome avoidance of rapport.
I get alarms going off whenever intimacy goes beyond "how are you".
There is no one in my area that can help me. I would end up giving most people CPTSD just telling them what I’ve been through.
"That's not quite good enough for me" ~ Bridget Jones 😈🙅♀️😎✌️
Wanting my family to be what I thought they were. I sold my independence to be with them and now I am trapped in a web.
Mine is - an unavailable man promises to become available - for me
Now Richard goes in the more serious thing
I’m a 57 year old woman who has been tethered to an extremely narcissistic mother for years, because my sister had MS and a lot of family entanglement. She was cruel to my sister as well as her other children. My sister recently passed and I am no contact since. My shame comes from an extremely large extended family in NY and Ireland who think I am the problem. Even though my sister spoke her truth, no one believes that a mother could be so cruel. I tried to protect my sister, but couldn’t even protect myself. Would your course help me in this particular struggle?
Thank you
I am very scared of doctors. I want a professional doctor to help me but I have this fear from my past experiences.
I can’t even trust messaging you, I got this far
I kind of feel like alot of people are over emphasizing narcissist abuse today as opposed to real narcissistic abuse suffered. (Don't get mad at me it appears to be true!) If you've dealt with a real narcissist malignant personality you know it, you've been completely debased and emotionally destroyed on the deepest level, you will never be the same again. Your Soul has been defeated, tortured and scarred. That's facts. Anyway, Richard how do you determine the various border line personalities and various courses of treatment? Is online therapy a viable way to treat people? Ps. people are jealous of your nonword salads Richards🙄 The drama is real. Seriously 🤨 Don't let them get to you. 🌷😊
Who determines what “real” narcissistic abuse is, you?…. Lol
It’s not as final as that. I dealt with a malignant narcissist for years (older sister) and she is basically a past chapter in my now amazing life. Recovery is real!
Malignant narcissism is a mixture of psychopathy and narcissism and comes with egosyntonic sadism and is coined by Otto kernberg. There are garden variety narcissists that are not out to abuse you, they do it offhandedly and and absent minded. *That*’s facts
It fractures one’s soul and causes an extreme loss of identity.
@@insertmyidentityhere 🙄 Certainly not but there is real data on it. Someone may be egotistical and have minor narc traits but being manipulative is not the same as a full blow narcissist.
I am now very sick.
I would love to send you the last message I got from my ex narcissist boyfriend. It started out good and then it turned on a dime. He is now completely out of my life he said things to me that no man has ever said do you have an email address?
I just went through this also ..what he said to me was really disturbing I wish I never read that text...
Why do some with CPTSD become empathic and some narcissists. Is it a choice or genetics
I believe that people develop whichever self-protective mechanisms work for them at the time, which become patterns of behavior later. In any abusive or manipulative relationship, victims operate in survival mode and adapt as they must. In other words, I don't think it is a conscious choice to become an empath or a narcissist in response to narcissistic abuse
Not true in all cases. It comes from being told how wonderful they are.
Comments stopped counting. Not to say they don't count. I mean they don't say how many comments. Interesting.
They are worse than meeting the DEVIL.
Scorpio male ♏️ narcissist are made into heartless people, either in a family setting that also has that lifestyle, it's also protected by guys like you and others too avoid accountability and let off the hook!
I was nieve and young ,
He paid me attention , and he was mesmerising in blue eyes that looked into who I was .
He took control of my home when I worked and had sex with a male regular .
I got home and he was having a bubble hot bath .
He wasn't given a key he got in .
I had lived with hard issues of being abused with no one to hear my screams .
Therefore I remained silently aware of danger.
I still feel sad loving a part of them I saw as godlike.
Unfortunately the other side.
inexcusable rage frustration bad temper cruel release of their RAGE.
They say it has to be a child, to develop npd, but who are they.....
Im really really l need to isolate for many reasons including me gettin myself into situations that are toxic l am toxic lve turned to alcohol and afraid of everything and everyone l do have a couple of good friends my kids are sick of me being relapsed for 3 years and all my health problems lm sick of me too lm still upset from an ex from iv lost count of the years he rejected me for someone else broke me l stayef stayed sober for 3 years so l wouldnt conract him hes a drug user and we got recovery for a year he kicked me to the kirb got into longterm relationship just april tho a girl l know accidentially od dead in his appartment her brother supposed to be stsying witj him to get clean a few years ago also took bad in his appartment and died a few days later lm shoock up l dont know how l feel lm blessed it wasnt me and sad for them all l dont know whats wrong with me been miserable and down most of my life on antideppresants more than half my life l know lm too sensitive and get crippled by emotions and negative thinking is it possible to ever be well lm not abke for all the problems lv had and have and my health is very bad crohns diseaese a rare blood cancer and now copd lm 49 feel like my life is over deprrssion and alcoholism too cos l want to escape my life but makes me more depressed
I'll see you live one day dude..
Seduction. That's Eminem song. Does Lyrica from his song match his music?
Don't answer. Then wonder if I remember the song.
Three
Flipping the emotional script daily sometimes hourly. And stonewalling with no constructive conversation about the immediate circumstance. So confusing Rchard 😕
I feel 0 shame. I feel abused.
❤🇩🇴
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🤩
Book 📖 is BASIC INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE LEAVING EARTH BIBLE 😅GET SAVED JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY 😂
No it’s not! U will still fall victim to these people! And the churches are full of narcissist, both males and females! They thrive under the cover of Christians!