Do you believe in love at first sight? | Lisa Feldman Barrett and Lex Fridman
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- čas přidán 13. 09. 2024
- Lex Fridman Podcast full episode: • Lisa Feldman Barrett: ...
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Lex I totally fell in love with you at first sight. ♥️
HOW DARE YOU! I AM HIS WIFE! LOL! I LOVE YOU! IT'S TRUE THOUGHT :) PS + LEX & JESSICA ... MIKE $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ JH=SAM JH+DJ JH+LE
Lisa is one of my favorite guests that you have had on. She always brings fascinating insights
Love at first sight. Depends upon what one defines as love. I believe that as humans we have a very strong desire to mate. This creates feelings that could be interpreted as "love". I think these feelings are instinctual.
For me as a twice divorced father, I hope I never have that feeling again. Well, the love part anyway, someone please slap some sense into me if I do. Got any handcuffs ladies?
This makes sense though
But what brings us together is more than just our desires to mate. We help each others survive, as she says, we help regulate each others and touch or gentle words is very good for our system. The reason why it hurts is because you lose something which used to help regulate your system, it threatens your survival, not just your chances of reproduction. I have been alone for a long time and I will tell you, it really threatens the survival. (sorry for bad english lol) You have to find things to compensate because there's really something missing, and it's not just the unmet desire to mate.
OR - You are calling it 'instinct' because even though you knew from the get-go that those women were no good and would ultimately result in a net-loss or cause you to say something like "I hope I never have that feeling again" - Yet despite your better judgement you chose an immediate pleasure/gratification of some kind and therefore you still continued and now that those events are in your past you choose to rationalize it by calling it "instinct"
Sure it depends on what one defines as love, strangely a person can apparently 'love' someone without that 'love' being reciprocated but at no point does one become incapable of recognizing something is bad for them just because of how good it 'feels' - those are what we call choices, choices made for a perfectly understandable albeit stupid reason.
You don't need someone to slap sense into you, you should have been slapped every time you didn't make any fucking sense.
@@Jack-yq6ui thats savage bro
perhaps not limiting love to instinct, would be my best "stranger" advice here. And why would you limit yourself to a "woman" who looks like something that you know is only instinctual? And for who?, yourself? Seems one-sided and perhaps selfish to only consider your perspective. What about her perspective towards you? Perhaps the reason why so many relationships dont work is simply because its sexually driven from the start...Love is not sex, sex is an expression along with other expressions of love. Arguing, believe it or not is also such an expression of love. But most do not see this, because we have a nature to avoid what appears negative, rather than something constructive...which in turn can be destructive, if you do not develop a bond of appreciating your partners differences. As we all have differential and agreeable dynamics.
Do you not want comfort?, nurturing? A person who desires to look after you? These are also key things most of us want, not just from a female perspective, but also male. For example: some men like or prefer a motherly figure type ...and the extreme on the female side, some kind of "sugar daddy" type. Not suggesting this is you, just wondering why you have stated "instinctual" and what are you ideas of what you said, as in what do you as an individual mean by that exactly, basing that on? What is instinctual to you personally? And from what your comment said, in regard to sex. Please dont be offended by what I am trying to understand about you with regards to perhaps helping you.
love at first sight to me, is an infatuation. The reality is much deeper. Especially long term. Stop thinking short term. Rewire your way of looking at a beutiful woman as just "man need woman now grrrr". Of course I am not suggesting that this is the exact case for you per say, but you will be surrounded by youth and beauty and what your hardwired to look for "physically"...for mating purposes, should not limit you to something long and fulfilling in one single being that you want for more than just a romp...sex is the easy part...the endurance of all that love can bring, is based on whether you are willing to stay when sex isn't happening.
And as for handcuffs, is that a fantasy or you think you're criminal because you're hard on yourself? I dont understand?
I have advice, not handcuffs. And if thats a fantasy, for me, that would be long term only. But thats my opinion.
Jokes aside...
Just stop being hard on yourself...or try to.
Well, actually I do believe in that love someone at first sight, I met so many friends at my first sight, and I feel the aura the intuition guiding me,
Just feel it spiritually, and love is equal & unconditional, for lover & friend
You can have many compatible connections vs the magic of meeting someone who you project on and connect on another level. They connect and appreciate faults and wants to care for you. This is a very rare thing and takes time find.
What is the saying about the fruit being ready to fall, ripe for whomever happens to be passing by? To me, that's what love at first sight is. We can be immediately find ourselves attracted to someone, but only with time do we find out who the object of our affection is. It's wonderful when they end up exceeding our hopes and expectations. Most of all, we need to love ourselves enough, so as not to try to fill up voids and flaws with someone else's cup.
Eloquent, incisive, and wise. Truly one of my favorite guests of yours, Lex!
Love at first sight... Soul recognition ❤️ those are blessings, even if they result in a crummy lesson, because that chemistry is incomparable 🥰
Love at first sight .is expansive ..it is an immersion with another soul, you have sudden growth and awareness of the other 'bodies' of the human field.
For me its smell, a couple of times I could smell a man stood next to me and before even talking to him or seeing his face I feel crazy urges. I think thats my biology falling 'in love'. Its love at first sniff ☺
Yo what the fuck
Pheromones
No you are right. My (ex) girlfriend fell for me not by sniffing me but she found my "scent" irresistible after we got past the basic pleasantries of meeting a new person. She only told me this after we started dating. And yes I do shower and use deo like (most) other men.
I don’t know what love looks like... I’m broken
i hope u r better champ
quite sophisticated and intense. ima wud need to watch this/listen to this, again...
Lex sometimes wants to sound profound but ends up interupting the person... Anyway good stuff..👌👌👌
I go one way never changes direction
stuff she says at the very end, about her therapist training, sounds wild to me--could u imagaine? such analysis of an interaction--albeit, an hr long interaction? wow.
love is not just neuro chemical. its spiritual which is why people who are not connected to that are baffled by the concept. asking someone about the science of love is silly
Looking at the comments reveals something about the way people view relationships which is wrong. "It's for sex/reproduction". Pretty cold and low EQ.
It's also about spending time with someone you enjoy.
@@danielwait8555 AGREED
I respect my company
What's her name, and how did the two of you meet?
What the hell did she just say ? Didn't understand anything.
Lots of left brain dominance in this one
Love at first hear/read, perhaps moreso?
They lie to themselves in your presence.... 😱
They lie to themselves in your presence
Love❤ at first sight for me is not possible. It cant be. Its not true.
🔥🔥
I always thought that love at first sight would be great fast solution for this whole love thing. It would be wounderfull just pure lust and soul call for that person. It would be so good, finally you didn't have to think and you just know
Well that would be a wildly exciting and fun ride…until that lust wears off and your soul calls you elsewhere of course. It would be like a horrible sugar crash after that sweet, fatty snack. You’ll be wandering the streets past midnight, past your prime, looking for another open buffet!
Not a great solution in my opinion!
@@BuiltInBrooklyn I had in mind love like in our grandparents generation, they found, fell in love and stayed together till the end.
@@sigutenavickaite6587 I see. That would be great, but would it really work in our time?
Our grandparents generation had reasonable expectations so even when the novelty and excitement of the relationship faded they managed to rekindle it. I feel like our generation has to be more pragmatic and objective, first, when choosing a life partner then the lust comes second, because of how quickly we get bored.
Isn’t the divorce rate so high in the west, specifically because people get married based on superficial reasons?
I’m not saying that love at first sight doesn’t exist or that it never works, I personally know couples for whom it worked out, but as a solution at a societal level I don’t think it works. We don’t have the society for such a beautiful, tender solution.
@@BuiltInBrooklyn There is no one solution for everybody.
I was little bit too honest, I just need that would work for me and that's it.
Can you imagine? you just met that person and that's it, problem solved.
No terrible dates, no time wasted, no unimaginably hurtful words you can hear sometimes on really bad dates, no need to look better than you actually are, no stress, no one sided love, no all the things people come up with when person can't tell directly what they feel.
Mr. Friedman, what is the deal with the Men in Black outfit? Feels like a uniform...
First view first comment.
Congratulations I’m so happy for u
Ratio?
Dude, fuck yes
You ain't first you're last
@@bertcuellar7959 *if
I ❤ Love :)
Does anything good ever come easily, right away? Spoiler alert...no