So minimalism changed my life...but then it got toxic.
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- čas přidán 29. 06. 2024
- #minimalism #minimalistliving #goodbyeminimalism
So minimalism changed my life. I learned a new set of value systems that I really resonate with, it gave me the self-control and discipline I need to overcome my shopping addiction, declutter my chaotic space, and even get out of over $120,000 student loan debt. Suffice to say, minimalism changed my life. But more and more I've been feeling the heat from the toxic side of minimalism that I think many may experience, but I've seen only few talk about. So today I'm sharing the toxic side of minimalism that I've personally been grappling with, and how I'm planning to approach and apply my new minimalist values moving forward into this new chapter of my life.
I also want to point out that I recognize my privilege in my experience, both good and bad, with minimalism. It's a privilege to be able to grapple over "wants vs. needs" and to voluntarily choose this lifestyle to begin with. With this video, I'm aiming to share my perspective and where I'm coming from as someone who has chosen to share this journey on the internet, and how my life has changed since taking on the label of being a "minimalist".
Let me know if you've experienced similar struggles or dissonance on your minimalist or intentional living journey. How did you overcome it?
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I'm Christina, friendly neighbourhood human on the internet slash pharmacist. You may have previously known me as Style Apotheca. I'm living in Toronto, Canada and on my channel you'll find me on my journey towards minimalism, being content with less, recovery from a shopping addiction, and my journey towards financial freedom from over $120,000 in student loan debt. Thank you SO much for watching and taking the time out of your day to support my channel. A little thumb always helps support me! - Jak na to + styl
Have you felt anything toxic about minimalism lately? How have you worked through it? The airing of grievances.
Yes. I feel like if I am not living in what looks like poverty, I am not meeting minimalist standards and that I am being judged.
@@nicolafitzgerald it’s so exhausting.
@@Christinamychas isn’t it 🤗💔
Not about minimalism but I went exactly through what you’re talking about in this video but with vegetarianism/veganism. I was living that way for about a decade until it started to become toxic for me. I decided to drop the label and just live my life how I want and not live so constricted. I eat whatever I want now but still eat meat free most of the time. Animal ethics was so important to me that it overshadowed everything else in my life and I started to see how it (negatively) effected most aspects of my life.
Really enjoyed this video! Great content from you always!
@@jennyk.8349 I can appreciate that for sure! It creates so much pressure 🥵
I think this is natural process. You have gone from one “extreme” to another and now you are finding your natural “sweet spot”. It’s like any experience: taking the good things that you learned and apply to your own life in a way that’s sustainable and enjoyable. Recognizing that it will change over time as you and your life change over time. “Toxic” is a big word. You are figuring out what works for you. That’s all. I’m glad you showing this part of your journey, I think it’s as relevant and worthy of discussion as the others 🥰🇨🇦.
Thank you sandy! I think you’re so right!
I think " toxic" is very important word here, because some minimalistic influences can be exactly that " toxic" for the sensitive person. And I am very happy that you used this word because I strongly believe and I have seen people getting rid of ALL their possessions, creating enormous amount of waste, just to find themselves utterly uncomfortable and lost. It's just disturbing.
@@Marsolan I don't think that makes minamalism "toxic". Minamalism existed before this current trend. It also goes much deeper than simply getting rid of a whole bunch of your stuff. It goes much deeper than an aesthetic.
I completely agree with ya Sandy!
Concur with this. I have gone from one extreme to another. You do eventually find a healthy, happy place that suits your life and allows you to make decisions that serve you and what is healthy for your lifestyle. I found the "dark side" of minimalism several years ago and had to let it go. Especially once I had children. It's okay to be sentimental and embrace things that bring you joy. You only get one life and it's just not that big of a deal to enjoy a new pair of jeans once in a while.
I feel that a lot of what is deemed "minimalism" out there in social media land should really be labeled "asceticism", as it seems to be more focused on self-deprivation and, even sometimes, mental self-flagellation. As soon as any so-called practice has a large helping of guilt as a side dish, it's probably a good idea to reevaluate. Great work, as always, Christina.
Yes, this is exactly it, thank you!
I've thought for some time that minimalism was about unworthiness....favoring the sacrifice for the clicks from social media. I too think minimalism is about self-deprivation, but I'd add that shame could be in the mix. In today's culture, guilt and shame are abundant....everyone apologizing for being who they are, or for what they have. Except some elites of course. Minimalism simply fits with a specific narrative that's floating around.
However, I think it's decreasing in favor. The human psyche needs more stimulation than strict minimalism allows. Bare white environments with no texture or depth cause a vacuum in which the soul is starved for something to which it can attend. Add to the blank slate, a lack of work that is meaningful, and the mix is very toxic; whether the sufferer realizes it or not.
Again...balance is key here. No life should be so empty as to destroy one's zest for living. Have enough things around you to keep your soul satisfied without over endulging in things that you believe will bring you happiness. It's a process of adding and subtracting as you change...instead of simply keeping all things for some sense of obligation or duty...or the belief that you will someday "NEED" that thing. Edit your whole life and living on a regular basis to eliminate the things that have done their job for your overall wellbeing and now you can let them go in order to add a new thing.
@@b.d.walters9402 Yes, yes and yes to everything you (so beautifully) wrote. All very important things to think about. Thank you for your words. :)
@@mersault999 Thank You...
Asceticism without a focus on God (minimalism) is aimless navel-gazing.
I’ve been a minimalist since I was a little kid because my parents separated and watching them fight over stuff and only being able to carry a small amount between each house made me realize it’s just “things”! Minimalism to me is about being intentional. That means intentionally spending one evening a month on an “unnecessary” evening with friends. It’s just about being present enough and in tune enough with yourself to make thoughtful choices to create a life you love. Everything I own makes me happy because I thoughtfully selected the item and it’s functional and beautiful. That means I’m a minimalist with a pink velvet sofa! As someone who’s been a minimalist for 2+ decades now I can confidently say extreme minimalism is hard to maintain over a long period of time and misses the message of minimalism in the first place.
I conscieously avoid everything that has 'extreme' in its title. It's deadly, lol.
At last!!! The word ‘intentional’
🙏🏻🌹🙏🏽
Thank you for sharing your story! Your approach to minimalism reminds me of Maria Kalman, who loves her pieces but they are whimsical and idiosyncratic! I remember early in my mnmlsm journey I felt so guilty for loving and being attached to things. But she owns a pair of giant shoes that don't even fit her, they just bring her joy! There's a little piece in her book about them in "My Favorite things." :)
I pick and choose parts of minimalism that work for me like decluttering but let the rest go. I don’t want to live an extreme lifestyle. I want to be comfy, cozy and surrounded by the stuff (yes, stuff!) that I love. Good for you!
You nailed it heather!
Totally agree with you
I agree! This seems like a healthy approach. Minimalism is supposed to reduce stress, not add to it.
Cozy , not overwhelming.
Spot ON!! "LOVE" is the word in which I envelop myself. Yet I also have to use caution and wisdom because everything I love today may be a curse tomorrow. By considering today AND tomorrow I make better choices around the concept of LOVE.
It doesn't matter what the label is. Does your clutter cause you pain? Does your lack of stuff cause you pain? Adjust accordingly.
Yes🙂
Well, the latter is a little more complex, isn’t it? Lack is one of the major crises of century 21.
Exactly. A LOT of people don’t have enough of the things they need. Sad and it’s only makes the classism of this minimalist movement more glaring. Is it really necessary for most lower to middle class people?
@@elyse443 the research on hoarding speaks to the complexity of this.
@gwenj5419 This sums it up brilliantly
To be honest I don’t really worry about what other minimalists are comfortable with. I’ve always just seen it as a loose term for more intentional purchasing, acquiring and living with things. I’ve always naturally preferred to have a peaceful (I don’t have stark white walls etc) and clutter free home. Even when I wasn’t paying debt down. I don’t feel the need to have a certain amount or certain type of items etc.
I love that ❤️
So true. I found that I had to buy more “me” things and purge all that junk I had accumulated that wasn’t really “me.” I had truly let some things go for over a decade. Some things I had were totally dilapidated and those things totally needed a full scale “makeover.” It was almost like the “junk” laying around was preventing me from seeing what was very much lacking and truly needed in my life to make it better. So yeah. More self discovery and more direction and more laser focused purchases is what was needed...not necessarily “spend less money” or “have less stuff.”
Yes!
Agreed
The old adage, "Everything in Moderation" applies here. It was a good exercise to go to an extreme declutter and no-buy in order to know you can control your impulses and financial situation. Now that you've done that, you can moderate them without going overboard (buying stuff), but still enjoy buying things you really need or want - without the guilt! At 63, I've figured out a few things about myself, but still evolving, and still learning. Thanks for your videos. You've given me much to consider, which I will do privately. You are very brave to put it all out there.
My mum used to say everything in moderation even moderation itself.
I've gotten obsessed with capsule wardrobes, to the point that I'm even more of a shopping addict. I keep trying to find the perfect pieces, and return them when they aren't perfect. It's so exhausting. I'd love to find a way back to not caring about my wardrobe so much, but I do appreciate having it paired down. It's a struggle!
It is! I think digging deeper is really helpful, but I think that digging can bring us to a happy balance rather than extremes ❤️
I found I was becoming obsessive about having the perfect minimalist wardrobe and dressing in my colours. I think what really helped was joining a couple of colour and style analysis groups on Facebook. I found that analysing everything to such a degree took any joy out of clothes plus often people you see who look great dress to please themselves not follow any rules.
Good point. In my case one half of my closet is actually filled with things I don't like anymore or that are a bit worn but that I can still wear. I wear those on days nobody sees me or outside with a coat, when nobody sees what is underneath. This way I keep my good clothes better for all the times I need to look presentable. Which is about half of the time. I feel more relaxed in those pieces because it does not matter what I do in them, I don't need to be carefull. I can throw them in the wash as many times as I like without being scared they will get ruined
What I do and I found helped immensely rather than throwing everything away or trying to find the perfect item, I have divided my clothes into 'things I am commited to' pile, and 'things I'm not commited to'
Don't ask why but something about putting them into these categories makes me feel less anxious about owning them. It's like saying, 'i consciously KNOW I don't love these pieces, but I am owning them anyway' or 'these are pieces I 100% love and represent me'. Something about not having these two piles touch and mixed in together just makes me feel clearer headed about what I own and more comfortable about the imperfect stuff
I hope it helps you, it's a system that's genuinely bettered my life aha
I also got to the point where I was spending more than a $100 a month building my minimalist capsule wardrobes for cool/warm weather. Now I've built my capsules, I struggle with not just buying everything on my wish list. If you lack restraint or use shopping to feel better, minimalism is a helpful tool. But I agree, constantly striving to be a perfect minimalist can be just as toxic. For people prone to toxicity when it comes to fashion, it can be hard to find a healthy balanced relationship with fashion.
I think conscious consumerism is a better goal to work towards… at least that’s how I feel for myself. Buy things I want and love! If I can afford them and will truly use them- those are key points to ponder for me.
Yes, Alicia, I like that label: conscious consumerism! And that is exactly what we do in our household. Thank you for that term...
Absolutely…I love the things I do have and can’t bring myself to buy anything I don’t feel strongly about now. For example I have this beautiful chest of drawers, it’s a measure for any furniture that comes into my home. It’s a strong change from 10 years ago.
This reminds me of what Marie Kondo describes in her book about how she hit a breakthrough after being frustrated about all the stuff she couldn't get rid of or manage. She finally realized she wasn't see the beauty and worth in the things around her. I think your ability now to find the things that bring you joy and not feel guilty about having more of them than you "need" fits right in with that approach. I'm glad I found KonMari before minimalism, because I think I would have spiraled down mentally with minimalism. I think KonMari helped me put my focus on appreciating what I have and the joy it brings me regardless of the number of things. I naturally got rid of the fluff that was in the way of the "spark joy" things.
Yes me too ...i like the spark joy ..and chuck out or donate but i prefer Christina s way of mimimalizing better more realistic
Anything taken to extreme can became exclusive and sometimes cult-like. Moderation in all things is a more healthy approach. People who try to make you feel guilty are not looking out for your best interest. Take care🙂
Thank you ❤️
The channels I'm watching, does not make you feel guilty . It's up to you to make your living spaces as comfortable as you want.
Go, girl, go!!! You nailed it on the head. I spent my whole life to find a philosophy to follow, to find my tribe to join and didn't succede. I thought that there was something wrong with me because I over-analysed everything and found cracks even in the best ideas. But now I realised I did it right - I took and idea, advice, tip, ... made it my own and discarded those parts that didn't work for me. I learnt that if you take a whole thought system (philosophy, religion, movement, organization...) and try to force it on yourself you become their slave, but if you just take what works for you, you make 'it' your tool for better life. Also, simple people are content with the basics (food, clothes and shelter) but humans need so much more. They need to fill not just their tummy but also their heart and senses, they need to feel love and experience art and beauty to be trully happy.
That applies to minimalism, as well. You needed it and it gave you a different angle of how to look at life. It was a tool you used to sort your life and discard what was burdening you but when it itself becomes a burden it's time to discard those burdensome parts. Life is too short, enjoy! 🙂
Thank you Hana - YOU nailed it on the head. Declutter the burdens, even the minimalist ones 🥰
I totally got trapped into having everything "perfect" too. I've recently found a balance, I keep what I love and use. I love vintage and antiques so I keep what I really enjoy and I sold and donated the rest. My closet is coming together finally its minimalistic and full of pieces I love now. It's so much easier to clean with less things too I love it
None of these people would EVER say the things they do to you if they were standing in front of you. That somehow makes me feel better about them. There's something wrong with them, not you. Tell yourself that Christina, because you've helped alot of people with approaching minimalism in a realistic way. We appreciate your time and openness.
I kinda started on my minimalist journey when I was going through my divorce. When it came time for me to leave the house, I had to walk away from a lot of material things, as well as walk away from a bad relationship. Learning about the minimalistic lifestyle was like a freedom for me, to be ok with owning less, and to be ok with separating myself from a toxic relationship.
To me, the whole idea of minimalism is to free yourself from liabilities so you can make room for what brings you joy. The extremist can do what they want, but in my mind, that's not real minimalism, that's insanity.
My perspective is that Minimalism is a Journey of Discovery... Not a destination.
🤔 Just my thoughts...
This is the video I didn't even know I needed. I have been thinking the same thing lately. At first I understood minimalism as a shift away from seeking happiness and fulfillment solely in material things. I learned a lot from exploring the extremes of minimalism, but for me the aesthetic is uncomfortable and the lifestyle unsatisfying. I don't want to go back to having so many clothes that I literally don't have enough days in the year to wear them all, but I would like more than two pairs of pants. It is good to know that I could live with a lot less though.
I've always thinking that "intentional spending" is the best way. The extreme, in every way, I think can be toxic
1000% I just “forgot” that intentional spending doesn’t necessarily mean always saying “no”
@@Christinamychas the important hhing is that now you remember it 😊
Loved the video and the honesty Christina. 😊 And I agree with what you said about guilt. Minimalism isn't supposed to weigh us down in any way 😊
🥰🥰🥰
This is the most relatable video of yours I've seen in a while! I got into minimalism in 2017 and after divorcing my husband the following year turned quite extreme. In hindsight it was a way for me both to distract and punish myself with frugality, constant decluttering etc. I slept on the floor, had only bare necessities, got rid of most clothing. Now that I have my life back, my approach to minimalism is very mild. I still have no wardrobe and keep only a few clothing items, but I also I have 30 plants in my room and a collection of entirely useless postcards. It's about intention and knowing what actually works for you.
I love to follow the Swedish lifestyle of Lagom: not too little, not too much, the right amount. I have experienced a draining effect from minimalism; mentally, emotionally, and physically (as a result of the former two). I have been perplexed by the contradiction of finding joy and value in things while also having a mindset of devaluing things, as you mentioned with food and clothing. The only way you could possibly go into these extremes of minimalism is to devalue everything around you and remove yourself from any attachments. I went into minimalism believing I was trying to find value in things and concepts, then keep those things and work toward having time, quality family time, etc. But, I found myself pressured to continue whittling down what I had which meant I needed to remove value from it in order to do so. I also found myself more wrapped up in things via the “need” to declutter more, this never really achieving my goal. This led me to a place of not being true to myself and my real values! So now, I have a very similar perspective to you about it all and truly feel like I’m in a place of not too much, not too little, the right amount.
Excellent point about having to devalue items in order to declutter them. If you already aren't valuing them, then yeah let stuff go. But if, for example, you use and enjoy three different sets of dishware and can comfortably store and take care of them, then there's really nothing wrong with that. :-)
It's about balance, right? I don't want to see hundreds of luxury hauls (or fast fashion hauls), but I also don't want to be lectured to from an empty echoey white room by a person who donated all their stuff (meaning that likely half of it ended up in a landfill or cluttering someone else's house). I want to see real people navigating our complicated material world and making thoughtful decisions about consumption while still enjoying beauty. And I think that's you; hence, I appreciate your channel! Don't let the mnmlsts or whoever get you down.
Very well said!
I practice a form of minimalism. I went from having boxes of clothe and an overstuffed closet and drawers to just a closet of clothes. I do let go of things easily now. What I try to do is just keep a basket full of things I throw in it if I don't wear it and things around the house that I get sick of looking at. I hoard plants and pots, but I don't keep extra empty pots around. If a plant dies I store the pot in the shed and maybe once a month replace the plants in the pots I already have. I don't have a lot of clutter around the house. I just like minimal clutter. When I fill the basket up with stuff I donate the basket. I also don't have a lot of bathroom stuff like makeup and shampoo laying around. I only use a few items. But, I have lots of books and plants. Also I like changing out what I wear and getting new things here and there. I keep things to manageable for my liking. The older I get, the more I curate. I like stuff, but I also like to have a clear space or I can't think straight. It's a balance.
I think that once you put a label on it, all the benefits and joy you have discovered get sucked away, be it “minimalist”, “vegan”, member of a religion, environmental activist, whatever. Even though I don’t eat meat, I wouldn’t call myself a vegetarian because then I can’t have a meal in peace without someone pointing out that I eat fish, or does dairy count? That’s not REALLY vegetarian is it? I want to eat what I want to eat! Not impose a bunch of restrictions on myself to fit some label and then have it endlessly pointed out to me that I haven’t strictly followed rules set by someone else.
I hear you 🙂I don't believe in gods but I'm not an 'atheist'; I promote peace but I'm not a 'pacifist'; I love and try to protect nature but I'm not an 'environmental activist',... I believe that as soon as you put a label on yourself you restrict your choices and possible solutions, and open yourself to unhelpful criticism.
Never thought of it like that but that is a great way to put it. That is exactly what happens when I try to label what im doing.
Yes, minimalism can become puritanical. Reminds me of the great foodie movie “Babett’s Feast” that I saw for the first time last year. They couldn’t let themselves enjoy this incredible gourmet meal because they felt it was too lavish etc. It was back to basic porridge the next day because let’s not take pleasure in anything! Lol. I like a lot of aspects of minimalism but not extreme minimalism. I also had to unfollow many “green” bloggers because it was getting to the point where I felt guilty if I purchased something in a plastic bottle. I tried just bar soap, but after 2 years I bought my beloved body wash again. In a plastic bottle. The shame! Lol
You can look into buying bigger bottles of body wash, it can reduce the amount of plastic you use in the long run by quite a bit. Bar soap or shampoo in a bar is not for me either. I usually use a shower cabin and body wash was invented exactly because people started to take showers vs baths.
This ^
I feel like you just described everything I've been feeling regarding minimalism! These aspects are not often talked about, thank you!
Minimalism for me is creating a life I don’t want to run from. The ultimate act of self care and self preservation
I recognize your feelings. I did a declutter on my home and spend money on the things I really need. Like you, I enjoy fashion, eating out and buying “stuff”. Not in the excessive way I used too, but the guilt that came with minimalism was also not the answer. Now, I try to find a balance between spending money on things I love, without guilt or falling back into the over-indulging shopping. Good luck with your search! Love your content! 💕
I feel you, boundaries and respect of others’ choices are concepts which seem foreign to many nowadays, minimalists or not. I also find that individuals have become extremely polarized ans have forgotten that grey zones do exist. This idea of us being able to formally vocalize our point of view online (or find individuals and groups which resonate with our POV) has crystalized our impression of us being right vs them being wrong. Nothing productive is coming out of this conversation and it’s utterly sad.
So true. The ability to think about a different perspective objectively is a lost skill. Great point- applies to everything these days!
So true... I enjoy when people disagree with me and express their own opinions. It's the only way I can expand my horizons. If they agree, there is nothing more to talk about. It's like listening to my echo, lol.
I'm noticing this in other parts of my life as a student when it comes to having discussions.... it's one thing if you just don't know enough about the subject at hand, but sometimes, it seems as if some of my classmates continue to carry the same opinions and always make it about how they feel personally. Saying how you feel is very much different from vocalizing your thoughts and ideas on the matter....
So true. Someone once said to me: Between black and white on the colour spectrum are all the colour so of the rainbow 🌈 This is so fantastic! It is strange that we seem to be so extreme and polarised and intolerant of others’ ways of living their lives. I am really trying to become aware of this in my own life .... and change 😉
@@hanneshuette There are no black and no white on the colour spectrum, lol.
I consider myself a “minimalist with stuff”. I suffer from decision fatigue, so my wardrobe/hygiene/kitchen are capsule/minimal…no more than what is needed. My living space, on the other hand, is chock full of just the right amount of the antiques and oddities that bring me so much joy to handle and look at. It’s a perfect balance for me. I’m in the transportation industry, which is so utterly chaotic, I need a beautiful, uncluttered, aesthetic space to recover.
Great video!
I went into minimalism at the same time as I learnt about zero waste - both of these concepts really triggered the perfectionist in me. If I bought something that wasn't as eco friendly as I wished, and/or didn't fit into this idea I had about being a minimalist I could feel really guilty. For example, I love to sew, knit and make things. Most of those "typical minimalists" online do not seem to have hobbies that require a lot of tools beyond maybe a pair of hiking boots and a backpack. I felt a lot of guilt around buying things I needed for my hobbies. I decided to turn a lot of my 'waste' into beautiful things. I crocheted a rug from old t-shirts and scrap yarns, and it was a fun challenge to see what I have that looks like 'rubbish' that I can turn into something useful and beautiful. But there is a limit just to how much I can make from my 'rubbish', or even want to make/think is fun to make! Some projects I felt so guilty about because I didn't want to waste the materials due to zero waste, but also as I didn't want to buy more things due to minimalism. Now I embrace minimalism as making projects I enjoy, and I will buy the rest. 😊
I support mindful consumption, and I think that just getting rid of things it not always mindful.
My problems with minimalism are:
1) being dependent. Yes you are not going to use some kind of tool in the near future and you may get rid of it. But then when you need it you will have to rely on other people. If everyone in your neighborhood is an extreme minimalist no one can borrow you a drill, a tent, a warm coat.
2) not convenient to be creative. Extreme minimalism talks a lot about not consuming. But it doesn't talk enough about creating. You need tools and supplies to work on your projects.
3) not always putting things to good use. Quite often you can not use your resources right away. After a good harvest you need to save it, you will need some seeds for the next year.
4) relying on "good times" and good climate. Like, do these extreme minimalists ever mention having a fire extinguisher?
I don't like labels as they illustrate only one part of our personality. However I am grateful for all the videos I watched about minimalism as it did teach me a few good lessons like buying with intention and not use shopping as a hobby, declutter so I can showcase my beautiful art work or beautiful piece of furniture without too much stuff around or on top of it. Thank you for pointing out that we all can learn new habits but we do not need to thrive to be perfect...
I agree the label isn't so much important but the lessons and habits it has taught us .
Christina, while watching this video, you appear to be much happier and at ease. Whereas, in other videos, I felt I could detect some sadness. I would say you are on the correct path for yourself. This is a wonderful video on your reflection. Thank you for sharing.
I’ve totally experienced this:) minimalism has been a good tool for me simplifying, but the fact is I really like experimenting with my style and I like having options for art projects. I was feeling guilt and anxiety around having these “excessive” things, but that felt horrible because these are self expression and fun items. I’ve relaxed on these categories significantly and it’s improved a lot of that anxiety I was feeling around my stuff. I still consider myself pretty minimalist despite all that!
ironically, i feel like a lot of hyperconsumers participating in “flex culture” do so to gain external validation and appear as “better” than others...and i feel like very extreme minimalists participate in this lifestyle for the very same reason. without addressing the root of the problem (caring too much about what other people think), no amount of stuff (or lack thereof) will bring either group happiness...
I have observed what I feel is toxic minimalism....minimalists that are still obsessed with "things", but now it is obsession with getting rid of things instead of acquiring/keeping things. Some seem never satisfied and never feeling joy with where they are in their journey. I think it is important to have a goal or mission when you start, so you know when you have achieved it. My goal was to cut my work hours and my hours caring for my home and "stuff", and spend that time doing what I love and with those that I love. I've reached that goal and now feel that I am in a good place for now. I may have new goals that require additional changes in the future, but for now, I feel a sense of peace with where I am at.
Loved this! I think there's some toxicity in almost every lifestyle, even if the intention is good. That's why I try to not label myself anymore. I also know I will never be perfect and I don't care to be. I like to say I'm on my way to minimalism but I don't know yet what it looks like in my life. Well, I know it's not extreme minimalism for sure. I enjoy beautiful things such as clothing, makeup and home decorations. I just want to be sure that I don't bring excessive quantities and completely unnecessary things into my life anymore, so that I can really appreciate those things that bring joy to me.
Coming from Scandinavia I didn't realise how much I already have a minimalist outlook on life until I moved to the UK. However, I think as soon as you make it into this concept with strict rules etc you can really kill the spirit of what it is supposed to do! So I adhere to the spirit and just Scandinavian decor but I also have a huge plant collection, cause they bring me life!! We were taught to buy less but better quality so that you will love it forever and it will last forever 💓 I think your reflections are super good 👌
It's all about balance. I also have tendency to go very extreme when I am into something. Right now I am learning to balance and have pleasures of life combining with smart handling of money. I also love how minimalism helped me to decluter my house, the energy flow is amazing so it helps me to concentrate on my inner peace.
This is exactly how I feel but was unable to express it. You've hit the nail on the head. I've felt very uncomfortable about all the extreme minimalism that's been around for a while and stopped watching a lot of channels because of them making me feel bad. I've followed you for a while and just couldn't watch your videos about minimalism for a while. Fortunately I recently noticed a change in your approach and have started enjoying your videos again. This is so heartwarming. Thank you😘
Thank you for posting this. I’ll take it as a warning as someone who has been gently exploring minimalism for the past year. I don’t want to get lost in extremes. For me, I want to work on finances, do some decluttering, and get out of shopping as a main habit. However, I enjoy my things that have meaning for me and I still want to enjoy fashion and style. Not lose joy. This was helpful. ❤️
I like to refer to what your explaining as mindfulness. I am lucky enough to live with excess and opportunity and soo many choices and options in every aspect of living. For me, being mindful of my consumption, waste, diet, fitness, and mental wellness is the best I can be. I will never be a minimalist… but I use the thought process of minimalism to be mindful in my life. I bring things into my life that bring joy and purpose… as soon as someone or something no longer serve that purpose or bring in negativity, I let it move on from my life. I think this is a great conversation to be had. Thank you again for keeping the conversations rolling in positive directions.
Shorter hair would look fabulous on you! Like a full on sci-fi bob would be great. For me, I found that the biggest challenge was learning the difference between saying no to things because I genuinely had no use for them (enjoying as a decor/beautiful thing counts as a use for me), and getting rid of things because I thought I was supposed to achieve a particular aesthetic as a minimalist. Once I resolved that, it got easier. I still have an awful lot of stuff, but I find it easier to identify what genuinely adds to my life and keep that.
I completely agree with everything you said here, especially about the idea that the things you own need to be purely utilitarian. I realized throughout my minimalist journey that I am not happy with a bare-bones wardrobe or apartment. I like having a low-clutter space and clothes I will actually wear, but by no means are my things ~purely~ utilitarian. I like having variety and choices when it comes to which coffee mug I want to drink out of, which throw blanket I want to use, or which cardigan I want to wear. Now I call myself a “sort-of minimalist” as I still try to avoid excess :P
All really good points and I feel the exact same way! Minimalism is such a broad term that could mean the aesthetic trend, the living intentionally trend, or the stoicism philosophy. People absolutely do take it to the extreme online, and I refuse to believe that all the video creators are living the way they claim to live (where are their cameras stored, lighting, tripods etc). I personally love the idea of spending more intentionally, and it's an effective method to keep your life clutter-free, but I still want pictures on my walls, and colours in my wardrobe. I love my appliances and I would hate having just a "versatile" cast-iron pan that I have to season by hand regularly for all my cooking. I've noticed that a lot of men minimalist creators in particular are obsessed with the idea of being more productive, rather than enjoying the lives they already have, they are constantly eliminating everything around them that brings happiness and relaxation for the sake of "being more creative". That constant need to earn more / create more to me is the opposite of the minimalist lifestyle I want.
Minimalism or a minimalish lifestyle can be a great tool to help us when we are piled with debt. It can help us to be more strict about evaluating wants and needs and practice delayed gratification. Is minimalism possible to do forever? Maybe. But isn't it more important about the lessons we learn from it? There are seasons in our lives and some, like friends, stay longer than others, but it doesn't make them less important. Maybe that season is done for you...and that's OK, it's served its purpose and now time to let it go. You're so right about analysis paralysis taking the joy out of everything. Regardless of social media and marketing wants us to believe, perfection doesn't exist. It's hard enough to do all of this in the privacy of your own home, let alone in front of an audience. (I can beat myself enough thank you, I don't need help-lol). Noticing that your comfort boundary has been crossed is a valuable life lesson too. We can accept "good" as being enough. ("Better" is the enemy of good😉). You've come a long way, being brave and vulnerable enough to take us along for the ride. Give yourself time to enjoy the summit. Hold the lessons of minimalism, good and bad, in your toolbox and keep going on your journey.
“Minimalish” aaahh I love that!
I’m a balanced minimalist and quit my corporate job that was toxic. Minimalism has allowed me that space to realign my life with what’s meaningful to me. I’ve known people on the extreme side of frugality and minimalism. I had a colleague at work who was frugal and a minimalist. She would often ‘forget’ her wallet at her desk during work lunches. I paid for her thrice until someone pointed out to me what was happening. One day on the way to a restaurant she told me ‘oh no I forget my wallet at my desk again’ I told her ‘you may want to go back and get it’. Everything in life tastes the sweetest when it’s in balance and moderation.If they could get away with it many extreme frugal people would never pay for anything. I never see myself as becoming that person. It still brings me joy buying small gifts for other, like my 4 year old niece and shouting a coffee or an occasional lunch for someone I care about and love.
I relate so much to your shopping addiction. I found that I was using shopping as a way to fill the void in my life and it definitely wasn't healthy. However, I now want to move in the direction of minimalism but with the goal of still retaining my personality and aspects of my life that bring me joy - so a combination of Marie Kondo and minimalism. I just want to surround myself with things I love but really strip that down to what I need and try not to go beyond. So in other words, I am taking from minimalist "culture" what works for me and discarding the rest. I suppose it's easier for me to make this edit/adjustment as I am just starting this journey as opposed to being in it already.
I have not experienced this in minimalism, but in the yoga community. Extremism & perfectionism are everywhere. It’s never really about you (even though it certainly feels like it). Sending you so much love & encouragement for sharing your vulnerability & your journey. I just binged your channel for the last month. I’m close to being up-to-date, but wanted to finally comment & say hello!
You need to change your yoga studio, mine is nothing of the sort...
I know I'll never be a minimalist... I like stuff, and I love options. I'm also 49 and don't care what others say about my experience. It's mine! But I'm coming into this to find my center, a peaceful home full of things I love and use, and will be much easier to clean. 😎
Congratulations on overcoming your shopping addiction.
Congrats on figuring out what is not good for you about minimalism.
I am sure you‘ll find your balance.
This is such an important topic that needs to be discussed! Thank you so much for this video.
An exemplary Minimalist is 1 who is happy.
If you get to say yes to this Christina, you have more to give than just rules.
You set a true valuable example, Albeit a personal 1.
But that would be as unique as your personal style.
Following a trend rarely makes a person truly happy, getting inspired by 1 and making it your own just might.
Keep finding your way. If this combines 1 empty room, 1 stuffed with trinkets, another with plants and 1 with nothing but a huge purple unicorn- shaped sofa… go for it and enjoy….
Keep being inspired and inspiring, yourself mostly.
Nice to see you always honest.
Be happy and free everyone.
Christina! I've been watching so many of your videos over the past week. Just wanted to give a BIG THANK YOU for all of the work you do and sharing your thoughts. You have been so helpful to me in my own journey. Thank you for being you! Truly 💖
This was a great video. Thank you so much! I have been trying to downsize from a huge house into a much smaller one, getting rid of all my excess things and trying to reshape my life, and I was leaning towards a minimalist goal. Knowing of these pitfalls and the downside to minimalism before I get deep into it is really going to help me, especially because I have always struggled with anxiety-driven perfectionism. Thank you!
I agree 1 MILLION percent! Everyone online needing to know how much they are allowed to have, comparing how much/what they have with everyone else. Who the hell cares how much complete strangers on the internet have?!!!!! Why do soooo many people REQUIRE permission from complete strangers to live their own lives?!?!?!?! I REFUSE to explain what/why I own anything to other people.
You always manage to put words to how I’m feeling. I get obsessive about over analyzing my possessions. I just want a simple, joyful life.
I can relate 100%! With my channel I started out as a minimalism channel (not the extreme type); and discovered a passion for perfume and started developing a decent sized perfume collection. I had a lot of people comment as well and bestow guilt on me by saying I couldn’t be both a minimalist and someone with a large perfume collection. (Which is ridiculous). Yes; when you name yourself as a minimalist it does come with a few trolls here and there. Good for you for making it public that you’re not going to put that guilt on yourself anymore!!:) 💗 love your content
I have been focused on minimalism ever since the start of the pandemic. At first I thought everybody else knew more than I did and got caught in the whirlwind. Now 18+ months later I made a low buy commitment for 2021 that was realistic and ( I’m proud to say) I’ve followed through on. I used to think I had to count up my things and that stressed me out. I know that styling could’ve been a career for me and there’s a reason I love clothes. I’ve honed in on my personal style. I no longer want to rush out and buy what a CZcamsr suggests. I have a calm I never used to have and more importantly the constant want is gone. I literally have a list of what I own and a (very small) wish list. It has been incredibly helpful to review- honestly- daily. Christina you have grown SO much. I’ve watched you this whole time. Congrats on paying off all your debt! You’ll sort all this out in your own way. And in the process you’ll help others gain clarity as well. That’s what you do! Thank you ❤️
Thanks for sharing! I am decluttering my home right now, which is very liberating. But at the same time it also feels really liberating to keep some things here and there that I just like for the fun of it instead of throwing them out because they are not "useful". Your video inspires me to keep seeking the balance.
I always appreciate your authenticity, self awareness and ability to adapt with yourself rather than defend a point of view that no longer supports you! Everything in balance. I’ve loved watching your journey and this is a great next step :)
I resonated with this so much! I have such a hard time feeling like I've minimized "enough" or in the right way. And buying things can send me on an overanalyzing spiral where I keep going over every item I bought and trying to confirm again in my mind that it was justified. It can definitely get toxic rather than helpful/inspiring.
well...I actually deleted (not deactivated - like actually deleted) my Facebook account today. That's pretty good detox from a social media toxicity. But my surroundings are perfectly cozy (read: plants). This is a very well-thought out video. Thank you! xoxo
I have been very obsessed with minimalism lately and not in the most healthy way. It can be addicting. This is the first video of yours I have seen and I subscribed because it is so real and true to you. I appreciate you being honest. This helped me find that there can be a balance. Thank you!
Great video Christina! I think as I’ve moved more into a minimalist lifestyle one thing I’ve had to realize is that not all family/friends are going to do the same. For Christmas/the Holidays this year rather than just saying “PLEASE DONT GET ME GIFTS!”, I instead offered up the idea of chipping in for an experience as a family. It was much better received than previous years. Be gentle on your loved ones in the journey. Be a lighthouse not a tugboat. Some will still just want their stuff! Minimalism is your unique experience!
I really appreciate your vulnerability. I am a perfectionist and have been decluttering since November 2021. It’s been a lot of work, but well worth the effort. I think I could fall into that guilt trap. Your advice has opened my eyes. Thank you! You are doing everything you need to do for you.
Thank you for sharing such honest thought and your journey!!! I have been watching all your videos and it is really inspiring! You already have found your own unique style!! 🙏🏻 Do not let those toxic ideas and feelings stop you!
Thank you Christina for always being so thoughtful and self-reflective and transparent in sharing your journey (the ups and downs). I am also working on being more intentional and considered about the things (physical and non-physical) in my life and have thoroughly enjoyed and related to your videos. I must admit, I was starting to sense the anxiety and stress in your more intense minimalist videos, and that was actually the reason I hesitated a bit to watch this one with "minimalism" in the title. But I am so glad you are finding a balance and a path that works for you and that you have been able to take what you like, appreciate the lessons, and leave the rest.
Here's to continued growth!
Ive been watching your older videos the last couple days and i was surprised bc even a year ago you seemed so much lighter and happier. I’m happy to see you letting go of the toxicity that can come from minimalism culture. ❤️
I’m glad you made this video. I watch you bc I think your message of minimalism is practical and useful. I never intend to become a “minimalist” but I have been dealing with my stuff and consumerism a lot differently the last couple of years and seeking out how to do so online. There are many channels out there and IG accounts doing the same (go simplified, go clean, Marie Condo etc) but from a different angle. To any haters you may have I say live and let live, your choices should never be pushed upon others, that’s abusive. Learning to evaluate what we buy and spend on is very important though, and I’m grateful for those who have taught me to think differently about stuff, money and buying. I’m better for it.
Loved hearing your thoughts on this. The guilt is so real! Anytime I buy something when I’ve been trying to do a no buy or low buy, or anytime I buy something new that’s not second hand, I feel the guilt! x
You’re doing great. You’re figuring out what works best for your own personal happiness and that’s what’s important. Please give yourself every ounce of the compassion that you’d give without a seconds hesitation to another person that you love.
I love this video. I came across your channel because I was looking for tips on travelling light but then subscribed because I’ve also been wanting to purge my closet and whole apartment. I really appreciate your take on minimalism and how to adapt it to your needs and still enjoy things. I’d love to really clear out our apartment but I’m big on hobbies like sewing, knitting and my bf & I love board games, so… oh well. 😂🤷🏻♀️ In this small, downtown studio apartment, all we can do is try our best to at least keep it organized and only keep supplies or games we really love and will always use or play.
100% agree. No need for fanaticism ever. And most definitely no need to suck the joy from the only life we get . We can still be thoughtful about overconsumption and ethical issues of overproduction AND appreciate the beauty of a wonderfully constructed item or the vision of the artist. Great job, Christina and I am very sorry for the negativity you got. Forget it. Everyone is fighting their own war. Cheers!!!
I have developed a shopping addiction since the lockdown and am currently in my second month of a nobuy quarter. I am never going to be a minimalist as my wardrobe is my creative outlet and I love third completer pieces for every season. I would love to really concentrate on seeing the true versatility of my closet and be more conscious about adding anything new into it. I think gaining this control back will help me feel better as the shopping was the thrill and now creating outfits is the thrill and what I always loved. Seeing your swing to extremes and then trying to now find a central position is very reassuring that I am definitely on the right track for myself!
I want to let you know I really needed this video. The strict rules I was putting on myself was bringing me to the point where I’m like f it maybe I’m just an over consumer, I can’t live life with no joys sprinkled in
Yes! Exactly!
I Love this video so much! Once and a while I come back to it to remind myself that the journey I'm In is so so valid. Thank you Christina, from the bottom of my heart.
Someone said it’s more about adding intentionality rather than fixating on a specific amount and I couldn’t agree more.
Minimalism It’s not a one size fits all type of thing, or at least it shouldn’t be.
Well articulated video 💕
Hi Christina!
I’ve been following your channel for quite a while! I recognise all the points you identify and agree mostly. As with many things, I try to follow my own feelings about things and not worrying about how others might perceive what I do, or even compare myself to others. Comparison really is the thief of joy.
Of course on the other hand, no internet troll is telling me what to do or not to do and judging me constantly.
In my opinion there is a lot of value in the mindful consumption and spending and I think I would prefer to call it that for myself. I love how you have been sharing your mindful consumption and spending and your search for the right balance. This video is also very valuable in your search and I’m grateful you shared this with us.
Ah, I’m pleased that I listened to this episode. I was very encouraged by your earlier videos to declutter and refine my wardrobe and I loved your honesty about addictive clothes shopping, which I related to. The minimalism not so much as I love the aesthetic of my clothes and couldn’t imagine living in the same style/colours every day for the rest of my life….too stark and utilitarian for me. I’m pleased that you’ve found your groove and looking forward to see how your journey continues. My wardrobe feels so much more manageable, has ease and style partly because of your influence! Thank you.
Some negatives of minimalism definitely are there. I think like anything there is always too much of a good thing
Agree!
Hi Christina, I just came across your channel today and I really enjoyed and appreciated the two videos ( the latest and this one) which I’ve viewed so far.
I think you really nailed the issue when you said ‘Minimalism is a tool’. So, like all tools, it is something to be used, not something that dictates how one uses it.
You alone can decide how you can use it best to suit your needs. Like all tools, it can be misused (and can do damage or be ineffectual). Like you said, being conscious and aware of how you’re using minimalism, how it is enhancing your life or not, should determine whether it is meeting your needs. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing this! I’ve totally been there and couldn’t articulate how I’ve felt about it. Hearing you share really helped solidify this for me!
I love that your brought a realistic perspective to this. I think to people looking into minimalism, it can be extreme and intimidating so hearing the real and raw helps to see it’s a process just like everything else. Could just be speaking for myself but thank you for making it seem less “perfect” if that makes sense :)
Thank you for posting this. I was starting to get to this point and feeling guilty for enjoying the things I own and not all of us want to the extreme. We want to be clean, happy, save money etc and it’s okay to enjoy life. Thank you so much for this ♥️
THANK YOU! It's all about balance & what works for each individual. Guilt & shame to do better and/or be perfect is exhausting! I so much appreciate your honesty and sharing with all of us because we feel you.
In my humble opinion, this is one of the most inspiring messages of all the decluttering and minimalist videos. You discovered and pointed out the main things that are true on many levels in life: 1. Every one`s journey is different 2. Every experience or personal process to get to know who you are 3.Extreme obsessions are sometimes and for some people the tools to find your own true self.
Personally I've been steering away from the minimalist content I used to watch quite often. I find that the content hasn't grown with me and that I need a bit more representation of my own life/experiences to relate to. Like it's a good starting point, but it's not as relevant to me anymore. I have what I need, I give back where I can and I focus on living simpler than before. I'm working on being less attached to things but also appreciating what I have and taking care of my belongings. I.e I enjoy what I own right now, but I could also part with it easily if needs be.
This video was exactly what I needed I've been watching your channel for some time now. I'm super proud of how far you've come. Be Christina!
I'm so glad you made this video! I agree with everything you said (especially the guilt... It's so real, even though I am aware it completely misses the point). Something I've been thinking for a while is that - ironically - minimalism just seems to make people obsessed with stuff. There is a constant focus on what you own, what you buy, what you should or shouldn't throw away, and it can become so restricting and exhausting if you let it. It's supposed to be about shifting the focus away from the material, yet it so often seems to become about obsessing with the material.
For the record, I do completely agree with owning less and have found decluttering to be incredibly liberating. I think it's about finding balance between being intentional with what you buy/own, but not spending the majority of your energy and time decluttering or worrying you have too many cups in the kitchen cupboard or one too many jumpers or whatever. 😂
Sounds similar to finding your personal style; you’re finding what works for you and what doesn’t. Thanks for sharing your journey.
Stay away from the media that supports extreme versions of what you enjoy. Ive been minimalist since 2010 and I noticed all the neutral colour= minimalism, no possession= minimalism and ignored them. I could tell they were people who just have a problem with moderation, they went from buying everything to buying nothing as a cure.
The struggles of minimalism is having to think about something I have purchased or about to. I just returned a purse because I need to buy a separate handle for it to be what I wanted, even though I liked it.
You nailed it. Thank you!
Hey Sister! Your willingness to be honest with yourself and share that with all of us is a gift. Thank you!!
Really great timing with this video, as always. I started out with minimalism a few years ago, while trying to reach rigid financial goals, and it quickly became a tool for achieving some things I never thought I could. Then I started to identify with it in ways I realize now were not beneficial to me (namely the guilt, and even judgement of others). I then came out of that long streak of super tight-wallet'ed thinking, and went to the other extreme of unintentional spending (for me, at least!) thanks partly to Covid, and general stress. I feel like I am just now, after all this time and some uncomfortable lessons, buoying back to a middle ground where I better understand myself and my life within the context of this minimalist philosophy.
I know that we've never "made it" when it comes to finding balance with these things - it's an ongoing process. We change month to month, year to year, and going with the flow of that is healthy. I don't need to hold fast to yesterday's goals/ideas/feelings/identifications.
This is allowing ourselves to evolve, but with a bit more self restraint and intention!
Thanks as always for your thoughtful content :)
Well said... I find that to be true, too. I think that maintaining balance is the best way because it is very easy to swing from one extreme to the other.
I’m all about balance these days. When I started watching minimalism videos, it helped me clear the excess in my home and it helped me stop mindless spending, both welcome changes. That said, while minimalism helped me bring about these needed changes, I’m not a minimalist at all but rather I seek balance. I think it’s the sweet spot for where I’m at in the phase of life.
Great video! Gave a great perspective on some of the issues that arise when striving for minimalism. I realized some of this when I watched a video where someone got rid of all their clothes with the exception of few items and they were talking about it in this empty echoey room and it just struck me that while I strive to live an uncluttered life what was being shown did not appeal to me at all.
Good for you! It seems like you’re really figuring out who YOU are. You’re obviously a very intelligent person learning about your own values and that’s inspiring!
Thank you! I have learned a lot from watching minimalists on utube but I could never be an extremist in minimalism. I definitely downsized my inventory & am enjoying my home with less clutter. It did teach me to think about what I'm buying. I appreciate your honesty! Big Thank You!
You are 100% authentic. I have watched you since you started. You made become “MINDFUL “. Thank you for that.💕. Stay YOUR course. You are a beautiful kind woman. Rock on!