how to raise your self esteem, confidence & standards 👑 | high value traits
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- čas přidán 24. 04. 2024
- What are the traits of a high value woman / person? Breaking down the qualities of how to raise your standards, believe you are worthy & deserving, and become your ideal self. Let our sponsor BetterHelp connect you to a therapist who can support you - all from the comfort of your own home. Visit betterhelp.com/aileen and enjoy a special discount on your first month.
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I’m Aileen, a lifestyle creator sharing knowledge and inspiration on creating your dream life.
Lavendaire is a resource for personal growth & lifestyle design. Follow along and learn how you can create a beautiful and meaningful life.
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Disclaimer: This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. - Jak na to + styl
After reading & replying to some comments, I'm now aware of the negative connotations behind this term ("high value woman") and I apologize for not being aware prior. This is clearly a video about SELF WORTH - all humans are inherently worthy, but not everyone treats themselves that way. This video is meant to help people see & believe in their inherent value. Regarding this term, I had seen many female creators use this term from this positive self worth "queen energy" angle and I hoped to share my take on it.
I'm curious if you were to suggest retitling the video to anything else, what would it be? "how to have confident, queen energy?" etc
Confident, self-assured, independent? Any descriptor that is more direct about your intention would work. "How to know your worth" in the title is perfectly fine
How to be confident. Though I see you’ve changed it to be “high value person”, so you’re still missing a huge piece of WHY incels, alpha males, etc use this term - because it allows them to ALSO clarify what they think is “low value”, and who it’s ok for their audience to trash. When you use the term “high value”, you automatically introduce a dichotomy with a “low value”.
Please, PLEASE put in some research to this topic. I think (with some research and introspection) you could actually make an interesting video about how to not fall for this type of toxic thinking, the problems with that kind of philosophy and worldview, etc.
@@kawaiijutsu i didn't change that part of the title, it was originally there as the subtitle. I was considering whether to update it to "high value traits" or something else. If you watch the video, I did introduce the dichotomy of high vs low value thinking (in terms of viewing the self), so I do want the title to still reflect the content of the video. Otherwise, ppl who only see the new title will complain about a misleading title. Imagine if you clicked on "how to be confident" and then I start talking about high value women & high vs low value - it might throw you off and offend you more.
@@lavendaire I have watched some of the video, though honestly, that terminology and people who subscribe to that worldview are triggering to me and I couldn’t complete it. I think I can see what you mean, but if that’s really the case, you might consider taking this video down for a bit and rewriting. Talking about high value people, women or men, is a completely co-opted term, no matter what you may have been trying to say.
It’s okay if this video isn’t for you then. I still stand by everything that I shared in this video.
The sentiment I get, but the terminology shocks me! Humans are not a comodity, we cannot be "high value" or "low value". We are human, and worthy, every single one. The only trait a person needs to a valuable is to be human.
This is it.
Did you even watch the video she wasn't talking like that at all, she only uses the term because of social media she legit said so in the beginning of the video.
@@emilypossomBut it's only a social media term bc it originated from far-right incel spaces. That's concerning. Casually using it without doing research is not good.
Yes! I was thinking about this the entire video (yes I watched it) and was actually glad when I saw your comment on this. Very much of what she says seems out of reach for me as an autistic woman as well. But I hope everyone who's watching feels like they are valuable...
@@Lokjhsdi it’s not about what she’s saying it’s more the terminology that hurts because it comes from incel and redpill roots. If she made the video and was using more general words and not these specific terms I wouldn’t mind as much. Words have an impact. With that said, I don’t think Aileen is aware of what these words have their roots from…
I’m not sure if you are aware, but high value women and a similar term high value men are phrases used in communities (incel, tradwife, manosphere etc) that actually use them to leverage subservience out of women…I can’t really explain the nuisance in a short comment, but basically the definition of high value used for women in these contexts are more along the lines of shaming “low value” women who have high body counts or are not skinny or not preforming womanhood correctly. I can see if I can find some resources for learning about this, but I can’t think of anything off the top of my head.
you're so right. the subtext behind these terms is really not pleasant. I enjoy lavendaire videos, but this was a miss for me.
Was gonna say this... unfortunately these terms enter the common social media sphere and it's difficult to explain to people who don't know exactly how harmful the origins of these are.
@@abbytrawicki5855 Same for me. I usually like her content, but this one... nope.
Q
thanks for sharing that.. i wasn't aware & I apologize. I've just seen many female creators post about this topic and I've seen both "high value women / men" content trending. honestly this is a video about self worth and I wanted to try a new angle. if you watch the video, it has nothing to do with dating or those negative connotations.
Love yourself the way you are... Love your life the way it is.. Then everything will turn positive..
I made enemies because of my demand for boundaries and respect. It’s hard but I have to.
And I love those ppl who are so thin-skinned because they take themselves out. You don't have to do any work trying to figure out whether they're truly supportive or not.
Same
Thank you for sharing this information. Very refreshing and helpful.
Absolutely it’s very important to treat yourself and knowing you deserve the best and do the inner work to heal. It’s also important to have unconditional love and forgiveness for others. That also makes you high value.
As somebody who’s probably not your target demographic, I really gain a good bit from your content and have made a lot of changes to my life because of it. 🤙🏼 Keep doing what you’re doing!
It's been 2 years, I am in my healing journey and I can say I am on number 7 on High vibe Journey ❤
🎶🪷🎶
Aileen is saying that everyone is high value and has the ability to cultivate high self esteem!🌟 Lavendaires old title should not bother you if you understand her heart and true intentions. Through all of her videos she has advocated how everyone has the ability to cultivate self-love and self-confidence and does not exclude anyone. Some people use the term “high value” to state that your worth comes from the things you have or how your better than others. But Aileen is switching this perspective and showing that everyone has the ability to have high self worth and it comes from the internal. but i loved this shift that you dont need money or status to have worth. She also said it doesnt mean your beneath anyone or better then anyone.
High value is not depending on others its how much you value yourself and just means high self esteem. These are all positive traits to increase your self love. Lavendaires channel is alll about showing others how they have the ability to create a life they love despite their circumstances and that we all can cultivate high self esteem💜
thank you ❤️❤️
It’s not her title that is the problem, unfortunately it’s the groups that have taken that term and made it have so many other deeper problems. I don’t think anyone is coming for Aileen but if she doesn’t want to attract those groups that’s why people are asking her to change the title.
@@brit331 i think it would be pretty awesome if those groups clicked on this video for an ego boost but got a video on self love and self worth instead. She is switching the narrative and transforming the mindset into a healthier outlook! Maybe this video can be a wakening call
Preach, Lavendaire is the sweetest kindest soul. Her videos and meditations have been really helping me get closer to my truest self over the last couple years!
I'm on a 7 or maybe at 8 because I sometimes do cry and feel like I'm not doing enough but when I look back I see that it's okay sometimes you are not always able to do everything and you don't have to be guilty about it!❤
Be proud and confident in this video Aileen, because it’s an important message and I learned a lot. Often people are so quick to do good things for others, but not for themselves. I like the concept of considering a ‘high value’ and ‘low value’ object and how you treat them. I really needed this video right now. ❤
I'm so surprised by this, this term has been co-opted by anti-women groups.
@honestlyme4466 Words and phrases mean things though and just because someone might have a different intention, it doesn't separate that term from the connotations. Or the associations. If you do a CZcams search right now for the phrase "High Value" those videos very much push gender restrictions and respectability politics. It's not positive, the complete opposite of Lavendaire's brand.
@@ornenow4703 But CZcams isn’t a reliable source, it only reflects popular opinion which isn’t always correct. There’s too much tiny minded juvenile content on CZcams which is hard to miss but not hard to ignore.
She said in other comments that she didn’t know that it was used that way and is looking for other titles. But i think the people just saying it’s triggering are missing the point and drowning out those of us that are like hey!! This has connections to groups we don’t want to be a part of!
@@Karen-ve6ds "mans here" terminology is everywhere online, it's hardly just YT.
@@kiskakuznetsova503 Yes, I see that but what about the mentality of those who spread it around, all over social media?
And because it’s out there, (whatever “it” happens to be), a label, a derogatory term, etc. people give it credibility and think in the same way as these perpetrators.
If I was to be influenced by these people making up nasty connotations about others, I would associate angry people caught on film as Karen’s. Obviously that’s just a tiny minded slight from tiny minded people, they’re not worth my attention. Which is why the so called associations of a high value woman never crossed my mind. I think Aileen is far more intelligent than that.
I've got tears while listening to ur words, i knew i do not treat myself like high value person, i hope i became more kind to myself nd respect myself more, thank u Aileen♥️
We know your intentions are ALWAYS full of compassion & meant to uplift every single person watching. Your mission of inclusivity is evident throughout your many years producing content. Your body of work speaks for you in a brilliant way. Thanks for all you do 🌸🌞
My journey about being a high-value person started when i realized i could be anything i wanted to ==> I started believing in myself ==> i started seeing myself as worthy of good things ==> i naturally fell into this mindset of "high-value" and behaved accordingly ♥ I believe it all starts with acting as the person you wanna be and everything else falls into place
always love your content and the positive sentiments, eileen. that being said, i agree with other folks and recommend changing the title/revising the video
I can see you thriving in this era of your life 😘🤗 it's inspiring 💜💜💜lavi love here.
On a scale of 1 to 10, I am on 7 and I know that I am in the process of realising my own self-worth and feeling like a high value woman from the core of my heart. Thank you so much for your wonderful videos. They are truly helpful, insightful and inspiring ❤️❤️
Exactly what needed to hear today, thank you ❤
Amazing video as always Aileen! God bless you ❤❤❤
Always amazing, Aileen!!! 🎉❤
Loved this pointers!! Learning about self care and putting myself first in my mid 20’s has been a game changer for me💕😌 !
How were you able to explain me to the top level 😂💞💞. You are a very valuable and talented person! Namaste 🙏🏾
I think when we consider ourselves high quality people, we treat ourselves properly, we treat others better, and we also teach others how to treat us! I love this ideology!!
I absolutely love the video. I found the tips to be very helpful and what we all need to live by. I think a lot of people that are responding negatively and/or are offended are being overly sensitive due to how the term "high value" was/is used by other people (not diminishing your feelings). I think their could have been a better term used, but I recognize the sentiment and know your heart is in the right place. I appreciate your content and have learned a great deal from you. Continue giving quality content and you are still Zen. GOD bless.
Thanks for the video ❤
Thank you for this video! Focusing on my self-worth has been falling to the wayside recently amongst a busy final uni term! But this was a timely reminder that my self-worth should not be put on hold, it is ever present and always should be a priority ❤ gonna do some journalling on this sunny morning :)
watching your videos adds high value to my life. thank you Lavendaire :)
This is one I will watch and listen to on repeat! One of your BEST. Thank you Aileen. **Obviously** high value in the context of this video equates to high self worth.
I think you did a great job explaining the feeling and the meaning of the words "high-value" as a lot of videos on yt just explain it in terms of women just being picky about men or something. There should be more videos about how to be a high value person! That's what everybody should aim to be, i think
I am still recovering, rediscovering who I was, am and who I can possibly be. So I would say from 1-10, I am at the 7. I have made progress. Some may say why bother you are 68 yrs old, you life is nearly done. But it’s not done and whilst so many friends have passed on, I am still here with work to do. So thank you for your words and sharing ideas of growth and possibilities! Thank you Aileen!
68 is not nearly done yet, you have so much more life to do!
I'm new to your channel and I'm so happy I joined you today. You gave me a lot to think about and I've had many challenges in my life that caused me to lose myself. At this moment I would say I feel my self worth 5 - 6 and I know I deserve better. I'm ready to make a change and get back power over my life!
welcome love 🩷 so happy to have you here! thank you so much for sharing
I feel that I'm a high value person, when I see how inspiring I am to people who surrounds me, and I've seen how they take my example to do changes into their lives or take my opinion as something important.
Thank you very much you have helped me a lot in developing myself and I love you
Amazing video to help people who think so little of them self to be better , you explained it very well 💕
Right now, I don't have a number, but I am climbing, till I reach my highest ground. Thank you! I love your videos!
You're absolutely a queen like an actual queen you're just so aesthetic and wonderful and amazing💖✨🫶
I'm at 8 right now. Still need to do some work with myself and for myself. Thank you for your work here on CZcams! You are awesome! 💖
Needed this reminder today. Thanks!
I am starting my journey on this topic and feeling more peace within myself thanks to that
Something about your hair color and skin tone suits you very well. You look so pretty Aileen.☺️🤗
I like how one of the traits is being kind 🫶
Love this! Thank you!
I appreciate your perspective that being a high value person is about how you express your energy. Energy is accessible to everyone, and you can always choose to embody a new energy.
Every human being is inherently valuable and worthy, but we all go through ups and downs in life, so inevitably we are going to need reminders to recognise this within ourselves. One way to recognise this is to be mindfully aware of our energy.
This is a great reminder for everyone from all walks of life to know that at the end of the day, we are all valuable, regardless of internal/external circumstances.
Anyways, one of my takeaways from this is that to embody a person of value (your greatest potential self), you need to see value in others. Also, I understand that you have used the term high value as a means to help others continuously become a better version of themselves. However, I can also see how using the words high value can unintentionally cause a duality/division in thought about people being of high/low value. When people are conditioned to think this way, we may then subconsciously classify or treat people as being more/less valuable than others. It’s food for thought. Considering this is a great revolution in our thinking.
Thank you for expressing your thoughts and standing by what you believe in.
This is a good insight and a very nice way of unraveling your perspective and counsel. Thanks for sharing 😊
Love this!
Hi Aileen, you just snap me out of it again, i think i am in 5, i still have long way to go to achieve my dreams. Hope i can reach them in the right time, i believe it will come ❤️❤️
Thanks for the videos!
And i just want to say, you may have those negative responses bout this video, but i hope you take it as positive feedback to improve if you feel it is wrong
And one thing, i know you just try to encourage us, to support people with your ways ❤️❤️
Thank you for always sharing those things with us. I think I have improved a lot since listening to you. I used to suffer from a lot of things, but now I am better. I love you so much. I am grateful for following you for a long time. My dear. I love you. Always be radiant.🥰
you are glowing girl!
Been a secret fan since 2020♥️
My high value vomes from four traits: courtesy to others, co-operation with others, respect for self and others, and responsibility for my own actions. What goes around comes around.
Hi! Thanks for the video as always! ❤ any chance you can share your black top info? Its so cute on you!
Thank for being inclusive in mentioning guys. I have always appreciated the content.
When you mention about an individuals inner worth, it reminds me of Eckhart Tolle's Stillness Speaks as similar content is brought up in his book. I just finished reading that one so it is still fresh in my mind.
The part about prioritizing yourself first is something I've learned in the past year, some may look at it like selfishness, but that's not the case. I have an example given to me about this:
If you were in a boat and it had holes in it, no matter how much you want to help someone else, you know that boat is only going to sink faster if you both got in the boat, which would help no one.
In order to fix the problem, you need to take care of yourself/your boat, fix the hole first before you help someone else get onboard. Another words you can't take care of someone else if you can't take care of yourself first.
Thank you for putting this content out in the world. It really means a lot.
Yes! Thanks for sharing. I love Eckhart Tolle’s work but haven’t gotten to read Stillness Speaks. 🙏🏼 sending love
as soon as i heard the term " high value women" i was 🤏 close to pause the video 😅 and luckily you explained it lol .
keep rocking ❤
Is thisss Real!!!!!! ,I was wondering about that morning,
Thank you 💐☀️
You speak so good. All the tips are valuable. Thanks.
thank you love 💝
I value myself to the fullest. So my rating is 10. The best quality mentioned in the video is following big goals. Love this content. Thanks 🧡
Love it!! 👏👏
Energy level was completely different (up) than past couple months. Hope it is a good season ahead.
Absolutely mesmerizing! I'm in awe of your talent,
I like this topic and YOU'RE SO PRETTYYYY OMG
I can't believe that most of your audience doesn't know that the term "high value" is being reclaimed by women with high self esteem, respect, and confidence all over this platform especially. Stop letting incels and other misogynistic groups co-op and monopolize terms.
Your videos are so powerful.kindly include subtitles also...
i always choose to give people the benefit of the doubt and that's what i'm looking at this video with -- but i need to still encourage you to remove this narrative? like the rest, i understand the sentiment behind what you're sharing but using this term is inherently harmful. so i hope you can give it a think yourself why.
I’m genuinely shocked to see degrading alpha bro terms being used here. I’m out, unsubbed.
I was shocked as well. This is hopefully just a misstep she can reflect on, instead of a trend towards harmful values.
it's a video about self worth! i've seen other female creators use this term so i didn't understand the negativity of its origins 🤷♀️
@@lavendaire some of those women may be part of the recent “tradwive” movement, or otherwise red-pilled. Please avoid this term in the future, and if it were me, I’d change the title of this video ASAP.
@@Lokjhsdi if you honestly think that, then you don’t understand what slurs are, do you? Sometimes words get co-opted and their social meaning is changed. Do you honestly think the tone of your words means nothing?
@@lavendairePlease consider changing the title of this video. It's already alienating your subscribers. The videos that use this terminology are coming from a place of deep misogyny that I know is not aligned with your brand. I'm not unsubscribing because I know that wasn't your intention but the association with that side of CZcams is not a good one.
Wake up babe...the queen of CZcams just posted!
Don't worry about the negative comments you're getting girl 💚
I have seen the whole video and i can say anyways that every single word came from your mouth worth listening to :)
Aileen’s top shirt is beautiful ❤
Everyone one should be kind to themselves be the best you can be but we must be walking in humility and kindness because it’s a hard fall when you slip from the top of the ladder
Love your video!
More of this please 🫶🏽♥️💭
Thank you ❤
You are very sincere always...luv u
I appreciate this video. I appreciate all your videos, but i definitely like this on3
Off the top of my head, feels like a 7! I like the analogy of trash vs high value, and it's interesting to reflect and meditate on the qualities and energy of both. What are the inner narratives that gets some people think and behave that they are trash, and the inner narrative that gets others to behave like they're treasure.
Here's the secret: you don't just teach it, you embody it. Your strength, kindness, and passion shine through everything you do. You inspire us to be the best versions of ourselves, and that's the ultimate sign of a high-value woman. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and light with the world!💫🌸
💗💗
Hi Thanks for sharing❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I am literally genuinely a high value person like I have all the qualities and traits you mentioned in this vedio and the reasons I am what I am now is you Aileen thank you so much for eyerthing because I feel like you are my guide through life that the universe gave me whenever I feel like I need some advice on something I just click on one of your vedios and you say the exact words I needed to hear so I am literally so grateful for you as I watched so much of your vedios about productivity burnouts happiness joy guided meditation guided affirmations self care habits and healing your self worth radical acceptance and everything literally so you are the reason I am who I am today a high value girl I am thirteen actually so much love from India from me ❤❤❤❤
13 ??
Yes I'm also see her video are very valuable..... Of our jonery ❤❤❤ thank you❤❤ soo much love from India🎉🎉
Thank you🎉❤ 6 for now
Hey Lavendaire, really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?
Can you do a Video to how to get you Motivation and drives back ?
L❤VE THIS 💕
And it makes them look pretty like you..❤😊namaste
thank you for reminding me who I am as a woman
10 of course🥰😍
I am from India &watch your video ❤
Me too
Hi,me too
Amazing video
Nice video Aileen. I noticed that in your thumbnail you have the title: high value traits. Just curious, what are some low value traits that people(predominantly women since your audience is mainly women) possess? Maybe a better thumbnail would be just: "valuable traits". The "high" title seems a bit, classist.
Ex. Low value traits are opposite of what I shared - not taking care of yourself bc you don’t believe you don’t deserve it, being mean & unkind, not having dreams or not believing you can achieve anything, thinking you’re dumb/stupid, self hate, etc etc.
There is a difference and this is not talking about your “true value” but the value at which you see yourself. It’s the PERSPECTIVE of value. Hope that helps!
Just like flowers require water to keep them beautiful. People require love , honesty , respect , trust , passion energy to keep them beautiful too.Once we give that , then we just may find that the god and goddess we been looking for has been right in front of you us all along.
My point 10. because I just moved to Australian Sydney 11 months ago with my whole family👨👩👧👧 and have been pregnant for 32weeks, but I have already found a recovering Sponsors Visa 😊now just waiting, a breathing, grateful, mindful, positive living in my dream life and working on my loving work for 10th year 💅 I’m proud of myself and Grateful for my kids and my loving husband 💛 Thank you
💛👸🧘♀️😅😎✌️😪🤗👩🎓🤔⁉️/ 🇦🇺to🇲🇳🏫👩🏫 💅😅😊💛
You are looking so gorgeous in black dress❤
But the problem is some people are confident but take others down to feel that way
Some people feel like "I am amzing I am the best You b*tches are nothing agains me because I am amazing"
Thats the down fall to this generation
Confident is key and makes you feel better but I wish that there wheren't that many mean people believing that they need to take others down by acting like they are amazing and you are not
Because everybody deserves to feel amazing not just the people that act like a b*tch
2:20 but you don't deserve expensive things you earn it Its not like you go to your husband and say I want a diamond ring right now And he go's I don't have the money for that and then she go's Yes because I am of high value so you are going to buy me a diamond right now 💍💎
You see I mean to me that doesn't make any sence You don't deserve all of that you earn all of that Thats how it go's and how it should he otherwise we will al end up as brads
I think this is the same thing you've shared before but packaged in a different way that's maybe not suitable for your channel
You look so 😍 pretty
Ily :)
From 1-10 I feel like I am at a 2.
Hey lavendaire thank u so much for helping me so much in my life and today is my birthday and this birthday is so different from other birthday only because of u can u plz wish me a happy birthday to make this day more special for me😊❤
Happy birthday 💗
Just wanna ask how is your eyes now? Cuz I knew you got eye surgery. Are there still any side effects?
I just want to mark this time that I haven't follow this video because my English isn't good yet
Hey Aileen I love your attitude and your video ... I invite you to Sidi ali el mekki to Bizerte ! Such a Paradice and I will help you meet the nicest places and nicest people ❤
8-9
Agreed with everyone here that said this term is commonly used by the incel/tradwife communities and it was a bit shocking to see from your channel. I totally see the point you were trying to make though and i appreciate that. I think changing the title would be a good idea, not because of it triggering anyone, but actually so you don’t accidentally summon that community to your peaceful little spot on CZcams.