3 Reasons You SHOULD NOT Be Friends With Benefits đ | FWB
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 30. 07. 2024
- Get "He's Lying Sis" here đ bit.ly/HesLyingSisYTSpecial - Is being friends with benefits ( FWB ) a smart choice? Here are 3 reasons NOT to be friends with benefits. WATCH THIS!
If you're going to entertain being friends with benefits ( fwb ), then you need to be mindful of what you're getting yourself into.
As a certified life coach, relationship coach, and dating expert, I provide dating advice to help you avoid the issues so many people face. People say they want a no strings attached relationship. They think they can handle being friends with benefits. However, many people just end up catching feelings.
Are you going to be able to handle being friends with benefits if you catch feelings, and the other person doesn't? Will you be ok if they want to keep you in the friend zone, and only want to hook up with you at their convenience?
Be honest about your relationship goals, and consider the relationship advice in this video. These are dating tips for women & men.
Dating coach for men
Dating coach for women
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đŻ Get your copy of "He's Lying Sis" here đ www.heslyingsis.com đ
Fantastic Book, please get your copy, the book really helped me and I still revisit certain chapters đ
No
I was approached by a friend with this. It doesnât work and someone always ends up hurt in the end. Itâs a đŻ % NO for me! In my opinion it indirectly says, youâre good enough for me to use you for the benefits, but not for true love and commitment.
A guy friend wanted to have a FWB situation?
My thumbs up made number đŻ... That confirms for me that you are 100% CORRECT!!!!đđđ
Sharlene Tigchelaar yes they did.
I Feel Exactly the same, itâs just a no win situation.
@@IAmMonicaDenise Gross, would make me rethink the entire friendship even being asked to partake.
Your allowing yourself to be used till he find what he really wants. Respect your self.
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I have never found FWB to be fulfilling on any level. Itâs like being in a dead end job.
Well putđ·
Thats the best analogyâïžđđŸđđŸđđŸđđŸđđŸđđŸđđŸđđŸ
Yesssssss yes yes!!!
agreed i tried it and wasn't even fulfilling at all.
This is an excellent analogy.
No such thing as friends with benefits. One person will always catch feelings & it'll end badly. Sex is spiritual, not just physical
You're so right! It IS spiritual, not physical! Blessings!
Amen! You are creating a bond with someone you are not committed to, which is exactly what sex was created for.
My girlfriend used to have alot fwb before and me, as a christian, who would never let anyone into my intimacy before strong spiritual bond, I struggle accepting her past. Can a person like her be trustworthy? Doesnt it stuck with you once you opened yrself to this behaviour?
@Tinka Matez im on the same boat,was a virgin,girlfriend had a lot of friends with benefits.I still struggle a lot because,she told me everything.Most of the time she didnt even feel good, because the other guys didnt care for her to feel good,she was just a *easy ride* for them,and while she was hurt... she continued persuading this,because she couldn't be lonely,it hurts her.We have talked a lot about this,she explained to me that she is jealous of me....because i stood to my morals,and i didnt give in to some Thot who would use me.She feels bad,really bad.Yet she is the coolest person i know,a healthy non toxic human being,who understands me and we gonna engage.You cant change the past,but our past doesn't define who we will become.Trust your partner,love her,talk about it with her,trust me its good to talk.Dont listen to assholes,she can be your future,if she learnt from her past experiences.
I don't believe in spiritual things so I find it hard to understand but it is physical cause when you're having sex with someone you have to be physically there
I completely disagree with the whole âFriends with Benefitsâ concept. Basically, youâre giving away the most precious thing about you (your mind, body & soul - wrapped up in a package called sex) and getting nothing in return - no commitment, no loyalty, no true love. Whereâs the fun in that?
Yahuah Is My Everything I Agree đŻ
Freedom. I would never ever reccomend it for a woman who's into romantic relationships. If shes busy and not into the guy that much..it can def work
Yahuah Is My Everything the sex is the fun.
Yahuah Is My Everything studies show when you have a connection with someone it makes sex so much more pleasurable the way it was supposed to be. Especially for the women, being an emotional creature and all. If she is feeling you she can even have a. Orgsm just be the sound of your voice and get turned on just by your scent.
Antonio Wolfpack 1990 I agree! Thatâs because sex is more than just physical - there are spiritual, emotional and mental sides to it and if itâs experienced with someone who has committed to you then it will be very very pleasurable.
Your right sometimes we accept fwb because we think that they will fall in love
It's hard because I've been in this relationship before and then I end up getting attached and then they want to see somebody else and then I end up getting crushed heartbroken and upset and alone when I thought things were good better and we Would end up boyfriend girlfriend.
@@daniellamoreno3616 yes i know that feeling but it doesn't even make a difference i was dating for 4 years and i felt like we were fwb he just left me out of the no where to go back with his ex so in general to me the dating scene seems the same
@@daniellamoreno3616 omg sorry
@@arabaamoah5660 it's actually im learning every day to love myself that way when a guy comes along it will be a plus it's weird but i had to learn the hard way that first you gat to love your self in order for you not to accept whoever in your lifeâș
men dont fall in love this way. you cannot get to his heart from his dick. it needs to be the other way round. make sure he falls in love with your heart and soul and gets emotionally invested before sleeping with him.
I was in a fwb relationship and I fell in love and when it all come out, he was lying, I was a spare time piece and now Iâm crushed, devastated and broken.. DO NOT DO IT! I was wrong for being in that kind of relationship..
Did he ever come back ???
Your own stupidity, sorry.
Friends with benefits = One of the parties is using the other as a placeholder until they find what they really want
NO WAY! Its just a situation to get yourself used and then ghosted. Dumped like an old toy, really where is the "friend" in the whole thing anyway, the other person probably doesn't even care about you.
I deleted my tinder account đ„
truth
@D Goshay yep, sums it up UGH
Or call u only when they need some
Exactly! Friends don't set out to hurt you or see you hurt. I rather the term "sex partner". Nothing sugar coated there.
Nope..not doing it. I'm not built to hit it and walk away. I'm an intimacy junkie and friends with benefits is nothing but a mirage. 19 months into celibacy and honestly the peace of mind outweighs the urges.
You better say it!!
Tried it!!! Hated it!!! 7 months of hell!!
Me 4 years celibateđȘđȘ
Still somewhat learning this the hard way. I got it now! The longer I wait the more i see this to be the best way. The urges fade and my energy is spent more positively. And i can see so clearly bad intentions right away.
@Steve J honesty Im less lonely when I stear clear of this false sense of intimacy. It makes you more lonely because its like putting on a false persona. We all need a deeper connection than what it can offer
I think it sends a message to the other person you donât have self respect
That is true & a friends with benefits deal is not a good idea 4 a person that gonna get they emotions caught up in the middle of it & the female that happened 2 agree with it will b seen as a thot in other words a whore, with the friends with benefits deal theres no holding hands in public, no PDAs, no real love, both participants doing your own thing without being responsible 4 another person's feelings and all that will happen is having sex & have a good time but will never spend $ on 1 another nor r gonna help each other out when times get hard 4 nothing in the world another thing 2 participants that's in a Fwb deal dont talk about they problems or whole life story 2 each other that's y I look @ the Fwb deal 2 b a lose lose deal nobody wins once the other person catches feelings 4 another person even though the person might not feel the same way
Don't do it ladies. đ ââïžđ« he won't magically fall in love and change.
Some of them do. Iâve seen it with my friends
I did it in the past. I regret it even today
You're absolutely right and us ladies know deep down that we're hoping the guy will fall in love but it's always the women that catch the feelings and the guys don't care
@@jenelleshand7540 if you get lucky some of them do , some donât
@@HisaLight2mypath Some females donât care too. Iâve been there
The woman always get messed over in the end, the man moves on to the next victim.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Agree
@@MeetStephanSpeaks honestly, I've never seen a man messed up from this.
Saymyname Savanah not always true!! Guys get caught up and possessive!
Ive been damaged by sexual relationships that i wanted more from and i am a man, we have emotions just like women we just dont share as much but we should, holding everything inside makes us more weak and more damaged, we are supposed to feel emotions whether that is upset or happiness thats human nature.
Always on the lookout for someone better or someone who can do more, persisting to coldly dump after engaging in a sacred act. FWB is totally rooted in selfishness and arrogance.
Friends with benefits. ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! Tried it. Didnât end well at all. And now that Iâm going though my healing process with Christ I know Iâm worth being committed too.
Seldom ends well đ
Just the FWB proposal this guy made to me, made me doubt my self worth. You're strong.
Your so beautiful girl. You deserve to be someone's wife. Not some sex toy.
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Me too and caught feelings then 4 years later we dated fell in love Whatever for a year and a half ended not good. Never again
I was in a FWB situation for nearly 9yrs. We bonded after my father and his mother died in the same week.
I believe that I trauma bonded or mentally attached myself to him so I didn't have to feel the loss of my father. Now I'm grieving both.
Since my fwb called to tell me he met someone. He led me to believe he was emotionally unavailable. Incapable of sustaining a real relationship. Turns out it was me that he couldn't commit to.
The pain is raw and real. đ
How are you holding up today?
@@deljean I'm doing much better. Thank U so much 4 asking about me đ
Whoever is reading this know that you are deserving, you are enough, you are capable! Donât live up to other peopleâs standards.
Thank you đ
I needed to hear this
I donât do friends with benefits. Either weâre going to have a purpose or nothing at all.
FWB is emotionally damaging. Don't do it.
It's not if you can walk away. The mistake they make is doing it with someone they REALLY LIKE.
@@1Skorpia yup, I've made that mistake too. Never again. I rather stay single and alone then be FWB with a guy I really like but he isn't sure about me or doesn't want me. Oh well
skorpia g Thatâs a bit much,To walk away from Sumone appealing to u I honestly donât know how to just walk away especially When u have been out of the dating scene for so long,sometimes you feel hopeful that things will evolve into more,.
@@1Skorpia but why would you even do that lol!!!!
@@mamielee9040, walking away is simple. Take those two legs at the bottom of your body and use them to move in the opposite direction of the person you want to be with. Then take your thumb, use it to block their number from communicating with them. Last but not least, every single time you think of contacting them to yourself, FUCK THEM! You'll do just fine.
I would never do it again it destroyed my soul my mind everything it was all a lie ladies please please dont do it!!! Be with someone who loves you and generally cares about you. You deserve more! Take in what Stephan is saying hes spot on with this.
Iâm watching this and ALL of sudden my Tears come down
I want to find someone thatâs gone love me and thought friends would be good for me cause I havenât dated someone in years. Now Iâm all in my feelings emotions over this dude đ©
Iâm no longer a fan of âFriends w/Benefitsâ because itâs a recipe for disaster. It embodies the ultimate level of selfishness. It breeds drama and immaturity.
@Billy Times - Hey Bruh, if that works for you then cool.
Amen!
Yes....thank you Orlando!
No. I'm too clingy & end up wanting more & feeling used.
I'd get attached just from a kiss
My main reason is because Im the prize and I want more than intimate benefits. I want your retiremnet benefits, social security benefits, spousal benefits...so put a ring on it or Im keeping you in the friend zone periodttt! Thats all
I like that he mentioned if you deal with someone who doesn't want you, you are blocking someone who does. Keep that in mind. Also keep in mind, why you want a person who limits your growth with them?
I know someone (attractive, in her mid-40's, and was recently kinda "down" about being single still) who, for the past 5-6 years I've known her, has been saying she wants a relationship. Yet, I seem to hear more about her different FWB over that time frame. I don't understand how someone can say they want a relationship, yet they keep devoting time & energy to multiple casual sex engagements. Just seems like she's shooting herself in the foot.
I believe the energy you put out, you get back. If she keeps involving herself with emotionally unavailable guys, but wants something with substance, then maybe she's the one who's emotionally unavailable.
@@DJKBueno A lot of people need to work on themselves but won't and keep repeating the cycle over years and decades of their life!
I was a friend with benefits before my self esteem declined , not knowing my self worth I feel I settled for half a person due to wanting comfort from a man. Being a friend with benefits destroyed me inside and out questioned my worth asking myself why wonât he be my man when he lays down with me this and that day. Long story short breaking that soul tie as I write this comment. A little advice to the women out there wait on a man deserving of all the benefits not a part time lover.
Roger that. A soul tie formed for me as well and it was hell breaking loose from it. Going through it helped me TRULY understand sacredness of sex. No hard feelings about it but I move with much more wisdom now. I nned intimacy of spirit mind first. Im choosing not to be sexually intimate at this time and focus on more genuine and various ways to express intimacy and affection
bigjayking24 what is then?
@bigjayking24 i understand how your intepretation based on what I wrote..however it was a definite soul tie. I just didn't take time to get into the down and dirty and stayed surface. It was a karmic soul tie that had been carried over from multiple past lives that needs to be broken or else...ish would have continued repeating.
@@shutit4024 Trust me I know what I spoke. What's understood doesn't have to be explained.You got itâșđ
And don't fool yourself thinking...he's going to fall in love. He ain't!
I will never again get into another friends with benefits situation.
@G. C. đđđ
Friends with benefits is a narcissistic move. Don't do it!
Can agree more. Only narcassists want this . A genuine guy wouldnt want to hurt you .
You ainât lying đ€„
It sure is, thanks for this!! Will help me move on even more & its been 2 weeks since I heard from him but he loves to gloat on social media smdh.
Narcassit? Please do not use this word so loosely its serious genuine antisocial personalty disorder.
@@hybridangel3403 not using it loosely...I have delt first hand I know what it means and what it is to to interact with one. Everyone is not a narcissist...,traits are in most.
Friends with benefit is the doorway to losing a friend and heartache bc youâre both not being truthful about what you really want.
No, sometimes women except being a friend thinking it will lead into a monogamous relationship and it doesnât. Often times men use the word âFriendâ to get sex without a commitment. I think being a manâs friend with benefits blocks you from meeting a man that wants a committed relationship. Friends with benefits is just another way of saying âI want sex with no strings attached.â
Stylishheart101 yep
It also says I'm not responsible enough to be in a relationship with you or I don't want to for whatever reason. It would be a way for me to cheapen how I see myself.
More women need to say no.
Tamica Strong men too
@@oswaldofigueroa529 whoever it applies.
A âfriendâ only calling me when he needs sexual satisfaction? Hmm. Iâd have to decline that offer due to the fact that I have way more important things to do with my valuable time. Iâd advise this âfriendâ to contact his local escort. Ladies know your worth.
I'm worth great sex lol! Nothing wrong with casual sex. My worth is great I just dont invest in the losers. You can waste years waiting. I've done it. I got fed up . Tried casual sex and I'm much happier. Just dont do it with someone you really like and respect.
Sugar Mcdoodles donât worry youâll strictly just be called during late nights for some ass.. clown
Sugar Mcdoodles - ladies know your worth? You do know this goes both ways right ?
AMEN TO THAT!!!!! SET STANDARDS LADIES!!!!
@@1Skorpia Nice one...A beg why stress uaself
Smh... I did this for 1 year 1/2. It was one of the most confusing, emotional roller coaster ride not to mention hurtful experiences Iâve ever engaged in. Never again.
I totally agree đ
I'm sorry that it happened 2 u & I know u will get thru this but learn from this experience so that it dont happen ever in the future & take care of urself
First reason. If you fail in love. Your SCREWED! He ain't interested. Furthermore. He doesn't respect you.
Thanks for that reminder, the he doesnât respect me. Why would he then want a relationship with me later! Ouch
@@lorischellenberg3219 This should be Obvious my Darlings. Ladies...you need to Higher your expectations.
I would NEVER AGAIN be in a friends with benefits situationship ever again in life! LOL! Spent YEARS in a situation like this and Stephan is RIGHT on ALL accounts! I know for a FACT that this situationship blocked other REAL potential relationships because I was not fully available. DON'T DO IT PEOPLE!
NO I WOULD NEVER BE FRIENDS WIT BENEFITS, AND I DONT CARE IF HE đ¶ WALK AWAY BECAUSE HE GONNA LEAVE ANYWAY..
It's so true.... a fwb situation eventually has to come to an end...the more time two people spend with each other...the more likely one of them will catch feelings for the other...especially if that person is a relationship person
I tried it for 2 weeks and honestly it was as emotionally draining and I was betraying myself luckily I cut it off and moved on. Once again Stephan this is spot on.
Truly great information.... From my experience with "friends with benefits" I lied to myself saying I can handle it and that person married someone else....hurtful lesson....but I vowed never to put myself in that position.
You are not alone...đ
Same here! Lesson learned!
Agreed! Some people donât know that they are in a Friends with Benefits situation unless it is communicated up front but most times it is only communicated after the fact! Personally, I would not because of the confusion it may cause, the blocking of my blessings of being in an actual relationship, and the hurt that may stem from being involved physically with someone who sees me as no more than a friend.
@@katherineburse4518 ...not only that but your FWB partner may also be in FWB partner with others! You don't know what kind of diseases you are bringing into your life and you don't know how many additional soul ties you are creating
Iâm sorry âčïž
Anyone with the balls to ask you such a thing guaranteed they are in love with another person.
Yup
Thank you! This is a âswept under the carpetâ issue today but its so very detrimental and it really devalues people!
Friends with benefits is code for âI donât give a fuck about you but let me just use your body for my sexual satisfaction until I dispose you.â A person(especially a woman) who will allow this needs therapy cause someone who truly loves themselves will not let someone else treat them like this
I been there. It doesnât work out. Someone catches feels. In my case I did at first, but then I realized that it was just benefits for him. I prayed and asked God to give me the strength to walk away and He did. This guy called me several times again, but I said no. Itâs not worth it, just donât.
Stay strong.. God bless you đ
FWB- Allowing someone to use your body instead of them personally gratifying themselves. This is a dead end, non productive situation that will end in pain.
I can speak from personal experience that it always ends badly. Emotionally I believe you get stuck in a rut.
Great video Stephan.
I think it works in certain cases where you're not ready to give your heart to anyone. It's more stress free than a relationship most times, I actually think it's also helps you to get your mind off the other person and the nonsense they did to u
Well thats a good point though
Exactly
Yeah but you donât heal correctly
Thatâs called a rebound
I can't be friends with benefits I get attached and the other person doesn't and I end up hurt.
No because the true benefits of friendship are compassion, understanding and support and that's not what a bunk buddy is offering. You're not friends and there are no benefits. Just sex.
Yes Guys can give those things. Women act a wreck . I dont. I have guy friends that I call. However I want no part in a longterm romantic relationship because they would drive me crazy.
I was at a point where friends with benefits was ok for me but as of mid 2019 I have come to find out I want more but I need to stay single to focus on me and my relationship with God until He sees Iâm ready.
We all are born with a certain amount of time here on Earth. With that being said I refuse to waste what time I've been blessed with on what we'll end up in a dead-end mess. Anybody reading this we are worth more much more. Believe in yourself and know that you are worthy of a loving and healthy relationshipâ
I've been in FWB and we both mutually agreed. Enjoyed our time. Ended when we were done. I was younger. Wasn't looking for a committed relationship. I knew what I wanted.
FWB was what He and I wanted / needed at that time, and when our time was up we went our seperate ways. We Communicated our expectations. We were "playing not planning."
Exactly why jump straight into a relationship with someone to build a life with them or date one at a time when you donât need too. You waste precious time just jumping into relationships.
Exactly! FWB only works when you know fully well that you aren't looking for a committed relationship for whatever reason. People tend to lie to themselves, fall in love and then get they're heart broke when the other person doesn't reciprocate those feelings.
Thank you đŻđŻit really is that simple. just communicate ,use protection, and have fun
Yes! Out of the 1000+ comments under this video where most condemn FwB, Iâm happy to see your comments here. Iâm with yâall. FwB is fine if thatâs what both people honestly want at that point in their lives. Yep, just communicate, use protection and enjoy it until one or both are ready to move on.
Just recently broke off a friends with benefits situation because I wss trying to heal myself through that from a past relationship it honestly made things much worse for me so that I def know is not for me
I fell for it coming from being separated from my husband and sexually neglected by my husband, so my friend of four years offered and i hesitated but accepted but now regret. I'm breaking it off. But he says he loves me but doesn't want a commitment so I'm moving on. After 2 years and 26 years of marriage I'm now cleaning house, cleaning out my closet and making room for my new future husband.
Fwb is not worth it. Love is real and it's nothing to play with. We say we love each other but we're not growing so its over.
My take on this is âabsolutely open to this kind of situationship.â I have had this in the past and it âserves itsâ purpose.â I have learned to set some reasonable and realistic boundaries to avoid any misunderstanding or possible hurt feelings. I can only speak for myself. I have found it to be both beneficial and positive experiences.
Nope! This was me in my early 20's with someone, unbeknownst to my prior understanding of what our situation was supposed to be. Someone always ends up hurt and unfortunately it was me.
đđ»ââïž I vote no to friends with benefits!
Sex confuses things, deeper than we even realize. There is an attachment that comes when we merge our bodies. I believe these to be what we know as soul ties.
And from personal experience, I can say yes that soul ties are a fact.
It is best that we function and make decisions with clarity and focus. Sex will blur those lines!!!
And I say this with confidence because I have made this mistake a few times and as I look back and reflect, I know I would have made better decisions with our relationship if sex wasnât involved. My feelings wouldnât be in it my responses to this man. Etc
AND my heart even hurts after wards because maybe that person was supposed to just be my friend and we were supposed to be able to help each other through something and learn something without sex. Or maybe it would have been a great friendship but sex ruined it. So many different things could have been different! So itâs always best to keep sex out of relationships all together....
I believe marriage is when sex should be involved and not before.
đđ»ââïžLadies, our future husbands deserve ALL of us. Not just a piece, because our flesh is weak. Our future husbands deserve us to fight the flesh for him. Ladies WE deserve that from him too!đ
And God can and will help us all through the struggle of fighting the flesh!đđŒ
Cassondra Jones which is the first reason I decided to be celibate until Iâm married. It causes way too much emotional that we may not even have control over after a while. Now Iâm on the walk to a more disciplined me and a healthy relationship đđŸ
Cassondra Jones Oh Yes!, I just Love your comment u broke it all the way down, I vote No! As well.
Neyloveâs Corner Good For You Girl!đđŒđđŒđđŒ I am proud of you sis!
It takes strength and courage to do that my friend! And Iâm so glad you decided to!đ„° Your marriage will be that much more blessed because of your sacrifice!đđŒ
Mamie Lee' Yes girl! We can be strong togetherâđœđ€đŒ WE got this!đȘđœ đđŒ God is good all the time! And all the time God is good!đ #teamnosextilmarriage
@@cassybeauti .
I totally agree with you. My husband passed away almost 18 years ago and it has been over 19 years since I have been physically intimate with anyone. Over a period of time, I decided I would save myself for my future husband which reinforced my decision to not engage in things like fwb.
Reason 4: You can catch a STD or become pregnant.
This could also happen in a traditional relationship
Your dad
THAT PART.
Thatâs an argument against sex not FWB
I got pregnant. Now I share a kid with someone who hates me because I got in a relationship with someone else. Guess he thought having a kid together meant we would be together.
This is my answer A: I like fwb because Iâm 45 and just donât want to be tied down. I like to love n leave as I please. I do however like to keep the same guy but I donât (sadly) care about who else HES doing as long as when Iâm ready I donât have to wait. Iâll answer B after I watch the video. Answer B: I listened to the whole video and for me Iâm still comfortable with my decision to just have fwb. Iâve had the same one over three years now and it works. We donât cupcake, we donât go out, we just come together and part ways. Is it love theređ€itâs something but I donât entertain it much neither does he. Heâs a cop and Iâm a busy mother, we distress each other and Iâm great with that! But overall you made some great points and if I feel the need to settle down Iâll implement some of your advice â€ïž
Leslie Lelaind - Your FwB relationship sounds like mine. Ideal. Iâm a busy single mom with a lot going on and I honestly just havenât had the bandwidth or desire for anything more. I ended it a few months ago though, only because Iâm starting to feel open to having a long-term relationship and I wanted to clear space for that. But it was a good thing where we were on the same page, and we still genuinely like and respect each other. Just wanted you to know that I appreciate your comment.
u are just having casual sex together, no intimacy, no connection, the guy is not your baby D...He's a cop & have a career & probably has other FWB, baby girl get you a whole life and stop letting dudes pounce on u like the toilet every time he has a urge 2 piss, Wow, it wont be long before he becomes invisible
Leslie, your comment is refreshing. I agree with both you and Steffan. It seems like a number of people watching these videos are under a certain age where life decisions havenât matured yet. Life is simply not black and white. Stay safe!
Luh nagsama mga baliw
Stephen Speaks you're totally Correct! No friends with benefits! I desire a commitment. I deserve a true relationship.
Exactly!!
Nooooo FWB.... someone may want just sex and the other person may want to be more than friends. Imbalance... Also being FWB could block the person who doesn't plan on wasting your time and knows what they want. Meanwhile you're wasting time with the FWB hoping it becomes more..... thank you Stephan! Great message as always!
It works for me and always have. Because serious relationships arenât for me or my lifestyle.
I just ended my almost 2 yrs of FWB today! I did think itâd get serious but it doesnât work . I just ended up getting hurt over and over. Canât blame everything on him either, I take full responsibility. Hopefully in the future we can be friends again. I wasnât even ready for a serious relationship. I learned alot from myself through this experience and what I donât want to repeat ever again. Healing begins today! 2020 will be a year to focus on me and my healing!
I personally could not do the fwb thing because Iâm emotional and that would be a no go for me. Feelings would get involved and that wouldnât be fair to either of us. Iâm waiting on the man that God has for me so Iâm not letting anything or anyone stray me from that. Iâll save all of that for marriage.
Iâm
Just broke off my FWB just the other day... itâs a no
Ms. BossLady do yâall be knowing better before hand and Just in denial?
S D I thought it wouldâve been more then kinda turned into this but I couldnât anymore.. got fed up đ€·đŸââïž
S D and n denial
If you never talk on the phone and barely text and only see them twice a month no dates no cuddling- it can be less damaging âŠ. Above all know thyself. I wasnât jaded but extremely busy taking care of my sick parent and child I could not give to a real relationship but had physical needs twice a month lol
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you â€ïž
Our lives not carved in stone and we do have sexual desires....my advice where a friend with benefit is concerned is to avoid getting attached at all cost or end it right away if you start catching feelings
Either you're in a "committed" sexual relationship or a "no commitment" sexual relationship...no such thing as FWB...with "REAL" friendship the "FRIENDSHIP" is the benefit!đ
I completely support your view. Awesome.
I've tried it willingly and unknowingly (like dating in hopes of something to progress) either way it hasn't work. Actually it has torn a hole in my heart I'm working hard to heal all the damage and pain. Ladies will never win at this approach. I want real love it's hard, very hard and holding on to hope and picking myself up is work. I pray I find real love it looks disparaging at times but the pain of "friends with benefits" is a pain I don't want anymore.
Say it again!!!! đđœđđœđđœ
It doesn't work period. And somebody's gonna get hurt at the end.
You are exactly right. FWB is damaging both spiritually and emotionally. I am in this type of situation now, and I hated. I have decided to end this dream and work on me. What's sad is I know better. I will no longer continue to lie to myself any longer. Thank you, Stephen this video was truly what I needed and just confirmed what I already knew in my heart and mind.
Under no circumstances would I ever be friends with benefits I know my worth and I know that I want a relationship that leads to marriage.
I have tried it. Not for me because I canât be with someone with out feelings getting involved. So the person that gets hurt is me.
I am exactly the same, but inhave learned a huge lesson and thats to have options, when you have options you have less pain and guilt when rejected. One person may seem interested for a while then they change but dont tell you anything and thats ok, they werent meant to be with you and it opened you up to the world again to find the person who will truly love you for who you are.
It also opens the door for cheating down the road. If one or both of the friends with benefits get into a relationship and then thereâs an argument with your significant other it makes it easy to fall in bed with your âfriendâ for temporary comfort. Donât do it!
Bingo!
My partner and I started as fwb. That lasted about 2 weeks. I initially went in thinking it was going to be physical only. We ended up falling for each other. I'm so in love with this man. I guess it worked for us, but....not everyone's cup of tea.
It's doubtful that he fell for you in return. That's where a woman's delusion set in
@@TheSolitary1 you're probably right. We are no longer together. He moved on pretty quick too.
Most relationships that starts on lust and s3x never last. Itâs built on sinking sand. People donât develop a true friendship they just hop into bed.
@@Bri-nc8yp definately learned my lesson
No way would that have worked, weak men want fwb. Hope your ok. â€
Thank you.. I've been divorced for 8 years after about 20 years of marriage.. friends with benefits would not be my choice.. there is to many emotions involved.. there is no way it would be a solid foundation for myself.. I'm worth more. đđđđđ„đ„đ„đ„
Amen đ€
@@dafnenoel9825 we are standing Champions. Keep your head up... I prophecy all is well in your life.. walk through the door..â€ïžâ€ïžđ§Ąđđ
@@standingchampionkt5344 ..exactly! Know your worth.
@@dafnenoel9825 i second that notion
I'm grateful there are still women that respect themselves
i feel like the friends with benefit arrangements defiles you before that relationship you're looking for. you'll miss out on what/who's actually meant for you. plus, when you do get that date and the conversation gets to the "when was the last time you..." I'm pretty sure most of us wouldn't want to have to answer "two days ago" or even "last week" đthat wouldn't be a good look. plus, the sex is not even satisfying because there's no actual connection - it's empty. it's like having chips for dinner ; it was good for a moment but now you're still hungry for much more substance
Violette Petals Why do people ask âwhen was the last timeâ on a date. Whoâs really going to tell the truth?! Chips for dinner đ
Perfectly said
So glad to see a video about this,recently a fella I met told me he was looking for a friend with benefits and that literally disgust me on a higher level and that's only because for me I can't nor will I ever have respect for my body or him if I let a man that wants that touch me.
Personally I'm looking for a long term relationship with love and not just lust,friends with benefits sounds dirty.
Multiple different sex partners in a friend's with benefits man or woman is extremely unsafe.
I was once in a fwb situation. I went into it with the intention of being FWB. However after some time I developed feelings. Since I knew what it was I tried to walk away. Now here is the definition of a soul tie....when you don't want anything more but can't end things, which happened on his end. That boy became a stalker of sorts, always calling and sending me pics. It took me a long time to get rid of him and still had to heal myself emotionally. It opens the door further for something to go wrong when you are spending a lot of time together thinking you are 'friends'. Keeping it đŻ, not a good day idea. Too risky! I don't wish heartbreak on anyone.
Also if you are someone that gets hurt easily or gets emotionally involved right away Iâll suggest to stay away..
Stds, Aids, Syphallis, most people don't use protection, I don't play them games, NO , I would not.
đŻđŻđŻ
đŻ
Saymyname Savanah also just have 1 friend with benefits and just make sure they donât have any stds
Nasty đ€ą... STDâs causes unhealthy stinky kitty đ .... You wonât be healthy if the right man comes along...
Married people and people in serious relationships are catching STDS too. Very scary!
Stephan is like that big wise brother I wish I have. Thank you for the most realistic and best advice!
This is so true. I just got out of one and as much as it hurts I know it was unhealthy. And it prevented me from making myself available for a good guy. Because no matter how little futur you have with your fwb, you can't help but invest a lot of time and energy in this relationship.
Friends with Benefits-
DOES NOT WORK FOR ME.
ME EITHER!!!!
Don't work for me either!!!! #Realtruth
It worked but she's gone now, we work it out and turn to a romantic relationship but we broke up last year
Not gone act holier then thou I have in the past but would not at the stage of life I am in now. All the reasons you gave true and usually the only benefit is sex and you not really friends because once the sex stop everything stop
Yes
Sure way to get ghosted and never see or hear from the person again.
@@sharlenetigchelaar1670 ...wow
@@lyndapeoples8127 ?
Agreed
Tried FWB situation. It didn't work out well for me. I ended up catching feeling and my friend didnt. Which meant for me more broken heartache and broken spirits. Never will I settle for FWBs again.
He was not your friend
I was in a fwb situation and yes your right I was the one that was lying. I didnât like being alone. But it does go back to being comfortable in your own skin. Loving God and yourself. I had a lot of issues. I didnât know my self worth. And he was my glass of wine so to speak
I would NEVER do a friends with benefits situation, because my emotions will get caught up. How can people have sex with someone without an emotional connection?
Easy. For me anyway, They look hot and you want to screw their brains outđ
@@1SkorpiaSMH
@@rubysundae134 đđđ
Lady Jay if the person is ugly.. it can work
@@shutit4024 SMH
SO TIMELY!! I recently ended a relationship because he didn't believe in monogamy. đ I considered FWB because the chemistry made it hard to navigate the friendzone. So glad it didn't happen and I didn't settle!! I miss him but not the distrust issues. Self love is the key! I know my true KING will be revealed.
Iâve been dating him for 8months and had no idea we were in a friends with benefits situation. He cooks for me, flowers for no reason, talk text every day, dates, regular sleep overs, always available to me whenever I call or text. Spends so much time together. But whenever the conversation came up about commitment itâs an issue. First it was he likes to naturally see how things go and now that Iâve requested a direct answer he had admitted he never wants a relationship. Iâm heartbroken because I really thought we were on the same page đ„ș
I feel you in this situation, hard lessons, I bring heart soreness back to wonderful self care, redirect all that love into healing and deepening your path, eyes open! going forward be brave with honest conversations so you know you are âbuildingâ together, check in, the right man for you will love and respect your strength, vulnerability and courage. Aroha x
đ„đąđ
Im in a friend wit benefits n it was a rollercoaster at first but we set boundes n im loving it...n he loves me n I love him
This doesnât sound like a friends with benefits relationship, you love each other
I don't agree with Friends With Benefits. But I had a toxic argument with a guy I thought we were working on a relationship. He said we had an 3yr arrangement ! WTF oh hell no poof he gone !
LOL!!! WOW!
I Definitely Would Not ever consider it Ever! I was involved with a man which started off he was a friend, but turned into Friends with Benefits and I Didnât know it. I Believed in my mind we was evolving into a relationship, it was just my imagination, running đđœââïž away with me. It never became a relationship and I was the one hurt in the end, Never again.
I was in a friends with benefits situation for 2 years. Hoping that it would turn into more. He started treating it as tho we were starting a relationship and then all of a sudden he just wanted to end everything.
No, I just ended things with my ex lover. I did go into it thinking that maybe him and I could become more. Itâs not worth it, I rather be with someone the right way.
I think this type of relationship is not healthy. It is very easy to get in but hard to get out .
Easy for me. Hard for most women. Usually the romantic /emotional ones
skorpia g i agree with you. In rare cases fwb can go well meaning. The woman does not get attached she is very aware that this type of relationship is just casual!!!!! And thats it. It just depends on the mindframe of the woman. Just my thoughts
So true..I want out but it's so hard to let go.
Sabrina Jacobs same
It's a bad idea, that's how soulties is formed.
@bigjayking24 Soulties are true! You yourself probably experience it, why you can't let someone go knowing that they bring nothing good into your life yet you continue to be with them, sex is bonding!! Two become one
Being friends with benefits is very damaging. Feelings get involved and there's never a clear understanding.
1. Someone is lying
2. You are blocking your ability to receive the person who is ready for you / you're taking youself off the market
3. You're running from your issues
I got caught up in that. I was cool with it at first but after it went past a few weeks of it, I started feeling for him. One year later, I asked him about a relationship and, of course, he said thatâs never what this was.
He was right..I just naturally fell for him I guess. Didnât intend to catch feelings. Ended up being hurt when he rejected me. BUT your videos have helped me understand what happened and I am okay with the results.
I'm feeling this. I'm caught up now with a guy who literally told me (in bed) that he loved me, asked me to say it back (during stuff) and then ended with him saying he's falling for me. Since then, I'm getting excuses as to why he can't come see me. I'm getting 12-18hrs of silence between texts some days, and as soon as I get all fired up about it, he'll text with "Hi :)" and ask about my day or how I'm doing. He won't engage in conversation about anything too personal on his end or mine. When he shares something about himself, like his musical talent, and I express excitement/appreciation, it makes him happy to play songs for me and sing. He'll text me that he misses me. Then will go into sexual comments about what he's missing. If we're on the phone, which is rare, he'll tell me how much he has missed my voice and wants to come see me soon. Plans fall through or get ignored, not brought up again. I'm left waiting for a call, he won't call. I conversate over text, he'll leave me hanging for hours then reply with "hey, whatcha doing?" and never respond to my previous texts. It's so emotionally draining. Especially since there was an intense connection.
I actually experienced this some years ago and it was cool (so I thought lol) no attachment, no feelings, no strings...You do your thing, I do my thing! Lol but eventually a bond developed and things got very confusing and misconstrued...Not to mention the sex was amazing!! Lol I still think about it to this day!!! Lolll It lasted for 5 years before I had to end it because I was pulled in so many directions, my heart was on an emotional rollercoaster and I felt like a sex toy loll Please sir, Please maâam, donât do it!!!! Everyone deserves true happiness and a relationship that is real and authentic!!!!
Wowđ«
5 years..... Dude
Was your friends with benefits a man?
@@monasgay men donât do friends with benefits. Thereâs no pretending to even be friends⊠most of the time they donât even know the person name. It usually goes find the person on grinder or the gay club/the gym make eye contact go back to someoneâs place have sex then leave and never see that person again. Sometimes they block your number or your profile page before you even have a chance to close their door on your way out. What gay men do is even worse and much more colder than friends with benefits âŠ
But then what do you expect⊠men are detached sexually a lot of times from s3x so imagine if itâs two dudes? Thatâs how gay men have much more higher sexual partners than straight men.
Friends with benefits is the straight manâs way of getting as close as possible to what gay men are able to do every weekend.
Wow...very insightful... thank you!
âOne person always wants more â smh so true, someone always get hurt in the end.
Absolutely NOT! I value myself (and my body) more than being considered as something that is here just to pleasure another person. And, as a side note, it would be difficult to be âfriendsâ after physical boundaries have been crossed. My Vote is NO WAY!!