Grief Expert on Death: How to Cope.
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- čas přidán 8. 03. 2021
- A clip from my Under The Skin podcast with grief expert David Kessler.
David is a death and grieving expert and author of many books including - The Needs of the Dying: A Guide for Bringing Hope, Comfort, and Love to Life’s Final Chapter and Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief.
For more information on David’s work or if you would like some support around grief or bereavement go to grief.com
Go to Luminary where you can listen to the rest of this podcast and my Under The Skin podcast to hear from guests including #JonathanHaidt, #JordanPeterson, #Naomi Klein, #KehindeAndrews, #AdamCurtis and #VandanaShiva.
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Produced by Jenny May Finn
LOVE THIS--- "how long are you going to grieve someone who is dead?" "well... how long are they going to be dead?" FUCKING ON POINT. THANK YOU.
“Speak to people in a way that if they died the next day, you’d be satisfied with the last thing you said to them.” 🙏🏽
👆I need to put that on my wall!
Well ICEcold, this warmed my heart.
SWEET! Words to live by!🙏💪👍
@@katewizer2736 So do I.
Do your best to be compassionate 💜 But remember... shit happens, people have bad days. Even if you didn’t always get along and your words weren’t always kind, don’t destroy yourself with regret. No relationship is perfect. They weren’t and you aren’t. Don’t put the dead on pedestals and blame yourself for every hurtful thing ever said or done between you. Bet they wouldn’t want that.
Alot of people grieving here, including myself, sending love to all of you.
To you too. For me it feels like I have a hole in my heart.
Somehow, I have to remember how we are not alone. Struggling with grief every day.
Thank you, and to you.
Yeah man I was supposed to see a dying family member today but she sadly died yesterday, just found out, really a shock, it has only been 3 weeks since she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and now she’s gone, she used to do my hair, best hair dresser I knew, I’m gonna miss her bright light personality, I didn’t even get to say goodbye…
Yeah man I was supposed to see a dying family member today but she sadly died yesterday, just found out, really a shock, it has only been 3 weeks since she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and now she’s gone, she used to do my hair, best hair dresser I knew, I’m gonna miss her bright light personality, I didn’t even get to say goodbye…
Here's a quote by Jamie Anderson (apparently a Dr. Who novelist) for those who grieve:
"Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go."
thank you. i needed to hear that. it is actually incredably true.
Very true x
Give it to those who are still alive
This made me cry just reading it because it’s so true.
Good one!
I lost my 10 year old son to a brain tumour just last year and his mum, my partner to cancer 3 years before that. I’m currently riding this grieving experience with front row seats. I find it both a painful and joyous experience when confronting grief head on as I do now on a regular basis. I look forward to listening the the whole episode. Thankyou :)
Ty for sharing,my son drowned at 15. Just hearing others stories seemed to help me somehow.
Sorry to hear that Stephen and Biddeh, sending prayers to your family 🙏🏽
I'm late 30's and don't have any children. Forgetting how ready and eager I am, I'm single for the first time in 20 years during a Pandemic. I can't adopt either.
None the less, I'm at an age to be 'most likely' of something, I'm sure of it.
Bloody hell my friend that is a lot to deal with ..I’m sorry ..🙏🏼🙏🏼
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My father died the day before Christmas, I missed his call a few hours before and wonder everyday what he was going to say...I miss you Dad
I'm so sorry for your loss - hope you are doing ok. Sending much love.
@@clarke5479 My brother died very recently. I am in agony over my regrets regarding my distance from him at that time. I wish you the best in your healing. Nick Cave has a lovely conversation about death, he lost his son tragically and suddenly.
I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤️
I watched my Father die two days ago and I am haunted by the life living his body. The change in his features after he died is causing me to feel detached and traumatised. I don't know how to deal with this. I sometimes wonder if I should have left the room but I didn't want to leave him alone even if he was unconscious
@@Insp.CountMortisWinshipKlaw I had stayed a week with him months before after not seeing him for a long time and it was shocking to see he aged so much, but after talking he was exactly who I remembered
I wish I had stayed I didn't know that's be the last time we spent time together almost crying thinking about it
But he looked at peace and better in his casket, I kissed his head an said goodbye
Remember, do you think your father would want his death to haunt you? Of course not, he wouldn't want you to blame yourself for anything either
Don't make his memories into demons he wouldn't want that, stay strong
It gets better you will smile when you remember them and there's always something that reminds you of them every day.
that's right. totally true
It's been ten years and I still feel pain when I think if my grandparents' death... They were the ones who raised me and they died painful deaths of cancer, alzheimer and diabetes... Some things just don't get better with time bit require professional trauma therapy
I hear People say that so often - I still don't see that Light yet. The Heartache is always there - sometimes hidden for a short while - but it always pops up again.
Much love bra
I wish I could say your philosophy worked for me. I lost my mom, dad and Son . In that order. My mom has been gone 30 years dad 28 years and my Son 25 years ago. I’ve never gotten through loosing any of them. I wish I could ( I truly do ) I’ve been in professional counseling and I’m still not over any of them . I don’t set around and cry every day. I have had all along a full time Job. But I certainly don’t have the zest of life I once had. I keep trying but the trauma and grief that goes along with my loss at times is unbelievable still .....
The love of my life just died. I never imagined the world without him in it. I don't know how to breathe without him. I don't know how to go on without him.
Nothing I say will make you feel better,but I just wanted to tell you I have been through the same and the pain will leave you in time.much lovex
@@ruthpenny7988 thank you
Knowing it's NOT knowing & being okay with that. ❤️
@@KammeO thank you
@@moongoddessmassage You are most welcome.
eMoTiOnS are WeAtHeR... I'm pretty sure bReAtHiNg is automatic on purpose.
Tide in, tide out ☯️
bReAtHiNg DEEP on purpose helps eXhaLe ___.
The communication & interaction changes, but the ♥️ is Eternal.
God's plan = along for the eXperiNce of PeRcEpTiOnS.
✝️ I dont worry about where I'm going when I die anymore just looking forward to seeing them again🙂
True, however they are discussing about the journey (life) rather than the destination (post death), surfing the wave of agony and heart break is harder than just being dead.. anyways yes we have all lost a lot In life to really feel pain/numb anymore.
I am not worried about where my child is but I still suffer from grief.
@@Jennifer-1724 i put this statement up to show the final stages of grief when you start to accept what is and that this is the reality now.took me about 5 yrs. Before it wasn't overwhelming.Sry. for your loss and pray we all recieve God's infinite mercy
@@daryl5219 Thank you. Without Jesus I am would not have a sound mind.
And we will see them again if not life wouldn’t make any sense. Praying for all those that have lost a loved one
"Anything you lose comes round in another form" - Rumi
Believe it, you'll feel it.
My father died of Covid, a healthy active man at the age of 68. He had no underlying issues. I loved him with all my heart. The pain is confounded by the fact we cannot do anything and are trapped in our homes with our thoughts. I miss him so much and there is no support out there.
Whoever is reading this
May all your dreams come true 🤗
I hope the same for you too.
June 16, 2017 my son died in a motorcycle accident. Within 6 months his brother died from (fentanyl) Overdose. Grief is different for everyone. I don’t want to hear how brave or strong I am. So far, I am just taking the next breath, the next step. I probably make some people uncomfortable, but if I find something reminds me off them, especially the funny stuff, I will talk about them. Those guys were hilarious at times, when they weren’t really pissing me off. I cry at the sight of peeps (those silly little sugar coated marshmallow chicks), and occasionally flannel shirts. What a great discussion, and I am so sorry for your guest’s loss of his son. I do understand.
I agree about the strong part..I think it can make ppl feel pressured to move on and also perhaps u and others don't care about looking strong, ud rather have ur loved ones back ,I'm very sorry for ur loss 😢
Thankyou for talking about them . It really does help others too . They had an impact and love is expressed . Death wasn't really discussed by the older generation in my life but they had to experience it just the same , I didn't want to upset my Nanna but desperately wanted to talk about my pop or the loss of her baby daughter before I was born . My mother and I talked about pop her dad . Nanna passed away a year and a half a go . Think I'm trying to say I just wish we had talked more openly about deep feelings ..
What were their ages?
@@addamz3277 my son on the motorcycle was 30, yesterday would have been his 36th birthday. My youngest son was 26 at the time.
What a kind hearted being, who lost his son and wants to help others too
It's weird when the death is sudden, and the person is young, it hits different. Just lost a friend last month like that, it made me reflect, tomorrow is so uncertain, it could be any of us at any time really. I'm ready for it whenever its my turn.
Going to a friend funeral today
@@BloomingBriars 🌹♥️
@@camilawenger I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you loved, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer.
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number +17866326441, or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.
I had both of those lost my eight year old tragic, found him. I have suffered some grief in my life so far nothing compares. I hope I never have the grief of a kid on drugs or things like that.
@@ChrisJohnson-lh9qb ‘life goes on, because death is inevitable’ that is not the same when you lose your child. Your not suppose to lose your child. That does not help at all.
I lost my dad to covid on January.
He took really good care of himself and practiced all the prevention measures, it didn't matter at all.
Due to the situation in my country, me and my sisters couldn't see him after he was off to a made-up-hospital for covid patients, nor we could talk to him on the phone.
We so were so dettached from him while he was suffering and sick, eventually dying while intubated.
As he died, we felt so far away from him, and that is a nightmare we carry on with us everyday.
Everything still haunts me and my sisters.
Thank you for this, any help dealing with grief is cherished and highly appreciated.
Stay safe everyone and Love deeply.
Take Care.
Your grief has particularly difficult aspects for you to work through-I am so deeply sorry. Keep doing the work because there are people who need you. Your father was loved, and he knew he was loved. He loved you back, and you know he loved you-I hope you can find some solace in that confidence. Sending you all prayers of peace and comfort.
♥️♥️
I lost my dad to Covid as well and our experience was very similar. It’s been almost a year, he got it 1week after Easter and then died in May. He was a healthy cool old guy and I love and miss him terribly. I’m sorry for your loss
😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪
For those who believe in an afterlife, there's no such thing as death, just transition to the next life until we join them. Relationships continue spiritually after "death" from this world.
Ditto
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I believe in eternal reincarnation. The only thing we take into the next life is subconscious wisdom. We do see our loved one's in the next life, just not as the same people we knew in the previous life. We may see them as strangers in fact, but we will know subconsciously.
"there is no death, just a change of worlds" - Native American proverb
That’s a delusion because you can’t know that relationships continue. How would they continue if you don’t take your memories stored in your physical brain with you, after death? Sounds like wishful thinking
My dad passed away 2 weeks ago, he was on life support for a week after breaking his neck after falling down a flight of stairs and going into cardiac arrest for 30 minutes. I miss him so much and I can’t stop thinking about him. He was always showing he loved me unconditionally unlike anyone else and I don’t know what to do anymore, I miss him so much
Hope you're doing okay Steph. Just lost my gran and the pain is unreal
I'm really sorry
i feel this pain now
Yeah man I was supposed to see a dying family member today but she sadly died yesterday, just found out, really a shock, it has only been 3 weeks since she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and now she’s gone, she used to do my hair, best hair dresser I knew, I’m gonna miss her bright light personality, I didn’t even get to say goodbye…
Letting go is the hardest part of learning how to love properly and unconditionally. The Spirit is Infinite, but the Body is Finite. To have is to hold, to hold is to lose, to lose is to let go. It’s the only way to truly win. Hold no I’ll will, hold no contempt. We all go the way of our Ancestors. Remember this, when we say goodbye to a loved one, our Ancestors are saying hello. Set the Spirit free and just learn to Flow, be like water my friend. I know it’s easier said then done.
Beautiful
I love the Ancestors part. Thank you
"Anticipatory Grief", I struggle with this and never knew it had a name. I always thought I was alone in struggling to fight off the hovering feeling of bracing myself for the inevitable and enjoying the good moments.
.
.
Grieving with sadness can eventually shift to grieving with love *noted*✍🏿
When we lose that first person that means a lot to us, it drives it home that there's going to be more loss in the future, because the older we get the more of the people around us are going to die, it's just the first of many, so we'd better get good at sucking up the grief and moving on. Easier said than done.
So much easier said than done
Love and grief are a package deal here on earth 💯 It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved before. Having lost my Dad who brought me up alone when I was 19, I agree. I am studying to become a grief and bereavement therapist at the moment. 💗
I suddenly lost both of my younger brothers (and thus, all of my siblings) 9 months ago.
My God, have I learned a lot in that time.
It is truly a harrowing and incredible experience to go through, and as much as I would not wish it on my greatest enemy, I realize that my enemy and I will one day be united in it, regardless of my wishes or not.
It makes me feel as though nothing I experienced prior to this was really real, because I was surely sleepwalking through life in a whimsical, idealistic manner prior to this. Now I know that people die. Horrific, unimaginable things happen to good people - bad things happen to people. Things happen to people. I spent the first 6 months tearing myself apart at the seams, trying to understand the reality that I had absolutely no control over the situation, there was nothing I could have done in this timeline to stop it, and there aren't "infinite timelines" there is only this timeline, and this is what happened. At around the 7 month mark, the mind switched over into magical thinking - my exhausted and traumatized brain tricking myself into believing it didn't happen. 50 times a day I had to tell myself that it very much happened. Another 50 times a day I had to tell myself that no human has ever risen from the dead - my brothers will not defy all logic and science and come back to life. Things that you know better than anything, but the traumatized brain really does some interesting things.
Here at 9 months, I can't even say that it has been a 100% negative experience. Yes, it's the worst and most unimaginable pain I have ever gone through, and yes, I will never get over it. But I have never felt less alone and more human. My heart has been broken but it has also grown so much larger. And I have heard many times throughout my life that when you give birth, you start to see adults as babies (in an empathetic way). My experience with such a loss is that I start to see everyone around me as someone in grief or someone who will grieve. My brothers never had to grieve, and I am envious of them, because it is a pain that cannot in any human language be properly conveyed or transmitted. But it is indeed human. The most human feeling I've felt.
In early grief, we are afraid because no one can ever understand what we are feeling.
But now I can see that they just don't understand yet. And when they do, those of us who grieve will be there for them, as they have been there for me, speaking a language only we can speak, with a level of humanity you can only know having gone through it.
You just described in words what I am going through at the moment. It is unlike anything I have experienced and I don’t know if I will ever come out of it. But I do want to be there for others I know when they go through grief and provide the support they need.
You are such a beautiful soul for the way you put these words together. I lost my beautiful, wonderful amazing soulmate of a mother 2 months ago.. and I am broken beyond belief. She was my world and still had so much to live for as with your brother. I am so sorry for your loss. What to you find solace in? how is your heart now? Big virtual hugs your way
I'm sorry for your losses. That must be heartbreaking. May I ask how you lost both brothers at once?
@@miaj5118 They OD'd on fentanyl together.
I'm sorry for your loss. Your words are powerful and you've helped me. Thank you.
Russell I enjoy listening to you. your topics and your philosophy are right on. Tomorrow I start my grief counseling. My wife passed away last month. She passed away from pancreatic cancer. There's another aspect to grieving. Which is guilt that you couldn't do more to stop it. We only found out about a month prior. We talked a lot , cried a lot her faith and inner strength never wavered. I was a mess. She died in my arms where she wanted to be. I miss her dearly. It helps knowing that I'm not alone in my grieving.
Thank you so much for sharing and caring Russell.
God bless every single person on this thread. Cover them with comfort & love. Amen. 🙏🏻❤
I lost my husband to cancer in March 2019, after 3 years of caring for him and loving each other deeply. He was only 36 years old and he passed just days before his 37th birthday. I was only 33. I thought we would have a whole life together. Grief isn't just for the person you lost but a whole life imagined. It really messes with your expectations. You grieve the loss of those as well. I met so many young widows before my husband had passed and saw how different grief was for each of them. I'd tried to predict how I would feel but you truly can't know until you're in it. Grief is painful and personal and, because of that, often isolating. But seeing things like this surface when grieving helps to feel understood. Our pain feels like a taboo and many of us just want to talk freely about it.
You know, I am sorry for you. Theres' a saying someone once said to me when I went thru a bad time. When you laugh the world laughs with you. But when you cry. You do so alone...
Is true grief can make you want to isolate because you feel like no one understands and sometimes all you want to do is talk about your loved one who is not around anymore. My husband passed away unexpectedly six months ago and I don't want to be around "friends", I feel like the minute I talk about him they want to distract you or talk about something else.
It's our culture that can't face reality and accept death. Also a big problem with listening in general
You are not alone. Praying for you
My dad just died very suddenly and very quickly yesterday morning. My mom and dad and I all got Covid after Christmas. Mom and I had just gotten over it and dad was getting over it. He was telling us his back really hurt and mom and I were getting him back to bed and I think it was a blood clot. We called 911, they were at the house in 5 minutes but from the time we got him back to the bed, but not in it and the paramedics arrived at the house he stopped breathing. He went from talking to gone in 20 minutes. I’m still in shocked and god knows I’m trying to be strong for my 82 year old mom. It’s definitely one of the hardest things I’ve dealt with in my life. Thank you for this video. It helps.
I’ll never stop grieving my father, my grandparents, I’ll never stop grieving my mother and sister when they die. I feel I’m finally learning to accept grief, it’s the love I have for my lost loved ones, as long as that love has a home in my heart the grief will have a home too.
I lost my dad in September 2018 then I found my mum dead in bed on the 3rd of January 2021. It's absolutely awful losing both parents within 2 years
I'm greaving so badly.
I’m so sorry 😞 I can’t imagine how tough that must be. The fact that you’re currently surviving that grief is so damn inspiring. Much love.
I lost my dad March 2018 and Mother in June 2021. They both passed from cancer. I know the trauma! I am extremely sorry !!
@@crista466 I’m so sorry for your pain and loss. I lost my dear Dad on Friday, I was lucky to see him in July. He lived across the country, we were so very close. I’m so overwhelmed and finding everything to be a struggle. My Dad passed due to complications and my step mother is to blame for failing him amongst other things so I am angry, in fact I will never speak to her again. My Mom is battling Cancer now, life can be hard. How are you doing now? I wish you peace and love 💕
@@Speaktruthalways23 Don't be mad at your stepmother love🤗(virtual hug), forgive her please!!!! I was furious with my mother about my father and God presented me with a choice. I could have lost my mother sooner. I had the option to keep my painful grudge or see her at the hospital. At the time I did not know my mom was extremely sick. Seeing my mom in the position she was, I thank God that u chose to let it go. I end up supporting her 4 in a half years before she died of aggressive brain cancer. I end up being her Poa, dropping work for a few months to become her caretaker and covering my mother's funeral cost( made all the funeral arrangements with little to no help). The pain is "unimaginable" but I cherished every moment with her. Your pain is valid hun! I hate to sound redundant but life is short. My wisdom to is let it go, unforgiveness hurts you! It causes your vision to be blurred and it hardens your heart❤! As for me this grief is fresh, it's a battle! Sometimes I get a break other days in swinging! I will always love my mama! She gave me life and took care of me with everything she had. SHE WAS A FIGHTER!💯💯💕
Yeah man I was supposed to see a dying family member today but she sadly died yesterday, just found out, really a shock, it has only been 3 weeks since she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and now she’s gone, she used to do my hair, best hair dresser I knew, I’m gonna miss her bright light personality, I didn’t even get to say goodbye…
I came to 🌎 earth to Love ❤️ Thank you all for being a part of it! 😎
When I was grieving the transition of my brother someone told me, “We grieve so much, because we love so much,” and I wouldn’t trade that love for anything in the world. Weirdly, I feel closer to my brother now than I did when he was in Earthly body.
I was 23 with a 6 month old daughter when her father who I was with for 5 yrs suddenly passed.. It broke something in my brain. 11 yrs later and I'm still not even close to being right.
I can only admit this on a platform like this where the odds r that someone I know will never come across this. As far as anyone else is concern, "I'm fine."
I'm so sorry! I never lost anyone close to me until my mom died May 12th this year. It has really turned me around mentally. I hope things get better for you. I would love to give you someone to talk to, if you want
Oooh my heart goes out to you. I'm feeling the same way but my partner died 2yrs ago. Such a huge loss. Sending much love to you xx
Thank you for making this video. Right before the pandemic my dog died unexpectedly, who was an emotional support animal to me when my dad died of brain cancer at a young age in 2018. Life is pretty fleeting and I find myself just going through the motions.
❤️
I hope you got another dog. It will really help you heal. Get a different breed so it doesn't remind you so much of your old dog
@@shuaibkadir8657 Easy, cowboy.
I feel for your losses and understand how you are numb from the loss. I hope you find peace or at least some comfort. My oldest brother, who was the last person besides myself from my family growing up, passed away a little over two years ago and our rescue fur baby passed just 3 days ago. I only now realize how much emotional support she provided me, the grief is so hard. I was thinking back, and I've realized I've had several animals that were my emotional support animals over the years, but I think this one is hurting the most. I pray her soul will live on, as I pray mine will, and that we will someday be reunited.
sending you love
Most my family have been wiped out in the past 10 years, its been absolutely brutal 😭
Cherish family and friends that are close to you because you'll miss them when they're gone 😞
Sorry to hear about your family. I know the loss - I lost my twin who I spent my life with and we were estranged from family. It was brutal being alone. Yeah, cherish family if they're are there. They won't come around again. Mark
I think what they were getting at, was that if you didn't cherish them so much when they were alive, then you wouldn't miss them so much now.
The cherishing causes the missing, not vice versa. Failure to cherish leads to failure to miss them. Your advice is exactly wrong.
@@elinope4745 Yeah, I get it mate. I was responding the chaps loss above.
I hear you. Since 2011 I lost my brother mom dad best friend and my 8 dogs. The last 2 dogs, age 16 and 19, died within 3 weeks of each other. It’s been 2 months now since the last dog died. I hear what you’re saying. I miss each and every one of them! So very sorry for your losses.
Sorry to hear that. God bless you. 🙏
Strangely maybe, I've never felt grief for Human beings, including close family. Rather my reaction has been sadness, reflection on the times we may have spent together, but within a day or two, acceptance that life ends, and kind of like "You lucky so-and-so, you've got out of this madness that is the insane asylum we all live in, and you're not suffering any longer". But, on January 2nd 2021, my dog Bonnie passed away, just short of her 16th birthday, and it hit me like a truck!
No matter my understanding that lives end, no matter that I know she isn't suffering, no matter that I know how much I love her, and her me, nothing has cushioned the immensity of the raw, unending pain, and tears. It's gradually, slowly, getting a bit less raw, but I just accept and go along with how I feel emotionally from day to day.
what crazy timing. Lost a friend last night to addiction. Been struggling all day. :/
Find your trusted group and share as much as you can around the pain. Speak about your loss.
♥️♥️
So sorry to here .but there always with us
I lost my friend in Nov from addiction, I’ve been struggling for months... it feels,like it never ends. I’m sorry for your loss :(
@@tacobelle69 stay strong, friend.
Life can be very uncertain and fleetingly short.
"Concentrate on what you have to do. Fix your eyes on it. Remind yourself that your task is to be a good human being; remind yourself what nature demands of people. Then do it, without hesitation, and speak the truth as you see it. But with kindness. With humility. Without hypocrisy"
Marcus Aurelius
Anticipatory grief is very real. I experienced it over the course of almost a year when I watched my father slowly decline and pass from brain cancer at the age of 62. I was the one who was with him in the wee hours of the morning when he quietly slipped away. It changed me forever. It has been 7 years, and I still cry and relive the moment over and over in my mind.
I know you're pain. I've been there. Its part of the roller coaster ride called life. But we have to expand and rise above it. Best wishes.
I just lost my father to cancer.
He died at 4am on Good Friday. All his children were there. His brother, sister and wife.
I got to whisper the scriptures he loved into his ears, and prayed for him (he loved Jesus so much as I do) and his tears confirmed he heard me.
During the final prayer, my voice boomed around the room, I thought I was praying in a whisper, and I asked the Lord to come and take one of his sons home, on the Amen my father went to his eternal home.
It was beautiful, and it was a blessed death, but the sadness is still so real, so painful. He understood me. He knew me. No one else does, not like my Dad did.
Now i just feel angry and lonely. But SO much gratitude that I was there for him!
I am going through this now. I don't know how I am going to find the strength I need for this dark journey ahead
Thank you, I’ve been in recovery 36 years. A close friend of mine who’s been in recovery a number years just lost her 27-year-old son to fentanyl. This was helpful.
LOVED David!!! As a Psychotherapist, I find myself explaining that every person grieves differently and the 5 stages have been wrongly "overgeneralised"
Thank you David!!!
True hope and comfort are only found in Jesus Christ. The most important decision you will ever make is where you will spend eternity.
THIS IS GOD'S ONE AND ONLY WAY TO HEAVEN:
In the beginning, God created Adam and Eve and wanted to have perfect fellowship with them, but He gave them 1 rule to obey and that was not to eat of the tree in the middle of the garden called, "The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil"
Adam chose to disobey and sinned against God and this broke that perfect fellowship between man and his Creator. Because of this, the curse of sin and death came upon them and all the human race.
Romans 5:12 Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:
In order to enter into heaven, there are a few things you must understand. You must understand and acknowledge that YOU are a sinner and your sin separates you from God.
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
1John 1:8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
A holy, righteous God cannot allow sin into heaven. If God did not punish sin, He would be unjust because all sin must be punished. God's price for sin is death, not just a physical death, but death in hell in a lake of fire.
Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
In the Old Testament times, when man sinned, God required them to kill a perfect, spotless lamb and to sprinkle its blood on the altar as a sacrifice for their sins. Jesus Christ, God's Son became that perfect, spotless Lamb that was sacrificed for the sins of the whole world. It was His blood that satisfied the just demands of a holy God. God will not accept anything else.
John 1:29 The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him, and saith, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.
Jesus loved us so much He WILLINGLY came and allowed wicked men to spit on Him, mock Him and beat Him until He was unrecognizable. They stripped him naked, thrust a crown of thorns on His head and drove nails into His hands and feet. He hung in agony for hours bleeding. He died in our place so that we could be saved from going to hell. There is no greater love than that!
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
The good news is that Jesus didn't stay dead in the grave. He came back to life 3 days later just like He said He would. And that proved that He was God! No one else could do that.
Matthew 28:5 And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified.
6. He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay.
Jesus did all this because He wants to give you the free gift of eternal life in heaven with Him!
You cannot do anything to earn your own way into Heaven. You can't work for it, be baptized for it, go to church for it or try to be good enough for it. It is a free gift that God is offering to anyone who will simply receive it by faith.
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9. Not of works, lest any man should boast.
God said there is only one way to get to heaven, but it is not hard. You must admit you are a sinner and that you understand that the punishment for sin is eternal torment in hell in a lake of fire. You must understand that Jesus took that punishment for you when He died on the cross and shed His blood to pay for your sins and that He rose from the grave 3 days later. That is the gospel. If you believe these things, then all you have to do is humbly admit to God that you are a sinner deserving of hell, but you believe that he paid for your sins on the cross and rose again 3 days later. Ask him to forgive you and be merciful to you and give you eternal life. Thank Him for His saving you.
Romans 10:9 that if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
13. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Let me warn you though, that if you don't get saved, and you reject God's sacrifice for you, you are already condemned and will suffer the torment of burning in hell for eternity in a lake of fire where you will be forever separated from God and all that is loving and good. God is holy and you must come His way or no way.
John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
Revelation 20:15 And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.
Please don't wait. Don't take the risk of putting it off until another day, repent, turn to Christ NOW because you aren't guaranteed to live another day on this Earth. Believe God's Word and call on Him today!
Such a difficult, relevant concept. Thank you for being such a great resource 🙏🏽
Trueee cant wait for deathh
czcams.com/video/t15Loiev1uM/video.html
I just lost my Momma a cpl weeks ago. I have lost so many in my life, but this one is hitting hard. Thank you for this, I needed it. 💔❤
•HUG•❤
Yeah man I was supposed to see a dying family member today but she sadly died yesterday, just found out, really a shock, it has only been 3 weeks since she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and now she’s gone, she used to do my hair, best hair dresser I knew, I’m gonna miss her bright light personality, I didn’t even get to say goodbye…
Im a 48 year old veteran. I have fought anxiety,depressions etc, for years. In late December my grandpa died, and in January I sat with my only real friend and companion, my 11 year old White German shepherd/Briard dog Curts head in my lap. I looked into his beautiful brown eyes when the Vet put him down due to Cancer. The first week after my anxiety was over the top! The 2 most beautiful souls I have ever met were gone and I had no one to speak to. My Grandpa (A 93 year old WW2 Veteran) was an incredibly down-to-earth character, and we were grandson and grandpa but most of all dear friends. My dog was 11 years old and he saved my life with the unconditional love you only get in that special way from a dog. I suffered just as much when I lost my dog as when I lost my 2 best friends, a decade earlier. Its horrible to feel so empty and miss these beautiful Souls beyond words.
Wow. My dog I had for 14 years just died and you post this. Thank you. We all have to reconnect with the grief of loss. We have to be able to talk about death and loss and, yes, for people who can't be at funerals it is just atrocious, it should be illegal to have lockdowns apply to these important occasions.
💔🙏 i’m sorry for your loss. i found this bc i’m not grieving so well over the loss of my almost 14 yr old chihuahua. he was my baby, i’m so broken. sending you hugs and prayers of comfort and peace.
@@mommymarz thank you, kind soul. It has been very hard, I still feel her fur under my hand, I still wake up and cry remembering she is not here anymore... But I hope that one day I will be able to concentrate only on the good she brought in my life. She was my life companion. May she RIP and find an awesome new being to reincarnate into. I am sending you my love and compassion 💕
My beloved cat died the day this video was uploaded. I feel like Russell was born for this type of interaction. My heart hurts and I miss my boy, but I know I'll see him again when my own time comes.
I think this guy is really awesome❤️
“Promise me ill never be a bereaved parent” hit me in the core. I said almost the same thing but to the love of my life. 2.5 years off heroin and 49 days after we got married(on his birthday). He relapsed and passed while I was at work. I miss my husband so much
My girlfriend died 9 weeks ago. I'm struggling to deal with her loss in a way that doesn't destroy me. Thank you for this.
Much much love to you
Read the comments.
Sorry for your loss.
Love and grief are a packaged deal on earth….
I tend to go straight to depression and then that turns into a mix of anger and deep sadness. Currently in an anger phase, which feels wrong. I feel like I shouldn't be angry 😔
I don't know where the fuck I am but my problem is that I found out rather late in life that my parents were just assholes. My father died five days ago and I just found out he disowned me a year ago. Turns out he was dissappointed I didn't get my bacheor's degree, but I had gotten it and was too embarrassed to tell him because it took me twenty years to get it. I have tons of friends who never had any of this crazy shit with their parents, I am jealous of the people who grew up in the same chaos I did but still managed to become realized adults. That's pretty cool.
@@bingbongbang8895 that is horrible you were treated that way, it shouldn't have happened and I'm sorry it did, your comment really resonated with me. Congratulations on achieving your degree. I hope you know you are good enough just as you are. 💖
I think that on the emotional vibrational scale sadness is way lower than anger that’s why anger is easier
@@bingbongbang8895 There is hope in Jesus Christ. He loves you more than you could ever know. I pray my best friend's story will help you.
Precious Memories-By Sonya Lakey
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
This testimony has been made into a tract form as well, so if you or your church are interested in having them to pass out, please go to libertyfaith.net and you will find the contact info there. God bless!
Tribute to Ethan Lakey
czcams.com/video/EhobcQZ6Qb8/video.html
Thank You Russell and David for your kindness and compassion!
Love and grief are a package deal on Planet Earth. Wow. That really landed.
That's exactly what I learned while caretaking someone I love for a year before they died in my arms.
I wouldn't trade the love for the loss. With anyone. But that is the cosmic agreement I make with everything in my life everyday.
@@dhaliadestrange Beautiful.
Grief can be felt without death also.
Yes, like grieving the suffering that happens throughout the world.
Indeed. There is also ambiguous loss like from the result of a breakup or divorce.
I don't think it is on the level as death?
remembering the pain they went through is much worse than the pain of losing them, in my opinion.
Possible but I don't think that is the case for everyone. Definitely not me personally. A few minutes to die verses me two years. I get it though what you mean.
Thank you Russell and David :) My husband who was my best friend died June 30th, 2020 and then 4 months later our precious 6 year old dog died too. We had no children so they were my family. I had no other family members with me due to Covid as they all live in the UK and I live in Canada. I have never experienced such pain and fear in my life but I know without a doubt that there is no death and that they are still with me in spirit. I do see them in my dreams and feel them around. I live one day at a time and I have good days and bad days. I meditate and do creative things and spend time in nature. I also look forward to the day I too will pass and see everyone I love again. It is this knowledge that keeps me going. My condolences to all of you reading this who have lost those you love. My heart goes out to all of you.💖
Wow, in describing your journey through grief, you describe mine as well. God bless you. I hope your pain may be relieved and you find peace.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from ?
Thank you so much for your comment. I am feeling much better these days. I hope that you too are feeling peace and life is a bit easier now. @@stogiechomper
Thank you Chris. I am sorry to hear about your wife. I am feeling much better than I was when I wrote this. Time is healing. I hope you are feeling better too. @@ChrisJohnson-lh9qb
My stepdad died last night!.. Iam still trying to handle with all the emotions!....
I'm sorry for your loss stay strong 🖤
Take your time and allow yourself to properly process the loss. Cry as many tears as you need to as it's all a very necessary and natural part of mourning for those we've lost. Sending you love.
@@ugsskywatchermckenzie4319 Thank you!!
@@mariarossi6719 Thank you very much for your words!
♥️♥️
Great topic and insight. How to cope with the death of America should be a topic of discussion it would really help people.
@@johnboyjordan1915 use your imagination.
@@johnboyjordan1915 Alan Watts spoke about it. Search for the audio book CZcams. You'll not regret it...
@Aspen LUVR I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my roommate Joseph barged into the room out of nowhere, tripped, and fell over, breaking a glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now I don't know Joseph THAT well, don't even remember where he was from, but let's say I put my plans on hold to help him through his injuries.
Joseph had gotten a big glass shard in his eye, making him completely blind in that eye. He was walking around with one of those big cotton pads on his eye for a couple of months. Then suddenly, he disappeared, along with my girlfriend.
Apparently they'd bonded during the time after his injuries, and eloped together, leaving me behind without as much as a note. I tried to track them down, but never could.
In conclusion, if it hadn't been for Joe with his cotton eye, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?
Lost my dad yesterday due to Covid. I never imagined this would be so difficult. I am broken 💔. Miss him terribly. He was such a good father and role model to all of us.
I tried so hard not to think about my dad passing. He died. I never cried so hard in my life. He’s been gone a year now. He was in the first wave of death from covid. I still miss him. I still allow myself to cry. But I try to keep busy and positive. I have two stages. I miss him and cry. I stay busy and I love my family and friends. It proves out, it seems , that love conquers all.
The stages of grief have really shown themselves to me as just different shades of fear, it’s the ego throwing a tantrum that we are not in control of the indifferent chaos in our universe. This is what we can hope to “accept” from time to time.
🙂 thanks, for the tip
This man is so brave. I can’t even imagine what he’s had to go through. My heart genuinely felt so pulled to sadness listening to the loss he had to endure. Much much compassion to everyone here
I lost an 8 year old grandson, suddenly and unexpectedly. Because I helped take care of him, he had his own room and was more like my youngest son. That was in 2006, and I still cry at times. It is true that there is no time limit for grief. My biggest fear is burying another child, as I don’t think my heart can handle it.
I lost my 26 yr old daughter to an overdose. I have a son who struggles so much with depression I'm afraid he will give up soon. I truly think if something happens to him my body will crumble to pieces. Losing anyone you love is horrible. Losing a child or grandchildren is something no person should endure. I feel like it was and is my responsibility to fix my child. When you can't fix it you feel like a failure
My heart aches for you. You and your son are in my prayers.
My husband David died 3 months ago. Fatal arrhythmia in my family room. He had just made breakfast for our two young girls and the he was on the floor dying. I had to perform CPR until paramedics arrived. It sucks but I am still standing.
Russell…you aresuch a light in a dark world….how some people can’t feel that is beyond me. You are so transparent
After my mom died 3 years ago I learned grief for me has not been the intense knife of fire in the heart I thought it would be. Its like a nagging old sports injury but in my soul. Its a near constant presence to carry with you.
We dont lose anyone we love..they live on as we do...talk to them not like they are in the next room..but in the room with you..dont sanctify them..joke with them..cry to them..rage with them..love never dies...it just drops the heavy old body...we go on..2 babies talking in the womb...one says to the other...no one comes back from that doorway...then..they are born...❤
I lost my roommate during my freshmen year of college. Almost three years ago. It was a house fire. It was so sudden. I remember how unreal it felt and how that “in shock” feeling lasted for almost a year. One of the hardest things was how life around me just continued like nothing happened. I went to a rather small college at the time and yet, I didn’t hear from anyone about it. No administrators, no teachers, no peers. I had never felt this type of loneliness before. Even my family and friends underplayed what I was going through and underplayed how close I was to her. Even my boyfriend had said it wasn’t “normal” that I was having dreams about her and that I was still depressed by it even though at the time it hadn’t even been a year. I’m lucky enough cause I try to think of the good memories and how fortunate I was that the last time we saw each other was as perfect as it could have been. A day doesn’t go by when I don’t think about her.
…the sad part is, that I will probably end up loving you without you for much longer than I loved you when I knew you.
Some people might find that strange.
But the truth of it is that the amount of love you feel for someone and the impact they have on you as a person, is in no way relative to the amount of time you have known them.
Ranata Suzuki
I lost my roommate in college right after graduation. I felt like I was in a state of unreality too. I think because one day they are there, and the next day not. It makes you realize your own mortality, and how finite life is. The sadness that they won't get to experience all that you will in your life hits home. I hope you are doing better.
My father died 17 years ago and honestly I still have a very hard time with it. Since the age of 18 or 19 I cry every day
I realized grief is worse when you dont have a supportive community around you.
Support systems are absolutely essential. I didn't have a community when I lost my friend, either.
So sorry for you.
Oh yes that is very true. Problem is when the shit hits the fan, only then do you find out who you true friends actually are...(mine ran for the hills 😂)
@@svenkamog2232 I can relate 100%
@@svenkamog2232 Absolutely true!! Ghost town, except for the "friends" who just want to talk behind your back. As if things weren't hard enough.
“I’m scared of grief”, a very wise thing to say. At least physical wounds have a time frame healing, and you can do things to help it along. Grief is at times unimaginable, and at others, unsurvivable. I’m so sorry for each and everyone here who has experienced loss, and those who are currently living in grief…it is without a doubt the worst pain imaginable.
... my only advice in my experience is do not drink alcohol to self medicate your way out ... I personally found both therapy and professional medication limited to no effect ... exercise can help you ... running or a long walk in the forest ... I hear sitting in a forest is better than any medication or meditation ... go camping with some friends ....
This was a heavy one. Thank you both for sharing.
Lost my son to a meth addition. He would have been 34 years old three weeks after his transition. I realized I never knew pain until it knocked at my door at 4 AM on June 12, 2019. As a result, I am now completely in a different space, time, reality...and no longer with fear of not existing in the physical. But I must say, I still have my moments.
Lost my mom early January...grief is a bitch..I did reach out to a medium just days after her passing though, and that REALLY helped. As difficult as it’s been, it’s kind of prompted me on an interesting journey of the soul. I often wonder how the overall grief on the planet these days is affecting us, as even if we don’t have a personal loss, we are still all connected.
You reached out to a scam artist to help you grieve?
Oh Russell, you introspective beacon of love and understanding. You’re the best. I don’t personally know you, but thank you.
I feel like we need a part two of this interview. I want more perspective on grief from this guy
Russ.. Thank you so much for dealing with these important issues..
It's a weight too heavy to carry and yet there's many miles ahead of you. I'm losing my Dad tonight ... 93 yrs old ..no pain ..no disease. His batteries are drained.. he's just gone to sleep and will pass soon. We should all be so lucky.
Love you Dad.
Just lost my mum a month ago. The permanence of it makes your heart collapse. She's gone and I'll never see her again, or buy her a present. My whole world has changed. It's the loneliest feeling - and one of the few comforts is knowing it's almost a Rite of Passage. It's sobering and so painful. I wish I could speak to her so much.
Powerful conversation. I love the concept that we can't pick and choose our emotions. If you want love, you will inevitably experience grief.
Something people often don’t talk about with grief is helping someone close to you go through it. Some things that have worked for me:
- Let them know you’re there for them when they need you. Reinforce if that’s just to hang, someone to walk their dog, or eventually if they want to talk about things.
- Don’t try to force them to “talk it through” or “process their emotions” before they’re ready. If you encouraged them to come to you when ready, let them take that first step.
- Just listen when they are ready to talk about their grief. Cliche but true. Acknowledge their feelings, genuinely empathize with them like “I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” or “That sounds so unbelievably hard.” Give them a damn hug if they’re leaning close and crying.
- Don’t immediately share your own struggle with pain or grief. I know it seems helpful to relate but most people in those moments just want to be heard and supported. While you have similar stories, everyone experiences things differently. It can come across like you’re not caring as much about them or invalidating their feelings.
- Show them the joy, laughter, love, and other positive experiences they can still have with you and others. Don’t suddenly treat them largely different. Don’t pity them or walk on eggshells. They are experiencing grief but they are still a full human.
I know it can feel really uncomfortable when someone comes to you in crisis. Remember that you don’t have to fix them, just show them you care.
i lost my dog to seizures in July last year and still cry multiples times a day , my 9th of the month and Thursdays are out the window . Just hope i end up dead soon so its all over and i don't have to miss him anymore . Facts .
Please go seek some professional help...or talk to a friend.
Stay safe
At a young age I found myself serving as an end-of-life sherpa and witness. This has been an inexplicable trend throughout my life, and each experience has been profoundly spiritual. I don't know why I have been selected for this role so many times, but I consider it a great honor that I approach with reverence, gentleness, reassurance, and love.
Thankyou ✌️🌼🦋
Thank you Russ. I just buried my brother last week. I’m in a terrible state.Thank you for being you❤️😢
As an advanced grief and loss recovery expert, I appreciate any education that surfaces for people to grab hold of. Covid has been especially cruel in how revealing it's been on that front. Many are grieving and have no real understanding that they are experiencing loss. Not in the traditional sense of the acute pain that accompanies the death of a loved one but all of the intangible losses they are experiencing. Loss of value, self worth, safety. The same emotional turmoil surfaces when we experience those losses as well. Loss is cumulative and it's cumulatively negative. We've been cruelly conditioned by the world to 1. not feel bad, 2. Replace the Loss, 3. Grieve Alone, 4. Just give it time, 5. Be strong for others and last 6. Keep busy. Unfortunately none of that serves any real purpose and don't help in the least. Keep bringing light to a suffering world Russel, it's so in need of all the help it can get at the moment.
Thank you
COVID was, and still is, a joke. The numbers were b.s. and it's sad that so many people were lied to about how their love ones actually passed
I so wish there would have been more of this interview. I lost my son in December 2020, I really needed and wanted to hear more:-(
@Russell Brand scam
Praying for you
Linda, check him out. He did a podcast with Brene Brown, his books are wonderful, and his interviews on CZcams are fantastic. I’m so sorry about your son. It’s nonsensical to lose a child. Thinking of you.
You can listen to the whole interview, I think it's on Luminary? You get the first week/ month free so you can cancel after you have listened to this.
I lost my daughter Dec 2020 as well. Sorry for your loss
Ive just lost my father ..he was my hero and a great father ...i dont seem to have any control over my greifing...and many nights i cry myself to sleep ..into my dreams and cry my way out of them . 💔 i thought i was centered and knew myself . I will endeavour to live with the loss but wont get over it ...substances are just not cutting it and do not numb me to my grieving.
Lost my doggie a week ago and was searching for grief releases and coping videos. Love you Russell thanks for your videos. I did the same thing with my dog, tried to imagine her death what it would be like. But as much as I’ve done that it somehow feels nothing like dealing with the actual reality of it. I’m a person who loves very profoundly and the loss I’ve experienced is also profound.
Life is Journey...when you go through some obstacles,they shape you in such a way that you understand how to deal with certain things because what is lacking sometimes it understanding.
So you need to allow yourself to go through it that is why I think grieving it alright. Don't find an escape but face it!
Thank you, I lost my youngest brother last month and it is overwhelming, drowning in waves of sorrow.
My dearest younger sister passed last sunday, ive have a very salty face of late. I feel the pain with you.👉❤
Lost my big brother in November 2020 out of the blue! It's so hart breaking ;(
@@gdaymate7316 I'm so sorry for your loss.
@@sqwidink1 I'm so sorry for your loss.
Much love AprilMay.
What I'm finding as I grieve the loss of my husband over the past year and a half is that there really is no progression at all--it's more like being on the ocean: the feelings of pain, anger, loss, exhaustion, even gratitude for the time we had, just come and go in pulsing, swirling waves. I can find myself singing along happily to a song on the radio and then sobbing uncontrollably when I get home. I never know if something that reminds me of him will make me smile or laugh or weep. The only thing I know so far is that pain is every bit as awful as I was afraid it would be, but I am also much stronger than I ever knew.
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from.?
When this one first aired 2 years ago my life was very different. I had a wife/soul mate who has since passed on. For me personally the biggest issue I find is that life just doesn't seem to matter anymore. To find some sort of meaning is a constant struggle. Closure for me is just a myth.
Going n feeling the same my wife of 13 yrs passed within 3 mths of cancer thinking it was just menopause 8 1 23 - just turned 50 ...how r you feeling 8 mths later preceding life ? To give me a perspective, I'm feeling nothing much changes n learn to live with the pain, or ?
I guess people are different in how they cope and react. For me personally there is no such thing as closure. That door will always remain a little ajar. You learn to live without them kind of and some may find someone else. I'm 64 now and not interested in another relationship. But each to his/her own. We all deal with it in our own way.
@@ianlawrie thanks
Poignant content...we are blessed to share your experience and that of others to guide us and to know we are supported. Thanks so much 🙏🏼 🕯
My brother passed away June 7th 2020. He was my only sibling. I am broken inside. He suffered for decades with addiction. He lost his battle. I truly believe overdose deaths are the most painful.
Grief is a very lonely. Others who are grieving can understand but it is not the same. It is very personal, your memories, regrets, and feelings are strictly your own.
Therapy helps but time seems to be the key to ease the grieving process.
Side note: I have the audio books written by him and Elizabeth. Hardest listen of my life.
blown away ! Kessler's tenacity & resilience bright shining light in even being able to relate that without breaking down truly inspirational ! accept my utmost condolences K💔d🌺s
You both have such a wonderful deep understanding and connection. You have a lovely friendship now 💯
Grief is such a terrible thing so painful! When my father died, I couldn’t stop grieving!! It took me so many years and then....I took psychedelic mushrooms at home and cried for 6 hours during the trip, it was such a relief! I can truly recommend magic mushrooms for relieving stuck emotions such as grief or laughter, all palette of emotions!
Thank you for sharing this. 🕊
Yeah..I tried Shitake ,Morel.and basically all mushrooms..
Eventually I ate them all...Life is hard..People Die..you will die.. Paint..Learn to play a musical instrument..GO HELP SOMEONE ELSE.. GET READY. LIFE IS HEARTBREAKING..AND ITS WONDERFUL.BEST TO ALL MANKIND ❤
Lol I saw you in some other comment I read recently, your name stuck out to me. Psychedelics are so valuable. I cried and cried on them too
I'm grieving my mom rn. I would love a plug for magic shrooms. That would really help imo
“Hopefully with time, you will grieve them with love”
Love to all suffering from a loss of a loved one. For me, I reflect the quality that I loved so much in the ones I lost. Keeping their goodness alive, it was their gift to me 🙏💚
My Father passed away 2 years ago now. The cornerstone and pillar to my own mental and emotional stability. I was 21 2 weeks away from my 22nd birthday, my Father was 54, passed away on my mother's birthday. It conpunded the pain as my relationship with my mother has been more than fractured since I have genuine cognisant memory. My Father was very aware of my dependence on him for stability and we shared a very intimate moment a short few months before he died where he promised he would be here and he'd make sure he got through my journey. I'm a Law student, I've always wanted to be a lawyer and my fathers ambition was always to see me see out that dream because of the circumstances I came through. He always wanted to be a grandfather. Theres just so many things that come to mind and so many things I want and wanted to say. He died suddenly and there was never a goodbye or any opportunity to understand the journey or understand that feeling of helplessness he must have had. He always said the biggest nightmare for him would be to die suddenly and not be able to say goodbye tell myself and my brother he loved us. Its heart wrenching
Sorry for your loss. I went through similar situations with my father about 4 months ago, the loss and pain of feeling I didn't do enough and not saying goodbye still gets me depressed. Dealing with the losing someone so close and the cornerstone of your mental health is horrible. I just hope in time it will get better.
Jesus is our only real hope in this life. He loves you more than you could ever know. I pray my best friend's story will help you.
Precious Memories-By Sonya Lakey
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
This testimony has been made into a tract form as well, so if you or your church are interested in having them to pass out, please go to libertyfaith.net and you will find the contact info there. God bless!
Tribute to Ethan Lakey
czcams.com/video/EhobcQZ6Qb8/video.html
@@MrEarnbud Jesus is our only real hope in this life. He loves you more than you could ever know. I pray my best friend's story will help you.
Precious Memories-By Sonya Lakey
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
This testimony has been made into a tract form as well, so if you or your church are interested in having them to pass out, please go to libertyfaith.net and you will find the contact info there. God bless!
Tribute to Ethan Lakey
czcams.com/video/EhobcQZ6Qb8/video.html
It's interesting how you and Aaron Doughty touch on like every concept that's on my mind and that I need to deal with that's been bothering me for awhile. You guys are like the two best self help coaches I've ever seen.
Funny enough Aaron learned what he knows from Leo Gura. He and Teal Swan are my fav teachers.
I lost my soulmate last May and together with the pandemic it's just brutal. I sometimes wonder how I manage to still be around. I appreciate this video as it's difficult to find experts on grief. I went to a psychologist but as a Freudian he wants to discuss all kinds of childhood experiences and tells me I should think of the bad sides of my partner when I miss them.
I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you loved, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer.
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number +17866326441, or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.
Oh my that makes things tougher ,I've done this to myself and just became very depressed . Love is the guiding emotion. I hope you find many moments of peace and love .
Beautiful discussion... Fellow 12 stepper here... I love it when Russell speaks about addiction.
Thank you, Russell Brand for this deep interview and your ability to listen and not interrupt when you interview, and your astute questions and wisdom - this was so helpful to hear.