Fantasy Romance author gets an Arranged Marriage
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- čas přidán 6. 09. 2024
- How did I meet my husband? A matchmaker.
I know some people have said they like reading about Arranged Marriage books, but would never want one in real life. I am not one of those people, haha. I honestly think I was so open to the idea because I read so many Arranged Marriage Romance books, not gonna lie.
(Arranged marriage should not be confused with forced marriage, just so we're clear.)
I am a 21st century Romance author, but I was still able to live out the Arranged Marriage love story of my dreams with the man who is now my cuddle buddy, chief logistics officer, back-up camera man, and so much more. I am incredibly, incredibly blessed.
Someday, we'll have to talk about everything Christian does to help run my shop, create my videos, and keep me supplied with reading material. For now, just know he's really awesome, and I think our love story is super cool.
I once overheard my sister complaining to my mom about how hard dating is and finding the right man and "can't you just arrange our marriages?" My mom retorted, "Why, so I can do all the work for you? Heck no!"
I managed to find my other half organically, but watching Gen Z trying to date has me wondering how bad arranged marriages really are. 😂
I forget where I read it, but I think it was the actors of Pride and Prejudice talking about courting. They said they wanted to bring that back because the rigid structure made the whole process so much easier and less confusing. Everyone playing by the same rules.
My mom said the same thing but after a week she send me a list with guys and their profile and contact numbers ,they were long distance family ,her friends kids ,coworker kids and just rundom ppl she thought they were fine
and she wrote "Ok ,I was just bored so...."
@@fatisummer9106 That's really funny 😂
@@ashleykennedy2824I am an Indian, and honestly, arranged marriages are _fine_ ... _Forced_ marriages are an issue, but arranged marriages? Most of my friends agree that life is much better with the option of arranged matches in the picture.
IMO romanticism is a spectrum just like sexuality is one. Many people are on the 'lower' end of the scale, and romance, as seen in rom-coms, is just not that important to them. But finding a person to share life with, to maybe have kids with, to do the whole in sickness and in health thing with - that's still important to them. "Head over heels" love is not something they experience, or at least not something they value highly - just like ace folks don't experience or value lust. Arranged marriages are perfect for them. No point starting at 'do we have a great romantic chemistry' if that's not important to you - start at 'will we make a good partnership and do our life goals match' and go from there. Treat a marriage like a business partnership - because ultimately, that's what it is, if you're closer to the aromantic end of the scale.
D&D: the true matchmaker.
I met my wife through my college's D&D club, we hit it off, and the rest is history.
There was this guy in our LARP/D&D group I'd known as a kind of extended friend for awhile, and yeah, he was pretty cool, and was always talking about neat things, but that was it...and then he took over DMing for our group's second campaign, and we messaged back & forth a lot over...character stuff, and...yeah, he finally asked me out as the campaign wound down, and we got married 14 months later 😂❤
My university anime society was the starting point of so many long term relationships and at least 3 marriages including me and my husband. 😂
This checks out. Really, getting to spend time with people in a relaxed setting does wonders for getting to know them and seeing if you are compatible.
That is legitimately pretty cute- I can just imagine all the things going through his head at that moment XD
That “proposal” was the best thing ever! You two are definitely made for each other 😂
“oh im gonna date him, eventually” honestly thats adorable
Reminds me of what I did haha a friend messaged me and I let him know my look taste cause his sister who I tried to get with gave my fb to him. So I basically gave him the keys. We met in person and I told him to ask me out as we both were teasing each other to bring the other to break and kiss or something. He asked me out I said yes we been together since 2017 and we are expecting a girl on the 11 of May.
totally something I would say, hopefully would come off just as adorable... I hope. Anyways, I've been married to my best friend for almost two years because I thought, why not give it my very best shot. Turns out I was right. I'm as gay as I thought I was, we're still staying married though, we're both very happy
When you said "I realized I was bad at it" I felt that sentence in my soul.
As a fellow author and dungeon master I was like "AWWW is she going to gift him his first own D20?"
You should totally get him a fancy dice set for your next anniversary, if he still plays that is.
When I was single, my parents offered to help me find a guy. I was tempted to agree out of pure curiosity as to who/what they thought I would be compatible with. lol.
I met my husband through a dating site.
"Yeah I'm going to date him, eventually."
I love the tone of that considering you were showing him D&D, and it just feels like it had the undertone of "Yeah yeah, going to date, relationship, maybe love or marriage, whatever, I'm a little focused right now! Do you have ANY idea how much my group needs someone to play a cleric for party balance?? His Fridays are just, OPEN! Do you realize how rare that is?"
Well in my (muslim) country for people who do arranged marriages it‘s pretty much just that, but instead of a matchmaker it‘s your parents and you go on an arranged date and if you like each other, you have an engagement period (usually one to 2 years) where you make sure of your decision, and then you get married.
My parents only met on their wedding day, but they exchanged a lot of letters (perfumed from my mom’s side, apparently the mailman teased him about it) and they’re still happily married today.
What some people are describing in the comments is a forced marriage, which is disgusting.
The term arranged marriage and forced marriage is pretty much interchangeable in English. And while I’m glad that your country is more relaxed about it, and your parents had a good marriage, certainly there are places where arranged marriage = forced marriage still exists or it did in the past. And even more relaxed attitudes to arranged marriages involve living up to culturally enforced gender roles and expectations. Also, if you’ve only ever met someone for a few dates or two, how are you meant to really know what it’s like to be married? Agreeing to marry the only option you’ve ever really had is not really the same making sure of your decision. Divorce may not be an option or is not an option for the woman, only the man. And often if you do fall in love with someone who is not approved of, there is trouble from the family.
@@songindarkness yeah forced marriage is probably done in every country in the world, if someone doesn’t have the option to say no then it’s forced.
But in the case I’m talking about it’s at least a year getting to know each other (my parents exchanged actual physical letters for a year because they didn’t know they both had a phone), and yeah if the wedding date approaches then it’s very had to change your mind, and yeah some people don’t get the luxury of divorce (if there’s children in the mix most women feel too trapped to get a divorce).
But that is a universal issue not really tied to how a couple met.
@@omaimaf9963forced marriage is not done in every country at all. In fact, in most western countries it is probably impossible. What then ends up happening is people going back to their ancestral country (or tricked/forced to go back in a lot of women's cases).
Those terms are not interchangeable in English. @@songindarkness
@@gubruikertjeforced marriages are still done in western countries esp the usa
I met my husband of blessed memory through Dial-a-Date, so there's no form of "set-up" I disapprove of. I hope you have a long and happy marriage - I did!
I’ve learned that men know very quickly when they truly want someone in their lives. It’s cute he knew basically on your first official date
That's super adorable, honestly, but I don't know if I'd call it an arranged marriage?
Like my friend graduated college and his parents were just like "here's your wife" and showed up with a woman he'd never met before. They did get some time to get to know each other before the actual ceremony and get on very well now, but there was absolutely zero courtship or choice involved.
There's more than one approach to arranged marriage. All my friends' arranged marriages were more like the parents pick out some candidates based on specific criteria they're looking for in an in-law and compatibility test results and their kid gives feedback, declines meetings entirely or goes on the dates but they always have the option to decline at any stage. Both parties have to agree to the arrangement to move on to finding the auspicious marriage date and event planning. It's like app dating except thousands of years older.
There's a pretty wide spectrum between arranged marriages and not-at-all-arranged marriages
It was pretty much 'arranged upon request' , 'with back-out options' and 'no obvious time-pressure'
but arranged it was.
they were set up, but that's definitely not an "arranged marriage".
Growing up my parents hosted lots of dinner parties and I kind of day dreamed that they'd set me up one with with a son of one of their friend's... I grew up and realised I would have to do the work all by myself. 😭
"I think we should date." Holy shit, yes, if only more people were willing to be direct about stuff like this, everyone's life would be so much better!
I'm so used to her being in-character I was confused, at first.
That's so sweet! Loved the D20 in the ring box! 😆
I met my husband in a Taco Bell drive-thru, and he gave me his number on my receipt (which I still have). 😄
This sounds like the plot of an exceptionally cool Hallmark movie. I'd watch it!
Okay this is really cute hsdfksa I hope you two get to live a long, happy life!! Hugs to you two!
That is the most amazing "How we met" story Ive ever heard.
Congratulations! This isn't really what I expect when I hear of an arranged marriage or a matchmaker, but hiring someone to tell you who to date does sound like it could be a good idea.
This is one of the sweetest, most wholesome love stories I've ever heard! I'm so glad you guys are happy together! ❤
Awww. So happy for you! I met my Legolas volunteering at an animal sanctuary. I was in a loveless harmful relationship and I ended up with the elf of my dreams, now we live in the wild writing novels and cosplaying together ❤😊
This is adorable and wholesome and wonderdul
Warning! ‼️ It's kind of normal to fall out of love briefly at the two year mark. Ironically this is because of a mistaken sense of loyalty toward the person our spouse was on our wedding day. That person has developed since then and become a slightly better version of self ... that might not fit as well with whom we've become. Once you let go of expecting to get to love that dated version of your spouse you will get to become acquainted with and love the person your spouse has become--as long as you don't do something stupid like divorce over it or have an affair in the meantime. That's why marriage is for adults--you've got to be okay with being on your own while you get reacquainted and re-enamored. Best wishes!!!
I met my husband through my best friend in high school. They were in woodworking shop together and she sat with him and his friends at lunch and I sat with her. It was a rocky start. My husband was and still is a smart alec with a twisted sense of humor. I said I had a little sister and he made some offhanded joke and I threatened to kill him if he went near her. Then I married him four years later. Been together for ten years and married eight.
My husband's and my full story is much too long for a simple comment, but we also "met" twice. 😂 I'm glad it worked out for you!
Awe that is such a cute story 😊. Congratulations
Adorable.
I'm stealing the D20 thing.
Nice.
I knew there would be a D20 in the box!
However, meeting a guy named Christian at a house church is a little bit on the nose. The author should change that plot point. 😛
I got a dating coach and that's how I met my husband!
Hilariously, he is a DM for D&D and taught me to play
I only recently found your channel and it is golden. lol
That's some fun. I new my husband was going to be the one when he book me a book on a date instead of flowers.
I think it’s irresponsible of you to say arranged marriage is the same as meeting someone even via a matchmaker/relationship coach. In arranged marriages in many cultures, the potentially married parties rarely have choice about who they marry or even getting married at all, and especially in the past it was for financial or political gain of the parents. Not to mention a lot of the marriages take places with girls who are very young or underage. And dating is not even on the table in many of these cultures. I know a lot of people defend arranged marriage these days because “it’s the culture” but a lot of the “success” of these marriages depends on the subservience and abuse of girls and women. My mum narrowly avoided an arranged marriage and was nearly estranged from her family for marrying my dad. Yes, there are cultures which have somewhat relaxed their views on arranged marriages but they still heavily depend on culturally enforced gender roles and sex roles, and if you fell in love with someone your parents didn’t approve of there would be trouble. Your story is very cute and romantic but not an arranged marriage.
Good for you, may you have a long and happy marriage.
OMG that was so entertaining from beginning to end no wonder you have inspiration to write novels 😂
This is literally fanfiction asdfghjkl
I laughed out loud at the reveal that there was a D20 in the box. That was perfect 😂
OMG-Me too!! I used a matchmaker, and it was the best money I ever spent!
Ok that was really cute but not really an arranged marriage. My marriage was arranged. My parents found his profile on a matrimony site and showed it to me. I had no real interest in marriage at that time but I agreed he seemed compatible. Now my parents had been sending likes to many profiles but his was the only one that I personally had selected. I had not directly interacted with any of the guys so far. His older brother contacted my parents and said they were interested and asked for my number. My parents told me about this development and asked me if it was okay. I wasn't really sure about this as I am shy and have trouble with phone conversations. But with my parents encouragement I agreed. We started talking, he came to see me once, and we were married before the end of the year. We've been married for three years now and have a son. We are quite happy. In my culture this is the norm. It's actually strange to think of doing these things on your own.
Im now imagining a ring where the 'stone' is a miniature D20
European here. What does a typical house church look like?
American from California here and I'm not sure either and would love to learn as well
@@secretbutterflyformer Californian here, also, and I'm not quite sure either, but it kind of sounds like how the church I grew up in was founded. It started out as a bunch of retirees getting together in one of their living rooms for Bible study and communion and such, and they wound up with enough people and pooled tithes and offerings to buy an empty lot, build a church, and request/hire a pastor. My parents were the youngest peiple there when they joined, back in '83. I was 3 months old, and wound up partially raised by a couple dozen church grandparents.
@@j.g.3453 Aw, that sounds lovely! Thanks for giving your perspective. I wondered if that might be what she's getting at as well.
@@j.g.3453 sounds lovely. As long as it wasn't James Jones 😳😅😉
This is literally so cute, and I don’t think anything is wrong with an arranged relationship/marriage as long as both parties sign up for it. Plus, through arranged marriages you’ll never have to question how serious the other person actually wants to get. 😅
I was waiting for you say “that’s the plot of so and so book.” That’s so cute! Good for you!
omg first i love your vids and ur writing is amazing
I think you two are adorable and inspiring. I hope someday I have a'story like this to tell! 😊 (As I don't think the whole knife-to-throat meet-cute is in the cards for me at this point . . .)
Interesting- when I hear the term arranged marriage I think of quite traditional, parent and extended family type spouse searches, but of course even they often made use of traditional matchmakers and the modern apparatus of matchmakers, dating services, dating coaches, or even websites does have many points of contact and clearly IS in the same tradition, just adapted to the times and the methods we have. Thanks for sharing your story.
That fact dnd was the thing that made it really start is amazing.
"The Woman DMs!"
Slams the ground with his fist.
"It should have been me not him!"
😂
I want a picture of his face when you put that velvet box on the table !
I didn't date my boyfriend through D&D but I did meet him by playtesting his game. It took a lot more "coincidences that sometimes give me an existential crisis thinking about how we almost didn't meet in a hundred ways" than "arranged/set up by a matchmaker", though.
That is wild. THank you for sharing. That is great.
Honestly you’re so lucky! I try going to bars to find someone but I’m too anxious and shy and every girl I see is probably not interested in me and I just wanna leave, cuddle my pillow and cry. I looked at the dating service you used since we’re in the same state but the men’s 1822 Facebook group screamed religious patriarchal cult to me
IT'S A TRUE STORY?! I thought for sure you were summarizing a contemporary novel you'd read! What the--HOW?
Interesting. It has me intrigued as to what you value as a person🤔I mean that curiously, not judgingly. Perhaps I should give that book of yours a read
I feel like you would love Drinking Song For The Socially Anxious, it's a really cute song about two people who meet and connect through D&D 💖
It's by The Amazing Devil (a band with Joey Batey aka Jaskier from The Witcher), their music and lyrics are so beautifully written: otherworldly and ethereal yet raw and cathartic 🎶
The dice of destiny has spoken. 😂 but honestly that was sweet and i would like to hear his side now because of that exchange 😂.
House church?
The Dice in the ringtone was perfect! XD
Love it so much!
D&D is a great matchmaking tool!
This is the only irl love story I believe in anymore
You mean he's not a vampire you ran over in the middle of the night?
This is making me look forward to when I can afford to hire a matchmaker
Cant tell if this is literal or just your storytelling style but either way its adorable.
I don't think there's anything against an arranged marriage, if both people agree to it. What's only cute in books is the "forced arranged marriage" trope, but in the novels both people are hot for each other and fall in love anyway so it's ok.
Why shouldn't you be happy with another person that has been carefully selected and vouched for by a person you trust?
I met my husband through some form of speed dating (face to face dating, for anyone German interested), and I was hopelessly attracted to him from the moment I met him. We'll have our 10th anniversary next year.
My sister and all my czns are arranged marriage and are engaged like at least 2years, then marriage will come, so they woukd be very excited too about a male that is going to be there husband, mostly are happy now ofc and yeah first man in there life too so It like all those arranged marriage trope books
Cinderella was an "arranged" situation from the princes' side. Jasmin was, to a degree, an "arranged" one as well. What Jafar did was "forced". Making him the villain.
I have several friends who had an arranged marriage. Their families discussed it, the last step was girl meets boy. Even at that stage, in Afghanistan, she had the opportunity to say no. She liked her prospective partner very much, so they married. The others are Indian and their stories are much the same.
Rolled a nat 20 in marriage
Proposed with a dice. Nice!
Man, that's the craziest story I ever heard! I'm still trying to believe it.
I've no idea who your publisher is and wondered if you have approached QBD books
I find your humour hilarious
That is the loveliest thing^^
Oh my~❤
I think more people could use a match maker tbh
Aw, that's a really sweet story
The title is misleading, feels like you did the velvet ring box gag on your viewers.
Thats so adorable 😊
That's adorable ❤ I recently had a relationship end, for once on healthy terms and though I still deeply care about the guy, I've often wondered about finally seeing something like a Matchmaker because I've always had really bad luck with guys.
Why not
@@Faye-el1bz Just never really thought it was a thing if you weren't rich. I've only learned recently
You'll meet someone that's for sure
Try it out
You'll never know till you have a go
Just found this video and it's so sweet!!! I'm so happy for the both of you!! :) I've always wanted an "arranged" marriage/relationship so I know my family has already vetted them, but my siblings and parents don't know anyone.
That’s too cute. A true romance!
This is utterly fascinating. Hardly the same thing as the old-school arranged marriage where you are going to marry this guy, and nobody cares what you think of him. It seems quite viable to me. When it's a choice both people can make. Not what happened to me, though. And I truly truly suck at dating.
Btw--Christian? Really? Are you sure you're not a character in a romance novel? How would you know if you were? Anyway, love your videos. The romance genre, maybe not quite so much. Romance in fiction, I adore. When it's done right. And in real life. When it's done right. In both cases, I tend to think it's more often done wrong, but never mind. Nothing in this world gets done right all of the time.
Adorable story
Oh my goodness! That's the best story ever! ❤
Awww this is such a cute and amazin story, also do you have any recommendations for a D&D campaign for player of a few months that are still gettin comfortable with the game
Omg congratulations!!! That's beautiful.
Life goals
Well, I am sold.
It doesn't matter how you meet as long as no one is forced into marriage.
This is a beautiful story!
Better love story than twilight
This is a really cute story I love it, nerd on!!!
People get all ick about arranged marriages but there are wonderful ones as long as full knowledge is involved
I had to send this to my friend who tried (and failed) multiple times to set me up with her friend Drew, until one day I accidentally came to their D&D campaign...
This could be a book 😁
Nerd wuv.... iz twoooo wuuuuuuuv........
My grandparents had an arrangement marriage/meeting. Her uncles were in business with his dad. The families arranged a bonfire meeting and they got married a few months later.
I love that!
You guys are adorable.
That's assisted not arranged.
She got to roll with advantage
Congrats on your RL meet cute