BIPOLAR DISORDER: 12 Tips For Friends & Family Who Want to Help!
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- čas přidán 29. 10. 2017
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Bipolar disorder is a team effort - especially when our friends, family, or spouse become an important part of our support system. Even though these people love us deeply and want to be there for us, that doesn't always mean they have the tools needed to be up to the task. Educating those who we depend on for support can be invaluable to our treatment and prevent certain "relationship-straining" resentment that can develop by them not understanding our behaviors. In this Bipolar support video, we're going to talk about 12 tips to help our friends and loved ones be there for us in more effective ways. There's a difference between caring ABOUT someone with Bipolar Disorder and caring FOR someone with Bipolar Disorder. We hope this video will help others - to help you - in a more efficient way.
Welcome Polar Warriors! This channel is dedicated to helping individuals, families, and friends who struggle with, or know someone living with Bipolar Disorder. My goal is to provide actual tools, tips, and discuss topics that can potentially help individuals grow to live a more balanced, peaceful, and fulfilling life. I truly hope my videos inspire & educate those interested in knowing more about this serious mental illness. PLEASE remember to subscribe so you don't miss a video that could impact your life in a profound way!
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-Rob Whittaker, Polar Warriors: Bipolar Support
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I would love it if you'd post a few videos to help non-bipolar people deal with bipolar relatives and loved ones. It's not just the depression that's a problem, it's when bipolar people go on the attack. Give us some tips on how we can protect ourselves without getting draw into the fight. Give us some tips on how we can heal ourselves from the hurts we've suffered as a result of being related to someone who suffers from this disorder.
Thank you for your feedback! I do have a video in mind that I will be working on soon. Thank you for stopping by my channel!!!🤗🙏
- Rob
For additional content consider joining us on Patreon!
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This is a great point. Also why I’m here
Exactly!!! I've done more for my sister over the last 2 years than I've done for myself and she does nothing but lie, gaslight and try to manipulate me....then tells other people she "enjoys" doing stuff to see if I'll "save" her....then plays the victim card. I've had literally no luck finding any tips for how to save ourselves.
@@kelleystout1535I am a twin brother to someone who’s bipolar. He does the exact same thing to my dad. I just wish it would stop and I’m not sure what to do as it’s effecting not only me but my whole family. Let me know if you find any tips. I am 14 btw
This is what I am going through right now. I have to go get professional help for myself now.
The fifth point, "When we push you away, that's probably when we need you the most" is incredibly helpful and important. Being pushed away can cause pain, which can make it more difficult to be compassionate. But remember that the pushing-away is caused by suffering that often has nothing to do with you.
I wish i knew this before!
All the points are very useful though the 5th point helps me the most. I didn’t know my son suffers from bipolar disorder so when he pushed me away when I was trying so hard to help really broke me to a point I had to seek professional help myself not because of my own feelings but seeing him hurting so much threw me into desperation and needed professional guidance for ways to help my son.
Thank you for creating these videos to help us understand how to help and show support to our loved ones who are suffering.
Trying to understand bipolar disorder for a friend that I care about a lot. She's going through some stuff but I'm determined to listen to her and make her feel better.
Milky Cow thank you so much for doing that. The world needs more people like you. It’s very rare for friends to become educated and watch videos like this. Thank you so much!
I’m going through this right now too. I don’t wanna give up on my friend but I also wanna respect his needs and his space. I’m having such a hard time finding that sweet spot where I’m not smothering him but also not neglecting him. I really really wanna do everything I can. I care about my friend a lot.
(This video has helped a lot. I subbed so I can learn more.)
Milky Cow You are a good friend!!
@@shaunrpmusic You are being a true friend!
Thank you! I remember when I was younger my sister's would scream in my face, "YOU'RE SO BIPOLAR WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?" This was before I knew I had it & I thought it was one of the worst things to have so I always denied having it. I'm 24 now & I'm finally comfortable enough to say I have bipolar. It's hard to try & "fix" ourselves when you feel like a freak.
My favorite tip was just be there and listen. Honestly, just knowing someone is there is all I need sometimes.
How do you do a intervention on so.eone with bipolor
@@susieferrell7082 sadly sometimes the person has to make that decision themselves
@@susieferrell7082 im trying to figure this out too.
I'm sure it is😊 Truly, this new info is helping me understand and better approach my significant other after a recent episode. I've never experienced anything like it before but it brought us closer.
How can you listen ? If the person doesn’t even wanna talk 😢
My ex wife, who had bipolar, crashed and kicked me out of her life and wanted a divorce. She pushed me so far away it was beyond repairing. I had to divorce her but I still want to understand this disorder to this day.
If you realize you're that way, shouldn't you work on yourself?
Had similar experience in a span of 5 weeks I had been kicked out...not sure if it is BP...but it sounds like the culprit...while leaving that city and in playing golf with a psychiatrist, he recommend to run and not look back...a real heart breaker because I cared so much for the person 😢
Look at yourself and don't use labels as excuses.
Divorcing her was a smart move.
I’m learning about BP because my niece suffers from this illness.
I particularly gravitate to the friend sand family members who say “where are the resources to help US???” .
I feel continually abused and manipulated !! It’s been years now even thought she’s on medication ! Her mood swings are profound and I have to say …..VERY HURTFUL to me over the years !! Her actions and words are completely opposite and I get very confused ! I recently expressed this to her and am about to have an “intervention “ with her and her mom . I cannot deal with this emotional abuse anymore ! I feel I need to put up some boundaries finally. She’s always “sorry” and feeling bad but then she will say or do something yet again to hurt me. I’m exhausted . It’s very wearing.
I am searching for some assistance for US….the friends and family members who are “the real “ victims here !
Hi Anna! I'm so sorry that this has been going on with you and your niece! Please consider joining a local support group, they are always a good place to find resources. A lot of organisations don't have the budget to advertise. In case you are interested Rob offers one on one support on Patreon and he has a support group for patrons only on discord where we have a lot of loved ones who attend. He also has a specific group for partners and family as well. Would love to have you there!
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
I've was diagnosed 25+ years ago and I do take medications that have not cured but have helped keep me on the planet. I have one suggestion to some people with bipolar...don't go looking for validation all the time and never, never, never disclose to your workplace. They will see you as a liability and not an asset. The boss will resent you. Accommodations may need to be made but remember...A Lot of people suffer from various diseases and mental illnesses and show up to work everyday. You are not exempt. You HAVE to meet people halfway.
It is actually beneficial in certain circumstances to disclose that you have disability. You need not disclose the actual nature of the disability, simply that you have a disability. For many, that is exactly what bipolar disorder is, an often debilitating and disabling disease. Many companies are encouraged and incentivised to hire individuals with disabilities by the federal government through tax breaks. Furthermore, there are some circumstances when being upfront and open about your illness with your employer can serve to assist your employer in providing appropriate and reasonable accommodations when necessary. The illness does not make you a liability. As long as you remain an efficient and productive unit whose net output exceeds the company's gross input to cover your cost of operations you remain an asset to the company. That is what companies look at when determining your overall value and whether or not your worth the coin they're putting in your bank account and benefits every week or two...
I like them all but the one that stuck out to me most is just be there to listen and not give advice. I have a tendency to automatically put my two cents in. I'm gonna do better and try to just be there ans listen. Thank you for this channel.
Kay Carroll i’m so glad the video helped and thank you for the wonderful comment :-)
The thing is though that you dont have to say anything just listen! Ask questions when the time feels right
Thank you Kay Carroll. There is enough advice. We probably have gone over all of the good things already a thousand times. It truly doesn't help and hits me hard when people do so. So ! I AM HAPPY that you truly heard this one !!! You listened, with you heart ! THANK YOU !!!
ditto
I agree KK 🥰
#6 is my favorite. When I'm crashing and someone tries to give me advice, I completely lose it! It makes me feel like they think I don't know how to do things right. I know what's the right thing to do, but I just can't seem to get there....no matter how hard I try!!
Dawn Neas You have no idea how much I can relate! Even with all of the work I have done to manage my bipolar, I still have periods of mania, depression, and even hospitalization. They happen a lot more rarely than in the past, but what you are describing is just part of the illness. I still have a hard time pacing myself when I get manic, even when I say in my head “I should really slow down so I don’t pay for it later.” I also have a hard time seeing things clearly when I get depressed. Loss of clarity is just a symptom of the illness and the more self-aware we become, the easier it will be to intercept symptoms before they turn into an episode. Something I’m still working on…It is definitely a lifelong journey, but at least you are here, learning more about bipolar disorder and actually doing something about it! That puts you far ahead of the game! A very warm welcome to my channel and thank you for joining the conversation :-)
Robert
I feel the same way
This happened just the other week when I went to the doctor suggesting I may have bipolar. She completely disregarded me and then started listing all the things I'm supposed to be doing to get better (which i already know bc counsellors) and i started crying uncontrollably. Still not diagnosed and still struggling.
My usual reaction is "how can I make your day better?"
Exactly!!! Like "Be happy!" " Look at all you have."
My sons are Bipolar. When they're well you can't imagine them not remaining well. Until.it happens. And It's difficult to remember it will happen again. And again. It affects the whole family unit when one of them is ill. We all just hunker down best we can until the storm passes thru. As it always has in the past. They're twins and 24-yrs old. Nice lads. It's just endlessly heartbreaking. And hard. But I try only to think of them and how difficult it must be for them at their age. And not knowing how to deal with what the future may have in store. But we safeguard them as best we can. And try to find the best medical options available. Your channel really helps. Thanks for all you do. You're amazing.
You’re not alone. I have loved ones going thru the same at that age. It’s heartbreaking but learning to educate myself to be able to help somehow
The 1 tip that stood out to me was that my boyfriend who has bipolar said when he angrily episodes and is lashing out verbally to me calling me names and blaming me for things HE himself did he wants me to love on him. Cuddle and hug him. And I'm thinking that's really hard since his episode puts me in the self defense mode at the time. The last thing I want to do is love on you! But I learned to do it as soon as I recognized it. I didn't always recognize it right away but when I did I would just walk away and let him rant til he got it out of his system. What I did realize is that most of the time it really wasn't something I had to fight back about. He was just using me as his verbal punching bag because he couldn't control it at that moment. Then when I figured it was safe I would hug on him and say I'm sorry whether it was my fault or not. Then he would calm down and apologize and say, "I'm sorry love. You didn't deserve that....." And he would seemingly level out. We were together for 5 yrs. And just recently broke up. But I love watching your videos!! OMG I wish I would've discovered these sooner! You're gonna save so many lives and relationships Robert! Thank you so much for doing these! It's so hard to find good help for this! I know it's a bit challenging for you but what a phenomenal way to help others! You are better than any psychologist or counselor we ever went to!! And we've been thru 4 years of them!
Wow you just described my current situation in reversed roles, mine used to be physical as well but that has passed. I'm 18 months in I have or had a great life you will know what I mean , just curious and its kind of personal but I feel you are more than qualified do you regret hanging in there for so long?
Forgot the #...but when we isolate..dont answer the phone....or texts...or emails...or dont visit....we just can't handle that at that particular time..don't take it personal.
Also..we do need you family and friends..just to be there and know we love you.
I listen , i cry . I happy , down . Smile thank you . Me alone , i try all by myself , its complicated but u understand me . My smile ?? My cry ?? Emotion start .
After years & years of dedicating myself and caring for one woman who was not open to professional help, I have moved on,
left her behind and have come to the realization that some people will never change even if it makes their own life better.
My sister is bipolar and is going through a crash right now. Thank you so much for saying she still loves me. I know it's true deep down, she just can't express it right now.
Hi Naomi, so sorry to hear your sister is going through a crash right now. That can be hard to witness, when it's someone you love. I'm sure she does still love you, it can just be so hard to express it when someone is unwell like she is right now. Take good care and I hope she starts doing better soon. -Rachel (Polar Warriors team member)
By the way all of this that was just said is true , sometimes all they need is friends and family and love , don't let them kill themselves pls 😢
sometimes we feel like we're bothering you or may avoid your call and get scared to call you back because we feel like you'll be upset with us. that is me thoroughly. Holy hell
my favorite tip is the one that says the BP person still loves the family/friend under all the profanity and slamming doors and the "I'm done's" and the "you'll never see from me agains".
It's happening a lot lately. The thing is, after all those I'm done, dont you start thinking this time will be the time they're done for sure? :/
@@daniq25 can't even count the times. It's been 2 months now and hoping this last ordeal was the straw that broke the camel's back.
@@yorkiem0m he hasn't talked to me for 2 months and a half. Last time we talked he blamed be for everything, which I see is pretty common. He isn't diagnosed yet ( or he hasn't told me about it because he went to the dr while he was already not talking to me) but I've watched most of these videos...and wow , mostly everything fits. I hope he's getting help and will come back to me soon.
When we are wiped out and unable to do much of anything please listen when we tell you this. It is not an excuse to get out of things for we would gladly do them if we could. Instead of making a face or getting mad if we can’t cook a meal please be kind and go the extra mile and cook the meal with a good attitude. Please be kind to us, but mostly please still love us.
People won't believe us and they won't even try to understand us. Thank you this was a great video. I hope you people can find a person who can undestand and willing to help you.
Thank you so much for your sweet words! In case you are interested Rob offers one on one support on Patreon and he has a weekly support group for patrons only on discord. Would love to have you there. Take gentle care.
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
#12. My husband of 35 years who suffers from bipolar says that it’s painfully lonely for him when I’m away, but when I come home he will just sit in the same room as me and not talk at all. Thanks for explaining in #4 that all his feelings are super intense and even painful. This makes more sense now.
Wow, I have a bipolar partner. I desperately want to help. I feel so sad listening to this video. It must be hell for anyone going through this disorder, let alone their loved ones. Thank you
It is hell. Weird thing though is that we don't realize how bad it is. Our brains are telling us we are fine sometimes and you are the crazy one. It's our defense. If you follow these 12 things and remember it's not personal that will help. Good luck!!
I have recently lost a 53-year-old brother. He was screaming for help but due to ignorance of everyone of us, and the professional who was treating him, he killed himself. Two months later while talking to a student, she called my attention to bipolar disorder. I myself was absolutely ignorant on the subject, and as I started researching I realized the terrifying truth that, what for everybody who knew and loved my brother was "normal" is exactly what killed him. He was always unstoppable, from making many plans and dreaming high to doing lots of things at the same time. He started using marijuana and drinking heavily, and his life took a big turn from cheating on his wife to becoming irritated and nervous and nice and explosive and nice and so on. And as everybody in my family is somehow like that, we all considered that "it's in the blood", "it runs in the family". And now that I'm searching and reading and learning, I want to shout aloud because the pain is too terrible to bear, and because I want other people to know about that. Oh, how resistant are people to talk about it!! Thank you for your video.
The hardest part is being judged by others. The knowing that when I begin to have feelings for someone, or them me, I have to push them away. I love them too much to hurt them and I cannot be in a relationship. I've resigned myself to being alone because it hurts less to have hurt someone. I can only be friends, for a little while... never anymore than that. It is less painful for everyone, to have only very few, people in my life.
I try to be kind in all things, knowing I'll end up alone and probably be just the neighborhood cat lady. 2 cats and me, is all I can handle! Anymore than that, I get too stressed out which throws me into the cycling. Stress is my enemy, and sleeping for hours alone, is my only cure. I sometimes get horribly lonely and I cry alot, but when I can't stop the pain or tears, it's a couple aspirin and a sleep med. That's when I'll sleep all day and night. When I wake up, I'm ok in just a few hours. Loving at a arms length is kinder... Life, goes on.
In my deepest depression, I no longer want to live, but I know it's only the disease talking. In that knowing, I can cope until I am emotionally exhausted. Then I can sleep, heal and start all over again, until the next time I cycle. Funny, it gets worse as one ages.
Being a bp2 with cronic, manic depression (but medicated), it's the only thing I know that works for me.
I am thankful, I know how to fix me, that I will survive. Riding that dark horse of depression, is hard. I have survived! (Have been doing it for 70 yrs, only diagnosed 8 yrs ago.)
I feel deeply, too, and am tired of being attacked. I have depression and am suffering too. She pushes me away and she won't go on medication. Never ever is there for me but I have to be perfect in my support of her.
Hi, I'm so sorry you're in this sad situation! In case you are interested Rob offers one on one support on Patreon and he has a support group for patrons only on discord where we have a lot of loved ones who attend. He also has a specific group for partners and family as well. Would love to have you there!
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
I’m so greatful for my people
And that’s why I wonder “I have the best life. Why can’t I get better?”
Hi Rob. My favorite is trying to get ppl to understand why we isolate. I know I definitely pull my self away from everyone when I am too overwhelmed. Ppl don’t always understand that sometimes everything is just too much ❤️
kimmie dirette alone time can be very healthy and very unhealthy too... sometimes I just need peace and to get away from the overstimulation that can be a huge trigger for anxiety. I just try not to do it too much when I’m depressed or I can make it worse. All about balance, and I’m still working on that! There is no problem with telling people that you are starting to feel sick and you just need to lay down. They don’t need to know why. Especially if they won’t understand. Almost everyone can relate to sickness, so it’s an easy way to get some space and have people respect the decision. I hope that helps :-)
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
-Robert
kimmie dirette I understand what your going through. My family say they forgive me for my past transgressions (which was my Bi Polar but I didn’t know) . My eldest daughter just doesn’t want to understand me even though . she graduated with psychology , sociology all social sciences . Not one of my 2 daughters have even watched an 8 minute video on Bi Polar. No one really understands us but I feel we are saner than so called “ the normal “. I hope things work out for you!!!
Love n peace ☮️
pandorasbox 2 2 💕
I absolutely agree!! I need time to recharge. I need to be alone.
I have that problem too. Family functions and such are the worst....then you have those that will make you feel bad for not attending when they just dont get it....you already feel bad ! 😢
12 tips sumed it up well for how my BP is. My favorite tip: Dont abandon me after a meltdown. Me: I'd endup bringing flowers trying to understand why so many people are mad at me when I'm one who is SICK.
My mom developed this disorder after a stroke ten years ago, and really, she's the most unpleasant person to be around, and most of the family has gotten to the point that we're ready to put her in a home, and forget that she exists. I'm sorry that she's suffering, but we don't all have to suffer along with her. Help me to not give up on her.
Thanksgiving is coming up...kind of want to invite everyone BUT her, so that we can have one event without a crazy lady threatening to fight people, and saying cruel, hateful things about those who love her.
The 3 best things someone can talk to me about: drink water, eat a sandwich, and take a shower.
Simple but really helpful because I forget about these little things when I'm depressive or manic.
great comment! Thanks for subscribing!
Thank you so very much! I was just diagnosed 4 days ago with bipolar 1 disorder I also have bad anxiety. I’m 48 and it all makes sense now. Your videos have brought me some peace to know I’m not alone... I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings!! I don’t like feeling this way!! I have started taking meds and hope they start to help soon.
I shared this video with a few friends and by doing so I have found out I’m not alone!!!
Thank you again!! You explain it all so perfectly!
~Juanita~
Same here. I don't want to be mean, cruel, and hateful to people, most importantly my friends and family members. I have been working on this for a couple of years and I have come along way. Before, I was diagnosed and began to show signs of Bi Polar disorder, my family member who I believe was Bi Polar had severe rage and anger episodes. This is something I definately do not want in my life. God has helped me so much that now I don't have them much anymore. The only time when I experience an episode is when I am around someone that I believe is a narcissist. I am an empath. So when someone is mean, cruel, rude, and hateful to me for no reason at all I last out, which when someone reacts this way, I truly believe they are narcissist or Bi Polar, or both. I have also found that I can not be around other people who have Bi Polar disorder. If they start to lash out at me for no reason, I flip out.
Long road but at least we have a navigator now. Suerte!!!
My wife is suffering from postpartum depression and psychosis. Turns out it stems from bipolar, I always thought maybe she had depression that would come and go. I didn’t take her seriously, now I’m doing everything I can to get educated. I didn’t know how to help before and what I needed to do. I know I made things worse. Thank you for all the videos, everything you say are things we have experienced, everything. Your videos help and everything out there does make me a better person for her. Thank you.
Hi, Rob offers one on one support on Patreon if you are interested. He also posts more personal information about his day to day struggles like his recent hospital stay. For the month of July he is offering free phone calls to patrons. Another Patreon exclusive is Rob hosting and moderating weekly support groups on discord! Take gentle care! 🙏
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to:
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
(H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
My tip is for people to stop being passive aggressive understanding and forgiving. Either forgive me and understand or not. You can't say you are then emotionally sucker punch me at will because of a past which you forgave/understood me for. But i am starting to heal more once i realized that some people need to hold on to that hurt that i caused them. That i can't be so ego and demand they forgive NOW! That like me they need time to process their feelings. That they should communicate their negative feeling with me instead of staying silent for fear i might break. That they cannot punish me for things they don't say to me. I need for them to understand that i understand. That they don't have to punish themselves in order for me to feel better. Because when i see how they suffer how can i feel better? That as i am making them responsible for me, They should make me responsible for them. We need to not be afraid to teach one another.
Candy Waters agreed!
Wow! I needed to read that. Illness doesn't remove someone from responsibility. Thank You Candy.
Candy Waters great !
Sometimes I think it's about trust. Not so much trust of the person with mental but illness but rather trust of the mental illness itself which is something that really can't be trusted. How many bipolar people have said, "trust me, I don't need medication anymore". I think it's okay to distrust the mental illness, maybe even hold a grudge against it, without holding any anger or distrust against the person themselves. I also think it's important for people to own up to what they can improve on, if you always blame your mistakes on something else and never apologize for anything it won't gain you any friends.
I learned that it’s okay to reach out to him, even though he broke off the relationship, by blindsiding me, in a very cold and mean way.
I can sure relate to this one this weekend. So painful.
I like the listen and to stay even when the person is pushing you away... know one gets how important it is to be with our loved one during this time... it is de officially but sticking it out is worth it....
The Thank You's to those who support and Love...
My favorite is we don't want pity. If we talk about having bipolar and what we might be going through, it is not because we want you to feel sorry for us. We may just need to talk about it to someone who is close and cares. One thing I would add to this is don't be afraid to ask questions. If you want to know about me and this disorder I have, don't be afraid to ask. I will do my best to help you understand. But, keep in mind, I may have a difficult time understanding things myself.
What an awesome comment Lisa. Right on!!
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
Rob:
I really need your help to keep a good thing going here... PLEASE consider supporting Polar Warriors work on Patreon. Even just $1 a month makes a huge difference. Thank you so much
What a great talk! Here's a summary of the main points. For people with bipolar disorder:
1. It doesn’t define who we are - we’re NOT bipolar, we HAVE bipolar
2. We are not using bipolar as an excuse - It’s a serious life-threatening illness
3. When we're crashing, it’s really important to know specifically how to help them, when we are feeling well, ask us the top 5 things that can help us; it’s as important to know what NOT to say as what to say
4. We feel everything deeply, sometimes to the point of physical pain
5. When we push you away, it’s probably when we need you the most, gentle loving-kindness
6. When we're falling to pieces, pleasant company rather than advice
7. Bipolar is a 24-hr fight to stay well
8. Sometimes we might not reach out because we think we’re bothering you or isolating from depression. Still, leave a message or send a text.
9. Don’t judge or feel ill-will towards us if we're isolating because things too overstimulating. We will get back to you when we feel better. Just be patient with us.
10. Please don’t pity us - sometimes the best thing to do is listen to us rant and ask us if we need anything
11. Please learn about bipolar disorder, get educated about it, check out videos, read a book on bipolar disorder
12. It can be achingly lonely without our friends and family, not just the big stuff but the little stuff too.
That's so great, thank you Quantumshepard!!!
Rob offers one on one support on Patreon if you are interested. He also posts more personal information about his day to day struggles like his recent hospital stay. Until September 15th, he is offering free phone calls to patrons. Another Patreon exclusive is Rob hosting and moderating weekly support groups on discord! Take gentle care! 🙏
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to:
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
(H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
@@PolarWarriors Thank you Dianna. I am learning about bipolar disorder to help loved ones struggling with it.
If it hadn’t been for your videos, I’d given up on my bipolar friend long time ago. Thank you for your education. You make things more clear than some doctor with a PhD degree. You’re so valuable. Don’t ever stop making videos.
Don't let this thing beat you. We find more beautiful things in this world than most. Unfortunately we find the most awful as well. We need to focus on the good. I started journaling and photographing anything I find that brings me joy. Sometimes it is the same thing every day but it helps. You got this
I have bipolar and #12 made me cry. You rock.
Damn you're strong, they all made me cry 😋
My partner is bipolar 2 and I can relate to all of these.Just yesterday he felt good after 7 days of being ditached..learning how to get along,be in his support and not to misunderstand him for hurting me.
Im here cause idk what to do anymore. Im 19 & my older bro is 23. I want to be able to reach my brother & get him the help he desperately needs but I don’t know how. He was taking medication, that was the only solution we had for him. Looking back it was for our own selfish reasons so he wouldn’t act erratic or angry against us while it simultaneously just made him even more depressed, but with Corona going on the doctors have us waiting & at this point I know we’re just waiting for the next meltdown. He’s bipolar-schizoaffective. I’m too nervous when I talk to him, I get very anxious myself, I live in a household of 12 people total & this has been troubling everyone for over 3 years now. I love him to death but he hasn’t been the same bro I knew growing up for years now. What pains me the most is I know he’s suffering in silence, and he’ll either suffer in silence some more or just explode & have a serious meltdown. Im scared for the ptsd it might cause my younger siblings who didn’t get to grow up with him the way I did. We’ve tried just about every suggestion over the years, at this point Im wondering if we’re just too ignorant as a family to be able to deal with something as complex as this. We don’t know what to do.
My favorite tip is when you said that we those who are the loveone
are important in your lives that y'all love us and y'all are sorry for what y'all do I don't hear that as much because he is more on the depressive side than the Mania side. He's not abusive at all he's just agitated quickly and depressed. I have learned through your Channel to be patient gentle and more loving towards him. Thank you so much for what you do is really helping our relationship.
Loved all and best is the listening and not judging after the verbal / texting dumping ... still be there to love and support ❤️
Your post made me smile especially the texting and dumping, it has made me question my sanity at times but I intend to hang in there!!!❤
Suffering from type 1 BPD. Been a brutal run. Thank you for this video. It's incredible!
Big brotherly hug to ya!!!
My friends bi polar. She went off her meds for a week. Went back on them. I took her to Safeway. She yelled at me to: "Shut the fuck up and hurry up" (I was crowing at a crow that was cackling). Then in the store she kept talking way louder than normal. Almost yelling. At me and everyone else. I'm half awake and have ptsd. I usually wake up pray and meditate. I don't get up and go go go! But I did for her because I received a text that it was urgent.
Anyway. We get out and I tell her. "When you yelled at me in front of the people you embarrassed me and killed my vibe. I was happy and felt great. Was trying to wake up and be thankful. Then you yelled at half the people in the store. If you're going to go with me you cannot yell at me or other people. You embarrassed me). She denied it. Said she had her ears checked and wasn't changing for anybody.
I said if you want a ride again. Just please be a little gentler. I have high estrogen. I'm getting my trt protocol worked out. Maybe I'm being a little extra sensitive." She snickers and laughs.
I call her on it. She denies it. I figure I've done every positive thing I can from a place of love to try to explain my boundaries.
I look over. She's crying. Then she tells me I can never hear her voice again in real life. We can only text. If she sees me. She stops talking.
What do I do? Let the abuse continue? Block her phone number and move forward? She was a good friend. Not perfect. But good.
There was a fire and I left for 2 months. She went back to her abusive ex who used to be a pimp supposedly? I hate him! But I can't control her choices. I used to call him her abuser. But I stopped because she doesn't want any of us talking about him. He degrades her and uses her. He's a loser. Anyway ❤
Get educated, because if you don't understand the condition, then others can easily make things. Worst
Renee Fulcher YES!!!! Education and cultivating a good sense of self-awareness has been the biggest key to finding stability and happiness in my life. Thank you for checking out the video and join in the conversation! Welcome to the channel :-)
After 18 years i am still try to educate people who are in contact with me.but its hard for them to understand. I am getting tired and angry and loosing more and more people friends and famlee around me.i have a partner for almost 15 years but also he is tired of its always about ME.and i cant blame him.i should never choose to have a relation with a BP person.i am not strong enough to deal with BP.Love my partner with all what i have but i feel like its unfair too love me.he is such a good man .i want for him to have an easy and happy life with not BP problems.i am afraid of loosing him.
I have a question, my brother who is my best friend in the world has Bi polar. without boring everyone with too many details, his mania seems to consistently revolve around criminal thinking and behavior, which has sent him to prison many times. This has led me to feel confused about my own feelings about him. Half the time I know he's sick, and it can manifest in strange ways, the other half I think about all the people who also live with bipolar You don't spend most their adult life in prison. I guess my question is How Can I still show compassion And kindness understanding and forgiveness, at the same time Hold him accountable For his actions,responsibility To remain about his own Health both mental/physical, and not letting bipolar Be the excuse for every Every bad decision/harm caused.
(P.S. Thank you for creating this channel It's helping me navigate through a difficult time)
-Dylan Oswald
@@dylanoswald4245 That's a really tough question Dylan! There are so many factors and I think bipolar is just one. Bipolar mania can make us impulsive but we all don't go out and commit crimes. Alcohol or drug addiction could be a factor, he may also have a personality disorder? It's best to leave the "why's to his lawyers and/or psychiatric team. For you I suggest making sure you cup is full. Grow and learn yourself. If there is any danger of your brother hurting or manipulating you put yourself first and love him from afar. Take care.🙏
- Rob
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My grandma has bipolar disorder it's so hard to keep her happy for a day. Most days she just yells at me. And I have no idea on what to do.
Praying for you.
Oh my goodness this hit home, he did so well. I’m so glad someone shined the light on this!!!
Your videos are really giving me hope right now when things are so ugly. You’re definitely right at those extreme moments when I lash out or push away I really do need someone the most. And these feelings are painfully lonely for sure. Keep up the good work brother. I appreciate what your doing.
What you do is changing lives. Thank you! You have been saying all the things I have been trying to explain to my friends and family.
Thank you so much for this video. I'm glad to know that there are videos like these for people like us. I don't feel alone anymore :)
Thank you for this. I cried at #4 - finally some one puts it into words :)
Thank you, i have so many people in my life with this disorder, and im so glad that you are here to help people like myself, who want to be compassionate and understanding.........Great Job!!!
Yes, I do thank you for having the courage to share 👍
Thank you Rob. These all are important.
Thank you so much. As a friend to someone who is bipolar, this means so much to us. I was searching for help because it is confusing sometimes. ♥️
I LOVE all of these tips . They really help with understanding a person with Bipolar disorder more and helps to take away the pain in misunderstanding from when they can lash out. Thank you so much.
exactly. it doesnt define who we are. so so grateful for your words and the way you put things.
you are absolutely wonderful. I never knew anyone / thing could help. you have. thank you. I hope you have things to do the same for you.
Well said. As usual ;) I'm gonna send this to a few people right now.
Thank you for this video. It gives me something to pass onto family to help them understand what my beautiful son, who was just diagnosed, is going through. I know it is hard on the people who get lashed out at but we do need to remember that the person with this disorder is hurting more intensely than we can really fathom and is so in need of love and understanding.
Amazing advice, thank you for taking the time
The call to educate and showing love in spite of the difficulties ❤
Although i have done a tone of research on Bipolar Disorder since my diagnosis i have found your videos very helpful because there is so much more to it than just the hi's and lows. It's good to have a reminder of what not to do or what to do with the people in our lives. I live with my mom and i know i have put her through hell and every once and a while i forget about how i am affecting her. I have been trying to not take things out on her or drive her crazy so thank you for the reminder and this is a excellent one for family and friends to watch. Good Job!
The reminder of the pain and struggles that bipolar brings. He can't always express it. Thank you so much for being out there.
This is the first video I’ve watched and subscribed straight away! This is something I should have done a long time ago as my partner is diagnosed but chooses not to use medication, I know nothing about and it leads to a lot of misconceptions and thinking I know how to deal with it in the right way but actually I have no idea and I’m ready to throw myself into learning deeply about it - thank you
I don't remember what number but our difficulty with phones was good to hear. I never thought that was part of bipolar. Thank you for your videos.
Very helpful ty Rob !
#12 is my favourite . I need my family and friends , and truly sorry for the times I lashed out at them while I’m crashing . Bottom line is I love them like you said. It was a good reminder for me to appreciate those who truly love and care for me . Needed this today ty again Rob
Thank you so much for this video! I can see now all the things I have done wrong for my friend but now I can be a better friend. And as a type 1 diabetic, I know what it's like when people think you are just your disease and that's so not true! Big hugs for you!
Loved the information and you have a genuine way of giving us tips. I have subscribed because i have been dealing with my older sister for years now, and as she is getting older, it's getting a little worse, but it's good to learn on what to do and also what no to do. I will remember to bring her chocolates !! Keep it up Warrior
Thank you for all you do with this channel. You are helping alot of people. I have bipolar and as i listen to you , i feel not so alone.Thank you for shedding light on this topic.
I have bipolar and this site was referred to me, I appreciate it. It feels like everyone has left my life, i get sad so thanks for cheering me up!
Get educated for sure is the most important tip & listening with no judgment. I have a friend who has bipolar and she's such a sweetheart. I'm trying my best to help her through it and these videos are really helping. Thank you!
Thank you so much you help more than you know dude! My spouse is bipolar and your videos help me understand bipolar disorder and how it affects the one going through it
Thank you have been watching but also learned alot just by watching what my fiance goes through.Positive support is key and also patience at times!
Thank you for making this video.
Thank you, you are so brave. I wish I would as strong as you and pass this light to others too.
Also thanks for everyone who are still here, aside us. I know it is hard, very hard sometimes.
Thanks for keep trying and don’t give up together no matter how hard it is.
Thank you!
Number 6 is one of my favourit tips, that I have told my friends and family alot. Just listen and be there is so important & a few have a hard time with it, because they really want to help even though they cant..
I really love this video ❤👏👏
thank you for these! I desperately want to help and understand my significant other when he is struggling with mental health.
Love this & the new article on ur website
As you & I share the same BP type 1 - I have said this to you before: you are so "on-point". It's as if I could conjure up exactly the right feeling to say to my loved ones...you say it here. And so well. In fact, I'm sharing this video with my friends and family! I really think they will enjoy and benefit from it. Thank you for your dedication.
Your spot on getting education. I wish I found your channel sooner. Several years ago I researched online what bipolar is. I found blanket terminology, not indepth answers and info that you put out here. I pray my wife comes back as I'm much more educated thanks to your videos. Your mild tone and modest explanations are absolutely wonderful for helping me to understand her better. I couldn't thank you enough for what youve taught me. God bless you sir with what you have struggled with and your ability to explain something that is very hard to understand! I couldn't thank you enough!
I am so grateful for your channel. Your content always explains a lot about what I'm going through...
Wow...I think I just found my new favorite video from you! All of your videos are tremendously helpful to me.
So now I have a clearer understanding of what’s happening, when my friend disappears on me for weeks at a time. It doesn’t feel good to me at all when this happens, but I understand it now. My favorite tips are numbers 5, 9, 10 (loves his chocolate every night before going to bed) and number 11, I started educating myself when I first learned that he has bipolar. I just hate that we live in different states, because I can’t hold him when he needs to be held😢
Thank you for your your support and great words of wisdom. I appreciate this video and even thought it was funny. The chocolate part and the part about still being patient and caring. That's a great advise, because yes, it sounds very hard and I would imagine, very hard to deal with. Sorry that life is this way for you guys! But hang in there. You are great! I love all your vids. Thanks for your research, you kindness in openning our eyes and mind to what others may really be going thru and how much we should support our friends and loved ones even in hard time. To God we pray for more discoveries of medicines and research so hopefully this is a preventable illness or there can be a found cure! Xoxo. Thanks! 🙂
Hey thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I have someone close to me that has been diagnosed with Bipolar affective disorder...she's like all of you, very specific and beautiful people, behind the illness. I appreciate your advice and support.
Definitely have to say this channel is by far the best iv come across....being bipolar is so incredibly hard...as you get older and realise this is how its going to be .....wow what a hard thing to swallw.... Your vids are so good keep them coming and thank you :) for newzealand
Thank you for another tremendously helpful video.
The most enlightening one for me was when I don't receive an answer to my calls. It is these times that I get really worried that something is really wrong. Knowing now that my family member may just NEED some space and time alone to heal means I will be less anxious in future.I am learning soo much from your chanel and feel more positive about giving the right care and support . God bless.take care 😊
you are awesome. i have a friend suffering from bipolar disorder and depression. she is having a hard time and sometimes, i dont know if im doing anything right to help her. your video helped me a lot in order to understand and know how to accompany her better through this journey. God bless you!
The listening. It's amazing how much better you feel when someone just listens.Feels good knowing someone actually cares enough just to listen. Those moments I don't want advice or it to be fixed. I just need to get it out before I can see the other side of things.
That u said you loved and needed us because sometimes we as family feel so far away and dont know how to help..thank you for clearing that up and helping me understand that as much as I get pushed away ..I am still reaching you
Thank you! I was having a hard time understanding my friend, he was just pushing me away for no reason, but now I understand better :)
I have something to say you are most welcome. Stop by the channel anytime 😊😊
I love your vids, it truly helps me in my day to day with a bipolar daughter... I truly loved her and would want to educate myself so I will have a better understanding on how and what not to things, God Bless you!
Number 5 is my favorite. I tend to push off people, but reality is I am in dire need of help.
Thank you for putting those up those 12 for us, I also like that you said we are People with Bipolar DO and not Bipolar Person.
Thank you very much for shedding dome light on a subject. 35 years being on this earth im struggling just few days ago at the bottom of a bottom after manic episode i went online to last time start looking for help before i end my misery. Came accros video about bipolar and hypersexual disorder after watching many videos where all subjects perfectly fitted into my lifetime of hell i can say there's a hope and light at the end of this tunnel. I'M NOT ALONE IN THIS WORLD it's such a overwhelming feeling of relief!!!! This week I'm going to see a doctor and hopefully he can point me in the right direction. Biggest fear i have how to tell my spouse about it but I'm definitely will let her watch as many videos where all subjects are explained. There will be shame guilt resentment hate and i can't even imagine what else she will face but i have hope that we can survive and work towards better future. Thank you again and stay strong people x
Omg I needed to hear that, iv got family that just don't get this, n iv had it for bout 20 plus years. Thank you 4 this
Shared this video with my friends and family I've been trying to help them understand our world
Thank you so much for helping advocate for the illness! We need more people like you - talking about it with friends and family. This will not only help you, but anyone else they might meet along the way who have Bipolar Disorder. Hope you have a GREAT start to your week =)
-Rob
Love your videos ! They are really helpful and for the first time in my life I don’t feel alone with my bipolar disorder it’s good to see someone like you helping not only people suffering from bipolar disorder but also people around them and how to handle it. Thanks for making my days better and life a bit easier
Antonia Dygant Yay!!!! Thank you so much for such a fantastic comment! That is exactly exactly why I am here… When I was crashing, I was trying to find some resources that could help me and I was surprised how difficult it was. I thought it would be great to start a channel that talks about actual tools or information that could help people along their journey instead of just talking about how challenging it is. It has been amazing for my own therapeutic experience. Stop by anytime and thank you for joining the conversation in the comments :-)
Thank you so much for this. My father does not believe he has a problem. It's been a struggle trying to get him help as he stops taking his meds and refuses mood stabalizers. Realise I have to take a step back as he is not his illness. Educated myself on bipolar and I have learnt to enjoy his company whether he's on a high or low. Love him so much.