chucky nah it’s the same for African Americans. It’s not what they should be called , but for some reason a lot of immigrants tend to leave it . Normally, I think, if born here it’s just an American .
I was on another comment section from a segment he did with Conan and a lot of people in the comment section were saying he's a racist piece of shit, so I type in Bert Kriescher racism to see what everybody was on about and this is what I get? Fucking Christ people are really sensitive and soft.
Don’t forget the Italian parents 😂 My best friend is Mexican and I swear the main reason we became friends was because we bonded over how our parents would discipline us as kids 😂
This was before he was the fattest comedian, he was still the most racist but now he has achieved the status of being both the FATTEST and most RACIST!
You are probably a flat earther too! Lol sorry but,..... Really? Fake video? LMMFAO! Can't believe I even scrolled down long enough to have seen your comment now about to pee myself laughing! TY
Old comment i know, bit if youve never laughed at an adam sandler movie then something js wrong with you. Sure his later movies are geared towards kids. But, Happy Gilmore? Billy madison? Little Nicky? The classics are fantastic
@@lovelyscrubI understand everyone has different expectations, but in my opinion he's the same character in every movie, he has no acting range, and he's doing a kinda savage, unintelligent type of comedy. There are so many great comedies, so he's sitting on the bottom. He's very avarage, compare to comedians like Steve Martin, Bill Murray, Monty Python, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, RIchard Pryor, Chavy Chase, Kevin Smith and so on.
@@tamnicco to say he has no acting range is just wrong, even if it's your opinion. Go watch Uncut Gems, amd if youve already seen it and you still say he has no range, then i dont even know how to respond to that
@@lovelyscrub my opinion is not wrong, it's just different from yours, and he was always known as a bad actor, he was always critised for that. Anyway we talked about his comedies, especially in his prime, he always played the same character, this dimwitted man-child with a big heart. Uncut gems and couple of other movies are exceptions, doesn't describe his career. . Actors like DeNiro, Al Pacino, Edward Furlong, Brad Pitt, Gary Oldman, DiCaprio and so on, they are great actors, they had highly acclaimed films from the very beginning, they have a skillset and acting range. Actors, like Sandlers who made fortune on cheap comedies, can be put in the same category with Rob Schneider, Dwayne Johnson, Ashton Kutcher, Charlie Sheen, Nicolas Cage etc. It's not even hard to find aricles and videos about him and his acting, but if you like him, it's your business, totally fine, just don't want to convince me that he's a good actor.
@@tamnicco No your opinion is wrong as it can be proven so by factual evidence, aka Uncut Gems. We were talking about his acting range, and how it's nonexistent according to you. However, his range is from dumb elementary fart jokes to to profound dramatic roles. Those are to very different types of performances on the opposite ends of the spectrum. I understand the concept of the exception is not the rule, but in this case if the exception exists then rule is false. This case being that he allegedly has no range as the rule. You can dislike him as an actor, comedian, personality whatever, and thats totally fine man. But you can't say that he has no range because that is simply not true. Its not a matter of opinion. You could argue that he isnt a good actor in his dramatic roles, but that isnt what we're taking about
Would you say that... you are... triggered? Triggered that other people are triggered that other people are triggered? Does that mean i'm triggered that you're triggered about other people being triggered about triggered people? This has gone too far
Latina moms are crazy. I one time was goofing around in the house and my mama (a short Puerto Rican lady) yelled at me to stop. I kept goofing around and next thing I know there's a slipper flying towards my head. Don't do anything stupid with Latina moms...you'll either see the slipper or the wooden spoon.
Mia Grace My brother and I had boots launched at us,been smacked in the face in public one time I was hit with a golf club.eventually my parents just stopped hitting us cuz it didn’t work 😂
Beware of the flying slipper! Ever think you got away with something and then hours later you'd be sitting and enjoying TV, when all of a sudden you'd be hit with the flying slipper and your mom would say,"Thought I didn't see you before?"
It's unreal how a comedian like him can take a Dora thing and run with it. Brilliant !!😂 Prob sitting there with kids watching and his wheels kept turning. Mad that's good shit.
I’ve seen Bert giggle. It was a pleasure. Especially when he does it because things just spiraled out of his control and he doesn’t know what to do, lol… you all should see that clip of him at a cattle/steer auction.. 😂
Bert, you are one standup guy I can’t get enough of your hilarious jokes. The one about having Mexican daughters really got me going! Seriously brother you are too funny.
Why would he be afraid? He's not disrespectful and he's actually helping Mexicans integrate themselves more into society by telling actual funny jokes about them.
This was posted before Ralphie May’s Comedy Central Standup from 2017 where he said the exact same joke as the Dora Joke Bert did. Ralphie said he was high, and watching his kids, and that (like him) they’re TV Junkies. So, they were watching Dora, and Ralphie noticed how racist dora was. If you haven’t seen the video go look it up right now.
Barely recognized him with his shirt on
Thormund Giantsbane hes the machine
TOTALLY not A COP lmao
I was thinking the same exact thing, he's thinner too
Not natural...gotta let your shit breathe.
TOTALLY not A COP lmao!
So I hear you are the machine.
я машина
I'm dead!
It would be an honor to do a shot with the machine
@Skull Knight yo let me in on this friendship but only if the machine joins it
nice
I'm a Mexican American citizen and I find this offensive
because Lowrider cars and gangs were not mentioned
Mexican-American citizen? Lol 😆
Bruh you spelled offensive wrong
chucky yeah it’s not that hard to understand.
@@Odvic i thought it was just called an American citizen not a Mexican-American citizen.
chucky nah it’s the same for African Americans. It’s not what they should be called , but for some reason a lot of immigrants tend to leave it . Normally, I think, if born here it’s just an American .
Took me two minutes before I realized why I was uncomfortable. Too much shirt.
more cowbell....less shirt
@@corywiedenbeck1562 he usally doesn't wear a shirt
99% of the comments are about other people getting offended.
1% are off people saying THE MACHINE!
0% Are of people getting offended
The M A C H I N E
THE MACHINE!
mmm, what sbout the % of people getting confused by the shirt he's wearing. Bert Kreischer is wearing a shirt.
I'm offended
@@kylewinterroth4270 you offend me by being offended! 😂😂😂
Its the machine
No,
He's
THE MACHINE!!!!!
Fuck that bitch this is Russia
so I hear you are the Machine?!
Tonight, you party with us
By Strength And guile SBS fuck that bitch this is rusarra
anything with a good tan about 4 feet tall just stops
“Everything with a good tan under four feet y’all just stops” dawg I’m a grown ass adult and I still check to see if I’m the one getting yelled at. 😂
"alright let's talk about Mexicans"
DeathBoyX1 are we talking about deporting the illegal ones....
Youre Mom my truck gives my stance on the argument away
if they are anything like the CUBANS then i freakin LOVE them
DeathBoyX1 damn💀💀
@@susanneskadetsinnverdilsek5901 Statistics bro, back your shit up with proof otherwise you're just another blow hard
I'm offensive and I find this Mexican
BigT 187 this is the best thing ive read all day!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
lmao! orale!
Haha
You mind fucked me for about 5 seconds there, so imma give you a like
All the races but the mexicans: ANGER
My fellow mexicans: HA! THE GORDO IS RIGHT
true jajajja
La macina
Neta güey nothing but facts
The gordo 😂 🤣
Truth
Before he was “The Machine” he was “La Maquina” and he usted to hang out with Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán
I'm mexican and everything he's saying is right lmao
Jellyfish Queen like this would 100% happen in Juarez. we're that great
totally! love it!
Same 😭😂
He forgot the part where the mom cussis the kid out and whacks him on the head
Us Mexicans don't give a shit what its about, we just like to be represented.
Why all the non Mexicans offended 😂
CommunistWombat sovietwomble?
I was on another comment section from a segment he did with Conan and a lot of people in the comment section were saying he's a racist piece of shit, so I type in Bert Kriescher racism to see what everybody was on about and this is what I get? Fucking Christ people are really sensitive and soft.
not Mexicans: offended
Mexicans: laughing their ass off yelling same
🤣🤣🤣
Ikr lmao
"And everything with a good tan under 4ft tall just stops" lol
Can confirm lmao
A lady at Kohls yelled "VEN ACA CABRÓN" and I was like pre-programmed to just start walking without realizing or hesitation
"Pulled out a knife, stabbed him in the heart."
That bit was worked to a fucking T.
I'm latino and this sht so funny and true
so latino moms do stab their kids?
Huy Le yep
@Ari Ancheta He did not. He just didn't ring the bell :)))
@@HuyLe2607 yes with da chancla *bwaaa*
@@HuyLe2607 they do
Clicked it because the thumbnail looks like Danny McBride...stayed because it was Bert Kreischer
rransomm so you don't read titles lol
I thought the same thing lol
It's not Bert Kreischer.. it's THE MACHINE
I feel like Bert learned how to roll his Rs and was like “ok now it’s time for my Spanish jokes “ 😂😂
Don’t forget the Italian parents 😂
My best friend is Mexican and I swear the main reason we became friends was because we bonded over how our parents would discipline us as kids 😂
Lmao vero 😂
Don't forget Irish parents I have an Irish Mom and I am scared of the spoon
Hahaha so true 👍
Jesus Christ is Lord. Please take your salvation seriously. It is all True. Read the Bible and do what it says. It's more important than you know//
Mexicans and Italians are just the same product from different brands
Fake video! he's wearing a shirt!! not the real machine!!! xD
This was before he was the fattest comedian, he was still the most racist but now he has achieved the status of being both the FATTEST and most RACIST!
hahaha!!!!
You are probably a flat earther too! Lol sorry but,..... Really? Fake video? LMMFAO! Can't believe I even scrolled down long enough to have seen your comment now about to pee myself laughing! TY
Andy T u serious rn?
Flat earther
Yoooo when he said black kids are like....beyotch I lost it 😂😂😂
Seriously first time Adam Sandler ever made me laugh
Old comment i know, bit if youve never laughed at an adam sandler movie then something js wrong with you. Sure his later movies are geared towards kids. But, Happy Gilmore? Billy madison? Little Nicky? The classics are fantastic
@@lovelyscrubI understand everyone has different expectations, but in my opinion he's the same character in every movie, he has no acting range, and he's doing a kinda savage, unintelligent type of comedy. There are so many great comedies, so he's sitting on the bottom. He's very avarage, compare to comedians like Steve Martin, Bill Murray, Monty Python, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, RIchard Pryor, Chavy Chase, Kevin Smith and so on.
@@tamnicco to say he has no acting range is just wrong, even if it's your opinion. Go watch Uncut Gems, amd if youve already seen it and you still say he has no range, then i dont even know how to respond to that
@@lovelyscrub my opinion is not wrong, it's just different from yours, and he was always known as a bad actor, he was always critised for that. Anyway we talked about his comedies, especially in his prime, he always played the same character, this dimwitted man-child with a big heart. Uncut gems and couple of other movies are exceptions, doesn't describe his career.
. Actors like DeNiro, Al Pacino, Edward Furlong, Brad Pitt, Gary Oldman, DiCaprio and so on, they are great actors, they had highly acclaimed films from the very beginning, they have a skillset and acting range. Actors, like Sandlers who made fortune on cheap comedies, can be put in the same category with Rob Schneider, Dwayne Johnson, Ashton Kutcher, Charlie Sheen, Nicolas Cage etc.
It's not even hard to find aricles and videos about him and his acting, but if you like him, it's your business, totally fine, just don't want to convince me that he's a good actor.
@@tamnicco No your opinion is wrong as it can be proven so by factual evidence, aka Uncut Gems. We were talking about his acting range, and how it's nonexistent according to you. However, his range is from dumb elementary fart jokes to to profound dramatic roles. Those are to very different types of performances on the opposite ends of the spectrum. I understand the concept of the exception is not the rule, but in this case if the exception exists then rule is false. This case being that he allegedly has no range as the rule. You can dislike him as an actor, comedian, personality whatever, and thats totally fine man. But you can't say that he has no range because that is simply not true. Its not a matter of opinion. You could argue that he isnt a good actor in his dramatic roles, but that isnt what we're taking about
When he rang the bell i already knew the reaction of the kid and the reaction of the parent, had me crying.
I don’t understand why people are offended because other people are offended 😑
Lulu Blue Nobody understands, all we can do is bash our heads into our desks repeatedly and hope its a joke.
Would you say that... you are... triggered? Triggered that other people are triggered that other people are triggered? Does that mean i'm triggered that you're triggered about other people being triggered about triggered people? This has gone too far
Lulu Blue I
You offended me by being offended at people being offended at people being offended
Lulu Blue just to be offended
In german tv dora is speaking english.
Socken Kekse in Mexico dora speeks english to
In America she speaks 90% English and when she needs something she teaches you the Spanish words. Weird how they didn't change it for localization.
Socks cooks
Your kidding right thats great
Norwegian to
You can see Latina moms do sixteen hit combos with la chancla like they're in Street Fighter Alpha.
Latina moms are crazy. I one time was goofing around in the house and my mama (a short Puerto Rican lady) yelled at me to stop. I kept goofing around and next thing I know there's a slipper flying towards my head. Don't do anything stupid with Latina moms...you'll either see the slipper or the wooden spoon.
Mine hit my brother with a pot she was just using and it was hot 😂
@@jasonalvarado7029 Damn...and I thought the slipper was bad...
Mia Grace My brother and I had boots launched at us,been smacked in the face in public one time I was hit with a golf club.eventually my parents just stopped hitting us cuz it didn’t work 😂
La Chancla?
Beware of the flying slipper! Ever think you got away with something and then hours later you'd be sitting and enjoying TV, when all of a sudden you'd be hit with the flying slipper and your mom would say,"Thought I didn't see you before?"
Literally no one in the comments is offended, but every comment is "why everyone so offended"
Go back to reddit
I hate reddit. Your comment is utterly offensive.😉
You ate their pasta
Sounds like you're the only offended one here lmao
If he did this in 2020 sad people on Twitter with no lifes could cancel him
They cancel people for past jokes too
I'm Mexican we don't care, we like to laugh
"Everything under 4 feet with a tan froze" killed me
Moms have that backhand that when it connects you'd swear you're hearing a thunderclap.
he is so funny. I love him
Riley Butterfield i love you
Generic on 2 Wheel's _ That was pathetic
Riley Butterfield SUP Same last name
He is funny, but there are to many thin skinned people out here after reading the comments.
Riley, you are gorgeous!
I just love how the story gets gradually more and more outrageous, so it’s hard to notice until the very end.
"pulled out a knife, stabbed him in the heart".. bahaha.. I laughed out so hard at that part.
It's unreal how a comedian like him can take a Dora thing and run with it. Brilliant !!😂 Prob sitting there with kids watching and his wheels kept turning. Mad that's good shit.
"Make a move marico" ...lmfao
Bruh the part “shu lied to me” “ pulled out a knife and stabbed him in the heart” XDDDDDDDD
I’m Mexican and I’m not offended at all, my mom stabs me in the heart all the time!!! And I came out alright...
Right 😂 these non Mexicans are soft
"And the black kids are like BYATCH"
As a Mexican, this shit is the funniest thing I've heard. Keep em coming
You guys loved Mencia too, you have shit taste in comedy mexico.
That kid got off easy, because at least he didnt get "the chancla"
That's what I'm sayin'! ...and how you KNOW it's not a true story.😁
The worst enemy
This was so spot on. Could not have been any better
2019 and for me still ... "You're the machine!!!"
This is when Bert was still a caterpillar, before he metamorphosisisis'd into a beautiful butterfly and started doing gigs with no shirt on.
Sounds kinda like, *"It's the Border Patrolllllllll who lives under the briiiiiiiidge"*
If Dora was real, she'd be pregnant and have sharpie eyebrows.
@Nunya Business wow. Found the racists
Nunya Business I don’t get it, what’s the joke?
@@ragemonkey117 ,wow, found the humorless Karen.
Nunya Business that went racist quick lmao
@@ghettomedic9971 wow found the dumbass
when he quoted the boy saying "make your move mericon" i fucking lost it
Literally
Can somebody animate this pls
@@harey3070 no reason, must animate
omg please!!!!!!!!
Just use your damn imagination...
YAAÀAHHHH!!!!! it's the machine....Hello from Jamaica.
People need to understand that no one takes a joke better than a Mexican. This guy is hilarious!!!
I've re watched this so many times I've lost count 😂
"Alright let's talk about Mexicans."
This is going to be a great video
Asshole 😂
I need to stop watching these videos while doing my morning/night routines. I almost choked on my mouthwash 😂
This is such a great bit
I’ve seen Bert giggle. It was a pleasure. Especially when he does it because things just spiraled out of his control and he doesn’t know what to do, lol… you all should see that clip of him at a cattle/steer auction.. 😂
Where he accidentally buys a cow? 😆 Yep haha great clip
Stabbed him in the heart
If you're offended go back to watching fidget spinner videos in your "safe space"
Legends Always Die agreed
Or cry closet
Only the non mexican are getting offended lol
🤣🤣🤣🤣
it's funny because white people get offended more often over stupid shit
Lol I'm part Mexican and this is really funny to me. Especially about the Mexican moms. So true!
Love the pause at the end , great shit 😂😅😂
1:45 I live in Connecticut, This is quite accurate.
I rarely use this word, but this man is a genius. LOVE this stuff. And you have not LIVED until you have seen his The Machine story. OMG! Beautiful.
Bert, you are one standup guy I can’t get enough of your hilarious jokes. The one about having Mexican daughters really got me going! Seriously brother you are too funny.
So true about Connecticut!!
Born and raised
3:14 How to make friends in Spore
IM DEAD 🤣🤣🤣
“Everything with a good tan under four feet tall stops.”
This dude is the funniest guy i have ever watched!!
As a mexican i find this hella funny
Jesus Christ is Lord. Please take your salvation seriously. It is all True. Read the Bible and do what it says. It's more important than you know//
I never thought Bert was funny til I seen this 😂😭😂🤣
And I’m Mexican 🇲🇽 🇺🇸
Lmao you brought me out of my depression with that butterfly knife to the heart reenactment 😂😂
yay!!!
Its funny we all knew it was a butterfly knife.
I moved from CT to AZ and this is entirely accurate
I watched the Ralphie May joke about Dora & the punch line was completely different. How do ppl not know the difference?
wow. just discovered this guy. brilliant.
4:52 somebody is gonna get hurt reeaal baaaad!!!
Majd Aasee I understood that reference.
Crazy how time flies. That was my first intro to stand up comedy.
Mad how this just popped up after Bert talking about it on the post
This is great. A white dude who's not afraid to joke and is good at it.
Why would he be afraid? He's not disrespectful and he's actually helping Mexicans integrate themselves more into society by telling actual funny jokes about them.
@@fullchicken4492 Because lonely fat white women on twitter with neon hair will get mad and accuse him of everything you can think of lmao
I keep thinking of Kenny Powers with a haircut
As a Mexican-American woman, I approve! I laughed my ass off!
You're not american, hop back over the border subhuman.
My WiFi glitched out exactly when evee
Everything stopped so it timed perfectly!
Bert : “Alright... Lets talk about Mexicans.”
Me : *Sí?*
*Everytime this dude yellin his name scared the hell out of me. lmao*
This is sooo true. I'm Latina and he's hilarious.
beautiful !
Looks and sounds a bit like the machine, but this guys wearing a shirt
As a Mexican this is fucking hilarious for me, especially the Dora joke!😂
Dam alcohol has fucked him up..he looks healthy here
From 2009 to 2019 Bert really blew up.. God damn 😂 good thing he got on T
The Machine!
I have never seen this man with a shirt on! Just wow!
omfg I haven't laughed this hard in forever, just non-stop with this guy
🤣🤣
As a Mexican I can confirm. That this is accurate.
When I clicked on this video I wanted to be offended but it was WAAAYYYY TOO FUNNY😂🤣😆
😂😂i just kept thinking of my mom- 😅which i should be careful rn.... she could come any minute and find me wide awake.
Lol it's not racist, don't get offended whoever is... Well leave. I'm Hispanic and it's funnay af dying rn
Dre and Diego coconut
thanks, professor
Ayeoooo the last one was funny af😂😂😂🇲🇽
This was pretty epic
This was posted before Ralphie May’s Comedy Central Standup from 2017 where he said the exact same joke as the Dora Joke Bert did.
Ralphie said he was high, and watching his kids, and that (like him) they’re TV Junkies. So, they were watching Dora, and Ralphie noticed how racist dora was. If you haven’t seen the video go look it up right now.
I'm Hispanic and this is funny as hell 🤣
Tom already said bert is low key racist but he also said he's fixing him lol
Best story teller...