From Stand Up Comic and host of The Travel Channels "Bert The Conqueror" Bert Kreischer comes this clip from his hit DVD "Comfortably Dumb" about Bert's
No lie, I fell in the shower this morning and Bert is right. There is a brief moment where you're cognizant of the fact that you're falling and your brain starts looking for solutions before crunch time. Before my feet completely slipped out from under me, I legit looked at the shower curtain, remembered this exact clip, said "that won't save me", and down I went 😅
That was actually really good, I know Bert dunks on himself sometimes about his older work, but this was great. You can here his comedic voice the same way he tells stories now
I like Bert, he's not unfunny here. But he's at his funniest when he's just talking, because he's a naturally funny guy . Like, that's most standup comedy to be honest though. Like, stories are so much funny when it's just the one on one.
@@SighNaps or he just got a deeper voice by age. I don't know if alcohol does that. but I don't remember him saying he smoked but if he did I wouldn't be surprised.
I fell in the shower trying to get out, its over a bath.. it was a doozy I broke my nose blacked both my eyes chipped a tooth and sprained my wrist.. I went down like a baby elephant, my mum came running, seen me and just burst into hysterical laughter, so after I got my wind back I started laughing, mostly because I couldn't get up... the laughing didn't last long when I saw my blood covered face in the mirror in fact that's when the crying started, mine not mums that bitch is still laughing
I just can't imagine as a man getting fat I would lay on the railroad tracks no man under 6 feet tall should weigh over 200 lb unless they're professional bodybuilder I guess
Comfortably Dumb is EASILY Bert's best stand-up special. I hate that he shits on it on some podcasts. This was the thing that let everyone know Hurt Bert and Bert the Conqueror was actually a legit stand-up. Not only was he a great, loveable TV show host, he was a great comic. Bert seems to have forgotten that after all the influence from Joe Rogan. Bert is a WAY better comic and TV show host than Rogan. The Netflix specials where his wife get's to have artistic input on the edits is real Yoko Ono shit. And it is a HUGE downgrade from this special and the live shows. It's a huge mistake letting Karen edit your comedy special big boy. Worst case scenario, divorce, you get to fuck Adriana Chechik. And possibly marry her because you fall in love, because it is that good.
I laughed at this waaaaaaay harder than I should have.
Holy moley hes wearing a shirt
Ehh half on half off
, ' .
Two actually
11 years ago 🙄
No lie, I fell in the shower this morning and Bert is right. There is a brief moment where you're cognizant of the fact that you're falling and your brain starts looking for solutions before crunch time. Before my feet completely slipped out from under me, I legit looked at the shower curtain, remembered this exact clip, said "that won't save me", and down I went 😅
That was actually really good, I know Bert dunks on himself sometimes about his older work, but this was great. You can here his comedic voice the same way he tells stories now
CUZ' I'M MARRIED TO YOU AND I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.
This one is going to be a life-long keeper.
"It's slippery dippery dunk" LMAO!
Dude is a genius giving our survival instincts life of their own.
I laughed so hard I almost choked to death
i'm crying 😂😂 this guy is hilarious!
The hardest I have laughed in so long
I have a cramp in my side from laughing and I'm cryingXD
@ rockpyl
YOU CANNOT STOP THE MACHINE!!!
I almost choked on my hot pocket because of this
God this is old one of my favorite jokes I love Bert he’s my Personal all time favorite thanks for all the best laughs over the years Bert!
I also fell in the shower trying wash my foot.
oh man I am so tired watching this and I literally just cry laughed for five minutes after the "grab the curtain" part. Funniest shit ever man!
I like Bert, he's not unfunny here. But he's at his funniest when he's just talking, because he's a naturally funny guy . Like, that's most standup comedy to be honest though. Like, stories are so much funny when it's just the one on one.
Hey bert. You are a bloody fucking legend.
I was cracking up, so funny!
"Shampoo bottle go up your ass"
-bert
Three video clips in, and now I know I why I recognize this dude.
#themachine
love you berty
Respect man respect
I can't remember when the last time I laughed this hard was, 😂😂😂
the machine!!!
This gives me hope...
The moment he went “NYHEEEEEEE” I fucking died
I just love it so much so funny
his voiced dropped an octave since this... Wtf?
+Travis Hunt CZcams PhD
A massive amount of vodka and menthol cigarettes will do that.
@@SighNaps or he just got a deeper voice by age. I don't know if alcohol does that. but I don't remember him saying he smoked but if he did I wouldn't be surprised.
@@XenoTravis i dont think voices change by aging but cigarettes and alcohol will definently do that.
@@twichy6438 by definition they change by age and location.
audio pitch change to avoid copyright
MY HERO
I just saw this guy on an old Joe Rogan podcast. Really glad I checked him out! XD
Because I’m married to you and I don’t care what I look like anymore.😂😂😂.
The machine!
1:59 he sound like a rubber chicken
Powerful Bert Kreischer
powerful bert kreischer
BERT!
2:08 I'm dead.
Do the Master Cleanse.
Lmfao you're it 😅🤣
Fuck it he's THE MACHINEEEEEEEE
Holy shit I hurt I was laughing so hard
I'm dying.
Wife: WHY WOULD YOU FALL!? Me: gravity.
Can somebody please tell me where I can download the full special?
I fell in the shower trying to get out, its over a bath.. it was a doozy I broke my nose blacked both my eyes chipped a tooth and sprained my wrist.. I went down like a baby elephant, my mum came running, seen me and just burst into hysterical laughter, so after I got my wind back I started laughing, mostly because I couldn't get up... the laughing didn't last long when I saw my blood covered face in the mirror in fact that's when the crying started, mine not mums that bitch is still laughing
😂😂😂😂😂 aww
1:10
the machine
" cause I'm married to you and IDC what I look like anymore"....holy sweet Jesus aint that the truth
All these podcasts must be helping his popularity.
GO NOLES!!!!
THE MACHINE !
Oh man. i found a funny guy :D
Who's going to tell him all the Bear chasers would be aaall over him
Funny thing is
If we fell
I’d laugh 😂
YA MACHINA
Adam Sandler in 144p is funny as well.
TRUE STORY
😂😂😂😂😂😂 1:09
does anyone notice a style similarity him and Daniel Tosh have with delivery?
Has anyone ever noticed that he looks like Homer Simpson?
DOH I mean NO
not anymore 😂😂
Anyone hear his Russia trip story?
No. Tell me it.
look it up "The Machine - Bert Kreischer"
Doughlol jesus
How could you ask about "the machine"
you are doomed by THE MACHINE
Who the fuck hasn't lol.
Bear bottom
Did someone fall asleep writing the descripti
Bert looked so much cleaner here
So I hear you’re the machine... 🤔
I'm so fat I sit in the shower. XD
I am gay and I’d totally fall for this guy.
Thats kinda gay bro
Little does he know how much worse it gets
1:09
It’s weird to see him with a shirt on
Ha!! Don’t think a fat guy won’t cheat on you!! Ask me how I know this.
I need to stop watching comedy late at night
@MichaeldbLinton im also underrated
I also have a wife like this
So there was a time when you used to be a normal human and use a shower not a pool
He thought he was fat back then...poor bert.
He’s as funny as Joe Rogan. Exactly.
He actually looks kind of skinny in this video and like Adam Sandler
hes so thin compared to now
He's not fat though.
He's skinny fat
Hurt Krier
I like his comedy, unfortunately I had an ad with Chris Hartman walking the streets for his pimp Chase.
I just can't imagine as a man getting fat I would lay on the railroad tracks no man under 6 feet tall should weigh over 200 lb unless they're professional bodybuilder I guess
Comfortably Dumb is EASILY Bert's best stand-up special. I hate that he shits on it on some podcasts. This was the thing that let everyone know Hurt Bert and Bert the Conqueror was actually a legit stand-up. Not only was he a great, loveable TV show host, he was a great comic. Bert seems to have forgotten that after all the influence from Joe Rogan. Bert is a WAY better comic and TV show host than Rogan. The Netflix specials where his wife get's to have artistic input on the edits is real Yoko Ono shit. And it is a HUGE downgrade from this special and the live shows. It's a huge mistake letting Karen edit your comedy special big boy. Worst case scenario, divorce, you get to fuck Adriana Chechik. And possibly marry her because you fall in love, because it is that good.
secret time is very good
He got more attractive with time
There's 666 likes
Almost as bad as Joe Rogans standup
wut?
Samuel L. Jackson his new one is much better
THE MACHINE!
It’s weird to see him with a shirt on