What Does Authoritarian Parenting Look Like?
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- čas přidán 11. 06. 2024
- Conscious parent coach Donna Moala takes us through the characteristics of authoritarian parenting. We chat about what it looks like at 3,10 & 15 years of age and the impact it has on the kid and their relationship.
I am 34 and over the past year, I have been realizing that yes, I had a bad childhood. My whole life I told every therapist that I had a great childhood, it was fine. It was not. I had a very emotionally immature father who was Authoratarian and had an explosive temper. Spankings, punishments, yelling, screaming, throwing things, he put his hands around my throat once..... I see the damage it's done to me. I've struggled, my whole life. I barely passed college and it took me 9 years to complete because my mental health was horrible but my parents "didn't believe in mental health", so I just hated myself. Now though, I can breathe, I am a good person, and I am undoing all the learned behaviors that I learned from my parents, bc my mom wasn't much better but was a little better. I remember her saying things to me as a kid like "if you are going to cry, i'll give you a reason to cry" or "if i say it's raining cats and dogs, it's fucking raining cats and dogs, you hear me" but she was more of a low voice vs yelling. But when everything was going okay, it was decently good. i have good childhood moments, but I have a lot that was and even more that I just do not remember at all. It sucks. I am still mourning the life I COULD have had if I had supportive, loving parents that maybe weren't perfect, but they learned and grew as parents. I didn't deserve what they put me through. It turned me into a people pleaser with no boundaries, no backbone, and who hated herself for 33 years. NO MORE! And if I do have kids, I know that I will have a healed heart and head on my shoulders and ready to be a better parents, an emotionally available parent with a secure style and all the empathy and love and support.
Thankyou for sharing and I’m glad you have found some peace through the hard work of learning and healing.