How to get respect from the French
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- čas přidán 1. 02. 2023
- Some people believe the French are rude.
Usually, though, that stems from a cultural misunderstanding, differences in the way the French see the world around them and the way maybe you do.
Allow me to peel back a layer or two of the French mentality to give you a peek into ways you can get the French to respect you. I'm not talking simple little tips like always saying 'Bonjour' and 'merci' here -- I'm talking about understanding some deep-rooted differences when it comes to things like personal space and politeness.
Understand how personal space is different in France, particularly in shops and cafes, where respecting boundaries is crucial. The French prioritize refinement and respect. Acknowledging others regardless of language barriers is important, with politeness being more important than fluency in French. Adapt to the French concept of time, where punctuality varies depending on the context -- and where work-life balance is highly valued. Recognize the dual levels of conversation in France, between polite exchanges and engaging in playful debates.
** Shot on an iPhone, edited on an iPad with LumaFusion **
Music via Artlist.io
- "Arriba!" by Randy Sharp
- "Bank Robbery Escape" by Jakub Pietras
- "Goodness Gracious" by Louis Adrien
- "Carnaval" by Stefano Mastronardi
- "DABOOMJIGGLE" by Out of Flux
- "Tribe of Fire" by Noa Zulu
- "Paris" by Serge Quadrado
- "For a Fistful of Spaghetti" by Sémø
- "Thought You Should Know" by Jim Swim
- "Comme Ci Comme Ca" by Terry Poison
- "Jambo Mambo" by River Lume
- "Nice and Easy" by Louis Adrien
- "March of the Toy Soldiers" by Ace
Hi, thank you for your videos which are charming and informative. My first visit to Paris next month and I am sure it will be a marvellous adventure. Your Oz video was fair dinkum also.🙂
Many thanks Stephen! I put my effort into the videos (but I guess that's true for every videomaker on CZcams, especially the ones on Paris). Paris is a multifaceted carpet that rolls out in front of you. So many 'alternative realities' to explore, according to what you want from the city. Enjoy your Paris adventure!
Absolutely spot on with the politeness/acknowledgment/formal aspect. I was in a cheese shop being helped by the assistant, the owner came out from the back of the shop and said “bonjour monsieur” even though I was standing with my back to him. My daughter who was with me, was astounded by that politeness!
It's also a reflex politeness... like so many things we grow up doing every day since children -- it really does shape how we interact
As a Canadian who lived and worked in Paris for 20 year your video is spot on. I had to expain these points to Canadians many times, good job!
Glad to hear confirmation! It is this whole world under the surface, but a lot of fun to navigate...
A smart, funny, accurate guide to interacting with "The French." Merci et Bravo!
Merci, c'est bien apprécie ! Glad to hear I hit the mark
I really love your videos, thank you for taking the time to make them.
Thanks Liraz, glad you enjoy them. I'm working on my latest one...
Absolutely love your videos - and your elegance
Lovely message -- thank you for the very kind comment. Elegant? I don't know (I have been known to spill coffee on me!)
Great video, enjoyed every second
Glad you enjoyed it
Plein de bonne énergies a tous ! Super video ! KISS FROM PARIS 🇫🇷 🇫🇷 🇫🇷
Merci ZEN7 !
Your content is really excellent ! Love the quick stare after the Italian/French wine debate 😂😊❤!!!
Ha! You noticed that!
There’s no comparison, is there! I love French wine 🍷 😍🎉!!!
About level 2 interactions, yes, we love arguying. It can get heated but we know there are no hard feelings at the end. And you're right, we sometimes argue just for the sake of arguying. We love witty spirits. It is a mix of using reasonable arguments, a showcase of our knowledge of a topic (a bit of pedantry), and the mastering of rethorics.
I'm glad you agree! France is a gym for intellectual discussions: a place to build mental muscles, and also with a bit of posing going on...
Bonjour et merci (see, I was paying attention 🙂). I so enjoy your topical, humorous and intelligent videos. When entering a small shop (or anywhere) is it still okay to say, "Messieurs, dames, bonjour!"?
Absolutely. To be encouraged. Of course, if it's a funky café with good tunes and a hipster vibe, 'bonjour' would be enough
Most of this is good advice. I would say however that outside of tourist relations, moving to the "tu" level happens more quickly than said. That said, I have a couple of good friends who are sisters of an older generation, one of them I "tutoie" and the other I "vouvoie".
Decades ago I was at a vernissage of an known artist older friend of mine. I was young and joined a group around him. I "tutoyais" him and he me. I saw from the faces around that people wondered who the hell I was. Une autre chose, c'est mieux que vous êtes moins coquette ici que dans d'autres épisodes.
J'admire le courage de votre conseil
When I finally get to France I will be rembering all of your sage advice. I am always (well almost always) polite, so I should be fine interacting with people. I will work on using politeness an offensive weapon, it sounds like a useful skill.
I've found it to be most useful. A social game, if you will.
Very useful. Everyone knows that it is ironic and insincere but it does follow good form.
I just found your video and I'm struck by the intelligence and perception of it! When you mentioned the word 'refinement', I was instantly struck by the realization that it doesn't exist here in the USA. We're not refined at all.
Great info. Thanks
Most kind your words (about my video anyway -- as to refinement in the US, I wouldn't dare offer any opinion of real life there, though I must say I do appreciate some of the TV streaming shows)
Really interesting and entertaining. Over here you know when you crossed the line when you hear “is there anything else that I can help you with?”
Sounds like a whole codebook of culture and politeness to learn over there
Love your videos Aida!
Thank you Emily! Anything stand out in particular that you like? I could do more of that!
@amusingaida so sorry for the very late response. I just enjoy how authentic you are and I appreciate your tips on how to blend in and interact in Paris. I hope to visit Paris one day. You have a fresh perspective on French culture which is enjoyable to watch ❤
Vous etez unique dans les gens qui fait youtube francais. Witty and brilliant.
Merci, c'est très aimable. Not so brilliant perhaps, but having fun doing this CZcams stuff for now
I'm french, I can definitely tell that you know my country well ...why wouldn't you try to make content in french speaking about how to behave in some other countries ...because there is I think stuff that french people don't really understand about outside cultures, because who wants to tell the french about those ? 😊
Well, je te remercie, J'ai fait de mon mieux ! At the moment, though, I'm having fun explaining France to the world. Doing the inverse would make people think I want to take over from Bernard-Henri Lévy!
Love your videos and the way you teach us about French culture. Can't wait to go back. Also, we would love to see a video about you. Who is Aida?
Thanks Cindy, and I do hope you back soon. As for me: I'm a lot less interesting than Paris
Aida, I am going to Paris for last 20 years. Earlier, it was difficult talk in English and now it is very much common from cabbies to restaurants.
Indeed, so true. Like for much of Europe, English has become much more prevalent in France.
Do try a little French if you can 🙏
Not really.
@@jimbandawhy ?! When you guys are going abroad, you can't make that effort and you expect it from others ?!
@@amusingaidaNope. It has not. France is really at the bottom among few other EU countries for their English proficiency. Extremely poor, especially in Paris !! Cause they don't care about learning and the French educational system is weak in languages as well.
Thank you so much, Aida. I like your videos. They are helpful. Your always look gorgeous and elegant in videos.
Now that's a comment I can hold close! Thanks so much!
i don’t agree with the situation if someone is rude, stay polite. if someone who is not polite (french or non-french) towards you, that person should be corrected in a good way, never pass that kind of behavior otherwise it will be normalized. we are all human beings after all. but love the tips! 😊
But that's the cultural quandry, isn't it? What one person on one side of the Atlantic might consider rude, another on the other side doesn't see it that way. "Normalized" is a loaded term when talking about different peoples, different countries -- hell, even different regions within a country.
Excellent as usual, I am always polite, I go by the old addage 'It costs nothing to be nice'. Can you recommend a French language teaching channel to someone who is a complete beginner please?
I don't know too much about beginner French out there. But one channel that has popped up on my home page sometimes looks pretty good: @FrenchmorningswithElisa
Maybe give that one a shot?
@@amusingaida Thank you Aida I'll have a look.
tu es tres charmante et tu dis la verite!
Merci beaucoup, je fais de mon mieux !
Excellent video !!!
Thank you!
@@amusingaida I follow Hemingway Jones and was on the episode you were on.
@@ginopagnani7286 Cool -- so you came over to see what I did on my channel? Thanks!
@@amusingaida and I subscribed, as will a few of the Hemingway Jones crowd!!
@@ginopagnani7286 Really? That would be great, especially if there's cross-over appeal between the channels
I don't understand the issue with wearing a bérêt? I wear one in Montreal in the fall and winter, it's just a hat to keep my head warm... Should I not wear it when in Paris? I mean of course, I'm not planning to wear it with a marinière and to walk around with a baguette under my arm at all times... That would be ridiculous:D
Wear what makes you comfortable, and wear it with confidence. That pointer in my video speaks to the sort of cosplay you see in Paris these days, where some visitors seem to be taking inspiration from a certain Emily in Paris. In the end, you own your style (and shouldn't let some Netflix trend dictate what you wear), just be aware though that for Parisians these days it can be a bit of a signifier...
From the french point of view, it is considered as 'you see, I am french like you because I wear a beret', even if it's not ...I'm french, here we are taught in early years that you can't use one's characterisitics (like clothes) until you have sufficient knowlegde of what's in one's mind ...😉😉
It's the same in Spanish. It's polite to ask " Te puedo tutear?"
Si, pero tengo la impresion que en español es mas comun de tutear... ¿verdad?
A musing as always A ida! Was the #French gasp at the start done at the start intentionally?
It was actually a bit of a laugh (probably tripping over cobblestones or something). I don't want my videos to be sanitised or anything, so I decided to just leave it in. Life happens!
I noticed a lot of people are using black on the streets or a darker tone of other colors, Is it cold weather or what?
haha... black is essentially the street color to wear in Paris in the cold months. It goes with everything, and I guess reflects the mood
I love European culture .
Also love your videos .
💚💐💚💐💚💐💚
So many cultures in Europe - which one?
French people really don't wear shorts in the summer time?
Pretty true (with exceptions made for sport, yachts and beaches)
I agree. Politeness, Politeness, Politeness. Smile, and be pleasant, but never too much. Parisians do not do 'small talk', they enjoy a debate. A real discussion. Tread carefully, I hasten to add. Thank you very much.
I guess some Parisians do small talk. Somewhere. I'm not very good at it though....
@a musing Aida True. I mean generally. I compare them with the Brits, who specialise in small talk. Brits do not like confrontation and prefer to stay 'vague' and not commit with passion to a discussion at a drinks party, for example. Different people, different mentality. All very interesting! Hope that you are well.
@@sylviamatthee8172 A lot of admiration for British rhetoric (especially deadpan humor and the way of sending messages through subtext). Maybe the confrontation is there in British conversation, but so masked that it's only discernable to those with antennae to detect it?
@a musing Aida British humor and wit are both superb. I have lived in the UK for a long time, and I know the Brits well. Small talk is their forte. They feel quickly uncomfortable when a discussion gets a bit deep. The Parisians, on the other hand, have no problem with chatting or a deep discussion. Two very different people, who are appreciated for their different qualities. I attend French Zoom ateliers, and our French Prof is very good at being sarcastic. He has lived in the UK for decades and really appreciates the natives. Keep well.
One walks into a restaurant and walks into personal space?
psycho-sociologically, yes... It's like stepping into someone's drawing room
@@amusingaida A drawing-room is a private area a restaurant is a public area.
@@ROCKINGMAN Actually restaurants are private premises (which is why some -- the horror! -- might discriminate against dogs; they're allowed to make house rules on their own premises, except where they might go against statutes, say on discrimination of humans)
@@amusingaida All right they are privately owned but they still are public places, meaning the public have admittance.
@@ROCKINGMAN Let's hope they're publicly spirited at least. But your comments point to why my video is needed, to explain the different psychology when it comes to spaces in France....
So, if no shorts, what does one wear when the weather is hot? Nothing but a smile? All kidding aside, I'm honestly curious :) Sure, women have a plethora of options, but men, not so much, unless you were to venture into kilts, sarongs, etc. And don't say pants, unless that's the secret to staying slim in France, wearing a personal sauna on your legs in summer! 😄
PS: My family and I are moving to Fontainebleau the summer of 2024, can't wait!!
I don't know -- I wouldn't dare dress a guy. But... maybe linen trousers? It works for dressy tropical men!
Fair enough :) I’ll keep an eye out when I’m next there in the warmer months. And perhaps go into some clothing stores and get their frank French take on it.
Ack, what is this crazy username?! (Shakes fist at CZcams)
everyone can wear shorts in the south, it's more relax and chill here :D ! (and the weather is warmer, so it's probably correlated.. xD)
So noted :) We’re moving to Fontainebleau from NL the summer of 2024, but have a feeling on the other end of the decade we’re going to create a future leaning ecovillage in the south of France….as for shorts, I’ve since seen many an event/photo in Paris where men are in shorts…maybe I’m finding the more chill slices of Paris? :)
Where in the south are you?
Hello from Wisconsin!
Hello from also Wisconsin!
@@rebecca_jean Wow, a Wisconsinite crowd
@@amusingaida Ha. BTW..I loved your Brussels video. Haven't gotten to the belgian restaurant in Milwaukee yet...yes they have waffles/mussels. Found out there is a large Belgian community in our resort area of Door County so now have 2 goals. 😃 Aside: my mom was born in Door County...French, Norwegian and German heritage abound there. Thank you for the info about France.
@@carolmartin4413 Well, as you've seen, I'd definitely go for the mussels (and probably skip the waffles) in that restaurant. Sounds like a very diverse community around that county
Thank you for another great video.. Why are the French so elegant in the way they dress
You mean the people walking in the streets in my video? Don't forget: a scarf (necessary in winter!) adds an elegant touch!
@@amusingaida I was meaning you..the clothes are put together so beautiful
@@vancejones4804 Aaaahh... Why thank you. I love the wardrobe I've put together (and have my eye on so many more clothes!)
You missed one... the 6th way to get the French to respect you is to sleep with one. I did it in 2012 and now I have a wife and a French little girl. They speak French and I can't even say "Bonjour" correctly... But they love and respect me! Lol
Let's file that one under diplomatic relations shall we? It's great you have your own French family. Mais ce serait mieux encore de pouvoir lui parler en français !
@@amusingaida Yes Yes! Diplomatic Relations! I had to get my daughter to read what you said... She said its ok because she is my translator! Greetings from Lille!!!
Thanks fantastic video and you are sweet and elegant
Thanks a million!
France is going wrong 😢
There are some, shall we say, preoccupations. But having lived in several countries I find it still gets a lot right.
@@amusingaida yes but France is very bad actually.. i’ m French and it’s war in my home…
@@Sappiik Suis Française aussi, et je comprends les inquiétudes actuels. Je voulais juste dire que, même avec ces coups, la France s'est montrée résiliente
@@amusingaida ah vous êtes française? Ça va mal là hein..
@@amusingaida super vidéo en tout cas 😘
Slightly odd woman
Well, the wine from the north of Italy is oftenly better, than the wine from the south of France:)
Define 'often'? (disclaimer: I do like wine from Italy too!)
@@amusingaida often is often. Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem.