ASMR, The Internet, and Loneliness -- A Video Essay

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  • čas přidán 24. 08. 2024

Komentáře • 57

  • @NILEGOD.777
    @NILEGOD.777 Před 3 měsíci +69

    Whenever I hear some ASMR channel usually roleplaying as your girlfriend/boy friend I can't help but think it's incredibly dystopian and depressing

    • @transsexual_void_fairy
      @transsexual_void_fairy Před 3 měsíci +11

      ive never had a partner and yes, it is depressing.
      but maybe we can use those things to alleviate loneilness and not b judged

    • @McSquiddington
      @McSquiddington Před 2 měsíci +1

      I have to agree on this. I tend to use ASMR video as a relaxation aid, and I typically pick the "professional" or informal types. i.e. The creator pretends to be a massage therapist or a barber or something, or they don't pretend at all and just try and give you tingles. There's precisely one ASMRtist I go to who has a kind of an older relative-esque angle to what he does, with actually solid life advice being involved, so that's a bit more palatable - but imagining that I've got a boyfriend, a girlfriend - or worse, a stalker - just feels wrong.

    • @Cashew-
      @Cashew- Před 2 měsíci +3

      @@transsexual_void_fairyartificial or fake socializing will always and has always driven people further into depression, it doesn’t alleviate loneliness it amplifies it, because the second the video ends the “relationship” ends. The screwed up thing is that our brain switches into thinking actual social interaction is near impossible, so you end up sinking more and more into a farce. It was super hard for me to change it but at the end of the day it really was just starting to go outside and talk to randos

  • @stan-jz8cg
    @stan-jz8cg Před 3 měsíci +58

    A lot of people who don’t get the sensation think the tingling is sexual in nature, which is why they tend to bash it.

    • @rachabonespittz
      @rachabonespittz Před 2 měsíci +12

      Why do people always think something that they don’t understand is sexual

    • @geraltofnivea1434
      @geraltofnivea1434 Před 2 měsíci

      @@rachabonespittz I think this association with sex comes from this 'meta' on Twitch and even CZcams of licking ears and moaning when doing so. Sex sells, that's just a fact, and actual porn sites are already very saturated with all types of sexual content that the competition is too great. But if you sell sex on a platform that isn't competitive, like twitch, it is way easier to rise to the top. This doesn't even take in to account that on Twitch you can even sell this sexual content to minors, since there is no age restriction in place. It's a sad reality, but this great experience we call 'ASMR' has been tarnished by E-hoe's trying to make easy money.

    • @pinkmoonrabbit2072
      @pinkmoonrabbit2072 Před 2 měsíci +1

      i remember showing a family member asmr when i was 15 (about 10 yrs ago), and she laughed and asked if it was a fetish.
      i felt so embarrassed about liking it, still do a little bit

  • @ohwow8867
    @ohwow8867 Před 2 měsíci +12

    I've been watching ASMR videos literally since I was 12, im 18 now. it's been 6 years! I'm one of the most extroverted people I know and I have an ASMR playlist i listen to every night to go to sleep. And I understand where you are coming from, there are a lot of dystopian connections happening right now due to the loneliness epidemic and the insane spread of time spent on the internet, but I disagree with you that this (ASMR being comforting and helping with lonelinss) isn't a big issue.
    This isn't about ASMR, it's about the loneliness epidemic in general. I think you are personally projecting, cause everyone I know who listens to ASMR has ever used it in the way you describe, it genuinely puts us to sleep.
    You almost forgot that the entire point of the tingling sensation is to make you comfortable enough to sleep. You hyperfocused on a specific point you wanted to make, and that really strays it from the bigger picture: it's not that serious and the issue is not ASMR. The issue is parasocial relationships caused from isolation from daily life, detatchment from reality and hyper indulgence in the internet.
    I apologize if I come off as mean, I don't mean to, I can tell you watch a lot of it yourself! I nodded my head when you were talking about the surprisingly incredible writing and showed the asmrtist Goodnight Moon on the screen! That specific video has such incredible writing it gave me chills not from the sounds but the context alone. I've slept to it many, many times! However, I still think there might be projection here. But I'm so interested in seeing someone talk about ASMR in an intellectual way! You're right, there isn't anyone who really talks about these. However, I don't think there's much to talk about anyway, there are bigger issues regarding the topic or concern you have.
    Sorry for the long comment, I'm just an ASMR enthusiast, great video!!!!

  • @socrates.isnt_real42069
    @socrates.isnt_real42069 Před 2 měsíci +6

    This is the first video I see of you and just wanted to say that this a really great essay. I wanted to add a point that emphasizes what you said. I started watching ASMR as a kid because of my childhood trauma. Falling asleep with someone calm and sweet really help me when my home life was chaos. It wasn't to fulfilled a hole created by a lack of social life but from a lack of calm. I only listen to people talking (reading stories, explaining their days, showing what they bought) and this video made me realize that I use ASMR as a coping mechanism for the neglect I endured. It made me feel loved and listen to. I felt like life could be normal for a couple of minutes. I moved out a couple of years ago but I still listen to ASMR everynight. Still to these days, it's the only way for me to calm down after a big day. I will definitely talk about this to my therapist LOL. Again, great video, thank you for making think!!

  • @scandilad5152
    @scandilad5152 Před 2 měsíci +7

    Don't think it was mentioned but for anyone curious, ASMR is an acronym for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, fascinating stuff to read about.

  • @l0renz
    @l0renz Před 2 měsíci +2

    I listen to a lot of asmr roleplay.
    Not ones with whispering or other triggers though. Just someone talking to you as listener, following a script or improvised scenario.
    I have quite the packed schedule and not a lot of free time so most of my social interactions are work/study related.
    That's why I like to listen to that for comfort and to relax.
    I don't really feel lonely though, at least that's nothing constantly on my mind.

  • @EmilyKinny
    @EmilyKinny Před 2 měsíci +2

    I liked this a lot. I especially liked your point of how even when you finally socialize with others in real life, there is still always "the internet" that keeps you from finding true quality, intimate time with each other. And I think that's another void that ASMR is trying to fill beyond loneliness itself: platonic intimacy. It's just not something people get (or are willing to give) as much any more. You say you never got ASMR tingles in real life but I've seen many people, of course mostly in asmr comments, talk about how they used to get tingles when their parent brushed their hair, or their friend braided their hair during class, or the tingles they got from silently doing homework next to a friend and listening to the scratching of utensils and flipping of papers, etc. Sooo much asmr is replicating "nostalgic" intimacy that we just don't get anymore as adults.
    Also your "solution" to loneliness I think was dancing around what the actual results would be by doing what you're saying: learning to enjoy your own company and enjoy solitude. So, as in your example, instead of waiting for someone to take you to a museum, take yourself to a museum and enjoy yourself by just being with yourself; don't wait for someone else to "complete" the picture. (This is easier said than done though, I say as someone with crippling anxiety about being alone in public spaces lol).

  • @danny87573
    @danny87573 Před 2 měsíci +2

    I feel like the positive affirmation really did help me out when I was more depressed. As my life got better and got a gf I tend to see those videos less. Still like them but I don’t rely on them anymore as I did in the past.

  • @FortTheMighty
    @FortTheMighty Před 2 měsíci +1

    been waiting for a video essay about ASMR for so long

  • @foggyvhs8790
    @foggyvhs8790 Před měsícem +2

    Literally “you look lonely, I can fix that”

  • @kvol1668
    @kvol1668 Před měsícem +1

    I've had strong ASMR since I was a child. It was triggered by certain scenes in movie, or in reading books. I always asked other people if they felt it, and no one did.

  • @rrringles
    @rrringles Před 2 měsíci +3

    Oooo an ASMR video essay! I've referred to ASMR roleplays as "artificial intimacy" in the past, and I think of that as a neutral statement. It's only negative if you are relying on it too much to replace the real thing, which you explore well in this.
    Personally I love watching ASMR roleplay as... relaxing entertainment? I love ones with strange and interesting characters, storylines, and unique settings. Because of the format there's usually little exposition except for what's in the title, so you're just thrown into a situation with a character and you slowly gain more understanding as they talk to you. Creators who master this style do a lot of indirect storytelling that I think is really cool. Sometimes I'm in the mood for a simple tapping and whispering, though.

  • @pandapan5797
    @pandapan5797 Před 19 dny

    This is amazing!!! I used to look for ASMR video essays or information to analyze on reddit. It’s been particularly intriguing to me and i just happened to find this video from visiting your channel after your Look Back video. I do not regret!

  • @AdrianskiASMR
    @AdrianskiASMR Před 2 měsíci +7

    I make ASMR videos and I've been planning on talking about this for a while. I personally love ASMR because of the sound exploration aspect and also the fact that it takes human intimacy and it places it under a microscope. Through ASMR, human touch and sound has become so much more intentional for me, making me have much deeper connections to my friends and lovers.
    That being said, I think that coping with loneliness through ASMR content is more or less dystopian and definitely a band aid. I always fear about ASMR paving the way towards realistic cybersex and basically making those sci-fi movies into reality. ASMR is also addictive - it's actually pretty stimulating and releases both dopamine and oxytocin. That's why a lot of people watch the fast & aggressive things - beacuse it's much more intense. And because it's about intimacy and human trust, the lines between ASMR and sex is so thin, it's natural that it often gets blurred so I'm not surprised about its evolution.
    My hope is that businesses don't start to misuse it to trigger certain emotions and impulses. I believe in its core, ASMR is pure.
    Great video! I'll do mine this year and I'll make sure to link to this one.

    • @noahmcalister
      @noahmcalister  Před 2 měsíci +1

      It's really cool to hear this from someone who actually does ASMR content. I think ASMR is fairly new still, so I think there's a lot we're still figuring out with it, as is the case with social media/the internet as a whole
      Yeah, I had a bit about sexual ASMR in the video originally, but I cut it bc I didn't feel it made the video better. But I do think it's aiming towards that dystopian cyberpunk stuff
      Definitely drop a comment when you make your video, bc I'd love to see it. Thanks for your thoughts!

    • @AdrianskiASMR
      @AdrianskiASMR Před 2 měsíci +2

      @@noahmcalister Just wanted to add another perspective in favour of ASMR. I've heard people use it to heal trauma. Seeing a gentle male whom you can trust, or facing other traumatic experiences in a safe/contained environment. There are definitely 2 sides to this coin.

  • @epicseadragon1692
    @epicseadragon1692 Před 2 měsíci +2

    Thank you for the video! I've been watching ASMR since the 2020 pandemic and lockdown, and it was clearly because I was feeling extremely lonely. I continued ever since, but, as I came to the realization that it was more of a "temporary patch" than a real solution, I've tried to at least decrease my watching time. It still happens that I watch certain kind of videos (mostly the relaxation/no-talking ones) while I work, and/or before bed. In the past I've definitely had the thought that I need to stop entirely, but nowadays, I feel like I can keep my ASMR watch time under control so I don't feel that urge anymore. The fact that I could resume outside activities, see friends again, etc did help.

  • @MrMysterious420
    @MrMysterious420 Před 3 měsíci +16

    ASMR watcher here, I think while the loneliness can play a huge factor in asmr content, I think another often overlooked aspect is that some asmr videos are purely focused on sounds and not dependent on a roleplay factor. I'm specifically referring to the "no talking" subset of asmr videos, which are the kind I prefer. It's difficult to explain but the ones that resonate with me the most are soothing to a point that goes beyond "tingle triggers" and feel as if it's literally scratching an itch in my brain that I would not be able to satiate otherwise.

    • @bluemooninthedaylight8073
      @bluemooninthedaylight8073 Před 3 měsíci +2

      Would you say it's a relaxation factor like having white noise to help enter sleep? I mean, is this all that different than meditation, in that the tones hit that sweet spot that allows for a state of calm? It seems like the nonpredatory forms of ASMR are akin to ambiance or soundscapes. Me personally, I like weird sounds and even dissonance for how they scratch a certain part of my brain. Weird is stimulating.

    • @momomomohito
      @momomomohito Před 2 měsíci +1

      Same! Quiet scalp scratching videos are my favorite! They are so satisfying for the brain; Especially as someone who mainly watches asmr when I'm stressed or panic-y to distract me/calm me down

    • @noahmcalister
      @noahmcalister  Před 2 měsíci +5

      Yeah I get that. I oftentimes have asmr playing in the background when I'm writing just as background noise (I've also used white noise, like another commenter said). But I know exactly what you mean with the scratching an itch you wouldn't be able to scratch otherwise; I was feeling that when I was looking up wood sounds for this video lol

    • @bluemooninthedaylight8073
      @bluemooninthedaylight8073 Před 2 měsíci +1

      @@noahmcalister This side of ASMR that you're shining a light on is depressing as all hell, even dystopian. It's why I personally avoid ASMR stuff, because the clearly predatory stuff makes my skin crawl. It's all likely connected to how things like internet porn, being a consumable and disposable thing, has supplanted the desire for many to find a romantic partner. Why make the painful effort of dating and being possibly rejected, when you can have an easy drip-feed that requires no effort? It seems likely that this era of para-social "onlyfans" relationships is a huge factor.

  • @SaHaRaSquad
    @SaHaRaSquad Před 2 měsíci +1

    I never experienced this tingling thing but I like crispy audio and not much other content comes close. And I think this quality of sound is a main reason why the roleplaying ones are so successful - it just sounds so real and intimate, to a point I've actually had moments where the person's breaths made me feel a breeze in my face that wasn't even there. In a sense this is kinda like VR for the ears - and I think once this kind of content actually becomes its own thing in VR the problems you speak of will be on another level.

  • @blackgu4rd
    @blackgu4rd Před 3 měsíci +4

    I've always felt ASMR videos were cringey and uncomfortable. I didn't judge anybody who enjoyed ASMR content (or any content at all, really) but I personally never understood the appeal.
    Thanks for explaining it.

  • @jeanrushmer8192
    @jeanrushmer8192 Před 2 měsíci +1

    This was a great breakdown and informative video. You bring up lots of interesting talking points, such as asmr as a bandage, which I 100% can see and confirm. I think asmr ties into the current loneliness epidemic and lack of third spaces. It is definitely a form of escapism, but on a lot more personal level.

  • @fall1n1chan
    @fall1n1chan Před 2 měsíci +2

    i put asmr videos that they dont speak
    just gimme that ear tingle stuff, it's a hell of a drug

  • @ArchivistShepard
    @ArchivistShepard Před 2 měsíci +1

    Came because new Noah video, stayed because you referenced my real one Goodnight Moon, REALLY stayed for a dive into a genre of videos I've written off as niche and one-note. 💜 Appreciate your perspective as always, Noah! Would not have thought of it as a method to fill in the void the Internet created and widened in our lives, but will have to take this all into consideration next time the algo tries recommending it to me. 👍

  • @timdecamillis3429
    @timdecamillis3429 Před 2 měsíci

    Before the world was chronically online I got my Amsr fix at the skate shop. Especially the sound of assembling and applying grip tape onto the skateboard

  • @shepastawayy
    @shepastawayy Před 2 měsíci +2

    saw the skinny puppy shirt and immediately followed

    • @noahmcalister
      @noahmcalister  Před 2 měsíci +1

      Ok I know your username is a reference to a band I probably need to check out, but I read it as "She Pasta Wayy" which I can only assume is a street named after women shaped pasta noodles

  • @mimimalloc
    @mimimalloc Před 2 měsíci +4

    Seeing this video caused me to drop 20 metal pipes

    • @noahmcalister
      @noahmcalister  Před 2 měsíci +6

      What does this mean

    • @matthueloose7172
      @matthueloose7172 Před 2 měsíci +3

      @@noahmcalister It's almost the opposite of ASMR in a sound form
      Also a video essay on the topic was surprising

  • @SkiaRemori
    @SkiaRemori Před 2 měsíci +1

    ASMR videos have always put me on edge unfortunately, though it sounds like I was able to avoid at least one bad coping mechanism. The human voice seems to hold some kind of special quality to it. Text like this is just fine for conveying information online, but there is something more personal about hearing it through someone's voice, because you get more of a sense of someone's personality (or at least the illusion of one). Like for example, I can type the words "you are not alone" here, but my existence to you is no more than a series of black and white pixels that show up on your screen. It may seem more real if someone were to say it with their own voice instead.
    Sometimes we create more of a problem when we overfocus on or compensate for it. Doing things you would do if you weren't lonely is a good idea, though I think my reasoning is different from yours. I try to think of it as having something to share in the future, so when I recount the memory with someone it will be like re-experiencing it with them. My past may one day reach out to the future where I'm not alone. Possibly. Maybe.
    I won't assume why you were unsure about publishing this one, but well done for choosing to do it anyway. The internet is full of people who are willing to emulate a kind of relationship for someone else's benefit (self-insert fan-fictions, online roleplays, subreddits where you can get advice from a 'parent', etc.). I think people have always used technology in some way or another to overcome their sense of loneliness.

  • @Immaculate_he4rt
    @Immaculate_he4rt Před 3 měsíci +2

    15:10 the disintegration cover was a nice touch 😂

  • @ShadoFXPerino
    @ShadoFXPerino Před 2 měsíci +2

    I don't think exposure to ASMR can really be a positive influence as much as you hope it can. It will give you a hyper-exaggerated expectation of intimacy and concern which real life relationships are unlikely to match. It's rare to find a partner who would be prescient enough to know that tapping on wood blocks pleases you. It's rare for them to have a voice like Bob Ross. It's rare for them to devote more than half an hour to nonstop complimenting and consoling you.
    Once you are accustomed to this unrealistic expectation, you will not be able to appreciate real life relationships.

    • @noahmcalister
      @noahmcalister  Před 2 měsíci +2

      I think this is a fair opinion. It's a good point you bring up that ASMR could create extreme expectations for a relationship. But I wonder if simply knowing that you have a friend/partner would be enough and would soothe your mind throughout the day so that you don't feel the need for the exaggerated intimacy at the end of the day. Essentially, I'm wondering if having a partner and texting them through the week is like eating meals throughout the day, whereas not having any emotional connection, then watching ASMR is like eating 3000 calories in one sitting, if that makes sense.
      But still, if you're going on dates, you do have those blocks of time where it's just yall together (hopefully), so there's that. At the very least, I'd say talking to someone in person requires a degree of focus and attention on your end that a continuous ASMR video does not
      Idk it's a weird thing. Thanks for your thoughts!

  • @RememberMegaUpload
    @RememberMegaUpload Před 2 měsíci

    Technology changed the way humans interact. I remember when we had to actually see a person just to have an interaction. That profound and irreversible change it made to society is altering our most intimate identity as beings and now we feel lonely, it's taboo to talk about that nowadays as well as ASMR which is an attempt at recovering our need of connections

  • @mrhare00
    @mrhare00 Před 2 měsíci

    I was getting into ASMR at one point but once the roleplay stuff started popping up I got scared and stepped back for a moment. Now I'm into Lofi Hiphop channels and I'm not sure if that is the same.

  • @thenaut2111
    @thenaut2111 Před 2 měsíci

    I think there is also an aspect of the one sided interactions with these asmr videos, all the attention is on YOU and YOU don't have to give it back (cause you literally can't) and that's an almost impossible thing to ever get in real life because life gets in the way and understandably people don't usually have the time to spend like that if they even wanted to in the first place. The only times I can see a friend doing this is if I was in a really dire mental health situation and I can imagine these kinds of ASMR videos if viewed so regularly or obssessively can really screw up someone's idea of friendships and relationships and the need to give and return in them.
    I don't think this is a huge issue at this point in time or an issue at all really; this is all theoretical. I also don't believe these people would be extremely antisocial or anything because we all need that in life from time to time, someone to take care of you, but like I said the, overindulgence, like with many other things, is probably not good.
    also this video was really good, I'm subbing I'm gonna watch all your silent hill ones.

  • @PeaceLoveDisney
    @PeaceLoveDisney Před 2 měsíci

    When I first discovered ASMR I was so excited because as a kid I always loved getting my hair checked for lice in school due to how relaxing it felt, it was one of my first triggers for tingles and it was so exciting to see that I wasn't the only person to be affected by it. Most of the videos I like to watch focus on specific triggers to activate the brain tingles compared to the roleplay videos you talked about but it is such a unique topic to focus on. It's such a broad idea that there's hundreds of videos for everything and anything -similar to Rule 34 but much more innocent (most of the time) if someone thinks of it, it exists. :D

  • @DVictor23
    @DVictor23 Před 2 měsíci

    I listen to asmr to sleep, I never liked roleplays,I find it cringe as fuck. But yeah, other than that, i usually like trigger words a lot, clicky sounds feel good and relaxing to me.

  • @largegrape9134
    @largegrape9134 Před 2 měsíci

    I used to like forced asmr, but now I only watch unintentional asmr.

  • @jayatflyt
    @jayatflyt Před 2 měsíci

    is it bad that i can recognize every video in the thumbnail. i have been watching asmr since 2015.

  • @unrelatedcoma
    @unrelatedcoma Před 2 měsíci +1

    you jumped way over the massive mutation of ASMR. did you avoid the erotic nature of twitch ASMR because its too big a can of worms?

    • @noahmcalister
      @noahmcalister  Před 2 měsíci +3

      Yeah I skipped over erotic asmr bc I filmed some stuff about it, but I didn't feel like it helped the video.
      I think erotic asmr obviously plays a role in this entire loneliness focused asmr subgenre that I talk about here, but the sexual nature of it, and of twitch livestreams, make it feel a little bit different than the friend/gf focused stuff I talked about, bc there's the element of whether someone is watching those videos for just the sexual content and doesnt care about the asmr/roleplay. It complicates things a bit. But yeah, it's a whole can of worms and honestly would've been too much for this video. But I feel like this video has been well received, mostly, so I might do more ASMR stuff, bc I think it's a huge phenomenon that no one is really talking enough about

  • @RememberMegaUpload
    @RememberMegaUpload Před 2 měsíci

    It's taboo to say we as a society went the wrong way for the last 2≈3 decades... Lol

  • @sanoczykk
    @sanoczykk Před 3 měsíci +1

    great video
    nice beard too