Dark Side of Polygamy in Islam Featuring Debbie (formerly Muneera)

Sdílet
Vložit
  • čas přidán 27. 07. 2024
  • I explore the dark side of polygamy in Islam and Debbie tells us what it was like being the wife of a man who took a second wife after 7 years of marriage.
    My Patreon: / abdullahsameer
    My Support page: abdullahsameer.com/support
    Join my private mailing list: list.abdullahsameer.com/signup
    Does a Husband have to tell his wife? islamqa.info/en/answers/11575...
    Story about Sauda: abdullahsameer.com/muhammad-a...
    Follow Debbie on Twitter: / debruh1017
    Subscribe to Debbie's CZcams: / @deborah5925
    Follow me at:
    ► Twitter: / abdullahadam
    ► Facebook: / abdullah.sameer.71
    ► Medium: / abdullahsameer
    Intro/Outro Credit Spinnin' Remixes: / @spinninremixes

Komentáře • 1,1K

  • @MAX-tw3qz
    @MAX-tw3qz Před 3 lety +294

    Polygamy is proof you don't love your wife.

    • @nocomment2496
      @nocomment2496 Před 3 lety +75

      Polygamy is the most disgusting teaching ever..!!

    • @kellyskingdom7227
      @kellyskingdom7227 Před 2 lety +18

      It shouldn’t be just for men & everyone should have to approve first

    • @sidrasidrasadiq9337
      @sidrasidrasadiq9337 Před 2 lety

      This why I started hating Islam ,since the questions of polygamy is totally impossible for me to digest at once.... It's totally a oppression and nothing else

    • @abenaamoateng1583
      @abenaamoateng1583 Před 2 lety +5

      Factssss

    • @topgirl8533
      @topgirl8533 Před 2 lety +26

      And proof on the womens part that they don’t love themself and have low self esteem cause I could NEVER

  • @anggabriel1059
    @anggabriel1059 Před 2 lety +387

    A great lover is not a Man who romances a different woman every night; A great lover is one who romances the same woman for a lifetime

  • @Matt-kf4ec
    @Matt-kf4ec Před 2 lety +225

    I'm not a woman but just asking "Can I have a second wife" would definitely break something in the relationship and my love.

    • @malika5731
      @malika5731 Před 11 měsíci +7

      And they say this as a logic that we ask our wife like seriously 😂

    • @tulipbubbly3748
      @tulipbubbly3748 Před 10 měsíci +16

      ​@@malika5731exactly😂like they want to appear a less bad person by asking.

    • @malika5731
      @malika5731 Před 10 měsíci

      @@tulipbubbly3748 asking the wife can I bring second wife and fuck her legally without affair .bcs in affair you can call it atleast illegal that she is mistress but you can't say that for wife 😂

    • @tarakhan3801
      @tarakhan3801 Před 7 měsíci +4

      Exactly! The right way to do it is ask before marrying a woman if she is open to polygamy. If she is she can go ahead marrying that man knowing there is a possibility he would marry someone else too in the future. But if she says no then they move on to other prospects. And let’s also hold the women in these situations accountable. You have a right to leave as soon as you feel you don’t want such a situation. Women trying to force themselves to be ok with something they are not are self harming and torturing themselves. Leave and find someone else or be single what ever, but don’t stay and try to find the silver lining if there isn’t one.

    • @matalostodos
      @matalostodos Před 3 měsíci +9

      Polygamy means the marriage is fake, it is weird to see someone saying “before getting married, ask your future wife if she wants to be replaced”.

  • @scorzi
    @scorzi Před 3 lety +299

    I've met so many adult children from these situations whose mothers are the second or third wife. There's shame, jealousy, the kids from different mothers are treated differently in a hierarchy, and it's obvious many guys use it as a way to just have sex with more women; not for any type of religious reasons.

    • @account_nameonline6420
      @account_nameonline6420 Před 3 lety +55

      I’ve had the same experience. The adult children I’ve spoken to in depth are really quite damaged from growing up in a polygamous situation. They also internalise the sadness and rejection on behalf of their mother no matter what efforts the mother made to protect them. So sad.

    • @sarakunb621
      @sarakunb621 Před 3 lety +68

      @Hishām Mālik it's wrong because women are not things for men to use their bodies. If a man and a woman are married, women believe they have a special relationship and sex with them is their unique bond. It's like a secret. Now, a woman's husband is sleeping with another woman and now the first wife doesn't have a special bond any more because she knows another woman is seeing him naked and doing things with him and he's doing things to her that used to be their special thing only they did together. It's easy to imagine a man getting jelous even furious at the thought of a woman having sex with another man, but somehow women are supposed to just accept it and be happy? The problem is that Islqm doesn't recognize women have emotions, and feel hurt just like how men would feel hurt. There is no difference in how a man or woman would feel, and it's harmful consequences, just the expectation is for women to put their pain behind them and smile and be a good wife and mother or else she's the one who is ungrateful, not the man who is being selfish

    • @faaaduma6876
      @faaaduma6876 Před 3 lety +30

      @Hishām Mālik Well, it's "Haram" for women to deny their husband "rights" to have another wife. So it's kind of force when you think about. So yeah..

    • @Stardust475
      @Stardust475 Před 3 lety +23

      You can see the problems in Muhammad's own marriages detailed in Sira. No one unless you've been indoctrinated supports polygamy. It is not conducive to a good marriage. It is emotionally and mentally damaging to children in these households. Muslim clerics aren't bothered about empirical studies to recognise how bad this set up is. Islamic marriage contract and divorce is another matter that's really disturbing.

    • @tusharsharma1363
      @tusharsharma1363 Před 3 lety +18

      @Aman Shafi Which women in her fully conscious mind would allow his husband to have multiple wives.
      Will your mother allow to marry your father mutiple times???
      And those wives who allow their husband to marry multiple times
      Do you think those women are sane?

  • @venenareligioest410
    @venenareligioest410 Před rokem +41

    Strange how nothing that men like is haram in Islam!

  • @anggabriel1059
    @anggabriel1059 Před 2 lety +76

    The biggest coward of a Man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her

  • @dedyrahadian6758
    @dedyrahadian6758 Před 2 lety +100

    In Indonesia, man use this phrase to woman "polygamy is chance for you to proof that You love god (by agreeing polygamy) more than love man". Sick eh?

    • @ordinarylife2343
      @ordinarylife2343 Před rokem

      A disgusting ideology of Muhammad!

    • @mariahiller
      @mariahiller Před 5 měsíci

      The expression was obviously made by a horny man.

    • @purplelove3666
      @purplelove3666 Před 3 měsíci

      God*

    • @mariahiller
      @mariahiller Před 3 měsíci +1

      @@purplelove3666 god, bleh

    • @annegreengables6367
      @annegreengables6367 Před měsícem +9

      In Indonesia & Malaysia, if a woman puts no polygamy in her marriage contract, the imam crosses it out. The imam says that it is allowed Islamically and she cannot deny her husband's right to it. Even if the husband does sign and agree to it, he can break the agreement later. If a wife in an Islamic country files for divorce, she has no right to custody, financial support, nor the return of her bridal money.

  • @AJansenNL
    @AJansenNL Před 2 lety +113

    My now ex-husband thought taking a second wife would fix our marital problems. He thought wrong. It was the last straw. He only took, never gave, didn't provide, didn't listen, didn't communicate, didn't pull his weight. Yeah, sure, bringing a complicating factor would improve things.

    • @Tamar-sz8ox
      @Tamar-sz8ox Před 2 lety +4

      That’s called looking for “your solution “ outside of yourself

    • @ashleytheseeker8480
      @ashleytheseeker8480 Před rokem +10

      Its sadly encouraged by some ulema to take another wife when having issues with your 1st wife.

    • @RobespierreThePoof
      @RobespierreThePoof Před 4 měsíci +7

      It may have been the best solution they could think of in the middle ages. But Muslims like to pretend that the Muslim world has been completely untouched by modernity. That's naive.
      Every Muslim in the world sees how non-muslims have benefitted from secular values and modern ideals. Women are going to want a more fair deal in very large numbers. Just as every Muslim in Abu Dhabi and Qatar enjoys modern conveniences and every Muslim in Kuala Lumpur enjoys modern healthcare, the institution of marriage (and many other things which strict Islam refuses to change) needs to change as well, to be improved.
      The fetishization of an 8th century lifestyle is the most destructive idea in Islam. It explains almost all the problems in the Muslim world today.

    • @germantutoring
      @germantutoring Před 18 dny

      he just wanted a smooth transition for himself

  • @jhnnbhfvv6405
    @jhnnbhfvv6405 Před 2 lety +92

    If polygamy were truly good, then why didn’t he want his daughter to be in it? He even say it will hurt her, you can see that he knew but as long as it isn’t his daughter he wouldn’t care.

    • @user-eg4zb8sp1w
      @user-eg4zb8sp1w Před 2 lety +33

      It's because he's a hypocrite. He allowed himself to have more than a dozen wives and limited other men to four wives even he's supposed to be a normal human equal to all other god's creation. Later he refused to let his daughter be married in a polygamous marriage.
      It's like Aisha said- "Why do you hold to be forbidden what Allah has made lawful for you"

    • @LoveCisse
      @LoveCisse Před 23 dny

      ​@@user-eg4zb8sp1wastaghfirullah you are speaking madness. What do you know of the prophet saw to say he's a hypocrite. Please know him before you speak. Some women want to be in polygamist marriages and others don't. Either way it'll be her choice if she wants to be in a polygamist marriage or not. No women is forced into it.

    • @ninaforrester8552
      @ninaforrester8552 Před 21 dnem

      Islam is an outdated barbaric belief structure and has no place in a free western society

    • @kisuli2734
      @kisuli2734 Před 10 dny +2

      ​@@LoveCisse"No women is forced into it" really?? Maybe in ideal life but its not reality. Men can take another wife without even asking the first wife. If your wife is dependent on you finacially then it basically forces her to be in that marriage

  • @kittye8340
    @kittye8340 Před 3 lety +290

    I'm an Ex Mormon, our prophets all had multiple wives. I've seen the same arguments made for Islamic polygamy as the apologetics for Joseph Smith.

    • @thefirm4606
      @thefirm4606 Před 3 lety +28

      Same issue different texts! So much in common…

    • @kittye8340
      @kittye8340 Před 3 lety +42

      @@thefirm4606 Certainly similar. Atheist youtubers and even Ex Muslims like Abdullah Sameer have helped deconvert me and deprogram the brainwashing done by the Mormon church. They have also helped me become a much kinder, more accepting, more intelligent, happier, more informed individual.

    • @seanrathmakedisciples1508
      @seanrathmakedisciples1508 Před 3 lety +9

      @@kittye8340 It’s great that you got free of that evil cult.Joseph Smith was very like Muhammed and controlled his wives. I’ve now subscribed to your CZcams channel and now subscribe to my channel and watch my videos in Jesus nameczcams.com/video/JzhwgUFX9CI/video.html

    • @seanrathmakedisciples1508
      @seanrathmakedisciples1508 Před 3 lety

      @Mac Mac True They both are dominated by controlling women and eventually controlling all neighbors and people. I’ve now subscribed to your CZcams channel and now press the subscribe button and watch my video

    • @seanrathmakedisciples1508
      @seanrathmakedisciples1508 Před 3 lety +8

      @Mac Mac Sorry if I didn’t explain myself well. No that these cults control women and have multiple wives But Christ has set us free from the curse of the law Galatians 3:13.There is no male or female, no Jew or Greek but we’re all one in Christ Jesus and heirs to the promises of Abraham Galatians 3;28.

  • @topgirl8533
    @topgirl8533 Před 2 lety +136

    FINALLY a man from the Muslim world EXPOSING and calling out the bs in the culture

  • @unika23
    @unika23 Před 3 lety +158

    I would straight go crazy if my husband was sleeping with someone else.. nothing in the world is so shameful for a woman

    • @natalikronwald6177
      @natalikronwald6177 Před 3 lety +12

      I don’t think you can make a blanket statement like this. There’s a lot of women (and men) who don’t care, some of them even engage in polyamorous or open marriage arrangements or swinger clubs. Generally, its never a good idea to make blanket statements because truth is more complicated.

    • @smayr9392
      @smayr9392 Před 3 lety +50

      Id never want him to touch me again. LOVE, TRUST AND RESPECT ALL GONE!

    • @liberator275
      @liberator275 Před 3 lety +21

      @@natalikronwald6177 people with very low morals or no morals at all would accept such a thing. pretty much most of the Western world as it has abandoned Christianity an masse except for a handful of countries.

    • @MuhammadAmin-yy9bj
      @MuhammadAmin-yy9bj Před 2 lety +1

      Because you are a disbeliever you don't have patience like us. That's the reason your soul is so stiff necked that doesn't bow down to God's commandment to be patient. It is God (your creator) who has given permission to men that needs to be understand and their are several reasons behind that.

    • @diabloakland
      @diabloakland Před 2 lety +2

      @@natalikronwald6177 she was talking about herself

  • @dyawr
    @dyawr Před 3 lety +106

    Thank you for this. It's a disgusting system & people need to call it out for what it is. What a horrible, nauseating situation - _"we were both pregnant at the same time.."_ 🤢

    • @tusharsharma1363
      @tusharsharma1363 Před 3 lety +27

      Husband : I am marrying another women.
      Wife : But you said you only love me.
      Husband : Stop your bullshit romantic drama
      I am giving you two options
      1.) either *talaakh talaakh talaakh* (devorce) and marry her and you take your children away and get the f out of my house.
      Or
      2.) you can be my first wife and she can be my second.
      Wife: okay you can marry her😪

    • @malika5731
      @malika5731 Před 11 měsíci +2

      ​@@tusharsharma1363😂so true the point taking permission itself is bogus

  • @BLACK.ANGEL.
    @BLACK.ANGEL. Před 3 lety +126

    The moment a man would just ask, if he could have a second wife the divorce Papers would be on the way via express delivery!!!

    • @medullary8476
      @medullary8476 Před 3 lety +37

      Women in Islamic countries do not enjoy that privilege.
      A woman cannot divorce her husband unless there's a religiously valid reason, and the decision is made by the Islamic judge .

    • @BLACK.ANGEL.
      @BLACK.ANGEL. Před 3 lety +20

      @@medullary8476 I know, I was referring to me.

    • @theangeljibril1003
      @theangeljibril1003 Před 3 lety +23

      Or poison his food. Jk

    • @BLACK.ANGEL.
      @BLACK.ANGEL. Před 3 lety +15

      @@theangeljibril1003 also an option

    • @theangeljibril1003
      @theangeljibril1003 Před 3 lety +13

      @@BLACK.ANGEL. Some poisons mimic the effects of heart attacks, and in this case, it's highly unlikely that they will check for poison. Also, women are typically less likely to be suspected of killing their partners than men.
      Even for people who don't believe in equality, respecting women is still a great idea.

  • @el_killorcure
    @el_killorcure Před 3 lety +44

    And sex slaves, Sameer. Always emphasize that. Not just 4 wives and "concubines", but literal sex slaves they are allowed to possess, to this day, under the "right" conditions...

  • @AS-jo8qh
    @AS-jo8qh Před měsícem +10

    An honourable man doesn't look at women other than his wife. I am proud to hold myself to this high moral standard

  • @jeanmullen
    @jeanmullen Před 3 lety +196

    In England ( as I am sure elsewhere) the second or third wife would be considered a single parent as she is not legally married. Therefore she can claim single parent allowance as well as child benefit. A very unwholesome situation for honourable Muslims to have their second or third union paid for by the state.

    • @nadermazari3334
      @nadermazari3334 Před 3 lety +27

      The West allows this bullshit. However, do not cheat on your taxes. In the U.S, the Internal Revenue Service will literally kill you. I guess you gotta "pay the man" but "the man" does not care how your taxes are distributed.

    • @natalikronwald6177
      @natalikronwald6177 Před 3 lety +14

      If they’re Hizbis or Salafis they don’t care. For them it’s „jizya“ or „revenge“ for western countries‘ „war on Islam“. Lazy people

    • @ericvulgate
      @ericvulgate Před 3 lety +12

      mormon sects still do this as well.

    • @ottopotatum5775
      @ottopotatum5775 Před 3 lety +19

      Freeloaders

    • @Ragameiste
      @Ragameiste Před 3 lety +10

      Honorable Muslims?

  • @larssrensen4353
    @larssrensen4353 Před 3 lety +66

    polygamy itself is evil

    • @faaaduma6876
      @faaaduma6876 Před 3 lety +1

      Forståeligt 👍

    • @nadiaaamin7112
      @nadiaaamin7112 Před 3 lety +2

      Islam is evil

    • @mamaathu322
      @mamaathu322 Před 2 lety +1

      @@nadiaaamin7112 all men a like that all religions if you think am lying stay with your husband for years and you’ll c Y do men like women even in privacy

    • @miriamwang9200
      @miriamwang9200 Před 2 lety

      It creates social ill and bring discord to family

    • @zxcccccc1
      @zxcccccc1 Před 2 lety +2

      Adultry is evil.

  • @earlgreystoke3324
    @earlgreystoke3324 Před 3 lety +116

    Why do Western women get involved in these relationships?

    • @pranilramdayal9097
      @pranilramdayal9097 Před 3 lety +59

      They get brainwashed and indoctrinated by the Muslim men

    • @annegreengables6367
      @annegreengables6367 Před 3 lety +44

      Women fall for the fake Public Relations from Islam. Then they figure out the truth.

    • @chanellee9762
      @chanellee9762 Před 3 lety +38

      Also I’m just going to be real, I hear often how good looking Arab/Muslim guys can be (the beard, the exotic features) and the way they take charge while simultaneously putting you on a “pedestal”. To summarize, these women can be sexually submissive, attracted to certain features and feel special by being wifed up by a dominant man. And if they convert on their own, a common trait i see in people before they converted is emotional instability where Islam steps in and gives them structure in their lives.

    • @earlgreystoke3324
      @earlgreystoke3324 Před 3 lety +27

      @@chanellee9762 People who trade freedom for the illusion of security end up losing both freedom & security.

    • @elisdeliofa5570
      @elisdeliofa5570 Před 3 lety +14

      @@chanellee9762 if you attracted and make relationship to someone just because their physical appearance then you are the issue. True love more than just appearance

  • @cpsaleemyt
    @cpsaleemyt Před 3 lety +97

    Islam does it's best to restrict women from having any independent life - whether it is studying, earning , succession, and even in matters of socializing and what she should wear . Then to claim that these same women must and do give their " free consent" for the man to take on another wife ! If there is no possibility to lead an independent, dignified life otherwise , is it surprising that the absolute majority of Muslim women give their " free consent" ?

    • @jolaola1987
      @jolaola1987 Před 3 lety +19

      You're right, by logic, where there is material and mental codependency, there can not be freedom of mind, nor personal independence.

    • @iampagan8564
      @iampagan8564 Před 2 lety +16

      Agreed.
      Muslim women be like : I am a queen. He provides me and I don’t leave the house at all...

    • @Rosefn1ss
      @Rosefn1ss Před 2 lety

      Wrong, please don't confuse Islam with culture.

    • @ithinkiknowme6450
      @ithinkiknowme6450 Před rokem +4

      @@Rosefn1ss i hope you're joking...

    • @ithinkiknowme6450
      @ithinkiknowme6450 Před rokem

      @@iampagan8564 to prevent a slave from escaping don't let her realise that she's stuck...by indoctrination of her mind..

  • @Zainab-is2kw
    @Zainab-is2kw Před 2 lety +32

    I did love marriage .He married to second secretly after 3 years of marriage.when i found out i gave him divorce.He was saying it is allowed in islam but i refused i said then i want to have second husband then

    • @mrfahrenheit685
      @mrfahrenheit685 Před 2 lety

      Lol. Maybe these guys that made me single this whole time. Hahaha

    • @Jahannam..or..Jannah
      @Jahannam..or..Jannah Před 2 lety +1

      Good, live your own life and be happy!. I don't trust Muslim men anymore.

    • @kraf9132
      @kraf9132 Před rokem

      Sister that man needed to study Islam properly before using it for his own advantage. It is sad that a man will not use the blessings of Allah wisely and actually abuse something which is good. May Allah correct and guide us.

    • @piek359
      @piek359 Před rokem +13

      Find someone whos going to cherish YOU and stay with you. All this “men are created polygamous in nature” ass comments here, ignore them. Know your worth. The right man will love you and only have eyes for you. There are thousands of men who are happy with monogamy and DIE and grow old in monogamy. My uncle was one of them he didnt even remarry when my auntie died out of love for her and wanting to be with her after death. Thats LOVE. Your turn will come ❤️

    • @fatemad4012
      @fatemad4012 Před 10 měsíci

      ​@@Jahannam..or..Jannahare you ex Muslim?

  • @momo19991
    @momo19991 Před rokem +19

    Most women would leave if they could and were financially capable.

  • @otherother6219
    @otherother6219 Před 3 lety +50

    my mother told me that she knew this man who had 2 wives, who didn't know that their husband was married to the other woman. he had 2 seperate houses, one with each wife, and children with the wives two. so he was basically living a double life and would disguise visiting the other house as a bussiness trip.

    • @PunishmentInGrave
      @PunishmentInGrave Před rokem +11

      Narcissist men

    • @humaafandi8894
      @humaafandi8894 Před 10 měsíci

      That is not an islamic problem. Atheists do it, too

    • @tabassumfatimaahmad1251
      @tabassumfatimaahmad1251 Před 7 měsíci +1

      He is biggest lier and lying is kabeera ( biggest ) sin. When he will die who will do his funeral first wife or second wife 😂😂😂
      Now men can't hide their relationship because of mobile phone

  • @kennyjansen7536
    @kennyjansen7536 Před 3 lety +43

    More wives, more children, more Muslims.

    • @heybeach2693
      @heybeach2693 Před 2 lety +21

      More problem,more poverty, more suffering

  • @piek359
    @piek359 Před rokem +21

    Crazy that two consenting adults being in a relationship or even talking to eachother without a mahram is so evil despite both of them choosing to do so and happy in doing so yet somehow going against your spouses back to go for a whole ass marriage is somehow legit. 🙃🙃🙃

  • @mithaqammanual3157
    @mithaqammanual3157 Před 2 lety +37

    This topic was always the most disturbing to hear about since I was a child. I highly respect Abdullah's acknowledgment of women's feelings. If everyone thought and considered others' feelings Islam would vanish.

  • @oprophetisfake9482
    @oprophetisfake9482 Před 3 lety +106

    I think Abdullah put it mildly when he was talking about Sawda. Basically the righteous example for all mankind was just going to dump her and leave her to starve, and she more or less had to beg him not to throw her and said that he could have her night with Aisha if he just didn't throw her away like trash. He really was treating her like a disposable wife. And Muhammad had his revelation to tell his wives that he could dump them all and Allah would provide him with better wives.
    It really is a joke!

    • @ericvulgate
      @ericvulgate Před 3 lety +13

      all 'spiritual revelations' are fraudulent.

    • @oprophetisfake9482
      @oprophetisfake9482 Před 3 lety +10

      @@ericvulgate Thank you for that spiritual revelation!

    • @kittye8340
      @kittye8340 Před 3 lety +24

      As a woman, we want to be loved and valued as humans. Even after our looks fade. Or, if we are unattractive we want our merits to be valuable. Islam and Mormonism and many other religions treat women as objects and as such, men want to buy their "money's worth"
      In short, they want a fertile, young, attractive woman who obeys them and fulfills the role they desire. Unfortunately that means misery for us because we are not treated like humans.
      They act like they are buying toys.

    • @MuhammadAmin-yy9bj
      @MuhammadAmin-yy9bj Před 2 lety

      @@kittye8340 You have providing wrong picture of Islam. You need to do some research.

    • @sambatra6162
      @sambatra6162 Před 2 lety +16

      @@MuhammadAmin-yy9bj you mean kitty E is providing the real picture of islam?

  • @ankitanandy6076
    @ankitanandy6076 Před 3 lety +48

    every video raises my respect for you!

  • @davidsexton6604
    @davidsexton6604 Před 2 lety +13

    Muslim men are not even aware that there even exists a road that leads to respect for each other and equality.

  • @nicolettahmuteti3763
    @nicolettahmuteti3763 Před 2 lety +26

    Am asking, what's the difference between getting married to a cheating husband, and getting married as a second wife.....

    • @RPhTom
      @RPhTom Před rokem

      Cheating is lying. If done correclty, the man should tell the woman BEFORE MARRIAGE that he will take another wife. It is forbidden to lie & cheat to your wives.

    • @blarstone9322
      @blarstone9322 Před rokem +3

      ​@@RPhTomHusband CAN lie to wife
      Asma bint Yazid narrated that the Messenger of Allah said:
      "it is not lawful to lie except in three cases: Something the man tells his wife to please her, to lie during war, and to lie in order to bring peace between the people." Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1939
      According to islamweb fatwa no. 82943
      It is permission for the husband to lie to his wife about having a second wife. He can even deny about having a second wife and there's no harm to it

    • @user-tz9hu9on5x
      @user-tz9hu9on5x Před 2 měsíci

      If a man cheats in a non-Islamic marriage, the woman has all the right to bring him down on his knees and get his assets legally in the process of divorce. Legal systems protect her and make him financially liable.
      No protection in a Islamic nikah. Man has all the right to legally have multiple wives with no consequence.

    • @RabiaSammy
      @RabiaSammy Před 2 měsíci

      that you know about it beforehand, thats if they tell you. some men whether its allowed or not will do it secretly theres many such cases.
      however in cheating would it feel better to someone if they had to ask "is it okay if i cheat?" most people are upset at the actual cheating, so its technically the same thing just with your "permission" but even in that case you know that he was at the very least attracted enough to someone else, so either say yes and have it infront of your face or have to live with the insecurity he may do it behind your back.
      i think women need to really decenter men especially emotionally if this is to work

  • @shaggy_lemons
    @shaggy_lemons Před 3 lety +73

    I peeped these flaws and more even as a kid (when I was muslim). It was offering women the worst kind of relationship, the worst aspects of monogamy (boredom, lack of novelty, etc..) without the best parts (fidelity, lack of stds and sti's, stability, safety, security, consistency, boundaries, etc..) AND also giving you the worst aspects of an open relationship (diseases, complications, envy, sharing resources) while not getting the best parts (access to sex with multiple attractive men of your choosing, novelty, variety, etc..). In order for men to get this kind of one sided relationship they have to stand on women, take everything, and have fuck all to offer in return.

    • @Beautiful_wonderful
      @Beautiful_wonderful Před 4 měsíci +1

      👏👏👏 You said it better than anyone could

    • @RobespierreThePoof
      @RobespierreThePoof Před 4 měsíci +1

      The most mature take on this issue I've seen.

    • @RobespierreThePoof
      @RobespierreThePoof Před 4 měsíci +1

      If you wanted to take your perfect analysis to the next level, you could look at the history of polygamy and polygamy from the perspective of evolutionary biology. I would propose that it is definitely an evolutionary advantage (it's all over nature in one form or another), but that the history of human civilization has taken us beyond needing that advantage.
      We don't like to call other cultures "primitive" because of how that's been done in racist ways for a long time in the past. However, in the case of Islam ... Well ... Let's call Islam "hung up on anachronisms."

  • @annafarago6527
    @annafarago6527 Před 25 dny +2

    As a Christian - I told my husband, if he ever cheats, he is out and divorce will follow. Married 50 years.

  • @JohnStopman
    @JohnStopman Před 3 lety +61

    Polygamy also decreases genetic diversity, especially in small communities.

    • @RPhTom
      @RPhTom Před rokem +1

      It also ensures that high value men have more offspring.

    • @JohnStopman
      @JohnStopman Před rokem +8

      @@RPhTom Which doesn't mean a factory worker is the lesser guy, far from it.

    • @RPhTom
      @RPhTom Před rokem +1

      @@JohnStopman value refers to reproductive value so a factory worker who doesn't have any money better have an awesome physique. Women look for long term mates with reproductive value; money, intelligence, physical strength, a powerful leader of other men, etc. In other words, women would rather share a Donald Trump, Arnold Schwarzeneggar or Einstein than be monogamous with your factory worker. Lol.

    • @JohnStopman
      @JohnStopman Před rokem +6

      @@RPhTom You are talking about certain [american] women (primarily the rich and entitled ones) having unreasonable standards/expectations. 95% of men don't look like george clooney anyways, and most women are content with less than that ;-)

    • @RPhTom
      @RPhTom Před rokem

      @@JohnStopman Lol. Women are never "content", especially with "less". Why do you think 50% of marriages end in divorce with the woman cheating being the biggest reason? If you have "less" (most men), you'd better know how to game them. Actually, even if you are a top 1% man, you still have to know game. Arnold Schwarzeneggar, Jeff Bezos, Einstein are all divorcees. Women are NEVER "content". Lol.

  • @afifkhaja
    @afifkhaja Před 3 lety +86

    Polygamy is the worst

    • @pranilramdayal9097
      @pranilramdayal9097 Před 3 lety +18

      It is soo sick,contributing to overpopulation

    • @dankmemes8254
      @dankmemes8254 Před 3 lety +12

      There is this one story of a woman was in polygamy relationship with 4 men she got pregnant and one of men killed the child polygamy is indeed the worst islam or not

    • @ottopotatum5775
      @ottopotatum5775 Před 3 lety +2

      @tom todd yaah the way it should be...you are an abdul who couldnt even come with a more convincing trolling name

    • @faaaduma6876
      @faaaduma6876 Před 3 lety +5

      Also, it's kind of gross when you think about.

    • @kumarsaieshrane9692
      @kumarsaieshrane9692 Před 3 lety

      @@pranilramdayal9097 No bro. It has no effect on the population. Because the women would have children anyway with different husbands.

  • @bradda8193
    @bradda8193 Před 3 lety +29

    Hey thanks for what you do 👍🏿

  • @el_killorcure
    @el_killorcure Před 3 lety +34

    Sameer, that's the problem with polygamy ANYWHERE, not just Islam.
    Those things you mentioned are built-in any religion that allows polygamy but not say, polyamory.
    The women become "sister-wives" at best, Mormon speak wise. But it ain't a democracy, it's always whatever the dude says, for if the current wives do not "consent" to new wives, there's always the threat of being replaced entirely.

    • @FriendlyExmuslim
      @FriendlyExmuslim  Před 3 lety +17

      Yep. Didn't say it was limited to Islam only. But my focus was the specifics of Islam here

    • @kellykelly9521
      @kellykelly9521 Před 2 lety +4

      That's a blessing to be divorced since he wants multiple wives. I'm leaving one that has married multiple women and they all have him khula. I'm sure once I'm gone he will be more desperate and find more victims. They will all leave him in the end as the others have.

    • @el_killorcure
      @el_killorcure Před 2 lety +1

      @@kellykelly9521 Are you allowed multiple husbands in your religion?
      If not, why didn't you once question that to your elder/imam/cult leader?

  • @stopscammingman
    @stopscammingman Před 3 lety +66

    Before I read the book Muhammad; Biography of the Prophet, I had been fooled into thinking his polygamous marriage was positive and functional. The author Karen Armstrong seemed to pre-emptively lambast western readers for thinking badly of it, only to let slip it was indeed awful and toxic!

    • @shadingoat3360
      @shadingoat3360 Před 3 lety +16

      I was taught for a man to to take a another wife he needs permission from the first wife 😂

    • @djfearross4144
      @djfearross4144 Před 3 lety +9

      That's what Karen's do.

    • @shadingoat3360
      @shadingoat3360 Před 3 lety +8

      @Aman Shafi I mean there are wives that allow it to happen.Or like most of the times from what I saw they are forced to accept it

    • @thefirm4606
      @thefirm4606 Před 3 lety +3

      Fantastic and eye opening book

    • @liberator275
      @liberator275 Před 3 lety +4

      karens are diseased by liberalism, fighting so called patriarchy only to support a far great version of patriarchal society than the West has ever known. western feminists are brave against judeo-christian approach, but very submissive when it comes to allah.

  • @sunsetgalaxy289
    @sunsetgalaxy289 Před 3 lety +17

    And yet you can divorce (talak) one of 4 and marry another and get another etc, etc..... besides concubines. It is called "UNLIMITED EDITION". Women in the world must wake up!!!

  • @vinaar_
    @vinaar_ Před 3 měsíci +5

    True it's hard for me to be fully faithful with Islam when I know Islam allows polygamy

  • @ranicalerp7765
    @ranicalerp7765 Před rokem +12

    My ex-boyfriend is an ex-muslim. He told me early on that he was polygamous and I told him I would consider it. But as the relationship continued, I began to see how unfair and unbalanced his views were on women. Ultimately it was the reason we broke up. Now, learning more about Islam from these videos, I can see how growing up Muslim still deeply affects his worldview. I don't blame him. I grew up Mormon and I understand. But it makes me very sad. To me it's an unhealthy mindset that was being used to avoid other internal problems. I'm not against polyamorous relationships, but there needs to be a lot of communication, fairness, and respect involved. Anyhow, thank you for sharing all of these videos. It's been my coping mechanism since we broke up because I miss him a lot..😢

    • @thatgirlcamillatravel6393
      @thatgirlcamillatravel6393 Před rokem +2

      Did you ever ask him why he was willing to bend on the islamic rule of not dating? By dating you, he was technically doing something "haram". By islamic standards, they only court which are essentially family meet ups. Then they marry if they're satisfied with the conversations. I'm so curios on this in your situation because I wonder was there any spiritual abuse there or any convenience in the rules he practiced and the ones he didn't? Like would he call you his girlfriend?

    • @ranicalerp7765
      @ranicalerp7765 Před rokem +2

      @@thatgirlcamillatravel6393
      He had left Islam about 10 years ago. So when I was dating him, he wasn't Muslim anymore. When he was, his parents tried to settle him in an arranged marriage, but he didn't want that. I don't know what kind of spiritual abuse you mean because honestly I think the religion itself is abusive to our inherent spirituality. He did eventually call me his girlfriend lol. But what he wanted was this thing where he could hop from wife one in house one to wife two or three in house two or three. And to have like 15 kids. But he also seemed to want this deep relationship with me where we could talk and feel secure and close with each other. And I just didn't understand how I was supposed to share him but I wasn't even allowed the same in return. I was his, but he wasn't mine. That's what he told me. So I told him we just didn't want the same things. He seemed really sad for everything to be over, but he didn't change his mind. It seemed like he was protecting himself...

    • @ZM-et7zt
      @ZM-et7zt Před 5 měsíci +3

      ​@@ranicalerp7765i recommend you dont waste your time pining over him. If he wanted you, he could have abandoned his unrealistic dream that hurt you and he didnt. Its funny that he abandoned Islam with all of its rules, discipline and restrictions but still wanted the perks of the religion, i.e. polygamy. I think he doesnt know what he wants but it definitely isn't you. And thats not a bad thing, you deserve better.

    • @annegreengables6367
      @annegreengables6367 Před měsícem

      ​@@ranicalerp7765 What did your "polygamous" boyfriend do for a living that he could eventually afford 3 houses and 15 children?

    • @ranicalerp7765
      @ranicalerp7765 Před měsícem +1

      @@annegreengables6367 he's a freelancer. Not practical at all

  • @almondsmithG
    @almondsmithG Před 3 lety +27

    I understand that the first wife can't do much about the situation,but why would a woman accept to marry a man that's already married and become the second wife? I don't mean in the case that she doesn't know, in Debbie's and her family's case, the other woman was aware of the situation. I don't get it.

    • @natalikronwald6177
      @natalikronwald6177 Před 3 lety +12

      It can have similar reasons as some women marrying imprisoned men. You don’t have to deal with this marriage normally on a daily basis but still can profit from emotional and also financial benefits. You can also start a family without having to deal with the father all the time. I knew some asexual women who were seriously considering this. Others told me that if he was already married she wouldn’t have to worry that „he was going to cheat“. I honestly don’t get this mindset either but it seems they have their reasons.

    • @almondsmithG
      @almondsmithG Před 3 lety +2

      @@natalikronwald6177 „he was going to cheat“- With two wives and four kids, for example, he won't have the time nor the money to fool around, I guess.

    • @SR-mv2mf
      @SR-mv2mf Před 2 lety +6

      Same question!!. I don’t want to get in the middle of some family dramas by marrying an already married man. Then again I have the freedom of financial independence. Perhaps in this case the second wife is not able to take care of herself financially

    • @GabrielaLtc
      @GabrielaLtc Před 2 lety +8

      There are women who become mistresses of married men, they seek security and don't care they ruin a marriage. I guess muslim women do the same.

    • @theaviationist.5719
      @theaviationist.5719 Před 2 lety +1

      First of all such women are indoctrinated, brainwashed and conditioned in Muhammadism (Islam). Then it’s easy streets from there on for the men to take complete advantage. These women are broken down emotionally and psychologically from the moment they start believing in Islam.
      And most of such women suffer with Low self esteem and confidence. Women are more selfware when it comes to their appearance to start off with, then ontop of that you conditions them with religious nonsense about Polygamy being okay. That’s a recipe for disaster for them. 😳

  • @agustinabarral1287
    @agustinabarral1287 Před 3 lety +19

    You are incredible man! You have My support and admiration! You are as intelectually honest as empathic!

    • @aminuaidara8601
      @aminuaidara8601 Před rokem

      To bad for u an him this arrogant fool who think they knows better than the almighty God u an him will know at the end who is the slave and who is the master

  • @kadnan6111
    @kadnan6111 Před 3 lety +37

    I am okay if its open relationship where both partners agree to be with other persons but islamic polygamy is messed up and its just benefit of men, before it was much easier, nowadays its little tough, but let me say you its all about Sex nothing else,

    • @leemawilliams4183
      @leemawilliams4183 Před 2 lety +1

      💯💯

    • @kellykelly9521
      @kellykelly9521 Před 2 lety +1

      When sex is terrible and multiple wives what's the purpose to be married?

    • @user-go9kw6wf4m
      @user-go9kw6wf4m Před 2 lety

      @@kellykelly9521 why not for women

    • @ююю-ч9д
      @ююю-ч9д Před 6 měsíci

      Catholicism tells men to love their wives like Christ loved the Church. But Islamic marriage is all about sex, sex and more sex. I'm not Christian btw, but I think Islam is the shallowest religion.

  • @jasper6032
    @jasper6032 Před 2 lety +17

    If a man has more then one wife .. It is not love the whole situation is just LUST he does Not love any of them Not the first ( because he married someone else ) not second or third or fourth !! you only can share a bond with one person

    • @RPhTom
      @RPhTom Před rokem

      So, you can only have 1 child? Ca't love more than 1?

    • @BadKarma108
      @BadKarma108 Před 8 měsíci

      Pls stfup it's not like that at all. Some are like that but you can't just generalize a whole group of people who are into polygamy or polymory. Also did you know polygyny exists too? Some people can love more then one person and marry them. That's doesn't mean the love decreases for the other. That's just stereotype. People in the west are also fighting for poly rights especially the lgbt community. When it comes to religions like Islam and Christianity it is very problematic because of the treatment of women

    • @farihariti777
      @farihariti777 Před 3 měsíci

      My grandfather has one wife and that one wife gave birth to 8 beautiful child.so what are you talking about? It is that one women who gave birth to 8 babies,not every woman and men are the same.

  • @Almuhsin98653
    @Almuhsin98653 Před 3 lety +14

    Great work abdullah

  • @greenpeace1474
    @greenpeace1474 Před 3 lety +24

    Thanks for exposing these evils
    Most of us don’t know this

  • @thefirm4606
    @thefirm4606 Před 3 lety +29

    The best of all men. Setting the bar lowwwww since the 700s…

  • @christineharley6486
    @christineharley6486 Před 3 lety +25

    People, please share this videos around esp those in UK to help all the naive white British women not to fall into Islam. TQ Abdullah Sameer!

    • @fz8476
      @fz8476 Před 3 lety

      At first, you should know the responsibility of husband. He is the one who are take care of you in daily life, for safety, welfare. He need to provide you food, house etc. You are not even need to go to work in islam to fund your family.
      In a case of polygyamy..it is about fair. If men cannot do fair to woman, not has ability, financial, etc. They are not allow to marry even one wive.
      For the polygamy, it just a solution. For example, after 10 year of married, the wive cannot pregnant. Your husband want to have son/daughter. And If you practising monogamy, that mean your husband must divorce you at first place and marry another woman even he love you. That is not fair for you.
      Trough polygamy. There is solution for husband and at the same time he no need to divorce you. He still take care of you until the end of life.

    • @BT-qs7id
      @BT-qs7id Před 2 lety +4

      @@fz8476 Sounds like you live a perverts life

    • @theaviationist.5719
      @theaviationist.5719 Před 2 lety

      @@fz8476 What the fck?
      This is the 21st century where a man alone can’t provide for his stay at home wife and children. Women also have to work in order for the family to make ends meet.
      And will you be okay with a woman also having 4 husbands? Why is it good for a man but bad for a woman?

    • @fz8476
      @fz8476 Před 2 lety +1

      @@theaviationist.5719 then, marry only one. What is the problem. If you not capable financially, that mean you not allow to marry than one.

    • @fz8476
      @fz8476 Před 2 lety

      @@theaviationist.5719 is that ok if you have one father, but you have 4 step mother.
      Or, is that ok if you have one mother, but you have 4 father.
      Which one sound ok for you. Dont denial and hypocrit about this.
      Think about it and answer it.

  • @rajeshshetty4862
    @rajeshshetty4862 Před 3 lety +9

    Amazing Facts ..Thanks for bringing out Truth.

  • @keithmoschetto3566
    @keithmoschetto3566 Před 2 lety +20

    I always thought this was practiced in ancient times because so many men died in warfare and the rich men were in a position to support two or more wives. It is unfair because some men would be left without a partner.

    • @RPhTom
      @RPhTom Před rokem

      This is true, that's why islam LIMITED the number of wives to 4. Before this decree, some rich aholes woupd hog all the women.

    • @RabiaSammy
      @RabiaSammy Před 2 měsíci +1

      also if it was normalized i think women would catch on and choose "the best mate" as it was before religion, many kings had dozens of wives, so men came up with alternative methods to attract a female partner if they were broke through romance

  • @BQ900
    @BQ900 Před rokem +4

    How is lying and cheating good? My husband said any man can have many women but it takes a special kind of man to form a family and a bond with one woman. My husband is Muslim and he told me he was marrying a woman in his home country. Later, he divorced her and changed his mind about that philosophy.

    • @leveticus1461
      @leveticus1461 Před 11 měsíci

      Yikes

    • @SayedaMehjabin
      @SayedaMehjabin Před 3 měsíci +1

      Girrl are soo lucky if your husband came back to you.

    • @mariastejereanu
      @mariastejereanu Před 26 dny +1

      ​@@SayedaMehjabinHow that?!?!?
      She should divorce him. So, he remains alone.

  • @successfulperson3304
    @successfulperson3304 Před 3 lety

    This was so interesting….bizar.
    Love your channel!

  • @Shineynsparkles
    @Shineynsparkles Před 2 lety +8

    This stupid system does not benefit children or wife at all in 1st and 2nd world countries cause when pops passes you should see the fights over inheritances !
    It’s messy

    • @kraf9132
      @kraf9132 Před rokem

      Distribute the inheritance early on and for whats left over write it in the will and keep with lawyers all problems solved

    • @fatemad4012
      @fatemad4012 Před 10 měsíci +1

      ​@@kraf9132the inherence will be less and more kids will remain poor

  • @wepshead
    @wepshead Před 3 lety +10

    Thanks sameer for exposing, I was still thinking in western countries Muslim men don't have multiple wife's' bcos polygamy is banned.

  • @Mia-ge7xf
    @Mia-ge7xf Před 2 lety

    i completely agree with this! so informative

  • @gurdeepdalpath8009
    @gurdeepdalpath8009 Před 3 lety +8

    This woman is so honest in his nature .

  • @ENFPerspectives
    @ENFPerspectives Před 2 lety +10

    Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
    “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ a and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
    “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
    Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
    The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
    Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others-and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
    Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them.
    Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.
    Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?”
    “Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.”
    “Which ones?” he inquired.
    Jesus replied, “ ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’
    “All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?”
    Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
    When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.
    Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”
    When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?”
    Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
    Peter answered him, “We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?”
    Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.
    Matthew 18

    • @ююю-ч9д
      @ююю-ч9д Před 6 měsíci

      I don't get it. First he says husband and wife shouldn't separate, then he says whoever leaves his wife for him will get to heaven?

  • @honeycomb416
    @honeycomb416 Před 3 lety +9

    Friendly ex-muslim I've just subscribed to your channel.
    Keep sharing the truth.

  • @Skyl3r07
    @Skyl3r07 Před 3 lety +19

    Much love and respect to you Abdullah Sameer 💕

  • @ojasvashishtha4453
    @ojasvashishtha4453 Před 2 lety +7

    Polygamy should be banned now. It's toooo outdated.

  • @davidsexton6604
    @davidsexton6604 Před 2 lety +4

    Living inthe Mid East for many years l met many Muslim men especially Palestinians who married western girls and had children in Europe and after a few decades working in Europe left the European wife by telling me !" Oh my mother is very old and she begged me to come home and marry ( a very young ) local girl so his mother can die in peace ! I heard this story many times .

    • @kraf9132
      @kraf9132 Před rokem

      I can’t speak for them but it is very well established that a man is responsible and he is responsible for his children until they can take care of themselves and they will always remain his children regardless of age, so this is a religious duty prescribed directly by Allah (God). It seems the issue is with the men and their loyalty or financial capabilities and not to do with religion.

    • @AllUKLuv
      @AllUKLuv Před 4 měsíci

      ☠️

  • @leemawilliams4183
    @leemawilliams4183 Před 2 lety +4

    💯💯I totally agree wit what y’all both saying

  • @saraha-oi5sm
    @saraha-oi5sm Před 3 měsíci +2

    Can you imagine the diseases and the disgusting stuff resulting from this sh*t

  • @smukpk
    @smukpk Před 3 lety +6

    As a Muslim, I don't no any Muslims with more than one wife.
    Good to here the womens side of the story.

    • @theman8070
      @theman8070 Před 3 lety +13

      Some kept it secret 😜they don't wana say they have girls friends with bunch of babies because of islam morality per say, and don’t want to say many wives because of the law of the land.. so double standards 😒

    • @kraf9132
      @kraf9132 Před rokem +1

      @@theman8070 what type of woman would marry such a man and what type of girlfriends would they be to this man, so it seems to me the woman are to blame in these cases just as much as the man, so if this one man made mistakes it seems to me multiple women made mistakes here too

  • @ENFPerspectives
    @ENFPerspectives Před 2 lety +6

    This is why men pay child support. They want to have multiple wives and not take care of their offspring, yet are more financially dependent because they generally make more money, as they wife generally does most of the child rearing, even if she is employed, effectively making her have two jobs, her employer and her home. I think the government should let people consider household duties employment, and people should contract them out. Also, marriage contracts should be taken more seriously.

  • @steviedfromtheflyovercount4739

    Question..... If an equal number of children who are born are female and male=50/50. Then if some men take more than one wife, there are less women in the "marriage pool", is he depriving another male of a chance to marriage and have kids and a nice family life?

    • @shanudiyapage
      @shanudiyapage Před 2 lety +3

      they don't care about them lol

    • @ottopotatum5775
      @ottopotatum5775 Před 2 lety +5

      Thats why polygamy is bad

    • @RPhTom
      @RPhTom Před rokem

      More men die in war & are gay than women. There are 6 million more straight, single women than men in america.

    • @RabiaSammy
      @RabiaSammy Před 2 měsíci

      yes, and messes up genetic diversity if 50 kids from one man are related to eachother. father figures are important in households, a man with multiple households cant be a present father figure

  • @toiletroll6494
    @toiletroll6494 Před 3 lety +2

    Amazing topics, well done Abdullah- can you discuss about Halala marriage on your next topic?

  • @graciahabibi4887
    @graciahabibi4887 Před 2 lety +2

    New subscribers here...
    God bless us all

  • @highesteem2778
    @highesteem2778 Před rokem +5

    Polygamy done justly is extremely rare. Not even woman is fit for polygamy. No man should force his first wife into polygamy . She might stay because of the kids, but she will die inside her and that marriage too

  • @ikr2377
    @ikr2377 Před 11 měsíci +3

    Men are now saying they can secretly marry a second wife

  • @oggypilestro6343
    @oggypilestro6343 Před 2 lety

    Thanks for the info

  • @uledisuddie952
    @uledisuddie952 Před rokem +2

    Deborah's story has truly shed much more light onto Islam . I truly feel sorry for her that she had to go through all of this . In the present day this would be considered wrong and rightfully so .

  • @mmmcounts
    @mmmcounts Před 3 lety +8

    Thanks for doing this Abdullah. I have one request- when you talk about the so called prophet Muhammad, could you refer to him as the so called prophet sometimes? I would greatly appreciate it, and I think that some other people would too.

  • @beegeessongs17
    @beegeessongs17 Před 3 lety +12

    We really dont serve the same God..this Allah have all the crazy rules...but not my Lord Jesus

    • @thtguyish
      @thtguyish Před 3 lety +3

      Well you clearly haven't read the full bible cover to cover

    • @chrisooi5545
      @chrisooi5545 Před 2 lety

      @@thtguyish You think you have read the bible from cover to cover. You read but you do not understand. Read what Jesus says about marriage.

    • @AllUKLuv
      @AllUKLuv Před 4 měsíci

      @@thtguyishOld Testament allowed it only for population increase in the world after men became lustful with it Paul made laws for men to have 1 wife only

    • @mariastejereanu
      @mariastejereanu Před 26 dny

      ​@@AllUKLuvOld testament is so. Not in the New Testament, not with Lord Jesus.

  • @maryarunima
    @maryarunima Před 4 měsíci

    Wonderful message brother

  • @karldunne5595
    @karldunne5595 Před 3 měsíci +4

    Joseph Smith was similar 🤔......

  • @eliassjavaran8409
    @eliassjavaran8409 Před 3 lety +22

    Imagine if muslim women could also marry with five men in same time, it would be more fairly Lol :D

    • @MuhammadAmin-yy9bj
      @MuhammadAmin-yy9bj Před 2 lety

      You are talking about a porn studio, I think. Marrying is not just sex with multiple partners, it is a commitment to protect, shelter and provision to multiple women and children and it is only for those man who can afford more than one wife. Hope people here understand.

    • @theaviationist.5719
      @theaviationist.5719 Před 2 lety +2

      @@MuhammadAmin-yy9bj What’s so wrong about a woman having 5 husbands that adore her?
      This apologistics nonsense from muslims trying to defend the indefensible is funny.
      Hypocrisy from Islam and all the othee religions that are male oriented.
      All the good things are for a man and all the subjugation is for the woman.
      Only idiotss would try rationalising such rubbish.

    • @jasper6032
      @jasper6032 Před 2 lety +1

      @@MuhammadAmin-yy9bj its ALL ABOUT SEX !! More then one woman its just sex .. No love

    • @Katie-yl7cl
      @Katie-yl7cl Před 2 lety

      @@MuhammadAmin-yy9bj bs it’s all wrong the fact Muslim people don’t see as wrong speaks volume. Getting another wife is basically saying the first one is not enough, without using any words, alI I can say is RIP to Muslim woman mental health. You guys really care about them lol 😂😂 since you guys like to use fear may god judge and hold all men accountable for their actions. Momo is already burning 🔥 in hell right now for misleading and brainwashing.

    • @marion34999
      @marion34999 Před 2 lety

      Last few minutes are about polygamy in this video - czcams.com/video/hkAJj3wJlrc/video.html

  • @theguynextdoor4978
    @theguynextdoor4978 Před 3 lety +6

    How about establishing what's ok/not ok before marrying her? Is polygamy a violation of her boundaries? what is the definition of cheating for both parties? are they on the same wavelength, and do their values match? It takes two to tango, and mutual respect is crucial in any human relationship. The vast majority of people would not be ok with polygamy, or "open relationships". Personally, I've never really seen any of these relationships work out. More often than not, it will break a relationship, and not make one.

    • @FriendlyExmuslim
      @FriendlyExmuslim  Před 3 lety +8

      I dont agreeing think before marriage is enough. What if you change your mind or didnt understand the implications? What matters is if there is agreement in the current moment, not what you said 7 years ago.

    • @theguynextdoor4978
      @theguynextdoor4978 Před 3 lety +2

      @@FriendlyExmuslim It all depends on the different circumstances. Every marriage is different. I heard about cases where for example where there has been an agreement in place to lock the woman into a marriage. Once they tied the knot, he gradually started to introduce more and more outrageous things.

    • @RabiaSammy
      @RabiaSammy Před 2 měsíci

      the people who attracted to polygamous arrangements dont do so for a loving relationship. i think the main motive for men is to have a range of women in a "halal" way. a 2 witness marriage is a very easy one sided open relationship. women who are attracted to polygamous marriages probably is for the same reason as hypergamous women, money and resources

    • @theguynextdoor4978
      @theguynextdoor4978 Před 2 měsíci +1

      ​@@RabiaSammy , I have witnessed this personally in Dubai. Lots of sugar babies are only in it for the bling, bling, and money. The men flash their money and get to have many women, and the women open their legs for luxury. As a Scandinavian guy, I don't support these kinds of arrangements. But they exist, and we cannot control it. We're all responsible for our own actions.
      All women are hypergamous to some extent. But there's a big difference between being a heartless gold digger and wanting an ordinary guy who has his finances together.

  • @dinimueter539
    @dinimueter539 Před 3 měsíci +1

    If you’re a warlord it’s good to have many young single men. They are more willing to go to war.

  • @mo-sy9ws
    @mo-sy9ws Před 27 dny +1

    In my late teenw I became friends with a muslim arab young man. His father would divorce a wive as to take another newer wife. Had one of ex in each middle eastern country. Instant disgust!

  • @joeteohpaktee4227
    @joeteohpaktee4227 Před 3 lety +4

    The islam man told the lady that he will get a 2 wife, yet the lady still want to marry him, she ask for it

  • @tabassumfatimaahmad1251
    @tabassumfatimaahmad1251 Před 9 měsíci +5

    Islam doesnt encourage puligumi. Even allah said if you cant justice marry only one wife and allah said even you men can never give jutice between your wives so keep only one wife. As a muslim woman even i can never accept poligumi but i believe allah is a creater and he made this law for support women in bad condition like war etc and reduced adultry and rape. In olden time men die more compare to women but in modern age its not happening. Women can work now and even husband die or divorce them they are capable to stand themselves.
    And if they want to marry another men, lots of men available like widow man or divorcy men however its few women fault because they dont want to marry to support a men who has no wife. Some women they are lazy and greedy for money, they like to marry with married men who has already wife and children and they know even he is a married man and still they make affair with the married man and become ready to a second wife or third and fourth.
    Muhammad PEACE BE UPON HIM never married until his first wife died because he loves his first wife and respect her and he has children with his firsrt wife. 10 years he was living as a widow man and looked after children very well ans spread the deen and for the islam he married so many wives and gave support to women because there is war happened and lots of women left widow and he alwarys give justice to each wife.
    Now a days some Muslim scholars they are very harsh and rude and they encourag ploigumi and they keep muslim women' s mouth shut.
    Women are women 's enemy if women know he is already married man why they are ready to marry with him. If my husband divorced me or he is died and (I dont want to) always pray for him that allah give him healthy and long life) , I would never accept to become a second wife. How can i hurt a woman as being a woman.
    Its a highly recommended if you want a second wife ask your firsr wife if she is ready amd happy its fine but its very rare . Some women have no children still they dont want to their husband marry another women but few women say ok marry another women so you can have children.
    some harsh and very stupid scholar say no need to ask wife and even dont tell your firsr wife or even dont tell another women that you are already married. Some men are pigs and coward they dont tell even their wife or another woman they are already married thatsy more divorce is happening now a days.

    • @SayedaMehjabin
      @SayedaMehjabin Před 3 měsíci

      Allahumma Barik. Your points are soo valid.Tbh I'm not against polygyny. But I cannot accept it for my marriage. I've been through childhood traumas and insecurities. And I do accept my flaws. I know it's my problem that I cannot handle polygyny, it's not necessarily because of jealousy, it's because of my mental health. I just hope I'll find a man who'll be monogamous with me willingly. I know men are polygamous. But I want someone who wants to be in a monogamous relationship with me😞

  • @lindsayhartman7135
    @lindsayhartman7135 Před rokem +1

    I love this man❤ hes so brave to speak out🎉

    • @aminuaidara8601
      @aminuaidara8601 Před rokem

      Men have always married multiple women even before lslam an Why wouldn't you luv him the Western countries hav brainwashed u this ignorant man knows better than the almighty God tell me

  • @humanity8809
    @humanity8809 Před 3 lety +7

    Islam did not want women baby making machines but just for lust.How many kids He got from Nine ones.How many did Hazrat Bilal had ,the prayer caller with the most attractive voice.

  • @Ragameiste
    @Ragameiste Před 3 lety +6

    She fortified the cliche 'dumb blonde'

    • @cschandragiri
      @cschandragiri Před 3 lety

      So true! She married him illegally, she can’t complain

  • @sc00119
    @sc00119 Před 2 lety +5

    Thank you for this! Muslims trying to justify polygamy by saying "Muslim men are polygamists by nature, Allah has created them like that - it is their need to have more than 1 wife" I actually started thinking that this might be true, women might be different than men. But then I thought that if by nature men are polygamous then by nature it is hard for women to accept this. There are many verses in the Quran about the Prophet's wives and their jealousies. We also know that Prophet Muhammad didn't allow his son in law Ali to take a second wife because it would hurt his daughter Fatima. (Also, why was there a different rule for Prophet Muhammad's daughter?) Anyway, knowing that women might suffer a lot because of this, how can this be ok? How?? This can only mean that women's opinions, feelings etc. do not matter at all in Islam. But after watching your video and other videos from other people, it gives me hope that there are some nice men in this world who actually care about women's emotions and feelings. And I don't understand how Muslim women can be ok with this 🤮

    • @ashleytheseeker8480
      @ashleytheseeker8480 Před rokem +2

      When you're told, if you don't accept polygamy then you don't accept Allah and his Messenger, you try you're best to make "allah" happy and accept this as your jihad.

    • @kraf9132
      @kraf9132 Před rokem

      Men lean to be polygamists and women lean to be hypergamous it doesn’t mean all men are polygamous and all women are hypergamous but we must all control our desires and egos. Also in the case of Prophet Muhammad he is the guardian of his daughter when alive so by custom and tradition he has to approve/accept the marriage if he does not accept for whatever reason it does not happen(why he has this power because he is financially taking care of his daughter not because he is a control freak ok) likewise no one can force a woman to marry or to marry anyone. On the other hand if a woman chooses to marry a man without her fathers blessing or whoever is her guardian or like closest family members responsible for her then she can do so but she has to risk being Disowned by the family. If this is what she wants ok but not all familes are open minded a woman might have to risk losing her family ties so its up to her to figure it out what is her priority. Also your comments on Muslim women are not true as us Muslim men must take care of our women in a very noble manner and please don’t generalize it is very tacky and cliche and low class. Cheers

    • @kraf9132
      @kraf9132 Před rokem

      @@ashleytheseeker8480 Its just a religious rule thats whats ment when we say we have to accept polygamy as its part of nature, its a theology to accept that polygamy is religiously allowed. Its a low priority option but its not a commandment or something we desire as the ideal situation is one man and one woman in a marriage and this is what God says in the Quran. God says it is difficult to be fair and just in polygamy so we must avoid this to our best abilities but it is an option in the second worst case scenario, the worst case scenario is divorce.

    • @kraf9132
      @kraf9132 Před rokem

      No not Muslim men all men like i said have polygamy TENDENCIES, does not mean we are cheaters it means some have temptations and they make mistakes not all men!!! Also women have hypergamous TENDENCIES which means she might be tempted to “monkey-branch” (cheating risks) and also being hypergamous will mean the woman has super duper high standarss and rejects like 99.9 percent of men so again this desire should be controlled in women as to not cause a unstable wrecked life

    • @kraf9132
      @kraf9132 Před rokem

      You have so many assumptions i don’t know where to start and so many judgements in there lol. Men do not have a need to be polygamous, some will have a want to do it, a NEED is NOT=WANT, a need is not a want, a need is a physiological survival and propagation instinct while a want is an egotistical desire. Again please try not to generalize I dunno where you are collecting your information data and sources lol. Anyways

  • @whateva12345
    @whateva12345 Před rokem +3

    I knew a m. man who married a blind woman, who does begging on the streets and he lives on her.....here he will go to heaven because he did a good deed of marrying her....he loses nothing....he can marry more

  • @humanity8809
    @humanity8809 Před 3 lety +6

    Had polygamy been good prophet would not have got in a mess for thirty days with them according to Quran.They were threatened by Allah either to be submissive or they would be replaced with pious,prayers saying, fast keeping, unmarried and widow ones.Hazrat Sauda was taken back on compromise and Allah permittd he should go to the one whomever he liked most .Choice was given so where was justice among them.

  • @anggabriel1059
    @anggabriel1059 Před 2 lety +13

    If a man expects his Woman to be an Angel in his life; Then he should create first a Heaven for her

    • @jasper6032
      @jasper6032 Před 2 lety +1

      Ang Gabriel IF ALLAH said this why verse 4:34 ??? Beat them how this heaven on earth ???

    • @kraf9132
      @kraf9132 Před rokem

      Well women need to free themselves from modern feminism and also patriarchal cultural religion both of which harm them but yes spiritual teachings are fair and bring harmony to a couple so real revelations from God are fair to both genders, i am speaking of holy texts not man made interpretations and cultural movements based on these revelations.

    • @kraf9132
      @kraf9132 Před rokem

      @@jasper6032 that is a last resort case or divorce and there has to be an extreme justification and proof for why a man would physically harm his woman who is his queen so physical abuse should never happen but unfortunately some women may make huge mistakes and sometimes some beating is unfortunately justified but it should be light and not be on the face. If the woman doesn’t correct herself in fast time then divorce is the option as domestic abuse is not allowed so if a woman betrays a man on huge issues in life there is a chance for repentance. If a man makes a huge mistake towards the wife she can divorce him but in this case it is called khula divorce so a woman doesn’t need a reason to divorce a man in Islam but if she does this divorce she does not receive the mahr or financial compensation that was agreed at marriage. If she asks for traditional divorce which is talaq the man agrees then he shall provide what he promised which is his financial support the dowry/mahr. If the man initiates a divorce also its a traditional divorce or talaq as i have said so the man must provide the mahr or financial compensation. Anyways God wills that a married couple remain for life and in love and that they are one heart body mind and soul and are a support for each other and that they are a clothes (protective covering for each other) all of this is found in the Bible and Quran. The reality of life is some people harm others and have proportional reasonable punishments and chances to correct, rectify and repent. So any physical violence is wrong except in a tiny exceptions and honestly at that point a divorce might be on the table.

    • @kraf9132
      @kraf9132 Před rokem

      @@jasper6032 This world is not heaven on Earth but we must try to make it heaven on Earth.

    • @kraf9132
      @kraf9132 Před rokem

      Correct the man should take the initiative and lead and act first and then the woman will reflect what he has done so yes the man must take the first step and the woman has to return the good intentions and actions and then the man should also initiate good gestures back to the wife in a cycle like a ying yang but ultimately this is what God wants for a couple to grow and develop over time not to use each other for materialistic egotistical and selfish temporal means

  • @LeavingIslam
    @LeavingIslam Před 11 měsíci +5

    I left islam

    • @fatemad4012
      @fatemad4012 Před 10 měsíci

      Can you say where are you from?

    • @raees140
      @raees140 Před 6 měsíci +1

      I hate polygamy. if my husband marries some other woman I can definitely leave Islam. I JUST HATE POLYGAMY. ,😣 I can't share my husband. I can even kill my children of I ever go through that pain.

    • @AllUKLuv
      @AllUKLuv Před 4 měsíci

      @@raees140relax no need to destroy your own kids that’s selfish

    • @RabiaSammy
      @RabiaSammy Před 2 měsíci

      @@raees140 me too i do become murderous at the thought of it ngl

  • @momonotever8847
    @momonotever8847 Před 3 lety +5

    Your thinking that one man with multiple wives produces more children is totally flawed unless the population naturally has more female children than male. (Most societies have balanced male/female populations) Think about it if one man marries one woman and they have five children and there are ten men that do this then you have fifty children. If one man marries ten women and they have five children per woman then you have fifty children. The problem begins here as you have nine other men that have no wives so they are frustrated and take their anger out on society in the form of prostitution, rape, lusting after other men's wives causing constant dirty linen from all the masturbating going on etc etc.

  • @secularvalue1114
    @secularvalue1114 Před 3 lety +7

    DNA , determines who the father is.
    So muslim women can now take up multiple husbands

  • @rajkanorom2323
    @rajkanorom2323 Před rokem +3

    This is so crazy, when I used to be a Muslim, I knew personally about many people (most pretended to be very religious) who actually had more wives.
    Also, this is very common among the Muslims in Europe, and same way as Deb told, that polygamy is illegal, but they had Islamic marriages done (which are nowhere to find by the State Officials).

    • @aminuaidara8601
      @aminuaidara8601 Před rokem

      😂😂😂😂😂 Islam will live to the end u will not today with all u people ar saying to demonize lslam more Western women ar accepting lslam in the Western countries 😊😊😊😊😊

    • @humaafandi8894
      @humaafandi8894 Před 10 měsíci +1

      You don´t sound like an ex Muslim - I am a Muslim and know no one who does this :)

    • @fatemad4012
      @fatemad4012 Před 10 měsíci

      ​@@humaafandi8894Muslims couldn't create simple medicine to save lives without west and modern none religious men all your family will die with simple desease yes polygamy is very beneficial 😂

    • @PeaceOnEarthandMercyMild
      @PeaceOnEarthandMercyMild Před 9 měsíci

      ​@@humaafandi8894its done in my country too.

  • @DomDeVille
    @DomDeVille Před 4 měsíci +2

    I’m a recent revert, and I feel like I will have a hard enough time finding one good wife, let alone four. Seems to be financially and mentally draining. Nonetheless, I understand the history and the reasoning behind it.

    • @SayedaMehjabin
      @SayedaMehjabin Před 3 měsíci +2

      I'm a muslim girl. Tbh I've never hated polygyny. Wallahi.....I don't hate people who practice polygyny. But there are men who marries out of ego, to become more, experience varieties. But if we look into history, we'll notice polygyny was practiced to help widow or orphan women. And now? Wth? Some men don't even feel any empathy for their wives. Men has given this right.....but misusing it is worse. They suffocate their wives and give them identical crisis. They tell their wives to accept polygyny or else they don't fear God. I mean....we all have our limitations. And the horrible thing is that they first assure their wives that they'll be monogamous, but then brings another girl out of nowhere. Okay if you wanna marry again. But plz let your partner know from the start. Get a girl who'll practice it. Why make it hard for your wife? I'm not married, and I hope my husband stays monogamous. And that's my personal requirement. Cause I've been through childhood traumas and insecurities. And getting a man who wants a second wife will ruin my mental health. Many men thinks women's lives are easy. But in this world no one's life is easy. The things that are easy for men isn't easy for us women....and that's Allah's wisdom. This is our test. We women find it terrible to leave our families and live with our partners, but still do it anyways. We do find pregnancy scary but still birth babies. Many men don't ever try to acknowledge or understand our struggles. They think we have it easy cause they pay for us. I just hope I will find a man who'll love me only in this world😞. Cause after all men will be gifted witj pretty hoors in Jannah.

    • @DomDeVille
      @DomDeVille Před 3 měsíci +1

      @@SayedaMehjabin I’m moved by your perspective. I’m a relatively new revert, and my experience is with western women who on one hand want to act entitled to everything a man has, while on the other hand claiming that they’re independent. They say they want to be treated like a wife, but feel like acting as a wife is oppressive. Perhaps those are the types who lead me to Islam.

    • @youtubestudiosucks978
      @youtubestudiosucks978 Před 2 měsíci +1

      ​@@SayedaMehjabinno, you're not muslim women arent even allowed to talk or they get stoned to death. Stop pretending you're a woman when you're just a man.

  • @credibility63
    @credibility63 Před 3 lety +2

    In England a lot of Islamic marriages are not completing the civil process. So the wife has no recourse to the legal system if the marriage breaks down

  • @nannypooh-pooh6167
    @nannypooh-pooh6167 Před 3 lety +15

    Great vid as usual @FriendlyExmuslim. Some points: polygamy doesn't lead to net more kids for Islam than 1:1 marriage among two muslims, since, as you observed, a proportionate number of men will be left out... EXCEPT when paired with conversion, with or without consent. So sex-captives/slaves/wives have a big marginal value with polygamy. Relatedly, having many men who can't get a mate is bad for a stable society, but GREAT for a warlike one, as it incentivizes them to fight, especially when paired with the promise of 4 wives and unlimited concubines. Since Islam is structured for eternal fighting, from a game theory standpoint that's a winning equation, unless it ever reached its goal of world dominion, since there's no "off switch." But obviously Momo didn't really care what would happen after he was gone, long as no one else married his wives. Also, on the flip side, polygamy DOES appeal to women's animal instinct of hypergamy, whereby many would rather share a top 10% man with other women that have exclusivity with a lower tier man; something interesting to look into. Toodles!

    • @FriendlyExmuslim
      @FriendlyExmuslim  Před 3 lety +5

      Thanks for the thoughts Nanny Pooh-Pooh

    • @nannypooh-pooh6167
      @nannypooh-pooh6167 Před 3 lety +3

      @@FriendlyExmuslim Your' most welcome, and thank you for your reply. I'd love to know your thoughts on my thoughts on your thoughts :-).

    • @ottopotatum5775
      @ottopotatum5775 Před 2 lety

      @@nannypooh-pooh6167 this is how polygamy creates an unstable society

  • @anggabriel1059
    @anggabriel1059 Před 2 lety +29

    A real Man never hurts a Woman, Be very careful when you make a Woman cry because God counts her Tears. The Woman came out of a Man's Rib, not from his feet to be walked on, Not from his head to be superior, But from his side to be Equal, Under the arm to be protected and next to the Heart to be Loved.

    • @jasper6032
      @jasper6032 Před 2 lety +10

      If allah said this then why he allow 4 wives ??? this hurts women !! 1 man 1 woman and two become one

    • @ottopotatum5775
      @ottopotatum5775 Před 2 lety

      Lol

    • @heybeach2693
      @heybeach2693 Před 2 lety

      Exactly! Thank you!

    • @ithinkiknowme6450
      @ithinkiknowme6450 Před rokem

      Why testimony of 1 man= 2 woman..how is a woman suppose to bring witness if she gets raped? And why stone a rape victim to death then?

    • @RPhTom
      @RPhTom Před rokem

      Very good points!

  • @dmxdmx0885
    @dmxdmx0885 Před 2 lety +1

    God bless you

  • @caimaccoinnich9594
    @caimaccoinnich9594 Před 3 lety +30

    Petition to push for polyandry being allowed in Islam!!! 🤣🤣

  • @Mughicoeurl
    @Mughicoeurl Před 3 lety +3

    It seems like it should be like the unmarried mujahideen taking their first wives before married mujahideen take their second and so on...