Analysis Paralysis Is Holding You Back

Sdílet
Vložit
  • čas přidán 10. 07. 2024
  • Learn more from Dr. K in his Guide to Mental Health: bit.ly/3THwlO1
    Not sure where to start? Take our guide module quiz: bit.ly/47dGzKj
    ▼ Timestamps ▼
    ────────────
    00:00 - Introduction
    01:42 - Neuro-Economics
    03:29 - The circuitry of loss aversion
    06:46 - Experimenting with neuro-economics
    11:32 - Temporal bias
    16:33 - Order of Operations
    19:23 - Intermixed Losses
    22:49 - “The third thing”
    26:12 - Brain calculations not based in reality
    31:39 - Conclusion
    ────────────
    Check Out Dr. K's Book Here: bit.ly/3IAEu0A
    Harvard-trained psychiatrist and former gaming addict Dr. Alok Kanojia-known as “Dr. K” to his millions of followers-offers a proven, tested plan to help parents define, set, and reinforce healthy boundaries around video games and help kids who have developed an addiction to gaming.
    Join this channel to get access to perks:
    / @healthygamergg
    DISCLAIMER
    Healthy Gamer is an online community and resource platform for gamers and their families. It does not provide medical services or professional counselling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care. Our coaches are peer supporters, not professionally trained experts, and they cannot provide medical service. If you or a loved one are experiencing an emergency, please call your nation's emergency telephone number.
    All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.

Komentáře • 986

  • @GiantRobotIdeon
    @GiantRobotIdeon Před 3 měsíci +4202

    I'm analyzing the video's title and thumbnail to decide if I'll watch it now, later, or not at all. Will keep you guys updated

  • @max06de
    @max06de Před 3 měsíci +1943

    I spent years being afraid of the "worst possible outcome". Turned it around into "no matter what happens, it can be solved". Feels so much better.

    • @h.t.8812
      @h.t.8812 Před 3 měsíci +12

      thank you for this!

    • @CM-wt3vn
      @CM-wt3vn Před 3 měsíci +10

      except homelessness

    • @Eternal_Sky_Tardis
      @Eternal_Sky_Tardis Před 3 měsíci +6

      @@CM-wt3vn
      And death

    • @Dolritto
      @Dolritto Před 3 měsíci +8

      But it's not true. At all.

    • @Hvinnie
      @Hvinnie Před 3 měsíci +24

      ​@@Dolrittocan't be true if you don't believe it's true tbf

  • @scottsmith8689
    @scottsmith8689 Před 3 měsíci +500

    Mark Twain said "Most of the things that troubled me in my life never actually happened."

    • @subliteral1380
      @subliteral1380 Před 3 měsíci +14

      Damn he had such a way with words. He has so many great quotes like this.

    • @Dave_of_Mordor
      @Dave_of_Mordor Před 2 měsíci +8

      Lucky him! Most things that troubled me actually happen. Why is that?

    • @doomertube7050
      @doomertube7050 Před 2 měsíci +11

      @@Dave_of_Mordorskill issue (:

    • @Dave_of_Mordor
      @Dave_of_Mordor Před 2 měsíci

      @@doomertube7050 what are these skills and how can I get them?

    • @gabriellebakker6489
      @gabriellebakker6489 Před 2 měsíci +4

      That sentence amuses and stings.

  • @jonathanr7603
    @jonathanr7603 Před 3 měsíci +837

    “There are more things, Lucilius, likely to frighten us than there are to crush us; we suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”

  • @nellothetiger8654
    @nellothetiger8654 Před 3 měsíci +748

    At some point, I stopped overthinking because I realized if a plan is gonna go bad, it's gonna go bad anyways no matter how much thought was put into it.

    • @rmt3589
      @rmt3589 Před 3 měsíci +14

      Your sona is so cute!

    • @nellothetiger8654
      @nellothetiger8654 Před 3 měsíci +12

      @@rmt3589 Aww Thankies!!! ˃ᴗ˂

    • @emmaa8615
      @emmaa8615 Před 3 měsíci +8

      Cool seeing another furry on here! Furries watch Dr K 👏👏 unite

    • @sadumae
      @sadumae Před 3 měsíci +15

      @@emmaa8615 aww i’m not a furry but damn you guys are adorable

    • @trollingisasport
      @trollingisasport Před 3 měsíci +16

      Yeah. Unless there is physical risk, it's often better just to jump into the pool.

  • @ryotowo
    @ryotowo Před 3 měsíci +761

    The timings is so good that im starting to fear dr.k

  • @Zarouge
    @Zarouge Před 3 měsíci +137

    Imagine using your "skill of overthinking" to come up with solutions in the future to the ONE thing that did actually go wrong, rather than overthinking at the beginning about the INFINITE things that could go wrong.
    That's how I'm trying to reframe it for myself... Trying to deploy my powerful, overthinking brain at the appropriate time in the system.

    • @FatboiReborn
      @FatboiReborn Před 3 měsíci +7

      That’s pretty nice

    • @kennedyj7023
      @kennedyj7023 Před 3 měsíci

      I don't understand

    • @the_infinity_channel
      @the_infinity_channel Před 3 měsíci +4

      Study engineering 😂😂 I am one and in job I am doing great but in my personal life is a mess..at least I feel like I have a meaning 😅😅

    • @Yash-wm1nj
      @Yash-wm1nj Před 2 měsíci +5

      Wtf. That is called procrastinating your overthinking to solve analysis paralysis

    • @Danuxsy
      @Danuxsy Před 22 dny

      Lol

  • @InvertedGoblin
    @InvertedGoblin Před 3 měsíci +589

    It puts a whole new meaning to "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush". They even got the multiplication aspect of loss aversion right.

    • @Travissaur
      @Travissaur Před 3 měsíci +12

      I’m 31 and I still don’t get what that saying means. 😅

    • @georgerosebush9754
      @georgerosebush9754 Před 3 měsíci +35

      @@Travissaur the thing you own right now, is worth more to you, than potentially having more in the future, even though objectively it's less. If you don't get that watch the vid again

    • @davidmachado132
      @davidmachado132 Před 3 měsíci +22

      ​@@TravissaurIt means that what is guaranteed is worth more than risking and losing it all for a bigger reward. We have a similar one here on Brazil, but it says "flying" instead of "in the bush"

    • @xeniagorton
      @xeniagorton Před 3 měsíci

      🤯

    • @daulosh
      @daulosh Před 3 měsíci +6

      This saying seems to be saying having a bird in your hand is worth more than letting it go to potentially catch 2.
      Unless there is a sure fire way to catch 2 birds, this saying is definitely true and not affected by loss aversion in anyway

  • @DRUNKonROOTbeer
    @DRUNKonROOTbeer Před 3 měsíci +329

    "That which you already own is worth more to you than the possibility of something else" is a statement that just explains so much that I need to go for a walk.

    • @lolliannbruce7783
      @lolliannbruce7783 Před 3 měsíci +10

      That’s what I felt too… soooo interesting and ANNOYING as well… 😳

    • @vl5008
      @vl5008 Před 3 měsíci +7

      good job externalizing lol.

    • @Pattern_Noticer
      @Pattern_Noticer Před měsícem +1

      Something something fight club.
      Things should never own you, most of us know this and would immediately agree but only some action safeguard against it.
      Ideas should never own you either, a lot of us who understand the above still fall victim to this one.

    • @user-bs5ol7du2y
      @user-bs5ol7du2y Před 19 dny +2

      ​@Pattern_Noticer bro did you forget about the rules we don' talk about the [REDACTED]

  • @originalusernameoftheyear6500
    @originalusernameoftheyear6500 Před 3 měsíci +203

    I think most people just get to a point in their lives where they realise that not choosing things out of worry of loss and failure is painfully stagnant, and so they end up choosing things despite crushing feelings of loss aversion because even that is better than knowing you are frozen in time and your life hasn't changed for years yet not doing anything about it.

    • @buddingscientist3044
      @buddingscientist3044 Před 3 měsíci +2

      niceusername bro 😂

    • @originalusernameoftheyear6500
      @originalusernameoftheyear6500 Před 3 měsíci

      @@buddingscientist3044 thanks bro, it's pretty original isn't it?

    • @dakoderii4221
      @dakoderii4221 Před 3 měsíci

      That feeling usually stems from the anti-social narcissists in society. They see someone doing well and they must tear them down in order to try and feel better about themselves. Easier to tear down than to plan and build. People who want to create, not destroy, are the targets of these relentless people. And for some reason everyone wants to automatically side with the person throwing a tantrum like a petulant little toddler.
      People focus on your actions and behavior that "made" them throw the tantrum. Those actions can include smiling, being happy, helping others, a blessing befalls you, etc. People demand you not do these things or else the narc is offended and upset. Don't talk about what they are complaining about. Everyone knows how ridiculous it is. Just shut up and go along to get along. Don't you see the most excellent results this has had on society in recent decades?

    • @subu_versus
      @subu_versus Před 3 měsíci +2

      Stagnation and "frozen in time" is my biggest fear haha, totally agree.

    • @HeIljumper
      @HeIljumper Před 3 měsíci +2

      100% true
      I lived in bliss for the first 30 years of my life, happy to take on the bare minimum amount of responsibility
      But on the inside it was like I was slowly dying because I wasn't living
      I wasn't putting myself out there
      It was the strangest thing and it was a long, gradual process that took years
      It was like the joy I found in my simple life was zapped from me, gradually
      To me it felt like God trying to save me from myself, trying to bring me to life
      I don't know how else to explain it

  • @tarkusd7534
    @tarkusd7534 Před 3 měsíci +329

    After dozens of failed Applications and Interviews this feels like a punch in the gut but it explains things

    • @______Secret______420
      @______Secret______420 Před 3 měsíci +23

      Keep grinding! You got this. Good luck. Speak positivity into existence

    • @Tanmay.s689
      @Tanmay.s689 Před 3 měsíci +5

      Exact same situation as you mate!

    • @joannwood2854
      @joannwood2854 Před 3 měsíci +6

      CareerVidz on YT helped me w interviews. Hope this helps

    • @kani-licious
      @kani-licious Před 3 měsíci +5

      That is normal in this day and age unless youre in the right situation

    • @SongokuJidai
      @SongokuJidai Před 3 měsíci +6

      A computer computes, a calculator calculates, an automobile mobiles.
      Once you know what something is you can figure out what it does. Once you know that, you can figure out how to make it do the thing you want it to.
      Good luck man. Just think, you're halfway there.

  • @mildchaos6037
    @mildchaos6037 Před 3 měsíci +298

    I suffered from paralysis of analysis for the first 28 years of my life. I’ve always done the safe route. Safe degree, safe job and safe hometown.
    I just made the decision to move across the country with 2 friends to start a new path and this is something I never thought I would have done. Idk why I agreed to it but I am glad I did.

    • @gnatdagnat
      @gnatdagnat Před 3 měsíci +22

      Fire bro

    • @Faulheit
      @Faulheit Před 3 měsíci +22

      i wish you the very best of luck

    • @Ghjjft68u
      @Ghjjft68u Před 3 měsíci +6

      Wish you all the best!

    • @Thought.Strings
      @Thought.Strings Před 3 měsíci +7

      Maybe your friends calmed your amygdala? Or you just grew and got wiser? Either way: Congrats!

    • @rkjeffery777
      @rkjeffery777 Před 3 měsíci +1

      Mine more stems into socializing like telling someone I want to go on a date with them or that I like them or having to approach people which I don't do unless it's a rare moment where there is not a lot of people around or if they are around I have to know that only the person I'm speaking to can hear me.

  • @allisondiller7676
    @allisondiller7676 Před 3 měsíci +122

    This reminds me of one of my strategies for getting out of a depressive state. First thing I do is check my Vitamin D, but after that, I work on turning outwards. I try to find ways I can lift someone else up, not just by being a hype queen, but by going and doing something physical for them. So I'll volunteer for a community cleanup, or I'll shovel snow for the neighbors, or something like that. It takes me out of my own head in a huge way.

    • @GSPV33
      @GSPV33 Před 3 měsíci +14

      What a fantastic strategy. I think it was CS Lewis who said that humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.

    • @martinboyd447
      @martinboyd447 Před 3 měsíci +2

      That sounds like an awesome privilege. Intention you acted on. That's hot!

    • @williamgarayua5878
      @williamgarayua5878 Před 3 měsíci +2

      "LOVE ONE ANOTHER"
      💞🌎🕊 🆚️ 🏴‍☠️🤺🏴‍☠️

  • @Sujisakamoto
    @Sujisakamoto Před 3 měsíci +70

    As someone with ADHD & who is very analytical I STRUGGLE with this. Thanks for making these videos they are so helpful ❤

    • @jameswilkerson4412
      @jameswilkerson4412 Před 3 měsíci

      I thought ADHD made someone impulsive, not over-analytical?

    • @lucindasousa7591
      @lucindasousa7591 Před 3 měsíci

      Both, first of all sorry if my English is not the best, its not my first and main language...
      For example, our brains don't lack focus, our brains have issues balancing our focus, we have a difficulty balancing the scale in several aspects really, we are over achievers but we also procrastinate a lot, we are perfectionists but we are also very prone to make mistakes and have accidents, we can be very sweet and considerate and thoughtful, but we also can be assholes out of no where and without reason sometimes lol so you see...I would dare to say that our brains main problem is to be able to make somethings in a more balanced way, that's why we have EXECUTIVE FUNCTION difficulties lol 😅​@@jameswilkerson4412

    • @Splicing_Darwinist
      @Splicing_Darwinist Před 3 měsíci +27

      ​@@jameswilkerson4412 both :D
      You overthink stuff and still act impulsive in the end.

    • @adelg4795
      @adelg4795 Před 3 měsíci +14

      Same, I'm an overthinker with ADHD :) Not the best combo

    • @Sujisakamoto
      @Sujisakamoto Před 3 měsíci +5

      @@jameswilkerson4412 So because a person has ADHD they’re not allowed to be logical? Impulsiveness doesn’t mean you lack logic… In my case though I grew up playing chess in a family full of cyber security nerds so I learned to be analytical extremely early. I think that may have influenced me a lot. That’s just me though.

  • @IAmPamPoovey
    @IAmPamPoovey Před 3 měsíci +181

    You'll never know if you don't find out. I spent YEARS saying I was going to start a business, but I never did...until I just did. I just went and did it. Stop overthinking things and just do it.

    • @Xpectra32
      @Xpectra32 Před 3 měsíci +12

      I know but i cant start it it!. The fear of failing the chances of being in a worse situation just freezes me cold

    • @felixwilsonmusic
      @felixwilsonmusic Před 3 měsíci +6

      Love this comment! The hand wringing that goes on...the should I, shouldn't I, will he won't he. And then one day you wake up, and no fuss you just do that thing as if it's no harder than anything else. Our egos are the biggest trolls 😅

    • @IAmPamPoovey
      @IAmPamPoovey Před 3 měsíci

      @@Xpectra32 Worse than what? Constantly being gripped with fear? Do you think you need to hit rock bottom to get the nerve to take a chance? Somewhere, there's bedrock. Somewhere, there's a point where you'd bottom out. If you ended up bottoming out, would you just keep settling for the absolute worst situation you could possibly be in, or would you finally be able to take a chance to make your life better? If you try something, and you fail, there's a really good chance things WON'T get worse. Chances are, the worst case scenario is you just end up right back where you are now. In which case, nothing will have changed--except the fact that you will have gained some knowledge. You will have learned what doesn't work, so next time, your chances of success would be even GREATER. The chances of success become greater every time you try, so just try. It might get worse initially. You might be right about that, but if you keep trying, it won't stay that way. The odds are in your favor. They really are. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE OVER FEAR. NO EXCEPTION. That includes self-love. Go out and do your thing. I promise you'll be better for it!

    • @zac9933
      @zac9933 Před 3 měsíci +7

      The biggest fear for me is just falling into even more debt. I feel so paralyzed just by the student debt I have that even the possibility of something that could compound that further is just horrifying to me.

    • @Whodjathink
      @Whodjathink Před 3 měsíci +1

      How's the business Jsmith?

  • @pabulumm
    @pabulumm Před 3 měsíci +83

    When Dr. K was talking about looking around and seeing classmates who were carefree because you assumed they "choose [their major] right"... Idk how to describe it but it's like a small part of me healed, because I had always assumed that and felt awful for not being able to get it figured out like they did, but of course I didn't, I was so stressed out and avoided it! I also notice I tend to always feel like time is running out but if I'm able to extent the timeline in my thinking, I notice I'm immediately more relaxed and can think more clearly. I feel like I'm explaining this badly but basically, this video is really helpful and I'm gonna watch it again and again. Thank you HGGG!!! You guys are the best.

    • @GSPV33
      @GSPV33 Před 3 měsíci +3

      Not explaining badly at all. Your perspective is actually very straightforward and relatable. Thanks for sharing.

    • @dariodiluciano9443
      @dariodiluciano9443 Před 3 měsíci +1

      Don't feel bad about it, I always thought that the other's being carefree was because they don't pay that much attention on things and I can assure you, that thought alone does nothing, you just end up with a "so THEYR key to live well is to be carefree, but I cannot do that, so what should i do?"
      At least that's my experience, and DT.k is super useful as ever

  • @admiralrohan
    @admiralrohan Před 3 měsíci +18

    "I can try this again" best narrative to curb perfectionism.

  • @kewoshk
    @kewoshk Před 3 měsíci +160

    Dr K drops these with immaculate timing 😄

  • @Federico-1
    @Federico-1 Před 3 měsíci +103

    Dr K, you should include worksheets for your uploads that have similar resources as the guide. A worksheet in the description would invite people to “give this video a try” and act on what they just watched.
    A worksheet might say “practice nadi shudhi for 5 minutes then journal about the video topic”. I think there’s room for someone other than Dr.K to make such a thing, even. So like maybe a coach, mod, or someone could write up worksheets for us. I can’t say exactly what they would contain obviously but i think they’d be a good addition.

    • @xeixi3789
      @xeixi3789 Před 3 měsíci +4

      Up

    • @rabiabelani1184
      @rabiabelani1184 Před 3 měsíci +7

      Yes please, I learned so many things and I'm looking for ways to keep the summary at a hand's reach to remind myself of this every single time I start overthinking and sabotaging my relationships

    • @BHBalast
      @BHBalast Před 3 měsíci +1

      Nice idea

  • @Zix6ix
    @Zix6ix Před 3 měsíci +19

    I sleep 8 hours, I eat healthy, I work out, I try to meditate and have the most chill environment but the moment I put myself through making a decision I freak out.
    Even the technic of “getting out of my head” feels like running away from my problems, in the end of the day I need to sit back and decide.

  • @Imbedersup
    @Imbedersup Před 3 měsíci +53

    The best thing I've ever been told (so far) is: "Why are you in a rush? You have the rest of your life to develop in [this thing]". It really changed my outlook on life and how I want to live.

    • @MolecularKangaroo
      @MolecularKangaroo Před 3 měsíci +2

      Google what ageing is

    • @KenjiAsakura09
      @KenjiAsakura09 Před 3 měsíci +6

      @@MolecularKangaroo If you aren't trying to live your one and only life to the fullest, are you truly alive?

    • @Imbedersup
      @Imbedersup Před 3 měsíci +3

      @MolecularKangaroo maybe I missed some vital points. With age comes experience, calm, hopefully even wisdom. These are key aspects to what I was stressing about, and made me much more harmonious. I'm aware of the impact ageing has on cognition and physical prowess, but lots of other good things can come with it too.

    • @Imbedersup
      @Imbedersup Před 3 měsíci +4

      @@nickwaters2802 nah, chill with the grindset. I'm still working towards my goals, I'm just not stressing out to the point of being suicidal about it. One size does not fit all.

  • @n2clarice
    @n2clarice Před 2 měsíci +10

    This video has made me feel so much better and I feel more equipped in dealing with high anxiety regarding certain events. The dread feels too real man. It’s the most daunting, crippling and suffocating feeling one can ever experience. So I’m glad of the simple message of “CHILL FIRST so you can make better decisions later”. Also to externalize the issue. That’s so good too. Holy crap. High anxiety can be so suffocating man.

    • @user-ho3oe2qi6t
      @user-ho3oe2qi6t Před měsícem

      same .. especially feeling stuck and constantly being stuck cos u have many options laid out in front of you. not a nice feeling

  • @evan12697
    @evan12697 Před 3 měsíci +44

    how is he always so real and on time with these istg ive been dying from this lately

  • @katiescape
    @katiescape Před 3 měsíci +12

    Funny story, I opened up youtube to 'get my mind in the right place' for my assignment, your youtube video popped up and I read the title and I was like, you know what.... and started on the assignment instead, now I am watching this 'after'. You help in more ways than one DR K ;) you called my shit out when I needed it hahahhaa.

  • @meltygear5955
    @meltygear5955 Před 3 měsíci +15

    I just realized that the reason I had analysis paralysis over what language and framework I'll invest my time in was because I'm a career switcher in his 40's and because of age I refused to see a time depth beyond a decade, and perceived the time I have for adjustments to be smaller. On top of that, I would sit to study like I'm being chased by wolves and that added stress to the equation, making me feel dumb for not learning fast enough.

  • @johnlyons3832
    @johnlyons3832 Před 3 měsíci +13

    Anyone else always amazed at how conveniently timed some of these topics are? I swear, when I’m at my low points, there’s a video touching on a big subject in my life. I love Dr. K, thank you for providing such a logical approach to things that seem so uncontrollable and foreign. You remind me that I’m in control of this ship, the more I learn about it the better I’m able to navigate it. Have a good day everyone ❤️

  • @aymaneeljahrani2280
    @aymaneeljahrani2280 Před měsícem +2

    On 2023, at so many diverse occasions, my brains used it’s ingéniosity to make any little problem bigger, have it steroid and this made me stressed and in a state where I can make it really bigger in life. When I choosed to calm my brain and be more mature at handling problems, I realized how much they are never that big.

  • @Victim2SuJu
    @Victim2SuJu Před 3 měsíci +19

    My "ah ha" moment was I was visiting my mom & grandma and decided to park on the street so they could back their cars out. My grandma says," why didn't you just park in the driveway?" A harmless question but I realized she does this ALL 👏 THE 👏 TIME👏 "Why don't you just/ why didn't you -" and even my mom does it sometimes too. So I have this lifelong monologue of "guh why didn't I xyx?" And it's only growing into the most mundane things like "should i take the stroller or the shopping cart?" And I'm bordering on just going home instead. It's insane! I need to firgive myself too for when I push through and DO make a decision and something DOES "go wrong" like I DO go shopping but I failed to get everything I needed because I didn't prepare myself with a list.

    • @nicolen3146
      @nicolen3146 Před měsícem +1

      I resonate so much with this. It’s interesting that the words of those that mean the most to us in childhood (even if those people are otherwise loving & well-intentioned people) can-and usually do-become our own inner voice/critic in adulthood.
      I think the only way to go about this is make the decision swiftly and move on and let any “mistakes” just roll off your back. It’s all a part of life. We’re human so we’re going to mess up. A lot. Oh well! We could “what if” and “why didn’t I just…” all day, but we’d never get anything done with that programming lol

  • @kosasable
    @kosasable Před 3 měsíci +6

    Spot on, I have noticed how much easier it is for me to accomplish my daily goals that I set for myself when I get good night sleep, exercise, eat healthy. Everything that I have learned and integrated from Dr. K over the past few months have been an absolute improvement on my life. I feel extremely grateful for such a quality content He and his team provides the world with.

  • @0Riyos0
    @0Riyos0 Před 2 měsíci +11

    Why does "Analysis paralysis" feels like a Radiohead song?

  • @joshuaolds4747
    @joshuaolds4747 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Thank you so much for this video. I’ve been significantly suffering from loss aversion and it’s taken me up to this point to figure out what’s stopping my brain from breaking out of the feedback loop.
    I am sure I am not the only one who feels the same profound sense of clarity after watching this video

  • @peterbulley9391
    @peterbulley9391 Před 3 měsíci +19

    I'd just like to mention once again (I've seen this commented multiple times atp) how many times Dr. K will post a video that aligns almost exactly with where my headspace is at, almost exactly when it is at that place. I haven't watched any of your content in over a week and yet, a few hours before this was posted, I came to the conclusion that my over-analysis was a major cause for a lot of my problems. The all of a sudden, a video on analysis paralysis... insane

    • @implodinghippo
      @implodinghippo Před 3 měsíci

      I was talking to a family member who was telling me that I can't be so stuck on the fear of things BC I'll end up stagnant. This was a couple hours ago

  • @lukasjuliano8837
    @lukasjuliano8837 Před 3 měsíci +8

    i recently ended a relationship and I was constantly paralyzed by that decision. I could never choose. I feel like my end goal for me and for her was to be healthier people and everytime something would go wrong, I would get really scared and my world would crash. My end goal, I think, was also a lifelong partner and deciding if she was that too. I kinda feel like these large goals and things I'm looking at in the future are stressing me out NOW though too.. I'm not sure I feel better after breaking up. I think it honestly feels worse and I do miss her a lot.. I just don't know if it could work or if it was good. We were hurting each other emotionally on accident a lot even though we both wanted to change and work at these things. We wanted to be a team but often turned enemy which would only amplify feelings of distrust, fear, etc. It all really sucks. She was probably the first person I dated that I really got to taste what it meant to really love another person flaws and all. To really experience someone else and share something special.
    Sheesh I'm going to stop and try to get some work done.

    • @heat.seeker
      @heat.seeker Před 2 měsíci +1

      I did the same bruh. She wanted to get married and I wasn't sure as she had some very abusive traits that reminded me of my mom... I couldn't.

  • @georgeindestructible
    @georgeindestructible Před 3 měsíci +13

    There is something D.K missed to mention here, one of the most important things, the scaling part of the issue, because yes there is scaling factors, your brain isn't always entirely risk averse nor entirely risk-tolerant so obviously, it's not always entirely wrong either.
    What i would first try to found out (and in the process basically debug my paralysis analysis level) is why do i think in the way i think about risk on a certain thing and how much of that concern is valid, this helps you understand yourself, your external and internal motivations as well as their value and help stabilize to a significant extend your ratio between risk averse and risk tolerance values, meanwhile it will also help build more critical thinking which will indirectly also aid you to keep yourself in check in that regard.
    It's like converting what you have as disadvantage back to an advantage.

  • @MotherCoconut.
    @MotherCoconut. Před 3 měsíci +5

    thanks dr. k! i've lately been stressing my head off about which route to choose in my life now that my college degree is done. i need to watch this 3-4 times more to really drill down your message in my agitated brain. especially the "be chill first and good things happen" thing that I simply cannot currently wrap my head around.

  • @cakescakescakes
    @cakescakescakes Před 3 měsíci +7

    the intermixed losses made it "click" for me. my mind is blown. its all i needed to hear

  • @TheNerdLord
    @TheNerdLord Před 3 měsíci +10

    My therapist and I couldn’t figure out what this was called so I named it “Hypochondria of the Future,” granted not using hypochondria correctly as it was based on rational possible issues in the future, she had me puzzle out that it was really irrational fear of the future. The future of tomorrow has unpredictable outcomes. Sure, some predictions that are based on pattern that can happen. A new war could start tomorrow but we don’t know that. That’s the part that bothers me, even kinda still. But knowing that I can make the proper steps to build my future is more reassuring than thinking about the future. Actions speak louder than thought. A thought disappears, an action is imprinted into history.

    • @krox477
      @krox477 Před 3 měsíci +1

      The future is formed by the present

  • @user-sc1qf6fh7u
    @user-sc1qf6fh7u Před 3 měsíci +5

    genuinely took notes on this video and was able to talk to the girl I had been paralyzed to talk to for weeks using the strategies and logic it presented

  • @AlexandraZack-pc9le
    @AlexandraZack-pc9le Před 3 měsíci

    This video could not have possibly come at a better time! This is something I have dealt with my entire life as a result of really bad ADHD/executive dysfunction, and it's heald me back so much. Sometimes you really need to just jump in head first.

  • @PeanutButterCoffeeBread

    You are now my favorite therapist, Dr. Alok.. I think you know how important what you're doing is. But i'd still say that I am very grateful for stumbling upon your content. Thank you so much, this is from my heart.

  • @djlarrylar7905
    @djlarrylar7905 Před 3 měsíci +12

    I've noticed it can sometimes lock people moving forward in their life because they're overanalyzing every situation making it worse on themselves. I noticed what it was when I was married in my twenties. having been able to avoid it in most scenarios later in life.

  • @EVERYTYME
    @EVERYTYME Před 3 měsíci +4

    A concept ive never heard of, didnt even know exsisted. Explains me so well. Thank you for making me aware to this!
    I love your channel man thank you so much for your wisdom!

  • @henlokitty2591
    @henlokitty2591 Před 3 měsíci

    Thank you for the perfect timing of this video! I literally was having analysis paralysis about selling everything I own and moving. It makes sense why I feel some kind of way about “losing” everything I’ve built up to this point. But obviously I know if I let go of everything, I will have better opportunities elsewhere. This makes me feel a lot better! Thanks Dr. K and everyone in the community for explaining! ❤

  • @TheSedition666
    @TheSedition666 Před 2 měsíci +1

    This is a really interesting video. It also explains why people flipping the decision making from fear of a mistake to a fear of a missed opportunity works in the brain. The loss aversion circuit is still activated but hacked to help push the outcome/action you want. Very clever.

  • @fastandfidler
    @fastandfidler Před 3 měsíci +15

    This is so eye opening! Thank you Dr. K

  • @bobby2bend
    @bobby2bend Před 3 měsíci +14

    Another perfectly timed video, thank you Dr. K

  • @nguyenanhthu7944
    @nguyenanhthu7944 Před 3 měsíci

    I'm going through a bad breakup with the person I loved so much and struggling with finding motivation to continue my life. Your video has helped me understand myself so much better and actually gave interesting knowledges to learn. I admire your journey and your intellect so much, Dr.K. Thank you for the content you have been creating and spreading on internet. Hope you know how much it means to us.
    Best wishes from Vietnam

  • @HazelwithaZ
    @HazelwithaZ Před 3 měsíci +2

    I've needed this information for almost five years. I'm taking notes. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 😌

  • @lenott7480
    @lenott7480 Před 3 měsíci +11

    I haven't finished the video yet, but I did recently come to an insight that just doing ANYTHING is better than not doing at all.
    Like, it's better to just go for any rush of energy and momentarily inspiration (even for chores, or things I haven't done before), than brush them aside because I don't feel like it or I'm afraid. Thanks to that I was slowly able to better my life from being a passive vegetable.
    It's just that I've come to know myself and the way I distract myself by countless thinking without choosing and doing anything, that in the end I end up just scrolling something. So, idk what happened, but I started to slowly overcome that.
    The point is really in stopping yourself from thinking too much. You had a first thought to do something? Stop listening to anything else your mind says, like "it'll take too much time, you don't have much time, you're not equipped nor are you skilled enough", and just do it. ESPECIALLY avoid something like "that's not priority. I should be reading a book/ doing a chore/ something not urgent but important". Because you know yourself, you won't do the priority either, so you may as well go for something less prioritized, but still different than scrolling or loafing around.
    I know it's an obvious thing, but I wasn't able to make myself understand this for so many years. Maybe someone will get it, too.

  • @elisenieuwe4649
    @elisenieuwe4649 Před 3 měsíci +4

    This was surprisingly useful. Especially the end point talk and the externalizing my focus. Good concreet practical information.

  • @alexlozhar6724
    @alexlozhar6724 Před 3 měsíci +2

    This video came out exactly when I found myself stuck between two decisions, something that often happens to me, and now I have a name for this feeling, thank you so much for the tips I'll try to implement what you said and see if it will get better. Hope everything will turn out with the best outcome.

  • @renderinghues
    @renderinghues Před 2 měsíci +1

    It is truly like I was on autopilot and didn't know myself until I found this channel almost accidentally.
    I was searching for terms that could help me sleep at a different time than I am used to falling asleep, to be awake for a long road trip.
    From one video to another, YT finally brought me to this channel, and it was stuff I never thought to search for, because I was not self aware, nor did I ever think this type of knowledge existed, much less be accesible like this.
    I have learned so much about the way I behave from this channel. This subject here hits hard. (But other videos too.)
    I am truly grateful for this channel and the knowledge shared. Truly making a difference.

  • @lukaschumchal7797
    @lukaschumchal7797 Před 3 měsíci +8

    Already done with analysis paralysis. It have been covering my fear of an empty life - without a life goal, work direction and friends... :/

  • @Mikopotato95
    @Mikopotato95 Před 3 měsíci +13

    I find that empty chair work with clients quickly exposes thia line of thinking. I'll place 2 empty chairs in front of the client and ask them to imagine the part of them that wants to make decision A in one chair and the part that wants to make decision B in the other chair. I'll ask the client to declare the stance of each part and then facilitate a decision between the parts. Usually there is one part that is fearful of pain, disappointment, loss, failure, etc.

  • @prosnip3r794
    @prosnip3r794 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Thank You Dr.K this is a key iv been searching almost all my life for, its been thousands of hours of nonstop videos to find this one i dont have much to say but i just hope i use it to set myself free from these chains that bind my mind ty again love and respect.

  • @Hello-re1ex
    @Hello-re1ex Před 3 měsíci

    Thank you doctor K, i've been watching your videos for over 2 years now and my life has changed so much for the better. Could not have done it without you. Keep doing what you are doing! love!

  • @IsaiahSenku
    @IsaiahSenku Před 3 měsíci +4

    Somehow Dr. K drops the perfect video for me just when i need it

  • @panqueque445
    @panqueque445 Před 3 měsíci +14

    Me, looking at my brain: "Dude wtf"

  • @tictactictac2840
    @tictactictac2840 Před 3 měsíci +2

    Perfect timing!! 🙏 🙏🙏I was paralyzed about an important decision and this information helped me a lot! Thank you Dr. K!! ✨️

  • @chelsearchi
    @chelsearchi Před 3 měsíci

    The extending timeline thing I genius!! I didn't realize I actually had so much time. Thanks a lot for this video, super helpful!

  • @sonofabippi
    @sonofabippi Před 3 měsíci +3

    I hit this after not being able to figure out what to watch. Felt it appropriate.

  • @rmt3589
    @rmt3589 Před 3 měsíci +17

    Reminds me a lot of Christian Doctrine: Worry not and be of good cheer(don't focus on negative), Keep eyes on Jesus and those in need(outside), and have an external perspective(end is so far away that any timeline you can concieve doesn't even scratch the surface).
    If I can spread those beliefs and practices to all parts of life, things would be amazing!
    I struggle, and have eternity to work that out, which helps me not beat myself up for that particular thing. But, other things feel urgent and I tend to beat myself up over them.

    • @jameswilkerson4412
      @jameswilkerson4412 Před 3 měsíci +2

      “Consider the lilies”

    • @cenavisch8888
      @cenavisch8888 Před 3 měsíci +3

      Wow, I love this!!!

    • @imspiker3645
      @imspiker3645 Před 3 měsíci +3

      Amen, it honestly feels like a hack once you understand how to add your biblical principles with the knowledge of what's actually happening in our brains that keep us stuck. It helps so much once you have accurate stuff you want to pray for. In James there is a verse that says we don't receive because we're not asking correctly, like we may ask God to make our lives better when sometimes He wants to help us go through a process of change for our spiritual growth.

    • @the_expidition427
      @the_expidition427 Před 3 měsíci +1

      Saving this

  • @ericmarch9857
    @ericmarch9857 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Having my exact dilemma being explained to me allowed me to finally relax. Thank you Dr. k.

  • @techsir8866
    @techsir8866 Před 19 dny

    Been there and done all that worrying, for what, nothing that made my life better. Used to do this constantly, there is hope and a completely different way of living your life. Best advise to give(as there is a lot to list), make yourself do things you don't want to do, it helps build character and makes you stronger on the inside. As an example: you don't want to clean up your house, force yourself to even just do a little and then a little more, then more, eventually cleaning the house is not even something you need to worry about, it just gets done.
    Best thing I did for myself to get rid of constant stress/anxiety is to force the question "what if" out of my head, give place for something else, or look at both good and bad sides of a situation and realized that if you have time to analyze it, you already have the power to do something about it that is good.

  • @HIRAMECLARKEHOPS
    @HIRAMECLARKEHOPS Před 3 měsíci +6

    NICE! I'm currently working through my Analysis Paralysis! Universe stays on point.
    Edit. Ketamine helped a lot, and its starting to make more sense why.

  • @JohnSmith-rr8hp
    @JohnSmith-rr8hp Před 3 měsíci +4

    40Y struggling with life with a narc wife, this video has summed up my life over the last 10 years, so..... hopefully I can break this loop... But first i need my dose of gaming....

  • @tubadude-2269
    @tubadude-2269 Před 3 měsíci

    its fantastic that this field seems to have organized what ive always seemed to feel. Ive been at the whole healing myself therapy thing for about 6 years now and can recognize that ive been doing and affecting my brain the way Dr. K explains it in the vid. Im still not balanced but im also no longer terrorizing myself over nothings lol.

  • @RealRetroWave
    @RealRetroWave Před 3 měsíci +2

    Do things that make you uncomfortable, do them again and again and again. This is the medicine.

  • @sacrilegiousboi978
    @sacrilegiousboi978 Před 3 měsíci +6

    With ADHD this is common because of executive function caused by a weak VTA/dopaminergic reward system, weak prefrontal cortex and an overactive limbic system. All these problems compound each other. Stimulants boost dopamine and blood flow to the prefrontal cortex which then inhibits the limbic system and activates the reward system.

  • @ancient122
    @ancient122 Před 2 měsíci +1

    This is one of your favorite videos so far and a major wake-up call for me personally. Actually feels like I'm unwrapping the enigma that used to be my brain. Thank you.

  • @hassassinator8858
    @hassassinator8858 Před 3 měsíci +2

    God... this is one of the most real videos you've made. So much of my life is reflected here, as well as many of my own realizations. Powerful stuff.

  • @BorisBidjanSaberi11
    @BorisBidjanSaberi11 Před 3 měsíci +22

    Couldnt have clicked this faster

    • @username6a
      @username6a Před 3 měsíci +1

      That means you're cured!

  • @Denmaverick39
    @Denmaverick39 Před 3 měsíci +3

    You know about the sleep paralysis demon but have you seen the analysis paralysis demon?

  • @Zvntvnv
    @Zvntvnv Před 3 měsíci +2

    OMG this is happening to me so much lately in every aspect of my life, thank u for this video.

  • @Pacio0
    @Pacio0 Před 3 měsíci

    Im still amazed how great those videos are i mean not just simply throwing solutions but also explaining the technical aspects behind appearing problems. Also the fact that some of these videos complement each other so well is so amazing for instance the moment there was a mention about how we tend to appreciate things that we actually own more than other and there was given an example of a favorite mug, I instantly rememberered the mentality materiality concept from the video anout depression that can just ease this cognitive bias towards the mug and help us take the decision. The last thing i want to tell about is also the most confusing one for me and it's actually about the way of overcoming your analysis paralysis through providing your brain more information about the decision we have to make. What confuses me is a belief that the more information your brain acquire the harder it is to make a decision like if theres plenty of majors too choose from how is it supposed to help me choose the right one or same example when we are bout to buy some stuff electronics or sth. Maybe the case about this provided information is about more kind of technicalities and criteria of making a decision and not just given possibilities

  • @BlackjackMain
    @BlackjackMain Před 3 měsíci +6

    Hadn't head of analysis paralysis or loss aversion, nice to have a term to associate with the feeling

  • @eqapo
    @eqapo Před 3 měsíci +12

    I hate when I get grilled braincheese

    • @kewoshk
      @kewoshk Před 3 měsíci +1

      This made me laugh out loud like an idiot, thank you 😂😂😂

    • @m2_95
      @m2_95 Před 3 měsíci

      did you do 20 years in the can by any chance?

  • @dylaann
    @dylaann Před 3 měsíci

    I've recently been thinking a lot about this on my own, and its been super helpful to living a more content life. Your subconscious knows what it wants, and it presents itself in that first thought you have "I want XYZ". Then your conscious brain comes in and tries to rationalize it, which leads to a feeling of paralysis because you're not honoring what half of your brain is saying it needs or wants if you're doing that most of the time. You think with your logical, conscious brain, and honoring that part of you is important, but the subconscious part of you is equally as important to take care of in the same ways.

  • @chelseal654
    @chelseal654 Před 3 měsíci +1

    I did this instinctively in college. Struggling with my homework? I’d take a little notebook on a walk around campus, and once I’d feel less stressed out, ideas about the next steps would come to me. I wrote them down and went back to my homework and felt a lot better

  • @Jazzmaster1992
    @Jazzmaster1992 Před 3 měsíci +6

    I can't decide if I should watch this video or not.
    But in all seriousness, as others have said, this video couldn't have come at a better time. I believe Dr. K have a gift for being able to read the times we're in, and deliver lectures which really speak to how so many of us are feeling. That ability alone, is truly brilliant.

  • @chrisl6630
    @chrisl6630 Před 3 měsíci +5

    I'm currently experiencing this paralysis right now. I'm trying to jump into my own business- i have the knowledge and experience, but I'm sitting here "what if...?"-ing myself to death and unable to act... i need to figure this out.

    • @partoftheworlD
      @partoftheworlD Před 3 měsíci +8

      Was something like that and I changed "what if" to "what if ... let's find out" it's such a relief in each choice. What if this girl doesn't like me, let's find out. And she ended up becoming my wife lol

    • @chrisl6630
      @chrisl6630 Před 3 měsíci +2

      ​@@partoftheworlDlol awesome!

  • @spoilthasoil
    @spoilthasoil Před 3 měsíci

    Hey Dr. K! Thank you so much for making this video. You are brilliant! I feel like this video was specially tailored for me. I have been torturing myself with over analysis and sometimes it feels like I'm trapped in my head for fear of having to figure things out and can't get out. Thank you for answering so many of my questions and making this content available with very practical techniques!

  • @joacomaskaric2598
    @joacomaskaric2598 Před 3 měsíci +2

    This videos are sooo well made, sooo well explained. Thanks a lot Alok. They actually, legitimately do help. Cheers from Bs As!

  • @drakekessler9107
    @drakekessler9107 Před 3 měsíci +4

    "First things first": hierarchical and value based priorities need to take precedence over dopaminergic hedonistic whims.
    "One in the hand is worth two in the bush": We value what we have here and now today more than what we potentially could have.

  • @Nightswim_
    @Nightswim_ Před 3 měsíci +3

    Are there any other content creators like him that focus on women? I have many of the issues here, but don’t fit in to the community as I’m older and female and was late diagnosed ADD and am absolutely lost and depressed.

  • @jessikacutts3986
    @jessikacutts3986 Před 3 měsíci

    I feel alright for the first time in months after listening to this. I recently lost my job and decided to use it as an opportunity to go back into art. I’ve been terrified and paralyzed and disappointed in myself for every day that I don’t put in the work I need to do to pursue my DREAMS.
    In 35 minutes, you were able to explain how my own fears develop and multiply in a way that I recognized and understood. I felt the moment I forgave myself. There’s so much more I want to say but I’ll just stick with thank you. Thank you.

  • @Qunia
    @Qunia Před 3 měsíci +1

    I really needed to hear this.
    Especially in my current situation.
    I kinda wish I was a different person, and i get stuck on the “why is it there”, and “what if it is the wrong decision”.

  • @paradoxicallyexcellent5138
    @paradoxicallyexcellent5138 Před 3 měsíci +5

    I don't know, this all sounds a little weird.

  • @ramenface_________________
    @ramenface_________________ Před 3 měsíci +9

    In art, loss aversion causes problems because years later, we can definitely see the mistakes by holding onto crap we dgaf about.
    You kinda gotta just go for the stuff that's without a problem regardless of how much or how little effort is spent.

    • @ButtMash1
      @ButtMash1 Před 3 měsíci

      I don't understand the wording...

  • @ciaraskeleton
    @ciaraskeleton Před 2 měsíci +1

    I think why i like Dr K so much is because he doesnt ever assume that we are too stupid or ignorant to understand something. He speaks to us about what it is, how it works, and he does into detail and positively assumes that we will understand.
    I have struggled with therapy in the past due to my special interest being in psychology (im autistic), i studied (sort of still do) for years. My issue is When i go to a therapist, they speak to me as if its my first time on earth. They assume that i know nothing, and they dont believe me when i say 'no im very familiar i understand' so they spend the first 6 weeks educating me on things i already know, instead of helping me put those things into motion, or to feel those things on a deeper level, or to actually identify the parts of me that need healing. Its a very frustrating experience. I cant open up when they are explaining cbt to me despite me having used cbt techniques for the last 8 years.
    My best experiences have been with Doctors or psychiatrists, because they tend to be quite excited that someone has actually shown interest and are present ready to hear and take on advice. Its really difficult for me to find an irl therapist likr Dr. K, who wont assume that im incapable of understanding, and wont treat me like im rude when i ask questions in detail. When i seek detail, im not being rude, im being open and honest and if you, like Dr K respond well to that as a therapist, im an open book. If not, i just cannot ever feel comfortable enough to want to open up and get to the more serious, ugly parts.
    My issue is i want closeness with others but im so scared of loss that i dont even try. Im scared to lose my alone time, my isolation, that I've built up over the years. Im scared to lose my peace if i let others in. In reality thr 'peace' i have exists within a vacuum, and it will be better, stronger, more fruitful peace when i let others in. ❤

  • @Heeroyui752
    @Heeroyui752 Před 3 měsíci +1

    This one was a breath of fresh air. Thank you Dr. K.

  • @yan_dj
    @yan_dj Před 3 měsíci +4

    Having ADHD and a high self esteem means I don't have this loss aversion at all, but it STILL doesn't matter 😂
    "I gotta finish editing that video. I know it'll take like 20 minutes considering where I left it, and I know I'm amazing at this and there's a 0% chance I'll screw it up... Nope, my body still won't move, I'll do it some day probably 💀"

    • @SupaMarioGaming
      @SupaMarioGaming Před 3 měsíci

      fuck. same. I dont wanna be on adderall again :/

  • @st.valentineArt
    @st.valentineArt Před 3 měsíci +4

    crying in virgo rising...

  • @MrFeli100
    @MrFeli100 Před 3 měsíci +1

    The timing is very good, my girlfriend is currently stuck not knowing if she is happy in the relationship. We have been separated spacialy for two weeks for her to collect her thoughts. Two days ago she said she wanted to try it and work on things but I am unsure of her feelings. I sent her this video today so she can watch it on her own. I think you describe her situation perfectly, I hope it will help her to make a good decision

  • @cosobellissimocoso5587
    @cosobellissimocoso5587 Před 3 měsíci +4

    dr gay

  • @DoubleR_904
    @DoubleR_904 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Dr. K is such a genius!!! Thank you for this channel and community… Much gratitude and admiration for your work… You have helped me, and many others develop new perspectives on life and change for the better… Much love ❤❤❤

  • @marinanathanson4940
    @marinanathanson4940 Před 3 měsíci

    Thanks for mentioning this process here, and applying it to psychology. Also there is sunk cost fallacy wich is basically the same, the longer we work on something the harder it is to switch to something new, even if the previous project didn't work well. Thank you🙏🏼

  • @surewhatever8843
    @surewhatever8843 Před 2 měsíci +1

    A favorite phrase of my family was “what’s the worst that can happen?” It was intended to encourage, but would send me into doom cycle. I’ve learned that some of my plans go horribly wrong, but not all, and everything is figureoutable. It all always works out in the end, and the scoreboard doesn’t mean anything until we quit or the clock runs out.

  • @Tlogos47
    @Tlogos47 Před 3 měsíci

    Great video coming at great time. I've started using changing order of tought and it definatly have an influence. I've also started to slow thing down when I'm overwhelm, by taking a step back and looking at it from afar, which help me be more calm. Lastly taking better care of myself to reduce stress induce by habit such as drinking coffee, is a great reminder. Thanks for those insight it help me open my perspective.

  • @nootall
    @nootall Před 2 měsíci

    Extending the endpoint is a point.
    While "being present" is great, the opposite can be a hell of a superpower.
    Being present gets you caught up in the small details, losses, and short-term effects.
    But by zooming out and blurring your vision, the moment-to-moment stressors lose their impact.
    Without a big picture, each step will invariably feel like the world.