How to Accept a Compliment
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- čas přidán 12. 09. 2024
- You know whats really great, being kinder to yourself :)
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It's like that scene from Mean Girls when Regina George tells Cady she's really pretty and when she says thank you she says "so you agree? You think you're really pretty?" It's that girl culture where taking a compliment is always deemed as arrogant 😕 it's just inbred in from primary school ☹️
Absolutely!
Best random compliment, "Girl, you literally feel like sunshine!" (From a checker at the grocery store). Still my favorite!
Thank you for this video and that reminder of our worths as women!
I love wearing bright and colourful vintage dresses (they make me so happy!) and I do get compliments. I used to be really self conscious thinking that if they noticed the dress, they definitely noticed the lumpy bumpy body in it. But I realised that if the dress gave me joy, it might make someone else smile too. So I own the compliments now, and if someone tells me they think I look great, I answer with, " yeah, this dress is fun isn't it! I always feel good in it ".
“Thanks! I got it from the charity shop for £2” is the best lol
My go to response
Me all the damn time
Definitely!
I thought a tween girls art camp and I ended up making them practice accepting compliments with “I KNOW right?!” Almost as a half joke cause none of those poor girls could accept positive comments about their art. This was years ago and I ran into one who is now 18 or something and she told me how much it impacted her ability to start accepting compliments and valuing herself and her work.
Best compliment I've ever had was from a 'random' elderly woman in the supermarket, she stopped me to say "you look beautiful" looks me in the eye and continues "no! you look truly beautiful, so well styled" I never had a chance for self-deprecating and I don't she was going to let me - pretty sure she was the truly beautiful one ;-)
I always say "thank you, that's really kind of you/that's made my day". Taken me years to get to that point... however if someone compliments me on a dress, I'm 100% likely to reply with "thanks, it's got pockets" and then show them pockets
Pockets are the best though!
why not all dresses come with pockets? I love pockets in dresses, skirts and the ones with a decent size of my AE jeans :D
An older lady working in a charity shop kept complimenting my eyes and she then convinced me to buy a pink leather trench coat (not usually my style) because she thought it looked beautiful on me. I did feel a bit awkward at the time accepting her compliments but now every time I wear the coat I feel extra special in it and turns out, it fits into my wardrobe perfectly.
The best compliment I ever received was from my friend Max, who's English (I'm American). We met working together at a performing arts camp. While listening to music at a bar, he said to me, "Shelby, I love the way you react to the different music that plays. I can tell you feel each song differently and it's so cool." From one musician to another, it was such a rare and sweet compliment. I will never forget it!
Oh, that's really nice.
I learnt this a couple of years ago by talking to friends. It made the world of difference to how I see others and how I treat myself. Accepting compliments is so good! I also tend to just answer thank you, and (if I can think of something) reply with a compliment!
I was once told that a compliment is like giving a gift and it would be rude not to accept it, so just take it and love it!!
This is so important! It’s also so important to GIVE COMPLIMENTS!! Give ALL THE COMPLIMENTS! It makes you feel good, it makes the other person feel good, it’s a win-win. I work as a barista and I genuinely compliment like 5-10 people a day if I can.
I had a girl in my class tell me that I had "the best eyebrows". And I replied with "Thanks, I'm just really hairy". Like wtf sure they're my actual eyebrows that I grew on my face but like why was my reaction to tell her that I'm Cousin It?
😂😂 I've actually muttered "its cause I'm a werewolf" before. Why? Why do we do that??
This is great advice. I found it really helpful to practice saying thank you and make a real effort to do that. It got easier and less cringey over time.
The complements I really love are when someone has noticed an action I have taken like putting in hard work with something, rather than on my appearance. The effort counts, sometimes regardless of the outcome!
30 something weeks pregnant another woman at food store walking past me said your doing good girl it was a highlight of my pregnancy
Needed this. Im horrible at accepting compliments.
Saying “thanks, I really wanted to make an effort today!” Is a good one, because it acknowledges the compliment. There’s nothing wrong with admitting youve made more of an effort that day than maybe on other days. It’s okay not to give yourself 100% on every day but it’s always nice when someone’s noticed that you have made more of an effort. ☺️
I'm not really a commenter (silent appreciator since the purple hair Melon Lady days) but after that video I am compelled to share how great I think your message is. I love how you are talking about things most of us struggle with, or have struggled with, in such relaxed and 'real' formats. This new style / vibe is really accessible, and watching feels like 'friends having lunch.' We're a similair age, so it's funny watching you in self exploration mode, as when I hit 30 (now 31) It was like a switch was flicked, and the relationship I had with myself changed. I'm really enjoying your current content, and although you have no idea who I am, somehow it's like we're taking the journey of the 30's together 😅. You sharing the 'learning' of yourself better, accepting yourself and sharing your struggles is definitley teaching, inspiring and comforting others along the way. Keep doing you. x
I always respond with thank you after a compliment even when I don’t agree! I feel rude otherwise! Someone in Costa said they loved my hair the other day, it looked a mess, was still in a messy bun from the night before but I was still like “oh thanks that’s really sweet!” And it made my day!
LOVE this! A man once stopped me in Tesco when I was with my mum to tell me I looked stunning in the dress I was wearing. It absolutely made my day, week, month! We still talk about that now and for that man it was one small sentence which he probably doesn't even remember, but meant so much. I'm still filled with smiles thinking about it!
I also always love to shout, THANKS! IT'S GOT POCKETS!!
When I was 12-13 or so all my friends were saying they hate how their feet look. It got to me and I said I thought mine were fine. They all attacked me for being full of myself. So funny to think about it now, but also sad to think that is the norm for women and it starts when we are young girls. Somewhere in my early 20s I was told that it is classier to accept compliments and just say thank you. I made it my mission to do this and realized that it also helped my self-worth. Been going strong on accepting compliments for the last 15 years or so. Great advice for young and older alike! Love this :)
I am definitely still working on this but something I try to say is, "that's really kind, thank you" so I'm also complimenting the person back on their kindness!
Lovely video, Helen! 😊
You won't believe how much I need this video!!! Literally the other day I served a young teen at work and she was lovely. Out of nowhere she said 'BTW, you're really pretty'... And I thanked her and because I wasn't expecting it I did tknow what to say... I wanted to compliment them back but she walked off before I had a chance 🙈 Anyone else feel compelled to compliment back when they compliment you? She was pretty and seemed lovely, but I just froze and didn't know how to take it. This video is needed! 🤘
Another memorable moment was when I had green hair. I served an older lady and she was telling me she loved my hair and that it looked really cool. She said she wished she'd done it when she was "young enough" to be cool.
My response was to tell her it's never too late and that she would totally rock it!
So I hateeeee being the center of attention and compliments usually make me feel that way. HOWEVER, it still makes me feel good inside! When someone gives me a compliment I try really hard to show I do actually care that they took the time, so I usually just go with “oh my gosh, thank you so much! You’re so sweet!” And if I genuinely have a compliment for them, then I’ll take the time to say it. “Thank you so much! I love your dress btw!” I always feel a little awkward about them, but once I walk away I always feel flattered and I feel better knowing I acknowledged what they had to say
I love the message behind this, receiving compliments well is such a skill that most of us weren't taught. And giving compliments can make someone's day! I've stopped people to say I like their outfit etc. I do think it's important to say though that you don't have to give one back, don't force a compliment back if its insincere, like you say, just thank you is enough. (also you don't have to indulge anyone that makes you feel unsafe - stay polite and leave!) x
I once had a co worker tell me that I looked nice in a dress. My response was " Thanks, it's not really my style had to force myself to wear it today. I've had it in the wardrobe for YEARS. To be completely honest I feel a bit self conscious in it." I noticed half way through that all I had to do was accept the compliment. I could not stop myself.
i often just return the compliment and say something like ”same to you, darling!”, because i haven’t only accepted the compliment, but returned the favour & hopefully made someones day a bit better just as they did mine.
Love this! I’m so bad at taking any kind of compliment. But someone said to me recently that when someone compliments you it’s like they’re giving you a gift- and you shrugging it off or disagreeing is kind of like throwing the gift back in their face.
It feels so alien to us to say oh thank you because it’s drilled into us that that is big headed but it’s such bullshit. We need to stop passively putting ourselves down. I’m trying really hard but still struggle with it. Just gotta force yourself even if you don’t quite believe it. 😉
Thanks for doing this video it’s so important xxx
I needed this! Thank you! I NEED to learn to accept them. I’ve doubted my looks for years and I’m starting to except and love them as I realised I’m not getting younger! I work in a mall in Norwich and I see loads of a people a day and I always try and give at least one person a compliment. However small or big! I hope it makes there day ☺️
I honestly love when people compliment on like a perfume or like saying "you smell so nice" I guess I find it attractive in others so when someone says it to me it's such a boost
Great to talk about this subject Helen, because yes, you're right, I think most of us deflect compliments!
The best compliment I ever had was when my children were small..we were on the bus..we were just quietly chatting, I was answering their question of things like "why are sheeps fluffy?" "Why has that wizardy man got a hook? (Older man with a Walking stick) etc..
We got off the bus and one of the other passengers said.."Excuse me, but I just wanted to say that it was a real joy to hear you speak so nicely with your children, very rare these days" I've never forgotten that lovely compliment! 💕
By the way, I love the way you share the things that you love in your home, it's very generous of you...you have me totally hooked on Lavender Yankees! 😆
When I first started to accept compliments I would just say thank you because I knew if I said more it would be self deprecating. After awhile I started to really believe the compliments and that helped with my inner saboteur.
Ever since I got my hair cut into a shag, I've gotten compliments on my hair almost every time I go out! It blew my mind and I dodged them at first, but now I love it haha
Learning how to accept compliments was one of the best and most important thing I ever learned. Great idea for a video, Helen!
This is so true why do we get embarrassed and run ourselves down I’m like you always complement women if they look good or got nice dress but don’t except them! right from today I’m going to work on it note to self..... “jenny except compliment don’t negate them!” Thanks Helen 🥰🙏
A few years ago I was standing outside after an appointment and a little boy walked past with his mum and grandma. He ran back to me and told me he thought I was really pretty
It was so sweet
Most recent was "love your hair" if I have my daughter with me they just say how cute she is and I'm like "I made her" 😂
Please remember loving yourself and having confidence in yourself is not a sin. It’s not arrogance . We all deserve to feel love ESPECIALLY within ourselves. Because truly? That’s the only love that will ever truly matter
Accept the compliment, no reasoning of why. Just accept it! It’s nice a feeling to give someone a compliment so don’t shut it down or say any excuse for receiving it cause that is shutting the other person down
My favourite thing to do when complimented about jewellery or clothing or makeup is to say ‘thank you! It’s from -‘ because I want to share it so they can get it too if they really like it!
I was wearing this big round black hat on the train one day. No make up, basic black clothing. I felt cute. But was kinda unsure. Hats are not really a thing around here I think. And this random lady came up and told me, that I would look like an angel. I was flattered but so confused as well.
Thank you very much for this video. :)
Love this 💪👏🙌✨
Edit: I think people sometimes think that by saying 'thank you' to a complement that they're immediately agreeing with the compliment, which isn't true. You are simply saying thank you to the person for saying something nice about you. And if you think of it from the other perspective, when you give a compliment that can also feel vulnerable and when someone disagrees it can feel like a rejection of you sharing your feelings with that person.
We compliment each other at work pretty much every day, my answer is generally “oh my god, yes, flirt with me more” 😂
I had a compliment on the tube once , of my mermaid tattoo on my leg. A girl got up from her seat and made the effort to come over to me and complimented the shit out of it and was so in love, i was like thankyou so much i love her too!
“You’re like, really pretty” “thanks!” “So you agree, you think you’re really pretty?” “...uhhh wait..?” “Omg I love your bracelet where did you get it?” Anyone know the reference?
When I was a teen I got bullied a lot for being pale and ginger so I got my hair dyed professionally one time, it was a light brown with blonde highlights. The girl behind me in my English class told me my hair was nice!!!! I thanked her and then she said, "You wish". All her friends laughed with her. It was humiliating. I still find it really hard to accept compliments in person, I usually deflect them. I LOVE giving other people compliments though, I do it almost every day. I'm going to try harder to accept compliments 🥰
I was out on a night out in my local town and I had a sandal heels on and someone told me I had really nice feet! I was slightly taken back but I did say thank you!x
The most random compliment I've received is that I "look very Welsh...lovely blue eyes and rosy cheeks" 😂 But the one that I've liked most is that I'm very eloquent. I think I struggle to communicate and that I'm a very awkward person so hearing that was a huge boost of confidence.
100% - for me I realised that it kind of made me feel off whenever I gave someone a compliment and they deflected it. It also kind of takes the joy or love out of giving someone a compliment as well, it's not very nice haha. Anyways, if it's hard to fully accept it I found that at least shining the light back on the giver might be an easier first step like "Thank you for saying that" "Thanks, that's nice of you to say".
Someone at a bar once said to me: "you have a nice nose, I like the way it goes up at the end" I just thought that was so random but so sweet 😂
Love the laid back format of a lunch time ramble
I would just say ‘thank you’! I love giving compliments too, also makes me feel good that I’ve made someone else’s day.
I was so Bad in accepting compliments in my early twenties, for example when someone complimented my Dress i Always Said how cheap it was 😅 so stupid. Just say thank you! Doesn't matter how much money you spent on it!! Today I'm better at it and I love to make compliments. ☺️
And btw, really like your fringe today.
I have always found it hard to accept compliments and would always deflect them and put myself down. Though in recent years I have been teaching myself to say "oh thank, that's so kind of you" and when I've pulled out all the stops and really made an effort I say "thank you, I made more of an effort today than normal. Thank you for noticing."
I have always complimented other people, even complete strangers on the streets or in a queue at the check out and you see how they light up and it makes them smile and I've also noticed that when people compliment me and I've deflected it that they kinda slump and look sad and I realised that when I compliment people and it lifts them up and makes them happy, it makes me feel a bit better too. So by me knocking back their compliments, really isn't being very nice to them.
So we should all accept compliments because it picks the giver up, and share compliments back, let's share the love and bring everyone up 💕❤😊
Thank you for the video. Your lunch looked yummy 😋
Take care and stay safe xxxxxxxx 💜🖤🦇
I needed to watch this 20 years ago. Taking compliments is extremely difficult for me. I think as being young girls we were always taught to not be loud about our appearance. On the same side though, I never believed people when they gave me a compliment (me being over weight and had really bad acne from a young age) I am more accepting of compliments now. Thanks for the boost today xoxo love your content!
I actually deflected a compliment on my work so hard today I made myself cringe. I responded with ‘ haha no comment’ 😷😷😷 I needed this video, thank you!
i complement people when i am out and about, if someone smells nice i tell them and ask what scent they are wearing, or where they got there clothes from, one day i told this girl her hair was fab(it was neon pink!) and she said it made her day! you never know it could really help someone just hearing something nice from a stranger.
I have anxiety disorder and I am getting there now but when I was younger I really loved the adventure time docs and I saw a girl had my favourite style ones (marceline) and I literally yelled through a panic attack that I loves her boots... not the best way to deliver a compliment but she thanked me anyway haha
I remember when a girl jumped out of her car to stop me on the street to tell me she loved my highlighter :)
Yes!! I used to always be self deprecating when complimented but now I try to keep it positive and compliment them back or just say thank you at the very least.
When someone compliments my hair I say thanks I grew it myself !!😅
Best compliment I have ever received is that I'm a real life Disney Princess!! ❤💙💜💖
I've had a conversation with my younger sister, when I tell her she looks good or she's pretty or brave or smart etc, when she deflects it or doubts herself it makes me feel like she thinks I'm lying to her. That I'm just saying those things to make her feel better when I believe them with my whole heart.
We're both getting better at raising each other up and accepting it when the other compliments us but itcs still difficult. I wish my sister could see herself how I see her until then I will continue to compliment her and make her feel uncomfortable. 😁
Really tried to work on this over the last few years as I've always been bad at taking compliments!
Now when I get a compliment I always say thank you and try and give one back ☺️
I love these little chats and topics. It is much appreciated
This proper raised my vibe today. Thanksss :-)
Love this ❤️ get compliments on my eyes or hair and do find it hard to accept it x
If that’s you in your photo then I totally agree!! Your eyes are super pretty!!
@@mikaeltruelove Thankyou so much! ❤️
Amen to that Helen!! I 100% agree with you 😊😊 I always say that to my friends, and I think its working :D 💕
Love this! I've been lucky enough to have a fair few outfit compliments which have stuck with me, I usually say thank you then launch into a tale of where I got the clothes from 😂 best compliment off the top of my head was when a caller at work told me that I had 'such a reassuring gone, I do struggle with anxiety and self doubt at work so it was lovely to hear something that basically confirmed I was doing my job properly ❤❤❤
One of my bosses told me pregnancy looked really good on me and I was beautiful. No one has really told me that since being pregnant
My dad said oh thats a nice dress, (leopard print boho flowy one I also love) and I was like thanks its from the op shop and he said that's OK though doesnt matter where you got it and I'm like I wasn't saying it in a bad way, I was glad I found it for $4 cause I'm so good at op shopping haha
My typical response to compliments is "Thanks I got it from ....." I don't know why 😅
You’re like my wiser best friend and I love it 🥰 and your eyebrows look amazing on the video indeed💅🏼
Thanks for this video. Important topic. Love these sit down chit chat videos. Like having lunch with a friend 😊
I always go 'Aww shucks' and the weirdest compliment I've ever gotten was on my hands...I got told I had good looking hands, the word 'sleek' was used
This was a great video. Thanks for sharing :)
I always say thank you lol❤
Love this, thank you 💜
I agree soooo much with this video! I really don't like when I complement someone and they say that it's actually shit. Then I start to wonder if my opinion is shit xD or when you say "thank you!" and someone will reply "oh, so you agree?" or "oh so you know that you are pretty?" or "oh, easy now!" Then why even compliment? To make someone feel like they don't deserve it? Crazy
Can’t relate to this one
I love me some compliments and I love more to dish them out to anyone and everyone. I sprinkle dat sheet.
I love your thoughts on this matter. You’re awesome!
This video has given me a whole new perspective on this side of things! Actually amazing 💚
I do have to make an effort to accept compliments. My automatic response is always to say something negative about it in return. But I'm getting better at it I think 😊 good talk, Helen! It was very nice to chill in your patio 😋
The funny thing, I am going to a life coach and my homework was to accept compliments & than Helen happend 😅 I don't accept them, that is my issue 😔💕
Thanks Helen for this & everything you do.
Keep safe & it you 💌🍀
Whenever someone compliments my perfume (almost always D&G The Only One or Elie Saab Girl of Now Forever) I always say “Thank you! I treated myself with my staff discount ;)” The perks of working in a Department store xxx
Thank you 😊
I cringe at compliments but I compliment ppl all of the time. I’m so weird about it.
Ditto
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 Amen to this.. Need to take it on board 💗
You should definitely start a podcast
Omg, Im so bad at knowing how to react to compliments, thanks for this x
Love this!! Yay to kindness and self love ❤️❤️
Self deprecating jokes was such a popular thing during the tumblr era and we never really got out of it. I’m so happy these day the narrative is changing to radical self acceptance!
Random compliment - 'I love your accent'. For context I'm from the East Midlands but I pronounce my words properly and have good diction.
I think the most random compliment (but made me feel really good) is that I have nice teeth
Hey Helen x I have anxiety and find it hard to accept compliments because of my low confidence x
Totally understand that! There was a time in my life where my social anxiety was so bad a compliment would have made me want to cry. In my head I would be like "god can't people just not look at me".. or wonder if they were doing the whole Regina George thing where they compliment something they hate to bring it to people's attention and lol about it later!
My best compliment was someone said I look arty hehe I wish I was more arty.
Yes!!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
I got complimented on my skip filling skills the other day 😀
The last couple of days I’ve been getting compliments on my eyebrows but because I’m so insecure about everything I’ve convinced myself that they’ve looked awful and they are just saying it to be nice 🤦🏻♀️ why am I like this! 😩
That's sad. I was the same, maybe it gets better with age..? You do Look amazing!!
@@miramaramu77 aww thank you! ☺️ So do you!! Anything that you do in particular to make accepting compliments easier?
@@molface1661 Training. ☺️ Everytime you get a compliment Just say "thank you!" And Smile. Your brain gets used to it and Everytime you Smile it thinks you're Happy! Sounds weird but works. And in the End it's a lack of confidence.. Surround yourself with positive people who Support you. And support yourself. When I see Pictures of myself when I was Younger and thought I'm not worth it I'm like 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ ☺️ and btw, WE are so much more than our eyebrows, Hair, Dress etc...!
What lipstick are you wearing???😍😍😍