Ordering Sushi Like a CEO - Saturday Night Live
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- čas přidán 5. 08. 2024
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With this program, you too can order sushi like a CEO. Aired 03/11/06
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"Impressive. She knows what uni is"
And she's not even a CEO.
:D
Greta M. Haha!
I was your 1000th like
Well she's a woman, obviously she can't be a CEO.
I started crying after seeing the look on her face
@Sharon Jensen n
The woman in the back has a story. She's learning to use chopsticks from her SO. This sketch has layers guys
John Doe
i thought she was just really hungry. That sushi looks nasty and she kept eating them while using the chopsticks poorly. What a actress
3 layer. bitch using chopsticks(back)-CEOcomedy-CameraBrosnScript
What does SO stand for?
BL Jones
Significant Other (Boyfriend/Husband)
As a former sushi chef.. this is so accurate with all these little CEO lmaoo. They make a fool out of themselves and we just smile looking at them dumb 😂. There is some legit sushi fan out there, but we've seen enough to know the one that just do it to look cool but not really appreciate the cuisine lol.
Lies again? Soccer United
I usually just eat toro. I like others but it’s usually the go to.
You have more self control than I do. It would be so hard to smile at someone trying to show off all while making a complete a$$ of themselves. I just saw a woman's correct someone's pronunciation of Japanese pottery with any American/french pronunciation. I schooled her and said they if you are going to correct someone's pronunciation of a Japanese word learn how to say it correctly yourself first. This woman had the nerve to call herself the Dragon Lady of pottery. I was just 🤪🤣😂🤭
"appreciate the Cuisine." Very funny, if you find Millions of Illegal Asian "Over"Fishing Vessels, depleting the World's Mercury Supply and giving Feline AIDS, to Domestic Cat food, "Funny."
Maybe it's just me but I feel like it would be better, if you're not familiar with the food, to just talk with the staff and ask what things are what they recommend. Rather than trying to fake like you know what you're talking about and make a fool of yourself.
You don't often see hosts carry a sketch practically by themselves like this.
What about Steven Seagal? /s
Matt has great timing. Everyone in the comments are bringing up Christian Bale, but MDs character reminds me more of Jim Carrey playing Patrick Bateman.
@@sammygirl6910 Wow I can really see that!!
Only the goods ones.
@Judy Thompson Did you just steal the second top comment ?
He's just a really professional looking weeabo.
U been saying weeabo before it was a popular insult
@@macyormomo2676 omg hahaha 😂
@@macyormomo2676 Nah, it's been around for over 10 years. I used to see it a lot on IRC nearly 15 years ago...
@@macyormomo2676 you sound pretty young but weaboo was an insult since i was a kid, that shits been around for abour 15-20 years
Wait until you see his katana collection in his office.
I've worked with a couple of CEO types before and the part about "paying someone to write their book" is so true lmao
Lol, for sure! I used to work as a writer for a content mill and this guy just portrayed 80% of our clients
That was my favorite line
I know your reply was a few years back. But I remember being in a book writing seminar and this lady walked in saying she just wanted to find a ghost writer to write a book and man, the room was extremely tense. It was hilarious.
I've known two CEOs and they were both really down to earth, kind people but they both worked for companies that weren't giant but still good sized national companies
Sounds very trumpesque
“Hi. I’m a CEO-Type at a large business firm. So you can imagine, I eat a lot of sushi. Like boatloads. Like beaucoup sushi.”
Fantastic opening
"Apparently, that's my last name in Japanese" 😂
Maya Rudolph doing comedy sketches in a variety of hairstyles, outfits and roles is one of life's great pleasures.
American psycho! Part 2.
That it is what it reminded me of.
and here I thought portraying people of other races in a stereotypical way was considered peak racist these days. But okay... guess for some it still is a great pleasure.
@@memento81 If I posted twice I am sorry.
Heck yeah this is my type of humor. It isn't even racist, sexist, but against arrogant narcissistic people.
The Christian Bale from American Psychology was perfect.
Edit: Ah screw spell check. Anyway a perfect sketch to me. All the skinless SOBS can cry, until you have actually no skin then holy crap that has to be painful. Just watched a Korean movie and was horrified at one point.
@@memento81 it is low-key cultural appropriation...but it's not offesinsive,it is just to to play a part.
@@dianapennepacker6854 you’re trying way too hard in your reply... you definitely voted Biden.
from a Japanese speaker, her accent was pretty damn good lmao
Her stepmom is Japanese.
Especially when she said “shrimps”
I'm mostly impressed by how good Matt Dillon pulls off the CEO look, could not have seen that before.
He’s come a long way. From Rumble Fish to….raw fish.
Oh my, I didn't recognise him.
He's still so handsome. 🤩😛
@@digby_doorighthe is indeed 😌
I knew I knew the name and voice but couldn't place him.
Matt Dillon is not only one of my favorite actors, but truly underrated as-well.
REALL
Somebody should teach the woman behind him to use chopsticks.
I know right! The way that woman uses chopsticks really bothers me
J. Hahaha, that's exactly how I use them. And only occasionally a sushi roll slips between my chopsticks, goes flying across the room and gracefully lands into somebody's eye.
Anindya Sekarnagri I'm happy to see that extras get to eat.
+J. Ikr? I've been staring at her for a while now
+J. It's quite amazing - she's the first person I've seen who can do the egg-and-spoon race to her mouth with her chopsticks held in an upside down style.
mitt romney meets christian bale in american psycho :') "FENOMENAL"
He plays himself
hahahaahah!
🤣
I read this right when he said phenomenal.
THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT
Strong Patrick Bateman "American Psycho" vibes here (I'm not the first to note this!)
Totally, it’s like a kitchen sink of toxic masculinity, insecurity/need fir dominance etc...
Guess he still can’t get that reservation to Dorsia!
@@alphamega2481 🤣🤣🤣🤣 It's okay, 'cause he had to go return some videotapes anyway.
do you mean Christian Bale?
Was looking for this comment
Maya’s facial expressions are perfect 🤣
Yeah, but she's no m&m 😂
maya's face at 3:50 is to die for omg
go ahead
Mona Lisa
😏😏😏
1:40 too
1.40 is awesome 😀
I came solely for maya rudolph's face at 1:40
1:16 too! 😄
+Gabriel La Guardia Or at 3:50
+Gabriel La Guardia The look on her face when "...she knows what uni is.." 01:12
i'm so sorry you have such kindergarten sence of humor. That face is the only piece of crap that ruins that brilliant gag.
I came at 1:40 and Mya Rudolph's face also
"Anything else Mr. Douche?" I like to say that line randomly to people 😃
I’m Japanese and I’m so impressed by how Maya did her accent. I seriously talk like that😂
Reminds me of a few American tourists I saw in Japan lol
reminds me of deez nuts on your chin
Freaking weebs
Miss Mac lol
Well, not a lot of Japanese people speak English
lol just a few??
Her sly look at the camera at 3:50 absolutely kills me. Comic timing = 100%
Sly and malevolent!
I keep coming back to this and every time he projectile hurls that last mouthful I can't help from busting out laughing!!! How to blow sea urchin like a CEO!!! 😂
Me too! He could barely contain his gag reflex after eating the oyster. His enticing sales pitch for the shrimp... "its raw, and its still got its head". ROTFL
"How to blow sea urchin like a CEO" sounds like a "spicy" book title 🤣
This is hilarious! Back in the 80’s I was a young Marine in Okinawa and went to a real sushi bar, not some place near the base. I had a buddy, who even resembled Matt Dillon a little, who was trying to impress the staff there with his limited Japanese. The thing I remember most about that day was that I kept asking what this green stuff is, and he was too distracted and not answering me. I took a big bite out of it and it was horseradish. I started spitting it up and choking and he turns around and says “What the fuck is the matter with you?”. Everyone in the restaurant was laughing at me, to this day I still laugh thinking about it.
@vic Jimenez You learned real fast what the matter was with you!!!
That is the funniest story. 😂
Oh something similar happened to me at a chinese restaurant in Houston, I ate hot mustard and thought I got poisoned 😂
I always crack up at "Impressive. She knows what uni is"
Maya is possibly one of the most underrated members of SNL, she slays EVERY TIME, even with few lines
What is her rating?
You mean overrated, surely. She has never made me even chuckle.
@@goombapizza6335 Everybody seems to know her rating except me.
Ooohhhhhh Shiaaaaaa
I think she's awesome. She MAKES every sketch she's in. Looking forward to her playing Kamala Harris 'til 2024, at least.
As I was watching this, I was thinking, "Holy shit, is this guy a douche or what?" And then Maya's character actually calls him "Mr. Douche" and I about lost my shit. This was really funny!
''Theres nothing i like more than mid morning felatio''
I'm more a tea & doughnut type of guy...
I feel Matt Dillon should have been in American Psycho after watching this sketch.
THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT
A KISS BEFORE DYING had more Mr. Ripley vibes.
This character should be on every Saturday.
thegrimyeaper i
True!!
@Lord Farquaad girl, he's still alive, still looks the same too :)
Lord Farquaad you’re acting like 2006 is 1906.
I would love to see him on diferent restaurants each episode xD (specially on a mexican food truck).
That face after he said,"arigato"😂😂😂😂
Matt Dillon is did a comeback. He always plays low rent working class characters but he does white collar really well!
yeah Drugstore Cowboy was a great film in the low rent category.
All working class know how to spoof empty suits. 😎
These comments make me feel ashamed because I don't know how to use chopsticks.
Update: since then through practice and patience I have learned. Thank you for the supportive comments :)
Me neither, don't feel ashamed. These days, I just ask for those easy-to-handle chopsticks. Much better than putting my clumsiness on display every time.
They also invented fork you know. It works with noodle and sushi. No Asian will laugh at you for using fork. We use it too.
Lily Craotic i am a asian too and i do eat with a fork
Lily Craotic and Nickie Idrus: thanks, good to know!
Buy a few pairs (it's like, a dollar for five) cook and eat with them at home. Pro tip, if you're eating rice, don't eat the rice from a flat plate - that's insane. Put the rice in a small bowl. Think of the chopsticks and bowl as like your knife and fork.
Y’all leave the girl in the background alone she was just trying to make some money!
Haven’t had sushi in 9 months. I’m dying to pour loser soy sauce on a giant clam
*He was trembling when had to eat the Shrimp*
Went to eat sushi with girlfriend and her sister and her date, the date was ordering everything in Japanese the chef says l dont speak Japanese I'm Korean, the three of us busted up laughing and her date felt hella stupid cause he was always trying to show off, he was always fronting.Hilarius
😂
I bet if the chef answered him in Korean, Big Shot would have assumed he was speaking Japanese.
Just to be clear if a person is literally speaking in Japanese and they put in the effort to learn Japanese so that they can order in Japanese they are absolutely not fronting.
That's legit effort. Like, a lot of it.
@@Invirulent True but also he looked at an Asian dude and just went with "yea this guy is Japanese" I would laugh too if he made that mistake
They aren’t frontin at all. They know how to speak a language. How the hell was he supposed to know he was Korean
I searched for the book on Amazon but couldn't find it.
found it yet?
ah damn it was on ebay for a while...was sold for a few thousands and thousands of dollars in just a few hours..it's so rare nobody can tell when will the next one be auctioned...
Found it yet?
Fake news.
I can sell you a copy for $87.85. Just send a money order or cash to me first.
Matt got to be one of the funniest cats around as well the best actors of all his generation has produce.
All these years later Matt Dillon still is so good looking gjhfgjjkg
Maya doesn't even have to say anything. She can just stand there & I would laugh. 😂 Same with Bill Hader.
I swear Maya Rudolph can play as any race on this planet
...or maybe Even beyond
Didn’t Matt Dillon played Dallas Winston from the outsiders? He aged like fine wine ❤
Matt Dillion proving why he’s a legend.
Where is he?! He was a one of a kind. Very "CEO Type" appearance😂 the way things are he could even play a Politician😂😂😂
I wish this book was available!! It would make a great Christmas gift.
Is this mitt Romney?
He’s being very sincere for he stated that he paid someone to write his book on How to order Sushi like a CEO
"Impressive, she knows what Uni is."
I hate this character so much. He's that good.
Thats awesome, what a perfect ceo sketich..,l love Matt Dillon.. such a genuine person and actor. he can do any kind od acting... and so aquarius😀
I can tell he really enjoyed that.
I love how this skit was clearly an excuse to make him eat gross (if you're not used to it) food. I also love how committed SNL actors are sometimes, spitting in each others mouths and making out and such. lol.
That couple struggling with chopsticks ina the background deserves a "Best Extra" award xD
no, they are both holding them so low. That is just wrong.
I'm Japanese and I was surprised at how well Maya Rudolph did Japanese-English accents.
But the "namida" thing... I've never heard anyone call wasabi "namida" haha
Her stepmom is Japanese and helped raise her after her mom died. I'd say that gives her an edge in this regard.
Doesn't namida mean tears? 😂
Dillon morphed into Ben Stiller there for a moment lmao. The best part of this skit is Maya's flawless Japanese accent! 😂
Lmfaooo I died when he started spitting out the food 😂
1:39 LOL THE BEST PART LOL
Maya's facial expressions never fail to kill me
if california rolls and a seaweed salad with pork gyoza makes me a square, i can accept that lmao
I lived in Japan for four years and learned to eat sushi there. In Japanese. But at that time (early 80s), sushi was only available in big cities in America. After a year back in East Texas, this sushi-starved girl was happy to go to Dallas to a sushi restaurant. But, a problem: the waiter was Chinese, and I only spoke sushi in Japanese. Luckily, a couple of places opened up at the bar, and the sushiya was happy to speak Japanese with us.
I went home and ordered a poster that showed the English names for sushi.
There's a sushi bar in my little home town now. My, how times have changed.
No one cares
Rob K is right
To the replies of this comment above: do y’all actually find it funny or edgy to respond negatively to something that shouldn’t offend you at all or am I missing something? Because I guarantee you nobody cares even more about your opinion rather than a nice and wholesome little story. Grow up.
@@EMBEEAY wtf that story was ridiculous... it was the worst comment in the comment section. it’s like the kind of story your grandmother tells that you have zero interest in.... she calls herself a sushi starved girl... cringe....and then says she went to get sushi and the waiter was Chinese and she only spoke sushi in Japanese which is also ridiculous and bordering on racism towards Chinese people. I guarantee you that the Chinese waiter knew the sushi names in Japanese or English. Then she ends with “how times have changed.” Time always change. One day there will be more Korean BBQ places then they’re now.... but one needs to hear a story about in the comment section of an SNL skit video.
@@robk8648 why are you so offended by another persons story
When he picked 'uni'… I was literally shouting "noooo!!" 🤣 I kinda knew he's gonna throw it out!
Uni is delicious though! (As long as it's super fresh)
What! It’s good!
I like it too In small amounts. I felt very decadent when I lived in Crete, Greece and could get whole, immediately fresh sea urchin. That and fresh oyster are just slurping up pure sea mana.
Maya Rudolph looks like the landlady from Kung Fu Hustle
Love this sketch
I love Maya's face 🤣 Reminds me of what one of Kristen Wiig's characters says "That's America...it's a problem". In fact, in my opinion, it can be a problem in places that are inhabited by people who think "You know what, I am more sophisticated than you are".
'Please, call me Norman. My father was Mr. Douche.'
dude i have watched this like 100 times and still laugh when i watch it again
"Ay yu yedy to orda?" LOL, she's really good at impersonating Japanese Waitress. 😂😂
+Egi Marcell and how she's annoyed at white people with bad Japanese
"yedy"?
Nah...swing and a miss
Nah, more like "Aru yuu redii foru oruda?"
@@user-yj8pt7gt3g ohhda xD
@@HomasterX I believe her mom is Japanese
Maya Rudolph knows how to play to the camera so well!
Maya stole the entire show with her expressions haha
Maya nailed the pronunciation for sashimi. Impressed!
Lol Maya is nailing that Japanese accent
He’s great. In There’s Something About Mary, he was outrageously funny. Underrated comedy talent
Roller pig?
I think I’ll stick to the edamame and California rolls 🤣
Somehow he reminds me of Mitt Romney.
That girl behind him didn't know how to use chopsticks. Cute :`)
Is that Matt Dillon? Didn't know he has such a cool voice.
My favorite THE NANNY episode: Fran eating Wasabi!
Directions in a book how to order sushi with that much description pages would actually I believe be something a lot of people would buy,
And Beginners Book to Sushi is an interest point of description for many people they could enjoy. It sounds and looks like a very good book.
At the start, the woman in the background cant even hold a chopstick right
2:15 me when eating sea food lol
0:45 Kiefer Sutherland cameo?! and major missed opportunity: dont act like a zero, be a CEO *HERO!! *
Even as a japanese high-school student, this is veryveryvery funny!!!
The lady in the background has no idea how to use chopsticks
“Is the oonie good tonight “ omgsgdhsghj wthh 🤣😂
He’s a “ CEO- TYPE” @ a “ large Business Firm” lol lol
This is just great and different, I love this skit.
Maya Rudolph! so funnny! :)
2:39 that look says it all
"Amma Ah-aye-bee"
I'm dead 😂
The first time I ate sea urchin, I almost threw up. The 2nd time, my body recognized that since I wasn't poisoned the 1st time, sea urchcin actually tasted good, really good!
Eeavening - I'm with you. Uni is now one of my favorite foods (poor uni!). I would NEVER spit it out across the room!
@@MossyMozart I love it. The creaminess. It’s like a smooth custard.
It's really funny how he avoided eating any of it. 🤣🤣
Damnnnn he ate that giant raw clam like a papaya yo!
Despite all that, he actually uses chopsticks correctly!!😂
Nobody says "sea urchin" when they're ordering uni. Hell, nowadays we even call it uni when we're making Italian food with it...
I love how Maya can play any character.
1:44 LMAO i'm dead
I watched it a second time just to see what the chopstick disaster was all about.
He looks like mitt romney
Probably not a coincidence....😂😂😂
@scott nicholson - He looks like Matt Dillon, too.
After reading some of the other comments, I see that he IS Matt Dillon.
Right in the money. Said the same thing before I saw this!
*right on the money
I actually love everything he ordered lmao
Half-Josh Brolin and half-Ben Stiller here.
😂 This is one of the few laugh out loud SNL skits! Oh my stomach hurts from laughing.