The Acholyte 8. And I do mean ACHE!
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- čas přidán 4. 09. 2024
- #FormerNetworkExec #CallMeChato #theacolyte
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Basically, Osha became the bad girl for love, killed the father figure and ran off with the bad boy. They went full Fanfiction, you never go Full Fanfiction
On real life: toxic masculinity REEEEEEEEEEE!!!
On fanfiction: toxic masculinity ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@romelmunoz7957 Masculinity is never toxic if it comes ripped, shirtless, and looks like premium Ezra Miller. For all the "positive" messaging in the show, it is surprising that the "bad boys are cool" notion was celebrated that much.
@@coolcat23😅😅😅
It's not fan fiction, it's Hate Fiction.
Fan fiction is written by people who at least like the source material. These people clearly do not.
Thank you Chato for taking the metal abuse of watching this so we did not have to.
For sure. I've spent more time watching reviews than it would have taken me to watch the show - and I am grateful for it.
Let us pray.
The mental abuse is so much it's metal.
stop boomer abuse
@@KharaChmiel😂
So, none of these grand master Jedi life-long force users can detect that Headland’s wife is being deceitful? Ridiculous.
There is precedent: recall that the entire council including Yoda, could not detect Palpatine as dark lord, as he SAT NEXT TO THEM. Dumb then, dumb now.
Or dozens of Jedi Knights getting killed. Or the Sith Powers being all but invisible to the Council.
They don't even need force powers to notice the problem, Sol was training Padawans while one of the Jedi were murdered.
@@nickcharles1284 It's not that fucking simple.
Palpatine spent DECADES very very slowly working his way into galactic society, keeping himself in the background and never making a public move.
The reason no Jedi could detect him, is because the dark side was EVERYWHERE. They couldn't narrow it down to him, because it hung like a fog over the entire senate. By the time they found him out it was too late.
This situation is entirely different, it's not one Sith hiding, it's ONE JEDI that's blatantly lying her ass off, and YODA can't fucking tell she's acting sus. The Force is not a fucking Dragon Ball Z scouter, they can't go around just looking at people and reading their dark side levels. They wouldn't be able to just TELL that Palpatine is a Sith when the dark side is just generally blanketing the area and they can't pin down a source. Green Bean is one specific person giving a very dubious report that they would ALL be scrutinizing specifically. Detecting dishonesty from one specific person is completely different to sensing the dark side through a cloud of evil with seemingly no source.
And none of them talked to the muskrat who witnessed everything.
The Acolyte is a show that should never have been made
Like the rest of Disney SW
Disney got to money launder somehow.
Understatement 😂
They could make it. Just disassociate it from Star Wars, only spend $15M on the budget and then show it to whatever little market likes this stuff.
Literally - Bob Chapek said no, KK made it anyway. The shady sources she went to for funding was the final straw and she has been "out of office" since last summer. And the financial sources aren't the only legal mess around The Acolyte.
The good news is that it's certain the show will be completely ignored if not retconned officially since no one left wants this mess.
The question is if we can expect the show to get "Willowed" off D+ soon.
Qimir in episode 3: You saw my face... you all must die!
Qimir in episode 8: I can just wipe her memories.
WHAT?! LOL
The results of the memory wipe also seem kind of... severe? By all indications, she seems not okay. I think she got Simple Jack'd!
But he didn't need it to erase her memories: whatever the intel Venestra wanted to prove the senator concerns right and blame all on Sol, nothing could change to keep Mae's mind intact the same with all the witness involved 😅😅😅
You hire amateurs you get amateurish results. Thank you, Paul, for taking eight for the team.
Amateurs? This show was actually written by a preschool case right after watching an episode of Velma
young woman with no experience flies a starship
You know, like you do. Like when you just hop in a helicopter and fly it. I’m sure it’s fine.
It’s very Rey.
This show only got made to keep Headland's secrets secret.
100%
The Acolyte is Star Wars through the eyes of a heathen.
The Acolyte, Star Wars if it was written by children watching Scooby Doo
" I have better things to do, like putting my head into a wood chipper". Best comment about this show ever
What pissed me off was that dang Gopher. First he helps Sol capture Mae, then he helps Mae escape from Sol. Pick a lane dude.,
every character flip flops from good to evil to good for no reason so why should the animals be any different. The flip flops are like a saturday night live skit.
Remember the twins are non binary and the Gopher uses the They/Them pronouns: both usually jump from one identity to the other and from one conviction to the other 😅😅😅
whatever the plot need.
None of the characters have any agency, they only do what the script necessitates
I guess I owe Chato a dollar because the Acolyte did not bring back the witches as thread ghosts to sing 'the power of many'. I made the mistake of thinking they wouldn't place Chekhov's gun on the mantle and then do nothing with it but, the Disney writers have always found a way to surprise and subvert.
I guess you didn't watch the credits. We got a reprise of "The Power of Mannny"
One insult you could never level at 'The Six Million Dollar Man' was that it tried to push political agendas or 'modern audience' thinking. Simple harmless, episodic, action escapism.
Last year I picked up season 1 of "Alias Smith and Jones" on DVD, watching every episode I could not stop thinking; "Why don't they make fun shows like this know?" That show was filmed (not videoed) so the quality is still decent, unlike most BBC show from the 70's and 80's that look terrible now.
With few exceptions like "House of Dragons" that surprised me after GoT, "Resident Alien" that has been one of the funniest shows for ages, you have to go back a decade or more.
Fun and well written shows like "Grimm", "Burn Notice" and "Elementary" (This one surprised me as having pushed the "female" Watson, it actually turned out to be very good) and “Boston Legal” a show that showed Bill Shatner and James Spader both have perfect comic timing.
Go back two to three decades to get Buffy. B5, Stargate (SG1 and Atlantis”, nothing later) and dozens of other shows.
Chato can hate watch for us... but the rest of us should not EVER be giving Disney subscription money
... that's why I give on patreon... 😊
I burst out laughing when Mae jumps in the little escape fighter and takes off. She looked like some kid playing in the back yard.
The Bionic man/ Bigfoot team up was epic.
Remember, Lesley Headspace has the emails and the Polaroids, wink, wink 😉
This show is not Canon. I can't believe glimpses of Yoda and Plagueis made it in... This is truly the Dark Times of Star Wars...
“But this is my channel” lol. Exactly
I laughed so hard at that.
Walt-
Is STILL rolling in his grave.
George-
Is STILL rolling...
In his giant mountains of money.
Lucas committed as many narrative crimes as this pile. MIdichlorians ? 5 year old Anakin being a mechanical genius ? Ewoks because he owned the merchandising rights ? Boring green screen directing ? Wlkak and talk ? The list of poor "creative" decisions own the SW franchise goes back a LONG way.
@@MrScrofulousEverything you say is true, but Disney Star Wars makes the Holiday Special look like Shakespeare.
@@gregsmith7949 That may be so, grasshopper, but it's been a continuous decline for several decades now, since the prequels first dropped. Darth Jar Jar, anyone ? Star Wars intergalactic battles being fought on a single field by bunch of skinny droids and a handful of swamp dwellers ? Seriously ?
@@MrScrofulous Grasshopper? 🤣 Must you be so pretentious?
@@gregsmith7949 Just trying to keep it light-hearted man, don't get bent. You call me Palawan, we'll call it even. CN COINFIRM, I'M NOT A FAN, JUST HERE FOR TEH ROASTS.
They should have done a s series called The Cellulite. A show that revolves around overweight Jedis that spend all of their time at Dex’s diner eating pie instead of training.
The protagonist could be called the Kung Fu Panda-wan.
@@Jimmie2429 I hear Jack Black may be in the market for work, so they could still give us this masterpiece we didn't know we wanted. Hopefully it features different types of pie each week. :)
@@cynthiacarter9055 with tie ins at all the theme park restaurants. It makes too much sense. They'll never do it.
Darth Diabeetus from the Sackoshyte could be the lead!
That last image of Osha and Qimir holding hands, that's so "the Message".
The chick is standing in a masculine, self assured and at-the-ready posture. You see her legs solidly planted in a dominating, military alpha male posture.
Qimir, despite being the taller "male", is wearing that long whatever looking skirt, making his silhouette one delicate looking feminine line, reminding me of a woman in a long gown. His posture is relaxed, evoking a female holding onto a man's arms for support in the very classic posture in courtship when men lead and the women follow their lead. Osha's silhouette obviously represents the male lead whereas Qimir evokes the female supportive role.
This is the state of Feminism right now. They have 'realized' that they can not 'compete' with Men as Women straight up. So have effectively thrown in the towel. They must feel, act and depict themselves the way they see men behaving in order to feel like worthy human beings. The 'feminine' - in North America at least - is seen like it was in the bad/good old days: As useless, weak, powerless, ineffectual and needing Manhood to lead the way for them.
For the modern feminist, being (looks at so-called 'Wage Gap') 76% of a man is considered vastly superior to being 100% of a woman. So ladies and girls, dress and talk and act like a man - even if you have no clue how or why you're doing this - or you are doomed to be regarded as 'just a woman'.
Feminism lost the battle. After decades looking for respect and equality, they've all but admitted that manhood and masculinity are the only true respectable 'lived realities' worthy of respect in modern society. And are writing fiction and fictional characters accordingly. With a side helping of emasculating men (depicting them as womanly/feminine eg: "breaking gender norms)) to help them feel less like pretenders, tourists and frauds.
They did this with some of the promo shots for Last Jedi too - Kylo with his flowing cloak, next to Rey in a wide stance as if she was protecting him. They seem terrified of letting a female character ever be vulnerable or need the support of a male, even if he's her love interest and she NEEDS to show him vulnerability in order for the romantic subplot to work. Very frustrating.
Great description!
Love the “lurking gherkin” nom de satire!
I didn't watch the show. Your fortitude saved so many people valuable time and brain cells.
So the entire 'plot' can be summarised as "...and then..."
Good job.
Or "I tell you later" too 😅😅😅
No 'and then'!!!
You must be a very, very brave man. Voluntarily taking an extended excursion to such an intellectual Gulag is really something special. I would never do that, but I am a coward.
I am so glad I gave up on Star Wars before The Last Jedi.
I did after Phantom Menace.
I envy you for having dodged that bullet. TLJ was the biggest shit dump in cinematic history. It was pretty much Spaceballs but offered as being serious instead of a spoof.
Please God no! Please no season 2!!!!! I'm an atheist and this show has reduced me to prayer.
😂LOL 😂!
Hollywood's next bomb: The Six-Million Dollar Eunuch; A series about the coming of age of a Danish lesbian.
But I digress.
hey-hey, leave us Danisch out of this Crap.
This show was 6MX30 dollar "woman"
Danish? You understand Danes are white right? Unless my grandma was telling you not to listen to what they taught you in school and that they were actually black
@@barnabusdoyle4930 What an odd thing to say.
@@ozzymandius666 Well, after I was told Cleopatra was black…
I only know these shows exist because of brave souls like you.
I don't need the brain damage.
Osha bleeding the crystal red was so infuriating I felt like just having to witness this healing pile of dog crap was some sort of sith anger releasing exercise
You MUST drop Disney. Hate watching pays them the same
It’s not my account. I wasn’t really hate watching either because I thought it was manageable up until the 7th episode. If there is a season 2 I don’t think I will watch. I’m just going to pretend this series never existed
@@rafter_man that was BS, any one who knows anything about Star Wars knows there is a process involved in producing a red crystal
@@johnbransby6231 Disney established a canon for Kyber crystals changing to red; a Sith has to focus on the crystal and meditate on it for like....days. Disney destroyed their OWN canon in this episode lol. They can't even stick to their OWN canon.
@@KharaChmiel they bleed the crystal by the process you mentioned which was established in the EU. Disney seems to ignore the EU except when it suits them
After Vernestra finishes throwing Sol under the bus, Yoda states, "GREAT deception I sense in you. BLAMELESS, Sol is! Think me blind, do you? Take over this investigation, I shall - a Jedi, YOU are NOT."
This CZcams channel was the best part of Acolyte
After The Acolythe I think Ed Wood was a genius filmmaker
The writing on this show makes me pine for the Shakespeareian elegance of Jar Jan Binks.
I had to pause for laughter after "Lurkin' Gerkin" 🤣
"Did you ever hear the story about
Darth Plagiarist the Liar?"
I hear Acolyte 2 will take place on Earth as a small group of padawan are instructed how to live in their new home by 2 Jedi with flying motorcyles. If Disney is just going to crib storylines from other shows it's time for a little Battlestar Galactica.
Didn't Hagrid fly a motorcycle too lol
Poor old Yoda, relegated to cameos to try and save a dying franchise.
Watching you review this is like watching a John Carpenter movie where the protagonist slowly descends into madness.
Anyone that thought seeing The Thing was the ultimate in alien terror never saw Chato review the Acholyte.
@@GenuineLhachwenI would compare it more to In the Mouth of Madness personally 😅
In common with The Thing this is getting slated on release... but we all know where this will be in 40 years!
@brick6347 Do you read Sutter Cane?
@@DJ_Macphistohe designed my house
Osha and Qimir will give birth to Palpatine who turns out was actually adopted :)
OMG please don't give them ideas, I could 100% see Lazy Sh*theadland doing this.
"Why do you keep watching modern entertainment?"
"Because it feels so good when I stop!"
“…the tube of convenience “. LOL
“The lurkin’ gherkin”. Hahahaha! 😂
Hmmm...black on Korean violence? Someone needed to tell Osha to "Stop the Asian hate".😆
I didn't watch the show. So no comment there, but I did enjoy watching my favorite viewer pick it apart 😂.
Hedland confirmed that the charcoal dust was the mother transforming herself and may into the force to protect them... so poorly executed on screen you'd never know it
I thought she was just confused about what franchise she was in and was becoming a dementor from Harry Potter …
@@davidanderson4748 I thought it was an anti-smoke commercial, as in "smoking is not good for your health".
Why would they not represent it with particle shiny bits? Because they meant to make it dark. They were toying with making evil not a bad thing, this entire sorry ass show.
The whole story only works for the following reasons. First, Osha wants to become a Jedi without any reason. The young Jedi wants to go home and is homesick for no reason. Sol holds the bridge instead of the twins. Sol fails to explain for years that the mother died accidentally. And finally, Osha turns evil in a single day without any reason. If even one of these points didn't forcibly happen, the whole story would fall apart.
And May survived because she was sucked into a tunnel!?!?
Yoda , the one character in the Star Wars universe that the writers believe will make the viewers forgive all that has transpired.
#NotMyYoda
A master class in how NOT to write and produce a series. All aspects. It should be taught at University.
I just want to mention I appreciate the Terry Gilliam-inspired thumbnail of this video a lot.
"I digress!"
"Because!"
"Leave me alone!"
I loved it when Smiloren said; 'It's morbing time'!
Plagueis was Palpatine's Master. So they're trying to retcon the timeline, for no apparent reason. It might have made sense for Osha or Qimir to be the Sith Master three Masters before Palpatine, because Plagueis' Master was a Bith (huge pale head, big black eyes, and the same species that was playing in the band in A New Hope cantina scene). Not looking good for keeping the canon timeline.
Man this series isn't a chore but a psychological torture, I hope you get a holiday after all of this ending
"We know the Force is female, and boring."
Brilliant!
Absolutely right about The Six Million Dollar Man. I own the limited edition TALKING box set and there are some howlers.
Especially the MOUSTACHE seasons.🤨
I looked on IMDb. For this episode there are 4 writers, and 17 producers, SEVENTEEN !!!!
And hey, there was 1 gay fellow on Buffy, Larry, he died on graduation day.
Six Million Dollar man ... awesomeness distilled
Lurkin' Gherkin... Priceless! 🤣😂🤣😂
As a headphone user I can't thank you enough for the time spent editing so my ear drums weren't blown out during a gag. Still scared the shit out of me :D
I listen on my hearing aids via Bluetooth from my phone. The hearing aids have over-volume protection built in, fortunately.
Good to see Frank Spencer getting a Larger Role. Betty will be please🤣
I had watched the first 5 episodes just to say I had watched it for myself...but I have just lost all interest. Thankfully Chato has been taking one for the team lol.
Btw, awesome shirt.
I guess you can tell the Kennedy touch on this which was part of the Kennedy era of Disney Star Wars. She didn't create the original so she allows anyone, who meets her criteria, to mess with the IP in any way they want so long as it does not conflict with her attempt to create a form of Star Wars she can claim to have fashioned in her image (and beliefs).
This is what happens when you over-promote glorified secretaries and assistants of actual creative people in to positions of power.
I would like to say that, yes, I watched the series but, it was soooo good and sooo interesting that not even Pirate Bay was interested in uploading it 🤣
I think this is the best live action Star Wars show since Asoka, a thing that is technically true.
I loved how it provided fodder for funny reviews, how it deepened Star Wars lore by explaining that physics, common sense and good taste didn’t exist in that universe far far a way, a little bit longer ago.
The characters are all instant icons for being vehicles for boring, meandering nonsense.
Truly this show is a classic. A classic example of what happens when you pull what you leave in the toilet out and turn it into art. I’m sure the show runners are proud.
Thank you Chato, now rest and prepare mentally for the Rings of Amazon 2 🤣
Can't wait!!
Yes! The return of, "Oh, right, convenience!"
Bigfoot and the ice tunnel was some classic 70s TV Chato!!!!
One of the actresses during the pr-event: "Yess, yeeeessssss!" (stays creepy, even while watching it th n-th time),
the audience: "No, noooooo!"
I lived in England and I don't know what that accent is.
Bless you for going through this crap so we didn't have to.
Loved the 6 mill dollar man. when I was a kid. I would have to go back and re-watch as someone in mid 50's now to see if it was that bad.
Was waiting for your review Chato. Yours just slaps the best, leaving me in stitches 🤣🤣 Sad part of the Acolyte ending is that I wont get to listen to your wisecracks and clever takes on the show anymore lol (but I’m definitely not holding out for a season 2)
I hoping for 6 seasons and a movie. Watching everyone tear it apart has been most amusing!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for making it easier for me to cancel my D+ subscription. I was able to buy a happy meal with the money. ;)
Sympathy for Bonnie and Clyde. The thrill is gone.
Hey! Don't diss the Six Million Dollar Man! He fought Big Foot!
You know what the true mystery of the Acolyte is the amount of money spent in production and what it was spent on ....
Obviously they spent it on planting trees.🙄
"The Lurkin' Gherkin". Love it! 😄😄😄
Poor Chato! :) digging in a salt mine seams like an easier job.
Jedis who couldn't lightsaber fight their way out of a paper bag.
The Jedi 'dinner party' are senators.
That said this show really did Sol dirty.
I can’t imagine watching Star Wars anything anymore. Thanks for taking one for the team.
Love Chato! : ) laughing happily at his wit~~~
Hated what Disney did to this truly iconic work of art but loved your rendition of what they tried to produce. Until we meet again
Thanks for the review. To be fair the series is like a match game. There are a lot of ideas thrown there but they don't make a coherent story. And the worst part is that the ideas aren't even that good. Let's see if Disney learn his lesson or decide to burn another 180 millions on a couple of years.
You are a genius. Your delivery and timing….REMARKABLE. You make bad things good!
I can’t wait fir the Pitch Meeting
Can't wait for the Honest Trailer
😂😂😂 "a Sith cycle" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love this channel!
There was no chance I was ever going to watch this in the first place.
So thank you for summarizing in your usual entertaining style.
Lurkin Gerkin just got me in tears. Thanks Chato 🤣
The show runner for The Acolyte Season 2 has been confirmed to be... TOMMY WISEAU. His choice will, without a doubt, mark a new golden age for Disney Lucasfilm. Oh, hai, Osha!
I'm just gonna say it: I DO have fond memories of the show.
The six million dollar man, that is.
G'day it's Steven from Down Under again
I'm flabbergasted!
I share your pain
I am without words...
How dare they
"MAY THE FORCE BE WITH US"
I did love that the pain I endured was such that I am confident a trip to the dentist and proctologist will be a breeze by caparison. Hell, I may even go to see them both at the same time!
On the scale of 1 to 10, the painfulness of this Lesley Headcheese rubbish is a 28.3. 😣
"... Greek tragedy ... or it could've been that bad tzatziki ..." Hahahahaha! Genius!
Thank you for your service, you deserve a meddle for taking one for the team. 👍
We get a 10 second long scene of darth plagious and yoda but its to little to late we don't care if those characters are handled by leslie headland
I will take a mug of Chato with extra screaming please. Yes that was perfect, thank you!
Only critique: Jedi master Nepo(tism) addressed a *Senate* delegation and the Chancellor, not the Council. I think. Not like A SINGLE STORY ELEMENT WAS MADE CLEAR IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN SHOW. EVERY GOD DAMN THING IS A FUCKING MYSTERY BOX BECAUSE THE WRITERS THINK THE EXISTENCE OF IT IS SATISFYING, NOT THE PAYOFF.
Sorry, i think i blacked out for a second- anyway, Great video as always, Chato! Love from Texas ❤!
If justice remains in the universe, there won't be any more acolyte....