My coming out story

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  • čas přidán 25. 08. 2024
  • I discuss my coming out story and my gradual acceptance of my sexuality

Komentáře • 81

  • @richardackley1823
    @richardackley1823 Před 2 lety +6

    Beautiful story I’m so proud and relieved for you. After all the suffering and doubts, you are Free. I’m 75 now and I’ve led a tortured life trying to cope with my differences. Always alone, never had a boyfriend or girlfriend, always alone my whole life. You are such a gorgeous man, beautiful voice, your whole life ahead of you. Thank you for sharing. [Seattle WA]

  • @myboibill
    @myboibill Před 3 lety +15

    This was so close to my experience. I never made a big announcement but let it come up and out over a few years. I am an out older guy and things got better. I have thoroughly enjoyed the last 30 years and would never change nice video and your a good looking guy with a great voice. Good luck my friend.

  • @christopherrobbin4360
    @christopherrobbin4360 Před 2 lety +8

    I am so proud of you mate. Good on ya for sharing about your story. You are correct, the most difficult person to come out to is yourself. I am so glad you shared yourself and remember, it is a growing process. When you are younger its about making a statement. When you get older, you don't give a hoot what people think but when you are your age you do care about what people think about. I want to give you some tips. Confidence in yourself is highly respected. People respect others that are confident. When you were a kid and you thought about having kids and then discovered, "Gross, I gotta do that to get a kid? Oh hell no? YUK. LOL I had the pleasure of raising 3 kids that I didn't make that call me Dad. Now, one of theirs calls me "Papa" which mean Grandpa. EVERYONE knows I'm gay, and my kids grew up with that. I live in Milwaukie Oregon which is next to Portland and Portland seems to be GAY CENTRAL and its very accepted here. My kids friends in this generation didn't bat an eye when my kids would tell them I was gay. Their parents, near my age were shocked because I didn't come across effeminate and would ask, "I heard you were gay, is that true?" I would respond, no, but all my boyfriends were and I wonder what causes that.! LOL So, be confident now that you know who you are. One day you will meet that special guy and settle down and you might be a Dad to another human or maybe just pets. Oh, and thanks for sticking around here to be with us and teach us along your journey. You are loved by the world wide family and don't forget it.

  • @henryal1953
    @henryal1953 Před 2 lety +7

    A great person, a great video, honest, considerate, brave and all - wish you the best life ever!

  • @ianhafiz
    @ianhafiz Před 3 lety +9

    Keep the high spirits and keep on do what u love and comfortable

  • @madeinbrum8991
    @madeinbrum8991 Před 3 lety +20

    Really great video. So many things you've spoken about really resonated with me. I'm still closeted & have been for a very long time, but watching videos like this, really gives me hope that one day I will be strong enough to be the person I really am. Deep down I know my family would support me, but it's just taking that first step.
    Look after yourself & keep being you. 👍

    • @excxmoody
      @excxmoody Před 2 lety

      Whoever is in this video. Only one other guy aside from who's in the video I'd love to show a friend I saw earlier today. You both are sexy.

    • @flyjet787
      @flyjet787 Před 2 lety +3

      Madeinbrum89,
      I was SO terrified telling my mom (I was 19 and friends were pressuring me). She and I had a close relationship (esp. having been thru abuse from my dad together). She was surprised (I have never acted stereotypically gay - but also never had a girlfriend but did have several "sensitive-arty" friends). She said first that we'd get help from experts to "fix" it! I was NOT expecting that (2 of her best friends were gay). I said I was normal and ok and didn't need to be changed. She said ok and that she'd always love me no matter what. After a couple months adjusting to the idea (i was away in college) she was totally fine. That was in 1988.
      Not hiding, lying, censoring everything I said, struggling to never reveal that part of myself was mentally/emotionally exhausting (over a period of 19 years at that point). Life got SO much better after coming out. A few weeks or months of discomfort with loved ones is worth it!
      If I can do it, anyone can.
      (But don't do it until you are ready.)

    • @excxmoody
      @excxmoody Před 2 lety +2

      @@flyjet787 Without having gone into a lot of detail I was able in some manner to try explaining. Glad it didn't end the same way like a couple years ago.

    • @excxmoody
      @excxmoody Před 2 lety +2

      @@flyjet787 Least doing so along with hanging out with friends for league...not as mentally exhausted like how it was explaining back then. A couple years ago how things happened everyone I tried explaining wouldn't listen....that was very upsetting.

    • @madeinbrum8991
      @madeinbrum8991 Před 2 lety +2

      @@flyjet787 Thanks for sharing your story Chris & for your positive words of encouragement. I live in hope that one day soon I too will be strong enough to accept & embrace my full self. Best wishes to you.

  • @BrownsBacker
    @BrownsBacker Před 2 lety +1

    Great video.... your honesty is going to change the lives of young people who are not outwardly gay in their affectations, but inside feel that they are....stories such as yours helps those who are less stereotypical, but still gay. I hope you all the happiness as you live your life as your true self.

  • @willsingh3437
    @willsingh3437 Před rokem

    Hey, I don’t know if you’ll see this but I saw this video (and a few of your others that I think you took down) during lockdown and everything you said resonated with me. At a time when I saw no way out and no one I could relate to - no positive representation - your videos helped me see a light and sparked a hope in me to love myself, who I am and who ‘we’ are in this world. Now a few years later I can say that it’s still a journey but I’ve come leaps and bounds since. So yeah I’ve been meaning to comment for a while to say thank you and hope life is treating you well 🙏🏼 stay blessed 🧡

  • @arjunkv6312
    @arjunkv6312 Před 3 lety +19

    Your voice is just🔥

    • @MN-pz2op
      @MN-pz2op Před 2 lety +2

      I thought the same 😍😍😍🤤🤤💓

    • @rivenadeshizzle
      @rivenadeshizzle Před 2 lety +1

      IKR! So manly!! Not into guys that sound like pussies.

  • @warrenpaine
    @warrenpaine Před 2 lety +5

    People don't choose to be gay any more than people choose to be left-handed. It's just the way your brain is wired and it's the rational choice to be who you are. Imagine a left-handed person going through life trying to be right-handed. It would be a miserable life. I hope you have a wonderful life being true to yourself.

  • @chrismasbride
    @chrismasbride Před 2 měsíci

    Can tell how anxious you were making this video, you displayed great courage making this video. I am certain it has helped others in the past 2yrs. I hope that you are feeling more comfortable with being out and gay now in 2024. Coming out isnt (imo) a one time and done type thing, coming out is a lifelong ongoing ordeal. As you age and develop new accuaintenships, friendships, relationships and meet new people, their is some point in deciding if your going to come out to that person. For me, in some cases, I don't voulenteer my sexuality, but if they were to ask me if im gay, not to lie about it either. The most difficult relationship for me is my family - they know im gay, have known for 35yrs, yet we never talk about my being gay. Essentially I feel like they dont know me by not ever being willing to discuss a huge aspect of my life. I've had long term partners who my family simply refered to as my friend or my roomate. It hurts that they didnt seem to care about the relationship with my former partner or about him in general. The lack of support in communication really messed me up. Im glad you have supportive family it really is important and will help you as you age, and hope you are feeling more comfortable being gay to yourself also. 😊

  • @JL-re1rx
    @JL-re1rx Před 2 lety +3

    Thanks for sharing! Wishing you peace love happiness and confidence

  • @markwilliams8538
    @markwilliams8538 Před 3 lety +5

    Thank goodness we are all unique. How awesome you have been able to do it in your own way. Enjoy life the best we can right.

  • @christopherdamien2248
    @christopherdamien2248 Před 2 lety +3

    Being authentic is coming home to oneself. Thank you for sharing your experience and your path to authentic being. Some of us discover that queerness is the roof over our head and the ground under our feet: home. Queerness liberates and sets an example for others who are not gay/queer: we set the example that it takes courage to be authentic. The courage to be authentic applies to everyone. So your homecoming to yourself is a light for all.

  • @Massev6871
    @Massev6871 Před 3 lety +4

    You are a very articulate human being. How wonderful people have access to these experieces. It must help people feel less isolated and give a stepping stone to making life better.

  • @alberdehaas9858
    @alberdehaas9858 Před 2 lety +3

    Thank you for sharing your story, I came out when I was 44 years old. After 7 years harion addiction and being a big people plezer I finaly came out. The big change came when I started to like and love myself. Now I am married to a beautiful husband and yes life will get better. Cheers

    • @IRGhost0
      @IRGhost0 Před 2 lety

      That’s awesome! Life gets a million times better when you can live honestly as yourself.

  • @NebraskaBarr
    @NebraskaBarr Před 2 lety +5

    I like his Voice 👍

  • @greathornedowl3644
    @greathornedowl3644 Před 3 lety +5

    WOW, you are a handsome young man. Sorry, you carried this on your shoulders for so long; hopefully, you've shed that burden. Do not care about what others think, your real friends will stay your friends. Live your life, follow your dreams, stay healthy and happy. 💋💋💋

  • @manli3598
    @manli3598 Před 3 lety +4

    Great sharing! I havent came out to my parents yet, but I will be on it. Thanks for your video. viewer from Hong Kong

  • @marvilousstudio8776
    @marvilousstudio8776 Před 3 lety +3

    Thanks for sharing your story....were here to support you no matter what ..

  • @christopherlu4544
    @christopherlu4544 Před 2 lety +1

    The fact that CZcams algorithm brought me here probably says something about my sexuality.

  • @ted1091
    @ted1091 Před 2 lety +3

    Great video, thank you. I came out at 18 in 1974 in NY. It was only 5 years after the Stonewall Riots, but life for Gay people was very difficult still. Yet at the same time, there was a feeling that life was just starting for us. We were always angry and fighting though, and it stayed that way for another 30 years. I'm glad to see that younger Gay people have it a little easier. Your video is so clearly stated - I'm sure it will help many others

  • @anman366
    @anman366 Před 3 lety +5

    Great video and outlook on life man, thanks for sharing your story!

  • @ceezi1830
    @ceezi1830 Před 3 lety +3

    U r really really brave to do this .. I adore and respect.. and look at u.. so kind, calm, soft.. a real men ..

  • @laramiejon
    @laramiejon Před 2 lety +3

    Your energy and sincerity shine thru in this video, as well as your intelligence and sensitivity
    The journey is never easy and full of challenges but it is also worth it
    Always here to listen and share

  • @markjovittoyco9148
    @markjovittoyco9148 Před 2 lety +1

    That's good sir.......there's nothing wrong about telling who you are, how you feel, and what you tend to do with your life as long as you never hurt anyone.....continue to love yourself sir.....feel free to experience the wonder of life and be happy♥️👍

  • @xelakram
    @xelakram Před 2 lety +1

    Very good video. I wish you the very best in life. Coming out, as you well know, is hard., but it liberates you. When a person comes out, he/she can live an authentic life. Be and stay happy!

  • @JL-re1rx
    @JL-re1rx Před 2 lety +1

    You are a very thoughtful and warm-hearted soul

  • @musicfanboy21
    @musicfanboy21 Před 2 lety +1

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful coming out story. I am a gay man myself from Australia and I’m 35 now and I came out to myself at 15 and my family and friends.

  • @marvilousstudio8776
    @marvilousstudio8776 Před 3 lety +2

    It's ok....I'm so proud of you of being honest....more powers hope to upload another Vids. Watching from Philippines...♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

  • @flyjet787
    @flyjet787 Před 2 lety +3

    Being gay was incredibly difficult when I was younger. When I put two and two together at age 12, realizing what the words gay, faggot, homo meant and applied to me, I was in a state of shock, overwhelming fear, self-disgust, and shame. I remained in this state for 3 years totally by myself, no one to reach out to (I thought I was the only one). Realizing I was gay as a 12 year old kid was MUCH harder for me than coming out (and coming out was frightening enough thank you!) Later, in my early 20's, a psychiatrist diagnosed me with severe PTSD caused by the trauma of hiding myself as well as coming out experiences. Despite working thru it with a few mental health prof's and reading self-help type books, it's a wound that has been with me my whole life. I got thru most of it and have been out and in good relationships since I was young. Nevertheless, there is that piece of shame in my head that never really leaves.
    Great video! You are helping countless people thru their struggles by sharing your story. Thanks for taking the time to do it and for being brave and vulnerable enough. (It does get better just sometimes only after a period of it getting worse).

    • @ted1091
      @ted1091 Před 2 lety +1

      Same here. Those of us who came out 45 years ago had it rough. We had no other choice but to fight, kind of like being drafted. So we did, and many of us got good at it. But as you say, the resulting PTSD never goes away.

    • @flyjet787
      @flyjet787 Před 5 měsíci +1

      ​@@ted1091 I hear you. I was 12 y/o in 1981.....

  • @allure7744
    @allure7744 Před 2 lety

    Thanks for sharing your story mate. There are actually a lot of bisexual, fluid and gay men just like you. They just happened to be in the closet and you are making it easier for men to be comfortable with there sexuality to be real with themselves, love themselves, accept themselves fully, and be unapologetic. You are not alone, always remember to be true to yourself and live your life in truth that is the way to true happiness!😊🙏

  • @zeuswill9523
    @zeuswill9523 Před 2 lety

    '' How long did you know you were straight"....perfect...I love it! he's georgous! ..My mom was like I knew.. and we kept on talking...the conversation was like..ok...so are you going to pick up the milk from the store after the gym??? I know others don't have that simple experience, I was glad my mom was so cool about it...I was built different. It didn't matter rather she took it good or hard to me because my thoughts had always been, it was my life, they have lived there lives and now I have to live mine..I just told her and my family because I didn't want anyone else seeing me out with my new boyfriend and them hearing it from the streets. It was a respect thing for me. rather they had approved or not! that was on them..I was going to live my life!

  • @chrisyoung3082
    @chrisyoung3082 Před 2 lety +1

    Sending love out to you .... ❤❤❤

  • @brandoncold1027
    @brandoncold1027 Před 2 lety +1

    Dude you're amazing 🙂

  • @Dextamartijn
    @Dextamartijn Před 3 lety +2

    Definitely would like to see more

  • @Tripper111
    @Tripper111 Před 3 lety +4

    Just be You Dude...

  • @Mcfreddo
    @Mcfreddo Před 2 lety +2

    Glad you made it without too much damaging drinking or worse.

  • @thoughtsandwords3029
    @thoughtsandwords3029 Před 3 lety +4

    Keep pressing on! You're amazing! PM?

  • @atonio2476
    @atonio2476 Před rokem +2

    Be aware of a cruel form of bullying that can occur in a predominantly heterosexual environment. Women/individuals may try to humiliate a (gay) male about 'inability of performance' with members of the opposite sex (play 'psychological rape' games) or infer that a male is making 'unwanted advances' at them. This can have the effect of displacing an unsuspecting person into another psychological position, labelling them a 'sexual failure'. A bully will try to undercut the whole basis of a set discourse on gay matters, quashing use of modern terminology like 'homophobia'. Use standard terms like 'that's sexual orientation' to combat this behaviour. Have your mental pencil sharpened, and don't assume anything as being 'read'.
    In academic circles, certain people may nominate a hierarchy of other agendas, such as race or feminism, over a gay male; they only want people who 'fit their own narrative'. Far from being accorded 'special status' you can discover that you get locked into the same gender position as any other male, or have your responses labelled as 'sexist'. Beware of agendas like feminism; bullies can secretly be playing a deadly 'cat-and-mouse' game against a white male. Steer clear of discussions about (hetero) relationships 'outside of marriage', or pregnancy, where you could be used to 'play off' on. Avoid those topics which are on a hidden trip-wire.

  • @saint_lewis_ms_
    @saint_lewis_ms_ Před 3 lety +4

    You so handsome 🥰🥰

  • @ariesdragon4950
    @ariesdragon4950 Před 3 lety +1

    Your very brave and fearless thank u for inspiration story I made a video on my CZcams channel on coming out.

  • @woofenme1596
    @woofenme1596 Před 2 lety +1

    Thanks for sharing your story and journey. Acceptance of self and talking about it is key. Shared experience in our community but with slight differences. Check out TJ Klune’s “Bear, Otter, and the Kid” book series , definitely gave a great loving perspective. And for a different entertaining but powerful story and grounding series, try his “Wolfsong” , book one of the 4 book Green Creek series. Great LGBTQIA+ author. Found them phenomenal. Be well, be happy, take care!

  • @saintperthnorthcloud3850
    @saintperthnorthcloud3850 Před 2 lety +6

    I don't believe in the "coming out" word or phrase, all i know is I'm human and i accepted myself entirely and it doesn't matter what other people say and tbh idgaf about other's opinion or views in life or whatever they choose to believed in on any crazy aspects of their life in general. All i care about is the fact that I love myself and the people who uplifts me. I honestly think that we don't really need to explain ourselves to anyone in any case that concerns about gender, identity, preference, choices or whatever. At the end of the day people will always say whatever they wanna say and speak their mind no matter what or how you project yourself to society as if they know better and as if it even matters. Just be yourself, love your self and take a good control over your life.

    • @flyjet787
      @flyjet787 Před 2 lety

      Well put. Great reminder. I totally agree!

  • @liamshalamar9324
    @liamshalamar9324 Před 3 lety +4

    Um you are extremely good looking and wow that deep voice is seductive

  • @heha6984
    @heha6984 Před 2 lety +1

    All the best and God bless you! Alles Liebe aus Deutschland!

  • @atonio2476
    @atonio2476 Před 2 měsíci

    Retain a balanced understanding of the inherent limitations prevalent in the average college, school or place of HE. They tend to cater for a majority heterosexual populace, where the curriculum covers subjects such as 'child-care', pregnancy or different vocational courses. The issue of being gay is something that is all too often dispensed with. Homosexuality was originally declared illegal in Great Britain, until its partial decriminalisation under the 1967 Sexual Offences Act. Therefore, it has been something that was dealt with 'off-camera' in pubs or venues, rather than in the work place. The more recent book publications on the history of LGBT+ rights tend to draw on gay club culture, or the American model rather than the British. The modern, gaudy rainbow logo was created in 1978 in the US. It can give body, or a false sense of parity, to something that was far more closeted, by its nature. The development of the internet, in the last 25 years, has altered the state of the affairs for gay people, giving them instant access.

  • @moviewatcher2723
    @moviewatcher2723 Před 2 lety +1

    We love you❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @KingFishdom
    @KingFishdom Před 2 lety +2

    🥰🤟

  • @renepariseau67
    @renepariseau67 Před 2 lety

    Very handsome!

  • @robbieanson1218
    @robbieanson1218 Před 2 lety +1

    I want you to know that this is who you are and it doesn’t matter if you’re gay or not it took me a little trying to figure out who I am according to me and my family and now I can see what it means to be different than others. But I do know that your video is lower better than the last one I seen all that other guy did was parading his family and did not even bother to tell a story he just let His own family and show it off just a reactions and did not even bother to talk about how they handled it and how he came out to them terribly last night a story then
    But you are is who you are and God does not hate you for being that way about you so even if you are different and who cares if you are gay I am sure that God well love you anyways

  • @chaallus
    @chaallus Před 2 lety

    You are a remarkable human being! I wish I had been as 'together' as you are at age 23 (I'm 60) but we all choose different paths and have different experiences. Thanks for your video! (Now allow me to be shallow for just a moment....I could drown in your beautiful eyes and your accent turns me to jelly! OK, I'm done)

  • @nate_chan3
    @nate_chan3 Před 2 lety

    You just have to be who you are. I support you. Dam I wish if I could be your bf 😊😊

  • @1phildefer323
    @1phildefer323 Před 2 lety +1

    😘

  • @sneakerjockCA
    @sneakerjockCA Před 2 lety

    Hi. Wow you are a cutie 😍🥰🥰🥰

  • @CarlosMartinez-gm8ld
    @CarlosMartinez-gm8ld Před 2 lety +1

    Tienes novio ahora mismo o estas soltero porque alguien Como tu no tiene novio es un desperdicio con ese pedazo que eres con Todo respeto que te mereces ..

  • @user-sr4tb7tv6f
    @user-sr4tb7tv6f Před 2 lety

    And we should care because…..?

    • @ted1091
      @ted1091 Před 2 lety +3

      And yet you watched
      Hmmm