ESFP Fears: Don’t control me bro!
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- čas přidán 11. 09. 2024
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this is so relatable, im an ESFP and i hate it when my parents try to control my actions
ENTP here, agreed
As an ESFP the only reason i wanna be a CEO is bcuz i hate being told what to do. What i fear:being controlled/being trapped, being broke in the future and having no friends
I usually when i have to make a decision and i ain’t sure what to choose i tend to ask my friends and family what decision to make and then choose the exact opposite of what they told me
As an ESFP the only “abstract thing” i love is psychology. Like i’ve always been into it and loved reading about it. I wouldn’t choose a profession in that field but i love reading about it
Good you have "don't control me bro" in the video title. My father is an ESFP and hates being controlled but loves controlling others. I think that is because he is a type enneagram 8.
Oh lord... My brother is an ESFP and as a typical ISTJ, I find his unnecessary rebellions very migraine inducing.
Lol!🤣
imagine having a esfp mom even worse lmao and im infp so we dont get along at all haha but i try to be tolerable and the only things we really talk about are present matters which bores me heavily thus explaining the problem.
@@JJ-io9ms but esfps and infps have semi dual relation so you two should get along well
@@JJ-io9ms You probably will start getting along better when you get older and will start to embrace your Si more
Ayyy
This is the most underrated typology channel holy fuck.
Indeed
Damn. I think I'm an ESFP. First time hearing the Se-Te connection and it makes a lot of sense.
Yes, I agree with you Number 24 of the Kobe Bryant that Dave's explanation makes so much sense and may I say,
Kobe Bryant, you were loved and are missed.
Rip
I love to gather and hate to organize. It's so freaking true! Thanks for the very relevant Savior SE TE commentary. That was a perfect explanation of me and why I tested ESTP my entire life. Thank you!
I can't thank you enough. I've been typing my husband as an ESFP for years, despite all of the horrible profiles out there. He's on the Se-Te side of things, which makes it confusing (and also goes well with his being an e6). Anyway, it's nice to know someone else out there agrees with me.
Hey i'm exactly the same type then! I also got esfp e6 and I think I really prioritize Te over Fi
Omg yes also E6 which lines up so much (it just means I look like an ENFJ to others)
ESFP-The Shonen Protagonist.
Kevin Fuk most accurate archetype
No
I’m an INFJ and happily married to an ESFP.
This video is accurate, since long ago I’ve learned not to try to control her (in a to obvious way 😊).
Hello, Tord Karlsson from 3 months ago.
I am a female INTJ married to who we typed as being an ESTP. Today, I realized mine is an ESFP.
"since, long ago I've learned not to try to control" yes, and I did also. We have been married for 40 now
and I discovered personality typing only 2 years ago. We are Boomers, you know our kind, and yes, we are kind.
The difference in our experiences with our respective ESFP spouses includes the obvious gender difference
but its the thinking versus feeling function difference between you and I that I find so interesting.
I knew I did not need or want to control Himself and of course, the generational difference made me more
likely to allow the male to control the family dynamics, to some degree (and my Id tends to lean SFJ)
but I always thought that I could Te my reasons and Te my Ni in order for Himself to understand what I thought was important.
So, I find your comment fascinating.
My archetypal celebrity crush was Spock and just like Spock, I needed and preferred a Captain Kirk and never wanted to Lead. I went into the military and quickly realized I did not want to lead there, either and after all of these years, Beam me up, Scotty because my Kirk is an ESFP who I thought was estpish but not a Do-er,
and while humans are fascinating creatures, there really is such a difference between
"Don't you think?"...and I "Feel" you,
so, Tord Karlsson because your ESFP will not perceive her Risk versus the Reward, in the same way, perhaps you will Ni your own preferences for Risk versus Reward (and that is a gamble I wish I understood many years earlier) because sometimes warp speed needs a pause.
I do hope you speak Star Trek or grok me. lol
Live Long and Prosper, I wish you warp speed ahead with plenty of time for R&R on whichever planet you choose.
I hear Mars and Venus finally have coed hostels.
Such an important video. I've seen this 'ask the tribe' approach in an ESFP so never understood the supposed Fi. Very well ssid
This changed my life! I'm a Gatherer, that's pretty clear, but I didn't feel the Fi as strong in me... Now that you talked about it, I think I have a hero Te as well!
I'm an ISFJ and my close friend is an ESFP. He definitely has this life tidal wave of Ni and try to figure out his life purpose.
I feel you. And I am Se Te so I need someone to tell me what to do, but nobody else knows what to tell me, so I feel like I am stuck! Ugh! I'm going crazy over here, lol. I don't like being told what to do, but I feel like someone needs to tell me what to do with my life, lol! Quiet the conundrum.
Lol don't control me but also.. like.... what should I do?
Goddamn I feel like a split between ESTP and ESFP. I'm either a TI focused ESTP or a FI ESFP. It's hard to figure out which I am lol
Yeah so important to detach from that MBTI mold that people are holding onto.
Really nice packaged vid, great differentiation of Te and Fi and emphasis on half preferencing the Te and other half the Fi. I think breaking down "the third function loop" and drilling in that its literally a thing, and not just a loop, will help break that MBTI mold.
Also when you and Shan did that comparison of Obama and I think Kali Muscle (think it was another body builder, can't remember his name) and how they were both ESTP's that was shocking to me at the time lol. Probably a bit to take in, but some idea for later. I still think you guys should do a comparison of Obama and Trump at some point.
Also, I think what would really get people engaged in your vids is even doing layer one of typing, so you would talk about a person show a short clip or two of that person and try to get the audience to objectively type just based on that one layer (ExxJ, IxxP or NT, NF, etc). You can have a survey box pop up in the upper right of the youtube vid, people will choose their answer, then a couple days later the answer will be revealed. Better yet, you could interview people like NT support did back in the day (short'ish interviews) and then break down the first 32 types of that person or something like that in a next vid.
I think in a sense, with MBTI and people typing all over the place, its good to establish a rock or foundation for people. If they are engaged with the content rather than just passively observing, it can really help them get more immersed in your content potentially. Also looking forward to a future vid, and having that gap in between creates another layer of anticipation and excitement. Additionally, it may help people realize how BAD they are at typing lol. That has pretty big implications if you ask me.
Still wish you would provide some anecdotal examples.
True, his videos are full of abstractions, which is kinda funny.
THIS IS SO ESFP’s ajahhaha we love concrete facts😂
Bahahaha, this is awesome! I love it! Also, sort of true. Makes it sound though like those that come off Se-Te are those that have a 6 fix in the Enneagram system.
The Te part was so accurate it’s something i have a hard time with it
I usually score INFP, sometimes ISFJ/ISFP on tests. And I’m quite introverted in its usual meaning. But this ESFP sounds really similar to what I often experience!
Dude I have been scoring INFP on every single test until recently i joind some group that typed me as ESFP and I started looking at ESFP videos and damn i can relate. altho i consider myself as an introvert, but ESFP's Se is not a socially extraverted function it's just that it is focused on the outside world. You can be ESFP who values Fi and that's why you are more withdrawn
Fascinating. Recent examinations of probable type- This is VERY helpful! Thank you!
Yes exactly my style- I first consult with EVERYONE before making even the slightest descision and then after taking everything into account I make my decision whivh will still be MY DECISION. I thought that was Fe
Great video. Can you make another/more video(s) about ESFPs? For me, they are the most difficult and elusive to understand and I've noticed you haven't done as many videos about this type as others. My ESFP girlfriend is extremely difficult to plan with and depend on. Very present oriented. Thanks!
I choose to run in circles. But could get dizzy, it messes up your inner ear or whatever.
Zvonko Fonko are you sure you aren't tipsy from the alcohol?
Hahahaha lol
I reaaaaally enjoy your speaking style. 😆👍👍👍
Intp fears would be nice even though you already did istp
Cassidy Marshall Yea I’d like to show it to my INTP friend.
Agree!
INTP here. Need to feel the love :'
From observing myself, I think it's basically that we're terrified of accidentally hurting people because we get so caught up in our heads and so focused on what's literally true rather than what people need to hear.
I catch myself constantly asking people, "You okay?" and prefacing statements with "Don't take this the wrong way," because I'm not aware of how others feel or what might hurt them.
This drives us to try to understand and figure out how to solve problems for people, but if people reject our advice because we're wrong or we didn't express it effectively, we overreact and either say, "Fine screw you, fix your own shit," or we dig the hole deeper by thinking harder about how to fix it.
This is by far my favorite mbti channel…
Hahahah he said “ they will abandon your stupid theories and your abstract N and all your hippie bullshit” mhumm he ain’t wrong 🤷🏼♀️
Decision paralysis is a huge problem for me ughhhh
The other day I had the realization I was saying "that's my intuition at play" and I would say it all the time... I'm there pointing at it like "Look! There it is! Look how real it is, you see it?" 🤦♂️
Love your sense of humour
Another great vid, great stuff.
hahaha, one of my good friends is esfp. I have tried talking to him about psychology, but he hates everything that comes close to human abstraction. He dislikes laws, rules, human rights and thus also psychology (theory made by human not necessarily based on clear 'natural' facts, as he sees it).
This pattern (huehuehue patern loving enfp that I am) goes so far as to that he dislikes sci-fi, while I love it. He watches mostly movies and tv-series that relate to his life, and show actual things that could happen and are. Of course some of these things are also abstract, but the general thing he likes most is clear facts.
Could you do a video on ENFP fears? I would like to see what you think is the difference between the two, as they are in my opinion pretty close, yet also in their core different.
i‘m esfp and i love psychology
@@choisanscroptop7809 me too, but I only respect the theories that I see being applicable in real life haha
I am estp and a psychology student 😁😎
Totally my ESFP Dad. Loves to watch all kinds of DYI videos by gathering information, and then formulates his own designs and theories. He hates to be controlled, and absolutely hates chaos in the family. He'd rather be happy and a great host than worry about the details of what needs to get done or how the people who clean up after him are feeling. My Dad is definitely an Se-Fi type of ESFP!
Please make more on ISFPs as well!
I'd love to understand more this "saviour function effect", like Ni for ISxJs, Te for ExFJs, Ti for IxFPs and so on.
I think unfortunately you’re right in some ways. The problem is many people of all types error when it comes to consistency and accuracy. I was typed an esfp.
So yes I have run around in circles numerous times & its because when I was younger stayed true to fi. When I became more mature in some ways, Te became my savior function. I developed my Te because several NTs have helped rely on logic. So now the problem if you use objective dara in the workplace or school where some in authority position say because they are the authority you shouldn’t question them.
So the weakness of typologists & typology in general it doesn’t take into account how thinkers can be dumb because someone in a power position like estj or maybe enfj, isfj estp can use their authority & therefore be wrong or show incompetence.
The other thing I’m somewhat of a skeptic & ask questions because I find TE is my savior because if I’m right, the information’s right there. But what if your boss is wrong? Some types would try to throw you under the bus because you question them. So if the esfp with te as a savior can be screwed when questioning certain types. Its not that we run around in circles because we do what we want. We run around in circles because we don’t feel we have to always strive to meet subjective criteria especially when it sits upon unfounded, arbitrary rules.
Thanks, Dave! Love it!
This is damn good❤️👏
FINALLY! :)
Thanks for the vid, Dave!
Dude, you are the best! I'm hoping to subscribe to the webpage and learn more this summer :)
awesome. one of the best descriptions i found.
I cannot narrow down typing myself because I see that I do everything.
I use Fi and Ti, I use Fe and Te. How do I find out, not in someone else, but what I use myself the most? What my saviour decider is?
Same problem with the observers.
What does your life (problems) revolve around ? Tribe & Self or Chaos and Order ?
Then, do you prioritize one more (T or F), or (S or N) ? If you have about equal then you may have double deciders or double observers. Then, what do you frequently ignore (demons), or what do you frequently respect (saviors) ? That's it.
Mylaur Yeah I get what he is saying in his videos but specifically with the control and order and tribe and chaos thing. I feel like I am doing both. I think everyone struggles in both areas but one more than another.
I think I am an ExxP though. Because I constantly get tired of one thing and jump to another. I get tired making plans for the future and I am undisciplined as hell. I imagine things to be more fun and fulfilling than they are when I do them finally.
I think I am self aboth tribe as well. But I use both, Ti and Fi, I dont know what I prioritize.
I'm back to thinking I could be an ESFP. As for specifics, I guess CS/P(B) FM?!?!? I consume so much, or if I have a problem, I'll go "Hey Google, what can you tell me about this?" My dad growing up would say "get to the point" a lot when I was talking about something while at the dinner table. I had been wrestling back and forth between IxxJs and ExxPs in terms of fear of change vs. don't control me. I do feel I somewhat relate to both.
I was about to give a story explaining why I think it is more the "don't control me" bit, but then I realized it was more of people story not a things story. So this is me wondering...hmm...am I still ExxP then...?
Is this still your up to date picture of ESFP fears? This is really making me think I'm Se-Te and that I'm doing the freaking tribe check right now asking this question T_T
Can I ask what is the point of calling the type esFp if they have Te over Fi?
I mean it makes sense - to differentiate from ESTP SeTi. But wouldn't it be better to drop the mbti letters all together if the Fi is lower then Te?
The thing is you can't send it to an esfp that denies her type because she'll take it as an attempt to control and restrict her. Any tips?
I'm pretty sure I'm an EXXP, but because of my personal biases I'm reluctant to be more specific, how would I most accurately tell?
I feel so unloved :(
same here, youre not alone
oh no!!! are you ESFP's?
Ha, no! I'm nowhere near cool enough to be an ESFP :p I'm Ti/Ne.
misshappynun there are times when I can act like an SeFi, but simply put, i am a _very_ lazy NiTe, at least according to mbti cognitive function tests. i type as INXP in regular mb tests tho
aw don't feel unloved. :(:( God loves you! i'm praying for you both!!!! Queen and PJ . remember its about embracing your type and loving yourself first and then improving. YOU ARE AWESOME!
1:27 bro don't call me out how did you know 😂
So does that mean, As ESFPs we can really choose between making choices base on our Te or our Fi? did I understand this correctly?
Kinda wish you just said the words that the letters stood for. Just found out I’m ESFP earlier and can tell this would be helpful. But I have no idea what you’re saying as I haven’t memorized what all of the words mean.
They have a series of videos explaining every cognitive function
Could you do this on INFP please?!???!!!
I wonder if ESFP can be jumping between Fi and Te.... depending who it concerns ( loved one or just some people- like co workers or strangers) because it sees to me the ones who decide for themselves first vs tribe (Fi) - will still prioritise the loved one ( aka the loved tribe using Te) ......
thoughts anyone?
I have no fear of authority, only baseless arrogance. When someone tries to take control through making everything about themselves. We always tend to end up in the centre of attention at some point. Either because we're being unusually quiet or decide to put a few words in. However, we value 1 on 1 talks a lot more . What annoys us is someone who talks and talks for the sake of being the centre of attention. Someone who sucks up all the thoughts of the group to elevate themselves. I try and entertain when I talk and not dwell to long on stuff. Unfortunately hanging out with idiot stoners you dont really gain an appreciation for conversation with them.
Okay but I like to be told what to do... obviously just as long as it aligns with my values..
Do you have a video on ISFP fears? I can't find one.
Could savior Te Also mean someone who gathers information and statistics and quotes several important resources, authors, influencers, citations, and so on?
Absolutely, as an ESFP I do this!
Wait, if i like to watch intresting videos and read is that ne or se?
Peacock style lol I'm stealing that
Am an intp that knows he’s a Esfp 😂
Enunciate and slow down please. I cannot understand all of your freakin words! Thanks
Wow how about having the balls to ask esfps directly insteading of copping out and watching a video because ur too scared to ask them directly. If u need this videk to put ppl in boxes so u feel safe then this probs inst the video u should b watching
1:15 😭 HEY
5:00 right bridge
on many videos like this one , ( ESFP ) you said half of population Se - Fi and the other half is Se - Te
now on what base you come with this ?
don't tell me about there is some personalities respect the first and third factions because I'm ok with this but I'm talking about the half of population like this , i want to know from where did you come with this
SNAKE IX he and his girl objectively typed thousands of people over the years and that's the data they have
Polymeth thousand? did he say that or you just you made it up
even if it's true he can't say what he said about the half population, sorry but population of what, the world ? or his city or the people who test them , i can't accept this as result but i can accept it as theory only and it's weak one
In statistics, especially in social sciences, they use the Normal Distribution bell curve, with a common assumed average of 50%. There's no way to get accurate statistics unless the whole world is forced to get typed, and the purpose of this system is not to find how common each type is, the purpose is to describe parts of human personality which apply to every individual human, regardless of how common their particular combination is.
Additionally, Dave says "half of them favour their third function" because when you go around typing people, you cannot assume any bias towards either side, otherwise you're not being objective. Saying any other percentage than 50% implies a bias, which is an unfounded claim, inaccurate, and defeats the purpose of unbiased typing. According to statistical probability, his logic is perfectly sound by saying 50%.
There is no reason to believe people must favour an extraverted function, and an introverted function. That's a faulty assumption made by Myers-Briggs. There is much more clarity to be found when allowing for double-introverts and double-extraverts.
TL;DR
Dave says "half" because it's faster than saying "we don't know how many favour their third function over their second, so never assume one way or the other", and it also happens to be accurate according to Probability Theory. :)
I like how on every video you have some kinda criticism. Not saying this is bad, just an observation.
Nikki West not every video, i think it was 3-4 videos only :D
0:55 lmao
My dad must be the se te 50% because hes really smart
You have good insights but your choice of words is wanting. Clean your language mr