What’s Wrong With Being Flat-Chested? Ft. Aiken Chia | TDK Podcast #79
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- čas přidán 16. 03. 2022
- Are dad-bods and small boobs in trend? Body insecurities, hate comments, and what it takes to be famous.
00:45 How Chrysan Lee handled hate comments
2:00 Are we surprised that she got hate comments?
2:50 How John interprets 'airport' comments
5:20 How Jade Rasif handles sexual/hate comments
6:55 How Aiken handles hate comments online
9:00 Women grow up with mums commenting on their bodies
9:20 Denise's theory on how to get small boobs
10:30 Why do humans have permanent breasts?
12:30 How to rid a clogged nipple
13:20 Are big-breasted woman made for handsome men?
14:00 Does being hungry affect your breast size preference?
15:30 Aiken growing up obese
18:15 When and why did dad bods become a thing?
20:10 Is it wrong to tell your partner they gained weight?
24:50 Jade Rasif's plastic surgery
25:15 Is it toxic positivity, fat-shaming or concern?
27:30 How to tell your partner they gained weight
27:58 How Dan used to be insecure because he was skinny
29"30 JP's moobs and hunching
30:15 Should we have our identity tied to our social media?
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Cast:
• Johnathan Chua / johnathanchua
• Daniel Lim / danlim11
• Jonathan Paul / jonathanpaul.sxw
• Denise Oh / ohthedenise
Behind the Cam:
• Nashrul Merza
• Julian Chin
• Hisyam Osman
• Daren Khek
• Charlene Goh
Edited by:
Sherlene Lau - Zábava
think yall need to bring aiken back, he keeps yall on topic
i havent watch but 'liked' comment because i am confident in aiken
@@ifiwashere knn then you’re like them as well
Is Aiken going to be a permanent guest?
Does Aiken have his own podcast? I'd subscribe to it.
But many women have their bodies change after pregnancy which are out of their control (e.g. stretch marks, loose skin, cellulite, slower metabolism)... Would it be right for their husbands to devalue them after so much sacrifice to bring a child into this world? And this is assuming they maintain a healthy diet and exercise after childbirth... On top of that, I think it's undeniable that body standards are way harsher on women as a result of social media.
On the comment of how women shouldn't be on platforms if they cannot take the hate, I have to disagree with that. While it is true that women should have realistic expectations of how people can be mean and vile on the internet, I don't think it excuses such behaviour and that people who are victims are such comments should not speak up about it. I think the solution shouldn't be women shying away from showing their bodies to avoid such hate, but rather to call out the ones showing such hate in the first place. Because in a sense, this is a form of victim blaming.
All in all, interesting episode but I think we need more women's voices on the podcast when it comes to topics like these.
i agree, and i especially agree with aiken's comment about how social media, tiktok *especially*, has normalised being unnecessarily mean just to get the most reactions/likes. i would have definitely preferred if this episode's conversation was more about the increasingly toxic internet culture bolstered by the benefit of anonymity that kids/genZ are growing up with and what we can do to fix it, rather than "if you put yourself out there, you should be prepared for hate comments". it's like "if you become a celebrity, you should be prepared to have your privacy invaded/be followed around by paparazzi". why aren't we calling out the behaviour of the people doing the harm, but focusing on what the victims can do to protect themselves from that harm instead? :(
the harsh reality of life is that women are valued for their youth and beauty whereas men are valued for their ability to provide.
Agree with the "if you cannot take the hate, don't be out there..." This is another example of " if you don't want sexual assault, don't wear short skirt.... " Victim blaming for sure!
It all boils down to the motive, which is hidden. Not so much of the nature of question or what's being asked. E.g If u ask your wife to start exercising with a good intention of wanting her lead a healthy lifestyle - that's a form of love for her, which is fine. But if u ask your wife to exercise to "look better", more pleasing to your lustful eyes - that's just you being selfish and wanting her to look good so that YOU can feel better about having a sexy wife.
Yeah this whole podcast just frustrated me as a whole because they barely talked about the influencer and women in general facing more body shaming than men. Also what was that whole theory about why humans have permanent breasts??? Where did the guy read that off of?? Reddit ah? They really should remind themselves to constantly stay on track. The part where that guy said "cater to males" really bothered me especially because I felt like it reveals what he thinks of this issue deep down and he's not the best candidate to talk about this issue. The two men going on and on about their theories were completely sidetracked and just frustrating to listen to. Aiken did a good job by pointing out great points such as women facing more body related comments than guys on the platform. I hope they read the comments and educate themselves on how "wisdom" from other people and from oneself does not consist of bodyshaming and being silent in order to avoid hate.
Most people in general would be more attracted to bigger breasts, no doubt about that, however this doesn't justify hate comments (be it online or irl) towards women who don't fit the beauty standard. Notice how many people aren't even surprised that the hate comments are from men? (even primary school kids! Wtf?). Word of advice: keep your mouth shut if you have nothing nice/helpful to say. If you wish to share "wisdom" such as advising someone to lose some weight in order to take care of their health, tell them you care about their health. Emphasize on health. Not on how "men won't like you". End of story.
There is no excuse for any hate comment. It shouldn’t be the responsibility of the victim to avoid the platform just so they won’t be bullied. I don’t agree with the argument of “if you can’t take it, then don’t be there”. It is totally within each individual’s control to be a decent human being and not to throw hate on someone else behind the anonymity of an online profile. No excuse even if they are kids cos we should teach our children better.
Agree 10000%
That's what i thought
Agreed. This is just another version of "don't wear short skirts if you don't wanna get raped"
Aiken is an awesome addition to the crew👍🏼
The past few episodes have been a campaign to get Ben Kheng on the show. And I am all for it 💯
Petition to have more female guests and voices in topics that warrant a more rounded perspective rather than imbue it with male gazes and male perspectives because as direct as it may sound, most men have zero idea the beauty and social stigma womxn have to deal with and live with.
Rather jarring having to hear the general discourse regarding this topic.
This comment right here
Honestly enjoying the eps with aiken on the show!!
This podcast is so refreshing. This conversation really took an unexpected turn bringing up unpopular views that I'm too afraid to speak about in general lolol
3:36 "If can't handle hate comments, don't be there" - this is just sweeping the problem under the rug, a form of escapism .
Having said that, context is everything. If you sexualize yourself, what do you expect to hear in return? Surely nothing very decent.
Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.
How to tell a believable bro story, start with "There's a study" ...
If you’re gonna talk about such topics that affect women maybe you should bring in an actual guest that this affects. So frustrated with some of the opinions stated here
Gosh i really love aiken to be part of this group im actually really enjoy discussions with aiken!
not fully done with the video, but would like to add that there's also this perception that guys are more thick skinned and therefore it is okay or more acceptable to shame guys for their appearance/body/looks, and I've seen post where girls in the comments will actually support the act of shaming...kind of a double standard if you ask me.
tbh the only thing i dislike about mosg vids is that they are too short lmao
love all your podcast!!
Lol so nice for the guys to harmoniously say noooo laaaaa to Denise when she was calling herself fat.
When guys are overly protective hehe...
we're built like that xD
No I think this is a serious issue. People keep calling themselves as ugly and fat because of the toxicity on TikTok and IG. If someone as supposedly mature and level-headed as Denise can call herself ‘fat’, it just means that our society loves to fat shame and makes everyone overly conscious of the way they look. I used to feel a lot more conscious about my size as well, but after losing 15 kg or so for health reasons, I feel that people are just too obsessed with how people look, simply because they always make comments on your size, so much more than the awesome work you do, or the nice personality you have.
Whenever i see the daily ketchup post i will always be early,I just love the positive energy and appreciate the amount of research that goes into every video.Hope you guys get to prosper and grow your channel!!
isn't it victim-blaming if people are to avoid the social media platform if they don't want to get offensive comments?
Victim-blaming is more of saying that it's the victim's own fault they got hurt or that they deserved it. With what they mentioned in this video, they meant that every user these days should already know the risks involved and brace themselves when putting themselves out there on social media.
If you cross a street blindly and get hit by a car, you'll get hurt. I'm not saying it's your fault that the driver hit you, but you should have been prepared and looked both ways.
I personally feel that what Jonathan Paul said in 3:37 min is a little ignorant because with that he's basically normalising those comments made upon that video and for him to say "if you can't handle the nature of hate comments on a particular platform then don't put yourself out there" is way too selfish. I personally don't think that's a good piece of advice to be shared because he was indirectly saying that it's okay to leave harsh comments like that and if you can't handle people commenting stuff like that on your page then you shouldn't put it up in the first place. THAT'S A VERY WRONG WAY OF THINKING RIGHT THERE.....
Thanks for calling out his flawed thinking. Little did he know his thinking helps perpetuate more hate/toxic comments. All it takes for evil to thrive is for good man to stay silent and do nothing.
While I understand the way you feel about his mindset, I would like know more about what you think is a good alternative.
If we want to 'protect' everyone's feelings on social media, would that mean censoring all negative comments?
Who gets to decide what's considered "too far", and where would they draw the line?
@@jarrenleow A good alternative is to follow one cardinal rule: "If you have nothing good to say, shut the fuck up". That is the clearest line.
well instead of an alternative, something to note is that if the same person says “u gotta expect so so and so if ure on that platform” u mst then likewise be accepting to the parallels of “women should expect to be raped if they dress revealingly”
i totally agree w you lmao. this jon paul damn irrelevant sia . it's like saying i can send him hate comments just cause he put himself on this platform lmao what even.
9:53 "Do I wanna love myself or do I wanna love chicken" maam you are i c o n i c
Love your podcast. Is it possible to have Aiken a regular?
Aiken ep 3 pls
usually don't comment but need my dosage of aiken on shows! 2nd time watching this podcast bcos of him
Oxytocin is a hormone, not an enzyme 😆
Waiting for Xiaxue to get on the show
No
Love having aiken on the show!
Frankly, the suggestions given at the end are really good, maybe this adaptation might make it good:
- All social media accounts should have real names tagged to it
- Only verified accounts are allowed to comment on videos (to reduce hate comments)
- While anonymous accounts can still be used for creating content to whistleblow whatever
“Only verified accounts”, more like eliminating any form of criticism.
this podcast channel is so good!!!
Wow bonus aikan ep! 👍
Chrysan took a page right out of Promising Young Woman (great film) and I'm all for it.
Guys please don't run away from the topic so much. Aiyoooooo
more aiken!!! what a nice surprise thank you Jesus for this gift that keeps on giving 🥰
Thanks for all the entertainment,guys .
Wished they stayed on topic regarding flat chest
Denise is so underrated
“This was not in the brief of…” 😂😂😂💯💯💯 love it
The irony is that Facebook broke through the hold of myspace and other platforms like friendster because they did not allow anonymous accounts. In the early days of Facebook, you had to register using your university account and thus there was a very high sense of accountability and identity.
lol this episode's topic sounds like something a few friends would talk about when they're high af
More Aiken please
For all people are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of the Lord endures forever.
Aiken for permanent spot!
Interesting topic for commentary, and a really well produced video too, with interesting viewpoints brought up along the way.
Just wanted to leave a comment on what I felt was an underdiscussed segment which was a little disappointing would be the supposed folk wisdom that if “you can’t handle people harassing you on the internet then just don’t put yourself out there” mentality-would we then extend that same mentality to “if your account gets hacked-that’s your fault for not having a password that’s strong enough”? Or “that would be your fault since you decided to make an account on the internet? (I believe another comment highlights a great example on cybersecurity for this too) While there is a degree of merit to acknowledging how folk wisdom would have been relevant in older times-perhaps it is wise to also consider that as a society we are also capable of at least striving towards a digital social environment that does not condone or tolerate such behaviors as an ideal, even if it is not always 100% realized. When we do not think that it is our responsibility to contribute to the construction of such an online space, then the content, environment, and circumstances will always permit the tolerance and widespread acceptance of harassment online.
Just because things have always been a certain way, doesn’t mean we have to accept it as so. In the same vein of how public opinion on crucial issues like toxic masculinity/mental health (which I’m super glad to see-they have also been great topics that this channel has discussed) have gradually developed over time to strive for a more inclusive, healthier, and safer environment for all, I think that the same can be extended for the idea of wanting a safer online space for our content creators. Given the influence that this channel has, it would have been great if this was brought up as well. Of course-the root idea is always that if we avoid this issue of a toxic online space entirely, we would not have to deal with the problem, but avoidance will never be a solution for fundamental issues like toxic mindsets and permitting behaviors of harassment, and I just thought that it would have been great if some light was shed on that.
Anyhow, I still look forward to future stuff that this local channel will put out in the future-and cheers!
Your analogies are flawed. If you put yourself up on LinkedIn to discuss professional matters, sexual comments should be strictly prohibited. However if you're sexualizing yourself on tiktok by wearing revealing clothes and whatnot, expect positive comments on your appearance (eg. 'HOT' ) but also negative ones. It's also true that 'sexualizing yourself' is very subjective but the posters shouldn't be so naive on the internet. The 'hacked account' analogy is an oversimplified one, but if you have a password that is literally 'Password', yes that is your fault, but it's also the fault of the admin for accepting those passwords.
I just don't understand about her issue...
Like if they don't know you personally, just don't take it personal.
it's that simple -.-
@@itzSoonz and if they know her personally? is she supposed to take these seemingly "jokes" seriously? and if she's hurt by these comments? she don't have the rights to defend herself? it's a very simple logic to understand, not sure what you can't get. goes both ways for bullying comments to men or women, they have the rights to stand up for themselves and say "hey i don't like this", it's perfectly okay and normal
If the men who harrass the lady have the freedom of speech to do so, then all the more the lady would also have the freedom of speech to shoot them back. Bravo to her for speaking out for herself!
@@waynetr Yeah. I think the analogy of website and password fits. In your analogy we should be blaming the user for having a simple password and asking for it, as opposed to punishing the individual that tried to hack the account. Same goes to telling a woman that she shouldn't dress provocatively so she will not get raped. Sure, more could have been done to protect the individual but we should be punishing the perpetrator of the crime and not the victim. Not sure why that is a difficult logic to comprehend.
When can Ben Kheng come on the show?
Appreciate John and Aiken for staying so classy throughout this convo.
More Aiken!
I miss Aiken on CZcams. 🤗
is it possible to make a podcast about self-worth and love?
aiken shld join yall permanently
moreeeee aiken plsssssss
It's true! My parents are tough on me when i gained weight (even tough i've always been skinny and merely gained a few kgs), my relatives like to grab our arms, and smack our bums exclaiming "wah so skinny ah!" like it should be valued. Everything was so wrong. Now i served it right back piping hot.
john sipping wine in that cup since day 1
I think those guys are honest to their true feelings and perceptions. As a curvy women, flat-chested women are one of the most aggressive. They're rude to me. But think again, if men don't tease them like that, they wouldn't keep holding grudge, maybe I can live more peacefully?
Been eye opening to have a listen to many differing opinions on things on this show. But the part about men placing expectations on women that they should stay in shape to stay attractive to them just doesn’t do it for me. To think we’re more “left-wing” so to speak.
I learnt so much unexpected info
9:30 JP already too comfortable using phone on show HAHAHA
He’s searching topics related to breast theories
Do a chat about Singapore approach to address GST hike.
aiken should stayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Urm... just gotta agree with Aiken.. the topic is way out of tangent. the 3 folks sitting together is very bad... it's very obvious that they do objectify bodies but they're trying hard to hide it...
oh but denise is kinda relatable, when i was younger, i hit puberty earlier than most of my peers and I had to hide my chest from other people because i wanted to fit in and also because i was also afraid that guys would also look at me. so now when someone calls me flat chested ( because i kinda binded my chest when i was younger) it becomes a compliment lol
2022 and people are still body shaming. body shaming is in the past, its 2022, wake up bullies.
tbh dad bods are cute af, personally i also feel dating someone (even women) with a very toned body would be quite stressful cus i would feel like i need to be as toned as them in order to be compatible(?) with them? idk maybe its an inferior complex but on my end
That’s just self esteem issues
Bold Topic by Daily Ketchup team 😂
Why did no one brought up the Xia Xue saga with plus size model? She had such good points I feel should be brought up in this episode
" Flat is Justice ! " - Konata ( Lucky Star )
E question keep playing on my mind is, “Are you really 23 Denise?,”
Basically ✨ misogyny ✨ lah
Also!
What is aiken own new channel?????
Cmon we need the subs to catch the inside jokes 😭
Truth to be told those jokes are funny but that doesn’t meant it aren’t hurtful.
If health was a priority, you are not spending $600 for a health check-up to get someone to lose weight. You're spending to get a better understanding of your current health and gaps. If that seems strange or funny, then the fact is it is not concern for health that are the focus when you give your family or friends advice or comments about their weight. Its your fat phobia and trauma showing. It might be more helpful and constructive for everyone to take a step back to reflect on this trauma response. There are many great ways to share how you're concerned about them with regard to their health. Just pointing out weight fluctuations, weight increases or complimenting them for weight loss isn't necessarily helpful. People need to love themselves enough and value their lives enough to make good choices for their wellbeing and health. People should be valued for who they are beyond how they look. I don't see why its an issue to challenge ourselves to be more mindful of the traumas other experience, curious even of others situations and challenges. Won't that be a more fruitful conversation than "you've gained weight already". People already know it when they do.
exactly, we subconsciously project our own insecurities to others...
algo
For me is about double standard. Like women can't control how their body look always. Same for men. Like there are many comments about men that have small dick is less of a man. Women laugh at these men. but These very same women also complains about men judging their body.
In my case, how you judge others, you deserve to be judge the same, regardless of gender. Same for men and women.
Algo!
DID YOU RECRUIT AIKEN? :DDD
Aiken joined Chain Debrief as Master Educator?
Tough club…aka walk and talk
4:46 unpopular opinion here: that's like saying instead of protecting your cyberspace, how about people just don't hack? Instead of educating the public about scams, why don't scammers just don't scam? Of course we know which side is justified and which is not, but it's also basic to understand and accept the world isn't going to be nice and you will still need measures to protect yourself. Blaming female for what they wear when they get molested is like blaming companies for having weak security measures when they undergo a cyberattack.
6:28 how is that different from the Carousell incident for the guy asking the rude boy to call him "daddy"?
You seem to be making 2 contradicting points in your 1st paragraph. You said people should understand the world and use measures to protect themselves, but in your last line you said asking girls to dress more conservatively is considered 'blaming'.
So what's your actual opinion? Is wearing more not considered a way of 'protecting' oneself?
AIKENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Imagine content creators buy or either make these accounts to comment harsh words on their videos to get more publicity.( idk just a random thought? ) (might not be in this case of this video)
I mean like, if they did, it worked, cause you guys are commenting about this issue on your channel.
What did I just watch 🤣
wah lao i flat chested for so long, i used to all the snide comments. hahaha. before they say it I will say it myself. flat then flat la
Chiseld men like sleeping on a surfboard, hard and uncomfortable. Men with extra weight cuddles are the best and like sleeping on a soft comfortable mattress.
Who has impermanent breast? - quote of the podcast...
algooo
Morris suggests that breasts evolved as a sex symbol to replace the swelling rear end of other female primates during ovulation. (Business Insider, 2015)
If you a girl with flat-chested, you could consider be an athlete. You always been beautiful as you are, it just you have been in wrong place to show it.
It's absolutely funny how people attack this girl for her flat chest It's immature this is wrong and messed up these haters have the nerve to be disrespecting this girl on tiktok It's not even funny anymore the amount of immaturity and disrespect that gets on tiktok is messed up and wrong i don't get what's so funny about degrading a girl on tiktok of her flat chest it's messed up and wrong what is wrong with those haters don't they have anything else to do besides attack that girl on tiktok over her flat chest it's messed up how these haters have the audacity to bully and degrade and have the nerve to disrespect her on top of it it's immature and wrong
Algo
Am i the only one who thinks ben kheng looks ok only? No offence to ben kheng, u look handsome to most.
If you are looking to talk about education in sg or school experiences, I can be a guest. I’m a primary sch teacher for about 15 years, since 03/04 I think. Can talk about removing mid year exams, change in psle scoring etc.
????????
Who is Jade?
Jade Rasif
@@Deedee-gc9dz thanks!!!
WTH Aiken so handsome here!
Jr
Flat chested does not matter as some man would rather go for flat chested girls over the larger boobs as they are less likely to suffocate in the event of a body slam. (just kiddin). But these are all personal preference. Is it a fact that a girl is flat chested or have large boobs? No. I hope the girl does not take it personally as there's nothing insulting about either its just a different shape and different form of beauty. Just ignore the haters as they are everywhere nitpicking, not just about boobs.
The bottom line is, everybody has their own kinks, its just society just built this perception that an acceptable and desirable woman should have natural good sized boobs, and this is just a surface level argument as there are also factions between if natural boobs or fake boobs makes a woman beautiful
18:12 got money can already la, don’t need what 6 pack, what dad bod
you can't body shame flat chested women, short men however,
Oof 😂😂
This episode made me brought up the whole losing weight to my gf. Sorry, ex gf now. Still love the show tho.
As a fat kid growing up, I learn to make fun of it and make self jokes to get the “jokers” off my back. I understand influencers have it thousand-folds but silly juvenile jokes merely reflect their mentality and not you. So don’t read comments if you can.
Just be fat at the star of the relationship