I have CPTSD and every relationship I've ever had, family, friends, partners, just end silently one day. I stopped texting people and calling them. Stopped sharing events and photos on FB. It was a silent escape from reality. Before I even realized it, I was alone. Nobody will wait for you to catch up, they have to move forward with their own lives. I don't blame them for leaving me behind, I never reached out for help. I didn't consciously push them away either. It just happened. I just drift through the days, months, years. Sometimes I "wake up" and realize how much time has passed and I have a panic attack. To me, it's still 2010, back when my world still had color. I can't chronologically remember events that have happened in my life. The pieces of my mind are so broken down that all that's left is sand. Right now, I'm trying to figure out how to move forward. Even sand can polish a stone eventually.
The most important relationship is the one with yourself. You haven't given up yourself, which is amazing! Be a good friend to yourself, when you can. Others will follow. One step at a time. :)
*hugs* it looks and feels different for each of us, but maybe not as different as we always think. You’re not alone and healing is possible ❤ it’s a process, but you deserve it
This hit home. Don’t lose hope, I can say from my own experience that you won’t believe what a beautiful person is buried underneath all this trauma. It’s worth the wait and the fight 🤍
The human psyche is so complex, yet our basic needs are quite simple. If every child received the right guidance balanced with love and understanding, there would be very few emotionally damaged adults. It's a sad fact of modern life that there are so many of us.
All my traumies (my freinds for living in recovery too-many have lost their diagnosis and help others professionally) all have cats!.. 2 of them have cats that are related(which was revealed months after meeting via conversation about the cats)....cats are magically connected to the 'unseen' personally i prefer frogs and all the meaning and myth that goes with them🤔😆
I was diagnosed in 1995 at 9 w/ adhd. Not a single mental health professional asked me about home. They also didn’t ask about my physical health. If they had they would have found that I was in a home that was run by a physically ill mother who had BPD & NPD. That my dad was a low IQ but highly skilled blue collar worker who was an abuse victim. They would have found out that while no one hit me there was unending instability. We were homeless at one point, my dad was the only income but my mother’s mental instability cost him several good jobs. They would have found out that I was never sure when the next days long screaming abusive fits would happen from my mother. They would have found out that I was responsible for my mother’s emotional stability as I got older. They would have found out that I was physically very sick as well, that I had Ehlers Danlos Syndrome which is why I was in constant motion. I was in pain. I was distracted and disassociated because I was hyper vigilant to my mother’s every emotional and physical need. But no one asked. ADHD was an easier label. Trauma, abuse, noe of those things were looked in to. I’m not ADHD but instead a survivor of child abuse and adult child abuse (abuse doesn’t just stop because you hit 18). This is such important info to get out to people.
Yep. One needs to Understand that the medical/Pharma industry is built upon what’s profitable and healing people doesn’t fit into that. Without the label ADHD they wouldn’t be able to sell you their meds, that only mask symptoms and cause more problems in the long run.
What a beautiful brave person you are! You're not just a survivor you're an overcomer! Your story reminds me of the song "Luca". Jesus loves you @mickerzmouse! He loves the real you and the you that non one else saw! He loves the you, that you don't know yet! Why? Because He created you! And He made you beautiful, in His image! Ask Him to show you who you are! Ask Him to show you His love for you, and He will show you, His arms spread wide apart, crucified on the cross. Your salvation! Your Value! Your life, bought with His blood on the cross! Reach out to Him today. He will heal your heart just like He did mine. You're worth it! He knows you by name! And He told me to tell you that you're precious in His sight! ❤
It is tragic and criminal that others who were in a ‘caregiver role/occupation’ would not ask! I can be encouraged that there are those who are gaining knowledge about trauma-more practitioners.
I have CPTSD from childhood. I'm 53 years old and feel like I'm finally understanding myself. I haven't felt at home anywhere on this planet. It's terrible to feel the loneliness of avoiding social interactions in effort to protect myself from emotional pain. I have to find courage to let myself be known.
This is the struggle I think I identify the most with. My friends got me through life until my late 20s; I left home and isolated and I haven’t been the same since. I’ve also had a tremendous amount of trauma in my life, both before leaving and since moving home. Things right now are the worst they’ve ever been and I do not know what to do.
@@shopmerakiboutik I feel you. And when reading the initial comment I thought of my mother, who I think probably feels that way but it's under so many layers of dysfunctional coping mechanisms that she doesn't even realize. This is going to be my second christmas without my immediate family, because I had to save myself and remove them from my life. I am materially at my worst point, but mentally not, despite the extremely painful separation of my family. I have begged my brother to come visit me with his kids, but he actually refuses to do so, because he is in this toxic mode of thinking he'd admit to being wrong by coming to visit me. I was mentally at my lowest a couple of years ago and then finally went to a clinic after not being able to find a therapist after years of searching and waiting. My stay there really turned things around, though I hadn't actually gotten to the core of my issues, but a few layers above. One key realization that has significantly improved my quality of life was to finally recognize that I inherently have value, regardless of achievements or lack there of. But after returning back to life, my family immediately started to bring me down again and it took me a while to realize. I was obsessed with not blaming others for how I felt, that I didn't realize the routine overstepping of boundaries and the routine toxic behavior. When I then finally addressed just one thing it immediately got turned around on me and how I should take responsibility for myself - ironically that was exactly what I was doing by confronting their abusive behavior. Sorry, I got carried away a bit there, but I hope it helps you see that you are not alone. You are obviously already on the path of healing, otherwise you wouldn't watch and engage with such a video. That takes strength and courage and I hope that you are proud of yourself. The path of healing is not straightforward and not easy, but it is worth it.
I'm 54. My parents divorced when I was 5. My father was abusive to Mom, used to hit her. When I was about 12 my mother got schizophrenia. I never felt safe as a child or adolescent. And now I am happy that more and more attention is brought to mental health.
I grew up in an insane chaotic environment with my codependent, domestic abusive parents, and we moved around schools like almost every single year and the overstimulation was insane. It could be way worse but it could be better. I grew up, feeling really anxious, really depressed and I could not even graduate high school. At this point, I still struggle with the same exact mental problems. Getting this information and education is so important because I believe recognition is some of the first steps and healing.
My situation wasn't as bad. I wish I could make you a cup of hot chocolate, a sandwich and give you a hug. God bless, comfort, protect, heal and watch over you.
I was misdiagnosed for 20 years with Schizoaffective disorder. I was trapped in Fight mode response for that whole time. It was only when my insurance changed & I got a new psychologist & psychiatrist that I was diagnosed with CPTSD. That was a few years ago. I'm still in treatment. I've only now just learned what it actually means to feel safe & calm in my body. I've grasped but certainly not mastered emotional regulation & now I'm working on my self esteem & toxic shame. Thanks to books like those listed. I'm healing.
For me recovery is lifelong one day at a time but the days are getting better as i get older and i love who i am becoming....i wish u every self compassionate thing i wish for myself 💖each persons transformation aids the transformation of the world
I have CPTSD, it feels messy and volatile and I can see how it might be misdiagnosed. especially with comorbidities. I really like your page. thanks for making this thoughtful stuff
THANK YOU - 53 years old yesterday - at least 52 of those living with CPTSD. You have to be very strong to purposefully be able to counteract the entrenched patterns of behavior. Patterns resulting from the prolonged exposure to the conflict driven chaos of early life. Chaos often not recognized, merely accepted as normal by the youngest of minds unable to compare, to differentiate or to remove themselves from the flow of dysfunction. THANK YOU - P.S I have 4 cats - they seem to know for some reason
Thanks llama-which I am sue you do not look like, odd creatures, I don’t think I’ve seen one in real life, only on TV, kinda similar to a camel. Anyway thank you very much!@@Amanita._.Verosa._.
Well, an upside to hyper-vigilance is your writing style. Super articulate, super condensed, basically super! I was so blown away that I took a screenshot of your comment, so during moments of overindulgence in my writing, I can remember how good you are, as a counterbalance. By the way, just so you know I’m 100% sincere, you’ve inspired me to write my first comment ever on CZcams. This is it 😃
You know, sometimes I get the feeling I am adrift in a sea of bots, AI and non-biological entity’s. So, I am glad that you have found inspiration and motivation. Let’s find a path to use tech, instead of being used by it!@@user-kf2og9gv2r
Frank Anderson's book (Trauma blocks love and love heals trauma) ❤ I read 10 books on IFS. Also did many sessions with an IFS Practitioner. CPTSD is sadly not recognised well. I was initially misdiagnosed with bipolar. Not a single mental health professional asked me about my childhood. Often people are misdiagnosed with EUPD/Borderline or Bipolar. Modern psychiatry needs a wake up call ! Peter Walker's book: highly recommend it ! The Body Keeps the Score: amazing book that led me to IFS. Gabor Mate: huge fan. I really liked his movie: The Wisdom of Trauma. Now I work in mental health and help others to learn: how to love themselves and recover ❤
This hit a nerve. I started crying. I have lived like this my whole life. You nailed it! Not many people understand. They just don't. Why I isolate and distance myself from people.. it's lonely. 💜 thank you for this video . Putting things in prospective. Thank you.
I have CPTSD from childhood and then surviving an incurable chronic illness that has almost killed me three times now. I'm so tired. Thank you for your videos. They validate what I went through, how far I've come and what a badass I've been from the day I was born. But I'm so very tired now.
I’ve been working through my trauma with a therapist, and I definitely show signs of CPTSD from living with my abusive/N mother. It’s a lot different from ptsd in that the flashbacks are emotional and vague and very much connected to ongoing experiences rather than a singular event. Sometimes, it feels like a flashback is summoning all the life experiences tied to that emotion at once, and it can get overwhelming. That also makes it harder to heal because one emotion is tied to so many different experiences. But EMDR is helping me (it’s not for everyone, but it works well for me).
I'm glad it's helping you! Is there no creative solution to live away from your Mom? Sometimes there's opportunities to stay in the spare room at the house of an elderly person just so someone is there at night. In the past, I posted on Craigslist housing wanted and told my story and was willing to help with minor chores to safely be out of the house. As I don't use drugs or drink and stressed strongly I refused to get involved on a personal level people were open to having help. Of course there's worse situations but you have to check out places and the people and not be afraid to ask them for reference also.. Back in the early 2000's I lived in the house of a retired man in St Pete who was a very good person! He just wanted someone to clean. And I could do what I wanted with my time and go to work. Later I lived in the house of a man in Hudson's home. Same thing, just be quiet and keep the place clean. With each place I discussed boundaries and promised not to be a problem I'm any way.
Thank you so much for spreading awareness, I've learned so much about myself and other people through your videos. I'm currently nearly 2 years into healing from my own CPTSD and I can't believe how far I've come. I used to be stuck in an endless cycle of depression, anxiety and loneliness. I never thought anything would get better. Now, I've become a completely different person and I finally have confidence in myself and the urge to pursue my goals and connect with people. Becoming aware is so important to break this cycle, because it usually comes from generational trauma. Everyone who suffers through this deserves so much more. Give yourselves the love and acceptance you and your inner children deserve. It will make such a difference and bring you into a much more fulfilling life. I still can't believe how far I've come. We've all got this 🙏
@@Darima2 Cognitive behavioral therapy has helped me lots. It's basically reframing negative, shame-based thoughts into more positive ones. Meditation helps me reflect too. It's a good way to relieve anxiety and it can help to reconnect with the present moment. I don't go to therapy personally but I watch a lot of therapy videos to stay consistent and open minded. Whenever any triggers come up for me and I'm overloaded with emotions I make sure to go somewhere quiet to release them. Whether it's crying or anger I'll sit with it and let it pass. I also question where those emotions come from. It's always bad childhood memories for me. Especially feeling rejected, unheard and dismissed by other people. The key thing is having compassion for yourself and being understanding. Also not blaming yourself for what happened in the past, because it's completely out of your control. Inner child healing is so real and it's the best way to reconnect with yourself. So if any big emotions come up, let your inner child be heard and give them the love they deserve. Letting yourself grieve, giving yourself a hug and doing self care is the best way to get it back. I hope this helps^^
Thank you so much for posting these shorts! It was through one of your shorts that I realised the cause of my seemingly uncontrollable behaviours after my daughter was born. I'm a qualified counsellor in Australia but I'd never heard of the things you cover here! Since finding your channel I've been educating myself more, self counselling and talking to my husband to work through it. My anger has already stopped controlling me and even though it's hard you can literally see the changes! Thank you so much 🙏❤
I was beeing terrible abused by my ex husband he left me locked home i broke everything. Call the police told a different history and they tooked me to an hospital where a psychiatric diagnosed me as bipolar and bordeline. No one cared about what i said. He locked me as an animal inside the house when the only thing i wanted was to leave that hell. Im divorced now and no signs of neither the bipolar neither the bordeline. I just cant stand toxic people arround. Every toxic people on my life i cutted contact. Its real. Cptsd is beeing missinterpreted everywhere
I understand you. I just got locked out. All my stuff and my dog with him and his nasty friends unside, telling the worst fixtional stories about me everywhere. When I let Police call him, he got about 3 boxes with random stuff to a garage down the street where I were allowed to make an appointment to fetch them. I didn't get my stuff. I didn't get my dog. I only got per appointment what those rude people wanted to hand out in "mystery-boxes'. You can imagine how much rubbush I got in there... He has stolen all m worthier things and lied to all people and also on police about me... I weren't able to afford an advocat and not beeing merried to him gave me my freedom but also no rights to get my stuff by court... But what really broke me was the acting of the statern institutions and health care. They should have helped me, let me get my rights - they didn't. I didn't want much, just the minimum... I only got much of anger and depts out of nowhere. They really broke me and I hate that they got me broken.
I have CPTSD, and I really appreciate your channel. It wasn't until I got to a stable place that it really started hitting hard. It's very debilitating for me as I have lots of trauma around kitchens, cooking, and cleaning/doing chores. So, while I have the skills and know how, being in kitchens, thinking about what to eat or considering making or heating up food, and needing to clean are all very triggering for me, causing me to shut down from the overwhelming flashbacks. As these are things that are necessary for everyday life, I find myself needing to rely heavily on people around me. It makes me feel like I'm a burden and very broken. It can cause me to self isolate a lot because it's hard to articulate why I'm hurting today. Just that I do. It can be VERY hard just trying to exist around other people that just don't get it and don't understand the depths and weight of what I'm always managing and just how much work I've put into it. Just that it can be slightly inconvenient to them. I'm really lucky for the support and kindness I get from my coworkers. They don't totally get it, but they are genuinely compassionate and inclusive. And other than my spouse, I have never felt so supported, cared about, or safely seen prior to them. It's been helping me a lot in my healing process. Also, seeing a therapist who specializes in ptsd has been so much better for me than generalized therapists.
As a counselor, it is not infrequent that I work with clients who have diagnosed themselves with adhd or autism via tiktok and are adamant that they just need meds while clinging to learned helplessness and refusing to acknowledge or address their deeply traumatic childhood. Thank you for the important work you are doing in helping to educate folks and instill greater hope for recovery and thriving
I hate to see people start doing meds. I was on Ritalin from age 6-16. My older brother also and he takes antidepressants and antianxiety meds. But he's still not right. I hope you're able to help people without meds.
there's a heavy bias towards those diagnoses in psychiatry as well. Personally I don't believe adhd and autism is real. And I tried the meds. Now I'm scarred for life.
@@TheDavveponkenas someone who is both Autistic and has ADHD it is very real. Sometimes it's easier to say it's not Autism and say it's a mental health condition because it is possible to overcome mental ill health. You can't overcome Autism and some people don't want to hear that - they want to fix the "problem" because of internalised abelism. It can be difficult to face up to being Autistic as there are so many negative stereotypes around it. Just because ADHD medication didn't work for you doesn't mean it was an incorrect diagnosis, it could just mean they didn't work for you (they don't work for everyone). There is a lot of overlap between the ADHD/Autism and PTSD. Many, if not all, Autistic and ADHD people have experienced trauma. Where does one begin and end? I could probably tick enough boxes for CPTSD and maybe I could tell myself it's that and believe I can overcome it but I can't because it's not CPTSD, in my case it's Autism. However I would not stop someone else from getting help who does have CPTSD. But Autism and ADHD is the right diagnosis for others and we shouldn't feel we have to cure ourselves.
Join ACA attend their limerick cptsd meetings etc u will heal🙏youll come out of isolation and learn to lovingly reparent urself...i did it, u can too 🙏💖🕊🐢one day at a time
I second that suggestion-fellow traveler here. That program helped me understand and identify CPTSD and gave the support I needed to find healing. It’s an awesome program.
I just need to take a minute to thank you for your very unique approach to your content and in conveying your messages.. Sensitive, insightful, informative, support... All in the matter of about two minutes at a time. Very clever but VERY life changing. God bless you. Please keep ''em coming.
I have a sra background and have been working through my trauma for over 30 years. I've been sexual abused, physical abused, neglected, have a nasatistic mother. I struggle with alcohol addiction but have overcome so much and am really proud of how far I've come. But I know I still have a lot of healing to do but I so want to be well and the best person I can be. Love to you all never give up on yourself 💕
I was misdiagnosed with bipolar as a teenager. I believe it was cptsd from a very traumatic childhood growing up with toxic parents.. now my parents always use that diagnosis against me 😢
I have C-PTSD. Grew up in chaotic household, filled with lot of shouting, shame an blame. Then living in anxiety, panic attacks, and more. Now i am healing. Now finally i am understanding the ways i have been responding to outer world. Thank you for your videos and resources.
So cool your support kitty came by to be with you.On the outside so composed but on the inside needing what your cat knew you needed. Is it any wonder animals know us so well.
I had a long standing misdiagnosis of borderline personality disorder, and it led to more trauma due to the adults around me insisting that I "was the problem" and "needed to be on meds". Finally, at age 45, I've been correctly diagnosed with c-PTSD and have spent the past four years working through a lot of trauma. I'm in a healthy and loving relationship with a great man, and it looks like things have started working for the best. It can take DECADES to get healthy and heal, and a lot of people fail to mention that. Healing from an entire lifetime of abuse isn't easy or quick, but it can happen.
mental health issues are just nutrition deficincies, 92 percent of the population doesnt even know about nutrition deficiencies. its on purpose so the heathcare industry can make billions and cure nothing and keep you sick. a preservitive free myers cocktail iv and preservitive free d3 injjection or iv will cure almost all health issues in about a week. you just do them once a month. chemical imbalance/trauma/genetic reasons for mental health issues a scam and a lie.
@@carolynbridgeman5981Most likely not. One is going to be a better explanation than the other. BPD (per my understanding) is more a matter of motivation rather than pure response. There's a manipulative aspect there.
Thank you so much for your content and expertise. Your channel and others like yours have given me so much insight to why I respond and react the way I do. More importantly, it explains my parents, and helps me understand them 🫶🏽💚. Peace light and love to all the hurt hearts
The cat is awesome and the reason I will always have a cat in my life! They help with emotional regulation and keeping you calm and safe and it’s amazing they relax you with their purrs and rubs
The Crappy Childhood Fairy is another resource family. Currently healing from CPTSD started 2 years ago. Blessings on your healing journey too! Thanks Doc 💙💙💙
Be careful with The Crappy Childhood Fairy. She’s not a doctor or a therapist. She shares what work she’s put into understanding trauma and what worked for her healing.
Her channel has helped me alot as well. Can't say I agree with all of her content.. I do feel her religious views get in the way of her understanding of the spiritual aspect of the effects of trauma as she would refer to these things as 'woo woo'. It's okay.. I know she means well. This is why we need to learn to be discerning.. its possible for a person to be incorrect about something and correct and really helpful in other aspects. We're all fallable creatures
This is so true. I was on heavy anti-depressants for a decade. They made me sluggish and tired all the time. I gained weight and I couldn't lose it, no matter what I tried. My psychiatrists couldn't understand why traditional psychiatric medications weren't working, nothing would touch my depression or extreme anxiety. They missed the fact that I was dealing with severe C-PTSD. My body saw danger everywhere. It got to a point where I hated leaving my apartment, I became a hermit to avoid the dangers of the outside world. Correct diagnosis is so important. I'm off of all psychiatric meds and I am learning to manage my C-PTSD. My anxiety has been reduced drastically, which I never thought could happen. I thought I'd always jump at every loud noise and that I could never just be comfortable or calm. But I am learning and my body is learning too. Thank you so much for all your wonderful resources on this! ❤ You are a life saver!
I was misdiagnosed with bipolar, adhd, bpd, Gad, depression, and aniexty for 10 years. It wasn't until a psychologist did a full-scale assessment with me about my childhood to adulthood. I received a ptsd diagnosis and was told to educate myself on it and find a trauma informed therapist. Thanks for the work you are doing ❤ It definitely helps me understand more about my mental health.
As an auDHD person who relates to the PDA profile, I struggle so much to heal trauma. I feel like the resources weren't written for me. I've been working on the trauma, and I feel like I know how to work on that and I can get behind how to heal the trauma, but what I constantly fail at is creating a safe environment for myself. A lot of tasks I need to do just feel too much so it's a damned if you do damned if you don't situation...if I don't do the thing I show myself that my situation isn't safe and I'm not getting my needs met, if I do, I am showing myself that my boundaries aren't to be respected and that I cannot trust the signals of my body. I need to reparent, but my pitfall keeps being that I don't seem to have the skills or ability to actually care for myself.
You get it. You are a beacon of light. After 49 years I have finally found someone who educates regarding this disorder. It’s been a battle but now I’m kinder to myself - or at least be able to recognize I can be kinder to myself. I don’t know I could go on and on. I now know why I am so hard on myself and self sabotage, the anxiety, little confidence, etc it goes on. Thank you ❤
I was "diagnosed" with bipolar and ADHD at 10. I went through multiple doctors for the next 15 years before my current therapist was like "No, you have CPTSD. You should never have been given that diagnosis at 10!" It's only now with a proper diagnosis that I'm making progress in my treatment.
THANK. YOU!!!! Learning about C-PTSD was a watershed for me. I immediately re-diagnosed myself and both my PCP and therapist agreed with me. Most other mental illnesses are under the umbrella of C-PTSD and describe how our dysregulation patterns formed. To complicate this further, women and non-white people are usually misdiagnosed as bipolar moreso than any other groups. It's IMPERATIVE that we begin talking openly amongst ourselves about our individual mental health journeys, acknowledge the intersectional impacts of abuse, and use our collective influence to change the mental health industry rather than the other way around.
Couldn't agree with you more on how culture/ race/ethnicity effects the way different conditions present themselves. Especially as a Black woman. We don't get to be depressed or have anxiety etc. We are just "difficult" or have an "attitude problem" ... everything doesn't look the same on everybody 💜
I often wonder if I was misdiagnosed. I believe I have cptsd not BPD. I’ve worked so hard on my tools for self soothing and communication I am a completely different person and it started with your book!! ❤
Now imagine I've lived basically the same exact environment, same people, same sorta warped perspective for 30 years. Not JUST childhood trauma, but trauma that remained and was the norm for me until recently when I discovered it WAS trauma, it WAS unhealthy and it wasn't me. Like, it's not that I just have all these disorders, it's that I've been very traumatized, very alone and very confused and ashamed of myself and felt very helpless, lead to believe I'm disabled and incapable, and never felt validated, heard, loved or appreciated.
Dear Dr. Nicole LePera, Thanks to your educational videos, I know my symptoms and the reason behind them now better. My only question is what should I do for my healing and are the referenced books really helpful in my healing process? Be blessed and blissful ❤🕊🙏
Yes. I have been diagnosed with both but only treat the Complex ptsd within the last year in a half and Continue with Conselong etc. Recovery takes years but Trauma work although painful will Change Your Life and Perspective and eventually you will realize it's not "You" and it Wasn't "Your" Fault. Sending Love And Healing ❤ 🙏🏼.
A lot of things go misdiagnosed, the doctors still don't seem to know what I have, but as of right now I've used up all my iron stores and I have to go for an iron infusion here in the next week. My parents are both deceased, they both died in the past 7 years, The doctor said that I had growth deficiency in 1982, They never got me treated because my dad thought the doctors just wanted his money, I told him one year before his death, he quit talking to me and his wife quit talking to me. He passed away in Oregon and I'm in Michigan and it's like nobody in my whole family wants anything to do with me, I speak the truth, But it's like I'm the only one of my family who is not allowed to be sick. 🤷
Watching other women getting diagnosed with Autism and ADHD, and having their traits, made me go in the direction of getting diagnosed in that way, but the paychologist I got diagnosed with never suggested C-PTSD. Looking into C-PTSD, it makes me seriously reconsider everything and I feel that it's all been greatly misunderstood. What I considered Autistic traits in early childhood could 100% be from the neglect I experienced throughout my life, including my developmental years. Your videos have really opened my eyes to everything and I wish their were more paychologists that see a bigger picture, not just what's trending.
Thank you for this. I’m the mother of a boy who I had to take away from his father due to his addiction and abusive behavior. It’s been nearly three years and I finally feel like my life and his are blossoming.
Just your little "shorts" videos have helped me so much. I have a therapist who seems to understand me, finally, but little bumps that I get from you and others have been driving me. At 55, I now recognize, am beginning to remember, and moving towards who I am really supposed to be. Thank you.
Ah, so this could be it? Sometimes I think I don't have anything to have ptsd over, but when a saw a video about writing things down in ur life that are big evens, I have at least 3 in each year. Spaning over 11 years. I juat thought I was odd for spending my life in my room with my "imaginary" friends, or that I'm faking symptoms of ADHD when ever I act like some on the list. anyone who does have this tho, I hope u all continue you be happy.
Psalms 27:10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. 11 Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.
Great public service here. I never heard of CPTSD until Pete Walker wrote his book in 2014 which was after I had spent over a decade and literally tens of thousands of $$ on mostly cognitive behavioral therapy which did more harm than help. There are some youtube channels now that have helped me more than all of the CBT did. The most help was the grief and anger work which I have done at home this year. After a literal lifetime of being so shutdown I was not able to cry or rage I'm finally getting clarity. Although it feels strange and often creates a fear of being "mean" I also know I've finally made great strides and am often able to recognize my emotional disregulation. Having been the family scapegoat and also an empath has made the journey more difficult to unravel. IFS has also been helpful along with Hakomi therapy which gave me a counselor who cared about me.
@@katrbudz892 Isn't that what I said? ADHD is supposedly a neurological developmental disorder (as in the brain is underdeveloped in areas relating to persistent focus etc), this couldn't be farther from the truth in my (and many other's) opinion. ADHD is trauma in the sense that trauma causes persistent stress, and a stressed brain functions poorly in terms of all aspects related to "adhd". If you are stressed it also becomes harder to make good choices in your life overall, in terms of nutrition, sleep habits, exercise etc. Also if you are traumatized as a child, you most likely haven't learned healthy habits regarding self-care. Stress activates the sympathetic nervous system which overtime can affect your ability to focus and think physiologically. I think we've all been in a very stressful situation having to think clearly - and it is near impossible. It is hard to keep a "cool head" in a stressful situation. Then imagine all social situations facing authority or a group of people being stressful for someone with trauma and ask them to think clearly in them. See what I mean?
I know what is ADHD, because I have it myself, and I know that Trauma is mental , and ADHD is neurological. Trauma can be cured, but ADHD can only be kept undet control.... Which doesn't mean you don't humiliate yourself by plaing a victim because of this, because I know that person with that syndrome can be hyper focused and keep dopamine system under control. Which means that can be more goal oriented and efficient than an average person. Everything depends on self discipline. And if you want me to to explain why I see it differently and as response for trauma, not trauma(mental injury) itself. That is so because mind often creates mechanism of distraction if wants to avoid unpleasant experience. For instance... When daughter is r*ped by her stepfather/father, in the moment of act itself victim use depersonalization as way to protect self. She is being elsewhere but not present in her body in the moment of this situation. People with ADHD use this kind of detachment mechanism on daily basis, because it became neurologically their habit as escape response for trauma. If you want to cure trauma... You cure only issue with that event. If want cure ADHD, you must rewire all the neural network in your brain and the way it builds itself while you are memorising, because it is also been changed, and IS functioning as a habit, but independently from trauma afterward. Doesn't matter if you cure the mental issue, or not.
Exactly what happened to me decades ago. This is such important information. They tried to give me Ritalin in the 70s. I was so upset! Just needed unconditional love & a healthy home.
I can definitely resonate. As the family scapegoat growing up, my parents and psychiatrist were so quick to put a thirteen year old girl on ADD meds that made me feel high. I just needed a healthy home and parents.
the body remembers........ I cry every time I see/hear that on any of your videos!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's so sad but true. thank you 4 the love & guidance & support you share/show & give 2 ALL of US.
Somatic Experiencing Therapy changed my life! Went from too many panic attacks to hold down a job, all the way to zero panic attacks and just got a really good stable job! I don't drink anymore either, and I'm working on quitting social media. It's a night and day difference
I photographed every section on my phone and hand wrote it in my journal. Thank you very much Nicole. You are helping us all to understand, remember, see who we are and why, and prayerfully and hopefully to heal.❤
I was misdiagnosed more times than I can count. When I started facing my past instead of avoiding it, and became honest enough to so and willing to go to any Lenghts to heal and understand myself by research and many 12 step programs…I now live life medication free. I have learned new skills, mindset, and built a spiritual environment. Most importantly STOPED allowing negative toxic family members in my life and learned to surround myself with people who had what I want, and how I wanted to be treated. It’s a choice to continue to live in misery. You are not your past, you are you trying the best way you can to cope and process your pain. ❤
Throughout my life I have been diagnosed with ADHD, Bipolar 2, anxiety and depression- plus mild OCD. I am so grateful for finding Dr. LaPera’s videos. Each scene is like watching my life play out, especially in the parent interactions-sometimes it matches word for word with what I’ve experienced. I don’t know what to do about it though, I stopped taking my medicine at one point bc I questioned if I need and my therapist won’t talk to me unless “I’m compliant”. My psych quit and said he just couldn’t help me bc I was “too much”. So I just take my meds like a good little zombie and try to carry on. I had never heard of CPTSD before. I wish it had more recognition in the medical community, I don’t even know where to begin to find a provider willing to help me treat this, the ones I have now took months to find. 🙏🏾😔
I ❤ seeing your cat come up to you during this and your little smile. Without my dogs and my cats over the years, I don't know how I would have coped. The love of an animal is so real
I wanna like this post 100x! Thank you for sharing the resources!! The Body Keeps the Score (shared with me from a friend with CPTSD) changed my life!!! I was at a point where I thought I was losing my mind after so many doctor visits and tests with no explanations from the results. I had all these physical symptoms, sometimes with no conscious thoughts or triggers and no idea how to stop them! That book single handedly saved my life and opened the doors to somatic practices like yoga and breathwork and an understanding that what i was going through was a normal response to trauma!! I may have been broken but it is fixable and my brain and body are working to protect me!! ❤
Nicole I am so greatful we are on this planet together at this time. Thank you for all you are doing to be a true leader for and supporter of humanity. You are a rising star who will go far.
May we be set free from narcissistic mothers in Jesus name!!! ❤ Do not depend on liars to tell the truth! They will not! God is teaching me to overcome self doubt in Jesus’ name
I love the Walker book! It's been crucial in helping me identify what therapy couldn't. A 12-step fellowship is significant in my personal healing journey, and now I also found your channel! 🙏💜🦋
Thank you so much for doing these on c-ptsd. A lot of people don't understand. Including me and I have it. My romantic relationships have been affected by it. I have better friendships than romance. But my friends don't understand that small dissociating I still do it's like my brain got used to it even though it's no longer needed.
Not my psych treating me for bpd for 8 months without my knowledge even though i told her from the start i had C-ptsd 😭 Yes i did report her. Thank you for making this video
Thank you so much for putting this out there, for educating people with complex PTSD, as well as those who live with or know people who have complex PTSD. I really identify with your videos and I appreciate what you were doing. God bless you
Thank you for voicing your knowledge. I’ve been following and I feel heard. Treated for CPTSD and self knowledge and learning is where it’s at! So grateful for you. I may not be where I want to be, but I’m not where I was! Keep moving forward!❤
I love that your cat came to you in this video. My childhood cat was a protector/angel for me during my scary, chaotic childhood. He was such a soothing source of support and regulation for me 🥰
I love your channel thank you for all. I wish CPTSD could be healed but after almost fourty years i have to deal with all the symptoms 24/7 despite all therapies i have done incl. EMDR it sucks
I really appreciate what you’re doing for the society and world. No one received lessons on how to be a good parent, people repeat the patterns they saw at home, and if they weren’t good they create a new generation of troubled children. You’re opening the eyes of people who want to be a parent, first, heal yourself, and understand the core of any healthy relationship is love, but first, understand what’s love
I have CPTSD and every relationship I've ever had, family, friends, partners, just end silently one day. I stopped texting people and calling them. Stopped sharing events and photos on FB. It was a silent escape from reality. Before I even realized it, I was alone. Nobody will wait for you to catch up, they have to move forward with their own lives. I don't blame them for leaving me behind, I never reached out for help. I didn't consciously push them away either. It just happened. I just drift through the days, months, years. Sometimes I "wake up" and realize how much time has passed and I have a panic attack. To me, it's still 2010, back when my world still had color. I can't chronologically remember events that have happened in my life. The pieces of my mind are so broken down that all that's left is sand. Right now, I'm trying to figure out how to move forward. Even sand can polish a stone eventually.
The most important relationship is the one with yourself. You haven't given up yourself, which is amazing!
Be a good friend to yourself, when you can. Others will follow. One step at a time. :)
Poignant.
@azazelorion I can relate to this to a T. You are not alone. Thanks for putting this out there in the world for someone like myself to find.
*hugs* it looks and feels different for each of us, but maybe not as different as we always think. You’re not alone and healing is possible ❤ it’s a process, but you deserve it
Beautifully said
Sometimes it’s nice seeing or hearing a statement like “your body can heal.”
It’s a little hope, helps me remember who I am under the symptoms
I totally relate to your comment. It's great to hear of hope and we're not alone!
It can heal....what didnt u do to try to bury me but u forgot that im a seed...dinos Christianopoulous
This hit home. Don’t lose hope, I can say from my own experience that you won’t believe what a beautiful person is buried underneath all this trauma. It’s worth the wait and the fight 🤍
The human psyche is so complex, yet our basic needs are quite simple. If every child received the right guidance balanced with love and understanding, there would be very few emotionally damaged adults. It's a sad fact of modern life that there are so many of us.
Thank you sister
Cats should be added to the list of resources. They are wonderful for healing.
yea cats are awesome
And dogs too ❤😊
yes, feline therapy is so real! their purring frequencies are also regenerative/repairing
My mum died of cancer last week, her cat passed away a week later of the same.
All my traumies (my freinds for living in recovery too-many have lost their diagnosis and help others professionally) all have cats!.. 2 of them have cats that are related(which was revealed months after meeting via conversation about the cats)....cats are magically connected to the 'unseen' personally i prefer frogs and all the meaning and myth that goes with them🤔😆
I was diagnosed in 1995 at 9 w/ adhd. Not a single mental health professional asked me about home. They also didn’t ask about my physical health. If they had they would have found that I was in a home that was run by a physically ill mother who had BPD & NPD. That my dad was a low IQ but highly skilled blue collar worker who was an abuse victim. They would have found out that while no one hit me there was unending instability. We were homeless at one point, my dad was the only income but my mother’s mental instability cost him several good jobs. They would have found out that I was never sure when the next days long screaming abusive fits would happen from my mother. They would have found out that I was responsible for my mother’s emotional stability as I got older. They would have found out that I was physically very sick as well, that I had Ehlers Danlos Syndrome which is why I was in constant motion. I was in pain. I was distracted and disassociated because I was hyper vigilant to my mother’s every emotional and physical need. But no one asked. ADHD was an easier label. Trauma, abuse, noe of those things were looked in to. I’m not ADHD but instead a survivor of child abuse and adult child abuse (abuse doesn’t just stop because you hit 18). This is such important info to get out to people.
Yes! We need to bring these things into greater awareness. I can relate to your story. ❤
Yep. One needs to
Understand that the medical/Pharma industry is built upon what’s profitable and healing people doesn’t fit into that. Without the label ADHD they wouldn’t be able to sell you their meds, that only mask symptoms and cause more problems in the long run.
What a beautiful brave person you are! You're not just a survivor you're an overcomer!
Your story reminds me of the song "Luca".
Jesus loves you @mickerzmouse! He loves the real you and the you that non one else saw! He loves the you, that you don't know yet! Why? Because He created you! And He made you beautiful, in His image!
Ask Him to show you who you are! Ask Him to show you His love for you, and He will show you, His arms spread wide apart, crucified on the cross. Your salvation! Your Value! Your life, bought with His blood on the cross! Reach out to Him today. He will heal your heart just like He did mine.
You're worth it! He knows you by name! And He told me to tell you that you're precious in His sight! ❤
It is tragic and criminal that others who were in a ‘caregiver role/occupation’ would not ask!
I can be encouraged that there are those who are gaining knowledge about trauma-more practitioners.
God, I hope I can get some really good help too.
I have CPTSD from childhood. I'm 53 years old and feel like I'm finally understanding myself. I haven't felt at home anywhere on this planet. It's terrible to feel the loneliness of avoiding social interactions in effort to protect myself from emotional pain. I have to find courage to let myself be known.
This is the struggle I think I identify the most with. My friends got me through life until my late 20s; I left home and isolated and I haven’t been the same since. I’ve also had a tremendous amount of trauma in my life, both before leaving and since moving home. Things right now are the worst they’ve ever been and I do not know what to do.
@@shopmerakiboutik I feel you. And when reading the initial comment I thought of my mother, who I think probably feels that way but it's under so many layers of dysfunctional coping mechanisms that she doesn't even realize.
This is going to be my second christmas without my immediate family, because I had to save myself and remove them from my life. I am materially at my worst point, but mentally not, despite the extremely painful separation of my family. I have begged my brother to come visit me with his kids, but he actually refuses to do so, because he is in this toxic mode of thinking he'd admit to being wrong by coming to visit me.
I was mentally at my lowest a couple of years ago and then finally went to a clinic after not being able to find a therapist after years of searching and waiting. My stay there really turned things around, though I hadn't actually gotten to the core of my issues, but a few layers above.
One key realization that has significantly improved my quality of life was to finally recognize that I inherently have value, regardless of achievements or lack there of. But after returning back to life, my family immediately started to bring me down again and it took me a while to realize. I was obsessed with not blaming others for how I felt, that I didn't realize the routine overstepping of boundaries and the routine toxic behavior. When I then finally addressed just one thing it immediately got turned around on me and how I should take responsibility for myself - ironically that was exactly what I was doing by confronting their abusive behavior.
Sorry, I got carried away a bit there, but I hope it helps you see that you are not alone. You are obviously already on the path of healing, otherwise you wouldn't watch and engage with such a video. That takes strength and courage and I hope that you are proud of yourself. The path of healing is not straightforward and not easy, but it is worth it.
I'm 54. My parents divorced when I was 5. My father was abusive to Mom, used to hit her. When I was about 12 my mother got schizophrenia. I never felt safe as a child or adolescent. And now I am happy that more and more attention is brought to mental health.
You describe my life 😢
@EsterHorbach-it9tb We are survivors, Ester. ❤️ You're not alone and neither am I!
I grew up in an insane chaotic environment with my codependent, domestic abusive parents, and we moved around schools like almost every single year and the overstimulation was insane. It could be way worse but it could be better. I grew up, feeling really anxious, really depressed and I could not even graduate high school. At this point, I still struggle with the same exact mental problems. Getting this information and education is so important because I believe recognition is some of the first steps and healing.
My situation wasn't as bad. I wish I could make you a cup of hot chocolate, a sandwich and give you a hug. God bless, comfort, protect, heal and watch over you.
Warm fuzzies to you❤
Join ACA its free
@@olenick9590What’s ACA?
WOW Thank you for this. Will pass on these resources to help others like you are helping me. God bless you.
I was misdiagnosed for 20 years with Schizoaffective disorder. I was trapped in Fight mode response for that whole time. It was only when my insurance changed & I got a new psychologist & psychiatrist that I was diagnosed with CPTSD. That was a few years ago. I'm still in treatment. I've only now just learned what it actually means to feel safe & calm in my body. I've grasped but certainly not mastered emotional regulation & now I'm working on my self esteem & toxic shame. Thanks to books like those listed. I'm healing.
For me recovery is lifelong one day at a time but the days are getting better as i get older and i love who i am becoming....i wish u every self compassionate thing i wish for myself 💖each persons transformation aids the transformation of the world
You are loved.
I'm so proud of you 👏👏👏👏💪 maybe that's weird coming from a stranger but I hope it makes sense
I have CPTSD, it feels messy and volatile and I can see how it might be misdiagnosed. especially with comorbidities. I really like your page. thanks for making this thoughtful stuff
THANK YOU - 53 years old yesterday - at least 52 of those living with CPTSD.
You have to be very strong to purposefully be able to counteract the entrenched patterns of behavior. Patterns resulting from the prolonged exposure to the conflict driven chaos of early life. Chaos often not recognized, merely accepted as normal by the youngest of minds unable to compare, to differentiate or to remove themselves from the flow of dysfunction.
THANK YOU - P.S I have 4 cats - they seem to know for some reason
Happy (belated) birthday 🎂
Thanks llama-which I am sue you do not look like, odd creatures, I don’t think I’ve seen one in real life, only on TV, kinda similar to a camel. Anyway thank you very much!@@Amanita._.Verosa._.
Same here.. I just have 4 dogs instead of cats..lol
Well, an upside to hyper-vigilance is your writing style. Super articulate, super condensed, basically super! I was so blown away that I took a screenshot of your comment, so during moments of overindulgence in my writing, I can remember how good you are, as a counterbalance. By the way, just so you know I’m 100% sincere, you’ve inspired me to write my first comment ever on CZcams. This is it 😃
You know, sometimes I get the feeling I am adrift in a sea of bots, AI and non-biological entity’s. So, I am glad that you have found inspiration and motivation. Let’s find a path to use tech, instead of being used by it!@@user-kf2og9gv2r
Frank Anderson's book (Trauma blocks love and love heals trauma) ❤ I read 10 books on IFS. Also did many sessions with an IFS Practitioner.
CPTSD is sadly not recognised well. I was initially misdiagnosed with bipolar. Not a single mental health professional asked me about my childhood.
Often people are misdiagnosed with EUPD/Borderline or Bipolar. Modern psychiatry needs a wake up call !
Peter Walker's book: highly recommend it !
The Body Keeps the Score: amazing book that led me to IFS.
Gabor Mate: huge fan. I really liked his movie: The Wisdom of Trauma.
Now I work in mental health and help others to learn: how to love themselves and recover ❤
IFS is new to me. Thanks for sharing.
What is IFS?
@@user-dr4jo5ik6yInternal Family Systems Therapy
@@user-dr4jo5ik6yInternal Family Systems, "No Bad Parts", Richard Schwartz
@@user-dr4jo5ik6yInternal Family Systems. Find a Somatic therapist, they have tools.
This hit a nerve. I started crying. I have lived like this my whole life. You nailed it! Not many people understand. They just don't. Why I isolate and distance myself from people.. it's lonely. 💜 thank you for this video . Putting things in prospective. Thank you.
I do the same,you are not alone
I have CPTSD from childhood and then surviving an incurable chronic illness that has almost killed me three times now. I'm so tired. Thank you for your videos. They validate what I went through, how far I've come and what a badass I've been from the day I was born. But I'm so very tired now.
💗🙏rest is good
Peace to you !
I’ve been working through my trauma with a therapist, and I definitely show signs of CPTSD from living with my abusive/N mother. It’s a lot different from ptsd in that the flashbacks are emotional and vague and very much connected to ongoing experiences rather than a singular event. Sometimes, it feels like a flashback is summoning all the life experiences tied to that emotion at once, and it can get overwhelming. That also makes it harder to heal because one emotion is tied to so many different experiences. But EMDR is helping me (it’s not for everyone, but it works well for me).
I'm glad it's helping you! Is there no creative solution to live away from your Mom? Sometimes there's opportunities to stay in the spare room at the house of an elderly person just so someone is there at night.
In the past, I posted on Craigslist housing wanted and told my story and was willing to help with minor chores to safely be out of the house. As I don't use drugs or drink and stressed strongly I refused to get involved on a personal level people were open to having help.
Of course there's worse situations but you have to check out places and the people and not be afraid to ask them for reference also..
Back in the early 2000's I lived in the house of a retired man in St Pete who was a very good person! He just wanted someone to clean. And I could do what I wanted with my time and go to work.
Later I lived in the house of a man in Hudson's home. Same thing, just be quiet and keep the place clean.
With each place I discussed boundaries and promised not to be a problem I'm any way.
Are u familiar with danu morrigan daughters of narcissistic mothers...game changing information
@@olenick9590 Yes I’ve read it; it’s a great book. I also enjoyed Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
@@PENGUINGIRL1210 yup thats me too 🙄🌹💖
Did you went straight into it for the first session? I had an appointment last week and he was just getting to know me 65 euro. I was disappointed
Thank you so much for spreading awareness, I've learned so much about myself and other people through your videos.
I'm currently nearly 2 years into healing from my own CPTSD and I can't believe how far I've come. I used to be stuck in an endless cycle of depression, anxiety and loneliness. I never thought anything would get better. Now, I've become a completely different person and I finally have confidence in myself and the urge to pursue my goals and connect with people.
Becoming aware is so important to break this cycle, because it usually comes from generational trauma. Everyone who suffers through this deserves so much more. Give yourselves the love and acceptance you and your inner children deserve. It will make such a difference and bring you into a much more fulfilling life. I still can't believe how far I've come. We've all got this 🙏
Instead of complex ptsd it should be childhood ptsd😂
Congratulations! 💜
Thank you so much for sharing it gives me hope! ❤
What types of therapies and heings helped you?
@@Darima2 Cognitive behavioral therapy has helped me lots. It's basically reframing negative, shame-based thoughts into more positive ones.
Meditation helps me reflect too. It's a good way to relieve anxiety and it can help to reconnect with the present moment.
I don't go to therapy personally but I watch a lot of therapy videos to stay consistent and open minded. Whenever any triggers come up for me and I'm overloaded with emotions I make sure to go somewhere quiet to release them. Whether it's crying or anger I'll sit with it and let it pass. I also question where those emotions come from. It's always bad childhood memories for me. Especially feeling rejected, unheard and dismissed by other people.
The key thing is having compassion for yourself and being understanding. Also not blaming yourself for what happened in the past, because it's completely out of your control.
Inner child healing is so real and it's the best way to reconnect with yourself. So if any big emotions come up, let your inner child be heard and give them the love they deserve. Letting yourself grieve, giving yourself a hug and doing self care is the best way to get it back. I hope this helps^^
Cats know. I love that the kitty came to provide comfort.
Thank you so much for posting these shorts! It was through one of your shorts that I realised the cause of my seemingly uncontrollable behaviours after my daughter was born. I'm a qualified counsellor in Australia but I'd never heard of the things you cover here! Since finding your channel I've been educating myself more, self counselling and talking to my husband to work through it. My anger has already stopped controlling me and even though it's hard you can literally see the changes! Thank you so much 🙏❤
Me too🙏2 psychology degrees and years if counselling...it was my cptsd...a series of traumas compounding each other that was holding me back
❤
I think it’s really cool that you noticed the signs in yourself and took steps to manage it. ❤️
I was beeing terrible abused by my ex husband he left me locked home i broke everything. Call the police told a different history and they tooked me to an hospital where a psychiatric diagnosed me as bipolar and bordeline. No one cared about what i said. He locked me as an animal inside the house when the only thing i wanted was to leave that hell. Im divorced now and no signs of neither the bipolar neither the bordeline. I just cant stand toxic people arround. Every toxic people on my life i cutted contact. Its real. Cptsd is beeing missinterpreted everywhere
I understand you.
I just got locked out. All my stuff and my dog with him and his nasty friends unside, telling the worst fixtional stories about me everywhere. When I let Police call him, he got about 3 boxes with random stuff to a garage down the street where I were allowed to make an appointment to fetch them. I didn't get my stuff. I didn't get my dog. I only got per appointment what those rude people wanted to hand out in "mystery-boxes'. You can imagine how much rubbush I got in there... He has stolen all m worthier things and lied to all people and also on police about me... I weren't able to afford an advocat and not beeing merried to him gave me my freedom but also no rights to get my stuff by court...
But what really broke me was the acting of the statern institutions and health care. They should have helped me, let me get my rights - they didn't. I didn't want much, just the minimum... I only got much of anger and depts out of nowhere.
They really broke me and I hate that they got me broken.
Yes. Before diagnosing yourself with a mental disorder, check to see if you're surrounded by assholes.
@@HalloLuja I’m very sorry, to you and the original commenter. Hope things get much better for you. ❤
I have CPTSD, and I really appreciate your channel.
It wasn't until I got to a stable place that it really started hitting hard. It's very debilitating for me as I have lots of trauma around kitchens, cooking, and cleaning/doing chores. So, while I have the skills and know how, being in kitchens, thinking about what to eat or considering making or heating up food, and needing to clean are all very triggering for me, causing me to shut down from the overwhelming flashbacks. As these are things that are necessary for everyday life, I find myself needing to rely heavily on people around me. It makes me feel like I'm a burden and very broken. It can cause me to self isolate a lot because it's hard to articulate why I'm hurting today. Just that I do.
It can be VERY hard just trying to exist around other people that just don't get it and don't understand the depths and weight of what I'm always managing and just how much work I've put into it. Just that it can be slightly inconvenient to them.
I'm really lucky for the support and kindness I get from my coworkers. They don't totally get it, but they are genuinely compassionate and inclusive. And other than my spouse, I have never felt so supported, cared about, or safely seen prior to them. It's been helping me a lot in my healing process.
Also, seeing a therapist who specializes in ptsd has been so much better for me than generalized therapists.
These shorts on C-PTSD get me every time.
How beautiful is that video! Thank you. Verry touching. And, what a great cat ❤🎉!
As a counselor, it is not infrequent that I work with clients who have diagnosed themselves with adhd or autism via tiktok and are adamant that they just need meds while clinging to learned helplessness and refusing to acknowledge or address their deeply traumatic childhood. Thank you for the important work you are doing in helping to educate folks and instill greater hope for recovery and thriving
This❤
I hate to see people start doing meds. I was on Ritalin from age 6-16. My older brother also and he takes antidepressants and antianxiety meds. But he's still not right.
I hope you're able to help people without meds.
there's a heavy bias towards those diagnoses in psychiatry as well. Personally I don't believe adhd and autism is real. And I tried the meds. Now I'm scarred for life.
@@TheDavveponkenas someone who is both Autistic and has ADHD it is very real. Sometimes it's easier to say it's not Autism and say it's a mental health condition because it is possible to overcome mental ill health. You can't overcome Autism and some people don't want to hear that - they want to fix the "problem" because of internalised abelism.
It can be difficult to face up to being Autistic as there are so many negative stereotypes around it.
Just because ADHD medication didn't work for you doesn't mean it was an incorrect diagnosis, it could just mean they didn't work for you (they don't work for everyone).
There is a lot of overlap between the ADHD/Autism and PTSD. Many, if not all, Autistic and ADHD people have experienced trauma. Where does one begin and end?
I could probably tick enough boxes for CPTSD and maybe I could tell myself it's that and believe I can overcome it but I can't because it's not CPTSD, in my case it's Autism. However I would not stop someone else from getting help who does have CPTSD. But Autism and ADHD is the right diagnosis for others and we shouldn't feel we have to cure ourselves.
Btw i see this too...but 'impulsivity' and hyperkineticism is real in those with brain damage and or ID...and some meds like stratera help...
I am suffering. Thank you for the resources.
Join ACA attend their limerick cptsd meetings etc u will heal🙏youll come out of isolation and learn to lovingly reparent urself...i did it, u can too 🙏💖🕊🐢one day at a time
@@olenick9590 Thank you
@@olenick9590sending you my ❤
I second that suggestion-fellow traveler here. That program helped me understand and identify CPTSD and gave the support I needed to find healing. It’s an awesome program.
I'm praying for you in Messiah Yeshua
I just need to take a minute to thank you for your very unique approach to your content and in conveying your messages.. Sensitive, insightful, informative, support... All in the matter of about two minutes at a time. Very clever but VERY life changing. God bless you. Please keep ''em coming.
I have a sra background and have been working through my trauma for over 30 years. I've been sexual abused, physical abused, neglected, have a nasatistic mother. I struggle with alcohol addiction but have overcome so much and am really proud of how far I've come. But I know I still have a lot of healing to do but I so want to be well and the best person I can be. Love to you all never give up on yourself 💕
Makes me cry, how our bodies try to protect us , amazing
The crappy childhood fairy helped me a lot. ❤ she saved me.
Anna is a god send.
I was misdiagnosed with bipolar as a teenager. I believe it was cptsd from a very traumatic childhood growing up with toxic parents.. now my parents always use that diagnosis against me 😢
I have C-PTSD. Grew up in chaotic household, filled with lot of shouting, shame an blame. Then living in anxiety, panic attacks, and more. Now i am healing. Now finally i am understanding the ways i have been responding to outer world. Thank you for your videos and resources.
How
So cool your support kitty came by to be with you.On the outside so composed but on the inside needing what your cat knew you needed. Is it any wonder animals know us so well.
I had a long standing misdiagnosis of borderline personality disorder, and it led to more trauma due to the adults around me insisting that I "was the problem" and "needed to be on meds".
Finally, at age 45, I've been correctly diagnosed with c-PTSD and have spent the past four years working through a lot of trauma. I'm in a healthy and loving relationship with a great man, and it looks like things have started working for the best.
It can take DECADES to get healthy and heal, and a lot of people fail to mention that. Healing from an entire lifetime of abuse isn't easy or quick, but it can happen.
mental health issues are just nutrition deficincies, 92 percent of the population doesnt even know about nutrition deficiencies. its on purpose so the heathcare industry can make billions and cure nothing and keep you sick. a preservitive free myers cocktail iv and preservitive free d3 injjection or iv will cure almost all health issues in about a week. you just do them once a month. chemical imbalance/trauma/genetic reasons for mental health issues a scam and a lie.
Remember, you can have borderline personality disorder AND CPTSD.
@@carolynbridgeman5981Most likely not. One is going to be a better explanation than the other. BPD (per my understanding) is more a matter of motivation rather than pure response. There's a manipulative aspect there.
Thank you so much for your content and expertise. Your channel and others like yours have given me so much insight to why I respond and react the way I do. More importantly, it explains my parents, and helps me understand them 🫶🏽💚. Peace light and love to all the hurt hearts
The cat is awesome and the reason I will always have a cat in my life! They help with emotional regulation and keeping you calm and safe and it’s amazing they relax you with their purrs and rubs
I got diagnosed with Being on the Autism spectrum, but I'm realizing I grew up with a very toxic Dad and I had/have those symptoms too
The Crappy Childhood Fairy is another resource family. Currently healing from CPTSD started 2 years ago. Blessings on your healing journey too! Thanks Doc 💙💙💙
Be careful with The Crappy Childhood Fairy. She’s not a doctor or a therapist. She shares what work she’s put into understanding trauma and what worked for her healing.
And also she charges so much money for her services like a lot. Kinda grifting on her own trauma.
And sadly she let political crap and conspiracy theories creep into her videos. I checked out. I get enough of that from my family...
Her channel has helped me alot as well.
Can't say I agree with all of her content.. I do feel her religious views get in the way of her understanding of the spiritual aspect of the effects of trauma as she would refer to these things as 'woo woo'.
It's okay.. I know she means well. This is why we need to learn to be discerning.. its possible for a person to be incorrect about something and correct and really helpful in other aspects.
We're all fallable creatures
I have found her to be a wonderful resource
This is so true. I was on heavy anti-depressants for a decade. They made me sluggish and tired all the time. I gained weight and I couldn't lose it, no matter what I tried. My psychiatrists couldn't understand why traditional psychiatric medications weren't working, nothing would touch my depression or extreme anxiety. They missed the fact that I was dealing with severe C-PTSD. My body saw danger everywhere. It got to a point where I hated leaving my apartment, I became a hermit to avoid the dangers of the outside world.
Correct diagnosis is so important. I'm off of all psychiatric meds and I am learning to manage my C-PTSD. My anxiety has been reduced drastically, which I never thought could happen. I thought I'd always jump at every loud noise and that I could never just be comfortable or calm. But I am learning and my body is learning too. Thank you so much for all your wonderful resources on this! ❤ You are a life saver!
I cry out when I hear loud noises. How did you solve that?
The way you communicate the message is spot on. Thank you.
I was misdiagnosed with bipolar, adhd, bpd, Gad, depression, and aniexty for 10 years. It wasn't until a psychologist did a full-scale assessment with me about my childhood to adulthood. I received a ptsd diagnosis and was told to educate myself on it and find a trauma informed therapist. Thanks for the work you are doing ❤ It definitely helps me understand more about my mental health.
As an auDHD person who relates to the PDA profile, I struggle so much to heal trauma. I feel like the resources weren't written for me. I've been working on the trauma, and I feel like I know how to work on that and I can get behind how to heal the trauma, but what I constantly fail at is creating a safe environment for myself. A lot of tasks I need to do just feel too much so it's a damned if you do damned if you don't situation...if I don't do the thing I show myself that my situation isn't safe and I'm not getting my needs met, if I do, I am showing myself that my boundaries aren't to be respected and that I cannot trust the signals of my body. I need to reparent, but my pitfall keeps being that I don't seem to have the skills or ability to actually care for myself.
You get it. You are a beacon of light. After 49 years I have finally found someone who educates regarding this disorder. It’s been a battle but now I’m kinder to myself - or at least be able to recognize I can be kinder to myself. I don’t know I could go on and on. I now know why I am so hard on myself and self sabotage, the anxiety, little confidence, etc it goes on. Thank you ❤
I was "diagnosed" with bipolar and ADHD at 10. I went through multiple doctors for the next 15 years before my current therapist was like "No, you have CPTSD. You should never have been given that diagnosis at 10!" It's only now with a proper diagnosis that I'm making progress in my treatment.
I can’t tell you how helpful your content is for me. ❤ Thank you!
This was so helpful. The list. Tha k you for taking the time to talk about this. We suffer and no one knows why.
THANK. YOU!!!! Learning about C-PTSD was a watershed for me. I immediately re-diagnosed myself and both my PCP and therapist agreed with me. Most other mental illnesses are under the umbrella of C-PTSD and describe how our dysregulation patterns formed. To complicate this further, women and non-white people are usually misdiagnosed as bipolar moreso than any other groups. It's IMPERATIVE that we begin talking openly amongst ourselves about our individual mental health journeys, acknowledge the intersectional impacts of abuse, and use our collective influence to change the mental health industry rather than the other way around.
Couldn't agree with you more on how culture/ race/ethnicity effects the way different conditions present themselves. Especially as a Black woman. We don't get to be depressed or have anxiety etc. We are just "difficult" or have an "attitude problem" ... everything doesn't look the same on everybody 💜
I often wonder if I was misdiagnosed. I believe I have cptsd not BPD. I’ve worked so hard on my tools for self soothing and communication I am a completely different person and it started with your book!! ❤
Thank you for the validation! Your work is tremendously appreciated!
I love the " your body can heal " 😊🎉🎉
This is my whole life of 56 years! Thank you jesus for healing me and changing my life!!!
Now imagine I've lived basically the same exact environment, same people, same sorta warped perspective for 30 years. Not JUST childhood trauma, but trauma that remained and was the norm for me until recently when I discovered it WAS trauma, it WAS unhealthy and it wasn't me. Like, it's not that I just have all these disorders, it's that I've been very traumatized, very alone and very confused and ashamed of myself and felt very helpless, lead to believe I'm disabled and incapable, and never felt validated, heard, loved or appreciated.
Mine was not childhood but rather from an abusive marriage
Dear Dr. Nicole LePera,
Thanks to your educational videos, I know my symptoms and the reason behind them now better. My only question is what should I do for my healing and are the referenced books really helpful in my healing process? Be blessed and blissful ❤🕊🙏
I have all those books and they have helped me immensely
Yes. I have been diagnosed with both but only treat the Complex ptsd within the last year in a half and Continue with Conselong etc. Recovery takes years but Trauma work although painful will Change Your Life and Perspective and eventually you will realize it's not "You" and it Wasn't "Your" Fault. Sending Love And Healing ❤ 🙏🏼.
I’m so grateful that after years of confusion about my issues my current therapist brought CPTSD to my attention ❤
A lot of things go misdiagnosed, the doctors still don't seem to know what I have, but as of right now I've used up all my iron stores and I have to go for an iron infusion here in the next week. My parents are both deceased, they both died in the past 7 years, The doctor said that I had growth deficiency in 1982, They never got me treated because my dad thought the doctors just wanted his money, I told him one year before his death, he quit talking to me and his wife quit talking to me. He passed away in Oregon and I'm in Michigan and it's like nobody in my whole family wants anything to do with me, I speak the truth, But it's like I'm the only one of my family who is not allowed to be sick. 🤷
You are such a love for sharing. TY! ❤
Watching other women getting diagnosed with Autism and ADHD, and having their traits, made me go in the direction of getting diagnosed in that way, but the paychologist I got diagnosed with never suggested C-PTSD. Looking into C-PTSD, it makes me seriously reconsider everything and I feel that it's all been greatly misunderstood. What I considered Autistic traits in early childhood could 100% be from the neglect I experienced throughout my life, including my developmental years. Your videos have really opened my eyes to everything and I wish their were more paychologists that see a bigger picture, not just what's trending.
Thank you for this. I’m the mother of a boy who I had to take away from his father due to his addiction and abusive behavior. It’s been nearly three years and I finally feel like my life and his are blossoming.
The emotional flashbacks are something that doesn't seem to overlap with other mood disorders. You usually feel it before any thoughts
Sometimes I wonder who and how I would be without the CPTSD. Probably nothing.
No you would not be "nothing" but on a different journey filled with challenges and moments frozen in time. Both to be cherished in their own way.
Just your little "shorts" videos have helped me so much. I have a therapist who seems to understand me, finally, but little bumps that I get from you and others have been driving me. At 55, I now recognize, am beginning to remember, and moving towards who I am really supposed to be. Thank you.
Really really nicely done. Thank you so much. ❤ I love that you had an assistant. 🐈
Ah, so this could be it?
Sometimes I think I don't have anything to have ptsd over, but when a saw a video about writing things down in ur life that are big evens, I have at least 3 in each year. Spaning over 11 years.
I juat thought I was odd for spending my life in my room with my "imaginary" friends, or that I'm faking symptoms of ADHD when ever I act like some on the list.
anyone who does have this tho, I hope u all continue you be happy.
Yes and amen. ❤❤❤
love ur cat❤... tears
so grateful to find you❤❤❤❤
You’re such a light in this life, Dr Nicole. Thank you for your care and great work in helping us all to heal 🩷🎉
Thank you for all you do to help us get through and heal. I am so appreciative. ❤
🙏
Psalms 27:10
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. 11 Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.
Great public service here. I never heard of CPTSD until Pete Walker wrote his book in 2014 which was after I had spent over a decade and literally tens of thousands of $$ on mostly cognitive behavioral therapy which did more harm than help. There are some youtube channels now that have helped me more than all of the CBT did. The most help was the grief and anger work which I have done at home this year. After a literal lifetime of being so shutdown I was not able to cry or rage I'm finally getting clarity. Although it feels strange and often creates a fear of being "mean" I also know I've finally made great strides and am often able to recognize my emotional disregulation. Having been the family scapegoat and also an empath has made the journey more difficult to unravel. IFS has also been helpful along with Hakomi therapy which gave me a counselor who cared about me.
The ammount I have seen and the amout I have had my hand forced is incalculateable all that keeps me going is a hope and a promise.
Cptsd often goes with ADHD altogether. I wouldn't claim that it is not the same, because according to Gabor Mate ADHD is always result of trauma.
ADHD IS trauma. It's as "simple" as that. I learned it the hard way from being poisoned with Ritalin.
@@TheDavveponkenNo, ADHD is not trauma... It is from trauma, because it is based on trauma response cognitive and attention ability disorder.
@@katrbudz892 Isn't that what I said? ADHD is supposedly a neurological developmental disorder (as in the brain is underdeveloped in areas relating to persistent focus etc), this couldn't be farther from the truth in my (and many other's) opinion. ADHD is trauma in the sense that trauma causes persistent stress, and a stressed brain functions poorly in terms of all aspects related to "adhd". If you are stressed it also becomes harder to make good choices in your life overall, in terms of nutrition, sleep habits, exercise etc. Also if you are traumatized as a child, you most likely haven't learned healthy habits regarding self-care.
Stress activates the sympathetic nervous system which overtime can affect your ability to focus and think physiologically. I think we've all been in a very stressful situation having to think clearly - and it is near impossible. It is hard to keep a "cool head" in a stressful situation. Then imagine all social situations facing authority or a group of people being stressful for someone with trauma and ask them to think clearly in them. See what I mean?
I know what is ADHD, because I have it myself, and I know that Trauma is mental , and ADHD is neurological. Trauma can be cured, but ADHD can only be kept undet control.... Which doesn't mean you don't humiliate yourself by plaing a victim because of this, because I know that person with that syndrome can be hyper focused and keep dopamine system under control. Which means that can be more goal oriented and efficient than an average person. Everything depends on self discipline. And if you want me to to explain why I see it differently and as response for trauma, not trauma(mental injury) itself. That is so because mind often creates mechanism of distraction if wants to avoid unpleasant experience. For instance... When daughter is r*ped by her stepfather/father, in the moment of act itself victim use depersonalization as way to protect self. She is being elsewhere but not present in her body in the moment of this situation. People with ADHD use this kind of detachment mechanism on daily basis, because it became neurologically their habit as escape response for trauma. If you want to cure trauma... You cure only issue with that event. If want cure ADHD, you must rewire all the neural network in your brain and the way it builds itself while you are memorising, because it is also been changed, and IS functioning as a habit, but independently from trauma afterward. Doesn't matter if you cure the mental issue, or not.
@katrbudz892 have you been diagnosed for narsscism aswell?
Thanks to your love & compassion, my healing process is much more enriched and actually quite enjoyable. So grateful! 🎉❤
Exactly what happened to me decades ago. This is such important information. They tried to give me Ritalin in the 70s. I was so upset! Just needed unconditional love & a healthy home.
I can definitely resonate. As the family scapegoat growing up, my parents and psychiatrist were so quick to put a thirteen year old girl on ADD meds that made me feel high. I just needed a healthy home and parents.
the body remembers........
I cry every time I see/hear that on any of your videos!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's so sad but true.
thank you 4 the love & guidance & support you share/show & give 2 ALL of US.
Somatic Experiencing Therapy changed my life! Went from too many panic attacks to hold down a job, all the way to zero panic attacks and just got a really good stable job! I don't drink anymore either, and I'm working on quitting social media. It's a night and day difference
Please can u tell me which somatic exercises u did , any youtube channel reference
I photographed every section on my phone and hand wrote it in my journal. Thank you very much Nicole. You are helping us all to understand, remember, see who we are and why, and prayerfully and hopefully to heal.❤
I do this too. Helps me remember and learn. 🙏
I was misdiagnosed more times than I can count. When I started facing my past instead of avoiding it, and became honest enough to so and willing to go to any Lenghts to heal and understand myself by research and many 12 step programs…I now live life medication free. I have learned new skills, mindset, and built a spiritual environment. Most importantly STOPED allowing negative toxic family members in my life and learned to surround myself with people who had what I want, and how I wanted to be treated. It’s a choice to continue to live in misery. You are not your past, you are you trying the best way you can to cope and process your pain. ❤
Throughout my life I have been diagnosed with ADHD, Bipolar 2, anxiety and depression- plus mild OCD. I am so grateful for finding Dr. LaPera’s videos. Each scene is like watching my life play out, especially in the parent interactions-sometimes it matches word for word with what I’ve experienced. I don’t know what to do about it though, I stopped taking my medicine at one point bc I questioned if I need and my therapist won’t talk to me unless “I’m compliant”. My psych quit and said he just couldn’t help me bc I was “too much”. So I just take my meds like a good little zombie and try to carry on. I had never heard of CPTSD before. I wish it had more recognition in the medical community, I don’t even know where to begin to find a provider willing to help me treat this, the ones I have now took months to find. 🙏🏾😔
Watching for the comfort of feeling seen, validated and known. Thank you
I ❤ seeing your cat come up to you during this and your little smile. Without my dogs and my cats over the years, I don't know how I would have coped. The love of an animal is so real
Your cat came in at the right time ❤. Gotta love how our furbabues just know when to come help us. God sent!
I wanna like this post 100x! Thank you for sharing the resources!! The Body Keeps the Score (shared with me from a friend with CPTSD) changed my life!!! I was at a point where I thought I was losing my mind after so many doctor visits and tests with no explanations from the results. I had all these physical symptoms, sometimes with no conscious thoughts or triggers and no idea how to stop them! That book single handedly saved my life and opened the doors to somatic practices like yoga and breathwork and an understanding that what i was going through was a normal response to trauma!! I may have been broken but it is fixable and my brain and body are working to protect me!! ❤
Thank You!❤😊❤ I send love and prayers to all struggling!😢❤
Nicole I am so greatful we are on this planet together at this time. Thank you for all you are doing to be a true leader for and supporter of humanity. You are a rising star who will go far.
Thank you for this Dr. Nicole
This is the core of my healing journey. THANK YOU
May we be set free from narcissistic mothers in Jesus name!!! ❤ Do not depend on liars to tell the truth! They will not! God is teaching me to overcome self doubt in Jesus’ name
I love the Walker book! It's been crucial in helping me identify what therapy couldn't. A 12-step fellowship is significant in my personal healing journey, and now I also found your channel! 🙏💜🦋
Thank you so much for doing these on c-ptsd. A lot of people don't understand. Including me and I have it. My romantic relationships have been affected by it. I have better friendships than romance. But my friends don't understand that small dissociating I still do it's like my brain got used to it even though it's no longer needed.
You cannot imagine how helpful is your work; I think my disregulation has finally a name. This is so deliberating. Thank you so much ❤
Not my psych treating me for bpd for 8 months without my knowledge even though i told her from the start i had C-ptsd 😭
Yes i did report her.
Thank you for making this video
Thank you so much for putting this out there, for educating people with complex PTSD, as well as those who live with or know people who have complex PTSD. I really identify with your videos and I appreciate what you were doing. God bless you
Thank you for voicing your knowledge. I’ve been following and I feel heard. Treated for CPTSD and self knowledge and learning is where it’s at! So grateful for you. I may not be where I want to be, but I’m not where I was! Keep moving forward!❤
I love that your cat came to you in this video. My childhood cat was a protector/angel for me during my scary, chaotic childhood. He was such a soothing source of support and regulation for me 🥰
I love your channel thank you for all. I wish CPTSD could be healed but after almost fourty years i have to deal with all the symptoms 24/7 despite all therapies i have done incl. EMDR it sucks
❤Thank you for your being. Not being alone when everything falls apart again is one of the most important anchors at the moment❤
THANK YOU
I really appreciate what you’re doing for the society and world. No one received lessons on how to be a good parent, people repeat the patterns they saw at home, and if they weren’t good they create a new generation of troubled children. You’re opening the eyes of people who want to be a parent, first, heal yourself, and understand the core of any healthy relationship is love, but first, understand what’s love
You’re such a beautiful soul. Your vids have helped my life and my kids lives thank you so much. Truly.
Omg, thank you SO much for this!!! I LOVE: "Your body is wise and resilient. You can heal." and the resources listed at the end.
Damn. I know this well and isn't it a shame. Trying to stop the cycle. My heart goes out to all others in the same situation.
Oh my GOSH!!! 😢I’m crying from being so grateful for this! I sent this to my Momma as well we both suffer from this